What is your biggest issue as an empath?
Patience to you.
Thank you for your kind words. No I have not been publishing, only on my blog that I use with my therapist to remove my emotional locks. That blog is hidden and protected by password. And as I wrote above -I write poems only when I feel emotionally so. Before I had to eat all my emotions and dampen them. I believe in future I will write more, yet cant say how much. Need condition for poetry.
"I do not have all the equipment that is needed to make great music, just a guitar and my voice."
That is enough for creative soul <3 One of my favorite songs, though its from a game, but made by people outside of Dev team.
Enderal Bards - The Winter Sky
Ahah. Yes. They definitely know how to release energy out ^^ I liked it. Good to listen on background. Especially when you have to do some boring stuffies and need some balance for mood :3
Yet I am more sad and dramatic person. Fell in love into this melody lately :
To the Children
I am grateful to this community, that helped and patiently listened to me, when I was most broken.
I am grateful to people in real life who did not let me go, when I wanted to run away, helped me.
I am grateful to those people who helped so many to make easier future for others.
I am grateful to starter of this topic.
I am grateful to my parents, because they tried.
I am grateful that I can be thankful and forgive.
I am a dog person. I like cats too, yet they wont feel missing part in my inner world. I love dogs, because they have something I miss a lot...Energy. Someone who would poke you with nose and look at your with gaze that says -"lets go out". Basically its not me who takes dog on a walk, its dog who is walking me ^^ Also they radiate a lot of positive energy. Its enough to clap your hands for them to start and jump around, which always affected me in healthy way.
Had four dogs myself. Starting from Russian Bolonka, Collie and ending with Schnauzer, ChiHuaHua. Always with them from the start till the end. From beginning when we run and spend great time together, that no single other person could give me in this world, and till the end, when they become old and weak, need lots of love and care. Even when they start to get weak and sleep most of the day...Its so pleasant when they come near and start to sniff your ear or lick your face few times...Makes every single moment spent together for over a dozen years rush trough a head.
I also had two cats. Yet cant tell much about them. I love them, love to pet them and look at them. Yet there is no connection. With cats the void is still there, unfilled...
1.) I believe my dogs were more like something that cleaned me from bad energy most of the times.
2.) Yes. When I felt downed my dogs were pretty quick to relieve bad feeling. The anger, sadness or heavy state changed into something loving in no time.
3.) I really cant answer this one for sure. I believe they did. Basically I feel bad living without little fur friends.
4.) Sometimes my dogs refused to go in specific places. Or places they went before, but put "hand brake" on occasionally and we had to change route. But its hard to tell for sure. Too much to pay attention at after my "new life".
Sometimes my dog were barking or growling without reason. Or at least it seemed so. Because there was no sounds or smells I noticed. But who knows. Those are moments of strange behavior that came to my mind.
"With all the heated stuff that's been going on I think a lot of single men are now at a loss on how to meet women without being labelled as a predator. I keep reading articles how they are afraid to try to pick up on women and be labelled a perv. And I'm not talking about the bad male predator behavior that needs to go away. I'm talking about normal guys that respect women and are just looking for opportunities to meet them."
I can relate to that with ease -_-
Yes. I felt something inside that seemed to drive me crazy if I wont release it somehow. Moon has strong effect on me, like I believe on many other people. Insomnia, thoughts and so on. I live on highest point in our city. At day I see green tree leaves, at night bright city lights horizon. When I go outside to smoke -I always see bright moon. Very bright, even my eyes starts to get wet from that white neon light. Its beautiful and makes feel emotional often.
The words did came to me faster than I could write them down. Sometimes it felt like all at one time. Like jigsaw puzzle pieces you put on ground, that you need to set in order and build a picture.
Never tried that automatic writing before. Yet there was hundreds of times when I thought about it, it was inside and mostly felt like curiosity all the time. I wondered what it would seem like in the end, after I write all it down without analyzing it with my brains. Yet never tried. But now video you suggested proved that there is actually that kind of technique. Thank you for telling me this, because it were often spinning in my head, yet only as theory that I never had time to check out. Now I got my proves ehe
It took some time to write this poem, mostly because its in foreign language and I was thinking a lot how it would sound for other people.
