emotionally numb empaths
Yes, it's what is called an empath pattern, where you for some reason take on another person's energy as a pattern. Then you have to release the pattern itself, also you have to work on noticing when you take on the energy and consciously release it when that happens. It's completely normal to have patterns like this, and since you're taking on so much, you probably don't have much energy boundaries at all.
I could walk you through a better way of releasing the energy, but it takes a bit more than just one post to do, so I'm not sure if it's a good idea. With some practice, you can learn to distinguish between what is yours and others, and actively choose to release the energy and return it to where it came from. The idea is to first notice what isn't yours, and be very specific with how it feels,the texture if you will, and move it out of your body at the edge of your energy field, then return it. There are more steps to it, but it literally took months for me to learn it, so even if I tried to tell you what to do in a couple of sentences, it probably wouln't make sense to you the way I would describe it. However I think all empaths already know how to do this intuitively, it's just easier when someone shows you what to do.
Feeling numb most likely comes from emotional overload. It might seem like you're not feeling anything, but that's usually not the case - you're most likely feeling and taking on too much at once.
My advice is 1. start moving - take a walk, exercise, do something creative that moves your body and mind. It will help you balance your energy and help with grounding. 2. When we feel numb it's usually because what we're feeling is so painful, that we're mentally retreating from it. That's not helpful - the fastest and most helpful way of dealing with overload is 'feeling through' the emotions. If the overload was a fire, you'd go right into it, instead of shying away from it. Start with recognizing any sensations, anything at all, and concentrate on it, feel it, and then let it go. As you do that, you'll start to uncover more and more sensations and feelings until you've undone your overload. Make sure you're grounded and then go for it. As an empath you have the ability to just as easily let the energy go as you take it on.
I'm sure there are alot of places you can learn this skill - personally I can recommend https://thehappysensitive.com/
The way Caroline teaches really resonated with me, but but as she will really take the time to guide you through it, and because it's quite a commitment for her, it does cost a bit. I would advice that you take a look around and find a place or a person that resonates with you that you feel will be able to teach you what you need.
You mentioned using stones, and I've had some nice experience with them, but they're not that effective for large amounts of energy, they've mostly help me focus like an energetic map of sorts. Stones can make you feel really dizzy or out of sorts if you're not aligned or not used to them. I feel stones alot more the first time I have them around, and then I'll either get used to them more or I won't and then I'll have to decide if I want to work on finding out why that is or I can take a break from them. I love using the obsidian and amethyst combination.
About shielding - I use shielding as a tool on top of my other skills, as it doesn't really help with the core energy management problems. I would recommend, when you're ready, to start looking for guidance in more deeper energy skills.
I'm sure there are more than one technique of returning energy, but the one I've learned is simple but requires some dedication and time. It essentially means learning to manipulate and understand your own energy and the difference between your own energy and others. There are several steps to learning this technique, and it took me a couple of months, meaning I had a teacher that walked me through every step I needed to learn. It was quite life changing, and was the right thing for me.
Hi In my experience, shielding can never get very efficient. It's good for short period of times, and then just visualizing is the best - sometimes combined with a stone like obsidian or amethyst (great combination). But as a long term strategy, it just doesn't work very well.
Instead I'd suggest learning an energy management skill that helps you have control over what energy you keep in your body/energy field. I use shielding on top of my other skills, but it's not very good on it's own. The bit where you feel flustered and confused, almost like you're floating is because you take on too much of other people's energy and you have no technique for 'returning' that energy. Understanding other people through empathy is great, but if you keep absorbing everything it gets harder to distinguish from who you're getting what and your own self start getting lost. Simple shielding is not going to do the trick.
We absorb other people's energy which contains all kinds of things. What we absorb depends on what you as a person is attracted to and subconsciously 'want' to take on. I'm not actually sure if people really miss the energy we absorb, but it's not that good to carry along all those things that aren't ours to begin with. There are techniques to learn that helps you return the energy you have absorbed. Even if you want to learn other techniques where you want to do something with the energy you have absorbed, any basic skill would have to include 'returning' the energy so you have that option and don't carry around things you don't want to carry around.
