Forum Activity for @nea

Nea
@nea
06/14/12 01:35:33PM
201 posts



Right, so shields are extensions of ourselves, they are visualizations that we use to help our brains and bodies cope with input from around us. If a shield is not working against, say a particular person or energy, one has to ask oneself - what is making me susceptible to this particular thing and what about my attitude can I change? The more I think about it, the more I believe that shields are strongly connected to our own knowledge about ourselves and the world around us - and particularly to our own connection and/or relation to it.

For instance, me simply knowing about empathy and energy, changes the way I filter input from the outside - and that is just on an unconscious level. Controlling it is another thing entirely. One can have a seemingly perfect shielding, and suddenly become affected by something or someone, that makes one reel inside.

What I am saying is that a shield is not a magical blanket one puts on, it comes from within - thoughts, ideas, perception, will, and emotion etc. There is clearly a psychological aspect that is deeply personal.

Since shielding is an extension of us, the idea of shielding as a concept that is set apart from ourselves is deceptive, because it hides the real issue, which is our own minds and souls. I guess this is the good news, because since we have free will, we can seek out ourselves, and learn. For some of us that can mean seeking out something that is higher than ourselves - I know that many here turn to God, or something they call God, when they are overwhelmed by this life. Also I think a place like this helps - just to know we are not alone in our struggles, that we can comfort each other.

In essence, shields that come from our own minds naturally don't protect against forces that our minds are not ready for or that are beyond our understanding, consciously and subconsciously. Yes, it's easier to blame the shield than see who you yourself are, but there is no shame in ignorance of oneself, because this world hides us from ourselves. The bible incidentally say that we will one day see the truth as if in a mirror, and I believe that.

And I believe that there is powerful protection against anything out there. I have sometimes felt it as clearly as if something was trying to hit me and instead hitting an impenetrable wall. And I don't credit any of that to my shielding skills, actually none of it. My conscious shielding is, if anything, a product of my own understanding and centeredness, but it doesn't change who I am, or give me magical powers.

Anyway, this is what I have come up with, considering this today.

I hope it can help in some way.

Avic amare a santum

Nea

Nea
@nea
06/14/12 11:59:49AM
201 posts



Wow, man, your enthusiasm makes me smile. Just what I needed right now. :D Thanks.

I've hard time finding people that I feel similar to, beside my family I guess, so I I'd have to start there. But we live in different cities so it will be a different experiment. I'll definitely consider that aspect and try to find and incorporate that thinking. ;)

Nea

Nea
@nea
06/14/12 09:46:36AM
201 posts



I think it would be useful if you shared what kind of techniques or paths one should avoid or be careful with. I don't think you have put anyone off. Being ambiguous doesn't really help anyone though to be honest, so it would be good if you would expand on it a little.

I think the kind of posts that you just wrote can either make people not listen at all or make people scared for no reason, neither of which is good. As much as I believe you have invaluable experiences, you should make a decision to share them properly, and not be scared to say 'too much'. Hey you might even learn something helpful. We're all here to help each other out after all. Actually I get the sense that you do want help, although I ofcourse could be wrong.

Either way, I encourage you to share what could help others.

Peace be with you, Greg.

Nea

Nea
@nea
06/14/12 08:15:28AM
201 posts



I think perhaps there are as many shields as there are people, basically, in that you can't judge all shields on one shield, so to speak. I think that you are right that knowledge and understanding oneself is so much a big part of why shield control works - just comparing with me, on a really bad day, shielding won't just work, because I don't understand myself or what is happening around me. And all that is coupled with tons of other factors. A thing like how much I've slept can really ruin my shielding technique, because I basically don't have a good understanding of how to control it - I just have faith my brain will get what I am trying to do with my visualization. Does any of this make sense? :)

Nea
@nea
06/14/12 08:00:58AM
201 posts



Shields are essentially us using visualization to get our brain to do what we want it to. We all do it differently. I was just posting some of my experiences. :)

Stones affects our energy, but I think have control of our energy too, so we affect how stones affect us, if that makes sense.

