Just want to let you know that Hana did a great job on my reading and I highly recommend her. She is not afraid to call it like she sees it, which I really, really appreciate.
I cannot recommend the Seth books enough. The first two, "Seth Speaks" and "Seth On The Nature of Personal Reality" are my favorite metaphysical books of all time, and I've read just about everything written since then.
I really like it that Jane Roberts had no reason to make them up for money. Channeling was not understood or accepted at all back then and she died young and poor. Seth's explanation of what really happened at Calvary makes a lot more sense than the Bible, IMO. I wore out my first set of the books and had to buy another.
I don't necessarily accept all of it without question, since you never know who you are channeling for sure, and I really resonate with the "turds of karma" ideas lately, since that also makes sense to me, based on all I've learned since reading Seth so long ago. The Turds of Karma contradicts a lot of what Seth says, so I guess we have to read all sides and make up our own minds, while leaving them open to future info that could change them.
I definitely agree with hop-daddy about seeing the Matrix all around and feeling so alone since most people I know are oblivious to it.
Hi again @hana,
It would not allow me to PM you and appears to have added me to your page w/o your approval (sorry), while not adding you to mine, so I had to comment on your wall about it.
I noticed someone else had also tried and could not PM you.
So, I have started a ticket with Elise to get this problem fixed.
If you are looking for people with serious problems to read, I am your gal! My life is a wreck in every area and I've been diagnosed with double depression, as if one wasn't enough, lol.
How do you do your readings? I have FaceTime and Google Hangouts on my Mac, but have to use an old laptop for Skype and have forgotten how to do it, it's been so long. Or, if you chose me, could I just email you a recent pic? That would be easiest.
I will PM you with my email, and if you don't feel like reading me you can just let me know.
Hi Lilly again,
I forgot to say that I have noticed an astonishing number of us have Fibromyalgia on this forum. Ever since I read Dr. Devin Starlanyl's big book on Fibromyalgia, in which she explains that some Indian tribes consider FM to be a gift from God and confer automatic Shamanhood on members who get it, I have wondered if the heightened sensitivity and eternal vigilance of the sympathetic part of the autonomic nervous system found in FM is what gives us our abilities. Something to think about.......
What do they mean by "your aura is wide open"?
Do they mean you have no shielding? Do they mean you have tiny holes all over it that are leaking chi? (That is what I was told).
Did they provide a solution, or is it even a problem?
Yes, I do feel we are easily broken, but only because the world is full of hard, cruel people. If everyone was like us, I think it would be a lot more like a garden of Eden.
I know you have a very good Endocrinologist, so I am assuming you've been checked for Type 2 and 3 hypothyroidism aka subclinical H-P-A axis type. I am sure she's checked for Type 1 aka Hashimoto's Disease. I hope she's also checked you for SLE aka Lupus and I am sure basic labs would show any other kidney problems. I only mention it, because I have seen people on this forum assume something is spiritual before without even checking to see if it might be physical first, and that scares me!
You've gotten excellent advice. I would add only that our bodies often bear the brunt of such pain, and that can create a vicious circle of problems that feed on each other. I would like to see you do some reading on adrenal fatigue .
There are concrete things to do and supplements to take to treat that and the sadness, which may help you in trying to break this cycle.
Also, the word depressed can broken down into "deep rest' and you sound like you need some, so isolating for a reasonable time to recover may be just what you need. When it's gone on much too long, then healing your adrenals, gut, thyroid and any other affected areas, and rewiring your brain so you don't go over and over negative thoughts all the time may be needed too. I am exactly at this place myself now. It is very hard work, but you know what they say..... the only way out is through.
I feel exactly the same. I often say I feel like my top layer of skin has been scraped off and the raw underside is exposed. I once got a birthday present of a session with a famous psychic. The very first thing he said to me was; "You are sensitive, in every way, to the nth degree." When I was young, this was called being "high strung".
Have you got a diagnosis for your pain problem? You may be interested, if medically inclined at all, to look up "sympathetic dominant dysautonomia" which is what I think most of us who are hypersensitive to pain have. It is usually diagnosed by doctors as fibromyalgia. As a result, I think anything we can do to calm down our H-P-A axis is helpful. Meditation would be one thing, quiet another, time in nature, a lack of drama, removal of toxic people, constant daily routines in life, etc. should all help and do help me, though outside interference does take it's toll, doesn't it? I am not sure what to do about that except win the lottery so we can afford to hide and bring what we want to us, lol.
@Lastars - The holistic therapist helping me with my drug withdrawal prescribed an earthing mat for me to sleep on, but I had not looked into it yet. I watched the video link you posted and also read the comments, where I found something very helpful to someone on a fixed income like me.....one commenter said the problem is rubber soled shoes and that natural footwear on the ground, not pavement, will help you almost as much as going barefoot, and while it hurts me to walk in them, I have a pair of soft, very thin soled 100% leather moccasins that I used to wear all the time before I developed foot bone deformities. I will try that first and see what it does. At this time of year there are no fire ants, so I will go w/o socks. Thanks for reminding me of this.
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@TigerLily - Lyme can be easily cured in Stage I in only 3 weeks, so if you know you are bitten, which often you don't ,since the tick anesthetizes you first, try to save the tick to have it tested and get to a doctor right now, no matter how good you feel! It can also be cured if caught in Stage II and the person is under 25 so they have plenty of growth hormone, is otherwise healthy and gets multiple, changing intravenous antibiotics for at least 18 months, though some will have to take them the rest of their lives. I know someone who got correctly diagnosed in Stage II who works full time and runs marathons, but if he misses even 3 days of antibiotics, he is bedridden. I was not correctly diagnosed until late Stage III, by which time I had several other diseases caused by Lyme indirectly and was way too old to recover. I am a walking miracle as it is, since I was told I could die at any time in 1988, was put on terminal disability in 1994 and told they could not believe I was able to walk with so much brain damage, and was told again, after developing yet another disease caused by it, that I would never live past age 63 max. I am now almost 67. My study of Naturopathy and resulting massive supplementation, and my self-discipline to keep at all the things I do every day to help limit my suffering is what I credit with my lasting this long. Lyme steals 2/3 of your nutrition for itself, so you must take in 3 times what a normal person does to keep going. Junk food is out, period. The costs of all these supplements cannot be borne much longer however. I am spending a couple hundred per month just on supplements to get me through the hell of drug withdrawal, all to get off a drug that cost me 15 cents a month. Big Pharma makes it cheap to be addicted. I was also told the drug was not addicting and it has turned out to be more addicting than heroin. Typical. I've been in withdrawal for 13 months now and have about 6 months left to go, getting off a fairly low dose, it is that hard to get off. 11% of America takes this class of drugs. It is much easier to get off opiates....I did it cold turkey after 12 yrs. on them at the start of my illness. I was very sick for half a day, and in bed for two weeks, then fine. If I tried that with the drug I am getting off of now, I'd be dead in less than one day. The stress of this has thrown several body systems way out of whack. My adrenals, pancreas and thyroid are totally messed up.