I don't usually read poetry too, neither write a lot of it. Unless I get emotional in a "poetry" way ehe Usually I use other ways to express. Thank you for reading.
My spirit animal is old, humanoid like goat, with long hair and beard, that has rings braided into them. Wears a long, torn cloak and short pants, like peasants in medieval time. Has many bags on his "rope belt", with different herbs and powders. He smokes long pipe, like one that Indians do. He has a tiny smile on his face and a look of "you cant trick me, i know it before you do". His character is soft, but with notes of pushiness, to not just sit in one place, to slowly move forward. He often answers questions with cunning smile and with look that tells : "you know it yourself, just afraid to say it aloud".
Overall I see him as something wise and caring, yet without adding any shackles. And for some reason name "Papa" is circling my mind. So that's how I was calling him in my mind for long time already. Sometimes I think maybe its my grandfather, the one I never saw alive, only on pictures. Because way he is and what I heard my relatives telling me about my grandfather are almost identical like two water drops, if we talk about character.
I don't know whats this about, but I feel pretty crazy tonight from full moon and it made me write. I am not responsible for bad grammar and wrong choice of words...Its all the craziness from the moon today O_O Thank you :E
You show your pale cheek again
In front of darkest curtains.
Shrouded by infinite gazes,
that overlook your silhouette.
Your tired breathing is sweet,
sailing trough high treetops.
Your loudest words are silence,
and timid steps are fluent.
You take your sheets from heaven,
and release them down on soil.
You fill your fields with quiet,
when lit your candles cold aureole.
Its azure light was given,
there was no choice to choose.
Endless void your light is filling,
for seekers of the sooth.
You touch an ocean with languid kiss,
create a road of porcelain.
You crave for loving, thawing bond,
without drowning anyone.
You slowly fill a bowl with water,
and pour it on dried creek.
With grace you fill another,
in fall you splash it near your feet.
You look at crimson horizon,
burning line, which calls your tears.
In bright shine you are remaining
as a shadow of its gilt.
In blurry cry you gather strength.
You raise yourself, you almost scream…
Before in blinding flash you disappear,
and leave a trace of “morning” dew…
I am left handed and right brained. Made some test to determine which brain half I got, but the most effective way in my taste is just to close eyes, relax and feel which brain half you feel more. The one you perceive this world trough will be heavier, you will literally feel like it touches your skull from inside, while the other will feel empty or small, lighter. Feeling both means that you are equally using both halves.
This is pretty interesting topic. Never had thought about this before. About energy, now that I am sitting in cafe and I payed attention. I feel different flows better with my right side, and almost none of it with my left side. Tried to change position and sides and it was same. I especially feel flows with my arms. So I think it possibly has some connection with energy receiving and being left/right brained. Will pay more attention at this in future, will make some tests. Seems to me at this point, like my left hand can function as limb and right hand as antennae O_o
Maybe I should change wrists for my black tourmaline and hematite bracelet and see if there will be difference. Right now I am without them, but usually wear tourmaline on left and hematite on right.
"I occasionally have energy leak from the top of my head when I am overloaded."
I have the same. It feels like there is burning coal in head that emits heat from the top of it, except that coal is not hot. Also I noticed that during times like this I feel more of everything with my body.
"Interesting how it works for you."
I feel like I am receiving from right side and emitting from left side of my chest and hips.
"It just seems to go deeper and get internalized."
Hmm. Interesting. For me I think I don't store energy in myself. It feels more, like I work like filter. Energy goes in and moment after leaves out in different form. I feel dirty and worn off from inside often. Now that I think...Mine not very positive mother tends to sit always on my right side, while some of my rare friends prefer to sit on my left side. I don't know if it has something to with it, but suspicious it is :E
You mean create own sigil from my imagination, the one that is on my mind often? Or something like that?
