Forum Activity for @crystalsage

emotionally numb empaths

Empath

I forgot to add that looking at a list of emotional states can help as well. Sometimes it is difficult identify what is being felt by name. For example

https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/list-of-emotions

emotionally numb empaths

Empath

I ask myself questions. Especially when dealing with empathy overload.

So if I get angry I list all the reasons I may have gotten angry.

This practice also allows me to establish who the anger belongs to.

Or

I work out a list of my needs. I have found this to be the easiest way to get in touch with myself.

Sometimes this can be difficult to do. When that is the case I use daydreaming, or some form of entertainment to help me.

When we daydream, watch a show we like, or read a book, even play a game, we find satisfaction because a need is being fulfilled.

For example I like to read books about groups of friends. From that I have learned that having a solid and consistent team at work and in my personal is a strong need of mine.

Another example I daydream about being a strong empath. Not because I'm power hungry but because for me that symbolizes freedom. If I am strong enough to control it then, maybe I won't get overloaded.

Having a clear idea of what one needs developes trust not only in self but also the world. When one knows what one needs, one can easily establish boundaries and protect the self. This can translate into a calmer and stronger connection to the self.

Lastly

I have found that raw journaling can help. What I mean by that is to simply write every thought as it comes. Do not worry about grammar, or even what is being written. Put the writing away for a day or so, giving one time to get some distance from the mindset. Then read what was written. This process can show what the emotional state was while writing and help to start reconnecting the self.

Hope you work it out.

Also I'd like to add, that sometimes the mind just needs a break. Numbing can allow that to occur. As long as one is aware and it does not become a long term, it is not always a bad thing.

Depersonalization, schizo, or spiritual?

Empath

It sounds like your fear of becoming schizophrenic is triggering panic attacks.

Anytime something happens that could he related to schizophrenia you may be going in to fight or flight mode. When a person is in that mode their senses become intensified. I believe that includes the sense that allows us to feel energy.

When a person's sense are open that wide it can be overwhelming.

I would try:

a salt bath

Burn some incense (pick a sent you find calming)

Meditation (with the understanding that as one meditates lots of things may come up. This is just the body purging)

Lowering the temperature in the apartment will allow the energy to shift.

Using large crystals can help aid meditation. Feeling a chill is good as it allows energy to move from the body.

Signs

Empath

@warden.

I believe in signs too, but I also believe we manifest what we want.

I've noticed for myself that whenever I have a strong desire for something I am shown a way to that thing. I would view your signs as you bringing what you want into your life. It feels like the universe is just helping you get there like it did the first time. It all sounds exciting.

Good luck to you.

Just for fun 🤷

Empath

Then there was this coach for the boys track team who's name I can't remember right now.

HE WAS BEAUTIFUL...with a face like that he didn't need a name...lol jk.

Then there was Omar who a lot older but he looked like this famous singer. Talk about better than a poster. Omg. If you didn't think about his age, girlfriend, and child, then he was perfect for young high school me.

Then there was this counselor, janitor, or maybe he was a security guard. I was never really sure I just know he was cute with a capital C.😍

Just for fun 🤷

Empath

Phillips lasted all the way to middle school. For a while there was no on worthy of my heart. Then came Greg.

Oh sweet Greg. He was a football player. He had a great smile and a great body. But also I was invisible to my love...lol

We also had the same last name which was a concern. Now I was told the two families where not related. Although being from a small town you never know. We could never truly be, not confidently anyway.

Just for fun 🤷

Empath

But before that there was Thomas from second grade.

He was really tall with big teeth. Now that I think of it he really wasn't all that cute. Can't remember why I liked him.

Just for fun 🤷

Empath

Phillip from the third grade. He was a long haired rebel that boy was.

I used to stare at him all day. Whenever he'd talk to me I'd get super nervous and just giggle. Lol

Fun topic

What's your favorite?

Empath

Just curious. What's your favorite thing about being an empath?

Mine is feeling the positive energy from people. I work in catering and some of the guest at those events are filled with so much excitement that it's almost like a high for me.

Your turn! 😀

Spacial energy?

Empath

Thank you everyone for all the helpful comments.

@hop-daddy definitely going to check out those books.

@womanwhowalks thanks for the advice. I have been learning to do a bit of both reading around to get help and also going with my instincts. It's a journey but it's never boring.

I feel the energy in my body quite a bit. I also noticed today how much of my thoughts are simply interpretations of the energy I am feeling around me.

Spacial energy?

