Why you shouldn't shield yourself
Kate, you make a very good point. The INTENT of why we do or don't do things, including shielding, is of utmost importance!
I am very sorry to hear that.
I live in a place that is like an alien planet to me, where people are like a different species from those I grew up with. I know it's not just me because I've had two friends and one cousin from back home move here and move back, because "It is not worth being warm to have to live around those people".
I've been trying to "grow where I am planted" for 36 years, but realize it is never going to happen. I was sent here by doctors for my physical health, but it ruined my emotional health, which controls physical health to a great degree, so it was a mistake.
I hope you can find a way to get out and go somewhere that resonates more with who you are, and where you can find like-minded people. People say geographic cures don't work, and if your problem is deep inside they don't, but sometimes there really is a bad fit between you and a place.
If you are referring to emotional environment and people rather than place, I hope you can remove yourself from that also. Distance can make difficult people so much easier to deal with; it gives you many more options.
I have read recently, also at themindsjournal, that people who are often angry are usually not having their basic needs met by the environment they are in. That is very true of me! I gave up what I wanted to help my spouse with his business, and now that I am older, am wanting it to be time for me to live where and how I want, but there is no way it can happen, unless manna falls from heaven, so I am POd all the time, simmering just under the surface. Not good. I did not used to even have a temper at all....
On the other hand, I also have Lyme Disease, which causes rages like something from the exorcist. People have been murdered by Lymies in the grip of a rage. Lyme is everywhere now and is a pandemic, affecting 6 times more people than breast cancer and 22 times more than AIDS. Rene, I know you live in the country, so this is a possibility, though city people can get it too, thanks to mice and mosquitos. If you are having any physical symptoms, along with the rage, please PM me with a list of them, since this cause of anger has zip to do with empathy.
I hope it is just something in the air, or maybe that black moon coming up on Friday.....though I admit I have no idea what a black moon is supposed to mean. It just sounds ominous!
Correction: The article at themindsjournal is called "The Psychology of People Who Hate People".
Also, does anyone know how to edit these posts when you see after posting that you've made a typo like I did in my last sentence in my previous post? On the old forum we had an edit button, but I don't see one here. I am no techie, sorry!
I am not sure if we are allowed to post other URLs in this forum....anyone know? In case not, I will just describe where to find this....
There is a really good website called themindsjournal and they have an article up right now about empaths called "For People Who Hate People" or some title very close to that. It's on their home page as of today, 9/29/16. It gives a totally differing perspective on these feelings and why empaths may actually need to do this!
I understand why Goodenergyhealing said my post could cause feelings of guilt, which is not my intention, as I've had people put too much of that on me already. The perspective in this article totally gets rid of that's you might want to check it out. It's interesting and I'd never thought of it that way before.
Ms. lightning bolts from my fingers, etc. here, sword and all! I had wanted to stay out of this thread!!! However, I think what we have here is not a disagreement on shielding, so much as a semantic problem, which I hope to clarify without scaring anyone too much. I suggest anyone who does not know any of this do some research.
There are light workers and there are light warriors, and there is a huge difference between the two. IME, there are far more light workers, and that is what most of you whom I have come to know in my appx. 3 yrs. on this forum are.
Paul and I are light warriors. I hope there are a few more on here. I know of two others who used to be here, but are not anymore. We are not talking about protecting ourselves from dark people here, which can be done in many ways, as you all have pointed out. We are fighting dark parasitic entities, involved in a huge ongoing war over the control of this planet. We fight at night, on the astral plane, and believe me, we need all the help we can get. There are 7 billion of us and about 700 billion of them, but one candle can light up a dark room.
How do I know this is real? Because I fought them at night, waking up exhausted, for at least a year before I ever heard anyone else speak of them and say what name they are usually called. Once I had a name, I then looked them up by their name in the Gnostic texts like the Nag Hamadi, etc. They're usually called the Archons, though we warriors prefer not to call them that since it means Lords, and they don't deserve that title.
They are soulless, psychopathic parasites, whose food is literally the energy they draw from our suffering, pain and death. They feed off of our energy and their favorite "snack" is empaths, since there is so much emotion to feed on there. Many of us warriors call them ankle biters, since such disrespect pisses them off. John Lash is one of many experts on them you can look up, if interested. David Icke is a more mesmerizing speaker and also has done videos on them.
Once I knew what they are called, on YouTube I saw pictures of them looking exactly the way I'd been seeing them for the whole time I'd fought them before I knew what they were and what I was doing and why. They have a three tiered hierarchy in their species, and I have fought only the lowest, weakest ones, so I must not be advanced enough in skill to handle any of the higher ones. I have seen one of the second tier of their species, but only once, and it's strength was immense.
I don't know if I chose this or was chosen. I have tried to "resign", which has never lasted more than 3 weeks before I find myself back at it again. I have been able to stay out of the fight a bit longer lately by reminding myself that we humans seem to need these dark ones to push against at this point in our evolution, since we are stuck and cannot seem to move forward, so they serve a purpose. Then I remember how lopsided the playing field is and how high the stakes, and I'm back at it again. Sigh. I'd not choose this again, believe me.