Nea
@nea
06/13/12 01:29:20PM
201 posts



I think shielding probably could distance us from the world, but it doesn't have to. There are different kind of shielding - for instance if one learn to filter, one can let things in that one otherwise wouldn't be able to. Also, I think we all have some sort of autonomous shielding that isn't correct and that is uncontrolled - for me, that means that my body can go from full shielding to none in seconds - and I have no control over it. Shielding is also incredibly tiring when done wrong or is uncontrolled. I suspect that it is a good thing to learn to control shielding and filtering to be able to do and be what you want and who you are. Since I've started shielding (although I'm bad at it) and wearing stones for shielding, I've come out of my shell a bit and feel much more confident and myself. Sure, some of it is getting to know myself, but I wouldn't have done it so much I don't think if I hadn't started trying to shield actively. I'm not an expert, but this is my 50 cent.

In short one doesn't have to block out everything when shielding, it's just about being in control of yourself and what you allow to impact you and how you impact others.
Temet nosce and all that.

Nea

Nea
@nea
06/03/12 08:57:57AM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

Good to know there might be something that will help. :) And I like reading.

Nea
@nea
06/03/12 08:57:24AM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

I will try. :)

Nea
@nea
06/02/12 04:40:59PM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

Honestly, I try, and I am a very analytical person. :P It just seems like 'me' is buried somewhere deep and it will take a while for me to get there, and I don't really know how, you know?

Nea
@nea
05/30/12 11:01:43AM
201 posts

An inspirational Person Gallery - because we just need it sometimes


Empath

I admit I can get a rush like feeling from watching someone really inspirational and sometimes I just need it so badly. It can be an author I like, or a singer or even someone unknown that just affects you - or it can be a moment or a piece of art, anything. We're all connected, and sometimes we have a deep need for showing respect and love for that fact. I'll add my contribution below, and you guys can add your Inspirational people or things to the thread. Celebrate our connectedness with love and respect. :) <3

Nea

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My latest found inspiration is:

Lorine Zineb Noka Talhaoui - aka Loreen is a Swedish singer, with moroccan berber descent, that just won the eurovision song contest. Her calm energy and powerful singing combined with her loving nature inspires me very much. I feel like this woman could move mountains if she wanted to - or we all together, as she would say. :) Below is an interview, and two singing performances. Maybe it can help lift your day. <3


updated by @nea: 01/13/17 02:16:18AM
Nea
@nea
05/29/12 12:55:46PM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

Yeah, good point.

Nea
@nea
05/29/12 12:29:23PM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

Thanks for posting, it's good to know I'm not alone in the experience of trying to understand other people, in that sense.

I think my imagination is both a good thing, but also a challenge, because it's part of why I have trouble trusting my instincts, and for good reason. But I think it's a great insight you have there.

Nea
@nea
05/29/12 09:11:11AM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

Kari, you are right, I have been aware for a while now that I need to get in tune with what is me and my own feelings, but since I am lousy at meditating (although I probably will get better at it), and I don't really know what to look or even start looking, I think books might help me on the way tbh. Being aware of your own emotions is really hard when everything is just a confusing jumble of energy and unknown language. I need to get my bearings, just to be able to tell what is what, so I can be aware of my own emotions.

Thank you though for your post. :)

Deborah, my own inability to describe my inner world might be because of confusion, but I can relate to what you are saying somehow, and I feel as if these books might give me at least ideas what to do about it. Thanks for your posts, too. <3

Nea

Nea
@nea
05/28/12 01:39:42PM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

Thanks, I appreciate it. I will be mindful of it. :) <3

Nea
@nea
05/28/12 01:23:58PM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

What could it trigger?

Nea
@nea
05/28/12 11:07:21AM
201 posts



I'm not so much like that with physical pain - but I definitely get affected when watching psychological pain and torture - I can sometimes feel like I am literally going insane myself - so I stay clear from certain thrillers and psychological horror, because it affects me so much. I think that I would probably learn to shield if I watched more of them, which I have with for instance watching violence. But it depends on how the movie is made and what the story is, as with everything, I guess.

I think you probably became very vulnerable and wasn't able to shield.

So yes, for me it's the psychological aspect of horror that affects me, not the violence per se, but what the intent is. Sometimes I can feel the intent of the movie maker even, and a feeling of what the intent of the script is - and it's not a nice feeling.

I also hate watching catastrophe movies - they make me very uncomfortable, and I can't enjoy that kind of suspense, it seems so...horribly wasteful and depressing, and I feel like crying and just mourning.


updated by @nea: 02/15/17 04:48:46PM
Nea
@nea
05/28/12 11:03:08AM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

Sounds interesting - I now have 3 books I'm gonna check out. :)

Nea
@nea
05/26/12 04:09:40PM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

Can you elaborate?

