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Hi Nocturne's Angel,
I would love a Spirit Guide message if you have time.
My church actually holds classes where everyone brings in piles of old magazines and they do this together, only they call it Treasure Mapping. I did one once, but it made little difference.
I agree with Hermes.V that it depends on your natural way of perceiving things. I am a very visual person already, so adding the board with photos of all my wishes did not make much difference, since I already picture things in my mind a lot. If you are not so visually oriented, it may help a lot.
Using affirmations and taking actions that will help things to happen are, of course, needed too. There have to be more thoughts that favor your desired outcome than otherwise. That can be really, really hard, since the brain is wired to focus on negativity, so give yourself a break and some time to work on it.
Are you hearing the same song over and over in relation to a particular person, or just in general? I was not sure from what I read above. The message might be for them, if it is related to someone other than you.
If it seems to be a message for you, this is popularly known as an ear worm, and is a part of OCD, though when it occurs by itself, it is considered normal. I have it badly enough now that I am severely sleep deprived that I consider it extremely annoying.
In my case it did not seem connected to someone else, and it took me about 3 weeks of the same two songs playing in my head whenever I was not asleep before I finally figured out what they had in common and were trying to tell me about where I should put my attention in my life. Just as it was with Hop Daddy, both songs were not currently popular. At least I liked them. I have had songs stuck in my head that I did not like.
I agree with Hop Daddy that if this is likely a message from your spirit guides, unless it is paired with other symptoms. For me it really helped to figure out what the 2 songs had in common. I hope you can remember the 2nd one and figure that out, as it might hold a clue.
Thanks. I read that link you provided and it did help. It may have answered some questions I have about why I cannot sleep past 3:30 am anymore and why the problem area seems to be in one corner of our bedroom. I also have the ear ringing before it starts, and I do see the entities, but only if I close my eyes, which seems strange. I do have depression and have to work very hard to try to keep my vibration up. Not sure I succeed. I have closed the holes in my aura as far as I can tell and there used to be a lot of them. The one time I did laugh at them, I was able to get them to leave a lot faster than usual. Lots to think about......
Hi Hop Daddy,
Thanks, glad you liked it. I have a head full of trivia, but can't remember what I ate for lunch!
Did you ever finish reading "The Practical Psychic Self Defense Handbook: A Survival Guide" by Robert Bruce?
I've just finished reading all the free excerpts at Amazon, since my library does not have it or intend to get it. I remember you said you'd write up some basic pointers from it when you got done. No pressure.....but I am very interested, since I have felt my so-called "Lyme rages" may be due to a Neg, as he calls them. The rage attacks are totally out of character for the person I was before they started. I had almost zero temper before that. Recent blood testing revealed a suspicious profile, in that there are none of the usual Lyme co-infections present, a virtually unheard of situation. My results were more consistent with post-viral fatigue, extreme stress, and a past toxic mold exposure. Of course, I am appalled by the way I behave during rages, so it may just be wishful thinking that they could be something I can get rid of. I know many other Lymies who feel that way too.
I am sure that others here would be interested in what you learned from the book, and it does apply to this thread, since he talks a lot about Negs causing depression, at least in the parts I was able to read online.
I totally agree with what you said, and I understand that you meant to describe the way most of the sheeple define "normal". I am so glad you can laugh about it. I tend to cry or blow a gasket, which is only hurting me, not the people I'm frustrated with. I am not too good at being detached, so I am sure I'd be considered to be a broken empath. I wish I knew how to let things go and laugh at them. Normal being crazy and vice versa is another example of how backwards things are on this planet now.
Some interesting language origin info....the word anarchist supposedly means "without archons", which would represent the ideal way to live. (Ref. Mark Passio or the Nag Hamadi) The group of friends whom you don't want to bring this subject up with probably would call the archons by another name, ie. demons, and every culture and time period has different names for them, but we are all referring to the same beings.
Here comes a pep talk.
You said: "I think it's weird that we have to take drugs to act and live like normal people."
I think we should not have to, and would not have to in any sane society. I think we are so heavily programmed in this culture that we don't realize how upside down and backwards everything is. And, you know whose realm that comes from.
As far as I'm concerned, we empaths are the normal humans. If most people were like us, don't you think the world would be a whole lot better?
That we have to take drugs, or isolate ourselves, or make any other accommodations just to live in our culture, shows me how far away from normal this culture is. IMO, we are not the problem. Quite the opposite; we are the only hope of solving the problem.
I will end with one of my favorite quotes from Krishamurti: "It is not a sign of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
Hi Hop Daddy,
I do not use any of those methods except the amber glasses to block blue light. I can't afford to try them, but have heard that WiFi and Microwaves can cause insomnia and wondered if anyone else here had tried them. I don't think I have a problem.
However, when power was off for 6 days during a Hurricane last year, I slept like a normal person! My husband reminded me that I also slept great when we stayed at friends while having our house tented, and they have Wifi on over there. He thinks it was my not having the constantly ringing phone, the email's constant bell like noise, the daily stack of snail mail, etc. to deal with. I never had a day off. I think he is right but cannot prove it. I hope it's not the microwaves doing this to us or 5G will kill us all from insomnia.
I wish I could do more exercise like you do and like I used to do, but I was warned I would have a heart attack if I did anything but light stuff, due to the severe lack of sleep, so I do about 15 mins. of ROM, PT, and Qi Gong first thing in the morning, outside so I can get sunlight in my eyes to try and fix my circadian rhythm (hasn't worked yet and I also use a Verilux light inside for an hour each morning). It is so hot and humid here now, I get sweaty just from spending a few minutes out there. I do light dance aerobics or weight work in the afternoon if I got more than 4 hrs. sleep the night before. Right now it's been a whole week since I got more than 4 hrs.
Melatonin backfires on me unless I cut the tablets down to 1/4 and then bite off just half of that. I am glad it works for you, since it's a whole lot cheaper than the tryptophan and Seriphos I take.
Regarding the insomnia that depression causes, and that some empaths have regardless, has anyone here tried:
1. Painting the bedroom with frequency blocking paint?
2. Sleeping in a Faraday cage?
3. Turning off the breaker to the bedroom at night?
4. Amber glasses for 2 hrs. before bedtime and when getting up at night to block blue light?
I have tried #4 for a few months now and can't say I notice a difference, but I will keep doing it.