I use a 3 layered shield system, depending on where I am and what I am doing, and I'd no more go without it than I would walk over broken glass in bare feet, but I do understand that most light workers are not going to need this level of protection like warriors do. I wish I was one of you. I often do not feel up to my task.
I hope this helps us to all understand each other better and does not sound too crazy to you light workers. I've had hours and hours of "head shrinking" in my former profession, before they ever let me get near a patient, and assure you I am not psychotic or delusional, just depressed from the state of things. We are not really at odds in this thread; we are simply doing different jobs to help the earth and humanity, and different jobs require different tools. We are on the same side always....the winning side of the one source!
Now she looks like a Native American. Could that be the neglected group of people she has been caring for medically?
She looks like a very old soul and there is a masculine air in this picture, as if she has been a man in her most recent life before this one.
I'm so glad Elise "found" these posts and got them back. Thanks.
The latest picture shows me our lady is VERY intelligent, enough so that she would feel lonely in a crowd, being far more intelligent than anyone around her.
I also feel great optimism in her.
On this third picture I got some words, but feel they may be words that describe the type of thing she did rather than actual hits.
Tuberculosis (consumption), Sanitorium, hooker (!), syphillis, midwife, black lung.
Tough cookie (referring to what she has become). Sadness, resignation, but not quitting until she draws her last breath; too much adrenaline from anger to stop. I hear the words "backwoods idiots, can't they see?!"
The man in the lower right looks familiar to me for some reason. I feel like he has some abilities himself! I just heard the name Hatfield, like in Hatfield's vs. McCoys. This may not be literal either, more like they are set up in an adversary relationship to the majority around them.
All for now......
THANK YOU PAUL!!!
I had to turn off all notifications, since I get them from the whole site here, not just the threads I post on and it was too much, so I am really glad I came here and found this today. YIPPEE!
I hoped we could get these started again. The practicing before allowed me to channel a deceased brother for someone and get his exact name and description, something I could never do before. I love these. They are so much harder than reading in person and I believe they really help me do better at reading people face to face.
I don't care if I am so off base I make a total fool out of myself; it still helps. I hope all newbies will keep that in mind and just let it rip........
I feel this woman is very earnest. She always knew what her mission in life would be. What she is doing for the greater good is more important to her than any family life or other personal relationships, which are more of an after thought to her. She is persistent to the end, and somewhat of an innocent in what she expects from people, then she is shocked when they do not live up to her ideal.
I think she has strong spiritual beliefs which hold her up and propel her forward.
I am getting possible medical work, maybe nursing, perhaps working with people others would not work with back in her day, like people with Leprosy or maybe the mentally ill, since there was such stigma attached to that back in the old days.
In the second picture, I pick up some chronic health problem that she mostly hides and suffers in silence. It involves pain and I see her rubbing her hands, so maybe arthritis, possibly rheumatoid. She is quite stoic and thinks displays of self pity are unbecoming.
I also get a somewhat biting sense of humor. She seems far less innocent and idealistic in this photo compared to the first, so I am thinking that age and experience have made her more cynical.
She notices details and is compulsive about getting the details of everything just as she likes them. She could be critical to those who did not keep those standards. I see her scolding a younger woman about an improperly folded corner on a bed sheet. (sounds like me, lol).
That's all for now.....
If looking this up, it is spelled LEY lines.
There are a lot of major ones in the UK, like through Stonehenge for example,as mentioned above. Crop circles are often on the ley lines. Many monuments all over our planet are directly on them, on purpose to increase energy and as Karen2 said, to act as portals.
I dont' know how much you've gotten into the ascension thing, and I'm not even sure yet how I feel about it, (it sounds too much like a new age version of the rapture to me), but I've been hearing lately from people into ascension that we must work out all 3rd density karma before we can ascend, because negative thought manifests instantly in 4th density, and we can't go there if we are going to create horrible thoughts into reality. As a result, things we haven't completely resolved will keep coming back up, and they may confuse us, especially if they come from childhood and we've forgotten the incident.
I find hatred I've felt in the past toward people who've badly hurt me or my loved ones is coming up again, and I'm going over and over what happened, feeling the rage all over again, and having to try to resolve my feelings, now that I've evolved enough to know I should not hate anyone, no matter what they do, a very hard lesson to grasp for me, when the results of what they did are ongoing and getting worse.
Could you possibly have an incident way in your past involving someone who was hypocritical about their beliefs versus their behavior, or pushing you to believe what they believed and saying you would not be saved if you did not agree, or some other such scenario that could need resolving?
I may be way off base, but it was the first thing that came to mind......
Someone in this thread mentioned two OTC drugs used for sleep. I just want to make you aware that new research shows that all anticholinergic drugs (this includes Benadryl), are associated with causing dementia when taken long term. In addition, recent research shows that acetaminophen (Tylenol) suppresses empathy! Nope, I'm not kidding....look it up! It shocked me too.
