Forum Activity for @crystalsage

I need help or something/anything

Empath

My mentor would tell you that to feel lost is a good thing although it may not feel good. It means you have detached from all the expectations of what others or even you may think you need to be and are now ready to connect with your true self.

I need help or something/anything

Empath

Ok now as I said I am no stranger to hopelessness. I recently went through a phase of feeling lost and not knowing who I was anymore.

I have also experienced the feeling of life messing around with me. Getting what seemed like blessings only to have them come to a painful end.

One of my mentors is not an empath, in fact I'm not sure how she feels about the matter. However she is still a very wise and insightful woman nonetheless.

Her advice was to first figure out exactly what I needed in life to give myself some peace. Spend less time doing and more time reflecting.

Sometimes we jump into doing and it works out for a while but because we may be detached from what we need the longevity never follows.

In order to find out what I need she told me to daydream about what I wanted, but not take the dreams seriously as if it was what needed to be done. Instead I was to ask myself what needs are being fulfilled by this dream.

For example I often dream about being found by my lover but also by friends that feel more like family. When I think of why this dream feels good I realize that it is because in the dream I have a team of people who trust and accept me as I am. I have people who respect who I am. Once I saw that I realized at least a few things that I needed in my life. More than love I need people who I can trust to be there for me no matter who I am, no matter how I change. I need people who are willing to work with me that offer/accept guidance. I need to feel a sense of equality. This knowledge has changed how I approach people and situations. I understand now that when I get upset with certain people, particularly ones I'm close with, it is because I am looking for them to fulfill a need they cannot. So now I look for people and even work situations that can fit who I am.

Our needs often define us. When we know what we need our paths become a lot clearer. For me life has become so much easier.

I took that advice a step further and began to analyze what I like to watch, the books I like to read, and past situations that I felt should have worked out.

In doing so my list of need grew until a full image of myself became clear before my eyes.

I even asked myself what need is being fulfilled by my desire to develop my empathetic nature. For me it is my strength. It gives me a place in the world but also gives me the ability to handle what life may bring, the good or bad. The most important thing I get is freedom.

I never fit into this world until I accepted my empathetic nature. Now, while there is still work to be done, I no longer feel hopeless. Instead the life I want feels realistic.

Hope you find something that helps.

Just know you are not alone.

I need help or something/anything

Empath

Ok so first I can understand that feeling of hopelessness. I have been there, I'm sure we all have at one point.

This is a book I read that was really powerful in helping connect and shape my empathetic nature. Maybe it could help you too.

On a personal note the author is unorthodox and it took me a while to really understand what he was trying to say. I had to read it like three times.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://mysilentecho.com/dreamtongue1.htm&ved=2ahUKEwi828iHxtHaAhUps1QKHXSfBkAQFjACegQICBAB&usg=AOvVaw01McMK4wYYBFDQvmpCgtMi

Thing about this year

Empath

I'm glad you worked it out.

Thing about this year

Empath

I feel that presence everywhere unless I am at home. For me it was a sign of being more in tune with my empathetic nature.

The best way I have learned to deal is through accepting and acknowledging. I accept that empathy is one of my senses like touch or smell. It in s the way I take in the world. Some see it, I feel. I acknowledge that the energy does not belong to me and only wants to pass through. It is the gift and burden of who I am. It hurt to do this at first. However as time went on it got easier and easier. It's like learning to walk and run 3 miles. It is hard at first then it just becomes normal. I have more to say but I'm at work. Ttyl

Shielding yourself

Empath

Since we are talking about Crystal's. I had a strange/ good? Thing happen. I went to the crystal shop yesterday with a friend. Normally something calls to me. A new energy that I need to add. This time it was like all the crystals were telling no. As if to say I am finished for now with this part of my journey, it's time for the next step. I've been having a similar experience with my personal crystals. I usually won't leave the house without my necklace or ring. The necklace is a combo of black kyanite and tigers eye. The ring is amethyst. I always feel like I need them for different reasons to face the day. When I realized I didn't have them I got this feeling l I'llke I would be okay.

It's funny but i actually am okay. Just give an example i am currently sitting next to a very aggressive and mean person. One whom I typically avoid because she is always trying to cause trouble for me, but I am okay. I have been shielding less and grounding more. Her energy can touch me without me feeling fear and internalizing her dissatisfaction with life.

Perhaps the crystal safe is no more. I love how life is ever changing. I am forever grateful for the healing energy that crystals have given me.

I wish the same peace for all.

Understanding Empaths and complex relationships

Empath

I've done the whole doctor thing. It actually worked for me. I had to take the time to find a doctor I was comfortable with. Although she does not talk about empathy and I actually doubt that she understands it she has been amazing.

My work with her often reminds me of many Tao sayings. The name that can be called is not the true name or the truth that can be understood is not the true truth...or something like that.

From her I have realized that just because she does not view the world the same way I do does not make her any less apart of the world.

I have come to realize that every question I ask is answered. I only have to pay attention and be present in the world around me.

Often times when I talk to my doctor she'll bring up things that have been on my mind, and almost fill in the blanks. She's not the only one. Sometimes I'll see a billboard, or a coworker will make a comment, or I'll overhear a conversation in passing that is directly related to what I need at the moment.

The two, the way, God, the gods, the universe however you want to call is everywhere and in everything and everyone. It does not matter the path we only that take it and trust and have faith.

