No, I just remember when I went down the same rabbit hole of thought and doubt.
No TF story is the same. They don't all work out this time around. The best advice I can give you is accept/let go. Not to walk away, but completely and totally accept that it might not work out and you'll be okay if it doesn't. Just enjoy the person when they're around, cherish the moments like they might not happen again. Don't bog yourself down with heavy emotions of sadness that it might not work, it's not worth missing out on the little moments.
I was waiting a while to respond so I could better convey the concepts I am thinking about Narcs and Empaths. I think it may be appropriate to say they are a yin/yang of sorts? The universe seems to like pairing us with narcs.
[quote .there are many different reasons as to why a narcissist is the way he/she is but it really doesn't matter
You're right. I had to accept a lot time ago after trying to heal and fix a narc that they may have a reason to act the way they do - but it is NOT an excuse and it is NOT acceptable to treat someone the way they do.
I disagree with solidly defining something that hasn't been proven by science yet. Everything is speculation, no matter how sure you are. If someone experiences this thing as a different dimension and someone else experiences it as a spirit realm, what matters is: you're experiencing the same thing.
I experience very dramatic personality changes from lack of sleep also. I think it has to do with emtional functions. Ive read some articles that explain how lack of sleep dramatically reduces most people's emotional control. For empaths, this is detrimental.
I also don't COMPLETELY understand the trances that come over myself. I have felt the "this feels like a movie" and my s/o has felt it at the same moment. Often, he will mention it before I will. I have played with the idea that we have been here before, or maybe when this happens, we were meant to be in this place? It's like a reverse of dejavu. In stead of "this has happened before" it's like "this was coming and now it's happening." Let me know your thoughts on this.
I've also experiences the 3-5 second trance with no memory after returning. Not sure what this is, either. From the way you phrased things, maybe it is an automatic reaction to something? Or a self defense mechanism?
As for the trances of other people - strangers in the grocery store - this happens to me less often. I had learned how to shield a while ago and changed the way my mind is wired to do this almost automatically. It hasn't happened in a long time with strangers, but still happens with co-workers I am not very familiar with. I will ask a quick question and some of them will go off on a in-depth story of how this thing is happening to them, or something that happened to them before. Lately, it has been current things happening to them.
http://empathcommunity.eliselebeau.com/spiritualskies>@spiritualskies [quote doing his own rituals that would either exacerbate a situation for me because he's being using wrong methods approaches to battle on behalf of me
Have you considered you have subconsciously blocked his help from being successful? You have judged his ritual to be incorrect, so it's possible you only rejected his work.
I have learned over the years that intent is what makes or breaks the work we do, not the ritual itself. Honest, heartfelt praying to your God will produce similar results to someone of another faith casting a spell with the same end-result in mind. No ritual is wrong, it's just taking a different path to the same end.
Good for you! Too many people continue going through their cycle of abuse, not understanding what the universe is trying to teach them. I know we don't know each other, but as someone who has experienced abuse from both father and significant other, I am so, so, very proud of you. Congratulations on your victory, and never let anyone make you feel chained or cornered.
If you all don't mind opening up on this subject, it appears that there is a fairly large amount of people with mental illness disorders exhibiting psychic abilities (ranging from ADHD to bi-polar and schizophrenia). If I am correct, and this is indeed a common pattern, I am wondering what is the cause? I also notice that while psychic abilities run in families, so does mental illness. And I again wonder if there is a similar connection there?
I have a working theory a friends and I came up with a few years ago.. We think some mental illnesses can be realted to not being "grounded" enough. Like, if someone were to open up *so* much mentally, emotionally, and spiritually they are unable to return to the material plane and lose track of what is "real".
I understand. That's interesting. I do not know much about the Qur'an. I try to research different religions from time to time because I find them really interesting.
I was raised Christian with strong ties to Catholic extended family. I attended both Christian and Catholic Sunday schools from time to time.
As I grew, I realized I, personally, never felt any connection with either religion and became Atheist, then Agnostic for a long time. I now have studied solitary, eclectic Pagan+Wiccan traditions for a few years now and feel really connected to it.
I consider myself universalist/unitarian also. I think all religions are correct, at their core. In my understanding of this idea, place a statue of a human in the center of a room and have a few dozen or more people form a circle around it. Some people will see the back of the head, the side, the front. It is the same statue, but different perspective and points of view. Also, when you throw in color blindness, or people who can see extra colors you add more variations. In further addition, some people can see farther away than other people can and some people can only see very close up. Some people could be blind, which would require them to see through touch. No one is wrong, and no one is more correct than another person.