Melatonin in low doses, L-theanine, lemon balm, passionflower, GABA, valerian (if you can stand the smell), chamomile (if you're not allergic to ragweed) or various combos of them, are natural ways to help get some sleep. If you are depressed, L-tryptophan in high doses, like one gram at bedtime, will help you get more deep, restorative sleep, just make sure you don't eat for at least 2 hrs. before taking it, and do not take it if taking antidepressants. (I studied for 2+ yrs. towards a Dr. of Naturopathy degree).
This is a really interesting thread. I too have constant tingling in my crown area, especially at night, and have heard a voice in my head on 3 occasions, either telling me about something that was about to happen, or something that just did happen that I needed to know about. I assumed they were spirit guides, but don't really know.
I too have had an MRI, as well as a BEAM scan, a Neuropsychological evaluation, and carotid artery studies, but all that was found was some brain damage and hypo perfusion of blood in certain areas of the brain consistent with the usual findings in fibromyalgia, which I have. None of those areas is near the crown.
I do feel these abilities can drive us into mental problems if we aren't in control of them. I have become very depressed, anxious, self-isolating (since I don't like what I pick up from most people and can read their hidden agendas, whether I want to or not, and I also seem to scare some people away now, since I find it impossible to force myself to play social games). Isolation is the number one non-physical predictor of early death, so it's no joke. (I'm a psychiatric social worker). It's more important than smoking, drinking, obesity, etc. People are meant to be in tribes. During most of our history, isolation meant death, so it causes the person to become hyper vigilant, and thus they are constantly anxious.
Sorry to go on so long. I meant to throw in my two cents, and ended up putting in a quarter, lol.
I want some of what Tigerlily was taking that made her feel happy all the time! I would love that and so would my long-suffering spouse.
I've tried so many anti-deps I've lost count, and they did absolutely nothing for me at all, except two of them that caused severe allergic reactions, requiring cortisone shots and Benadryl around the clock for the next 3 weeks, since anti-deps last so long in the body. I did try one that helped me put up with overstimulation in crowded places, but that alone was not worth taking a drug to me.
I am not a fan of drugs, but would do anything to ease this depression, as it's so bad I only get relief from sadness when I'm unconscious. Even therapists say my situation is so bad there is nothing they can do for me. I am getting some help from supplements, especially high EPA fish oil and L-tryptophan, but having a chronic, eventually fatal illness that causes constant suffering is not a solvable problem, so there is only so much that can be done. I have to do the hard work of being able to sit with my symptoms and accept the situation.
Recent research shows 64% of depressed people are missing various proteins that help make neurotransmitters, which explains a lot and promises much more targeted, non-addictive help in the future, but knowing Big Pharma, it will come at a price only kings can afford.
If you take benzos like clonazepam long enough, they can turn on you and actually cause anxiety (tolerance withdrawal), and they are harder to get off than heroin, and I know this from reading it plus trying to get off of alprazolam 5 times. I've been on them 30 yrs.
Recent research also ties benzos to development of Alzheimer's and destruction of the deeper sleep needed for body repair.SPECT scans show benzo drugs slow brain response by 92%.
I was put on them for severe muscle spasms that made it impossible for me to walk. Now I can walk again, but can't get off the drug, and when it starts to wear off, I get so anxious I become enraged and hyped up. I also have zero short term memory and am starting to lose my long term memory too. I am terrified of my worsening memory problems, but asked my doctor about getting off benzos, and he said at this point it would take at least a year with an addiction specialist and about 4 more years of enduring some withdrawal symptoms after that. I may not have that much time left. If younger, I'd do it in a heartbeat, just to get free of the conventional medical system and having to see their doctors.
Bottom line. I'd try natural alternatives and life changes first, no matter how hard they are to make, but I would try drugs as a last resort, since I know what this is like. Depression is far worse than all my physical symptoms put together, so I'd take drugs if all else failed.
Wishing you a complete recovery,
I typed a long reply earlier, but couldn't post on this thread until now. Moderators are working hard on getting rid of the bugs! (Thanks!)
I just wanted to say that I am having the same problem as you right now, and when I get this far down, the resulting low vibration will cut off my abilities, since the vibrational frequency is too low for even my spirit guides or angels to get down that far to help me out. It feels like I am abandoned just when I need it most, so I know how frustrating it is.
This requires some time to heal, at least for me. I have to make my life as calm, simple, unhurried and down right boring as possible for awhile, so my emotional resilience tank can fill up again with enough energy and frustration tolerance. Depression is nature's way of telling you to take a time out.
I cut out all unnecessary tasks, avoid all drama queens and toxic people and take it easy. I make sure I take supplemental L-tryptophan at bedtime (do not do this if taking antidepressants!), and I take high EPA Omega 3 oils twice daily, and free form amino acids each morning, all to naturally help raise amounts of the neurohormones that relieve depression. Being in nature as much as possible is a real help too.
Of course, if there is anything I can do to change the situation that made me depressed, I do that too. Be patient and kind to yourself during this time...it will pass.
I know you don't want to ask, but something worth having is rarely free in life. I think all grown ups know that, or they should.