Unfortunately cant purchase guide and runes now. But I am able to carve my own ones if needed, got a tool for that. Maybe if I use guide from and carve my own ones it will be good. Library might have some books.
Thank you for your reply.
I was wondering lately. Crystals, numbers, wood, energy are in empaths life. But what about runes or sigils? Do they have effect or meaning in them? I really could use anything you could share from your perspectives.
Need to try different relaxing techniques for myself too, thank you. Usually I just waited it to pass itself. I think my heart problems come from my own struggles, not others, because I was hermit for very long time now, finally taking time I deserved. But starting to slowly crawl out of my cave, because of feeling under-stimulated, but only for activities that interest me and I was afraid to do before, because they touched emotions somehow.
This is good article, though when I started to first learn about empaths and look at many different sources it feels like this exactly same text was on many sites and blogs already, with only minor changes. This one just seem to summarize many of them in one larger one.
" You can only love yourself in extent that you have been loved by others, but you can only love someone to the extent that you love yourself "
P.S. Words like only, all, everyone, everybody, all the time, every time and such...Bad words, bad bad bad... :E
Narcissist are not evil, furthermore such thing as evil don't exist in my opinion...Its something people invented. Its just their way to cope as you said and I agree. Does not mean that it should be tolerated, but something that can allow people to treat narcissist not like devil walking on earth and just spit in their faces.
You can turn emotions off or just remind yourself that narcissists are a job for experts out there, those experts who also get well paid for all the patience by the way, not your thing to repair.
I still don't agree people to put narcissist brand on a person who they have not met personally in life, no matter therapist or narcissist in past who puts it. Maybe it is narcissist, maybe its a person with borderline personality disorder, which is completely different thing, yet can be similar in behavior. Narcissists are absolute tip of negative end of spectrum.
Still if that person makes you feel bad -I agree. Its better to leave that person. Sometimes its hard and you have urge to return, to make it right this time, but over time it passes and becomes easier. Also Toxicity is very selective thing in people.
I agree with that Tutor about training your emotional thinking. This is something I started myself many months back, it does make life easier for sensitive souls. Its something very necessary for balance. As well as taking people that don't serve you any good away. Keep your feelings in line with logic. There is still that "I have to help" voice every time in me, but I mostly punch it back with my mind.
Also. Urge to heal narcissist is often mistaken for love for sensitives.
So did you find what you were searching for here or something else is on your mind?
First I would like to start with a short introduction...
Narcissist, empath, HSP. These words are thrown right and left in world nowadays almost carelessly. And in most cases they don't even match the truth. Narcissists are worst kind of people there is and putting a "narc" seal on a person needs lots of evidences for that, not just a story. Don't forget that there is also emotionally damaged people, which often act in narcissistic ways, there is also people that are still deeply hurt and seek relief and peace to recover later, and lots and lots more. Dividing people on normal/narcissist is just very narrow way of seeing things. That is why it needs EXPERT to actually make diagnosis of someone else to have disorder or other illness, and these experts work for months with patient until signing a verdict. People can call themselves narcissists as much as they want, but think 10 times before they call someone else a narc. Its a very serious accusation, furthermore that never should be told to actual narcissist, because it can sabotage that little chance for their recovery.
Now to actual topic. First of all. Welcome to our site! And also I am sorry if I will "sound" a bit robotic, but that's my way, Im not cold or against anything about you or that girl, just serious attitude to serious things in my opinion. I wont tell you about energy and such, because that was not something you requested help with, furthermore if you are not sure if you are empath. I will tell you my thoughts about your story, but only about what you wrote, because people are complicated beings in all aspects. Take my words not as truth, but as something to think about and consider if it is so or not, something to hopefully help you understand things better, because I don't know neither you or that girl, nor your backstories and what you both were trough in life.