Much love & light
My advice to you is to broaden your horizons a little bit. You're still quite young and everything is still very intense and confusing. It's alright to feel so much and be confused. I am still confused half the time, but I think the trick is to accept that you won't have the answers, and that you might never get as much answers as maybe you'd like. The thing with this life is that nobody can tell you what to think or what to do - all the things you worry about are things you have to figure out for yourself. Alot of people can give you advice and guidance, but ultimately it's your journey, and it's only you that can know what is right for you. If you only listen to what other people say all the time, and do what they tell you, and even more importantly if your happiness is relying on another person, then you won't find your own path and your own wonderful strength and wisdom.
In truth; start listening to your own inner voice, and make your own choices in life. Surprise yourself. Read some books that is different from what you usually read, watch a movie that you wouldn't have watched. Study a subject or read an article that has a completely different view point than yours. Challenge yourself intellectually and emotionally.
But this is just my suggestion, maybe there's something else you should be doing - the point is that you are already strong and wise enough to guide yourself.
Much love & light
Thank you for sharing!
I can relate to alot of what you wrote, even though my journey has also been wildly different. But having to work on myself to stay sane, and to have my view of the world and myself challenged on a daily basis is something I recognize. My journey to self awareness started when I started to wonder if I was an Empath. Now years later I'm really starting to understand myself and the world, but at the same time, there is so much I don't understand. I definitely can relate to being so tired of being afraid, that you simply say enough is enough, and refuse to be afraid anymore.
I think once you've cleared alot of energy, and as you get better at it, you will start to understand what 'you' are underneath all that you've picked up that isn't yours. I've just started to figure all this out, but I definitely feel who I am more, and that I try not to be so enmeshed or feel dependent on others. I've definitely felt caught up, sometimes even imprisoned, in other people's energy.
The way I've been taught, although I'm sure there are many ways to do this, is that it's a conversation you're having with your own body, because the body knows what is going on - in essence it's about learning to listen to your subconscious and intuition.
I read people alot, and I think the problem is that it is quite automatic, which really doesn't paint the whole picture, and it's blended in with alot of other information, feelings and even prejudices of that person. I'm just starting to try to understand that part of me that does read people that way, and I don't really have all the answers. What I do know is that I need to trust my instincts, but in an open, non-judgmental and cautious way that is built on love and not fear. Now that I've started to get a handle on the energy I pick up from others, I can eventually start to learn more about how I read people and what happens in that noggin of mine.
It's also possible you're sensing a person's view of themselves, and you need to see beyond the obvious and feel their soul.
What is important to remember is that you don't have to feel them or know them, and that you don't owe them anything. What I do in situations like this is taking note on how the encounter makes me feel and don't judge what I feel or sense in any way. What you sense or feel doesn't make you a bad person and it doesn't control how you behave, it just means your human, the details you can figure out if you want to.
In essence, I don't try to judge anyone based on what I'm sensing, but at the same time I listen to what I'm feeling and try not to stay close to anything that will effect me negatively unnecessarily long. After the encounter you can make sure you're not carrying things around that aren't yours.
Sometimes it's really obvious, but mostly I need to work on paying attention to energy changes.
I check in with myself regularly to see if I'm carrying around something that isn't mine though. I think training yourself to pay attention to changes will take learning to listen better, and knowing what my core status is so to speak. Awareness is one of the empath skills that I need to work on the most, I always get distracted by something and forget to check for a personal benchmark. I've been told though that listening is important when training this, even if it feels like you aren't hearing anything.
I usually notice something is wrong, before I understood how linked my inner landscape was to energy, I just thought it was 'all in my head' and I just carried on. But now I know it might not be all me, so I can check if I can let it go, and also that whatever I am going through is a teaching moment waiting to happen so I should at least stop and listen to my mind and body.
@sashaw Yes, from what I've gleaned, since empaths spend alot of time getting tangled up in other people's energy, when you are free from other people's energy for the first time, it's quite something. It's like you're lost in the identities of other people that obfuscate who you really are.
It feels freeing, but also it requires some work to figure out who you are, sometimes it's easier, sometimes it's harder I've found. But it feels great to start on that path.
Understanding yourself is so important. Ofcourse empaths need to work on their whole self, not just the empath part. If there are other parts that need working on, you can't treat it as different things, because the body doesn't differentiate between the systems - it's one whole system. So in my case I needed to learn about being HSP, Empath, and about LLI.