Then to further think about this idea i imagine maybe it is not a statue. It might be a hologram, or even a reflection from glass.
This is one of my favorite things to think about.
I am not Christian or Catholic so I do not know a lot about the Holy Trinity. Google says:
The Christian doctrine of the Trinity (Latin: Trinitas, lit. 'triad', from Greek τριάς and τριάδα, from Latin: trinus "threefold") holds that God is one God, but three coeternal consubstantial persons or hypostases—the Father, the Son (Jesus Christ), and the Holy Spirit
On a personal level, 3 is one of my favorite numbers. It is strong and very stable. If you think about a triangle, you cannot push on the sides of it and have it collapse - like a square would.
The saying "good things come in three's" or "third time is the charm" and the karmic "what you send out comes back to you three fold"
I mean, it is said that repeating numbers are just.. multiplied. Whatever your significance with 1 or 2 or 3 is.. when the number is repeated it just lends more "power" or "energy".. like a multiplier.
If we're speaking in terms of numerology the numbers are 1 through 9, 11, 22, and 33. So if you see 333 the number should be added as 3+3+3=9.
This is wonderful and highly important. Shouldn't let what someone tells you is right, become right for you.
Numbers are extremely interesting to me. They mean different things for different people. You can use numerology, historic symbolism, or angel numbers, etc. It's about what meaning/interpretation resonates within you.
33's and 3's in general are not inherently evil numbers. You can relate the number to the holy trinity.
3's and 33's, to me, are amazing. I have always had a "trinity" in my family - my mom, sister and I. We are all best friends.
I have had 3 serious relationships, all with Sagittarius, 2 being soul mates.
My "given" name's numerology comes to 11. My parents were not married when I was born, so until i was 6 (when they did finally get married) I was given my mom's last name.
I believe 11's are healing/beginnings - but I don't think they have significance in times of the day or dates. I do think if you happen to look at a time or if a timer is counting up or down and you happen to look at a repeating number it has significance but mostly like a "hey, pay attention."
I understand, . My SM is a narc. I have not spoken to him in many years and I still have PTSD episodes of what he used to do to me. It bothers my TF sometimes because he thinks I act like he hurts me. I always have to explain that I went somewhere else in my mind. He's getting it, so lately he will remind me he doesn't abuse me. It makes me come back, because I realize it hurts him when I get lost.
It's going to be really hard for a long time. I don't know how it works for others, but, for me.. After we realized we had more than just friend feelings for each other, the following year was hard. He would continually "ghost" me ever few months or so. Sometimes block me on social media (which, was one of the only ways we talked because he lived in another state.) The last time he did, it lasted roughly 5 weeks. During the time he was gone, I gave up. I accepted everything and started picking up my own pieces and putting them back in order. I started dating, started going out more with friends. I got to the point where I only thought about him once a week t'word the end.
Even when he started talking to me again, I didn't let the cord roots take hold. I kept my distance and kept being by myself. He visited his home state and drove 6 hours to come see me for a few days. When he left, I didn't shed a single tear. I said to myself "And this is the last time I will ever see him. He won't be back, and that's okay." He looked like he was going to cry on his drive back.
He drive all the way back 2 days later. Said he wanted to be serious. We've been together ever since.
As for my attic - I've asked it to leave my sister and nephew alone while they visit. They're both sensitive and felt nothing when they stayed overnight. It seems to get curious when you enter the room, but feels almost like it leaves when you get to the top of the steps.
When I paint sometimes I feel it kind of hanging around. I don't mind (her?)
I have had some spirits at my home that I don't bother with because they don't cause me trouble. They're everywhere anyway and it's a good thing to respectfully share the home. But for your mother's place she should try some of the things I suggested to see if they help reduced the activity.
I will work with her next time I am home.
There are 2 upstairs in my old room/the hallway - suspected to be the couple who built the home in 1880. They are the staring type. Their sight makes you feel like their eyes are boring into your skin - make you feel super awkward. They don't really feel aggressive, just creepy and nosey.
The one in my nephew's play room/sister's room/under the attic steps: I'm not sure if this is 2 entities or just one. A dog we used to have would charge under the steps, barking, growling and attacking something. That area is extremely creepy. It's like something's under the steps and angrily watching you when you open the door.