It's when we try to control things that we lose way and our faith.

Understanding Empaths and complex relationships

Empath

@tigerlily I have had the same experience with people thinking I'm judgemental or crazy. However i have found that in time they start to see what I saw. When i stand my ground on the issue i get more trust and respect in the end.

And yes the grounding never ends for me either lol.

Shielding yourself

Empath

@krosskelt I am learning this about the nature of Crystals. I just lost one of my raw emerald earrings. I just thanked it for the time and loving energy it gave me. And am trying to look at it as a good omen for things to come.

I am getting better at dealing with sf. Just worked there last night. Reminded myself before I went that the energy was not mine and to not react or internalize. I have also switched the crystals I carry. I have started working more with rose quartz. A beautiful thing happened when I got to work. I only had one piece of rose quartz and was wishing for more. I can't afford to buy any right now. When I got there a coworker had bought me two lovely pieces. He didn't even know I would be there but he was carrying them just in case. When we first met he was having a rough day and was saying he wish he had brought some with him. As I had other crystals, as I usually do, I let him use my rose quartz for the day. The two pieces he bought me were a thank you. It was a hard but really good day.

Understanding Empaths and complex relationships

Empath

For myself I have learned through my failures that I am not interested in a relationship. Whenever I say this to people they immediately go to the "what's wrong" route. For a while I did think something was wrong.

Fact is, there is nothing wrong with me.

Every relationship I have had in the past has always been about trying help someone heal. Once I realized this it became clear that the I was the reason these relationships failed.

I had no real romantic interest in the people I have dated. I was just confused on the roles I wanted to play in their lives.

The people I would always connect with were only used to people who had romantic interest in them showing any real desire to be around them. Which is what drew them to me.

I come from a background where the idea of what love is and means was severely distorted. Any show of affection toward anyone outside of family was seen as having a sexual nature. Before I was taught what loving actually was, I thought this perception to be true. So that is what drew me to these people.

Thinking this way facilitated my isolation from the world. These relationships that I didn't know, where not what I wanted made me feel like I had bad luck with people.
It was also keeping me from figuring out what I truly wanted from life and the people in it.

Situations in my life like bad interpersonal skills forced me to begin working on the boundaries I set with people. Setting those boundaries had the strangest effect on my life and the way I perceive myself.

In order to successfully set boundaries one has to know exactly what it is they wish to achieve. So in order to figure out what my boundaries where I had to figure out who I was. What could i realistically handle? What did I want to put up with and how much of it?

This lead to other questions like what kind of people did i want to be around? What kind of environment did i want to work in? How much of myself did i actually want to give to the world versus what i thought i should give? And how do i communicate this to others successfully? How would i respond when they did not meet my needs?

There were many other questions that came up especially concerning romantic matters.

When it was all said and done i realized i didn't want a romantic relationship. Some people do and therefore date until they find their match. I never really dated to find a match only to have fun. At time due to concerns I would end up in relationships. Ones that never worked because as I said it was for the wrong reasons.

I had to be brave for myself and learn to say no and walk away.

I now realize that when I was dating I was really looking for lasting friendships not intimate relationships. However because of the earlier stated view on affection, I did not know that was what I wanted.

I still have and will probably always have some soul searching to do. However in the mean time I am much happier. Connecting with people is much easier and more pleasant. While I notice those who need healing I am much less inclined to feel as though it is my responsibility. I do try and help if I can but I do not sacrifice myself anymore.

Life is strange and that's how I got here.

Soul infusion

Empath

@spiritualskies ok thank you for clarifying. I'm the same way, I'm a big thinker.

While I have not heard of it being called soul infusion I have heard of something similar as far as how empaths and people in general recieve information. There was no name for it. There is a book I read that was a 101 guide to empathy. In this book it talks about how everything thing is an empathetic message. What we see, feel, smell, touch, all these things are filled with empathic information. So basically our senses and our interpretation of what is being sense are all empathetic.

For me once I tried thinking in this way. Once I began to view every experience as an interpretation of messages being recieved from the outside world, it changed being an empath for me.

The inner empath, the soul, dreams, and other things that are not easily understood do not speak using language. Language is but another crude way of interpreting these thing. However because language is so crude we can never quite explain what it is we are sensing.

The questions of the universe would be better understood in a painting or vague poem or proverb. Something is capable of changing and not concrete.

If I am remembering correctly, it is the right brain that is capable of processing pictures than the left side.

Because of that the idea is that if we can tune more wholly into the vague quiet voice of the universe and let go of words which at times can leave more questions than they answer, we become more in tune with the universe.

Meeting people, smelling, seeing and so on are just ways of the universe communicating with us. Everymoment that happens is symbolic of the voice of the universe.

At least that is how I am understanding it. So it would seem that by learning to open up to those messages,well I dont actually know what happens when we do that. I just know that sense I've started viewing every occurrence in that way being an empath is less and less painful and life is more calm.

For example I am actually in the hospital writing this message. Something fell on my head so the people who like to poke have to make sure I dont have a concussion. Usually I cannot stand to be in a hospital. It makes whatever I'm going that much worse. But its, not bothering me. Everytime I do get a little worked up there is a voice in the back of my head that just says you can get through this. And it'll be fine. It is so calm that I can't argue with it. All the usual worries come up but I feel like more of an observer than anything.

Life is strange and that's how I got here.

