Heck of a life
Loss of mom and uncle here in 2016. So much changing so quickly.. and stronger you grow. Good to see you again.
Oh how I know what you are feeling right now.
Your'e better off.. though like you, I was so angry with myself for not seeing it! What I was feeling from him wasn't him at all?! The questions start flooding in and there are no answers that make you feel better. I will tell you this gets better because eventually you will realize you are a caring person with alot of love to give, and you now have an opportunity to do that. I have more red flags about relationships than I should. But I also realized that what I was doing was attracting these men to me, and I was falling for them every single time. I learned about myself and that I could not have changed the ending.. I might have prolonged it for a while if I knew more, but there would have been another one eventually.
I could go on and on with this one. If I learned anything.. I learned they want you to feel that way. Do not let someone like that change you. Truth is you are just to good for him and his play time ran out.
At least it did not take you 17 years and four children to shed of him.
(I also learned that Karma is far better to take care of this than I was)
Good point Karen and exactly what I am thinking.
Chris I felt this way for someone and I still do love that person. I think that I was feeling what he was feeling and it was so amazing that I could not stop thinking about it.
Looking back at many of my relationships now I this makes so much sense to me. I was feeling to be something much more than what it was. The person is my Awakener but also the first time I felt someone so similar to me. What I know now is the feeling that I look for when I find that person, though it may feel different because It will be mine (oh yay ). Make any sense??
I think at a time in my life when I needed to be reminded of that feeling. We long for this and it is out there for us. I have been working on me to be ready for something so intense.. in hopes that the other person is doing that same thing
Another thing I learned.. it usually comes when you are not looking for it. Life is funny that way.
Back to basics and find joy in simple things again. You can do this
I did not much to be positive about when the X left. I understand what it feels like.. when you shared your experience it brought so much of that back for me. It is not easy and does not feel fair, though I knew it was for the best. I knew he was not faithful and once trust is gone it is hard to rebuild.
I had to face that I may be alone and accepted that as possible (like you it is trust issues). I would rather have friends than even think about going into another relationship. It is my red flags that keep me there though. Each day I focus on one positive thing no matter what it is. It can be nice weather, good food, good song.. you get the idea.
I have a hectic life and quiet time is hard to come by. I often have to escape more in my mind than anything else. I found that writing all of those feelings out on paper helps too. Everyone needs time to get out of their own head. The job I had was not helping my state of mind, so I had to find another one. Once I started making the small changes I no longer had the negative associations that would trigger pain. I only share some of my experience so you will know you are not alone.
Hang in there Jodi.. you are not alone.
I was going to say that you do not look 50!
I went through the same thing for over 15 years.. and the first question I asked what "what is wrong with me?". They say we attract sociopaths/narcissists and I really believe that is true. This is not a you problem.
My kids did not really understand what I went through until recently when my daughter went and got a reading. They will understand in their own time but don't wait for that.
I love music.. but it plagued me for a while. I started listening to things I had never heard before. You would be surprised to know that changing those little things can change everything. It can be anything really.. change up your routine.. find the things YOU love. You have an opportunity to start again. It's never too late sister!
Visualization helps so much too.
Love & Light and some glitter... why not!!!
I will get this way a few days or weeks before something major happens. I have one friend I can talk to about it that usually feels something is off too. It can be something simple like a change a work, or it can be something global.
Last week I felt the earthquakes but not days before. I got dizzy and felt the ground shake. It was not here of course but you can imagine how interesting that is when everyone around you feels nothing. I have asked if anyone else could feel it when it happens but they don't. I try not to be too obvious about it.. lol
Last week I also experienced some very low vibrations that made me depressed instantly and I felt like I was in slow motion. I then got very confused and it ended up being a health issue with a family member.
Each incident last week was amplified more than ever before (two earthquakes and health issues that I could not explain). That with all of the normal changes in weather and people around me make for an interesting one.
For many yearsI would just sense something was wrong or know something was going to happen, and nowit seems I amfeeling what is going on.
I think you already know the answer to this.
I finally learned in my situation that I was not going to wait for him to make a choice.. it was mine. I had to face and make that decision.
Unless you are looking for a convenient~ on his terms~type of relationship..
(There are so many out there that want a real relationship that are more worth your time.)
Writing things down seems to be clarity for me too
It's the little things that matter the most and you definitely know that!!
Light & Love,
The home page has the Empath Survival Guide "box" on the left side. I would start there for sure. Then you can browse through the various groups and see what you are drawn to.
It took me some time to go through and find techniques that worked the best for me, but keep asking questions as you need to! Chances are someone will have the information you are looking for, or can guide you in the right direction
Absolutely.. the floodgates opened and I had to hold on for the ride. I would say to focus on some of the empath resources offered on the main page. Grounding and learning to let things flow withdeep breathingand other techniques were the big ones for me at the beginning. I know many here that have described similar experiences and have found (and post)various other resources thatcould prove to be a great help for you!