Hi Hop Daddy,
I thought your question was excellent, so I looked it up and what I found made me feel a lot better.
First, only 6.6% of coffee is organically grown. That's sad.
Washing reduces pesticides by 14.64-57.69% (that's a wide range!)
Roasting OR brewing (no difference in rate) reduces pesticides by 99.8%.
That is very good news.
Hi Hop Daddy,
I totally agree with you. Coffee, Krill Oil, and B complex were three things that were greatly helping my depression before, as long as I did not have the coffee or B vitamins after noon. I only needed one cup of coffee to get noticeable help. Coffee is loaded with anti-oxidants too. One problem with it is pesticides. I read that just one cup of non-organic coffee has more pesticides than the total of non-organic veggies and fruits most people eat in a whole year!
When I started the withdrawal from benzo drugs, I had to give up both coffee and B Complex and a couple other stimulating supplements, and wow, did that make it worse. The anxiety with withdrawal is off the charts and more like sheer terror. In the beginning, I had panic attacks every time I woke up at night, which was every 1 1/2 hrs., when I could sleep at all.
Now that I am 19 mos. into withdrawal with 3-5 months left to go, the panic attacks have mostly stopped, but I still don't sleep more than 3 1/2 hrs. per night on average, so I can't have coffee. I get vitamins from a green drink mix at lunch....no more synthetics for me.
In case of interest, Maca root seems to give energy w/o shakiness and can help balance out of whack hormones, and if anxiety is caused by high cortisol, Seriphos is a lifesaver for lowering it. If you have a belly that is much larger than the rest of you and you are not pregnant, you are almost surely making too much cortisol. Magnesium and L-tryptophan both help people sleep, and if you do not have high blood pressure, 5HTP is even better. than L-tryptophan. Theanine can help calm you during the day. GABA is low in people with anxiety, but taking GABA orally will not help at all unless you have a leaky blood-brain barrier.
I am going to read your links now. Thank you so much for posting them.
How can you tell when you are dreaming someone else's dream? That is interesting! I wonder if I've done that. I have sometimes seen someone I know in a dream and when they see me they get a shocked look on their face....I wonder if I am doing that too. It might explain why I wake up in a state of fear so often.
From your lips to God's ear!!! I am ready. Back in my hippie college days, I was in a commune and thought I would always live in one. We had the right idea, but most people were not yet in the right place spiritually and slacked off, putting all the work on just a few and ruining the whole movement. Sadly, I do not think enough people have changed yet, but we empaths are naturally responsible and considerate of how what we do affects others, so I believe we could make it work. I sure hope so. Let me know if you ever find such a place.....
Thanks for the input! It's nice to know I am not the only one, and I definitely agree the energy feels a LOT better after 10 PM. This confirmation does make me sad that we can't move to the country like we had planned in retirement. I'll bet I'd feel a lot better back in the boonies. When I lived out in the woods before, I had never heard of an "empath", but that is probably why I felt so much calmer while living there. My non-empath husband doesn't think it would make a difference, but I do.
I don't feel worse from 6-8 pm like you do though. I feel horrible, teary eyed and/or angry, from about 5 am to at least 10 am. Maybe all the tired people getting up to go to work are rubbing off on me.
That reminds me, I saw a video on YouTube once by a couple who belong to an empath group that lives at night. I think they are in either LA or NYC, where that is possible. The group has each other for a social life, and they sleep all day and get up when the sun goes down to enjoy the city at night when far less people are out and about.
Exercise only helps me when I am outdoors, impossible for the next 4 months where I live. Gardening is great, I agree with TL, but I had to stop due to insect sting allergies.
Showers are expensive. H20 costs are outrageous here and showers must be kept as short as possible, not hot, and not every day on a fixed income. Tubs for salt baths rare in this area. Nobody takes baths in this climate.
Music helps, but only the calm meditative kind for me. I use it before bed.
I pull out cords daily if I find them, but wonder how they get in through my shield, which seems very solid now. I do fill the holes with white light and it seems to close them.
Someone here at EC told me my depression is mostly my own. I can see why, due to my illness situation, but some of it must not be mine, or the below would not work......
For me, the biggest help is a late hour, when lots of people have gone to bed. I feel a huge weight lifted off of me than. People who are asleep do not seem to send out energy as much to me. Anyone else find that?
Wow! That is one comprehensive list, thanks for posting it for all of us.
I seem to have 11 of those in varying degrees.
I think I do better with reading strangers because I am emotionally invested in people I know well and maybe do not want to see things I won't like. I also see your point about not needing to do a complete scan with someone you know....that makes sense also.
One I do not have is #17, but I know a lot of people on here are good with crystals. I just don't get a thing from crystals, with the possible exceptions of getting a little positive mood boost from rose and clear quartz. I am looking at the black tourmaline on my desk right now. I talk to it, cleanse it, and charge it, but I think maybe the dark energy coming from the two closest houses, one on either side, is just too much for it, if that is possible, or am I doing something wrong?
Very interesting, thank you.
I have 1,2,4 & 6.
1 & 2 are much stronger for me when strong emotion is involved.
4 & 6 are much stronger with complete strangers.
Physical empathy should be on that list too, IMO, where you pick up symptoms of another person's illness. I have that sometimes, and it's no fun.
I think I know what you mean, and I tend in those cases to try to see signs of the goodness others may not see by looking deeper. If I pick up good things, I turn to the group, and often pick up general feelings of fear of the unknown from them. People who are different scare some people, the kind of people who need a narrowly defined, solid reality to feel safe, and IME, they are in the majority. That sort of person always hangs out in a group if they can, again to feel safe, though they are almost always unaware of why they do it. Bottom line: Conformists with little empathy are most likely to wrongly condemn someone.
The problem is the opposite of yours for me, if I understand what you are saying. I often pick up the opposite of what other people see, since they believe what they see on the surface. I don't know what to do with what I pick up. Let us say I am with 3 people, and we see someone coming. The others just befriended her and tell me she is very nice. I see her aura is full of swirling brown clouds. When I meet her, I feel intense jittery nervousness, and pick up that it's due to covering her lies and the phony act she puts on in public. If I tell those people, they will hate me for it, for many reasons. If I don't tell what I see, they will almost surely be hurt by her in the future. I used to tell. Now I've learned to shut up. It's not my business to save people, though that is very hard to swallow....why have the ability then? It occurs to me maybe this is not empathy but psychic ability, but I don't think it matters what it's called....