I've gained alot more confidence, and I've started to trust myself and my mind and my instincts more. It's a continual process ofcourse, but it feels like I can be who I really am, whoever that person might be. It's quite exciting to find out.
I'm on the path of learning skills that balances me on a level I never thought possible when I first discovered I was an empath. I haven't mastered those skills completely yet, it will take alot of practice and patience for sure, but I know what to do now and what happens so I don't have to panic or be concerned. These skills cover alot of different levels, from clearing my energy field to removing empath patterns and cords. It has been life changing for sure, and then I have alot to learn still. But I feel like I have space to me myself alot more, which is great. It's like instead of being in the eye of the storm, I am learning to side step it, and be like 'nice storm' oh well. I'm still affected by the storm, but I'm not overwhelmed by it.
You most likely have an empath pattern that keeps the connection alive, and even if you cut cords, you will still share energy with each other. There are ways to get rid of empath patterns, but you both have to agree to do it. Then remove cords - there are many different ways to do that, so you might have to try different techniques to find one that works.
You don't need others to fill your life with meaning. You are important enough. Just because you value yourself equally to others doens't mean you love them less. It just means your love will grow exponentially, and you will love yourself just as much. It's not fair to her to give her that responsibility. You have to take responsibility of your own life.
Much love and good luck
I agree that it is unfortunate that we sometimes have to resort to using medicines because we can't find another way. Sometime the support we get with the medical expertise is the most important part rather then the medication itself. It can be really scary to be sick or need special treatments and help. As some one that only last year stopped using ssri's after 3 years of using them, I think for me it was necessary to go through it, but I always knew it was temporary and that to get better I had to eventually get off them. For me, they were a crutch I needed, because I knew of no other way to get better.
Not to say that I don't love natural remedies and always look for them. I think being careful what we eat and how we live is the most important natural remedy! Even the doctors say that eating and sleeping well and taking care of your stress levels is a big part of getting better. Ofcourse all this varies depending on what kind of physical problem one might have - and knowledge aswell as intuition is important to listen to.
I'm not saying we shouldn't feel negative emotions - but that we should love ourselves even when we do. Even when we do feel fear, we can judge ourselves and breed more fear. It's okay to be afraid. It's okay to fail. I think one of darkness' weapons is to use our fear against us, and make us judge ourselves and not forgive ourselves, so we don't grow. People can end up in a never ending spiral of negativity. Sometimes loving yourself is about accepting that you do everything you can at the moment, and not let fear take away that love.
Question about the dark entities...Can they drain a person and increase their negative emotions? In addition to fatigue and a bad mood, can they create physical pain too? This is how I've been feeling lately.
Also, can they be seen in waking hours? If so, what do they look like or come across as? In addition to sparks of white light, I also see dark sparks in my peripheral vision and was wondering if the dark ones were spirits or dark entities?
All I know is that negativity breeds negativity. I wouldn't focus on what lurks in the darkness, but instead on growing and finding beauty in what you do have. There's so much that can drain us tbh. We have to be extra careful and practice love towards ourselves and everything around us. Love spreads faster than the speed of light. If you spread it around you, nothing else will be able to be close to you. Ofcourse nothing is about it is easy, I struggle on the best days to love myself unconditionally.
I don't know what the darkness can do, and tbh I couldn't care less. It can't do anything unless you feed it. True, sometimes you have to fight, but mostly when you fight, you're fighting yourself. I'm not saying warriors aren't necessary. I'm saying that you better be sure you have to. There were so many nights when I was sweating, terrified under the covers, and all of it was so unnecessary.
I still got a lot to learn, and I believe we sometimes 'hurt' to grow and learn about ourselves. Sometimes fighting is about staying on the path no matter what and trusting in yourself and your own instincts.
My shielding is very intuitive. When I try to be more 'technical' it doesn't feel right - maybe I have to find the right technique. I'm not even sure it's shielding I am doing tbh, but it does seem to work for at least a while. I usually have light imbue me from above my head and from earth at the same time, like beams, and then meeting in my core, it's hard to explain, but they sort of combine and fill out my immediate aura.
I used to have a lot of fear at night, but after I 'woke up' I am not anymore. At the beginning after waking up I visualized pure light enveloping every corner of my apartment, light with pure love. If anything was there, pure loves scares them off so fast it's ridiculous. It's what I've found, that the opposite of negativity is love.