Empath

Anyone know of any good books on energy. So far I haven't found anything I think will help me understand. Where I am at it is hard to find others that are willing to teach me. Ive learned quite a bit on my own.
I get really tired the next day. Actually more like sore like I spent the day before lifting weights.

Spacial energy?

Empath

@hop-daddy. Thank you!

Spacial energy?

Empath

Hey everyone. 

Today was a difficult day. Or at least the first two hours of work where. 

So I temp with different companies. It's what makes working easy for me. A couple of months ago I worked at this place that was difficult. I was there for a week, and in order to survive the week I had to play a sort of game with myself.

I basically wore metaphorical mask every day. Which worked so well they wanted me to keep coming back. However I can only wear a mask so long before it starts to eat me up. So I called my company and told them that I would not work there regularly but I was willing to come back after a break.

Well today was that day. I only lasted two hours.

I've started working with my chakras pushing out old energy and the closing up afterwards. This practice has worked everytime I have tried it so far. When I was struggling with it today I thought maybe it no longer works for me (that's happened before, sometimes what works today only works for a while.) But I kept trying. I was even trying to modify it to see if combining techniques that I knew worked would help. It was the same.

I was starting to have a panicky attack which really threw me off because there was no real reason to. I was working independently for the most part. I was doing a good job. However everytime someone spoke to me, with the exception of a few people I felt sick. My ears felt like they where popping and my stomach began getting big and hard, which should not be happening at this point. I wanted to cry, throw up, and run all at the same time. 

So I went outside and called my boss. I told her I needed a pep talk and then a flood of tears just started coming out. I was shocked. I'm not empathicly overloaded, in fact I have found a great grounding technique that makes me feel like I have hit the reset button. I practice this technique throughout the day, mostly because it feels great. While the day was difficult it was not bad enough to cry the way I did. I mean I cried like I had just suffered a great loss (I put it that way, because it was truly the way I've cried during a loss, but during the exact moment of finding out about the loss.)

After leaving the building the feeling still didn't fully go away. It wasn't until I was completely out of that neighborhood that it was gone. It was like it never even happened. In fact I'm back to being happily grounded. What's funny is that I haven't even done my grounding practice yet. And I honestly don't feel like I need to.

What I am wondering is how others have dealt, when in similar situations? I am also curious if it is possible to shift the energy of an entire neighborhood the way we shift energies in our bodies? Could we help by focusing on clearing the energy of spaces?

I'm experimenting on this idea with my house. 

Chakra work

Empath

Just add, I feel more protected. I'm not so open anymore so I'm not just picking up any and everything I come into contact with.

Chakra work

Empath

Okay so I just wanted to do a check in.

I'm still focusing on clearing and closing. I'm in no rush to move to the next step whatever that is.

I feel great. I've been doing this before I go to sleep on the train on my way to work and I feel the difference. Again sometimes when closing clearing and closing certain chakras things come up. Initially there where a lot of things from the past coming up. Now there are a mixture of things coming up. For example difficulties I experienced throughout the day are expelled.

The most interesting thing that's happened so far happened last night. I noticed that different people with whom I interacted throughout the day where located in different areas of my body. I wonder if that is why it is sometimes difficult to identify and detach from the energies of others? Maybe it was a lack of awareness that they could be located in different areas. Has anyone else had this kind of experience?

I am still paring this work with my fasting. It feels like the two practices seem to work well resetting my energy.

I just feel less tired, less weighed down. It is also getting much easier to tune into specific people at will. Even in a crowd. I've also noticed that I'm bothered less and less by places with lower vibrations. And I am less fearful.

Chakra work

Empath

@hop-daddy

I'm glad you're feeling better.
I have stomach issues too. Fasting helps me a great deal with that.

I have tried acupuncture and I do like it. In fact it was my last treatment that helped me solve a major problem I was having with my left shoulder through to my arm. I can't afford to go often but when I can it is like a treat.

2 steps forward and 1 back is the story of my life. It's a big part of why I work so hard to get a handle on things. It's like on one hand I have someone watching out for me, because if I didn't things would be very different. On the other hand there is something very present that just won't let me be. I have been slowly breaking ties with whatever it is but I have to be very careful to not get to down for too long. When I get down and stay there it's like every step I took towards freedom never happened.

The way I'm see it, it's like this bad luck energy has been with me for many years so it may take just as long for it to be completely gone. I seriously hope that is not the case. However being realistic with myself in that way keeps me from getting discouraged.

It's like the better I'm doing the more the energy around me turns vicious. When I'm not doing so great things are calmish.

One day I would like to have happy daysssss, months even. I would like to be around people who see me, empath and all. And I would just like some overall peace.