Nea
@nea
05/26/12 09:09:31AM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

Thanks! I will definitely check it out - it sounds interesting.

Nea
@nea
05/25/12 12:52:34PM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

That's a great idea - I will try it. :)

Nea
@nea
05/23/12 06:53:09PM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

Yeah, but with the situation with the guy, I don't really know if I am projecting or not - I can't tell. I simply can't tell. And that freaks me out sometimes, if I really think about it. I know I am probably over analyzing, but what do you do, when everything is so confusing. I am very sensitive also, and I think I've learned to shut things down over the years. I hardly ever show any upsetting emotions to anyone else anymore. Lately I have started to do it a bit, purely out of selfishness, but I still have trouble letting things out, at least in public, even to my mom. I wonder if I'm emotionally impaired, that I'm intuitively shielding in some way that isn't helping my situation. Problem is, as with most of these things, I really can't tell, you know?

Nea
@nea
05/23/12 08:37:11AM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

Thank you! Yes, it helps alot. I guess it's like writing a map or having some sort of point of reference. But it's hard because I don't talk about emotions with other people much - not in that way.

I think the hardest thing about thinking it's all in my head is that I do have a very active imagination, and what I imagine do seem very real, as if I am experiencing it. The same thing that makes reading a book so enjoyable, also confuses the heck out of me. Example: I was playing a game online, and this guy was trying to 'add me' and I ignored him, because I don't add random people, and I said so. I kept feeling this aggressiveness from him, and I thought it was because he was angry or something, and I even asked why he was angry, but he denied it and said he only wanted to 'add me' and soon left after that. Part of me wonders if I'm just imagining it, or even projecting my own fear of angering someone onto the situation - but why would I do that? I can't tell if it would add up or not.

I realize emotions are complicated, especially to 'read', though. Would this analogy fit: that it's like trying to read several layers of text written on transparent paper that lies on top of each other - the words are all scrambled.

Nea
@nea
05/22/12 04:46:21PM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

Thanks for your 'ramblings' - I will check out the book. :)

Also, I think I too sometimes are confusing thoughts and feelings.

Nea
@nea
05/22/12 04:25:02PM
201 posts

unable to describe


Empath

Since I became aware of the concept of Empathy, I naturally have started to analyze what I feel and sense around me, and it has struck me that even though I have a keen sense of who is feeling lots of emotions around me, and I sense so much in general, my understanding of what I am sensing is limited somehow. It's hard for me to explain.

I can sense someone's energy, and I can recall the 'imprint' later and reproduce it perfectly in my mind, how they felt and what how made me feel inside. But I can't put words on it. It's frustrating because I know I need to write things down to learn about myself, and especially to get to know my feelings, but I don't know what the words are. Most of the time all I can describe what I feel is 'lots of emotions', with no specifics.

It's not very helpful, needless to say. Could my impairment mean I haven't actually learned what these emotions are? I thought I had a keen sense about what emotions are, I mean I know what sad, happy, angry etc. all are. Right? At times, everything feel like a blur, to the point where I question if I am an Empath at all. What is the point of feeling overwhelmed if I can't distinguish my own 'blur' from another's, if I can't describe it with words?

Sometimes it does seem like I have a clue what is going on, but I don't know how I do it. I think I'm a natural shielder, but I can't tell if I have any control over it or not. I feel like a 5 year old trying to drive a car.

What do you guys think, do I need to learn about emotions, or do you have any idea what is going on?


updated by @nea: 05/08/17 12:00:54PM
Nea
@nea
04/28/12 01:59:10PM
201 posts

Inner conflict - warning- intense emotions


Empath

Your input is much appreciated!

I guess what part of what I am seeking is a theological standpoint that correlates better with my changed world view. It should be simple - because, as you say God wants me to love him and trust him - but to me, the theological question of what the right thing to do, actively, when learning to cope with this side I haven't acknowledged before, feels like a stumbling block. Or at least it's an obstacle. I can't get around it, I can't move it, and ignoring it gets me nowhere. In short, to go forward with my Empathy, I need to face the conflict it has aroused and try to understand what it does to me.