It might be a second entity as when my nephew was an infant he would hold conversations with someone named "big." and now he won't go upstairs to his play room alone, and sleeps on the couch in the living room.
There is another in the hallway/upstairs bathroom. My sister thinks it's a little girl who likes water. I don't like the sound of that and suspect some kind of malignant force. Never feel attacked, but really creeped out and almost pushed out of the bathroom.
The last one is in the basement. If you go into the basement you can feel it retreat to the other side. (there is a second basement, beside the part you enter.) There are no lights over there and you can feel this terrible, horrifying energy. If no one opens the door or bothers it, it doesn't bother anyone, so I'm kind of okay with this guy.
Yes. My father being a narc and obsessed with my mom just made things worse. The medium my mom was seeing told her the spirit was also really obsessed with her. She said "he said he will never let you go."
There is nothing (at least, what is in the attic is very calm and minds her own business) at my current house. My parents house has roughly 6 entities floating around. 2 of them are aggressive.
You brought up an interesting side bar topic. I don't personally think empaths can convert to narcs. However, empaths can become pretty nasty when their vibrations are lowered for a long period of time. I can admit to that personally happening to me. And when that happens they empaths start mirroring narc behavior from someone else who is close to them. You can see this happen when an empath is stuck in a controlling relationship with a narc.
Yes, this has happened to me before. I was in an abusive relationship with a narc, trying to hold a relationship with my narc father, and working for a particularly nasty narc/energy vampire, all at the same time. I still retain the ability to "steal" energy from others, but I think it is a survival mechanism.
I absolutely adore cleaning to clear energies! My favorite is to burn some dragon's blood incense and scrub my kitchen with citrus scented cleaners, being sure to get those weird places no one thinks about (nooks, crannies, corners, etc)
The dragon's blood provides a very clean smell, almost chemical or clinical while the citrus adds freshness.
The answer is going to range from person to person. It is like asking "what do you want to be when you grow up?"
My answer would be something like, the most healed, strongest version of myself. There are sides to my personality that I am not yet ready to deal with/face. There are also memories of my past I have not worked through and healed from yet. My most complete self would be not only physically strong and healthy but also mentally and emotionally strong and healthy.
I wholly believe unfortunate things (things that make us angry, sad, etc) happy to us for a reason. The reason may be past (or current) life karmic debt, or a lesson we are meant to learn to become our most complete selves.
Be extra careful with that kind of behavior as it is another mental manipulation tactic to establish control and can very easily cause you to develop stockholm syndrome.
I can relate. My father-in-law is such an extreme narc who takes great pleasure in hurting and manipulating people that I think he may be a sociopath. And he cannot stand me. And I take personal pleasure in that my empathy makes him comfortable because I can see through his mask to see the real him (very insecure underneath). And he knows this at a soul level and it drives him crazy. I think there is something also to an empath's vibration that gets narcs so jittery and uncomfortable because I see this type of reaction from narcs all of the time. So if your narc Dad can't dislike your significant other, take that as validation that you're with the right person!
I will try a salt bath at some point, I am sure. I have disconnected all cords to my father and only speak to him once or twice a year when I am home. My mom is a highly sensitive empath who has not yet escaped his clutches. It is insane how the universe pairs us. I have dated a narc before too, and barely made it out. Of course, my father loved him and dislikes/distrusts the empath I am currently with.
That is beautiful and really encouraging to me, being born from a narc I am in perpetual fear of becoming like him and mistreating my significant other or the people around me. Thank you
And as a final note, I have been reading lately about how some people have past life karma as a person or as a family blood line that is carried forward. These families sometimes have a common disfunction, alcoholism, or chronic illness that is centered around this. It's a very interesting theory because I can identify with this with a lot of families I have known (including my own). And as an empath there are ways we can help families like this break the cycle and rid the past karma. But, they have to do their part and break the habits that contribute to this.
Wouldn't helping someone rid themselves of past life or familial karma be over-stepping? I am curious as my family has suffered multiple generations of abuse. Are you referring to helping people break those chains or of some kind of specially energetic work?
Also, I had seen a post that said "be careful who you save, you could be interrupting karma." What are your thoughts on this?
You're not a narc, this is a common problem with empaths where we start expressing the energy that we take in. ... So based on your comments, and the comments of others here, this appears to be a common phenomenon for empaths.