It's still being the odd man out and seeing the same situation entirely differently than everyone else there. I hope I got that right. I wish I had a solution for you.
For me the hardest thing by far is that I no longer feel I can trust anyone at all. I am so tired of people looking me right in the eyes and lying to me, or telling me ridiculous excuses for things and expecting me to believe it, even people who know I am an empath and can read people. I can pick up that none of them believe I can actually read them, but unfortunately for me, I really can. I keep my mouth shut, almost never confront anyone, and cry alone, disappointed yet again, and knowing I can't trust that person.
The one time someone told me a bald faced lie and I looked her in the eye and told her exactly what she was really thinking, word for word, as I picked it up from reading her, her eyes got huge and she turned around and ran away from me in terror as fast as she could. She was very afraid of me and has never spoken to me again. In her case, I am very happy about that outcome, but in most cases, I do not want to get rid of the person. I am just sad, and don't understand why everyone lies so much, even when they don't have to, especially people who claim to believe in an afterlife. Just about every medium says that over there you cannot hide anything; everyone sees all you've ever said or done in all your lives! So, why not start being honest now?
@Curious Child - I could have written your last paragraph. Besides dumping a few people who abused me, I have also been dumped by people because I want to talk about ideas and concepts and important subjects, not just small talk, rather than run around doing mindless things all the time. I've also been phased out by people just for for disagreeing with someone once too often, no matter how much I bend over backwards to be tactful, or for wanting to do what I like just once in awhile, instead of always doing what they want to do.
It seems it is no longer allowed to let on that you know more about any subject than anyone else or that you are not an exact clone of them, lol. If you don't let someone keep their ignorance, you are making them feel bad, no matter how nice you are about it. I am not making anyone ignorant. A closed, locked, rusted-shut mind is their own choice. I have been used and hurt so much that I am now done trying. If you are young, I pray you can find a way to come to grips with this better than I have and live the good life you deserve.
For help closing auric holes:
On YouTube, you may want to try the video for Psychic Protection and Aura Cleansing by DrVirtual7. It has been helping me to close the many small holes in my aura that are leaking Chi, brought about by not wanting to be on earth. This video is only 5 mins. long and s/b done daily. You do not need headphones.
Some of my favorite DrVirtual7 videos are the ones on removing consents, cancelling contracts, etc. They even have a 4 hr. long one to interrupt their attempts to attack you that can be played in the background while doing other things. That might be a way for to get some rest from them. I also do a ritual to cancel any contract , past, present or future and in any and all universes, that I have with the earth or with anything not having my best interest at heart, every morning during my Qi Gong. I want out and I do not want to come back! It would have to be my higher self giving permission, because my conscious self definitely does not! I also use the Psychic Protection and Aura cleansing video to help keep my aura solid. Several readers have told me I have tiny holes that are leaking my Chi, typical of souls who have one foot here and one on the other side, lol. I can see that the aura is solid now when I visualize it and it has also changed color, from white to yellow. Some of these are only 5 mins. long, and others are hours long. You can pick what you have time for.
The montalk.net site has weeks of interesting reading. My only problem as an old fart, is that the print is as tiny as the print here at EC (too small!), and it is bright white on a navy background. It really hurts my eyes after awhile and even using extra drops does not help.
I wonder about showers, since Lyme is a disease of extreme toxicity and we get more toxicity from one shower than from drinking tap water for a whole week. We filter our drinking water, but since our city changed from chlorine, which we had filters for on our showers, to chlormonamine, which there are no filters for that I know of, I am worried about long showers. Also, my body has stopped making lubrications of all types; no tears, no saliva, and my skin is like a flaking lizard unless I take short showers, only when necessary with no detergent baby wash, and put on organic moisturizer. I use special drops for the other things mentioned. There is also the outrageous cost of water here. I have friends who've moved elsewhere who tell me their water, sewer, garbage, gas and electric is far less than just water was when they lived here. We are on a low, fixed income and really have to watch every dime. I love long showers and wish I could do what you do. I hope my visualizations are a viable alternative.
I look forward to your post about the book.
Thank you for another excellent link! I will see if my library has this book and anxiously await your thread on it when you get done reading and have tried some of the techniques.
I also want to thank you again for the link to wakeup-world, which is a great website.
In return,I would like to suggest two things I have found helpful:
One is the website of an absolutely brilliant young man who has been targeted by dark entities since childhood. I can see why, since he is whip smart! It goes into who they are, why they are here, what they are up to, etc. His website is montalk.net. He also has some very good videos on YouTube under TomMontalk, including the best and shortest explanation of how the Matrix controls us that I've ever seen.
The other one I highly recommend is Dr.Virtual7 on YouTube. He produces videos using sound frequencies to help with all sorts of things including handling dark entities, especially the A. I. ones. The videos on "Scatter Frequencies for Targeted Individuals" would especially apply in this case. I have also used the Nanobot & Archon eraser videos, since they are a huge part of my problem.
I have only recently, with the help of reading at montalk.net, realized that many of my depressing thoughts and angry feelings may not be my own, and that even my husband's behavior and sudden odd behavior by close friends may be used to try to create surges of negative energy in me for them to feed off and to weaken me. My illness may even be caused by them, as your book suggests.
I would not think I am nearly important enough to be targeted, but two people on EC have told me I have a special mission to fulfill before I can leave earth. I don't know what it is, and it seems unlikely, since I am so sick and I am stuck at home most of the time, but I suppose I might do something on the Internet.
I used to have constant dreams about a future mission involving the end times and the removal of dark entities masquerading as humans, using lightning flashes coming from my fingertips! It sounds like a Marvel comic book, lol. and don't even like comics.
I also have the constant ear ringing just before bedtime that montalk.net warns about. He even explains differences in what it means when it's in your left as opposed to your right ear, but most important is do not fall asleep! Get up and stay up until awhile after it stops. Splash your face with cold water, go out and walk, whatever you have to do. I had no idea how serious that ringing can be or what it could mean.
Do any of you who are being attacked have dreams or visions or ideas about a mission you are supposed to perform that could explain what is being done to you?
You are not alone there! I think this is common for nature empaths. I cried like a baby when the power company hacked away at our large oak tree in the front yard. I talked to it and apologized, and reminded it that I think it is still beautiful. I'm sure most "normals" would think that was crazy!