First of all, like I said above -I think you both are not narcissistic, too unlikely. Narcissist would not even care to come here to seek help with this issue. I think both of you are just unaware of yourselves, like mentioned . And that is completely normal in most people lives period! What my intuition tells me is that you both just have unresolved issues from past which makes you both insecure in certain situations. And you also mentioned that yourself with "patterns from past".
From what you wrote I can give a bit dull insight. If its truth or not -you can decide. You do seem like a caring guy, because you let yourself to be manipulated. And that is normal if you are not aware of yourself as caring guy, it happens very often. Second -girls, especially HSP or emotionally damaged tend to be often emotionally manipulative until they become aware or balanced. And it seems like this could take place in your situation.
I think this is what happened to you both in my theory :
My intuition tells me that you both are a bit needy people, been trough that myself too, its not something terrible and is much able to change. The girl seemed intuitively and instinctively prepare a ground for her safe escape with you, because of possible bad past with people that she got attached herself to. Its not something that she has done out of evil inside, more like as naturally formed tactic to escape if things get hurtful for her again, to flee without carry much guilt with her.
First she praised you to make herself feel easier, that chances that you will stay a bit longer increase. Then she started to collect "blame bank" for safe escape. Words like "I am afraid that you will disappear" or "I hope you can handle my mood swings" are basically questions that put pressure on you, to answer "I wont" or something encouraging for her mood swing answer. On one hand -she is honest with you -on other its something that insecure people use to keep people with them or have an excuse for later...Or manipulate not to take responsibilities for bad things. So that can leave person in situation "I cant leave, because I will look bad and ugly, feel bad, like a traitor", yet also there is nothing for you to assure her stay which makes you worried.
About you. Well. That is harder, because I also noticed, that you wrote much more about her here, but not much about yourself. So is this about her? Or is this truly about both of you?
But for now I can tell. You are not a narcissist. About her -I doubt that she is too. More like she is swinging between her fears and what she wishes. In other words -wants something, but is afraid to make a step, when you make a step towards her wishes -she flees, afraid to make it more serious, because it can hurt her more, disappoint more, most likely disappoint in herself. Maybe her past patterns make her do that, yet they come subconsciously and she cant explain even for herself why?
I think most probably that girl is either deeply wounded or emotionally damaged, but this is not verdict. Difference between narcissist and emotionally damaged person is...Narcissist abandons and betrays you without feeling bad or any kind of regret...Emotionally damaged people abandon you, because of fear to be hurt more than they already are, and that pain they cant handle or because they fear to be ashamed of themselves. Narcissist run, because they don't see flaws in themselves at all...The other, because they feel too flawed, they run from guilt, for them taking responsibility is feeling guilty, which they fear a lot. And emotionally damaged people -they do feel guilty when they do bad things. Narcissist does not suffer because of that, but the other one does, yet they don't want to suffer and want to be happy too. It makes them to behave in "fleeing, but don't want to let go" manner, taking step towards you, but then taking distance afterwards.
Her working as nurse to children I see as completely normal, nothing unusual from my perspective on all of this.
To actually understand what is going on you need knowledge about situation. First gather what you know about both of you from past to understand your behavior in present, then break your relationship into events, then ask why these events happened if you cant just let them be and they bother you. Seek additional knowledge from outside sources if you don't understand something.
Read about disorders like "Narcissistic, borderline, bipolar". About Toxic people and energy vampires. And also about emotionally damaged people. And of course learn about HSP and empaths. All these people can act in narcissistic manner from time to time or be a narcissist covering behind an innocent mask.
I can help you by giving some thoughts in private if you want, because once again as I mentioned above -people are complicated and I have truly lots to say about all of this, but don't want my post to be 1.5 meters long. And also I dealt with this kind of girl before. Spend over half year seeking answers why it happened so to us. And found out to have my peace.
P.S. Don't let negativity cloud your judgment. <3
Nothing I can do with cancer, that I accepted easily. Its not my fight, but his. I am more worried about their children. So I see all I can do is to support them in a way by helping with being with children more. I think that way the children will be "away" from that problem and safer, while my sister and her sick man can have more space and time to deal with curing the cancer. Caring 4 children can really leave them with no time and no rest in this hard time and children do need lots of attention.