I've been on disability for 30 yrs. so my monthly amt. is a pittance, but still I would gladly give you $1 a month and if it cost just $1 a month to be a member here, you would easily make the amount you need and then some. In fact, you could probably charge us just $4 or $5 per year and make the cost of keeping us on Ning, if you wanted to, based on the membership figures I've seen. I don't know how many actually participate though, so I may be wrong.
This site has helped my depression due to feeling so different from other people more than any therapist, and therapists cost big bucks! Having been a therapist myself before my illness, I can tell you that nothing helps you feel understood more than other people who are in the same boat you are in....that's why I did group therapy. This group provides that and much, much more for those of us who belong to that 5% who are empaths.
I know it's not what you want, and I understand, appreciate and respect your desire to make our lives easier, but I would much rather pay a small fee than lose this home for my soul, and I'll bet lots of others here feel the same way.
I'm a psychiatric social worker and just want to point out that by your description of how this person behaves, she does not sound like a narcissist. She sounds like a classic case of Hysterical Personality Disorder.
The good news here is that most people with HPD are pretty normal in the rest of their lives except for wanting constant attention from every member of the opposite sex, and this includes trying to steal your man even if they don't want him, just to prove they can. This usually is the result of a hyper-critical father whom she can never please or be good enough for.
Narcissists have no empathy for anyone and you don't really even exist, and this applies all the time in every part of life. You are an appendage to them, and if you don't obey them, you must be destroyed. All personality disorders are very hard to deal with, since the person who has one will almost always deny it and refuse treatment, so avoidance is the best policy, but IMO, NPD is much worse than HPD.
I know this doesn't help much with your problem, but if you read a bit about HPD, you may get some ideas. You'll have to decide if your friend is worth putting up with this other woman too. If it was me, I would email my friend a short article on HPD and ask them if they recognize anyone they know in it, but I am at the age where I am DONE putting up with people I don't like, period. If you do that, you may have to face your friend choosing her over you, at least until this woman steals her man. Younger people like you usually have a lot more tolerance than I have, so you may want to just wait it out. A woman with HPD doesn't keep friends long, except for the ones who never have dates for her to steal. She uses that type of friend as her "wing woman" so she doesn't have to go out prowling for male attention alone. She will steal all men away from her friends, causing them to end it with her if they have normal self esteem.
I've read a lot on this subject, since I have almost all of these symptoms and have had them for years, some of them causing real problems, like the waking up during the night over and over one, which destroys your health if it goes on long enough. (I must be a slow learner, lol).
My spouse has none of the symptoms, so I wonder if that means he is not ascending, or does it mean he's so advanced he just doesn't need to have symptoms to adjust??? I've never heard or read anyone commenting on this aspect of it.
If you are going to take Valerian, I would recommend capsules. Valerian tea STINKS. It smells so bad it can literally drive you right out of your own house! I tried putting it in the refrigerator, since someone told me that would help, but it didn't. I would open the refrig. door and almost pass out from it. I know it sounds like I'm exaggerating, but I assure you, I'm not!]
Thanks for posting these reminders. I can't hear this enough.
I especially have trouble with #4 on the list of 7 signs you posted, and with #5 on the list you typed.
Re: #4 on the copied list: Things outside of my home, which is surrounded in landscaping with birds and flowers to enjoy do not seem real at all now. The ugly buildings, all the concrete, the busy traffic, the signs, the noises. Ugh. I go out there only when I must now, and I think, what the heck is all this crap? I feel it is totally unreal, as if I could punch my fist through it and would find it is just a poster. All I can think of is that I want to go home and this place is not home! I'm sure if I told this to a doctor, I'd be committed.
Re: #5 on your list: This has been SO painful for me. My best friend of 54 years had to go. She was the closest thing I had to a family member. I had to divorce my husband's family and distance most other friends and put them on a very casual basis. I can no longer tolerate those who embrace moral relativity as an excuse to do anything they want, no matter who it hurts, and who believe their own minds to be the only God. These are legion. The loneliness is killing, but when I am around most people, I can't wait to get away from them. The trivial discussions, the self-made, non-stop dramas, their belief in the reality of political "sides", and so on, make me feel even lonelier than when I am alone.
This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through, and I've had a pretty tough life, so reminders that there is a destination to make it worth it are always welcome. I do have to admit that I doubt that though, as I am now doubting everything and am floating free, another stage to go through in this process......
Sadly, this group faded out awhile back, since it was a lot of work to host a photo, and nobody seemed to have time anymore to find and post photos that were hard to guess, but not too hard, plus answer all the people who posted their impressions. This was my favorite group at the EC.
You can "grade" yourself on any of these by looking through the last couple of pages of each one until you find the post where the host revealed who it is and provided links that tell you all about the person. That should give you a very good idea how you did and there are plenty here to practice on. We did this just for practice though and were not competing....just having fun.
If you'd like, and have time to answer people who try to read the picture, please feel free to post a new picture yourself. All of us who are members of this group will receive an email about it, and maybe we can revive this group, which would be great, IMO! The photo reading practice really helped me with live readings. The only rule is the person whose picture you post must be deceased....I think for legal reasons.