I think the reason any empath feels angry and irritable is due to the need for grounding and energy balance. Each day we go out to the world and take in negative energy. That's what we do. We get filled up with that low vibrational energy. And if its not grounded out it will start spilling out of us as expressions of anger or depression...
You're 100% right here and I didn't even think about this angle, either. My method of grounding is very different, though. I will go to the gym and lift weights and feel vastly different after. Some people take walks in nature or stand in grass with bare feet.
My favorite methods of grounding are more like "what connects you to the earth?" or "what connects you, mindfully, to your body?"
I forgot to mention that my significant other said something that has always stuck with me and continues to ring true:
"People only get angry because they don't understand something."
I have spent a lot of time thinking this over and find it to be true.
Computer problems? Angry because I don't understand why the computer is acting this way.
Angry because i don't understand someone's reaction/view point.
Angry because I don't understand--
We do talk through a lot of these things together. But I have a deep understanding that someone else should not impede on another's journey. I say things like "I am excited for you to get back on your journey of being the best version of yourself" ("The best version of myself" is what he calls his personal journey" but i cannot tell him "your issue is -------" I don't think i have a right to direct someone, but i can leave bread crumbs.
He is also an empath and aware but uninterested in working on those traits and abilities as of yet. It is frustrating, but I decided to just continue on my journey and rejoice when he re-joins me on the path again. My current lesson I am working on is "letting go" of others.
That is amazing, what you said about the vibrations and sound waves!
So, I also have anger issues. My father is a narc, so growing up around that is not only bad for development, but sometimes I find myself showing those kinds of personality traits.
One tactic I use is to top and identify the source. Is this me? Is it someone else? If I don't have a reason to be angry, I assume it is someone else and try to locate the source and work from there: shielding, leaving, disconnecting from that person.
Side note: never just shut off or shut down.
Another tactic I use if the anger is coming from within myself: Ask myself if this is going to be an issue or if this will still make me angry a year from now - or even, a month or week from now. If yes, just deal with it, if no, breathe and continue to another tactic.
If the anger is coming from within myself and this situation will make me angry, still, in the future it needs to be dealt with in an adult manner. Going somewhere to think and calm down is always the best option.
If the anger is coming from within myself but is "irrational" or is not something that will still make me angry long term I use the "wheel" method. I imagine the emotion I am feeling to flow into, within myself, and then out. If that is not enough, I can envision the anger moving in a "wheel" into, through, and out of myself. I will do this for a long as needed when the feeling fades away. It is healthy to accept your emotions.
I find it harder to deal with and work through my emotions when I "reject" or "resist" them. I let them flow through me and accept that these emotions are normal and healthy to feel.
I love hearing about other people's TF experiences.
I am currently in a relationship and living very happily with mine, but he is not on a path to enlightenment as of now. I can feel him becoming more.. frustrated? with his life. He doesn't understand why, but it is because he has become comfortable and has stopped his growth, physically and mentally. We are both very big on physical fitness to balance our mental, emotional, and spiritual growth but he has become almost bored with working out and has less interest in things he used to like to fill spare time with. These things started shortly after he stopped reading his books about emotional and mental development. I feel I can't tell him what the issue is, I can only leave bread crumbs and leave him to it. I suppose he will figure it out when he can.
I am not sure what you mean by "3d" but I have had quite a few experiences with long distance relationships.
Often, I will feel something and not understand these flashes of images or random emotions. Usually, I can pin-point who in my environment is sending out the emotions I can feel, but these ones do not source from anyone in the area. Later, I will find something happened to my mom, relating to those images/emotions at that exact time of day.
I became friends with a girl in another country who had such a strong connection with me, we managed to send each other words though energy.
I also found a soul connection through the internet when I was 14. We became best friends for 10 years - always somehow knowing when to call or message the other when we needed it and always somehow knowing how to balance the other person. Now, we live together.
I have never tried to project my energy to any of these people in a sense of being "3d" in their environment - only sending messages.
As for "spirits" or energy (whatever you choose to call them - I choose not to define these things) I have felt a "3d"? presence many times. As in, knowing where it is standing, how tall, etc.
I hope this was relevant.
My cat regularly goes through cycles with who he is attached to. For the last week he has been mommy's boy, following me, demanding cuddles. In the next week or two this will likely change and he will begin harassing daddy for attention and following him around the house. I don't know if this is the same thing, but it's like human relationships - there are period of times when you really jive with another person and times when you're pretty relaxed with them.
I would suggest a vet visit, from the post about thyroid.