Living in a small town
I live in a very small town that is considered a "vortex area" and I am getting entirely sick of it. It is like living in high school where you see the same few hundred people in the hallways all the time. Luckily I get along with most everyone but boy do I feel some dark energies here and there are a couple of people I have had strained experiences with (mostly dating) that I hate having to run into by now.
This place is very psychic and because everyone is connected to everyone in some way, I really feel things. Besides that, almost everyone is on something to excess in terms of one substance or another and I am getting really tired of that energy.
There is a slow energy or pace here that doesn't energize me to push through challenges and I can't figure out if this place is better for me than a larger area or not. In some ways it is and in other ways, I feel burdened by feeling everyone's stuff here and where they are stuck and all that.
I am currently trying to make new friends here who are possibly healthier and more inspiring. I had to stop hanging out as much with someone with extreme signs of body dysmorphia, plastic surgery, anorexia, and narcissism as it was getting bad for my own self-image considering my past with anorexia.
My dog died last year and it became too painful to go for my walks in the woods, but I remember thinking that if this place didn't have such access to nature, I don't think I could take it. I am about to start looking for another dog.
Ultimately, the town in which I live is very eccentric and I can't decide if it is good for me or bad for me in the long run. I guess it's what I made of it, but it sure is difficult at times to feel all the energy through small town connections - because a lot of it is dysfunctional and there is a high rate of substance abuse and mental illness - and enough suicides happen. Being that I suffer from things myself, I am not sure this is the best place for me.