I hate to be a bummer, but as Lastars said, there are things going on most people don't know and educating people is one of my missions. One thing is that this disease is very old and the bug has more than 300 strains that have never gone epidemic before. The strain of Lyme that has now become the fastest growing epidemic in the world was created by a Nazi scientist, working for the US govt. at Plum Island Bioweapons lab, and is part of the UN Agenda 21 depopulation agenda. It was let lose on purpose and went downwind to the closest land, which was the town of Lyme, CT, for which it is now named. The actual bug that causes it is called Borrelia. The book about this is called "Lab 257: Plum Island" and is very well-researched. Over half the book is footnotes. It is available in most libraries. There is a news blackout about this and many other subjects, as I'm sure you know. Our govt. is not spending a dime trying to cure us, but is spending $55 billion to build a new bioweapons facility in Kansas to study Lyme, since they've been so successful with it.
I hope I haven't bored you with all this info. I don't want other people to end up like me, and accept the common misdiagnoses that are so prevalent, due to doctor's ignorance, but so many people have this and do not know it. There are over 300,000 new cases that are correctly diagnosed in the US alone every year now and the estimate is close to ten times as many carriers. In healthy folks, it just sits and waits for your immunity to go down. It can be there for well over a decade before you get sick, if you are in good health, but eventually, something will probably make you weak enough to trigger it. I wish everyone would know the symptoms and insist on proper testing immediately if they have them.
May you never get this scourge.....
Very good ideas. I used to love a hot bath, but can no longer sit on hard surfaces or even stand in bare feet due to intense pain. I have to stand on a thick garden kneeler instead of a bath mat to shower. I also have too much Lyme arthritis to get up out of a tub once I'm down there. I do drink a hot Natural Calm Mg drink twice daily. I agree about doing things you love and exercising and I do as much as I can. My favorite things, walking in woods and cross country skiing, are no longer possible, and there are no woods within hours of here anyway. I do think dance exercising to my ability, though it's not much, is one reason why I am still on my feet, whereas most people in stage IV Lyme are bedridden. I also use visualizations to push the negative out of myself daily or more often, as needed, and agree with you that it is necessary. I am going through a crisis where I do not understand why I am still being kept here, when I can no longer do what I thought I was here to do, and my guides, who used to warn me about little matters, have not spoken to me in almost 20 years, no matter how much I need help with major issues, so I get no feedback or answers. I don't expect an answer to this. I know there isn't one. I just don't want to be grounded to this earth. I feel like I am done and honestly just don't know why I am still here. I hope that explains it.
Unfortunately, that is one of the first things I did. It is a rural area though. One of the things I dislike about where I am now is that it is very densely urban, because doctors told me I had to live in an urban area. I lived in the area I am guided to for 3 mos. before I moved where I am now and loved it. It is probably where the tick bit me, in the national forest I was living in, so I should hate it. I don't care, since I love nature and dislike crowds and noise and any forced interaction with other humans. If there is an alternative doc there, he is not advertising, which may very well be the case, but I am much too sick to even make the trip now. I do not leave the house except to go to doctors and to eat with friends at off hours when feeling really good. I have not been able to drive for 11 yrs. now and get totally overwhelmed just riding in heavy traffic, so I have to carry a throw up bowl and wear industrial headphones. This is due to brain damage rated severe on testing......starting in stage III, Lyme eats the brain.
I live in a hot, humid area with giant bugs. Maybe it is the one you are being led to??? In fact, we often say that the Palmetto Bug is our state bird, lol. I love the heat, but hate the humidity and the bugs. We are infested with ghost ants right now that are coming in due to the unusual cold. Termites are a constant problem here took and fire ant allergy has almost killed me more times than I can count and ambulances are expensive, so no more sandals, despite the heat. I must wear shoes and socks due to fire ants. You can't even take a short walk around the block during most of the year here, unless you have time to peel off soaking wet clothes and shower and wash your hair afterwards. I spend far more time inside here than I did in the far north.
I wish you luck in figuring out what seems to be contradictory info. I also do not know whether to trust my gut and go against all logic or whether I should be practical. I am not sure I should even look for solutions in the external world at all. I hope you get to make that trip soon and find out once and for all.....
I agree about the need to move locations to find peace. The people where I am are harder to bear than my illness. Unfortunately, the place I've long been guided to move to is much colder and I have zero tolerance for cold. The illness I have destroyed my ability to regulate my own internal temperature. In the recent cold snap, my thyroid tanked from the stress, and now my temp is dangerously low. More fun and games with Lyme. I am thrilled you are well and can travel to check out places where you might find more peace. You go girl!
I do balance and clean my chakras each morning as well as putting a shield over the sacral, since it has been repeatedly used by Archons to breach my aura, and the solar plexus, to keep out negative energies, since I am being bombarded from two sides where I live. I have also had Reiki, by two different people, as well as starting to learn it myself. Just didn't feel right for me and I had too little time for more "shoulds" in my day. I know what automatic writing is, but not divine writing, unless it is the same thing.
Even a therapist told me my life is a complete disaster and she cannot see how any of it can be fixed, so what did I expect her to do for me? (I also used to be a therapist before Lyme took everything away from me). I had genetic testing that shows a serotonin transporter defect, which explains why my mother's whole family were depressed and why I have "double depression", meaning it's part long term genetic and part reactive, due to my life situation. I have had 38 years of living in a place I despise. I moved here because doctors told me I had to due to illness, and then I married someone who had a fixed in place business. People with two brain cells are very hard to find here and there are loads of fruits and nuts. I was warned by two friends who lived here at the time and could not wait to leave and go back to freezing half the year rather than put up with feeling so lonely.