Nobody has yet addressed the physical causes of feeling generalized fear. I have this problem.
On the physical level, if you have been under a lot of stress, absorbing other's energies until you are worn out, helping everyone but yourself, doing things you don't like because others want/need you to do them, putting up with toxic people, etc., you may have very depleted levels of neurotransmitters. These are the hormones that transmit messages to and from your brain and gut, and run all your body systems. Low levels can cause havoc anywhere in your body.
Left untreated, your pancreas eventually stops producing digestive enzymes and then you will not absorb nutrition correctly. In this case, it is especially protein you need to worry about, since not digesting it will make your levels of neurohormones even lower, since they are made from amino acids derived from protein. It becomes a vicious circle.
I know all this because decades of letting people use me and abuse me, which I only put a stop to recently, has put me in this position. I make such low levels of neurotransmitters that they are too low to read. This is very bad and has made me very sick and very depressed.
Drugs are not the answer, as they cause your body to think there are plenty of neurohormones, so it stops trying to make them at all. If you are already super low, they just won't work.
Lots of high EPA Omega 3 acids from fish oils, chia seeds, walnuts, etc. are needed, as well as sunshine in your eyes for at least ten minutes daily, exercise for at least 30 mns. daily (can be just a walk, out in the sun you get two for one!), getting as much sleep as you can and make sure it's deep sleep (try amber glasses if you have to get up at night, red night lights, get rid of all clocks with blue lighted numbers, try a small dose of melatonin, a large dose of L-tryptophan, etc.), and the hardest of all.....get toxic people out of your life no matter who they are, and socialize with people who lift you up only. If you are at the point I'm at, where your neurohormone levels are so low you don't want to be around other people, you have to force yourself to slowly do it.
Yes, we can pick this up from other people, but if you are feeling this way almost all the time like I am, I would look into this. Your Primary doctor can run a simple blood test if you want confirmation of your levels. The ones you want to test are serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, epinephrine and GABA.
Thank you, 4peace!
I have a tiger's eye pendant, but I thought it was used for the solar plexis chakra, due to it's color, so I'd been wearing it only when I need digestion help. I did not know it would help with depression. I will wear it more often.
I don't have any of the others you mentioned, but will look at them. My depression is long standing and secondary to late stage Lyme Disease, so it's more a case of making it bearable than making it totally gone. I've found many natural helpers, but no stones yet, so I appreciate this info.
I don't know the answer, because I'm no expert, but I do mix them. I have one necklace cage with both green aventurine and teddite inside it, and another one with green aventurine and solidite inside it. I've not noticed problems from wearing them this way, but they are not my favorites either. Maybe that is why they don't seem to do anything. I'm as curious as you are.
For me, clear quartz or rose quartz are the only ones that I notice make me feel better. I keep black tourmaline on my desk, rather than wear it, but there are times when I wish I had worn it when being overwhelmed in crowds.
I can't wait to hear what the people who really know their crystals have to say about this......
Sometimes beliefs are less relevant than practicality and preservation of life that is already here, IMO.
Most of you are too young to remember the Dalkon Shield Disaster. In 1970, A.H. Robbins Pharmaceuticals had a scientist who completely made up all of his research on the first IUD for women who'd never been pregnant. It was put on the market, and was a seeming God send for me, since I'd just been told I had to go off the pill or risk a stroke.
The IUD caused a severe infection known as PID. It eventually led to a class action law suit because 200,000 American women lost their ability to have kids forever. I was one of them, but I did not know it for quite awhile, so failed to join the lawsuit.
After it caused infection, I had to use less reliable methods. I did not know I had severe scarring, so my womb could not expand. I was told there was at least a 75% chance I could not bring a child to term. My husband wanted kids and I knew he'd divorce me eventually over this, so it was a last straw that resulted in divorce.
Fast forward to my marriage to a man who was adopted and said it was fine and we could adopt. I got pregnant despite using birth control, but had to abort it to save my life, due to scarring. We found out our state said we did not make enough money to adopt, though both of us worked 55 hrs. a week. I got pregnant again, though I was now using an even better form of birth control, ended up hospitalized, unable to walk and on morphine, and once again had to have an abortion to save my life, only this time I had to go 70 miles away to a University hospital, since the only hospital where we lived was Catholic, and they told me it was God's will that my baby and I should die, since they would not do abortions. Since he wanted kids, he started cheating on me with one of his employees who already had a child while I was in the hospital. I begged the doctor to take out my plumbing, so I would not have to go through this horror again and he did.
Thank God for Roe v. Wade or I'd have been dead long ago, all because some scientist cheated in an effort to make a name for himself. No price can be put on the suffering and the rejection I felt.
Maybe I am just trying to make myself feel better, but I've heard many mediums speak on this and say that abortion is often written into your life contract, and you will see the baby on the other side, and/or the soul will simply choose another suitable womb to be born into in order to fulfill it's purpose. I've also heard them say the baby's soul is in and out of the body often from about 3 mos. after conception through the first year of life. I don't know what is true.