I have developed life-threatening allergies to stinging insects, but refuse to pull up and kill all my beautiful flowers. I have more flowers than all the other houses in our neighborhood combined and there are 204 houses here! I did give away some of the biggest bee attracters to other gardeners, but otherwise, just spend a lot less time out there than I used to, and watch the butterflies, bees, and birds enjoy the garden from indoors.
P.S. Sharks are actually important to the ecosystem and rarely attack people. Many do not eat people at all, ever.
Where I live, we have lots of alligators, and while they can cause problems for people who live on the water, after people feed them, like grabbing your dog off your lawn, they are usually very wary of us as long as we do not feed them and cause this behavior. Same thing for black bears.
At least where I live, coyotes are a bigger problem, since their predators were all killed off by humans. They have killed off all our possums, raccoons, and lots of the neighbor's cats around here.
The common denominator there is humans messing up the normal order of things. This is getting way off the subject of your thread, sorry.
I hear you! I used to think meat eating was horrible until I saw my husband become deathly ill trying to be vegetarian for me. I had to substitute 6 vegetarian sandwiches for his one meat sandwich, and he still came home from work shaking like a leaf with a pounding headache and weakness.
Some researchers I respect, say that we are all different. Generally, they think people with light eyes and hair and blood types A, AB or B can get away with vegetarianism or even veganism, as long as they supplement with Omega 3 fatty acids and methyl B12 sublingual lozenges, but people with dark hair and eyes and type O blood usually need meat, fish, etc. There are exceptions to that, of course, but I do see that we are not cookie cutters when it comes to food, and both conventional and alternative medicine act like we are.
I do think the way the animals for food industry is conducted is horribly cruel and needs to be changed a lot. Grass fed beef tastes like the bottom of my shoes and costs as much as my shoes too! There has to be a way to make humane, healthy animal farming possible.
I have Lyme Disease, and virtually 100% of Lyme specialists require you to go on a paleo diet to treat your Lyme, one of several reasons I do not see one. I cannot do a Paleo diet. I need and can handle only enough meat to keep my ferritin level high enough to transport my thyroid medication. (Ferretin is your stored iron level and is essential to thyroid function). I eat ground beef twice a week to do that, eat prunes, and use an iron fortified cereal. I am a hypocrite, so I eat ground beef. I cannot eat a steak, or chicken thighs, etc. or eat anything that looks like an animal, but can't keep my ferretin up w/o a little beef. It is a Catch-22!
Another issue is anthropomorphism (attributing human character to animals over other living things in nature because they look more like us). IMO, it is intellectually lazy. Research has proven that plants "scream" when we pull them out of the ground or cut off their branches or pull off their fruits. You can look this up and it is very interesting.
I think most empaths realize more than others that everything is alive and that we all kill other living things constantly to stay alive ourselves. Every second we breathe, we kill millions of tiny living organisms we cannot see by sucking them into our lungs and burning them alive. This is a very cruel set up here on planet earth, one reason why I think this is probably hell, if there is one.
I do not want to get into arguments with people over this. I am too sick to spend energy on arguing. This is just my two cents, and you can ignore it if you disagree. Blessings to all, whatever your beliefs...
Yes, people eat lots of turkeys, and wild ones are much healthier and better tasting too. They are hard to shoot, because wild turkeys are much smarter than domestic ones that are bred on farms, which are killed a different way. Because they are so hard to shoot, lots of misses are likely, and those stray bullets can go a long way, up to a mile in some cases!
Hunting that close to occupied housing is illegal because people could definitely get hurt, pets could be shot by mistake, property could be damaged, etc. The game warden will put a stop to it. People like that give others who are just trying to get food and doing it in with safety in mind a bad name.
I read your paragraph about the idiots trying to shoot turkeys near your home to my husband, who is an avid shooter, and used to hunt turkey a lot before our area turned into one gigantic, noisy metro area that goes on forever (ugh!).
He told me that is definitely illegal in all states. He says you don't call police for that. It is the Game Warden. It is usually called the Dept. of Fish and Game or something like that. You can Google it for your state.
He says there is a definite limit on distance from occupied buildings that is much farther than anybody's front yard. Usually it is at least 100 yards. Every state is different, and I am pretty sure you do not live in our state, from your description of the outdoor plants there, so I can't tell you what it is where you are. Bullets can travel incredible distances, so please do follow up on this. I am concerned for you and all of your neighbors.
Yes, exactly. No phone ringing from 7 am to 11 pm, so that we have to turn them off at 9 pm to get any sleep, no email pinging all day, no piles of snail mail full of bad news to handle each day, no loud TV, no neighborhood noise. It was SO quiet once the storm hit and passed, which didn't take long, but left a real mess! (A friend also suggested I may have ELF sensitivity like she does, but I had the same relaxed feelings when staying at a friend's home for 3 days while having our home tented for termites, and the power was on then.)
I used to live in a national forest, a perfect place for an empath, but as I said, I did not know I was one. I had been told all my life I was "high strung".
I was told I had to move to an urban area, at least 50 miles south of a line drawn across Florida, where the temperate zone ends and the semi-tropics begin. Either that, or the mainland of Alaska (not the southeastern part, which would have made my now life-threatening allergies even worse).
As you know, many empaths, and I now realize that includes me, just cannot stand urban environments, and it is far worse in a climate like this where people are always outdoors making noise and lawns need mowing weekly all year round. In addition, I am in a place with limited land mass, almost totally surrounded by water, so loads of people are crammed close together here. Before I realized that I could never get used to this, I married someone whose livelihood depended upon being in an urban area where he could get customers for his business. He has finally had to retire, but we are both in too much pain to function out in the boonies anymore, far away from docs and hospitals. I have not even been able to drive for many years now.
Have you ever been in a situation where all that endless outside stimulus was removed for a period, to see if it relaxed you, or if it was at home like our storm, did you find that it lessened some of the strange experiences that have been going on in your house?
Well, I have to disagree somewhat, with all due respect. I had beliefs like that up until I was at least 50 yrs. old, so I do understand where you are coming from, and I think whatever helps you make it through this stint on the looney bin called earth is great. As a former therapist, I would suggest a visit to an inpatient psych ward, if you want to see people who have been given so much to deal with that they are not stronger, but broken. Catatonics are especially sad to me, curled up in corners, rocking back and forth, hugging themselves, simply unable to deal with the world any longer. I can empathize with that.