I am not sure I still believe that I freely and with full knowledge chose to be born here. I am pretty certain I am not originally from this planet. However, I am undergoing a dark night of the soul and I am not sure of much of anything these days! Check out "the turds of karma" online or on YouTube and see what you think. Interesting ideas. The whole light, tunnel, life review, you need to come back and learn a lesson/payback thing may be a program by those who feed off of our negative energy to get us to voluntarily come back to this looney bin, since the rules say they can't force us. The set up here on earth is just too cruel to come from God, IMO. Everything on this planet must kill other living creatures every second just to stay alive. My breathing is killing tiny creatures with every breath by burning them alive in my lungs. It is all backwards here. Evil people have great lives while the good suffer. People who play games make billions, while those who do important jobs get almost nothing, and on and on. Backwards is not God's game, but the dark side's. I don't really believe in a hell where you suffer forever, but if there is something like a hell, I suspect this is it. To me, the absolute worst thing would be having my spouse die first, which would leave me up the creek w/o a paddle, unable to get groceries, meds, go to the doctor, pay the bills, etc. I have friends, but all the close ones live very far away and are caring for aging parents or grandkids. I have a niggling feeling that will happen if I don't prevent it. I am a coward, so have no immediate plans. I read the Hemlock Society's book and far from helping people die, it is the best deterrent I've ever seen, making it clear how very hard it is to off yourself. It seems many celeb OD's are freak accidents, or somebody's lying somewhere. Sorry to write a book!
Lastars - I totally agree with what you said. The Rockefellers decided making women feel ashamed unless they work another job outside the home would accomplish two things, ie. give the elite a lot more money in taxes and destroy the family. New Age is spiritual bypassing, enabling people to blame others for creating their own ugly reality, while they are chanting and sit doing nothing to change things. Just another religion to keep us from finding truth. Also true that we believe our thoughts without question, rather than just observing them with interest. Great post. Glad to know someone is on the same page with me.
Good point Lastars!
I think we need to talk more about those things that may be happening and make use of our sensitivities to try to figure out which ones are real, by combining our abilities to pick up on things. Who better to do it than empaths? Otherwise, the discouragement you mentioned is handled by each of us alone, which is more stressful and exactly what the bad guys want.
I am not sure exactly what you were referring to, but I when I read your post I thought of the ideas I've heard that we are: under quarantine here due to our violence, that there is a grid over us keeping us on planet, that the moon is a base that we are being controlled from, that we are a food resource herd for more technically advanced species, that we are a lab experiment for more technically advanced species, that the Nag Hamadi describes how an advanced species created us to be ore mining slaves and then left us here with thousands of genetic mutations, since they were sloppy about creating mere slaves, and so on. All of these have in common an uneven playing field, leaving us feeling hopeless in the face of tech so advanced it seems like magic. Is that what you meant?
The only one of those I have a feeling may be true is the grid/quarantine theory. That does not mean the others are not true, it only means that I am not picking up anything either way. This may do better as a new thread, if anyone prefers it that way.
P.S. I forgot to fess up that I am really bad at grounding, so I could do it all day long and I'd still not have 's success. I do it every morning as part of my Qi Gong routine, but I am a phoney. I do not want to be grounded to this world, and of course spirit knows this. I want to leave it, yesterday. I have wanted to leave for almost 20 yrs. now, but am afraid to take matters into my own hands in case a) karma is involved, or b) I fail. I've done a lot of research, and more than 97% of attempts fail. The disease I have has a successful suicide rate of 26% with 3 attempts for each success, so that gives you some idea how hard it is to live with. Almost all the successes are with morphine patches though, and I cannot even get a script for mild pain pills where I live. Our governor has an addicted son, and is on the warpath against legit pain patients, trying to make it impossible for anyone to get pain meds for more than 3 days for any reason. Docs are afraid. So, I suffer. Pain is the least of my problems now that I'm in Stage IV though. If anyone has any hints on how to ground yourself to this earth when you really don't want to be here at all, please do let me know! Thanks.
I am not picking up on what you are, but it sounds horrible. I am so sorry you have to feel that. I do feel that I am being prevented from raising my vibration though. I can definitely feel that. I also notice that every morning, despite my meditation before arising, a major problem occurs to try to upset me and make me angry. It just can't be a coincidence. I always thought it was either the so-called Archons trying to get me upset so they could feed off the energy or energy from my neighbors to the south and north, both of whom are the two angriest people I've ever met. I will consider barcodes though and look for them in proximity when I get enraged.
The main ingredient I am allergic to that seems to be in every healthy meal shake was something I got in tablets in a plain container from the animal feed store about 20 yrs. ago, when I had the reaction to it (alfalfa). I got it for our dog's Lyme arthritis, and tried some myself, since I have Lyme also. The other common problem is chamomile, which I reacted to in Sleepytime Tea, which I am sure has a barcode on the box. I am very glad you have found a way to stop your kitty's seizures, so at least one good thing has come from this discovery.
I could've written your post. I gasped when I read it. If you do want someone to vent to about this subject, PM me any time. Sending virtual hugs your way....
@ womanwhowalks -
I looked at the organic protein and vitamin/mineral shake I was drinking for breakfast while I read your post, and it has a barcode on it. It took me years to find shakes that did not contain something I was allergic to. I am too sick to make my own from scratch, and have too many medical chores in the morning to find the time. I have heard barcodes referred to as the mark of the beast by several people. I just can't see how to get them all out of my life. Isn't this like so many other pervasive things, like wifi for example, where our only hope is to raise our vibration high enough to be above it's reach? Honestly, I don't know and am asking your opinion if that might work.
Hi Tiger Lily,
I agree when you share it with another empath, they understand and I also feel like a bubble about to burst if I don't tell someone. Part of it for me is a desire to see if my reaction is considered an abnormal over reaction, and whether others have different perspectives to offer. I have 3 empath correspondents who've become friends (they all live far from me, so I will never see them) whom I can do this with and vice versa.
I am sad though that some long time friendships with normal people, some more than 50 years long, are suffering because they don't understand, don't pick up what I do, and don't desire such deep conversation. I've had to lower the amount of contact in order to protect them from how depressed I get, because of what I pick up from people. This has forced me to face that my best friendships are not as intimate as I'd thought.
I was not at all a complainer when younger, instead being very naive, and constantly used as a result. I picked up the things I pick up now, but did not realize then that other people couldn't read people like I could. Slow learner, lol. I always tried to understand why people did the things they did and made endless excuses for them. I also did not hold others to my standards. I do now, and that makes a huge difference.
"Going on tangents of complaining to release the energy".
Thank you so much, Tiger Lily. I learned something today. I never realized that is why I seem to compulsively do this, even though I know it annoys most of my normal friends to no end. I know nobody likes a complainer, but I seem to have a need to let it out to someone, and it feels more like therapy than complaining to me. I still need to figure out how to stop, since it just makes others feel bad or down after they read it.
That sounds very good about different dogs representing different parts of your life, especially since you think of different things when you think of different types of dogs. I've been avoiding news entirely, but people do tend to tell me things they think I should know, lol.