I am moving slowly, carefully forward. Like walking on swamp or minefield, carefully stepping in different directions and trying the land, if its good to take step in that direction. This site and all people here were really helpful on my journey, both with support, understanding and wide variety of advice's. And I am very grateful to all of you for that, thank you <3
All my relatives are basically stressed due my sisters husband having cancer. Its still fresh news to everyone.
But also I have my own issues. My life was basically an series of short circles that started and ended leading nowhere. And now another circle is closing and I am ending up at starting point. Difference is that in next start I will be aware, but it also adds stress, because there is a lot of decisions and changes I need to make to bend the line and not let the circle to close. I feel hope that I manage it right this time, but also feel tired to go on at same time lol
And also. My heartbeat got a bit better, less intense now, after I followed some suggestions here and doctor convincing me for some time to start and take sleep pills. Took them for a week and I dont feel I need them right now. Started to sleep better and high sensitivity to heartbeat became less problem. I still feel it, but its not disturbing me like before.
The doctor said basically same things as . It is normal to feel own heartbeat and feel like your hands and legs are shaked by each pulsation, especially if you are HSP that suffers from lack of sleep and depression/anxiety. And its normal even if it makes falling asleep harder. So everything is fine, just annoying.
How do you connect with it?
I will see doctor first as you suggested. I have almost not slept lately so will go there anyway. I feel like I need whole hospital or Im gonna die soon. In this condition I usually want to run away from everyone, but I need to get things done. I want out.
Thank you again.
I wonder. Do you tend to feel your heartbeat? It was said to be normal from time to time, yet personally I feel it almost all the time. And blood pumping in my neck, arms, legs, head.
Did you have or do you have something similar? And what do you know about this?
Thank you <3
There is many kinds of these articles in web. Those were one of first I checked when I just got familiar with empaths and who they are. Personally for me its :
Others happened too, but not very often. So I don't think they are my actual types.
It works for me when I don't think about it mostly. During these times I seem to accept that I was sensing it, when its successful. Like in that ball example. I walk at the edge of forest, then turn my head to left and walk a bit in left direction and stand, then even more left, few steps. After that I turn around and ball is there is bushes behind me.
When I think about it and analyze that "it could most likely be there". I just consider it as lucky guess.
I don't think I can feel peoples physical pain on distance. I mean when someone hits his finger with hammer -I do twitch and act like someone spooked me, startled me. Mostly I feel something in back of my neck when this happening, some kind of tension and also in my chest. Inside my chest I also feel a bit, like I winds blown out everything out of there and its empty for a moment. But if you talk about do I feel same pain in finger -I am not sure. It usually comes to me later when I think about finger being hit by hammer. I think its more about that I imagine the pain other person has, not actually feel it. I think its more like with HSP, not empath. Yet again in that case I feel some kind "special attention" at my finger then. Like its some separate special body part.
About sensing pain in other people. I often was told that I sense it correctly with my hands. As I wrote you before -they are very hot...Even now I look at flat side of my hand and its more red, not normal skin color. When I shake hands of other people -their hands are almost always colder. I met only few people in my life who had same temperature of hands like mine. And I really enjoy touching cold hands or objects. My friends and my mother was telling me that I sense exactly where they got pains on shoulders or back. I do it by hovering my hands close to body and try to find spots that are different from others. Sometimes they are colder, sometimes hotter, sometimes I just feel that I must put my hand here. I really cant say if this is actually true or not. But its like this.
I don't remember something like that with TV shows, unless I heard answers I need to lock and pick up intuitively right one. That happened often.