Soul infusion

Empath

I looked up soul infusion to see 8f I could find a better understanding of what you are asking. Unfortunately there is also a restaurant with that name that seems to be dominating the web.

However from what I could gather it seems to be a way of reaching the higher self by engaging the right brain and opening up senses we have forgotten how to use.

Is this what you are talking about? If not could you please explain? It sounds like a really interesting topic and I would like to know more if you have time.

There was a movement with some metaphysicist that used the phrase "keep right" to get the message out. It was all about being balanced and using both sides of the brain but especially getting in touch with the right as it is believed to contain greater knowledge and using it would inspire greater being. I am going to keep looking into the topic.

Shutting out the world around us?

Empath

When I was a child I often got called a space cadet. It was because I would often zone out and be almost completely unreachable. People would have to scream my name several times before I would respond. 

As I got older I was harshly judged for this habit. So much so that I would either be referred to as mentally retarded or rude. No one could ever quite figure out which one it was. Some thought I was doing it on purpose, I wasn't. Those where the ones who called me rude. Others thought I could help it, the thought I was mentally retarded. While, yes there where times when I did it unconsciously, I am definitely not mentally retarded.

The truth was it was just who I was. It was like I lived in two worlds. The one in my mind which, while people thought I was daydreaming, was vague and often blank. I honestly don't know how else to describe it. And then there is this world that we all live in, and truthfully I found, and still find this one to be very boring.

The funniest thing about the whole situation is that i appeared to be happy to everyone. And for I time I truly was. I was before people started bothering trying to force me out of my head.

So I have been doing an experiment lately. You see I have been wondering if that is my true home, or place of existence. Maybe our minds are all of our true homes and this world is where we meet one another. I have often wondered about descartes I think therefore I am. Maybe he meant I think and that is actually who I am and also where. The world we see with our sense is symbolic a mere figment of the collective consciousness. Like the allegory of the cave the reality we see is but a shadow of what is truth.

So I have gone back to being a space cadet only with actual intention this time. And must say while I still do not know what happens in that space, the feeling I have when I come back is that of being cleansed and whole. It's like I went home to safety with family and came back strong and fully prepared for the world.

Has anyone else ever had this experience?

Does the empath have a purpose?

Empath

I would just like to thank everyone who participated in this discussion. It has been great hearing all the different opinions. I love that, even though we share this great gift,there is so much diversity among us.

I also love that we can freely share our opinions with one another so openly.

I thought it would be fun to post this question just to see what we feel our empathic nature is for, and can do.

Once again thank you.

My daughter is struggling

Empath

http://mysilentecho.com/dreamtongue1.htm

This is an online guide to getting a handle on your empathic nature. I will say the book is very different from most. It pushed me to really think outside the box and change how I understand my empathetic nature. Every experience for empaths is an empathetic one. We do not experience the world in the same way. It's not just like we have a sixth sense, it more like the way our senses operate are different. Once I started to understand what he was trying to teach us in this book a whole new world, a whole new way of living has opened up. I no longer get drowned in the outside energies because I have learned that what we see and feel and so on it the world, not just self. Once 8 realized that I was able to see what energies where mine and what energies belong to others. The answer was 98 percent. I know that sounds like putting blame on others and using empathetic nature as a crutch but the proof is in the freedom I now feel. The love and joy I find in my nature. We are not like other humans, we cannot fully understand ourselves on those terms. Once we let go of traditional ways of thinking we find our truth.

I will keep your daughter in my heart and prayers. I pray that this experience strengthens her and turns positive. It may give her a push to really get control of her empathic nature. That this is happening while she is still young and in your care, while it is not ideal, is a blessing. She has your support and strength to help her through and grow into a strong and healthy empath.

Many blessings

My daughter is struggling

Empath

There is some good advice.

From my own experience I have taken the meds and the right ones will help. I did not have to take them long term. Empathy is being studied, just not every where in the states.

Someone mentioned judith orloff and she is good. She is actually a professor at UCLA where they allow her to research empathy and she is also an empath.

While being on hold at a hospital can be scary it can also help. It helped me. No they did not talk about empathy however the tools they gave me for coping help. And whether they acknowledge it or not most of the people there are empaths. They may not know they are empaths but because they have the same experience being around them did wonders for me. I know that most are completely against conventional therapy, I know from personal experience that is throwing the baby out with the bath water.

There is always the option of her studying music privately.

I am classically trained pianist. After a while because I am an empath the conventional study of music did not work for me either. Musicians are filled with heavy energies and being stuck around the wrong ones, like the jealous ones can hurt like hell.

I took gabapentin and zoloft. After doing research on my own I found that gabapentin can actually dull some of the empathic nature. It gave me time to get control of my empathic nature. I took it for almost a year and then I was able to stop

In therapy we learned about setting boundaries. That was the greatest tool any empath can recieve. Un my life being able to do this has helped me keep the unwanted people away. They also know that they cannot bother me because I have made it clear what I will deal with. Having a good sense of boundaries developed a great trust in self. When I am not trusting of myself I do not feel safe and my empathetic nature flares up.

There is also dialectical behavioral therapy. Most congnitive therapist teach it. It is actually the ground work for getting a handle on your empathic nature, the doctors who teach it just don't realize that. This therapy is all about being mindful and living in the moment. It also involves a lot of meditating. The cognitive therapy also teaches you to control your mind and be aware of what is going on at all times.