Because I don't think I'll be able to get at a similar place where you are now, without dealing with it. I know, this probably sounds like a very superfluous philosophical issue, but I am scaring myself to the point where I am questioning my own sanity. It's not so much about getting answers, as asking the right questions. Is 'where do I draw the line' a relevant question? I have no clue. Do I just wait for God? Do I stop all use of stones, don't shield or ground, or what? I don't know.

Nea

Nea
@nea
04/24/12 02:33:00PM
201 posts

Inner conflict - warning- intense emotions


Empath

I guess what I am wondering is how much one should get into learning to 'control' or 'limit' Empathy. I am in many ways an 'impaired' Empath - I do shielding, but many times I get surprised and overwhelmed - and I have done a sort of grounding for years, even before I knew what Empathy was.

I just don't know it I just should learn to live with how it is now, or try to learn about it more and get better at shielding and stuff.

For me, I don't even know what it means to 'take advantage' of my gift, or even where I end and others begin!

I am a major skeptic and I don't easily trust my own instincts, but if I were to, I'd say that I sense energy on another scale, more than just emotions, and everything is just jumbled up in a giant weight on me and around me. I've been miserable my entire life, and I didn't know why, and since I started actively shielding and grounding and using stones, I feel like another person, like I learn to know ME. If that makes sense.

So I need to know where the line is. Generally I have taken the stance that God leads me and anything that doesn't feel right isn't. But I think I am working through a phase of doubt in myself, and in my faith, and as I decide to trust God even more, I need to work things out in a more theological way.

It really helps to remind oneself that God is in control, and that he leads even where we don't notice, but my mind have trouble letting go of this issue I have.

This place is the only one where I feel I can get the support and feedback I need. Hope I am making sense. :)

Nea

Nea
@nea
04/21/12 02:41:54PM
201 posts

Inner conflict - warning- intense emotions


Empath

Gah, I wrote a long reply, but then my browser failed me, and it got lost... :(

Thank you Rebecca, for your post, it helps alot.

Basically what I got from it is that I think I need to let go of control (that I really don't have anyway), and be patient with myself - because God is the one in control, and I am His completely. Also, it's not that I feel 'pushed' as much as I feel an urgency, like there is something I need to do or pay attention to. It kind of reminds me of when I felt I just had to mention a bible verse in youth group (have you ever felt like that?).

Can I ask you, what is your take on how one should go about learning to control Empathy? What do you think about using stones?

It's so disheartening when the big post you wrote just disappears. Now I'm tired.

Anyway, thanks again - sometimes all you need is a brother or sister in Christ with a clear perspective. One can get so wrapped up in things. I haven't figured things out, that's for sure, but I know I want to rest in God's promises. :)

Nea

Nea
@nea
04/21/12 06:36:39AM
201 posts

Inner conflict - warning- intense emotions


Empath

I think I need some input on something, and this is the only place I know that can remotely understand what I am going through.

From everything I've been feeling and going through the past months, I've realized that there is an unresolved conflict going on within me that is starting to feel dangerous for my health. I am feeling increasingly depressed, conflicted and confused. I know God loves me and that I don't need to be afraid, and at a deep level this is what is keeping me, I think. God has shown me he's always with me. But I feel like I am being pulled and pushed towards something I don't know what. I hasn't really come anywhere with learning to control my Empathy this past months, I think because I don't know if I should learn to control it, if it is not God's will or not. This is the conflict that I have realized I have inside - despite other parts of me believing that God gave it to me as a gift, just like He is the greatest Empath. Maybe it's the fact that I feel, and have experienced, other gifts that I am pretty much scared witless of (and at some point am not scared of them, which scares me more?). I have just had sneak peeks, so to speak. I know that as long as I don't actively go after those 'gifts', it's in God's hands, and safely so. But the conflict in me seems to stem from the fact that I don't know where the line is, or if there even is a clear one (which is scary in itself), and I am afraid of moving in any direction at all. That would be fine I guess, with trusting God, but now I am constantly stressed and conflicted and feel like God wants me to go in faith, and I can partly recognize the pull - it's like one of those instances where you ask God if something is from him, and you can't NOT do it because of that. I hope I am making sense here.

Anyway, I am scared that it's just my flesh talking, and it's not from God. Also, I'm not even sure what the message is! Basically there is so much going on inside me, I don't even know how to explain it - I haven't even scratched the surface in this post.