I will say all of this has made me stronger and more open minded. I stand up for myself more as well as others. I do my best not to judge while at the same time making sure my boundaries are respected.

One day.

Chakra work

Empath

Been doing more work with my chakras. I've been focusing on clearing and closing.

I've been doing this by focusing on each one and mentally pushing out old energy. Once this is done I focus on closing in order to protect.

One thing I have noticed with my heart and throat chakras is that a lot of pain is coming up. Most of it is old. After I feel more at ease with my pain. It's not that it goes away, it's just not debilitating and get to be more honest.

When I work with my lower chakras lots of anger comes up. Again it just feels honest.

Haven't fully made it to my third eye or crown. Just been touching base with them briefly. When I do I feel calm and clearer.

Clearing the energy of a space.

Empath

Thank you everyone. I'm going to try it all. I've been working hard to make my home a safe happy place and I have been having a lot of progress.
The kitchen is that last issue. If I can get that taken care of my home will be a true home.

@nocturnes-angel I really liked the cinnamon oil idea. I never would have thought of that thank you.
@krosskelt I am definitely going to burn some sage. I just don't have any in the house right now.

@chezarey I like the idea of using citrus cleaners. That would be a wonderful change because they always leave behind a smell. Dragons blood incense, that sounds intriguing.

@hop-daddy I like that phrase, negative intent projection. There is a lot of that going on. The three will do something and then walk past me laughing. I have just been ignoring their intentions and sticking fast to my own. I'm actually getting better at not letting the negativity of others get so deep inside my own. I'm determined to turn the energy in this house around.

Clearing the energy of a space.

Empath

So I have been noticing that I cannot cook in my own house. As I am a chef and can cook anywhere else including in the house of others and it comes out wonderfully, I was concerned. 

Yesterday I began to wonder what it was about my kitchen. The ingredients I use are the same, as well as the recipes. 

I have these roommates who are extremely self centered, they are a family in fact. When they go into the kitchen they leave it complete mess. There's food everywhere, spills on the floor, and the mess will stay for a week if no one says anything. 

When we first tried to confront them, they started yelling calling us liars, just getting real aggressive . (Btw I live in a big house, 6 rooms 5 1/2 bathrooms, 7 people total). Little by little we have gotten the three to clean up after themselves,  but we had to get very creative and a little aggressive. 

The whole point was so that we could all use the kitchen, but I cannot cook in there and it's strange.

So today I went to get a feel for the energy of the kitchen and it was hot, with a really heavy feeling energy. I usually pay more attention to the energy of the people I am around than the space itself. 

So this is what I am trying first. I have a bunch of pieces of black onyx that where easy to place around the kitchen discreetly, and a piece of selenite that I can part with for some time. I placed the selenite under the fridge and made a grid with the onyx. I also sprinkled sea salt all over the floor and counter lightly enough that it cannot be seen. That was all I had on hand today.

I did notice a difference after just a few moments. The air smelled cleaner and the energy began to lighten. 

Anybody have any other ideas about what I can do to scrub the energy in that room?

Angry Empath?

Empath

@hop-daddy
I have had to get comfortable setting those boundaries with my mom. She the type that will bleed you dry if you're not paying attention. In order to be healthy I have to put her in a different category from mother.

@tigerlily.
It could always be several different things. Life is full of shades of grey. My mother can be really caring. The way I can tell the difference is when my mom is nice to me during a time of need, she expects me to praise as my savior before I'm even able to completely get through.

For me it is the people who are around during my time of need simply because they are always around. I am cautious with those who seem to always show up when I'm down, but never seem interested in my life when I'm doing well.

Angry Empath?

Empath

Also when I do talk to her I have a strong list of boundaries set in my mind.
Whenever she crosses a boundary I give her a polite but firm warning that I will only give her one more chance and then I'm hanging up the phone.
It almost never works in the sense that she is not willing to show me this kind of respect. She says she's my mother and the bible says that means she can treat me however she likes, when she's being nice I should count myself as lucky. When she say that I tell her I love and respect her but I am now getting off the phone.

I guess I can't full say it doesn't work, she hasn't called to say something mean or hurtful for a while now, of course this also means she no longer calls.

Fir myself I am learning that sometimes that is the result when asking for respect. Some do not realize how you have felt. Some will blame you for standing up for yourself and stop talking to you and that is okay.
The bottom line is self care. What does it take for me to live a happy life?

Angry Empath?

Empath

@hop-daddy and @chezarey.

My mother is the narc in my life and I have a few close relatives who have strong narc tendencies.