Do I feel guilty? Of course I do, and it gets worse as I get older. I often wonder what they would have been like.....But, I also wonder what the hell else could I have done in the circumstances? Would I have stayed in what were obviously weak marriages just for the kids? I just don't know. I think the options must be there in a free society, though we should certainly rely less on them, and it might help if kids were taught just how unreliable many forms of birth control really are.
Just my two cents,
As far as doing something practical about this problem of having no empath face to face friends, I count ten posters in this thread, so the odds are not good, but at least one of us might get a gift from the universe and find out that another one of us lives near enough to meet them......
Does anyone else live in the Tampa Bay, Florida area who has posted in this thread?
My hard drive died and I am using backup, so please excuse typos. Computer in shop 4 days now and I am a wreck...can't do business w/o it.
I just had to post to agree. I have 3 extrovert friends, but the only reason it works is 2 live far away, and the other doesn't really understand but being extrovert has tons of other friends. They drain me big time and I have to get the one who lives here to come see me, or she would try to drag me into a crowd of some sort. She can't stand to be alone at all and tries to push my boundaries. We share the care of a neighborhood cat, otherwise I'd drop her due to the stress, even though I'm very isolated; too much even for an introvert like me. I am also friendly and kind, and people seem so needy these days, they glom on like leeches to anyone like that. It's very sad, and I feel I must try to be colder and more reserved, also sad, or I end up unable to get out and a blow up results when I've had all I can stand of being bossed around. Understanding I am INFJ helps, so I know why I feel alone in a crowd.
I have a different perspective on this. I think part of this is because we are empaths. I'm 65 yrs. old, and having spent a lot of time people watching, I see almost all of the people I know who do have a lot of friends not noticing the way they are being used, accepting behavior that I would not, allowing people to horribly abuse them, etc. They may have "friends", but they do it by being unaware of what you and I can clearly see.
I had to spend time thinking about what I would and would not put up with, then seek people whom I could tolerate, though always in small doses, since I need a lot of time alone. I am chronically ill and mostly homebound now, but when I do meet people, I have no problem with them wanting to befriend me. I am almost always the one who ends up rejecting them for not meeting my ethical standards, or for being obvious users, or drama queens who will drain me dry until I get even sicker. How to end a friendship that you realize is wrong for you is the hardest thing for me. I am not good at it, since I prefer honesty and most people seem to want you to tell them what they want to believe instead, another thing the average unaware person does not seem to notice or be bothered by.
Our society has all these online websites that match you up for romance. I think we need to take friendship just as seriously and maybe have the same sort of thing for that. A website just for empaths to find other local empaths would be fabulous, for example.
I am sorry I have no solutions. I am struggling with this problem too, but one thing I know from experience is that for me at least, being alone is far less lonely than being surrounded by the wrong people. I went through a 4 year period where I experimented with being friends with anyone who wanted me as their friend, and I had loads of "friends" as a result, but I felt like an alien dropped on a strange planet. I got my serious illness at the end of that period, which I do not think was a coincidence. So, I hope you will continue to be yourself no matter what. If you've not tried local Metaphysical Meetup groups, that might be a place to find people like you, and if there aren't any near you, you can start one!
I agree. I had never considered that someone could be too empathic! I just looked at it from the point of view of most people not being empathic enough. His use of current events to illustrate the point really helped me grasp it also. A new way to look at the whole issue that will make me feel a lot less guilty about trying to be "colder" to save myself. My new motto is: "It's not mine and it's not worth it".
Thanks for posting this!
I just want to point out that it was Cat Whisperer, not me, who gave that excellent second opinion on this thread, but I do agree with her and with your comment on hers. There are several members here with Cat or Kat in their screen names, so it's easy to do this. I just don't want to seem to be taking credit for someone else's comments, but it's nice to know I was on your mind! That is probably due to the long conversation we've been having on your blog post!
I am going through this right now with someone I initially thought was a saint, someone who is "too good to be true", and calling me her "dear friend" way too soon, when she hardly knows me was my first clue something was off. Sure enough, I've found out there have been lies by omission, outright lies, damage done by carelessness, and a hidden agenda.
How do we deal with this type of person when we must interact sometimes? That's the hard part for me. I've had way too much of this, and have developed quite a temper when I hit the point where I'm DONE with someone's B.S.
I have had it proven by staying overnight in a sleep lab to have severe delayed sleep phase onset disorder, and two other sleep disorders. I had to work second shift before and now I work at home in a part time job for my husband, thank God, or I could not work at all. The sleep lab director said with my my brain wave patterns, I would never naturally fall asleep before 2 am without drugs, which is true.
Research I've read shows only 10% of people are "morning" people, 20% are night owls, and the rest are pretty flexible. All of society does seem organized for the early birds though. Many of our ancestors, before electricity, used to sleep in two sections, since it was dark outside for so much longer than anyone needs to sleep, and often would visit neighbors in the middle of the night, then go home and go back to sleep.
I also have depression that is much worse in the morning, so much so that I will not make appts. to go anywhere in the morning unless I must, like fasting lab tests. I am a really angry beotch in the mornings, and/or so sad I can hardly stand to be conscious. I often make plans to do things at night like a not depressed person would, and the next morning think I must have been insane to think I would do that. It is like being two different people, though I find the sad part of the day is lasting longer and longer now.