Thanks for the comment about the sameness of my dream. I had not thought of that. I am very sick and have been for a long time, so that aspect may be personal, but the feeling of a major catastrophe could indeed fit with the NWO. I am especially feeling their depopulation agenda, since all of the people in those dreams are age 30 or less and I am much older, but not in those dreams, where I am back in my late twenties, but don't look like I did then. For some reason, I never look like myself in this life in my dreams.
I feel for you about home and work life colliding and stamina suffering. It seems to me as if time is speeding up and we don't have enough hours in the day anymore to get basics done, let alone sleep, and take it from a professional insomniac, if you wake up a lot at night like I do, you will remember weird dreams!
I think you've figured it out well. Now comes the hard part of deciding what to do about it.
My immediate thought after reading your account is that this sounds exactly like the way people have been acting toward each other, the way nations have been acting, and how the whole freakin' world has been acting for awhile now, and 2017 was really bad. Everyone is so extreme, with no moderation. Had you been watching the news before you went to bed? If so, maybe you were working out the insanity what you'd just seen on the news, but converted it to dogs, since your brain has more experience at making sense of what dogs do. The dogs may all be large, since empaths hate confrontations, so people and situations involving confrontation loom large to us, since they make us want to be anywhere else. Does that make any sense?
I have been having endless dreams about large white buildings with huge, endless numbers of rooms, and people dressed all in white or even white polar bears, and white mattresses all over otherwise bare floors, often with hospital equipment. This has gone on for a few years now. I have some guesses about it, but no certainties. I really am curious if it means I am supposed to do something in particular in a future disaster.
I hope you find an answer that resonates with you.
I've been taking 10,000 IU of vit. D3 daily for a decade with no ill effects. I was taught it should be dosed by your weight, not one size fits all. I have my blood level tested twice yearly, but that is the doctor's idea not mine. I am not worried. Also agree about Mg, and love Natural Calm Mg drink mix before bed for relaxation. Kefir also is a daily drink for me, mixed with a green drink powder. I use theanine daily and tryptophan nightly, as well as Seriphos when I get especially wired and can't sleep. Recently started non-flush vit. B3, which seems to be helping already.
I sure wish I was physically healthy enough to start an HSP/empath Meetup in my area. I would so love to see other empaths face to face. I often feel alone around my "normal" friends.
Even better, IMO, would be a small community of empaths all living in their own tiny houses to get much needed alone time, but with communal shared spaces.
P. S. Here is a positive idea for depression.....
I forgot to mention that vitamin B3 is a relatively new addition to my supplement repertoire, and it is really helping the depression already. I use non-flush niacinamide at 500 mgs. twice daily, but most people don't need that high a dose. This version of B3 also helps control essential tremor.
I am using the non-flush version, but for those who also want the cardiovascular benefits, the flushing version can be used, just start around 25 mgs. and raise it very slowly.
Do not take B3 if on blood thinning drugs w/o medical supervision. I would also avoid the flushing version if you have a mast cell disorder.
I apologize! I have secondary fibromyalgia and am so used to talking with people who are taking benzos, especially Klonopin, a favorite drug of fibromyalgia patients everywhere, that I assumed others knew what they were and which drugs they were. I should have listed them. You know what they say about the word "assume"....... ;-)
Generic Xanax is what I was on, known as alprazolam. I am finally off that for a whole month now, after 34 yrs. of taking it around the clock, but am still on a small dose (5 mgs.) of valium aka diazepam, which has a much longer half life, so is used to even out the huge drop offs that occur if one tries to withdraw directly from xanax, not recommended! I have worked down from 10 mgs. valium over the past month and will be switching to 2 mg. tabs this weekend, so I can cut off smaller pieces as I keep going.
Some other benzos are Halcion, Restoril, and Dalmane, which are stronger ones used for sleep, not just anxiety. Also Versed, used in medical procedures is a benzo, so people who get off benzos must make sure they get propofol during procedures like EGDs, not versed! Once I get done with withdrawal, I intend to get a new Medical Alert necklace, which says NO BENZOS in huge letters on the front.
The last figure I saw was 11% of Americans. A pharmacist we know personally told me valium is by far the number one prescription drug they sell at the pharmacy where she works. Doctors are now limiting new prescriptions to no more than 6 weeks, but I know someone who became addicted enough to go through withdrawal after only 4 days of taking Xanax! It depends on your genes. If you have first degree relatives who were alcoholics, for example, avoid benzos like your life depends on it, since benzos are alcohol in a pill, in terms of the effect they have on GABA.....it is virtually the same addiction.
This is now entering TMI territory. Anyone who wants more info can PM me. Thanks for letting me sound off on here. I am on a mission to try to prevent everyone I can from ending up hooked on this junk. Even though they tell me I am dependent, not addicted, there is zero difference when it comes to the hell of withdrawing from it.
Just to clarify, most of my many serious health problems are caused by late stage Lyme disease that was misdiagnosed first as multiple sclerosis for 4 yrs., then under diagnosed as fibromyalgia for 17 long years, until it was too late. Lyme is only curable in stage I. I am in stage III or IV, depending on the system of classification you use. It's the final stage, either way.
The drug is only responsible for it's own withdrawal symptoms, which are severe insomnia, very high cortisol with shaking, tachycardia, severe anxiety, and other consequences of very little sleep over the long time it takes to withdraw, especially blood sugar abnormalities and adrenal fatigue, and some brain damage and that is all not unique to me, sadly for all the others who take these drugs.
Research now shows that benzos cause dementia in most people who take them for any length of time, or even rarely, and should never be taken long term, which is why doctors are now taking people off them, but because most doctors are ignorant, they think you can just stop taking them like alcohol or opiates and go through a short withdrawal. That is not true for benzodiazepines. Short withdrawal from benzos can kill you. Big Pharma deceived us yet again to make money, not caring what it did to the people who took these drugs. These other benzos were marketed as a non-addictive replacement for valium, also a benzo, when sales of that lagged due to the finding that it was addictive.
I have found some things that help a lot, thank you. I could never have gone through a whole year of withdrawal so far without the drug clonidine, or the supplement Seriphos. Those are the two most important helpers for me. I need to work on raising ALL my neurotransmitters, not just GABA, as they are all too low, as are my manufacturing of tears, saliva, digestive enzymes, collagen, transport proteins, methyl donors and other things. Since my adrenals are shot, I am focusing on raising my parasympathetic neurohormones and avoiding raising the sympathetic ones for now. My sympathetic nervous system is already in overdrive with no GABA to put the brakes on it, and it can take years to get GABA back to par after taking benzos for so long, if it ever comes back.