I still have not gotten to the point where I can talk to my mom. I try but the backlash is so severe it's never worth.

As a child anytime I was doing well she would work had to mess things up. That energy is still in her and strongly directed at me.

She's 2,000 miles away, i talk to her on the phone, the next few days are horrible. It's also the reason I haven't moved back home yet. I want to be strong enough to stand her energy.

I was afraid of becoming her for a long time. One day I just decided to embrace it, only because for me the faster I run from something the quicker I get there. After doing that I realized that there will always be some part of her in me, I did grow up with her. However that does not mean my intention toward life and others has to be the same.

I am not her, how I respond to life is proof enough of this. Now if I could just keep her energy from drowning me without being halfway across the country, that'll be interesting.

updated by @crystalsage: 07/24/18 01:09:25PM

Angry Empath?

Empath

@tigerlily
I've been in the same boat with the anger. Sometimes a sudden surge will hit me and I have to step aside for the moment.

I agree with everyone about the need for grounding. I have found it to be very helpful. I also agree about there being many effective methods. I find that whatever connects me more deeply to myself helps me. I like fasting, salt baths, Crystal's, and meditation. I'm also starting to look into chakra work. Still very new but looking like it'll be another good tool for grounding.

IMO you just have to find what works with who you are as a whole.
I like to use tools like visualizations as a way of gather together a list of my needs. Once I have a clearer understanding of what I need I get a clearer understanding of myself and my energy. Then my anger, while still present, is not so overbearing to the rest of my personality. Instead is feels reasonable and I can react more calmly. Whether that means walking away or speaking up.

I do this by visualizing a happy space and list the reasons I have created this type of space. More often than not that list can translate easily into needs, both fulfilled and not.
Narcs don't worry about becoming narcs. Nor do they worry how their anger is affecting others.

Chakra work

Empath

Okay, so my three days didn't go the way I wanted. For whatever reason I really struggled this time. However I realized yesterday that some good did come.
I did get to do some study along with some self analysis.
@hop-daddy, loved the sites you suggested. Very informative. I really like the second one for the different positions depending on the chakra being worked on.

I also particularly liked this site:
https://blog.mindvalley.com/7-chakras/

It gives a broader definition as to the location of chakras and another set of creative ways to work with chakras.

So far I've gotten a decent feel for what's going on with my chakras. I did a simple meditation in which I focused on getting in touch with the feel of my chakras. I tried to both open and close them. When trying to open I felt no real change but when I tried to close them I felt a sense of calm flow through me. I take that to mean that what I should focus on at the moment is closing to a healthy point.

Getting in touch wasn't too bad. The article I shared uses meditation along with focus on the location in the body in order to connect.
To help me close them I imagine that i can feel them getting smaller.

I'm no where near done but this is where I'm at so far.

Chakra work

Empath

Wow. Thank you everyone there is some great info hear.

@hop-daddy, thank you for the links. I haven't looked at then just yet but I'm excited.
I'm taking the next three days off to do some work on my energy. During this time I'll fasting from the world lol. No TV, no phone, no people, no talking. Just going to spend time meditating, studying, doing a lot of chakra work, and basically just cleansing my energy. After I'll definitely post what comes of it.

@Hermes thank you for the info. I've actually been paying a lot of attention to my solar plexus over the last couple of day.
Yesterday in particular I noticed that there seemed to be a connection with how strongly I was picking up on others' energies and the tension near the bottom of my rib cage. When I made a conscious effort to relax the area it was like letting the energy go. I found myself in several difficult situations yesterday, ones that would be typically draining. Long story short there's been an issue at work. Some of the people at work have strong energies and are very upset on top of it. I felt a stronger ability to put those energies down at will.

I'm so excited for the next three days. Curious to see what comes out of it. Ttys.

Chakra work

Empath

@hop-daddy
I have many goals in mind.

1. Being healthy overall mind, body, and soul
2. I want a deeper connection with myself and more awareness/control over my empathetic abilities.
3. I want to be more balanced within. I've being exploring the idea of as within so without. I want to see what changes in my outward life as I continue to work more on myself. So far I have seen a lot of positive.
4. It's also apart of my spiritual journey. I do not have a set faith. I tend to study all religions and beliefs. I want to be as open as I can be while still being connected with who I am. This just feels like the next step.
5. I want consistency. There have been times where I have had very profound waking dreams, been able to predict what cards to pick(and gotten it right for months), times where meditation feel like a regular part of any day rather than a chore. However I'm havent always been consistent. Partly because I was still trying figure it all out. Now I am in a state of acceptance and this is what I want to do. It honestly just feels like who I am.