For myself as an empath being aware of what is going on inside my head has made being an empath fun.

I went through the suicidal phase. It was horrible and confusing because the truth was that I did not want to die. In fact I believe I was picking up so much negative energy that it got internalized and manifested into suicidal thoughts.

After taking the medication short term, going to therapy, and doing my own work with my empathy I feel much better.

I'm not saying your daughter needs meds. In Hope's that something in my experience can be helpful.

I will say the gabapentin helped much more than the zoloft. In fact I think it was the only med that helped. Once I started taking it I was able to stop taking the zoloft. I will also give you a heads up in case you are interested in the gabapentin. It has such a mild effect that the dose prescribed can be very high. However it is also one of those meds that the doctor gave me freedom with. He gave me the prescription and told me to take what felt right for me.

Feeling good?

Empath

Okay so as the day went on it started to get a little heavy. I wonder if I am just learning my limits. Either way, I am grateful for days like today.

Feeling good?

Empath

Also I am in an extremely crowded place and I don't feel bothered by it.

updated by @crystalsage: 04/08/18 08:03:11PM

Feeling good?

Empath

I have noticed a major shift and I'm not sure how it happened.

A couple of days ago I decided to pull up the selenite grid that is around my room. When I pulled the first crystal I felt and instant life of the weight I have been feeling. Normally my room stays pretty messy. In fact I am never motivated to clean it. Been like that my whole life. However after I removed the grid I cleaned my room. Now it's not spotless but anyone who knows me would be amazed. 

Today I went to work and noticed more positive but strange things. There is this girl who is nice, but I cannot stand to be anywhere near her normally.  She has an energy that makes me sick.  However today she had no affect on my.  I didn't realize it at first.  Usually without looking I can tell she's there. Today she stood right next to me and I had no idea she was even there.  I was even able to talk to her without feeling sick. 

Last night after letting the selenite rest on my window sill for a day I reset the grid letting the crystals tell me where they wanted to go and burned some lavender. I meditated for 30 min with my malachite. I also gave the crystals I work with a lot a break from me for a couple of days. And I removed the wire wrapping from my main pendent which is a combo of black kyanite and tigers eye. And went to sleep with her, black tourmaline, and hematite in my hand. I didn't feel a major change when I woke up. But I am noticing a lot of changes.

I'm wondering if anyone else is noticing any shifts in energy right now? Because some of the things I did are not new. But the outcome has been amazing. 

It's so different that I almost feel confused. I wish I knew just what changed so I can do it all the time.

Living in a beautiful moment 

Energy attack/ how to diss O’Conner form one

Empath

Screaming and loud singing can also help remove energies. The exhalation is a release of the old and the inhalation brings in new.

When we hold oil n to hard to old energies we start to feel anxiety in the chest because that is where most of the movement that needs to happen takes place.

Energy attack/ how to diss O’Conner form one

Empath

There is some really good advice here.

I agree with grounding. It is the best way to expel all energies that do not belong to you.

Sometimes grounding is hard. In my experience it can hurt at times and it generally takes time but is worth the work.

As my name suggests I like crystals as aids for grounding and protecting. Malachite is great for drawing out negative energies.

Other things that help are deep meditation, good sleep and a protein heavy diet.

Sage and lavender help me change my mood as well as changing my room around to shift th energy in my private space.

I also have a grid of selenite around my room to help me cleanse.

If you use crystals they may need to be cleaned and recharged. I recently had to to that to the grid in my room. Although selenite technically doesn't need to be cleaned it can get overloaded with the energies it is absorbing from you, the same way all crystals can. I have noticed that after a long day the best thing I can do is remove move my crystals. I have noticed that in doing so I also feel the energies being removed from my body. At times our personal crystals absorb so much that the energy I don't want is kept with me until I remove them and give them a break from me.

I have also found that blunt honesty with the person can help. For example I have a friend who has a strong tendency to latch on to me so I stop answering the phone and become distant. She gets upset no matter how I try to say what I need. However this has been a good thing. I have noticed that when she gets upset she begins to distance herself from me and in turn she helps me cut the cord by inadvertently cutting it on her end too. It can be harsh but it keeps me mentally and emotionally healthy. When I am healthy I am in a better position to help when I can and life is just better in general.

Hope it all works out and remember....nothing last forever.

snake analogy

Empath

You're welcome. I also work on self improvement. I have learned that for myself it is the quickest way to change my environment.

Does the empath have a purpose?

Empath

Please don't misunderstand. I see my last question as a positive thing. If this world is simply reflective than we have a lot more power than we realize. I'm simply asking if that is possible.

Does the empath have a purpose?

Empath

I'm wondering if the world and self are just reflections of one another aren't those people who we want to heal simply apart of us? The messy neighbor, even the vampires and the narcs. And if so couldn't we get rid of, or improve those things simply by healing self?

If it is our job to ground energy, then shouldn't we let go of the sadness, pain, and fear that sometimes comes with being an empath? In doing so we wouldn't we be grounding those energies, and therefore cleansing them and making space for new energies that also need to be grounded? Is it possible that we spend too much time running from the "negative " that we are supposed to be grounding, so it has become free to roam about the earth? Is this world our own doing?

updated by @crystalsage: 04/04/18 05:05:40AM

snake analogy

Empath

@spiritualskies

As far as grounding goes for myself I have learned to have several ways to ground. What works today may not work tomorrow so it is useful to have a lot of different techniques.