I can't say I know what is out there, I just know it can't touch me for some reason. I can feel the power inside, and it's there if I need it. I remember feel this power even as a little girl, even though I didn't understand at the time.
One time I had a dream which I was attacked in that is similar to what you guys are describing, and I don't know if it was just a dream or something else. But in the dream I fought whatever it was off with a light ball. I found it funny actually, because I said 'kame hame ha' when I did it. haha :D
So yeah, I don't claim any knowledge at all, I just know that fear paves the way for darkness.
It's very plain to me, if I dont't filter, I hurt. So it' easy to remember.
For me, I don't realize what is happening until later when I hurt and basically have anxiety attacks. It's like when you slam your toes into a door, and at first you don't feel anything, and then everything is pain. It's a defense mechanism that I have trouble getting past, this disassociation from reality. If I just could be more aware in the moment, maybe I could do something about it.
That's very interesting. Setting intention is something I've heard about but I'm never sure if I succeed or not. There are many techniques I could try, but I think I need a better awareness first, because I get 'numb' and distracted and forget to do techniques. I have a hard time doing basic stuff like taking a walk every day. Clearing chakras and cleaning cords certainly helps, and I assume I have to keep it up for a while until I get bigger results. But I get the same problem then as anything else I try to do, I get distracted and exhausted and it slips away.
@cbxjohn How do you shield to filter? I'm interested in your shielding technique. I try to train to shield, but I'm not sure I do it right because I rarely feel any difference, and when I do it's only for a little while. I have a problem with being aware aswell, and since I dissociate as a survival mechanism, I don't always notice that I am not shielding anymore and become overloaded. It's not until I get exhausted and feeling like crap that I realize something is going on.
@karen2 I've heard about that in the past, but it didn't do much for me, possible because I didn't actually believe in my ability to do it. It's an issue of mine, my self trust with these things is pretty bad. Although maybe there's a way to do it that I missed.
Yes dissociation is what my therapist calls it, even though she can't understand the reason for it. It's funny how you go your entire life not understanding what is happening to you. I so relate to not being able to concentrate on things aswell. I've always thought I was lazy because I couldn't get things done, mostly because I couldn't concentrate on it because so many things were under my skin as it were. I've felt so completely lost, like there were something wrong with me.
Carrying stones help me, or it used to, but since I've gotten off my ssri's a while ago, it's like I take in even more than I used to. The first weeks off the meds I felt like I was going insane. It's gotten better, but I still need to be more aware, so I can realize what is happening to me in the moment - it's the hardest for me. I can't do anything about it if I am not aware, you know?
I often feel disconnected and ungrounded, like I'm overloaded, which leaves me unaware in the moment so much that sometimes I can't function. I feel like I am floating away, not having any control. I find your theory very interesting, but I honestly don't know where to begin to have control over what I'm 'doing'.
Interesting theory. Would you suggest that maybe we get exhausted because when we try to do what is natural for us? Also do you get tired after a while? I can feel incredibly strong in certain situations, happy and sociable. But later I'll start to feel drained and exhausted afterwards. I wonder if you do aswell?
Yes, I first started to get really sick 3 years ago, I officially quit my job a year later - and now it's been a couple of weeks since I quit my meds. Basically I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere on them, not getting worse and not getting better, and I really need to get better. It's one of those things - you can't stay sick forever or you're just gonna get worse because of a ton of reasons. Not being independent and having a stable income etc. is one of the great sources of depression and anxiety for me. The withdrawal symptoms have all but dissipated at this point. I do think I'll probably feel vulnerable for a while longer, both because I no longer am numbed by the meds, but also because my brain have to adjust to not being on them.
Not knowing what I'm supposed to do with my life is really a big anxiety inducer for me. I'm also not sure what I will be able to do without getting sick again. I'm hyper sensitive and I feel this looming feeling of needing to do something meaningful. The thought of doing a repetitive job makes me sink into a hole of depression and anxiety, and especially thinking about being stuck where I am for the rest of my life.
I'm in therapy, but my therapist have a hard time to grasp and accept how different I am - she always want to explain away or dismiss parts of my experience with the world. I know why it's hard for her, but it's not easy always dealing with her skepticism every session - she doesn't even understand she is doing it, I think.