I am having a complete nervous breakdown right now, due to undergoing drug withdrawal from a prescribed drug which is killing those who try to go off it, and is said to be the most difficult of all drugs to get off of, combined with a slowly, terminal illness that is shutting down every system in my body and causing me to be homebound and isolated at a time when I have inexplicably become much more extraverted, an unwanted, painful development. The disease I have is known for changing personality as it slowly eats the brain, but I sure did not need this type of change! I just hope my openness helps someone else.
I used to be the strongest person I know, and my childhood friends, who haven't seen me in ages but are the only ones who've stuck with me, even after I listened to doctors who told me to move to the awful place far away from home that I now live in, still think I am super strong, so I do not get the support I need. They keep saying things like "If anybody can do this, it is you" and "you've always been far stronger than I am". That is no longer true, but they still remember me as I was. I am broken and depressed = I need deep rest, but adult responsibilities won't let me off the damn treadmill. Our society makes us ashamed to admit how much we are hurting, so we all hurt in silence, alone, and that is just plain wrong, IMO. It is our society that is so very sick that anyone compassionate may find it intolerable, sooner or later. My own husband says he feels like he is watching me drown but he doesn't know how to swim.
Needless to say, I hope you never end up like this, but it does illustrate that age is not just a number. It can seriously change the point of view for many of us, plus every generation has a collective experience that influences their point of view. I said it would never do that to me, but am now eating my words. I've tried a few friendships with people young enough to be my daughter, but just cannot bridge the huge gaps in things that are perceived so differently. At least I am open to learning new things, unlike most of my old pals. A strong confirmation bias sets in once the brain is done growing, between age 25-35, and it is a rare person who changes significantly after that. One reason so many people are anxious/depressed now, IMO, is that way too much change is being thrown at us for the human brain to handle with it's current hardware. That is a whole other subject to discuss!
To get back to the point of your thread, I agree with that stress can temporarily kill the creative urge, since I've certainly experienced that. I also have more than 6 hrs. per day of medical chores just to keep going another day, and get too worn out to do anything that is not absolutely necessary. A power failure last fall during a hurricane stopped the intrusion of the outside world for 6 whole days, and was a wonderful respite, so I agree with hop-daddy about vacations and would add that whatever you plan to do when retired....do it NOW, because only 17% are healthy like they thought they'd be at retirement!
The sad thing, is I made those choices that put me out on that high branch with no net based on knowledge of "truths" I now know to be false, and also based on who I was then, but my personality has inexplicably changed a lot, so that I am suffering from choices that did not bother me before, but can no longer see a way to change them. It really is true that when you've got your health, you've got everything and vice versa. I hope that made sense.
The main way in which I royally screwed up was to use logical thinking to make choices, instead of choosing what my heart and soul really wanted and taking a chance that it might somehow work out. I did not know I was an empath back when I made the one huge mistake that ruined my life, resulted in my getting very sick, and by the time I realized I would not get better, too sick to reverse the decision.
I know young people roll their eyes when old farts like me give advice, but what else are we good for at my age, lol? So, here it comes, unwanted or not! I hope you'll take advantage of being empathic to always go with your gut/heart, especially if you have a family, so that you have a soft place to fall if you do fail. I did not have family and was afraid of ending up on the street if my choices failed. Still, I should have gone for it anyway, and I can clearly see that now, when it's too late. Please don't make my mistake; I could never have imagined how miserable I'd end up being when I followed the "experts" advice instead of listening to my own emotional needs.
Thank you for saying that. I have a problem with that very thing, partly because my "unfortunate circumstances" have lasted for way too long and no good choices present themselves. I used to believe that bad would always ultimately result in good, but am now in a state of smoldering anger and "enough already!!!". Maybe the lesson is patience, but I'm getting awfully old...
I see life as like climbing a tree. As you go up, you keep choosing one branch over another and once you reach where I am, you are waving back and forth on a very high limb with no more branches left to choose from, and no way to get down, unless a drone comes along and drops a parachute your way, lol. Or to put it another way, I've made my bed and now have to lie in it.
So, I am realistically looking to learn acceptance at this point. Another hard one, at least for me, since not being able to climb anymore takes away all hope of it changing. Acceptance and the non-attachment that precedes it are valuable lessons though.
Yes, that's exactly what I mean.....that robotic feeling can spread a pall over your whole life and separate you from being able to tap into your creative urge, if not careful. I am glad you've never been stuck in a situation where you have no choice about it. I pray that never happens.
I can only speak for myself, but in college I wrote loads of poetry, mostly very esoteric stuff. That way, nobody but me could tell if it was good, since they probably couldn't understand it, lol. I also drew, sculpted and painted a lot, and minored in Fine Arts.
I no longer do any of those things. I was urged to write a book a few yrs. ago, got 26 pages in and stopped. A friend sent me paint and canvasses this year, and I was just PO'd at her for wasting money. I used them, but really didn't enjoy it much. It took me a very long time to figure out where the artistic muse went, but I think I may know now....
For me, it seems that I have a limited amount of energy to expend and the demands of adult life have put me in a position where all the available energy I have goes to things that must be done, and that I mostly do not like doing, many that I despise so much they make me cry, but there is nobody else to do them. That is a major energy drain, since it seems like doing things we dislike takes way more energy. This creates an overall cynical mood, if you get my drift.
Do you have a lot of "shoulds" and "musts" in your life? Maybe a job you do for money but that kills your spirit? I remember someone once telling me to be careful what I did for a living while trying to get a job in my field, because I would become what I did, if I did it long enough. All of those things and more can siphon off the energy you could otherwise use to be creative, as well as squashing the creative fire, or at least seems to have done that to me. Anyone else feel that way?
What a fascinating thread!
I used to think problems with electronics were caused by Mercury retrograde. This opens up a lot of other possibilities.
Very much agree about animals. I always trust them, even over my own intuitions, though there usually is no conflict there.
- thanks for posting that link! The article was fascinating and I looked at one of the author's books, which led me to another author who has books on Archontic attachment, which has been my recurring problem. wakeup-world looks like an interesting website too....
