MH, Empathy and Support
As a former therapist, I can easily see how empaths can be misdiagnosed, esp. with all the new diagnoses now days like Bipolar Type II, an iffy diagnosis to begin with, IMO. I can also see how the opposite might happen. This topic really interests me, since I have a mental health diagnosis that is partly due to very real rotten life circumstances, and therefore is not abnormal at all, but mostly due to my being an empath, IMO. Is that abnormal? I would say not, and I think the world would be a LOT better if everyone were like us. How much of "mental illness" do you think is just a more expansive form of consciousness?
As some of you know, I am very slowly dying of a chronic illness. As I get sicker, my abilities are ramping up, and now I read people involuntarily any time they feel strong emotions. For me, it takes the form of seeing what they really think and feel like a TV screen imposed over their foreheads. What I have seen has dismayed me to no end. So much selfishness, conceit, a false, angry superiority, a lack of caring or even listening, extreme closed-mindedness, lying, pretending to like me so they can keep the door open to use me, etc. I can see auras the same way, only in those who are feeling strong emotions. There are a lot of brown, gray and black ones. The clean, golden ones are mostly around people who are very naive and do not pick up anything from others, ie. ignorance really is bliss! I would freak out if I kept seeing a stranger in the shower like spiritualskies, yikes!
Protection stones and stones that help with compassion, magnesium, grounding, closing all chakras except root and crown, watching a daily video to heal my own aura of holes, etc. have not helped, though I continue to do all the rituals each morning, and I isolate even more than my illness has already isolated me as a result of being so disappointed in people, and in myself for not being able to accept them as they are. CBD oil helps the most, but only helps the physical pain for me. I cannot handle THC at all. Other calming herbs/supps. have proved too weak, except for Seriphos, which I rely on to sleep at all.
As some of you also know, I am also going through voluntary withdrawal from the hardest of all drugs to get off of, which I was prescribed for 33 yrs. for muscle spasms due to my illness. I do not want to take addiction karma with me to the other side and have to come back to get rid of it. My doctor warned me it might kill me, and he may be right. This has made me 100 times more sensitive than I already was, since there are zero brakes on my nervous system now. I agree with whoever said that sleep is important. I have not slept much for the entire 17 mos. of withdrawal so far, with many left to go, and the consequences are awful in so many ways, it would take a book to list them all.
The ARNP who is monitoring me while I taper the drug, says neither therapy nor drugs will help, because my "double depression" is due to an existential crisis combined with genetics, which I agree with. She did genetic tests which showed I have a defect in transport of the happy hormone, serotonin, which is why anti-deps don't work for me. She says therapy doesn't work well on existential crises. I used to be a behavioral therapist in my other life before the illness, and I agree with her on that. I also have an "adjustment disorder", which means I over-react to the situation I am in, and I credit that to being an empath. I could not find a group therapy I could afford. I am a big believer in having others who are going through the same thing help, since no amt. of book learning can make up for experience, IMO.
I wish I was emotionally numb to help me cope! I am SO much the opposite that I jump when the phone rings, and I even cringe when the mail comes. At least I know what mail is...I've read blogs and seen videos by others going off these drugs who had to be taken care of 24/7 for awhile and lost everything, and most of them are not empaths. About 3 wks. ago now, I came within a few minutes of ending it all. I found out who my real friends were when I told them that. That hurt too, especially since out of only 12 friends I had left after being sick so long, the only 2 who did not reach out immediately and strongly were two out of the three friends who claim to be empaths!
So, I am here, posting to those who are going through the same thing, though I pray none of you are as sick as I am on top of being empathic. How do you all deal with the disappointment in the way most people are. I was a lot happier when I didn't know and I trusted everybody because I had no idea they could not do what I could do for the longest time (!), but I realize that I can't unsee any of this, and I have to go through this, or my life is a lie. Sorry this got so long.
Thanx to any who actually read all this, C. Cat