Any prayers and feedback is greatly appreciated.

Nea


updated by @nea: 02/22/17 08:35:35PM
Nea
@nea
03/15/12 11:08:25AM
201 posts

New EFT coaching video: Trust!


Empath

Wow, I usually don't like coaching videos, but your voice is so soothing and calming, Elise. I like that it's a simple and to the point video, very well done. :)

Nea

Nea
@nea
02/11/12 06:11:30PM
201 posts



Well, maybe it depends on the circumstances, I don't know. It's hard to compare situations. I wonder though, if my assumption that training would have made the situation worse is actually deceptive. In that particular situation, it might have made things worse, but in others it might help.

Nea
@nea
02/11/12 01:23:23PM
201 posts



I dunno, I think part of it is that I felt like I could do anything, I don't remember feeling fear or anger. If I had any of those emotions, the awareness of them came afterwards. It's really hard to explain. I think it's true that it was because I HAD to act, and not just for my own safety. I think that the feeling of being able to do anything was on some level pleasant, because acting was a necessity, but I don't think 'enjoying' is the right word. I definitely did not enjoy it. Keeping in mind that I really didn't have much force behind any action. Fight was the first response, but when that didn't work, I changed tactics to a combined fight & flight response. But I think you're right that there was a feeling of lines being crossed from others that lead to me acting.

Nea
@nea
02/11/12 12:36:47PM
201 posts



I know what you mean about happy adrenaline - I get that when I for instance is having an intellectual discussion or a meaningful conversation with someone. It's like I get high. LOL.

The bad side of course, is when I get a reaction from high noises or people yelling. Especially, because I can sense people's emotions in my own body, drama can be very traumatic for me. I can feel adrenaline rush through my body in those situations.

On a more serious note - I do have been in a real fight/flight situation, and it can't really be explained so that someone that haven't would understand, if you know what I mean. I am actually happy that I hadn't any training when it happened, because of what I might have done in that case. I know of my own strength, and I guess I am in a way grateful for it, but I never want to experience it again, because I don't like the person I became. Not sure if I am making sense - guess we're both rambling. :)

Nea

Nea
@nea
02/11/12 06:06:02AM
201 posts

Not enjoying people contact...


Empath

I can feel like that at times, even when I'm not touched! It's like the energy of some people just leave me feeling horrible. I think it's because I take on some of their energy, or emphatically copy it or something. What has worked for me is stopping, breathing, and do a shielding exercise - letting all the negativity just drain off you and then shield with positive thoughts. It requires some practice to make perfect, but you will feel better. Carrying stones are good too. Figure out what works best for you. :)

Nea

Nea
@nea
02/11/12 05:59:11AM
201 posts



Interesting!

I've always felt drawn to martial arts myself, but I've never had the money to actually go learn it - also I've had some issues with self esteem that has stopped me. But I think I'm partly drawn to it because I at some level feel I would benefit from the required discipline. I guess when the world feels like it is literally weighing you down into the ground, and you're constantly distracted - especially if one is an unbalanced Empath - that kind of discipline and physical ability seems helpful. Learning about yourself here, is like redefining your view on reality. It takes some work, for sure.

Personally I am still learning to accept myself - I almost feel like a split personality at times, because I both intellectually and emotionally am struggling with the concept - am I an Empath or not? Funnily enough I don't have a problem with accepting that there is such a thing as Empaths - and the reason for this is my own experience of other peoples emotions. But the concept of me being an Empath is not as easy to accept, and it's partly because people around me wouldn't accept it that as a concept. I know, it doesn't make sense. LOL.

Anyway, now I am just rambling, welcome to EC! :D

Nea
@nea
01/13/12 03:47:46PM
201 posts



A character in the series actually calls Peter an Empath. It's the invisible older guy, I don't remember his name, but he definitely calls Peter an Empath. Ep. 8 of season 1 I think.

I do copy people, emotions and personality - don't know about skills or such but it's a possibility.

Nea
@nea
01/11/12 04:38:41PM
201 posts



Personally I like to wear stones - I have this obsidian bracelet that I use almost all the time - partly because it works better then when I am actively shielding (I get really tired if I shield too much), and partly because stones filter energy in a natural way that isn't too intrusive. But I do realize that stones are just crutches in a way. One do has to learn to 'face' all the information that is thrown ones way without having to use stones all the time. I think there is a big difference how you shield - you can shut down all outside input or you can filter it, just like the stones are doing, but more effective.