I have some hope now, in the form of CBD capsules. It took trying 5 different kinds just to find one that helps the pain, anxiety and depression. I can't believe the change in my thought patterns already from negative to positive! I can't do what your Avatar is doing, lol, since THC makes me so paranoid and dizzy I can't even move, but CBD alone is really helping, now that someone told me about these capsules made with coconut. I could not tolerate the alcohol in tinctures. Research shows many brands have no CBD in them, but loads of contaminants, so research is essential.
I still pick up on happy energy when I encounter it, but like you, I encounter it a lot less often. Sadly, when I do find it, it often is due to that person not being the sharpest knife in the drawer. After all, if a person is unaware of all the nasty stuff going on, it does not upset them.
Like you, I pick up more and more negative energy, but I think it may to some extent reflect more awareness that "reality" is a lie, which could be good. On the other hand, societal programming is definitely pushing us towards admiring toughness and even psychopathy, which is alarming.
Isolation didn't used to bother me much, but now it does. For some reason I cannot comprehend, I am becoming far more extraverted as I get sicker, which makes it much harder for me. It seems we empaths are like push-pull toys in that we want to help people, and we only want truly intimate relationships, but we don't really like people all that much, lol.
I will save you from looking it up...The Nag Hamadi is as important as the Dead Sea Scrolls. This is an oversimplification, but it is basically the Christian era story as the Gnostics told it before they were persecuted. It was buried in the desert and was found and made public before the church got their hands on it and removed anything that would reduce their power. It contains the Gospel of Thomas, for example. The differences are very interesting!
I am sorry you are bothered by nosey people. When they ask the questions that are none of their business, you might try saying: "Now, why would you ask that"? That can throw it back at them.
I am the last person to help with the nosey people problem unfortunately! I am a totally open person (too much, I'm told) and can't really understand why people want to keep who they really are to themselves, when we will be on the other side soon, where everyone can see every thought you've ever had in past, present and future lives and every deed you've ever done.
Yes, my openness is one reason why I get hurt so much, but it also allows me to sift out the bad guys quickly, since they come in for the kill quickly when they see I'm so open. Now that I have more ability to read them, I agree with you that I won't need to be as open to weed them out, so I will have to learn to zip my lip like you do. I also can't read people I can't see, so I will be much more cautious with online friendships. Since I am homebound now, they are an important part of what is left of my life, but after recent events, I've cut my computer time in half, and am focusing more on other things.
I have the opposite problem from your nosey people problem! Nobody wants to ask me anything, unless it's to dump their personal toxic family stuff on me once in a blue moon when they can't find anybody else. I can't get a good conversation going for the life of me, except with my spouse, and I thank God for him. People actually seem to be afraid of me when I bring up a topic that interests me and that requires having an open mind, like UFOs, time travel, parallel universes, etc. It's like using a few brain cells might kill them, lol! I make friends with online people who act like they love discussing these things, but as soon as they get comfy, all attempts to discuss things that matter are ignored, and the same old personal stuff starts that I could get from talking up one of my neighbors.
I am also subject to the INFJ fade, if you know what that is....happens to me all the time, even with new face to face friends. Other women meet me and act like they are in love or something, bringing me flowers and presents and throwing compliments about how kind and caring and spiritual I am. It's ridiculous, since I am flawed like we all are. Then, they slowly find out I won't go to loud concerts, or to the beach (crowded and very hot) shopping (I'm not materialistic at all and can't stand crowds), I won't watch romance movies, and I want to BE rather than DO. I want to talk about things they have never heard of, ie. I am an egghead, a brainiac. So, they slowly fade away, keeping in touch just enough to be able to contact me again if they need help.
Just by typing that, I may have thought of a way to help you with nosey people. Just bring up subjects like I do, UFOs, the paranormal, other dimensions, ghosts, The Nag Hamadi or the gnostic Bible, Tibetan Book of the Dead, anything that will scare them, and I can almost guarantee you it will scare that type of person. I bet they won't bother you again.
Thanks so much for the kind words. I agree with you about it not being who you expect to help you that does help you. I had a friend who had been quadriplegic from an accident and was told it was permanent, who lost most of his friends as a result, but eventually fully recovered! He warned me when I first got sick that I was about to find out who my real friends were and that they would not be at all who I thought they were. I was so glad he warned me, because he was so right. Two of my casual friends, one of them him, were immensely helpful to me, while the friend I had talked to every day after work for years and seen every weekend was totally absent. I take friendship seriously and it took me another 2 yrs. to totally remove her from my life. Like most empaths, I think friendship should be for life and it came as a shock to me to find out most people don't think that way.
The successful suicide rate for the disease I have is a whopping 26%, but so far I've been too much of a coward, plus I have a huge incentive to try to stay, because my husband cannot possibly live without our combined income. Also, in the U.S., the safest, surest methods that hurt others the least are not available...I've done lots of research on it. I wish I lived closer to Mexico, so I at least had a good option, since that alone might help me hang on longer, just knowing it was there.
I would really love to hear how a stranger turned your whole life around! That sounds like an amazing story. I'll bet a thread asking those of us with such experiences to tell would result in a lot of uplifting stories. I don't know about anyone else, but I need to hear more about the good people out there to counter all the garbage I am picking up from people and having so much trouble releasing, as well as ideas on how to accept the way people are so different from me that I feel like an alien. I am very glad to know you had such a helpful angel in your life.
As a former therapist, I can easily see how empaths can be misdiagnosed, esp. with all the new diagnoses now days like Bipolar Type II, an iffy diagnosis to begin with, IMO. I can also see how the opposite might happen. This topic really interests me, since I have a mental health diagnosis that is partly due to very real rotten life circumstances, and therefore is not abnormal at all, but mostly due to my being an empath, IMO. Is that abnormal? I would say not, and I think the world would be a LOT better if everyone were like us. How much of "mental illness" do you think is just a more expansive form of consciousness?
As some of you know, I am very slowly dying of a chronic illness. As I get sicker, my abilities are ramping up, and now I read people involuntarily any time they feel strong emotions. For me, it takes the form of seeing what they really think and feel like a TV screen imposed over their foreheads. What I have seen has dismayed me to no end. So much selfishness, conceit, a false, angry superiority, a lack of caring or even listening, extreme closed-mindedness, lying, pretending to like me so they can keep the door open to use me, etc. I can see auras the same way, only in those who are feeling strong emotions. There are a lot of brown, gray and black ones. The clean, golden ones are mostly around people who are very naive and do not pick up anything from others, ie. ignorance really is bliss! I would freak out if I kept seeing a stranger in the shower like spiritualskies, yikes!