I definitely need to time to adjust, but I'm not sure how long I've got - I feel like I need to figure out what I'm supposed to do.
Hey everybody, I hope you're having a wonderful day!
I need a bit of advice right now - bear with me this is gonna take a bit of explanation. It was a several years ago that I found out I was an Empath (and found this place), and following that I made strides in grounding and feeling more like 'myself' for the first time in my life. Understanding some of what it going on inside me really helped me in many ways even though i still don't know or understand everything about myself.
About 3 years ago I started to realize that I wasn't feeling well, and in retrospect the hard things I had to go through in the years before I even knew about Empaths really had taken its toll on me, and I was slowly unraveling, or so it felt. I've always had problems with anxiety and depression - I just didn't know that's what it was. But that's a whole other story in itself. Anyway, I wasn't living a meaningful life, and the job I had was basically obliterating my will to live and draining me on every level. I had no energy at all, and I started to get really bad anxiety attacks and depression periods. I soldiered on far too long before getting help. It's funny how that works - you don't realize how bad it is until you literally can't move. But I did get help and I had to quit my job to even start healing at all. That place was way too wrong for me.
It's been about 3 years now, and it's been a slow road, but I finally took the decision to stop taking my medication - mostly because I felt they weren't making anything any better anymore, instead they were holding me back from healing more. It was quite scary but at the same time I've held off for quite some time, and I know it's the right decision.
Now for your advice - it's been about 2 weeks now, and the withdrawal symptoms are going away and I'm starting to feel better. The problem is, it seems these past years of numbing myself - which I know was necessary - has made me take steps back in my empathy skills and I'm suddenly flooded and overwhelmed by the surroundings. It's not as bad as it was before I knew I was an empath, it feels different, and I still have the basics down, but it feels like resolving all the things that needed resolved through my illness have made me more aware and also vulnerable aswell as stronger, if that makes sense.
I wonder if any of you guys have any insight in how I should handle it and how I should know what path to take - it definitely feels like I could get further than I have before. I've learned ALOT about myself these past years and I've come to accept and love myself on a new level. At the same time I'm so frustrated because it's like I suddenly have no clue what I'm supposed to do with my life. I'm sure that's nothing unique, even though we all are.
I hope I'm making sense
I used to be incredibly frightened of being alone in the dark - what helped me was partly a decision to not be afraid anymore, and I started to trust my own instincts while using crystals/stones. IN the beginning for me it was VERY helpful to have stones at hand, because it helped focus my energetic 'strength' and intuition. I sleep with obsidian, amethyst and yellow jasper under my pillow. I'd recommend starting with one stone, obisidian for starters, and see how that effects you. Maybe another kind of stone works better for you, or maybe something else entirely. Now when I am afraid I usually 'sense' the room and visualize a protective energy field around me, fused with pure love, while simply trusting my own feelings. It's been a long time since I've been afraid like that. I hope that helps.
Remember that you are in control of your own home, and being afraid is the worst thing you can be. Fight fear with love, and know that you are not alone.
Love & Light
Sometimes it's incredibly easy to pick up things from public figures, because we're exposed to them alot. But it's good to remember that what we pick up is definitely not the whole story. They are people like everybody else though, and it can be very hard on people to be in the public eye. I get a 'vulnerable' sense of many celebrities, but part of it is definitely that they put themselves out there and/or is put in situations they cannot really control.
Now, I have a much deeper connection with fictional characters than with actual people alot of the time - but that is another story.
I certainly welcome more male Empaths to be more active, because I think all perspectives are needed - for better understanding and for teaching and learning about ourselves. I think we all have a need to discuss and learn with both our own gender and the opposite. Especially since we feel emotions from everyone, no matter the gender.
The way I experience it, when we are ungrounded and unshielded in a group of people, we're like a leaf in the wind, it feels like having no control, like there are no ground beneath our feet. I have realized I get bombarded by other people's anxieties, emotions etc. It literally feels like there are no room for 'me' and that I am about to disappear. Just like you, I am a reasonably confident person when I am grounded - but when I am overwhelmed and/or feel like I have no control or don't know what am expected of me, when I don't know the rules, that's when I 'freeze', like I am trying to make myself invisible.