You are not alone..
They were supportive of me the best they knew how. I was the only one that could bring a stray animal home.. they knew it would devastate me and they were aware of my sensitive nature. Having said that I would also say that there were many levels they could not help with. While there is support there in some ways, there was no one I could say was kindred to me. I learned about negative energy early on and no one to talk to about it the way I saw it. It was usually a general overall help of dealing with scary things when one is so young. Now I can say that I knew exactly what I needed to do then and it was unscripted. I didn't have to think about it at all. As I grew up and as everyone knows.. it gets complicated.
I would say that being in hiding is not so much fun, but it was worse to think about trying to tell people what was really going on. All the while searching for someone that could understand.
I try to give but also have to protect myself and have to keep that balance for my family.
I am still sorting out so much of what rose to the surface when the girl from so many years ago opened her eyes from the long sleep. What a wild few years it has been.
Love & Light,
Ever since I can remember I have been this way. It was when I realized that not everyone sees those things... well.. it changed everything. I just could not figure out why people questioned me about my choices or why I did not want to be around certain people. Honestly I did not really know what they meant because it was CLEAR to me that it was where I needed to be. A warning or sorts.
I just had a kids rhyme come to mind.. "I'm rubber, you're glue, what you say bounces off me and sticks on you". I think this can apply to many things and not just words. All I worry about is that I am doing the best I can do and compete with only me. It may be intimidating to others sometimes, or so I have been told. I think that the best thing for me was to know myself, challenge myself to be better. I try to encourage others around me to do the same.
Breath in ... Breath out
Welcome to the EC!
I remember when I realized I was different at a young age. It was hard for me as that is when the feeling of being alone really set in. I was mostly a watcher. I watched people.. fascinated by them. I became reserved and would not talk to people because I was often misunderstood anyway.
I was a truth sayer that did not talk. I searched quietly for someone else that I could relate to. Eventually I just accepted that no one was and that I would have to just hide this whole part of me.
I was tired of being different, I was tired of being the one everyone came to and then no one was there for me.
If you ask me what I like to do I would tell you.. whatever everyone else wants to do. I like to lift the mood in a room so I don't have to feel the negative or heaviness that is there. Might be selfish but it is how I made it through groups.
When I joined here it was a just a great feeling to be around so many that could relate on so many levels
See! So many good insights. I actually had a friend that used to make me jewelry when I was age 6 out of copper wire. Because I just cannot have them on me I never thought about that. It actually explains a lot! Thank you for posting the question because I have taken something away from this too!
Most of the time I feel that I do not fit in anywhere. When I read the article I laughed because I would really never admit to much to anyone no matter. Most people would not believe me anyway.
I just found it kind of funny that it brought up most would not admit that they were one.
You fit in on the board fine.. I was more making a point that most people that have abilities are trying to reach out here to figure out some of what is happening with them. Exploring who you are and talking about it is exactly what you should do. You may not get responses, but then I don't either. The fact that you participate and offer what is going on with you is exactly what you should do. In everyday life, I don't talk much about who I am .. it is othersthat have taken notice and pointed out to me that I do this. I was an empath in the bliss of ignorance. Just going about my daytrying to blend.
I believe there are so many different types of labels.. but who you are is and cannot be defined by one label.I think so many here are greater than can be defined by one word.The type of empath described in the article reminds me of the Never-Ending story for some reason. I realize that the hardest thing to face is self... so to have others that are trying to teach you lessons in this life is very real. I think we are here to do that. Some lessons seem random in nature, and others are very in your face. I have been getting a lot of the latter.
I also find it funny that different cultures have different ways of describing empaths and what the name means (creating a general.. "cool" or "scary" stigma with it. Like one could help being one or not being one.
I was not trying to belittle you or make you feel that your response is not welcome.
They are stuck in a place trying to find a way through it. I havebeen through this in my personal life with a child and will tell you that they need someone to show them. They are often gifted in many ways, but no positive outlet to direct it to.Others I have worked withhad very different situations. Thepast few years were hard.. but I am not the type to give up that easily. Helping them to find a way to use their talents will often open up a whole other world.
In the situation I dealt with it came from an emotionally abusive situation that resulted in a feeling of no hope. This is unacceptable and those individuals have much to offer the world around them. I did not quite understand it.. but charged into it with everything I have to make change. As you know.. many empaths will try to change the environment because they do not like the way it feels. This was true in my situation and still is.
This generation want to be heard. They tire of a system that is not working but also need to see that there is a world out there that needs them.When they feel shut off from the world they cannot learn about interaction with others.. how to cope.Not all will respond depending on whothey are, butmany are just looking for something to be apart of when they do not fit in anywhere else.That is the best I can describe it.
There is always hope, but sometimes just need smaller steps and support to find the "red door".
Ground and let it flow through.