I have written a book here sorry. I am just hoping someone will see this and decide to get off their benzos too, s-l-o-w-l-y, the only safe way. I am betting plenty of empaths are taking them, given how they numb emotion and calm down excess stimulation.
Now that I looked up all 3 products you use, I remember we had this exact discussion before! I don't know if you remember that I am only a dissertation away from being a Naturopathic Doctor. I did not finish, since it is illegal to practice in my state and two people I know went to prison for five years for it. My ARNP therapist who is helping me withdraw from the drug is also holistic and does 17 pages of genetic tests on new patients as well as full hormone panels and anything else needed.
I already eat large amounts of almost all the listed foods, except for the liver and rice. I have a genetic serotonin transport defect that makes antidepressants totally ineffective, which is why I take several grams of L-tryptophan every night. It is also why my mother's whole family were depressed.
Deproloft - I cannot take vitamin B6 in any form again due to having had B6 neuropathy from taking too much of it, and I only took 150 mgs. daily. The WORST pain of my life and took a year to get rid of. Be careful! I cannot take Tyrosine, or Rhodolia due to stroke level blood pressure, cannot take 5-HTP due to serious heart rhythm problems (this reaction is common in those with any kind of heart problem, and it is recommended that they take L-tryptophan instead....it more safely does the same thing). I was on a heart monitor for a whole month due to taking 5HTP and Tyrosine in a formula for Fibromyalgia called NeuroReplete. Every time I stood up my blood pressure and heart rate soared.
Sleep Easy - Can't take passion flower due to it's being addictive for Benzo addicts; as I said before it fills GABA receptors. Natural is not automatically safe. I am very allergic to both Hops and Chamomile. Nobody with Ragweed allergy should take Chamomile without testing it first.
Tranquility - can't take passion flower as above. Won't take Kava as it can be addictive and can cause serious liver damage. There are other safer things that I prefer.
I am glad these things work for you without harming you and that you only take them when needed.
May you continue to be blessed. I am glad you feel so much better,
Sure, I respond to raising GABA. However, I do not want to be on the only class of drug that does it which is more addictive than heroin any longer, benzodiazepines. They are also now proven to cause dementia and take about 20 yrs. off life. I have been rapidly losing my memory and other mental abilities over the past couple of years, as well as going into tolerace withdrawal.
11 million Americans are on benzos. It is especially bad for older people like me. Many countries are removing it from people cold turkey now, and so are many docs here in the USA. That is literally killing them. So, I decided to go off, against my doctor's wishes, since he was afraid it would kill me. I did not care. Benzos are depressants, and I am depressed. Depression is worse than death, so I was determined to do whatever it takes to try to get off this crap. Going off it safely takes about one month of withdrawal for each year you've been on it, though it is still hell to go off of, and I was put on it for muscle spasms 34 yrs. ago.
It is very important when one's GABA receptors are trying to recover from such damage, that the drug not be replaced with a natural product that simply fills the receptors just like the drug did, still preventing the brain from recovering it's ability to make it's own GABA. Passion Flower does that, as do several other natural things. The largest benzo withdrawal forum has a whole section for people withdrawing from passion flower, which they innocently used to get off benzos and are now addicted to. So I stick only to supplements that raise GABA without binding to the GABA receptors, like L-theanine. As a result, it does not work as well, but it does help and hopefully, I will not be one of the 20% of benzo users they are now finding out will never recover.
Using my daily chakra visualization, I have already been able to get my chakras to touch each other. I will keep working at it.
I take L-theanine, L-glutamine, L-tryptophan (all separated from each other), Natural Calm, Melatonin, Niacinamide, Pantothenic acid and NAC, and once in awhile I take Lithium Orotate, though I have to watch that one, since I am hypothyroid. I take Seriphos when my stress is severe, since the withdrawal is the hardest thing I've ever done. I read a blog by a female doctor in her late 30's, who withdrew from benzos along with 6 of her doctor girlfriends. She tried to do it in 6 weeks, like the Rehabs make you do it. She ended up having to close her practice for 4 yrs. and have round the clock care for 10 months of that because she forgot how to do even basic things. She made it, but all 6 of her friends committed suicide. As she writes, if you can get through benzo withdrawal, you are made of titanium after that and can get through anything!
What did you take to get your GABA normalized? Were your other neurotransmitters all low, like mine are? I am glad you succeeded!
I am just starting into my 2nd year of a slow, agonizing withdrawal from a drug that raises GABA, and accordingly, my blood tests show no readable levels of that, or any other neurotransmitters, for that matter. I still have about 7 months to go in withdrawal and barely sleep at all. Supplements I mention below are responsible for the only sleep I get.
As a result, I've been diagnosed with double depression, which is persistent depression with an episode of major depression on top of it. The persistent depression I already had is due to having a horrible disease with an astronomical 26% successful suicide rate, for which I was given this drug in the first place. I also have a genetic defect in serotonin transport, which makes anti-depressants have totally no affect on me. I rely on foods and natural products like fish oil and L-theanine and L-tryptophan, and also Seriphos, which is the only thing that has made withdrawal bearable.
The article in the link helped me to see a course of action that I have not tried. I've been meditating since I was 17, and am now 66, but even though I was not depressed until I got sick in middle age, I have never seen my chakras even come close to connecting with each other when aligning them, like she says they should. I also have been told by people who have read me, that I am "leaking" chi out of tiny holes in my aura. Now I can concentrate on fixing these things when I visualize them each morning.
Thanks so much for posting that link. Have you ever had a reading with Ms. Pavlina?
I can't remember where I read it, but I read that empaths are 7 times more likely to be addicts. I am not surprised, given how hard it is to live in this world, especially if you are as sensitive as we are. Lately, it seems to me that sociopathy is almost glorified as a stronger "moral" code, at least on TV shows. It disgusts me.
I am currently at the one year mark of a long and horribly difficult withdrawal from taking xanax for 33 years for balance problems and muscle spasms due to a serious illness. Way back then, Big Pharma was telling us it was not addictive! Now they know it causes the very things it is supposed to prevent and it also causes dementia. It can also cause brain damage, and unfortunately, tests show I have permanent brain damage. I have about another 10 months to go, though my dose was pretty low and I am almost off, but cuts can never be more than 10% of the remaining dose. It turns out benzos are harder to get off of than heroin. It is so hard to cope w/o any brakes on my nervous system, that I have isolated myself almost totally, which is very lonely. My spouse has to put up with the w/d symptoms, poor man. I also cannot sleep to the point where it is very dangerous to my health, and that is the most common w/d symptom with benzo drugs.