I am big fan of crystals. That may be something you can look into. I like breathing exercises, writing, reading helps me get into my own head and out of others. Daydreaming, singing, smudging, quiet sitting, solitude among other things are things I like to do.

Snake analogy...

I believe that things do not necessarily have a set place as good or evil. I believe that the snake analogy can also be good, your idea of shedding skin representing growth is one.

There is a symbol of a snake eating it's own tail, and just continuing to go around in an endless circle. It could be symbolic of a cycle destruction, or of an eternal truth.

I think it depends on what it means to you in the moment. From what you have said it sounds like you may be at a point where things that were once negatives for you may now be turning into positives.

Does the empath have a purpose?

Empath

I'm sure these questions have been asked before but please allow me to ask them again. 

Is there a purpose that an empath is supposed to fulfill and if so what is it? Is it our job to absorb these energies that make us feel the way we do and if so what are we supposed to do with that energy? What are we capable of doing with that energy? What are we capable of doing in general? Is there a greater use of our empathic nature?

Shielding yourself

Empath

@krosskelt I thought about what you said about not shielding today. There were quite a few people at work today who just had a really heavy energy. So I focused on grounding their energy as it was coming to me. It hurt at first and made me feel. Sick. However the more I allowed that energy to ground, which made me start think that this is the purpose of the empath, the easier it was to feel that energy.

Today was a day where there was so much energy on me that normally I would have had to shut down for the rest of the day. I hear the buzzing that usually comes and I felt a rise in body temperature and yet I am able to acknowledge that it was not my energy. Long story short I didn't internalize any of that energy like I normally do.

Shielding yourself

Empath

Lol. I hide in the bathroom sometimes too. It does help.

Negative CoWorkers

Empath

When it comes to boundaries in my experience I have had to be just as firm with people I love as I would with strangers. In some cases I would even have to be more strict with those closest to me.

I like the rose quartz idea. I also have crystals work. Maybe you could even give her one as a gift for her desk since you are close.

Negative CoWorkers

Empath

@sashacat1995 Can you put headphones on at work?

I do on rough days and it helps. I have a friend who even bought the wireless headset. So it's hard to tell when she is listening to music.

Shielding yourself

Empath

@tigerlily can you put headphones on at work?

I do on rough days when I can it really helps. I have a friend who even bought the wireless headset so it hard to tell when she is listening to music because she needs it to talk.

Shielding yourself

Empath

I just had I thought I figured I'd share.
Having one focus at a time helps me. For example some days when I work that is all I do. I spend the rest of the day doing self care. I don't pick up the phone go on social media or anything. Some days when I go out with a friend it's the same deal. It lessens the energy I pick up through the day.

Shielding yourself

Empath

You know I don't think its limited to physical sickness. Sometimes I think it could also be and imbalance, of what I am not exactly sure.

I noticed that some people are a lot hotter than normal. It's like their energy is on fire.

When I feel balanced I feel cold, but not in an comfortable way. Cold in the way you feel once tha swelling goes down, or when a fever goes away. I feel good, like I can handle anything.

It's when I come into contact with anyone who has that fever like quality. I need to get away from them.

It's also causing me to change my view of the narc, because it's the same feeling but sometimes it comes from the sweetest people. People who happen to be angry or going through something. A lot of times it could be a mental disorder of sorts. But not everyone who has a mental disorder emits that same energy.

In fact today I am taking a break from the world so I can regroup "get back to work"

I'm starting to think that narcs are in more pain than all of us. I'm not saying that we have to bend over and bow to them. I'm just wondering if the amount of healing that they is more than we can handle and that is what makes them weaken us. Or if it is the case that they do not want to be healed.

I am of the mind that when something is not working than a change needs to be made. It's like the idea that instead of having a anti-war rally, a meeting focused on peace would have a better outcome.

It seem to me that all empaths have great difficulty dealing with narcs. Difficulty that can be disruptive to our lives. The coping skills we apply work for a while, but I wonder if there is a more effective way to handle the situation. I myself am tired of taking breaks, not because I want to but because I need it. I loved my last job and had to leave because my boss was a narc. I am tired of feeling like this other entity has control over where I can exist in the world. I want an end to this.
Maybe it is possible that the narc and the empath are the universal representation of yin and yang, and once we stop trying to change each we may find a way to heal together. To live side by side peacefully.

Of course in the mean time. We all have to do what we need to do to survive. Which for me means keeping my distance. And when I am around a narc I mentally check out into my daydreams.

My mother is a narc and daydreaming is how I survived her. I actually don't daydream as much but I do it more and more now. It really helps me.

Shielding yourself

Empath

Have you thought about finding a new job?
I had a boss who made me sick like that. He seemed like the nicest person but most narcs do. I didn't fully recover until I left that place. His wife went through the same thing with him.

The reason I ask if he was sick is because for me the side effects of each narc is different. The more I talk to them the more I realize that all the sicknesses I pick up usually belong long t ok them. They never show symptoms because I've taken it all, or be given, from them.

Shielding yourself

Empath

@tigerlily that sounds like a long day. I wonder if he's sick?

There is a girl at my job who has a similar affect on me. My ears hurt first and then my head whenever she talks. I keep a few feet in between us and mentally tune her out. It's too much.