I think learning to find yourself and following your instinct is a big part of it. I read some 'expert' that advocated that you shut everything off and then learn to 'read', but that sounds so wrong somehow, like you're shutting down who you are, plus I'm not sure the person really understands what Empathy is all about. But hey, who knows.

Point being though, ones own instincts tells alot what and how you should do something, and I think what we need to do is learn what our thing is. Kind of because I am sort of lazy, I don't put alot of work into shielding, and I've noticed that even though I have to learn more about it, and how to shield more effective, I instinctively are lightly shielding myself, kind of like I'm filtering. Sometimes I do need to put some more work into it - especially at work where there are thousands of people in the vicinity. I can sometimes feel strong 'jolts' of energy from someone going past where I sit, and I turn around, like 'what was that?'.

I think it depends what you are doing, what kind of shielding you need to do - I think you can learn to shield intuitively, or filter, whatever is most comfortable. I think it's good to learn different techniques that you can pull out - some situations you'd want to completely shield, because of the strong negativity coming at you. But most times though, just lightly shielding or filtering would be enough. I see it as your minds way of coping with the input from the world around you - shielding is visualization tool and it changes from individual to individual.

As for shielding too much - there is something that happens to me when I spend too much time in a certain group of people or for instance in a mall or midtown - I become fatigued and 'numb', like when you hit your thumb and it feels overwhelming, you know? That's how I feel on an emotional level, and into my body, when I have spent an afternoon shopping. Needless to say - I'd need to learn to filter or shield in order not to become a flailing heap of numbness in that situation.

I do get 'over charged' in big crowds, which I think is why I get numb. All energy, good and bad, are just poured into me, and in the end I sort of either shut down or just feel like everything is crushing me. Longer bus trips can make me tired to the point where I'm on the verge of crying - especially if something is added into the mix that I am sensitive emotionally about. Hmm. Now I'm just rambling, sorry.

Nea

Nea
@nea
01/10/12 03:27:51PM
201 posts



Hi and welcome!

Check out the Empath Survival program on this site - it explains it all and has some very helpful tips.

Alot of us are sort of trying to figure it out together, so hang around. :)

Nea


updated by @nea: 01/13/17 02:15:16AM
Nea
@nea
01/05/12 10:32:31AM
201 posts

Actor Will Smith says Jaden is an Empath


Empath

Aww, that's great he has parents that recognize it and help him.

Nea
@nea
12/11/11 11:59:51AM
201 posts



Every day, sister, every day...

Both logically and intuitively I doubt myself so much. I also both logically and intuitively know I am an Empath. It's both a factor of having my world view changed, and also simultaneously confirmed. I've always had this notion about myself that I am nobody and that I am one of a kind, but I suppress the latter, because of how I was raised (middle child in a family of 7). On some level I refuse to let my perceived wish to make myself somebody 'distort' my already established world view. On another level I have always been, and have worked hard to become, a person that have an open mind and challenge myself. I know I've always seen and felt things about people that I knew (but didn't accept) wasn't available to others. I on one hand know the vulnerability of being human, but I also know the inherent strength in being human. I can control neither state. In short - life is complicated.

What I do realize is that there is no logical reason to doubt myself or what I feel about someone else based on what they are telling me - or even if they are fine or not in general. People are complicated in general, and emotionally in particular. What someone goes through is not just about how they feel, but how they cope with the feeling, their strategy, their goal etc.

What we can do, is offer support, an outlet, some advice maybe, if people around us want it. We can't control people, most of us can't read minds, and even if we sometimes see a possible future, we can't really know what is best or even what is possible. Our lesson is not one of power, but of humility and seeing beyond our own lives and involvement. It is a great gift but also a curse, in that unless we're guided, we walk around blindly in a dark room with strangers. Nonetheless, the gift outweighs the curse, because in seeing others, we can learn to see ourselves.

I know all this, and I still doubt myself. Half the time I recognize the possibility that I am utterly insane. But if that's true, then I've been insane all my life - then I cannot really trust anything. We have to trust something. Even the most critical scientist have to trust something. Us, we're just taking a few leaps more, because we have to. Personally I am determined to do the best of the situation, so I can live in this world, insane or not.