I do not have ADHD though. Melatonin makes me hallucinate to the point where I do not know if I am asleep or awake. It scared me so much, I won't touch it again. For me, large doses of L-tryptophan work better. I am not trying to discourage anyone from trying Melatonin. I also have two other sleep disorders, which may be part of why I react that way to it.
Another thing that is supposed to help your body keep making natural melatonin all night is to use no blue lighting during the night because it stops melatonin production. In other words, keep amber colored, blue light blocking sunglasses on your night stand and wear them all the time if you get up at night, or use red xmas bulb night light bulbs only, no white or yellow ones. Get rid of digital clocks with blue numbers and get red ones, no TVs, computer screens or phones on unless you wear the special amber glasses. I just use red xmas lights in a size that fits night lights, since I also have balance problems in the dark and need lights all through the house.
I do have loads of strange dreams, some repeating ones. I think it's great you are journaling your dreams.
You are certainly not alone with this problem. I saw a video awhile back of a couple on YouTube who are part of a group of empaths who live only at night in order to enjoy the benefits of city living but without having to put up with the hordes of people and resulting overwhelm. They sleep during the day and are up all night. That won't work in most places, but in NYC and similar areas it would be an option.
There may also be a need for you to shield before sleeping, as entities who do not have your best interests at heart can get at you and take your energy much easier on the astral plane when you are dreaming. I just affirm that my shield is still up and will remain up all night and that nobody can take my energy, before going to bed. This has helped with morning energy, but not with mood. I would give anything to ditch that depression. I have serious medical problems, but all of them together don't hurt as much as depression does, so you truly have my empathy.
Thanks Trevor! I did not know about the bloodline connection and could not figure out why I seem to be repeating my mother's lifeexactly, despite a lifetime of efforts not to do so. I also feel the same severe emotional depression she had when she was older.
I've been trying to convince my husband about the physical proximity you mention to no effect, since he is not an empath. I live in a darkness sandwich, and no amount of shielding seems to help, when our closest neighbors to the north and south are the darkest people I've ever met.
As far asCactus'squestion, I find I can read senders easily, and like Trevor said, the higher the emotion in the exchange the easier it is to read, complete with a picture in my head of what they are really thinking, if they happen to lie to me.
But, I am hardly ever able to read other receivers, unless there is a pattern over time that I pick up on.
For me, the emotion in a communication determines how much I pick up, not their empathy, and the other person is often the exact opposite of an empath, a narcissist for example.
Elise's technique for turning down "others" and turning up "me" can be found under Empath Survival on the Home page and may prove helpful. Shielding can also help when around people you do not want to pick up on.
I'm no crystal expert, but I've had more than my share of emotional pain, and for me, rose quartz, worn on a chain at heart length, seems to help me the most.
I'd say whatever stone you are drawn to and that makes you feel better is best, since we all seem to be different when it comes to this sort of thing.
Also, you might try picturing yourself surrounded by green healing light.
I say "Your vibe attracts your tribe" a lot, which I stole from Ralph Smart, a psychologist.
I say "yep", "yeah", and "yikes"! a lot too, a dead giveaway to what part of the U.S, I am from, lol.
I use the word "glad" a lot more than most people, instead of saying I am happy you had a nice day, happy you passed a test, got a clean bill of health,etc., I am always glad.
When frustrated I often say "Jesus Christ on a bicycle". Or, I will say "I'm gobsmacked", a word I love which I got from a British friend.
I will tell people "I am praying for your highest and best good", since what we want is not always what is best for us.Empath-wise, I use "Not mine and not worth it" and chant it until I calm down, when I start to feel other people's dramas.
Just an FYI. You may know this already, but many people don't.....
My first husband was a lawyer, which is why I found this out and went ahead and changed my name to my nickname, after he told me I did NOT have to go to court like most people think. All you have to do is just change it.
Write to social security, or call them or go online and tell them you are changing your name and need a new card. Order new checks from the bank, get anew driver's license, charge cards, etc. Yes, this takes time and is a hassle, but it doesn't cost anything or involve waiting for a court date, like legal proceedings to change your name do. It's no more than you'd go through if you got married and took a husband's name.
I did this a long time ago, so if you check this out and find out the law has changed, please let me know!
I would go for it if you really feel like the nickname is the real you. I got SO tired of explaining that my name is _____ but please don't call me that, call me _____, especially in job interviews. I thought it sounded a bit flaky.
You are SO right about variations of a name making a huge difference. When younger, I had relationships with two men who turned out to be sociopaths. Both were named Jay. One of them had Jacob as his middle name too! I also know someone with a son named Jay who is a sociopath. I am not saying all men named Jay are sociopaths, just that in my life, they have been, and I dated a lot of frogs before finding one I thought was a prince.
Phineas is not nearly as common as my husband's middle name which was not there.....Phillip. My first name is probably more common than Phineas also. At first glance it seems there are so many names on there, but then we have to take into account other countries and languages, so there really aren't that many.