Thank you for asking that question. I hadn't really thought about it until you did. Also I have been doing research. That's probably why I was thinking of focusing on one chakra at a time. It can get a bit overwhelming trying remember everything about all of them at once.

@cheshire-cat
Thank you for your insight. After looking over the chart @krosskelt posted and thinking of issue that lots of empaths described having, it seems reasonable that the solar plexus plays an important role. I also like the idea of closing up after cleaning and balancing. Definitely something I'll look into. I've heard of Qi Gong. I haven't looked into. That's something I can add to my research list.

Chakra work

Empath

@krosskelt. I like that chart. I have similar ones in my crystal books. But not as detailed.

Actually after looking at your chart I realize I've been mixing up the sacral and solar plexus chakras. My solar plexus is actually the one I am concerned about.

I have recently got into fasting which has been great it has opened my eyes a lot. I am a lot more aware about how I am affected by food and also those around me.
I'm still in the process of figuring out what I can eat without undoing all the work of the fast. So far i have let go of meat with the exception of fish. I can eat fish without mood changes and without empathy overload.

This greater connection with self is inspiring me to give chakra work a try because I believe it can add to the progress I am making.

Thanks again for the chart it is really helpful to have.

Chakra work

Empath

@curious-child. I have been building up my collection of crystals. I have at least one for each chakra.

@krosskelt. I want to work one each chakra individually and see if I can build a strong connection with each. I'm going to start with my root.
@chuck. For some reason I can only see you response in my email. Anyway. The reiki sounds interesting. I've heard of it but never actually tried it. I'll add that to my list to study.

Yeah, like I said I want to work with them one by one. Not sure it that's the right way but I'll find out soon enough.

Thanks for the responses. Feel free to add more. I'll share what I learn along the way.

Chakra work

Empath

Hey everyone

I'm about to start doing some work on my chakras one by one. I'd be  interested in any advice anyone is willing to offer.

updated by @crystalsage: 07/30/18 02:33:57PM

Dream about telekinesis

Dreams

@hermes Very interesting. Thank you.

Herbs knowledge anybody?

Empath

I mean herbs in general. Cooking and oils are great. I've recently started working with them.
I'm finding them to be a good match for my life so I've been study growing, herbal remedies, and even what they can be used for.

Right now I've been making a lot of different kinds of teas and broth. It's been a great edition to my tools for dealing.

Herbs knowledge anybody?

Empath

Hey everyone, I'm really getting into using herbs for all sorts of things.

I've been doing my own research but I was wondering is anyone particularly knowledgeable on the subject?

Shortcut To Calm

Empath

@hop-daddy
I have also used CBS in the past. It does work.

Though it can affect people differently, like anything.

I am curious if you have ever thought about trying a fast before you have to fly? I'm not sure if that is something that would be possible for you.

I have also found that some foods do make dealing difficult. I actually didn't fully realize this until I started eating after a fast and I felt my energy shifting.

I truly think it has to do with the sacral chakra having the job of processing emotions and it is close to our stomach. Then there is the fight or flight response which largely affects the digestive system.

Any way it's just a thought.

I think it's great that they are able to sell the gummy bears in all 50 states. There are truly many benefits to cbd, if only we could get past the taboo. Some people don't even realize that cbd does not get you high. That would be thc, and cbd counters the psychotropic effect of thc. One day maybe.

Dream about telekinesis

Dreams

Here's the dream...

So I was a young boy, which I have never been. I was living with a family who was hiding me. I was being hid because I was from Jupiter I think.

We where found out and they tried to run. The original couple that was hiding me was captured, maybe killed.

I was in the car with a different couple and lots of police cars where lined up on the streets. We couldn't get out when suddenly I used my hands to make a pulling gesture. Then trees came out of the ground and slammed into the police cars and made a way.

There where also these messages that kept appearing to me in a language I've never seen. I used a similar gesture to make them disappear in order to protect myself.

We got away and I woke up.

Any thoughts?

Tools I have found helpful

Tools for Empaths

In the past I have tended to be viewed as an extremely emotionally unstable person. People have shied away from me and the energy of my life was just difficult. 

Fortunately for me I am a determined,  open minded, fast learner. Once I decide I want change I work hard for it. I accept that there will be difficulties and am not afraid to be broken down by those difficulties because I trust myself to get through it.  

With that being said here is what I have learned. 

It is an understatement to say that we are all different. I have found for myself that most of the conventional methods for dealing with empathy do not work very long for me. These things do.

