Specks of light
Psychic and Paranormal
Thank you Judita.
For a couple months now, I am pretty certain I've been seeing blips of light in the corner of my eye, in my direct line of view which matches the color of light I saw 3 years ago when my guardian angel revealed himself to me. I just question if it's my eyes playing tricks on me or if I am seeing angels. I am also sure that I've seen dark blips of light in daytime. It's happened more than once to have me believing that it's not my eyes playing tricks on me. At this point, I'm just confused at what it is I am seeing.
So is 12pm the right time to call? I'm on the west coast.
I registered Elise. I will call tomorrow. Thank you!
I try to have normalcy in my life by doing volunteer work but even there, I'm someone special that people just want to be around and talk to. And when they aren't doing that, they all want my help. I try to blend in as a normal person but it doesn't work because something abnormal always happens to me wherever I am and that frustrates me. No one in my life knows about the real me, some may simply have an understanding that I am special to them as they all have mentioned to me. My boss and a friend of hers had commented how I feel so peaceful to be around. So even in "normal" situations, people still treat me like I'm different.
How do I handle it? I don't I guess. I don't have people in my real life to talk to about this. So I keep this part of myself private cuz imagine how I would be treated if they not only knew the truth, but felt it was something that was freakish. I already feel like a huge freak. I don't need people treating me like I am. How do I survive it? I just live life. That's all you can do. One thing I've learned about empaths is that we are built strong. We may endure tons of abuse over the course of our lives, but we bounce back and survive. That's all we can do.
Yes. Empaths can not only experience trauma more than the average person, but we feel it so we're more likely to develop this. I, unfortunately have it and it came on during my Fall 2011 semester of college. I was overwhelmed to the fullest and hearing my professor's criticisms to a paper I worked straight through my Thanksgiving vacation for sent me into an emotional spiral. Later that year, I was violated physically and that left me traumatized for 9 months. Then I moved away from NY to Oregon where I spent 7 months living under the landlady from hell's roof. So it was one trauma after the next and I have all the symptoms, the fear the trauma will happen again, the constant flashbacks, not wanting to face the rest of the world. I have it bad and I don't know how I get through life some days.
When I lived in NYC, how people felt was something I could distinguish between various people. I could sense who was different, perhaps empathic with ease. Upon moving to Oregon, everyone feels exactly the same. I can no longer distinguish between who's different and who is not. Eugene, OR is a very creative and spiritual city. There are tons of artists here and just about everyone I've met seems to be at one with themselves. I can't tell you how many people I've spoken to who have mentioned bad or good energy to me. It's not something typical one would discuss. My Spidey sense doesn't work here, and that's unfortunate. Or maybe it is working and I just don't know it is because the lifestyle here is much different than in NYC. In NY, I would keep my empathic nature to myself because I knew no one would ever understand. Here, because everyone feels the same, I have a gut feeling that I could openly discuss my nature and it would be 100% understood. I've struggled with this because everyone feels the same and I can't discern who I can open up to just about what life is like being one that absorbs energy like a sponge.
I only discovered I was empathic 4 years ago and 4 years ago I came to the vast realization that I was always an empath. But certain moments during that time helped define who I am now as an empath and I wanted to share them and perhaps others can share their own defining moments as an empath or spiritual being.
-In September 2010, after finding the first of my 2 soul brothers here on EC, I was coming home from class when I experienced something so very strange and unreal. As I was ascending the steps to the subway station, I felt like gravity increased or I gained a 100 lbs and I was weighed down severely. Ironically, I was coming home from Weight Management class and my thighs were sore from using the treadmill so naturally, I thought my muscles gave out the moment I started climbing the steps. I had never felt anything like that before and I didn't know what caused it. Later on that night, my brother and I were chatting on Yahoo when he told me he experienced a psychic attack and one of the feelings he had was feeling like gravity increased. He couldn't move. I told him I felt that today too! He figured I probably felt it with him or before it happened to him. Either way, he spoke of a great connection between the two of us that I didn't yet understand until that day.