I was attending a very radical University in the late 1960's and all my friends smoked weed and dropped acid. I do not believe in making things illegal, since I think it only makes people want them more, and I don't like living in a police state, but I do not see weed as a safe drug either. I saw so many people totally and permanently lose a lot of their ability to remember things, which seriously affected their future lives. I also saw so many people talking endlessly about things they were going to do while high, but never actually doing anything at all. I even saw one friend get scurvy, since weed dramatically depletes vitamin C. In my case, the weight gain was so dramatic that I quit using it almost immediately and endured lots of teasing for avoiding it.
Natural things can be unsafe too, like cobras, scorpions, foxglove, nightshades, even vitamins used incorrectly, etc. I don't claim to know the answer. I don't see how good, decent people can cope in our degenerating society, let alone those of us who pick up other's emotions and can read B.S. a mile away. I like dvrat's idea of diverting our discomfort into a good habit like an artistic hobby, like music or art or writing or gardening. Notice I did not mention helping others. That is a very worthwhile diversion, but I think most of us are already doing too much of that one and need to take care of ourselves for once!
This is just my two cents as one of the old fogies on this forum. I am reading all of your answers with interest, since I very much need help with this too.
wishing you all holiday blessings,
I consulted my advanced light warrior friend about this last night. He said the spiders are the dark side's standard way of trying to stop people who are starting to wake up to the truth of what is really going on here. That would certainly fit, since you say you did not believe any of this stuff before. It is very important to them that we humans do not wake up en masse, since once we stop being afraid, they lose their food, which is literally our fear and suffering. He said they cannot really hurt you, especially if you can somehow find strength to not fear them. I know that is easier said than done, and I only had one in my room, not hordes. I asked him to take a look at this thread if he had time, but for now, that is what he told me, FWIW. He did get rid of my spider, my dark man, and my portal. He said he did it with help from another light warrior who used to come here a lot, Archangel Michael, and some "detonator seekers" or something like that....I don't remember the exact words. Whatever it was, it worked.
I take massive amounts of L-tryptophan, since genetic tests showed I have trouble converting it to serotonin. Melatonin keeps me awake! Valerian does not work for me at all. I take L-theanine and Natural Calm too. I also take a lot of Seriphos to lower cortisol and never would have made it this far without it, since withdrawal has caused my cortisol to soar. I am sleeping pretty well now considering the high cortisol, except right after each dosage cut. I have another cut tomorrow night, and it takes about 4 days for the cut to hit me. I do a cut every two weeks and have been doing it for 11 months now.
I've had two psychics tell me I will live "well into my 80's", so you may be right. I hope they are wrong, since I've wanted to leave for a very long time, like yesterday! I am allergic to all of the antibiotics that kill Lyme, but that has turned out to be good, since it has been found that 15% of the bugs are always persisters that become stronger with treatment and wreak havoc when the antibiotics are stopped. I had herbal treatment for four years with the most studied herbal protocol, one proven to beat the antibiotics at killing Lyme by research at our own NIH. It was just too late after 21 yrs. of misdiagnosis, and there is too much damage. Many patients say the initials of Lyme Disease really stand for living death. The suicide rate is 26%, so that gives you some idea of how hard it is to live with.
The only thing I worry about at this point is outliving my husband, which would be a disaster since I have no family and live in a place where you cannot function without driving. I only have 2 friends who live here, after being housebound for so long, and they both work about 80 hrs. a week or more. It would be up the creek w/o a paddle. I've been sick since I collapsed in my office in 1986, and was put on terminal disability in 1994, am now on social security as I am 66. My spouse is 69, so we are both old fogies.
I am not offended at all, and appreciate your insights. It is nice of you to care, when you are being tormented by all of these apparitions. I pray it will be resolved soon. I have asked my friend who got rid of my problem to look at this thread if he has time. I hope he does.
I also have Fibromyalgia, and ran a 3 city support group for the Arthritis Foundation for 14 years, until I got too sick to drive to my own group. Later I found out the reason I was getting worse and worse was because my Fibro was secondary to Lyme disease. I am no drug expert, but have studied to be a Naturopath, though I did not finish, since it is illegal to practice in my state.
I cannot prove it, but I think empaths are likely to be more prone to Fibromyalgia than average. I know we are 7 times more likely to become addicts of some kind. Some Indian tribes consider Fibro a gift from God and confer automatic Shamnhood on those who get it (from Dr. Devin Starlanyl's big book on Fibro). It does make your sympathetic nervous system much more sensitive, so you pick up a lot more from your environment that others are able to ignore, for better or worse. This was a great advantage throughout most of human history, but now it is a sensory disaster with all the overstimulation in our society. (Highly recommend Dr. Jeffrey Bland's "Fibromyalgia: Stone Agers In The Fast Lane".)
I am very relieved to know you are so well informed about the drugs you take. I have seen how Fibro patients react to tiny doses of drugs, so I worried when I saw you had Fibro. I never take more than 1/4 dose of anything to start with, and would have been dead long ago if I had taken full doses of several things I've reacted to, one of which was Wellbutrin. The lowest dose caused euphoria to the point of delusion, an almost complete lack of sleep, night terrors, and finally hives and anaphylactic shock. That was mild compared to some other drug reactions I've had though.
Withdrawal will always cause a rebound depression, since your brain has not produced it's own neurotransmitters in a very long time. Withdrawal from benzos peaks about 8 weeks after the drug is totally out of your body, and can last for years after that, something I did not learn the first 3 times I went off benzos, which caused me to go back on them, thinking the w/d symptoms were Fibro symptoms. It takes even longer for anti-deps to leave the body. Now that I know this, I will stay off, since it gets harder to withdraw each time you try....due to the kindling effect. My drug is now causing the very symptoms it was meant to prevent, and has recently been proven to cause dementia, so I felt I had to try to get off, despite my doctor being totally against my trying to go off it, given my predicted life span. Doctors are now refusing to prescribe benzos as well and some countries have banned them. I don't think there is any danger of that happening with your anti-depressants though.
I wish I had some helpful ideas for the spiders, etc. but I will leave that to those who've dealt with these things successfully before. My only help has been from someone else who has done it, since my own efforts did not work. I wish you the best in resolving this soon. You have good people helping you here with lots of experience.
A "hiatus" is a good way to put it, since I don't think we are really allowed to resign. My adrenal glands are shot from stress due to my health, and I have not done any fighting for about a year now either. I feel strongly that it is okay to take a rest. I am very sorry you were deceived like that. It is hard, if not impossible, to trust again. Narcs are very attracted to us as you know. I made a friend here who turned out to be one and used me so badly my stomach started bleeding. I have heard that an empath who has been badly hurt can become narcissistic in self-defense, and I even see that in myself once in awhile when I get really angry, another indication that my circuits are fried and I need a rest!