The first and newest tool for me is fasting . I began this a little over a month ago and once I did my first full day, I noticed an immediate change. I also learned even more just how food affects me.

I noticed that I could feel people more deeply and that the energies left me as soon as I was no longer in their presence. I am an experimenter of sorts so I tried different methods and analyzed their effectiveness. 

The most effective approach I found was what some would call a super fast. 

 I consume absolutely nothing. Not even water. After the first 12 hours I noticed my body begin to chill and my heart beat slow. During sleep, which was hard to accomplish, I felt my mind completely empty itself. It felt as though the energy was being pulled out of me. When I awoke I felt amazing. The heaviness of the world was present but not inside of me. Later that coolness that felt seemed as though it was energizing my body. I still had plenty of energy in fact I felt I had more. Large crowds where a bit overwhelming the first time but not so much that I had to remove myself. 

The second method that has greatly improved my quality of life includes an herb heavy diet. For myself I have found mint to be very useful. It is the most effective when I consume herbs first after a fast. I either eat or drink them in a tea or broth. I have learned what I believe to be the true meaning about our living in a digital world. Using herbs as an example, a lot of what today's medicine attempts to do herbs can naturally do, without the side effects. For me medicine is the digital mimicry of the analogous herb. 

Following with the digital v.s analog idea I view a lot of food items in the same way. In doing so I have changed how often I eat. With chakras the emotions are processed in the sacral chakra which is by the stomach. Being that empathy deals with emotions and most empaths I talk to have issues with their stomach I believe that is why fasting has had such a great effect for me. I have taken it a step further and most days I only eat once. I know this sounds extreme however I have also found it to work greatly for me. The reason I chose this way of consuming foods is because of how I feel when I do this. I feel good and at peace with myself.  I wait 12 hours between meals and I will consume food for up to a 4 hour period. 

Another change I have made is how I speak. I try to only speak in terms of I, unless I am directly addressing someone. When I do this I feel the energy of people change both within themselves and towards me. It is also my way of fully acknowledging that we are all different. Things that I may find helpful may not be helpful to another. Words are also very crude symbolic representations of things they could never truly explain. Even all the things I have written thus far could be interpreted by another in terms completely contrary to what I mean to express.

I have found that changing my view of myself, particularly with relationship to the world we live in has also relieved a great deal of stress. I am different, I view the world differently, even from those who are like minded. Sometimes those differences are very small, but I have found it useful to give respect to even the smallest part of myself. In doing this I have felt life open up for me. Even the way I interact with the world has changed for the greater. I do not expect myself to fit into any category nor do I expect to be understood. 

I also listen to myself fully and trust myself, even if my thinking seems crazy. As I have said earlier I believe words to be crude symbols of what is. Even my own interpretation of what I am feeling is a crude representation of what my intuition is trying to show me. So rather than try to fully understand I simply trust myself. The more I do this, the greater my understanding has become and the better my days are, even the bad ones. Even when they I bad, I knew, without knowing, what I was getting into, so I am able to handle it.

I have let go of the concept of morality. I have often read or heard stories told of an event by several people involved in said situation. What I have noticed is several interpretations all of which defining their moral rightness in the situation. When I hear with an open mind I can understand where all are coming from and I can also see how we got so disconnected and judgemental of one another. I interpret what it means to be moral different from the next person, and because of this I find it impossible to live harmoniously with others using moral guidelines. Instead I do not worry about right and wrong, I give attention to what is and if it is possible to change, or if change is even needed.

Lastly I have changed I view my existence. I do not take in the world as others do. Most of what I feel does not even belong to me. Once I accepted that as my reality, dealing with others has become easy. For example when I engage in a conversation and feel nervous or angry, or whatever I feel, it is more often than not the other person feeling nervous, or angry, or whatever. I do not just see the world with my eyes nor do I simply feel myself, I feel the world. 

Can you help me to understand my failed relationship

Empath

@womanwhowalks
The person who started this thread has respectfully asked us to end this.

With that being said, if you want to send me AXA private messages I am more than willing to respond. But not here. We can even start our own thread if that is better for you. I'll leave it up to you.

@manwhoislost. I wish you the best. I meant what I said earlier, after reading some of your post, particularly the one about the plants, I think whatever you are is truly amazing.

Can you help me to understand my failed relationship

Empath

@womanwhowalks
Actually based on the description of some of his experiences I would say @manwhoislost is on the same level.

I can recall a few of your post that similar to his original question.

It is not for you to say who is right for this group or any other.

There is a difference between being direct and just down right sarcastic.

There is no right way to approach empathy or any other topic for that matter.