Protection stones and stones that help with compassion, magnesium, grounding, closing all chakras except root and crown, watching a daily video to heal my own aura of holes, etc. have not helped, though I continue to do all the rituals each morning, and I isolate even more than my illness has already isolated me as a result of being so disappointed in people, and in myself for not being able to accept them as they are. CBD oil helps the most, but only helps the physical pain for me. I cannot handle THC at all. Other calming herbs/supps. have proved too weak, except for Seriphos, which I rely on to sleep at all.
As some of you also know, I am also going through voluntary withdrawal from the hardest of all drugs to get off of, which I was prescribed for 33 yrs. for muscle spasms due to my illness. I do not want to take addiction karma with me to the other side and have to come back to get rid of it. My doctor warned me it might kill me, and he may be right. This has made me 100 times more sensitive than I already was, since there are zero brakes on my nervous system now. I agree with whoever said that sleep is important. I have not slept much for the entire 17 mos. of withdrawal so far, with many left to go, and the consequences are awful in so many ways, it would take a book to list them all.
The ARNP who is monitoring me while I taper the drug, says neither therapy nor drugs will help, because my "double depression" is due to an existential crisis combined with genetics, which I agree with. She did genetic tests which showed I have a defect in transport of the happy hormone, serotonin, which is why anti-deps don't work for me. She says therapy doesn't work well on existential crises. I used to be a behavioral therapist in my other life before the illness, and I agree with her on that. I also have an "adjustment disorder", which means I over-react to the situation I am in, and I credit that to being an empath. I could not find a group therapy I could afford. I am a big believer in having others who are going through the same thing help, since no amt. of book learning can make up for experience, IMO.
I wish I was emotionally numb to help me cope! I am SO much the opposite that I jump when the phone rings, and I even cringe when the mail comes. At least I know what mail is...I've read blogs and seen videos by others going off these drugs who had to be taken care of 24/7 for awhile and lost everything, and most of them are not empaths. About 3 wks. ago now, I came within a few minutes of ending it all. I found out who my real friends were when I told them that. That hurt too, especially since out of only 12 friends I had left after being sick so long, the only 2 who did not reach out immediately and strongly were two out of the three friends who claim to be empaths!
So, I am here, posting to those who are going through the same thing, though I pray none of you are as sick as I am on top of being empathic. How do you all deal with the disappointment in the way most people are. I was a lot happier when I didn't know and I trusted everybody because I had no idea they could not do what I could do for the longest time (!), but I realize that I can't unsee any of this, and I have to go through this, or my life is a lie. Sorry this got so long.
Thanx to any who actually read all this, C. Cat
I found some excellent Aura repair and Lyme Rife killing frequencies on YT and have been listening daily. There are other ones I found that remove the type of entity the healer says I have as well. She continues to remove them from me as well. I am sleeping 5-6 hrs. now., but have another dosage cut this Saturday night and another doctor's appt. I don't want to go to, but must, next week, so we will see if it holds.
Recent "INFJ fades" by so-called friends still hurt. I was there when they were desperate, in one case for several years on a daily basis, but as usual, it only works one way. So, the depression is not better. CBD helps the anxiety, but I can't afford to take it regularly.
I went back to helping others with Lyme online to take my mind off my troubles, but that is hard too, since I see how little progress has been made since I first got sick, and only the very rich can afford treatment. It kills me how the state controlled media ignores the biggest pandemic in the world. China alone has 1.4 billion people with Lyme disease now.
I agree with you we must watch what we ask for. I have learned to be very specific! It has backfired on me when I am not. I hope you have made progress in riding yourself of the entities.
Just listened to an audio on You Tube for Entity Removal, posted by Anthony Sommer. 5:27 long. Seemed to be doing something. Very strange sounds!
Yes, I have auric holes. A well known psychic told me long ago that I had a lot of holes in my aura that are leaking chi. She said this pattern is often seen in those who have one foot in this world and one in the next, since they really don't want to be here on earth. Bingo!
We also have a portal in our bedroom. It is closed now, hopefully for good, and exists on a different time plane, so those that come through it cannot even see us, though we can see them. I don't worry so much about it now that I know that. I wondered why they paid no attention to me when I was sitting up in bed staring at the black shadows of humans walking along our west bedroom wall.
Yes also to it being part of my medical problem. The healer helping me said I have tick-like bugs attached all over me, and she had to pull them out. That jives perfectly with my having Lyme Disease.
My auric cracks are there due to my not wanting to be here. Not sure what to do about that, since it is true. I guess figuring out why your daughter has such cracks would be a good next step in knowing how to fight it. I am glad she is gaining confidence. That has to be a good thing!
Thank you for posting this update. I am so sorry your family is having to deal with this. I can use what you posted to help myself. The healer helping me says that despite removing many entities from me, I still have more, and that she finds we get more as we get older. I am used to saying a prayer for protection, and use white light every morning as a cleanser. Obviously not working, so I will look up alternate ways to use it for this specific purpose. Thank you and please keep us posted!
Yes, grid lines and ley lines are usually meant to be the same thing. You can easily find a map of world ley lines online, showing how all major ancient monuments line up directly on them. Our ancestors weren't so "primitive" after all, lol.
Some might use the world grid very differently though, to denote the prison grid around the planet to keep the human herd in the matrix. That grid is often said to be broadcast from the moon, which is considered to be a spaceship in disguise. As an aside, as nutty as that may sound, scientists do say that according to what we now know, the moon simply cannot be there. It is much too big to be a natural satellite of this planet!
I would guess that in this context, your Shaman means the same thing as ley lines.
I looked for local Shamen near me and found one very near who is somewhat reasonable in his charges, but I have no idea how to tell if someone is any good or a scammer. Even before my vibe got so low, I could never read other receivers, only senders.
Thank you so much for the kind words. Ditto back at ya!
Your post alarmed me. I am awake due to a heart arrhythmia attack called PSVT caused by worry over how to handle that procedure when I am this ill, which almost caused me to need an ambulance. I am going to have to cancel it. I simply can't do it now, while in drug withdrawal, and will have to wait for another year or longer if needed. My spirit simply refuses to tolerate any more of conventional medicine's profit making torture.