I have been friends outside the forum for a few years now with 3 people I've met here, one of whom is an advanced light warrior. I told him what was going on and he took care of it yesterday. It was wonderful last night feeling and seeing no darkness coming from that corner of the room and seeing nothing come through. He has done this before and it's always worked but eventually, they've always come back in. This time he enlisted a lot of outside help, and he found out who was doing it to me as well. It made perfect sense and is too long a story for this thread, which is supposed to be about Stevie's serious problem anyway, so I will shut up now.
It's nice to have another female light warrior on the forum! There used to be 4 of us who would admit to it, and I was the only female. Glad to have you.
I thought I'd made a point out of saying that I did not think she was making it all up, no matter what caused it, but I'll say it again to be sure. If one of them actually bit you, then as you say, it must not be the drug. I may be asking you about this if the spider I saw bites me. I am not on that drug either, ,but am going through a drug withdrawal and not sleeping much. I have already tried smudging as well, using cedar and the standard smudging procedure. That drug is well known for causing such hallucinations, even on normal doses, which is why I posted the suggestion. I thought I'd read the whole thread before I posted, but my memory is bad due to brain damage from Lyme Disease, and I must have forgotten or missed reading the part about one biting you or about asking about her drugs. I would not have posted all that, if I'd known that first! Thank you so much for pointing that out, and I am so sorry to have wasted everyone's time.
Have a nice evening,
With reference to my own problem with a portal above, I have tried throwing the light at them like you do and it did not work at all. It seems you may be a light warrior too.....I have tried to "resign" from doing that, and the 3rd try seems to have worked. There are a couple other light warriors here, but we do not often post, since the need for us to do what we do tends to be argued with by light workers, lol. Like most empaths, I do not like confrontations, not even with POS Archons, let alone with other empaths.
I have powdered many soulless Archons by throwing light from my finger tips, but so far, the only thing that works on this large man and the spider is for my spouse to wake up, or for me to just tell them they don't scare me, and roll over and shut my eyes. I do not do this because I am brave, but because I am terminally ill, so I figure there is nothing they can do to me that late stage Lyme disease is not already doing, including lowering my neurotransmitter levels so low they are not even readable...I should be dead just from that!
If you know of any other techniques stronger than throwing the light, please do let me know! Swords, given by other more advanced Light Warriors have not worked either. Maybe these things can help Stevie too, if it turns out her problem is paranormal, which is why I posted this instead of sending a PM. I am hoping it is the drug in her case, since that would be so much simpler to fix.
Thank you in advance for any ideas,
I used to be a psychiatric social worker. First, I want to be clear that am NOT doubting what you've seen. I also have a portal in my bedroom and a tall, dark male shape comes through as well as a 3 ft. wide black spider. The difference is that the whole thing disappears if my husband wakes up, so I am pretty sure it is his unconscious aggression coming out. He is totally passive in his waking life and never allows himself to get angry. Also, I have had my blood levels of neurotransmitters measured, and they are highly abnormal, which brings me to something in the physical world you may want to try, to see if it may have anything to do with this.....
I am just wondering if you have recently been evaluated as to whether you still need that Wellbutrin you said you are taking in a post above, or if your dosage of it is correct or may be too high. Because of my former career, an alarm went off for me when you said you take Wellbutrin. I include below an excerpt I copied from a website called bluelight, a forum where the use of Wellbutrin is being discussed:
HERE IS THE THE QUOTE I COPIED FROM THE FORUM:
"Hey guys, I was just wondering if anyone else was curious (stupid may be a better word) like me, and tried using Wellbutrin (bupropion) for a recreational purpose. I took approximately 3,000 mg (which is a bad idea) and began to have vivid hallucinations all throughout the night and even the next day. In my bedroom, I saw tons of spiders and scorpions crawling all along my ceiling and eventually dropping down on me. Spiders were literally everywhere, and when they were falling on me, I would physically feel the touch of their legs on my skin (it was very odd).
I also witnessed what appeared to be an older man (it was so convincing) that would sit at the end of my bed and laugh at me, but obviously he was just a part of the hallucinations. At one point I remember seeing myself lying on my bedroom floor covered with the spiders and what looked to be a weird type of centipede. I cannot describe how scared I was at first, but after a while I realized that it was all in my head and things eventually got better. Every object in my room would just constantly sway back and forth and it was very interesting to watch. Eventually, I somehow managed to fall asleep through all the chaos, and unfortunately, I do not remember much else from this experience."
END OF THE PART I COPIED
There was a long thread on this, but I did know that Wellbutrin could cause dopamine hallucinations, so I went looking. It took me less than 3 minutes to find this, and the similarities in this person's hallucinations on Wellbutrin and your experiences seem uncanny. Again, I am NOT saying that is what they are, only that I would like to see you investigate this angle, since it seems it could be much easier to fix than the paranormal alternative.
I am no expert at removing annoying spirits, though I am an empath for sure, but psych is my field, and I am sometimes worried when I see folks on this forum automatically assuming everything is paranormal, without investigating ALL the possibilities.
With great respect and love to all who have posted here, and praying you find a solution to what must seem horrifying,
I do not want to alarm you, but please get your sweet cat out of there ASAP! I have seen narcs harm animals in retaliation. I have a friend who left her two cats alone in the same house as her Narc DIL, despite my warning, and they ended up "accidentally" poisoned by something that "got into" their food. There was no way to prove she did it, but we all knew it. I would never wish such a tragedy on you.
I married into a nest of Narcs, so I have lots of experience with them. Recently, the APA finally acknowledged what I've thought all along, ie. that Narcs are on a continuum with psychopaths.
I know today is your move and am praying you and your kitty are out of there by now and safe.
Blessings be yours,
FWIW: I saw a video yesterday by someone who teaches a master course on alchemy. He says our magnetic field has been reduced by 20% in the past 17 years appx., due to changes in the sun, which is due to "go to sleep" again, and that is the cause of all this instability, both in the physical world, and in our minds and bodies. He says the magnetic field will be dropped by 50% by 2030!
He said the climactic warming is really just a short prelude to a major cooling, following a normal cycle the sun goes through. The bad weather events will spread and get worse everywhere soon, not just in north America. More and more animals will go home to 5th density, ie. they will appear extinct here. Animals will go back to 5th density before most humans, since they are more advanced in their vibratory rate (Now that part I do believe for sure!). He says the process of most of us being able to go on to 5th density will take a very long time.