There's a way that we feel what others are feeling that might not even be about us - it's about them - but we feel it so intensely it's hard to remember they don't really mean anything. If we get a room full of that, it's hard not to be anxious. :P
Breathing and bubble-shielding works well for me. But it does take practice - sometimes I just am not aware, it's a bad habit I am trying to work through.
Ah, I think I am starting to understand what you mean, somewhat at least.
If I understand you correctly, you are confused by the emotions that Jesus evoke within people. Well, friend, it's usually comes from something very personal, deep and profound that can't be explained unless you have actually felt it. Simply; it's a miracle.
The holy spirit shows you something about God that is so overwhelming and absolute that becomes a part of your very being and literally your soul.
You don't have to worry about them feeling 'more' for Jesus - the Father wants us to love Him and wants to give us all with Him.
See it as this: The father needed a way, a language to reach us, so he sent his only son. Meaning he presented himself in a way that builds a bridge between humanity and Himself. The holy spirit sort of translates for us and guides us, while being both Christ and The father. The same way, The father is both the son and the holy spirit.
We are talking about the Creator here, he can be everywhere at once, can perceive everything and be everything. He is pure love. I think you're selling God short in a way.
Just because we can't understand How doesn't mean it's not true. He's a being that perceives (at least) all 11 dimensions. Think big picture. Think pure unadulterated unconditional love. When one feels even a smidge of that, one tends to get caught up.
Christ is a love letter from God, in form of himself.
I've been trying to understand what it is I am misunderstanding from your posts - since you didn't agree with what I said previously - and I am stumped. I feel like it is we are speaking different languages.
As for people ascending 'before' Jesus - as I said before, Christ exists outside of time, and what he did reached just as much back in time as it did forward in time. There are many mentions of Christ in the Old testament as there are in the New testament.
And Christ himself said that nobody can reach the Father if not through him. He is the way the truth and the life. He is the stumbling stone. You cannot say you know God and not know Christ.
I hope you can appreciate my frankness. It's all there in the Bible.
I can't quite grasp what your disconnect with Christ is, but it's clear there's something you have against him. Ofcourse it's your right to believe whatever you want, but I'm sorry to say, you are probably in the wrong place for validation of those beliefs. I haven't met a christian yet that could say they were anything without Christ. May God bless you and your home. Amen.
Avic amare a santum
Something that helped me before I learned to shield more etc. was to carry a small stone with me. Obsidian is good. I personally use amethyst too, aswell as obsidian. (I have both of them under the pillow when I sleep because I used to be so afraid when trying to sleep - it has really helped.) Tourmaline can help too.
I don't know if you are used to stones, but it might be a good crutch before you figure things out - it's very personal though, so you have to feel what is right for you.
I can feel your pain because every time I go home to my parents, I always have to be extra careful grounding and shielding - I usually have my little arsenal of stones with me. But also if you manage to ground yourself and remove any negativity you yourself are feeling about the situation, and fill your heart with compassion for yourself and for her, then it will get immensely easier. Love conquers all, as they say. I know it's no easy to get there though.
May your light fly on holy wings
I understand what you are saying, but Jesus is truly God. Jesus is the 'language' that God uses to connect us to him, where we couldn't before. You owe your connection to the Father to Jesus. But they are truly the same being. Talking to Christ, you communicate with the part of God that can show us he truly can relate to us, because he has been there.
But it doesn't matter if you 'call' him God or Jesus. It's the same. You keep praying and talking to him, and it's all fine. I think maybe he is challenging you to go a step further, and it might feel different - but ask God to show you who Christ is - I honestly believe you will get an awesome answer.
Well, those two things are intimately tied together. Maybe the easiest way is to imagine yourself tied off from God, not believing you are worthy of his love, and then being freed, through Christ, to connect to God - completely and without shame. It's hard to describe the process, because to truly appreciate the connection we get through Christ, we have to miss God on a deeper level - we must need him and understand why we need him. It's why it's easier for people that has gone through alot of hardship to follow christ than it is for someone that has gotten everything in life to do it. It's something that cries out inside, reaching out for God, and God answering. Through the holy spirit we also have access to everything God is, which we get when we accept Christ in our hearts. And that unconditional love is the most powerful thing a human can feel.
I hope you find the answers you are looking for