-Later on that month, I began sensing people. It's not something I was aware of prior but became obvious to me once it started happening. I can't tell you how long it's been since I've seen certain people, but suddenly they are on my mind and boom, there they are right in front of me. Not only is it extremely random, but what are the odds of running into the very person you thought of that you haven't seen or heard from in so very long? In one case, I sensed a friend named Krystal who was a classmate of mine. I haven't seen her around campus in a few years, so I assume she graduated. That day outta the blue I just thought of her. Not only did I think of her, I am pretty certain I saw her on a crowded bus that was leaving the school. She was there and I'm certain of what I saw. 5 minutes later, Krystal, who I haven't seen in 2-3 years is standing right behind me! The first words outta my mouth was, "Were you just on that bus??" She said no. I asked what she was doing here. She said she had a few more credits to acquire before she can graduate and she had to take one last class. That was the beginning of multiple sensing encounters where I thought of someone I hadn't seen in a long time only to see them that day or that week and this has happened a few times during that semester and it still happens to me today. I'm assuming sensing is a form of telepathy. It's almost like I am bringing them to me which is incredible. One of the very things I hope to accomplish with my abilities is being able to sense if someone is in a room even if I can't see or hear them. I know I have the power inside me to do just that. They are there, just buried beneath the surface.
-And finally, speaking of telepathy, I must share my first time being aware of telepathically hearing someone in my head. I was looking at a friend's Facebook info section where it showed the languages he spoke. At that moment, I heard a voice in my head. I can't remember for the life of me what he said but I know I heard it. This guy was from Mississippi, so I expected him to have a big southern accent but the voice I heard sounded like he was more from the north than the south. Well it just so happened that his girlfriend is a good friend of mine from EC so that night, I asked her on Yahoo how he sounded and she pretty much told me exactly what I heard. She's from the south but he doesn't have a southern accent, more northern. So I had determined that, boom! That was my first telepathic experience. It's such a shame that it doesn't happen as often and as clear as it did then. One thing I notice about my abilities then compared to now is, although I was unaware of how many abilities I had inside me, they were sharpest when I was unaware of what I was. So shortly after I discovered my true nature, that's when I had all these psychic experiences and it gives me a glimpse into what my future will be like.
It's not conceited in the least. Personally, I struggle with believing in myself and how beautiful a person others see me as. And being empathic with a few abilities inside me that makes me feel so unpretty, it's very very easy for me to see myself as anything but a beautiful person. I've only recently learned to love and accept myself for who I am and what I am becoming. I do see the beautiful soul that others see in me and I am not afraid to say that. Neither should you be.
I never got a chance to go in depth about what I do with my time here in Oregon now that I am not in school for the time being. As we all know, empaths love helping people. It is within our nature to help whenever we can. I knew that once I moved to Oregon I wanted to do volunteer work with my free time, otherwise I'd be staying home doing a whole lotta nada. I was introduced to a place called MECCA which stands for Materials Exchange Center for the Community Arts. As a store volunteer, I do many things from organizing inventory, stocking shelves, taking in donations and most important, working the register.
One job I never wanted nor thought I would ever have is customer service and this is for many reasons. Mainly because people make me nervous and I tend to get overwhelmed by them and because I want to avoid rude customers whenever I can. I've been working there for a year, next month and in that time I've grown as someone the customers, volunteers and staff enjoy being around. It brings me great satisfaction to help the amount of people I do daily. I've developed a routine when working the register, what to say, how to greet them, just to relax and be myself.
Many customers enjoy seeing me there and I enjoy seeing them. I feel I was meant to be working here as it is a great way to help many people in the community. I don't know where I'll be 5 years from now or if I'll still be working at MECCA but in the meantime, I can smile knowing that I can double or triple the amount of people I help just by being at MECCA. Are any of you fulfilling your natural urge to help people, if so, in what way?
Yes, I noticed prior to my moving in, that my soon to be roommate felt like a brother to me. And I mean in the spiritual sense and not someone who acts like a brother. he felt like my soul brother Wolf and no one has ever felt like him but him. They are a lot alike and I'm wondering if we have crossed paths or were related in a past life.
I've never been into numerology taking the time to know what the numbers mean. But it wasn't until after I joined here that I started noticing a pattern in the number that seems to have been always with me. The number 3. I met my soul brothers here and we became a trio of empathic brothers who have destinies ahead of us. In NYC, I lived on the 3rd floor. When I moved to Oregon, my house number was 833. My house number now is 975 which adds up to 3. My birthdate which was most shocking adds up to 3: 2/8/83. I was born in the 3rd year of the 1980s. I found out I was an empath at the age of 27. 27 adds up to 9 and 9 is the square root of 3.