FWIW, I have never been called by the name on my birth certificate. Nobody thought it fit me. People came up with all sorts of nicknames instead. At age 17, a new boyfriend told me what I'd heard so many times, that my name did not fit me and he wasn't going to call me that. He gave me a nickname that fit and stuck so everyone called me that, and I finally changed it legally a few years later. I am now 65, so I've gone by that name for most of my life. As noted above in my first post, the name I go by was not in their database, despite my having met 3 others with it in my life, but the name on my birth certificate was there when I looked it up. It fit me about 30% , so it was not very accurate.
Hi Kit Kat,
I thought about looking at my middle name but the only person who ever used it was my mom, and only when she was mad at me, lol. Also, it is an extremely common name, the opposite of my first name.
I did look at my husband's name and it did not fit at all.....the exact opposite of how he is. It is a very common name and I wonder if that makes it less targeted or not. I looked at his middle name too, which is also pretty common, and once again to my surprise, they did not have it.
I do think names leave an impression on people though, so the site is interesting to look at. There are subconscious associations to certain names in our society and what sort of people are likely to have such names, whether right or wrong.
I just want to say I agree with you. I've always wondered what is wrong with other people that they can't feel what we feel. I did not feel put down even in childhood when people called me "high strung". I just felt like they were abnormally cold and hard in their response to things, especially the suffering of animals, which is something I cannot abide at all.
I feel like you have some serious writing talent. That was a perfectly written explanation, full of things to think about, and I've read a lot about being an empath over the past couple of years. I also feel like I am a warrior, so it was very moving to me. Thanks.
I have never been able to train myself to be normal, and am not sure it's completely possible, though some people here have achieved something close to that. In spite of all the shielding, etc., I've become quite ill and have to isolate myself a lot, as I am trapped living in what I call a "darkness sandwich", in a house inbetween the two most negative people I've ever encountered.
My husband, who is not an empath, is unaffected and does not want to move for many reasons, which would make sense to anyone not affected like an empath is. I asked him how he is able to ignore how awful our neighbors are, and the best he can explain it is that he puts things he does not like and can't do anything about into a compartment in his head and simply shuts the door and walks away. Then he no longer thinks about those things. Oh how I wish I could do that. If you learn how, please do post about it!
My mother was an empath but never knew that she was, and was thought of as a "saint" and "hypersensitive". My father was not a full blown narcissist, but had narcissistic tendencies like being selfish, spoiled and loud, and basically a lazy A-hole who thought he was smarter than he was. Both were alcoholics, and I was an unwanted only child so I was pretty much left to raise myself. The poverty was great with a lot of insecurity and crying over how to pay rent, no food in the cupboard, etc. so.....
I'm not sure if I got my abilities totally from my mom, or partly from feeling unsafe and insecure as a child, so I became hyper vigilant all the time. My mom and I were/are both physical empaths, becoming physically ill from what we absorb from others, and like me, she became a hermit as she aged and got sicker and sicker.
My husband's family is a lot like heartbroken's above. His dad was a full blown Narc and showered attention on his total loser of a Narc brother, while giving my husband nothing but endless self esteem destroying criticism. This often happens with Narcs, as they can't tolerate those they think rank higher than them in any way, so they try to destroy them. Their favorite is often the loser or the screw up, etc. since that child can be made permanently dependent on the Narc, which is what they want. My husband is not an empath but definitely an HSP. Nobody else in his family has a clue how to read even obvious cues about people that the average person could pick up, so I don't think he inherited it.
Family gatherings! I got to where I could not sell my soul anymore and I finally refused to go at all. I "divorced" them.
Thanks, Rene. I had no idea wearing the color helped. I have been teased by friends all my life for wanting my clothes and even undies to match, lol. I don't care so much about the undies anymore though.
I think someone on here told me that putting some types of stones in the sun can soften them too much or some such thing. I wish I could remember where I heard that. I can't imagine how that could happen though.....
I think light from a full moon is supposed to be good for them.
I am no expert on crystals, and learned most of what I know of them from other people here at EC. I do have the same problem you do though. I set them in moonlight and the other things you've done, but only two of them make me feel anything, my clear quartz and my rose quartz, both of which make me feel in a better mood and my day tends to go better when I wear one of them.
I have seen several posts here where people have said that we each should pick the stones that resonate with us, and not pay so much attention to general rules about what they are supposed to do. We are all different.
For example, I have a black tourmaline to protect me from awful neighbors. I charge it daily, but I feel far more protection when I wear my rose quartz, so I am trusting that instead. I think it is right for me, but I cannot explain why.
Now I just have to fight my silly preference for being color coordinated, lol. I tend to wear my blue solidite with blue tops, my green aventurine with a green top, my amethyst with a purple top, etc., rather than wear the rose quartz if it clashes with what I have on.
I have learned if I am going to be in a crowd, to make sure I wear the clear or rose quartz, and will change my top to match it, if that is what it takes to wear it.
I hope some of our crystal experts will come and give you a better answer. I look forward to seeing what they say as well, since I have the same problem.