Whoops, didn't meant to write that long. Hope that helps a bit. ;)

Nea


updated by @nea: 12/19/16 04:56:10PM
Nea
@nea
12/05/11 04:28:46PM
201 posts

Indigo, Crystal, and Starseed People


Library of Light

That list feels like someone took a walk in my head taking notes. I haven't had any troubles with electrical equipment that I know of, and I don't have an diagnosis (although I think I have actually masked many of the 'symptoms' by acting 'stupid' and wide eyed), but other wise I can sign off on all these traits in one form or another. Most of these things seem pretty vague, but somehow they are not vague to me, if that makes sense. I can feel that much of these traits I have chosen, or had, to mask or disguise in certain ways. Since I was born 1980, I feel sort of protective of younger people that are different like me, and I feel a strong urge to 'show the way' in any way possible. It's an absurd thing in some ways, because I feel lost in so many ways.

I'm not much for labels, and I'm not sure I am actually an Indigo, but to know there are others that are clearly like me in so many ways is really enough for me, it's so freakin' relieving.

Nea
@nea
12/03/11 04:03:09PM
201 posts



but I cannot imagine (what I see so many people doing) putting up with someone less than amazing just to be in a relationship

This! Exactly this is how I feel. Relationships all seems so overrated to me. Also, partly I don't really see how I even could or would matter to the persons I would want to have a relationship with.

Nea
@nea
12/02/11 11:08:52AM
201 posts



I've never even had a date. I know that makes me a freak, but I've never found anyone interesting enough, and I'm not particularly bothered by it. I've come to terms with the fact that I won't live what's considered the 'normal' life. I love people to death, and I love connecting intellectually and sometimes (but rarely) even emotionally, but afterwards I just want to go and be by myself and hear myself think. While I still lived at my parents, I had a hard time sleeping when the freakin cat wanted to sleep in my bed LOL. If I'd ever have a relationship, it will have to be on a level that I don't think is possible. Partly I think it's because I can 'see right through' people. I remember doing that as a kid even. While the other girls in my school would swoon over cute boys, I'd just feel their insecurities. Although I didn't know that was what I was sensing. Weird how I have to reconsider my views on my own freakin childhood. LOL

Nea
@nea
11/23/11 01:46:26PM
201 posts



Thanks Megan! I'll check it out.

Nea
@nea
11/23/11 01:41:56PM
201 posts

The pain of making a new friend


Empath

Man, I'm so there with you. It's such a relief to hear there are more people experiencing this. Facebook is such a horrifying thing to me - for some reason the whole superficial friend thing give me the creeps. A person I know from uni wanted to friend me on fb and I ignored it because I know she's not really interested in being my friend.

The only reason I joined fb at all was because my sister was on it, and she's on the other side of the world.

Fb makes me sad, because there is so much sadness displayed there. Also, the thought of not even being able to connect with family members (!) on freakin facebook, makes me nauseous. Man, I get so tired of people sometimes.

Nea
@nea
11/22/11 05:26:54PM
201 posts



Forget a class for the non-empaths, I want a class for me! Can someone please write a book called "Interpretation for Empaths" or some such, LOL.

I have never told anyone but my lil sister, and I am almost regretting I did. It's starting to be the hot milk we walk like cats around, if you know what I mean.

I think I'd have a break down if I told someone and they asked me why or how - I don't freakin know, and I'm not even sure about anything...

Maybe one day I'll be able to discuss it, but I'm not ready to do so now.


updated by @nea: 12/12/16 07:09:49PM
Nea
@nea
11/18/11 01:35:42PM
201 posts

The pain of making a new friend


Empath

What I do is, I keep it civil, I be the best friend I can be, and I've been struggling with a feeling of not belonging since I was a child - like people don't really see me. I can feel close to almost anyone, but I hold back, because I know I don't have a chance of getting really close. I mean, not really. If I push it I can hang out, have nice conversations - they talk and talk about their life. But I whenever I have shared, everything goes to sh*t. Do I love too easily and too deep? It's so freaking painful. So I hold back, not letting any hopes get in. I still am friendly with everyone, and I am not afraid to feel the pain of love and friendship towards someone. But I know that's all it's gonna be. I'll never be that person that has friends over or that calls someone whenever I feel down. I have noone to call, and I never had. I don't know why, and probably never will. If I really dug into it, the whys would just pile up. I don't want to get into that, because it would make me crazy. I too, have had that feeling, many times, that people are just uncomfortable around me. Like I am too intense or something. I am getting better and looking beyond it, but man, it can be so confusing. I'm trying to force myself to impose on people a little, because my sense of imposing isn't really. I'm not sure how to explain, but I've had some success with that. I know it won't lead as far as I want, but at least I don't feel like a freak anymore.