The number three represents the Holy Trinity among other things. It's kinda one of those things you don't pay attention to until something brings it to your attention. I must mention Charmed is my favorite show of all time and I totally believe in the Power of Three and the Triquetra has been a favorite symbol of mine for ages. I wonder what else in the number 3 has been right in front of my eyes that I didn't see.
No worries, that's exactly the answer I was looking for. Yes, to be clear, I understand that angels are with everyone, but in some instances if an archangel perhaps were to be close to someone at all times, would the people in that person's every day life sense that? I've discussed that archangel Gabriel is very close to me but I never realized how close until I started getting strange behavior from the people I interact with. It's either people who just love being in my presence and often comment on how gentle I am, which I am not trying to be, that's just who I am, or it's the people on the other end of the spectrum who find me to be intimidating for no reason whatsoever. They are threatened by me and I have no clue why. Gabriel said he will ALWAYS be with me and he capitalized always to emphasize that he won't leave my side. So I understand now, that he's always with me and I just get the impression a lot of people sense that.
I was even under the impression myself that I can't be in close living quarters with people for too long because they might either love me too much and want me to always be there for them or they may find my presence to be bothersome even if I'm a quiet little church mouse who you never see or hear. It's been a working theory that I've had over the last few years and I guess I am trying to ascertain if that theory is a reality. On a personal note, my roommate and I had our first "fight". He was angry at his brother, my other roommate and I heard shouting and what sounded like slamming/punching, so I went out to see what was wrong and I told him to calm down because the situation is not that serious where you have to shout like you are about to kill someone. After that he got in my face and told me I don't know him well enough to tell him to calm down and he was very threatening to me and I felt highly intimidated and scared. It's been a week, he apologized a week ago for over reacting, however, the experience left me with trauma(I battle PTSD) and so I could not face him for the entire week. Today he asked me if we'll be okay and that he spent the week overthinking how he hurt me and how he reacted and he wanted me to hug him. We still have to talk about the incident, but long story short, when he reacted that way, I thought here I am again in the same situation where the person I am living with can't stand me somehow. So this topic was generally about what I mentioned here.
Thanks Josette. Enjoy the holiday season and have a happy new year.
I'm very introverted. I don't like crowds. I don't like being around a lot of people I don't know. Even a lot of people I do know, it's difficult to be there with them. I can also be very social if I need to be, such as when I am at work. I've handled many a day where we had tons of customers. Of course, I was overwhelmed, but I just went with the flow of things until every customer was gone.
I have an Archangel with me. Possibly two. Aside from that, I don't think it's a spirit or other energy. He sees something strong so I believe it is that. The spying seems to get him totally caught up in what he's spying on cuz when I caught him staring at me, he jump back and ran away and hit his head on the corner of the bookshelf. So I believe it's beyond watching me, but watching something in me or around me. He's entranced by it.
The cat has been sleeping right outside my door as of lately, and by lately, I mean in the last 2-3 days. I've been here 5 months and the cat has never slept anywhere near my door. I'm wondering if it's because I'm the only room in the house which has the heat running all day. But even so, you can't feel the heat outside my door, but the moment you walk in. So I'm convinced he's sleeping outside my door because of me. I woke up to him at 12am this morning on my chest attempting to get comfortable by digging his claws into me. That is not a pleasant feeling so I shooed him away. Yes, the animals are acting very suspicious around me.
I am confused on why I see dreams the way they are shown to me. I was told that I had to find the truth in my dreams and sometimes that is not easy. I do have a journal. I try to add to it when I can. It's been my guide for the past decade, next May will be ten years since I started it.
Thanks Josette Hugs,
I was looking for a Seer Group but I guess we don't have one. I've always taken anything I see in dreams very seriously whether it is a future occurrence or not. After learning I am destined to be a prophet I started looking at the things I see in dreams like it was a matter of life and death. To have that burden on one's shoulders if they should happen to see something bad that may come true is horrible.