But sometimes I just know stuff out of nowhere. Like when something breaks I just find correct spot easily where damage is. Or solving some puzzles without thinking at all very fast, of course the more complicated they are -the more time it takes. Or when kids play ball and kick it somewhere in forest, then they come to me to ask for help to find it I walk straight to that ball and find it without any directions told. But it happens sometimes, not all the time. I do often hear people say "How did you knew it/this/those were over there?" or "How did you find it?" or "Where did you learned that from?".
And thank you for all your replies <3
I don't go to churches at my own will. Went there only as a part of some road trip in another cities or countries, or when I had to with class. I don't believe in god (and don't want to discuss this topic). And every single time I remember since childhood -churches always affected me in bad way. I am not me in there, constantly like I am troubled, start acting weird because I just sense not right stuff.
Good that it passed. Wish we could help you somehow, but there was so many options personally for me to pick from to suggest something.
About what you wrote. Its really oki. Though I see sense in sentences, yet unable to compile it to something whole. When I read it -there is just too many questions coming to my mind. Did I understood it right or it means something else.
Maybe I just need to sleep. Its 2:50 here lol
I still dont think this is issue with @spiritualskies . I sense its something different if taking into account all details that are given. Neither multiple grounding, salt bath or cord cutting ritual helped.
Is there a topic on forum with everything that empaths can use to help themselves? I mean like complete list with all gathered experience?
That why this reference is so close. And I met people suffering from it a lot, helped them. The difference it, that when narc or any other energy vampire is done -they leave only one gift for you, the only one they can give -emptiness. They give you -nothing. From that emptiness it is able to recover when you move aside to something new and accept what they did in previous, not to let them do it again in "new" you. While black hole narcs have stays in the center of their chest all the time, in their emptiness.
But here I think we talk about different thing. Its not about soul sucking narc. More like being sucked and stuck in that black holes "event horizon". Something pulls you, something you cant see with eyes on dark background of black matter. And people here want options to get released from it. It does not have to be narcissist. Can be anyone.
Salt baths did not help, grounding, cord cutting ritual either. What other options there can be to stop this strange connection? Time? Right thoughts? Deep self exploration?
And from issues people write here I get a feeling, that people here really don't like to open up. Because its personal. But the benefit of forum is, that we don't know each other in real life. Does it not give you feeling of being more at ease? The more details is given -the easier it is to find correct solution. Like with meds...Doctor always ask his patient lots of questions, takes samples and checks you before giving recipe for correct method of treating something. You cant suggest something you are not sure about, makes you bad doctor.
Empaths are great and understanding listeners. If it is personal and you cant tell it and open up. What if this is the issue, you need to tell? Helped me in many cases personally, opening up to correct person. Shared bad stuff -is half bad stuff. And its alright to open up. If nowhere else -then here.
I really wish we would talk more about this, but not here. Because this topic is not about what we are talking about now and basically right now we are burying issues of two people here who seek help. Further more I wish those messages would be moved into some other topic.
We can talk in another topic about this or in PMs. But I see it as wrong and rude to continue it here.
Yes. I know well how empath-narc relationship goes. Actually its how I became aware. Narcissism projection, which made me look for the topics about narcissist, because if I got even something common -I want it away. In these topics I stumbled across word "Empath", read about it and pointed finger at screen while saying to myself "Hey...That is me O_O, the empath ". And then "Hey! This is exacltly how our relationship went O_O ".
And how you described it too...Crawl out from depression...I even lost job, though Im happy that I did, because it was a terrible place for HSP. After I lost it -next day I at least felt that I can breathe, not just force my every breath.
But this topic is not about this and about me ehe So I will stop.
Simply put. It means exactly that. I use this reference myself too in same cases. Furthermore we all feel this blackhole in ourselves too from time to time. The difference is that people release it and push it away to not feed something that never gets enough and thus get better, heal themselves. This is what narcissist and toxic, energy vampires cant do. They are unable to release and set free that black hole inside them at all or not by themselves.
But as I mentioned it can also reference something you got sucked in and cant get out. Once you get into specific point in black hole, into so called "event horizon" -you cant get out of it anymore. You want to get out -but you cant. Not normally by yourself.