I agree about anti-depressants and am glad you warned people. They are the second hardest to get off after what I am on (benzos). I can't take them anyway, since they don't work for me, due to a genetic mutation that 28% of people have. This particular withdrawal removes all the breaks from my nervous system as the slow down neurotransmitter, GABA is removed, so there is no small stuff for me to not sweat now. Everything is sheer terror 24/7 until/unless my GABA receptors come back online. That is why most people cannot handle the withdrawal. This drug destroys lives, but Upjohn Pharmaceuticals will never have to pay a dime for their lies.
My first diagnosis was MS, then Fibromyalgia, then after 21 years of slowly worsening symptoms, finally Lyme. Anyone with those symptoms should be properly checked for Lyme, the fastest growing illness in the world, far surpassing breast cancer already and grossly under diagnosed. Proper dignosis is very hard, but it can be treated if you are not yet in stage III, have lots of money, and are not allergic to almost all antibiotics like me. I would suggest lymenet.org. Go to "flash discussion", and ask for names of LLMD's in your area under the find a doctor forum there. Regular docs hardly ever know what they are doing. Lyme can cause every psychiatric or physical problem you can imagine and some that do not fit any definitions. If your pains migrate or are referred from one place to another, those are especially red flags. Facial twitches or a knee that swells are also red flags.
I need to try to do some vagus nerve breathing to help my condition now. I am praying you will follow up on this and make sure you do not have Lyme. Do not let some uninformed doctor do an Elisa test and say you are negative. They miss more than 50% of cases, since they are so time sensitive.
Yep, suicidal describes me perfectly. I have to fight it all the time now. I hope your daughter never comes close to that point. The legally prescribed drug I am now withdrawing from can make people that way all by itself, since the withdrawal is harder than getting off any other drug and takes away all your happy hormones.
I read a blog about 7 young, female doctors who tried to withdraw from the same drug I am, which is still the most prescribed drug in the world with a market growing at 12% per year, a crime if there ever was one. The one writing the blog had to close her practice for 4 yrs. and have full time nursing care to make it. The other 6 committed suicide! I can't afford a Shaman, let alone nursing care. I am very glad you can afford it and I pray it resolves all of this.
My husband has no idea how to help me and says he feels like he is watching someone drown when he doesn't know how to swim. The "therapist" who regulates the pills as I taper them, is a nurse practitioner who spends 5 mins. with me every 3 months. Add slowly, torturously, terminal Lyme Disease and all the organ damage it causes, friends deserting me, financial trouble, and health problems of my husband, and this attack by dark entities feels like the last straw.
I can't believe in a God who would punish someone for just being in too much pain to handle a cruel, upside down world like this any longer. However, your daughter is much too young to have all the doors closed on her story. I also feel the lights are good, and just curious observers, as I said at first. Maybe there is a way to enlist their help, since they seem to exist on a higher level....
That is so sad. It is similar to what I was told by a healer who kindly volunteered to try to help me with my entity problem., ie. that I have a special mission to fulfill before I can go home like I want to, and the entities are trying to prevent my doing it. She also saw what would best be described as astral tick-like bugs attached all over me, interestingly horrible, since I have late-stage Lyme Disease. A metaphysical aspect of it, perhaps, or the real cause of it...I don't know.
I am very sorry your daughter has so much trouble with basic functioning. I have the same problem, but it must be much harder at her age. I went to a doctor's appt. today and was kept waiting 2 1/2 hrs. past my appt. time in an unbearably hot room with no apology and only 5 mins. time with a doctor who was new to me. The last time I saw a doctor, I was kept waiting 4 hrs. past my appt. time! This stuff never happens to my husband. When I finally got home, I started crying uncontrollably and couldn't stop for over 2 hours! I have to go to outpatient surgery in two days very early in the morning when I am always quite sick anyway, and don't see how I can survive it. I really want to cancel, but know I am overdue for this procedure. Just a simple thing to most people, but now it feels like trying to climb a snow covered mountain, naked, while fasting! My reaction to it feels like being possessed. I hope your daughter is not too afraid and that her strong abilities are helping her cope.
I may have another good cry on behalf of your daughter. I so hope and pray she can beat this thing, and soon. I wonder also if these energies are picking on the very young like her, and the very old and ill, like me, since we are easier to upset, thus creating the lower vibrational energy they feed on. This is severely stressing my belief in a God who gives a damn about us humans. I cannot see why the set up here on earth is so violent and cruel and the good guys never get any help, when the playing field is clearly so uneven. These 4th density entities know exactly what they're attacking, but we have almost no idea what they are and what they can do, though I've seen the types that are attacking me on the astral in the past. I've also found videos on the Archons and on The Reincarnation Soul Trap helpful, though I never knows what to believe anymore. I've been fooled so often. I am very glad you found a Shaman you feel you can trust who has already improved the situation. That must be a huge relief.
I understand, as I am also being bombarded by entities now (definitely dark ones) and it is seriously messing me up. I hope she can free your daughter from this torture. I wonder why they are attacking so extra hard at this time.....I know the theories, but there are so many differing ones.
As I said, I do not see things like this, with one exception when I saw astral spiders one time. I just got an impression when reading it, so I passed it along.
If I were you, I'd try telling this "man" that you are from source and he is not, so he has no business with you and should leave. I would keep repeating that over and over, and annoy him with it the same way he annoys you.
If you do not know what Archons are, I would get familiar with that idea, since this morphing stuff sounds like one of their tricks to me, and I do have lots of experience with them, unfortunately. It is not a pleasant subject, so be prepared. YouTube is probably the best place to learn about them. There are dozens of videos on them.
I hope womanwhowalks sees your post. This seems more up her alley than mine.
I also hope someone can answer hop-daddy's original question.
P.S. This is wacky, but I am seeing an orb that visits your bedroom, very bright white but with a kind of orangish tinge around the edges, hanging around the ceiling over near the bathroom, and he says he is a child energy. He says he is playing with his new abilities to peek in on people now that he is "dead"!
I have no experience with this phenomena, so I'm sure others will pick up much more detail. I do not feel like these lights are bad at all, but just curious, and the time they show up is the time when the portal is most open for them to do so. I feel a childish, impishness from them also! I also am being prompted to ask whether you live on ley lines by any chance?