@krosskelt I love your crystal collect. I like the variety and the sizes. I always carry stones with me. I feel overwhelmed if I don't.

Although I made a silly mistake because I felt bad for a coworker. She was experiencing a haunting after visiting a burial ground. She wasn't getting any sleep and it was freaking her out. So I let her borrow my jet and tourmaline, just so she could get a feel to see if it w was s for her. Unfortunately I don't think I'm getting them back. I've never lent someone my stone before. Never will again. I just felt bad for her. She's an empath and is unwilling to accept it and is completely unguarded. I thought the stones might help.

Shielding yourself

Empath

@tigerlily
I don't know if it's bad energy. The way it was explained to me was that it is energy that does not belong to me.

I don't think the body can handle all that excess energy for long and maybe that's why we get tired and start to feel sick.

I hand an issue with my hand that left me unable to use it for 6 months. And even after that i dealt with a great deal of pain for almost 2 years.

After 4 months of meditating with shungite and cerrusite I got the full use of my hand back. And lots of other things improved. The first day I started with the two stones my whole body shook uncontrollably. It felt like there was an earthquake happening inside me. The more I did it the less I shook. After a while my mood drastically improved. I had been going through a severe depression and was even suicidal. It was strange though because it was like there were two of me. There was a strong urge to want to end my life, but there was another part of me that kept saying no call for help. It was like I had no control of my own mind. I was on a lot of medications until I removed the excess energy. Then all the depression and suicidal thoughts went away as if they were never there.

In fact that is the event that made me accept I was an empath. At first I thought I was silly but the more I researched and soul search the more life made sense. The better I felt.

So I became curious at just how much was me and how much was other people. I grew up in a small town and was very secluded from others because of my up bringing. So I was fortunate to be able to spend my childhood truly connected with my true self.

In fact I never had problems unless I was around a tremendous amount of people. Small groups were fine because I spent so much time alone that I grounded outside energy unconsciously.

I ran into major problems when I first moved to new York city. However I had a very rough upbringing so I thought it was my own mind that was the problem. I new that I had certain gifts because I always seemed to know things about places and people and never knew why. There were also other experiences I couldn't deny.

This part is also @krosskelt. I now live in the bay area and I totally understand what you mean about sf. It is the most heartbroken city I have ever visited. There is so much pain there. In fact it was where I was when the suicidal thoughts started happening.

Therapy is what made me realize it was the energy of the city I was picking up on. I would go to work in the city and the anxiety and depression would be driven to extreme lengths. I would take a break for a few days and be completely back to normal. At first the doctor thought I was bipolar and so did I. But I didn't have the right symptoms for bipolar 1 or 2. I wouldn't get manic or hypomanic, just extremely depressed and then normal. In fact my doctor's office was about 30 miles from the city and most of the time I would be perfectly fine by the time I got there unless I had been working in the city for weeks on end.

I know for myself that even when i realized and accepted my empathetic abilities i had no clue just how much of my life was being lived based on outside energy that i was picking up. The short answer was all of it. It was like i was a cup that was not only full but being constantly overflowed.

I must say that as crazy as that experience has been i am totally excited for the future. I don't have a complete handle on my abilities but I am aware of them now and I have myself back and I have missed my beautiful soul. I have always felt different and now I know why and I am happy for it.

@tigerlily I honestly think that most, if not all of what you feel is empathetic. However I am of the strongest mind that only you can truly know that. For myself when I was new to my empath side one of my greatest fears was that I was using this as an excuse to displace blame. Now I realize that it was just a fear.

I could seriously go on forever about this. I now know who I am, and while there are no true words to explain it. I will say this. The true me doesn't feel much pain, sadness or anger or much of anything. I mean that in a sage like, not dissociative, way. What I do feel is the world. I don't know just what I am supposed to do with that yet. I do believe that as empaths we are a lot stronger than we truly know. I think the world we now live in has suppressed us for so long that we have rightfully become afraid of truly accepting just what we are capable of.

I love you all much. Truly enjoying this feed.

Gotta get back to work.

Take care.

Shielding yourself

Empath

@krosskelt do you work with crystals at all?

For myself I find that they help keep me grounded, or allow me to quickly release.

Negative CoWorkers

Empath

I have had similar experiences with co-workers and friends.

At my job now there is a woman who is extremely nice but I want nothing to do with her.

I have found that she is going through a terrible time in life and the reality is that she wants nothing to do with herself. At first I would get really sick and tired around her. So I started avoiding her and I felt bad.

When I heard her talking I started to realize that it wasn't what I was feeling it was what she was feeling. I do that a lot and have only recently began to really see it.

So now I remind myself that the pain, anger, or whatever, is not mine. Doing that helps me have patience with her.

I take a moment to let that energy ground and I feel better.

I carry a lot of grounding stones with me. I wear them or keep them in my pocket. When she gets close I palm some of them for extra help.

I also have a friend who has troubled relationships. She'll call me and then her pain is with me just as much as it is with her.

As bad as I felt I had to be firm with her in setting my boundaries. I didn't have the luxury of being subtle because we are so close. It was hard, her feelings were definitely hurt even though I was careful to make my words gentle.

In that situation I had to make a choice. Her depression was so bad that it was affecting my life. And I feel that my initial unwillingness to hurt her was enabling her to not face her problems and come up with a solution.