The best experiences 'connecting' with people as a friend has been in chats over the internet - maybe I don't come off as intense, or maybe I don't fear I do, but it works.

Problem is, it's like I can see right through people. And I know, if I let myself, I'd love every single one of them. But love is painful this way, so I try not to. At some level I do anyway.

At any sign of rejection, I tend to run away. I don't want to feel that pain. It's completely soul wrecking.

I'm adopting more and more humor in contact with others - it helps alot I've noticed. I joke about myself, I joke about them. It's the closest thing I've come to painlessness. We should all become comedians. :)

People are so complex - like with their emotions, we don't see all of them at once - we see what sticks out, we feel what's the strongest, or near the surface - it take time to see beyond all that, to really know someone. Even if we can sense what they are right away, we rarely know all of it right away. Me, I am doubting myself too, and I'm not even sure who I am. I think the key here is knowing oneself better. And not take oneself too seriously when trying to connect.

Am I making sense?

This is really the only place that has ever made me feel like I'm not a freak. And even here, I am doing the same thing. It's nobody's fault. It's just who I am, and I am trying to think of a joke, LOL. (Sorry for my crazy energy, I am going through a rough patch.)

Anyway, that's for sharing your experiences, It's great that we all can know we're not alone in this 'loneliness' or whatever one should call it.

Hugs

Nea

Nea
@nea
10/29/11 09:29:55AM
201 posts



To me it simply means that God wants us to tell him our thoughts and feelings and ideas, even if we know too, that he knows best. He is interested in us, because he want to be close to us - or rather, he wants us to be close to him. Just like Jesus says we should ask God of anything, and to have faith, that he has counted the hairs on our heads. Also, I don't remember which letter in the new testament, but it says somewhere that we should cry out to God and tell him our innermost thoughts, because it pleases him. I'm paraphrasing. God is not just our creator - he is our family. Sometimes we need to remember that. <3

Nea


updated by @nea: 11/15/16 10:09:20AM
Nea
@nea
10/20/11 02:25:05PM
201 posts



Well it's tricky. I went looking for an answer because I thought I was going insane. I can't even remember how it started, but it had been in the periphery of my mind for some time, but I had always dismissed it as imagination. When I really had to find out what it meant, I was like "Ohhh...". But it really came from a place of desperation, where I felt such distress that just didn't make sense - I remember thinking "There is no reason for me to feel like this, not this strongly". Then I went looking for something to help, and I learned about grounding and grounded consciously for the first time in my life. I remember feeling such relief, like I could breathe. The bad situation that had effected me was still there, but I was only worrying with my mind and the emotional energy was gone, only my own worry about it was there, I think. Looking back I think I carried another person's bad feelings about it.

Do I accept it? Not really. My mind tells me that I was just projecting those emotions on that person, imagining it, and imagining it so highly that I almost went insane. My intuition tells me, no screams, that I felt her emotions, but my intellect screams back that it is impossible.

Right now I am accepting I am an Empath 'until further notice' with a big escape clause attached to it. I know this is how I work - I work through things intensely and completely with no excuses. I question and question things until they are gone - or they survived. Man, I certainly know I'm messed up. LOL.

Also, that part of me that accepts it went "Well, that explains it. Hehe. " :D (Gah, I'm so seriously messed up)

Nea

Nea
@nea
10/06/11 06:14:02PM
201 posts

Dream about healing - what does it mean?


Healers

Hello James,

About my hands - I was sort of 'giving' energy or a part of myself to them with my hands. Don't know if that counts as 'soft' but I guess it would.

I don't know if I agree with your interpretation, but it's very interesting, so thank you for your reply! :)

Nea

Nea
@nea
09/30/11 12:03:00PM
201 posts

Chat Decision


Empath

I thought they explained it very well in their announcement post. It does get a bit out of hand in the chat sometimes, and one needs to be able to keep a nice tone in there. :)
 
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