2 months ago, I dreamt of my friend's mother being in a wheelchair. He is in a wheelchair due to spina bifida. The woman in the dream was not his mother, but a mother figure. Since I knew what his mom looked like from pictures on facebook, I knew it wasn't her I dreamed of. But I wanted to know who the woman was that I dreamed of so I had him send me a pic of his sister, who is older and was a mother figure to him growing up. It was her in the dream, however, the circumstance of being in a wheelchair did not relate to her.
A few weeks later, he sent me a message saying he thinks I may be psychic cuz his mom went to the doctor and she has a nerve issue that may end up confining her to a wheelchair. When I got that message my stomach dropped because I didn't want to be right, God no. I only intended to tell him of the dream and see a picture of the woman I dreamt of. I didn't think that I was actually making a prophecy. I asked Gabriel to be with his mom and to guide her through any health struggles she may be going through.
A few minutes ago I was watching Charmed when I began recalling a possible dream I had last night involving my friend and his mom. It's almost like a memory I was remembering as opposed to a dream I was remembering. I remember my friend Norb telling me his mom was in the hospital and he would get back to me on if she is going to end up confined to a wheelchair. I do not want to tell him about this dream at all since the last time I may have innocently made a prediction regarding her health. However, I want to know the current health of his mom without being suspicious and leading him to believe I saw something again.
My brother Wolf taught me many things and one important thing he taught me is when you see things, don't always be in such a hurry to discuss it with the person you dreamed of because I would be creating bias in letting them know of a future event that should come to them when it does without me dropping hints. As I said, everything I see and recall is taken very seriously. I just hope I won't be getting a message soon from Norbert saying his mom is in the hospital.
Oh yes, he definitely wants to be near me. He's always following me and sometimes literally steps on my toes to be near me. He was a small puppy when we got him and he has grown up basically overnight so he knows me, I'm not a stranger to him. I don't like it when he growls at me. I would like to know what he sees that is threatening to him to illicit such a reaction. All this just shows me further that I am definitely different if I wasn't already convinced.
My empath friends I have different bonds with than let's say college friends. I put up my FB info on my EC profile so that those who I've connected with me here can also stay connected with me there as well. I have no intention to remove you as a friend. Likewise, I enjoy seeing your art and the things you post. Life as an empath is truly difficult because we grow close to just about everyone and that can blow up in your face if you're not careful. It's one of the biggest flaws I find with being an empath and I struggle with that daily. I truly do.
So I had never lived with an animal as an empath aside from my bunny rabbit Gabriel. In my household, there's Gabriel, a dog and a cat. I've been aware now for sometime that the dog seems intrigued by something he sees when I am at home. He has barked at me and growled like he saw something there but it was just me. My roommates don't know about it. The dog also tends to stalk me. I've caught him a couple times staring at me from around the corner and peeking through the crack in my door. He seems to be fixated on something he sees when he looks at me. I managed to snap a pic of him doing it last week:
It's a little spooky because of course, I would love to know what he sees. What he senses. I am ever-intrigued by light and what it looks like energywise why people are so drawn and attracted to it. I definitely feel my light is growing brighter because the way people treat me has changed in the last year. They literally treat me like I am an angel. My nickname at work is Buddha because I am so calm and gentle and I am only being myself so it makes me feel like they dunno the real me and are only sensing what/who I am.
Before I knew I was an empath, my friends--every last one of them, no matter how I met them--meant a lot to me and it meant a lot to keep them in my life. However, they generally don't speak to me and this creates a moral conflict within myself to decide to keep them in my life because I feel close to them or to cut the ties that bind and leave old relationships in the past where they belong.
Up until 2010, it was brutal to come to the realization that these people are only in my life because they feel close to me for whatever reason. Hanging onto them will not make me feel any better as they all became empty friendships. So I began the purging process(in Facebook terms) and began removing people I'd been friends with for years outta my life. There are a few who I've been friends with for almost a decade who don't talk to me whom I feel obligated to still keep around. That's where it gets conflicting because inside, I can't tell if these friendships are like the others and I think of how long we've known each other to determine if I should keep them or let them go.