Someone having a different point of view is no reason to attack. In fact becoming aggressive after a different point of view is expressed is a sign of limited understanding.

It is okay to be strong in ones believing. It is also okay to doubt, it is only human.

It is okay to have a firm sense of direction just as much as it is to be lost.

It is the foolish and insecure person who cannot be honest about uncertainty. Particularly when we we live in a world that is uncertain.

To be able to admit being lost, is to state that one us truly ready to seek a greater truth for self. There nothing wrong with that.

There are plenty of people on this site that have vastly different views and that is the best part of this place.

Can you help me to understand my failed relationship

Empath

@hermes
You angry and forceful. I would think a so called "empath in the truest form" would understand that there is no right answer.

Everything is simply an opinion.

Maybe it is not your place to go around pushing buttons.

If everyone's journey is their own, how can you judge who is advanced and who is not?

Mr Hermes.

Can you help me to understand my failed relationship

Empath


I grew up with a similar lack of love. On some levels I agree with both of you on others I disagree with both of you. I believe that behavior for the most part is learned through experience and our interpretation of the experience. Yes there are experiences that can make expressing emotions difficult.

But I we believe we can teach ourselves to love in ways we where never truly exposed to as children. I feel as though I have done that for myself. Relationships are still hard but they get easier as time goes on. In a lot of ways I think I am lucky to have grown up in a bad situation. I came into adulthood with no preconceived notion of what it meant to be happy, loved, and for life to be good. I got to paint my own picture. Now I look at myself compared to others and I feel like I love myself so much more wholly than others do. I wouldn't trade this love for anything. And while I truly would love to share this love with someone not at the cost of taking love from myself.

Long story short I do not believe it matters how others love you. I believe we can grow within ourselves the kind of love we want. We just have to be willing trust ourselves.

Can you help me to understand my failed relationship

Empath

You are a truly magnificent being.

While I understand the desire to want to be "normal," I have never found greater peace than in acceptance of my differences.

The path you chose, is exactly that, your choice.

But I honestly think the answers you came looking for all within you.

As you said you are a highly sensitive person so it makes sense that you pick up on others. While you do not identify as an empath you seem to possess many of the traits but at the same time so much more!

I think it is amazing, and am grateful to you for sharing.

From my own experience I would say that was your friend. And I agree with how you feel about narcissism. After all nothing in this world is truly black or white. It simply is.

Biggest peice of advice I would give...Trust yourself. Trust what experience and feel.

Can you help me to understand my failed relationship

Empath

I have been in a similar situation.

First I am curious if you identify as an empath?

The reason I ask that is because it sounds like you where picking up a lot of her energy.

I've learned to be careful who I associate with. I have a strong tendency to pick others energy and if I don't recognize it as another's than it gets internalized. Once I internalize that energy it changes how I react to things, it also clouds my so I cannot think. Instead I become disconnected from myself.

One way I get a clear view is by asking myself the reasons I am feeling a certain way. If I find that there is no logical path to what I am feeling, then it is the internalized energy I have picked up.

Some ways I have found to keep from internalizing other are as follows.

I build boundaries with people in my life. It keeps me grounded and gives me time and space to deal.

I use crystals and salt baths to cleanse my energy.

I also make sure I get good sleep.

A new addition to my personal health has been fasting. I am finding it to be the ultimate cleanse.It is still very new but I do recommend looking into it to see if it is for you.

I would also look into cord cutting. It has honestly never worked for me, but I know it works for many others.

It's good that you talk to therapist and have found ones you can trust.

It does sound like you had good reason to cut ties. She seems like she had deep issues that she needs to deal with. That does not mean you need to be the one who has to help her. Also that fact that you even ask the question says you are not a narcissist. Narcissism is not with whether it is right or wrong.

Good luck to you.

Fasting

Empath

Being at the same place as yesterday has been a great tester. I am starting to realize where some of my struggles come from. People who I would normally allow myself to associate with and the ones I chose to stay away from almost completely changed while I was fasting. At this job being that I don't know anyone, had I not come to the experience completely empty I would have made a mistake I often make. I would have befriended the wrong people and stayed away from the good ones. While today I am not as in tune as I was yesterday I am borrowing from the insight I gained yesterday and it is totally working.

When normally I would have been confused about a certain occurrence I am not because of yesterday.

To describe what I felt is difficult. But there was a heavy heat to it sort of. Some of it was just instinct. I knew not to go near them or even look at them unless I could find no way around it and i spent the day finding ways around it. Energies that would normally attach themselves I could feel trying and I just ignored them.