I hate to say that it took over a year and a lot of being firm in my boundaries and not picking up the phone when I didn't feel right about it. But now I feel much better. And it is much easier to talk to her. And she also seems to be doing better.

I had to accept that people go through rough times and sometimes times that is apart of life. I cannot protect others from that.

Someone I knew once told me; " you cannot help a butterfly out of it's cocoon because it will never learn."

In the practical sense if you tried to help an actual butterfly from its cocoon it would die. It is the strenuous process of coming out of the cocoon that makes its frail wings strong and thus able to fly and carry its body. If a butterfly can't fly it will surely be eaten, or die of starvation, or die from weakness.

Hope you find something helpful in my story.

Take care!

Shielding yourself

Empath

@tigerlily I do not know if it is the same for all of us. However when you mentioned that you shake when your coworker talks to you.

I have also noticed a shakey feeling around certain people or even while meditating after a hard day.

An energy worker told me it is a sign of energy from others. For myself I have noticed this to be true. I wonder if you feel it is the same for you?

Shielding yourself

Empath

@krosskelt I found what you said very interesting and true for myself. I did not know that we were not supposed to block things out but after reading what you wrote it makes sense to me.

I read an book online called the book of storms. While he never says what you just said he is definitely all about embracing our empathic nature. In fact he never mentions shielding. He does talk a lot about grounding and realizing that everything we are from our sight smell and taste etc. is apart of that nature.

The first time I tried reading his book I get hit with a flood of information so overwhelming I could not tell where I began and it ended.

I had to change the way I viewed the world and accept that I will never see things the way others feel because as empaths we are always recieving.

Once I accepted that life as an empath has been enjoyable. I still have my moments when I get overcrowded by the world, however I've noticed that when I observe the information coming in I am able to tell what is mine and what is not. The funny thing is most of it is not mine.

Obviously I love using crystals to help me. Recently I have begun to think that we are like human crystals and it is our job to allow that energy to pass through us so that it can go back through the earth, or wherever it goes, to keep the energy flowing instead of staying stagnant.

I actually feel better when I do that and I notice that my environment improves without my doing anything at all.

Sometimes I get random calls from people who I have not spoken too in a while who wish to confide in me. After the conversation is over I hear a change in their voice, one often of release. When I get off the phone I notice that all that energy is in me. That part can be frustrating at time but once I let the energy ground I feel just fine, happy even, like I did my job.

So I enjoyed reading what you wrote.

Shielding yourself

Empath

I do a few things that I find work.

As far as stones go I keep a combo of black tourmaline and jet in my pocket. When things get intense I hold them in my hand.

I wear black kyanite and tigers eye around my neck. The kyanite helps ground the unwanted energy and the tiger's eye fills me with loving and focused energy.

I also keep red garnets in my pocket, they keep any negative energy from turning inward.

Setting very clear boundaries with people has been amazing for me.

I also sleep with stones, that helps clear out the energies of the day so I can start fresh in the morning.

Loud noises can help shift energies.

Being aware of what energy is mine and what is not helps me give the energies time to leave my body.

Also deep breathing, with a strong emphasis on the exhalation really helps me. When no one is around I blow raspberries. That helps me eliminate the old energy allowing more room for new energy.

I have had the experience were old copping strategies stop working.

I have also found that I have to clean my stones every night. Talking to them and thanking them in advance every morning for their help through the day.

I also recently bought a decent size peice of hematite. It was pretty rough the first few days but now I feel even better.

Free writing helps me too. I don't do it all the time just when I need to.

I have also made a grid of selenite around my room to create a safe space for my energy to flow.

I sleep with blue and green kyanite and malachite under my pillow. I often hold the jet and black tourmaline in my hand and have added the hematite. The first time I did this I was surprised to wake up with them still in my hand. I slept well and felt amazing the next day.

I have also found that for myself I am like you said as a radio. I am always tuned into the energies of my surroundings. Once I accepted this I have found it much easier and I enjoy it. I feel like I am tuned into information that most are not. I have learned that what I feel, see hear, smell, and hear are all empathetic information. When I don't interpret it, I get overwhelmed because I am not telling the energy I don't want to go. When I pay attention to it which, as difficult as I know it can be, sometimes means eye contact I am put in a sense of strength.

I am always receiving empathic information. For example I have a co-worker I avoid. She is a very nice person but there is something very of balance about her energy. When ever she talks I go through a series of different emotions. I have recently realized she is sick and I think somewhat depressed. That series of emotions I go through are hers which is why I don't want to be around her, because she doesn't want to be around herself. I would actually like to get her some stones but she is not open to it. So I keep my distance as much as I can. I am polite but I do very little interacting with her.

I think some have to find their own way as much as I would like to help. Her own energy will not let me in. So I listen to my instincts and stay away.

Hope there was something helpful in all of that.

Take care.

Family issues & living with someone who accumulates and unloads stress

Empath

Yes. I am a sponge. I soak up so much energy from another person that at times I even act like them. As soon as I clear all that energy I'm back to myself. Happy. Even when life is difficult, I am happy because it's just life. Life is a game and games are fun but not without their ups and downs.

Feeling bad

Empath

@tigerlily I would like to apologize to you. I thought the topic was interesting and only meant to add an opinion from my experience.

In my experience when I acknowledge that the bad feeling belongs to the Narc for me it immediately goes away.

I gave that information with the thought that if you wanted to take something from it you could.