About 3 weeks ago, an old college friend of mine who I hadn't spoken to in about 2 years just up and sent me a Facebook message asking how I was. The last time I spoke to her was two years prior. Before I moved to the west coast. She called me and asked me to do her a favor and be interviewed by someone so she can get this job she had been wanting to get. I felt used. That there is the basis of most of my relationships. People only keep me in their lives so I can help them, otherwise they don't talk to me. Anyway, she sent me a message out of the blue asking how I was and to see if I changed my number. I had been living in Oregon for a year now and she claims she "didn't know." I post about my new life in Oregon damn near everyday so it's hard to miss that. Also, that showed me she had not been on my profile for at least a year because my current city says Eugene, OR. Moving on, when I said I did change my number because I moved, she asked for my new number and where I had moved to.
The entire message was insulting because that's not what friends do. How do you have me on Facebook but can be oblivious to anything that's happened in my life for the past year? I am very cautious with whom I give my new number to. Not just anyone can have it as my last number everyone had. I did not want to give her direct access to me via phone so she can call me to talk about her life and ask me to do her favors. I wanted to tell her that no, she could not have my new number, but in fear of hurting her feelings, I just ignored the rest of the message and moved on with life.
It's examples like that which make me want to shed the friendships of my past so I can no longer dwell on them and keep them around. Befriending an empath is difficult because you really don't know if they befriended you for you or if they befriended you because they feel close to you. Learning to let go of relationships has helped me immensely.It's not so much me saying goodbye to them and mourning what used to be a friendship, it's me cutting cords so that I may be able to meet new people who come into my life for a greater reason than feeling close to me.
I've tried to cut cords with some people only to have them reattached. In the case of my mother's sister, she claims to add all the family on Facebook so she can keep tabs on their lives. I would watch her communicate with all the family but me. Sharing pics of the family with captions like "This wonderful young woman is my niece!" but with me, just silence and wind blowing. Never makes contact with me, never acknowledges me, only keeps me around so she can be nosy? As a private person, I did not like that and felt she had to go. It wasn't even a month that she was gone from my profile before she started asking questions to her daughter, my cousin. "Where's Jonny? I don't see him anymore." After a few times of asking this, she called her daughter who in turn called me to conference me on the phone to ask me directly what happened on Facebook why she doesn't see me anymore. I was so baffled that this was actually happening.
It's happened a few times with different people. As I grow older and more wiser, I become fully aware of what's happening and if I should choose to cut cords with someone, it's done with no looking back. No acknowledgement of their attempts to re-enter my life. If they could only see what an empath sees and what an empath feels, then they would know why I had to privately say goodbye.
I have a serious question that I would like those EC members who have experience with angels to answer for me. What are the consequences or long term results of being around angels all the time, like every day? Let's say an angel is close to a human, with that human all the time, always. Will the people that human interacts with daily be affected by the angel's presence? This is a very important question that I have been meaning to ask for such a long time, I just didn't know how to phrase it. But I am super curious if angels who are close to specific humans in general can be felt by the people that person interacts with.
Prior to discovering who I am, I had reason to believe I was an empath, however, I made the decision to research if I am an empath after losing 3 best friends in a row. I felt I was damaged and wanted to know why I couldn't keep friends. So I googled if I am an empath and found EC. Each loss was devastating to me because I loved them all and felt they all betrayed me by easily walking away from me. My last lost friendship really hurt me bad. It was a pain I was holding onto, so much so that the first ever empath I spoke to online asked me if I suffered a recent break up.
Reposting this with links to the images in case anyone gets freaked out by these pictures, I know I would cuz it feels like they are looking through me.
Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes and Andrew Koenig, two celebrities with unusually dark eyes who I know were empaths before they died. Andrew's eyes told me a lot. He committed suicide some years ago and I truly believe it was due to the emotional pain he felt. He could not deal with it. And as for Lisa, her big dark eyes intrigued me for years. They told me a lot, but I never realized she may be empathic until recently when I looked up a video of her, a documentary she was filming just days before she died which showed her speaking of premonitions she would get. That's all she needed to say to convince me she was a psychic empath and struggled with her emotions which is why she had to get away to Honduras to spiritually meditate and get away from the chaos that is life.
People with eyes like these two speak to me long before I know anything about their personal lives. I always said that people with big dark, black looking eyes feel emotions deeper than any people in the world and I never knew why I would say that, just that I know this is true for some reason. May they both rest in peace.
