Could the way we define emotions be the reason?
Good feeling, bad feeling
We are brought up to recognize certain feelings as good and certain feelings as bad. I wonder if it is because of this that certain difficulties arise.
Good feelings are often also safe feelings. Since the mind has not paired an alert response to most good feelings, we do not become triggered when they arise.
Bad feelings are often a sign that there is some sort of unpleasantness in store. When they arise we become triggered.
Below is an article that briefly goes into how triggers work:
So when I feel sadness, I feel the urge to get away from it. Past experiences have taught me that when I feel this emotion it is because something awful has happened. So I become triggered and once we become triggered we experience our trauma again.
It would be similar for anger, pain, and all the other "negative" emotions. My personal memories of them are not good. So my reactions are equally as bad. I go on high alert.
When feel happiness it hardly registers. In those moments I feel safe. There is no need to be on alert.
As people who take on more emotional stimuli than most, could it be beneficial to change how we define emotion?
The fact for me is that these emotions are coming. The overload has this annoying tendency to be hiding right around the corner. Avoiding never works for long. Grounding is great, but what about those difficult moments? What about the times when familiar techniques just don't cut it?
My goal over this last year has been to find coping strategies that work more consistently for me. What I have been finding is that the more accepting I am of all the emotions flooding my way the easier it is to handle. Lately my view of emotions has been changing.
I find myself welcoming in my least favorite emotions. Treating them almost as if they are lost children who need help finding their way home. I am even beginning to see the benefits of even the most painful emotions.
I think that we cannot view emotional states in the same way others do. We have to learn to feel safe with every emotion because that more apart of us. At least IMO.
What do you all think? Has anyone had similar or different theories?