Noe I mentioned hurting. Dont get me wrong it was actually easier than I thought however when I was around a lot of people I felt woozy. I had to sit with my eyes closed and then life was good. Sleep was what made me stop after 42 hours. Finding sleep was the hardest thing and I didn't sleep long. However when I did I woke feeling the best I have ever felt.

In fact today I woke up miserably which is what is inspiring me to try again. As difficult as it was I want it back.

Fasting

Empath

Omg. I have to be quick because I am working.

Ok so I am slowly extending my time fasting to more days. This time I was able to successfully fast for 42 hours. While that was not a very long time with respect to others. I must say the experience was amazing. I felt the energy of other with more awareness than I have ever experienced in my life. I do a lot of temp work, makes life as an empath easier. I am at the same place today that I was yesterday. Now that I have eaten the experience is totally different. I am not as in tune. And while being so in hurt quite a bit. I miss knowing exactly whose energies I could interact with and the ones I needed to stay away from. I'm going again. All empaths should do this there is absolutely nothing like it. It does hurt so be prepared. Silent sitting helps and sleep is hard but strangely good. I'll share more later.

Fasting

Empath

@hop-daddy
That's interesting. I haven't gotten past 24 hours yet. The irony is that I am a chef and it is kinda hard. However I am very interested in the bit about the endorphins. The motivation for the fast was between having issues with digestion and mood regulation.

I've just been doing a lot of searching for different ways to feel good and live healthy. I have been exploring methods that are both inside and outside of the box.

The fasting was a whim, but it is truly working. I also find that I am getting the most out of it when I do a cleanse first. After I wake up I look fully refreshed. I am working my way up to two days. I didn't want to feel like I was punishing myself so I started slow.

Energy also feels different after a few hours. Crystals the were pretty intense to me before feel like nothing.

Fasting

Empath

So, I tried a type of fast yesterday. I won't go into the specifics of what I did exactly. It was a work of my own creation, more of an experiment of you will.

Why I was at work I noticed a great change.  Things that would normally be overwhelming just weren't. They where annoying. I maybe even got angry but it wasn't all consuming. I felt connected but not drowned by the world. I was even in the city which I hate. However it was like being there completely went over my head.

Has anyone else ever had this experience during a fast?

Cuz I gotta say it felt good! Like addiction worthy good.

Feeling own heartbeating.

Empath

Is there someone around you who is particularly stressed out? One of my bosses just about causes an earthquake in my body when ever he shows up. He is very tight wound, angry, insecure, and a whole list of heavy emotions. I know he's there long before I see him. It always takes me a bit to adjust to his presence.

Feeling own heartbeating.

Empath

I just realized that you already went to the doctor. That's what happens when you read with tired eyes.

Feeling own heartbeating.

Empath

@curious-child I'm not really sure how to explain.
Instead of trying to make the feeling go away, I embrace it. I bring my focus to what I am feeling and I sit with it. I allow the feeling the freedom to exist. But I also accept that it is coming from outside.
When I internalize a feeling it is out of fear. For example I feel sad and fear something is wrong and then I get lost trying to figure out what it is. In turn I end up holding on to the energy rather than letting it pass. I think that is why we get so tired. It has to take a lot of effort to hold on to anything especially when it is not ours.

I have found this helps even when I am overloaded. When I try to make it go away I struggle more.

The best example I can use is a current situation. I am working with this man who is struggling getting along at a new job, but I am also new to the job. Lately he has been taking his frustrations out on me. The result is that when I leave for the day I feel like the worst person in the world. I realized yesterday it was his energy I was dealing with but not at first. At first because I was trying to fight with the feeling I ended up internalizing everything, that's why I thought I did something wrong. It's funny now because as I write I realize just how much I internalized. Anyhow rather than trying to find reason with the feelings I just sat there and felt it. I acknowledged that it was not my energy. Instead of treating it like it was mine and there because of something I had done. Slowly I felt it go away.

After talking to him today he described everything I was feeling yesterday, especially the fears.

I have felt the heartbeat thing too but not for long periods of time. I agree with @hop-daddy. Definitely go to the doctor just be sure.

Sometimes when I sit with the feeling it does hurt. In my experience, I have found that pain to be fear more than anything. I think fear is reasonable. I simply tell myself I am afraid and it is okay to be afraid and it helps. But sometimes my fear does win and I think that is also okay. I think it is important to be honest about my limits.

Feeling own heartbeating.

Empath

Have you ever tried sitting with the feeling and connecting with it? Sometimes doing this helps me get a read on where it is coming from.

Feeling own heartbeating.

Empath

How long has this been happening?