I have no idea if he's right, but I have felt for years that this catastrophe we are headed for is a natural one, not a man made one, so that part would fit. I was feeling it might be a CME, which comes from the sun, so it would be sun related as he says.
Mostly, I just feel the ground has been pulled out from under me, which he says is typical for those who've not dealt adequately with their karmic baggage going into this change. He says people who've forgiven all, see all of us as one entity, and can love all unconditionally will have much less trouble. I admit that isn't me....not there yet by a mile.
As someone who studied to be a Naturopath (I didn't finish though), I can't help noticing your symptoms of new muscle aches and facial tics fit magnesium deficiency well. Most Americans are deficient in Mg, but I believe empaths are more likely than most to be low in it, because we are under so much stress, and stress can dramatically increase Mg requirements. I'd like to recommend Natural Calm Mg Powder. The raspberry/lemon flavor is esp. good. It is calming as well as helping relax muscles. I don't own any stock in the company or work for it. I just like the product and the way you can control the dose to suit yourself. It is one of several calming supplements I am taking in these troubled times.
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I so agree that " a general feeling of hopelessness" is a perfect way to describe what I am picking up these days. And, isn't it amazing that most non-empaths, which is most people, just won't admit to feeling it? When I talk to people, they say they are mostly happy. I wish I could be happy, but I am very sad that people have a defeatist attitude towards letting the darkness win on earth, as if it is already too late. I don't watch news either, but can't seem to shake the oppressive feeling of some big catastrophe on the way. Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer, but this is the one place I can be honest.
Have a blessed day to all,
Thanks very much for working on that persistent portal. I will let you know by PM if things change. Appreciate it!
Irma wrecked our grounds and fences, but house is intact. I hope yours is okay. Makes me want to leave Florida more than ever now. Don't want to hijack this thread, so will sign off.....
Highly recommended for those who want the whole picture:
1. anything on the danger of Spiritual Bypassing (lonerwolf has good articles)
2. anything on doing work on integrating your shadow side (lonerwolf has good articles on this too)
3. anything on how the masculine, left-brained patriarchy (current beliefs in most of world) needs integrating with the feminine, right-brained matriarchy (it's all good, no evil, so just be passive).....it's not a choice of one over the other, but must include both - (lonerwolf also good for this)
Viewing on You Tube:
1. Mark Passio's seminar on New Age Bullsh*t. Excellent for rocking the ego boat!
Back to work. Have a good day all,
I've lived in a small town of 1,500, another one of 5,500, a small city of 32,000, a medium city of 185,000 and currently live in a metro area of many run together cities and counties of over 2 million that requires a two hour drive one way on congested highways to get to the country. Then you have to drive back home through all that, which ruins all the relaxation you got.
My current place is the worst place I've ever lived. I cannot get any quiet. Just to go outside and do a five minute Qi Gong routine each morning with any concentration is impossible.....there is always someone yelling at their barking dog, loud traffic, a chain saw, or all of that at once and more. The traffic is insane. I am not one who can disappear into a crowd. I can't do crowds at all, so I just don't go. I find that I never leave home here except to go to the doctor, or to take early morning walks around an area park, before people get up. I am not a morning person at all, so I am really desperate for nature to do that!
The next worse was the small city of 32,00, where there were no employers that needed to bring in new people from outside, so everyone had lived there for generations and their whole family was there. They had no desire to make friends with outsiders and did not even understand why anyone might want to travel away from there when on vacation. At least it was quiet, dead quiet. Neighbors didn't even greet you, if you ever even saw them. The only friend I was able to make was another outsider.
The town of 1,500 was best, because it had low enough land costs to have a couple of acres around the house and had lots of wildlife and forest, and because it's two major employers brought in people with Master's Degrees from outside, so I made friends and had people I could talk to with similar interests. It was the best of all worlds to me.
I'd say do plenty of research before making a move and know what you want and more importantly, what you really need to feel at home.
I have a ragged edged, oval shaped portal in the corner of our bedroom, nearest our worst neighbors house, which is very close at that one corner. It's always been there, or at least for the 32 yrs. I've lived in the house. I can't see what comes through, but it feels evil and all my efforts to close it have failed. No spiders, just a blacker darkness at night and a very bad feeling. I sleep better in a chair in the living room.
I agree with Paul about aliens, having had numerous experiences with one type that definitely feeds off of humanity, but I will not be drawn into yet another light worker vs. light warrior argument. IME, there is just no convincing those who have not seen, and I wish I hadn't seen or experienced what I have, so I understand light workers wanting to believe otherwise. However, IME, the point here is that the dangerous ones do not need to morph into spiders and run away.
If I remember correctly, it is a 3 book series and I read them all. I liked them when I read them, but have since changed my opinion about a lot of that and feel it represents something called "spiritual bypassing".
For anyone interested in a very informed rant about spiritual bypassing, Mark Passio has an excellent seminar on YouTube called "New Age Bulls*it". The lonerwolf.com website also has some excellent articles on spiritual bypassing.
If you don't like long and wordy, avoid A Course In Miracles. It makes Conversations with God look short and simple, IMO.
We just got power back last night, after 6 days without it. The pile of tree debris from our yard is 45 ft. long, 7 ft. high and still rising. One of our 150 ft. long, 6 ft. high solid fences blew over and landed in our neighbor's driveway, one section on her car. I watched the wind bend one of my flowering trees over almost to the ground and snap it off clean 2/3 of the way down. It was predicted to be a lot worse. I cannot even imagine......
I have strong personal feelings which may affect what I pick up. I have hated living here the entire 37 yrs. I've been here, on doctor's orders. I've had it with doctors and want to go back to the place I love. I do not believe them when they say it would kill me. I think it might save my life. However, that is another subject entirely!
I agree that our energy has to be expressed in some kind of manifestation in the material world. I've heard all the theories, but have no fixed belief as to how that works. I sure do see people being played like violins, letting TPTB divide us along every possible line so we don't look at who is really the problem, and the result is an atmosphere full of explosive anger, which must be released somehow.
I am also picking up that Mother Earth is sick and tired of the fleas called humans who are poisoning her and raping her, and is letting us know who is boss. If we don't quit being so dumb that we crap where we eat, and if we continue to believe there is actually a place called "away" to throw the trash from our overconsumption, she may just decide to flick the fleas off for good. BUT, that may be my own love of nature over all else that is filtering what I pick up, so take it with a huge grain of salt.
Meanwhile, let us all pray for those poor folks in the Leeward islands who're about to get hit for the 3rd time in a row!