I recallthe strongest one when Ijoined here and it was a good thing that I had that topic discussion. It was the time when I learned the best grounding techniques for me. I learnedmore about myself andstarted to understandthe balance.
Deep Breathing was the best! I also love to have my feet in moving water.. it's the little things!
Do not feed into her either way. She will not have any power to hurt you if you don't allow it. Been there.. done that. Funny how fast they leave when you no longer feed the ego. Stick with truth and do not stoop to her level. Do not give her the ammunition to shoot you with. Understand? I would visualize cutting the cord everytime a negative thought would enter... (I was only in about 18 years).
It can be hardafter so manyyears to look at yourself andsay.. what do I want?
It is convenient for a narcisist to keep people in their lives to make them feel better.Keep cutting that cord but keep sending out positive in her general direction . I had to do it for a long time because ofthe children.The mental/spiritual abuse is hard to overcome, but the day is coming that you will wake up andfeel incredible.
The most important thing you can do is be positive for the offspring .They arethat matters.I now hope everyday for my X to get help and find a "happy place".Until you reach that day I hope you keep rediscovering yourself and building that new base that you need right now.Karmawill take care of this.
Try new things each day.. music.. anything. It will help you to let go and createnew and positive associations. Beginnings are usually scary and unsettling.Also.. guard your own thoughts carefully.You can reflect on things thatmake you better. The lessons to learn are not about pleasing the other person(but you already know that).I would tend to give inso my x wouldleave me alone..but Ihad to stand my ground and say enough.
Continue moving forward.
Keep a journal.I am not keen on tests myself~never have been. There is a place of balance and the way you use your words can make a huge difference. Just having this site helps SO much. You will find your niche' as it were. You can notice words used everyday that people just say without thinking. These words are your outlet. They are common, but effective.
Good Meditation time and writing everything down will give you a chance to connect with your inner truths and providefocus on where to start. One repeating comment is the feeling of isolation. You need to ask for guidance on howto proceed. If you focus too hard on everything you do not haveit can weigh you down. Focus on the little things and build a good groundwork. There are many tools and resources that the EC offers to aid you. Keep revisiting the Survival Guide
Say one thing outloud that you are grateful for each day. You can say this to someone else, or it can be for you only. If I get into a heavy place where negativety likes to seep in.. Ifeel it and let it go through my feet. Learning to let all feelings flow through you is important.I had to get rid of tv and focus on what was out my back door first.Some of the best advice I gotyears ago was to turn off the tv.Although it took me some time to do this..it happened at the best time. Small changes can make a huge difference. Back to basics.
I have heardindividualssay this and I think it is true." Sometimes you need to power down". Take up some free writing or other form of expression. You can do this!
I do not have many where I am, but finding a doctor who practices with a more alternative approach could be an answer. You could get the answers you seek with the end result being help for you instead of meds and psych evals. Ask to be guided in the right direction as to what you should do.
I could go on with example to my own experience, but I will be lucky if this posts.
Best to you!
Yes. It was someone close to me and it was weeks in advance, though the hardest part was 3 weeks before. It does feel like a doom/gloom feeling in some cases. I could not stop crying norcould Iexplainto people why I was so upset. I wanted to be alone. I had "visitors" in my house preparing me for it. This was the one that actually got to me so much that a friend told me I was an empath and led me here.
For individuals that I am not as close to it is not as intense but still the same feelings. The physical pains used to be quite confusing for me. Before I realized what was going on I thought there were serious things wrong with me. Once the person is gone those feelingsgo too. I have to say that I used to get anxiety attacks from it and found the things I learned in Lamaz helped me keep those at bay.
And that is where the silence comes in. I get really quiet when it is clear I am not going to be understood. This is the part where I would typically let it go. It seems pointless trying to continue.
What is even more frustrating is having a friend that says the SAME thing and her having it received the way I intended mine to be.
In school the first online class I took was in tone. I have to literally use smiley faces or other forms of visuals to secure my tone or meaning. It helps but there are simply times people do not want to receive what you are saying or are incapable of doing so. People get absorbed in what they want to see and in a range that is all about themselves. Empaths do not generally see anything in this way, so it is as if you are speaking a different language altogether. In essence you are.
Might it be that you are posting in the wrong environment? Is this a cue that you need to shift focus elsewhere? Are you speaking to the right people? These are a few of the questions I ask myself when I am in a place of frustration.
Not saying I am right, but something to think about.
I have always been misunderstood in a way that resulted in my silence most of the time.
People are drawn to you. You are well spoken andintelligent. People may see your language and assume that you are making a statement (orchallengingthemto take it further) even though you clearly askeda simplequestion. In some cases it could be they are not reading the whole question/statement orthey are on a completely different level than you are.
That is what I see when I read your example of frustration.
What commonly happens to me is that I can be in a discussion and people will argue with meeven thoughwe are saying the same thing. There are times when I crave to be around people that are on the same level so I can have good conversation. It frustrates me and makes mefeelalone most of the time.