I hate awkward silences and I sometimes make an attempt to say SOMETHING so two of us aren't standing there and no one is talking, but if this person is SHADY, my silence is automatic. I may not consciously know you, but subconsciously, I don't want anything to do with you so I keep to myself. And I've been made aware that everybody this happens with is shady. This girl, my mom's brother, my sister's ex boyfriend. Shady, duplicitous people who put on an act in front of the world. I guess the fact of the matter is that those who find an issue with my introversion deep down don't like that I already know who they are.
I told my roommate about what I am, which has been a painful struggle in just making a solid decision of yes or no, should I or shouldn't I. I waited for the right moment, prayed on it, been patient awaiting for the opportune moment to spit it out.
I guess I should start from the beginning. His sorta girlfriend, but not girlfriend, just a good friend who stays over now and then(every other night much to my annoyance) mentioned to him how she thinks I don't like her. She's right. Her energy bothers the hell outta me and she is always here, walking into my home at 1:30am when Jamal isn't even here, but at work. I find much wrong with that and I'm just tired of seeing her. She has her own home, she should live there once in a while. Anyway, she mentioned to him that she thinks I don't like her and prior to that conversation I had a conversation with him about how people are threatened by my introversion. Some people find my silence down right offensive and all I'm doing is keeping to myself. I told him today I knew that was coming because I sorta felt it from her, but it was faint. I go through this with everyone and 100% of the time the people who complain that I don't talk to them have never outright said hello, Jonny, how are you to me. So I find that to be a game of attention that people play and I am not one of the players. I don't play that game and it bothers me a lot that people do it to me.
After he told me that today I asked to see him in my room where I nervously showed him the EC homepage and explained what it was. He said he knows what empaths are and from there I showed him my profile and instead of speaking nervously about what I am, I let him just read my about me. Just a few short sentences about my experiences. I used that time to calm myself and tell him more about who I am and what I experience. There's still much more to tell him, but I got the gist of it out and explained that that was the big secret I had been harboring since I moved in that I wanted to tell him. I don't open up to anyone, just the people I trust and I've had multiple bad experiences with not even telling people the empath secret, but explaining to people that my introversion is due to something else that I can't help, but it is who I am and they all ignored it.
He was very accepting of what I had to say. Said he's a believer cuz a lot has happened to him and I let on that I believe he is an empath and explained that before I moved in, I sat next to him on the couch and not only did he feel like an older brother, he felt like Wolf, my older soul brother. No one has ever felt like Wolf before and I think that means something. I went on to say that my life is WEIRD. Not human weird, but weird and that anything more that I tell him is not so that he will believe me, but so he can understand more about who I am. I felt this was necessary because we are living together and I wouldn't want something to happen with him sensing something about me and he's thrown off by it like many people are.
Lastly, in my about me I wrote that I have experienced telepathy on occasion but it's not recurring. When I go food shopping, I keep essential items in my room so his family does not devour my food when I am not here. I heard him discussing with his brother that he wanted to cook rice but there was none here. So I got my secret stash of rice out, went into the kitchen and said "I'm all up in your brain today." and put the rice on the counter. He came into my room and said I need to turn my channels off. I think he really thought I telepathically knew that he wanted to cook rice and went out and bought it. I did go shopping right after our conversation today. But no, that wasn't a telepathic moment, just a coincidence. But it's nice to know he's accepting. It's a huge relief cuz every moment we are together I just want to spit it out, but I can't. I waited, been patient, prayed on it, asked God for a sign to show me this was right and although I didn't see any signs, I did notice how every time I wanted to tell him, he was interrupted by life: family, phone calls, etc.
This was just part 1 of the buttload of stuff I want to share with him. But all in due time. It's not me wanting to bombard him with everything I know, but gently deliver the calf I am holding inside. PS, his sorta girlfriend but not is here....again. Lorda mercy. She makes me nervous. She's sketchy.
When living with people, you don't always have control over who they bring into the home. It's not like I could say for instance, "Because I am an empath, make sure you don't bring anyone home for an undisclosed number of days until I feel like being around people again."
But, what I do have control over is people being in my personal space, such as my bedroom or any space that I have claim over. I don't know why some people have issues with me wanting to be alone. That's my right. Don't feel like you have the right to say I am being antisocial or weird. That's my prerogative. Do you understand what it means to be an empath? No? Then you should have no problems with me needing personal me time.