Anything I say is merely my opinion, given in the mind set that open communication is beneficial, because it may be helpful to someone. Just as the communication I have received here has been helpful to me.

Thank you and take care

Feeling bad

Empath

I'm sorry that it is difficult for you to accept that I disagree. I never used the word hate. I'm sorry that you feel I am saying you are coming fro. That place. In fact the word hate never crossed my mind, only that I disagree.

I am also speaking from my own experience. I'm sorry that you cannot accept.

I like this forum because for me it is a safe place to express different ideas. With that being said.

I wish you much peace. As I seem to have struck a cord with you, I am now choosing to disconnect.

I appreciate your opinion, and respect it as such.

Thank you and take care.

Feeling bad

Empath

I also never said you didn't have compassion.

I also said whether or not you chose to connect is a choice.

To say a person is not human because you dislike them is not truly a basis for fact however. Whether you are describing their energy or their physical, I'm not sure there is really a difference.

When I spoke of writing others off, I was referring to the statement that disregards them as human.

I simply disagree just as you disagree with my belief that narcs actually do feel. No more, no less.

Again whether or not you chose to connect with a person is a choice.

Feeling bad

Empath

It's easy to completely write someone off. To say their souls is different is to say that their are children born wrong. And it completely disregard the changes life experience can have on a person.

Now I am not saying that those changes have to become your problem. In fact I am saying the opposite.

We all make a choice in life particularly when faced with challenges. We can chose to blame the world or we can react with hope and compassion. It is insecurity in one's self that leads to the Narc tendencies.

The more insecure a person is the more controlling and angry they tend to be. Again their issues does not have to be your own. That again is a choice. The entirety of existence is connected. You need only be aware.

It is compassion and wisdom that allows us to see and feel the world the way we do. It is with that compassion that we get through life as an empath without being overtaken by all the bad.

After all the idea of what a narc is, was created by the idea of what a compassionate person is. In creating beauty we simultaneously create ugliness.

updated by @crystalsage: 03/17/18 01:34:14PM

Feeling bad

Empath

Yes they do.

Feeling bad

Empath

I think its the Narc who is feeling bad and we are just picking up on that emotion.

For me as soon as I put up a shield that feeling goes away whether they are in my presence or not.

Family issues & living with someone who accumulates and unloads stress

Empath

@womanwhowalks great advice.

I met an energy worker who told me to do the same thing.

I asked hi. To teach me and he would not. He told me that once I cleared out my energy I wouldn't need to be taught. At first I was irritated with him but I listened anyway.

Turns out he was right.

Family issues & living with someone who accumulates and unloads stress

Empath

That is exactly what I mean. It's going to happen anyway so I embrace it.

Holding black tourmaline does help me shut it down for the most part. It's how I "take a nap" so to speak. When I'm truly tired I sleep holding a combo of black tourmaline and jet in my had. It draws out all the access energy. For me it feels like my brain is being emptied and shielded without me having to do a lot of work.

The book is a bit dense. I took one chapter every few days And stopped when I didn't feel like it. I have tried several other books, this one had the most effective techniques. I don't not follow all the instructions I have added my own personal twist to help it suite me better. After reading and trying it's techniques for me the empathic information flowed a lot more smoothly and a lot of the physical aspects have gone away.

Also I may have said it wrong earlier. It's not so much as when it is on me, more like what and/ or who. Once I got back in touch with my basic nature, which for me is very nonchalant, I was able to clearly see the difference between myself and others. It's hard for me to truly explain. Most information and understanding comes to me as a picture or a feeling that I try to put into words. Some things I can, some I can only picture.

It's like as an empath I live simultaneously in this realm and the spiritual realm. In fact I think all people do. The spiritual realm is where we live an eternal existence. The more past lives you have live the more the two realms blend and you can tap into the spiritual. For me seeing life in this way allows me a great deal of control. I am aware of my dual existence and am learning more and more everyday how to walk that line. I wish I could draw, then maybe I could paint a picture that says what words cannot.

If you will think of that guilt you feel when you try to distance yourself from your dad. I would say you should consider the possibility that the guilt you feel is his not your own. As all of the world is one, that dual existence in this case would be you living as him and yourself. I use this example because when he went on his trip and you had actual distance from him, did you notice feeling that guilt, or was it gone? When in solitude how do you feel?

Have you ever considered that the way you feel in solitude is truly you, and everything else is marked with empathy?

There is a Maya Angelo poem that g is a as follows: "Solitude can be a much to be desired condition. Not only is it acceptable to be alone, at times it is positively wished for. In silence we listen to ourselves, And in the quietude we may even hear the voice of God."

We always hear of the sage going off to be away from society in order to complete his training so to speak. I think of it as a way to process and decompress.

I going to stop hear because I'm not sure how to say the rest.

But I will say as for sources, the world is my source. Not being dramatic, by that I mean I view the world as one. Everything is connected and as an empath I am much more aware of that connection. That is the underlying difference between myself and others. They are connected just the same, only less aware. Being that they are connected for me means that everything and everyone and occurrence is a reflection of...let's just keep using the spiritual realm as an example. For example a painting, a story, even words that just unconsciously fly out of someone's mouth can contain that greater truth. Because we all live in that dual existence, it's just a matter of awareness.

Hope that made sense.

updated by @crystalsage: 03/16/18 08:46:41PM