Forum Activity for @krosskelt

11/02/17 04:31:37PM
32 posts

Random thoughts


Claircognizance or clear knowing. Many of us show some talent in several of the Clair abilities. I also have this, I told my wife she was pregnant both times before she knew or showed any signs. Just random stuff most of the time though. You should really look into all the Clair abilities.
09/26/17 06:51:53PM
32 posts

Push Me, Pull You


Thank you.  

09/23/17 01:21:05PM
32 posts

Living in a small town


I grew up in a small town like Zach, pop 250. Also like him I felt a lot of back stabbing and hypocrites.
I've been in large cities and it is great to feel all the energy, in short visits, but longer stays start to bring me down.
I live in a city about 20k pop, and it has been a fair balance. Country near a big city would kinda sound appealing.
09/22/17 02:33:49PM
32 posts



Do you know where you have been?

Do you know where you are?

Do you know where you are going?

I’ve been lost.

Sunk in despair

Drowned in remorse

Held hostage by hate

Frozen by doubt

Dizzied by greed

Baited by jealousy

Mugged by anger

Deceived by pride


“Why me?”

Through it all….

I tried to pass blame.

I’ve been found.

Laying in a field alone

Hiding in my blanket of darkness

First just one light

Then two and three

Warmth in the cold

Bright in the dark

With each new light

Weapons were gained

Helmet of content

Chestplate of charity

Shield of love

Sword of joy

Boots of hope

Restored with friendship

The path was still not clear

But I’m no longer alone

I’ve been led to this point

Am I expected to lead from here?

09/22/17 12:07:09PM
32 posts

Push Me, Pull You


Push Me, Pull You

What else can You do?

Defends, Deflects

Just feel Affects.

Ground and Shield

Don’t want it Revealed

See Me, Saw You

Did you enjoy the view?

Absorb, Ignore

Is this what You’re for?

Sense and Learn

Sit back and Discern.

Hold Me, Hug You

When We are Blue.

Heal and Bring Up

It will fill Your Cup.

Open, Caring

Should be Sharing

You’re Me, I’m you

Together we Renew.

Hold Me, Hug you

The Hurt We Undo.

See Me, Saw You

In us Spirit Grew.

Push Me, Pull You

Nothing We can’t Do.

09/22/17 11:09:26AM
32 posts

Spidey sense being pinged


Unless your sister does not have any minutes on her phone, and you have no friends or family that live close to check on her.

09/22/17 06:11:55AM
32 posts

Questions on how YOU experience vibes/energy...


I feel energy much in the same way you do.  

When I was a teenager, and noticed I was sensing people's emotions, I formed my outer bubble my sensing field.  Depending on my mood it is anywhere from 3-5 feet that I am fairly clear with.  My next layer I consider a shield.  This layer is only a foot or so from the surface of my skin, anybody that invades that area it is difficult to keep them out.  Finally I consider my last layer of shielding the armor that sits right on my skin.  If touched it is impossible to keep somebody out.  In my mind's eye these all carry a shade of blue, each slightly darker than the rest.

I can take my armor and shielding down, but I can't take down the sensing bubble.  I can expand it to fill a room.  Also like you enclosed spaces seem to reflect and trap, plus being inside is always harder than being close to people outside anyway.  

The physical feeling I get, when making a connection, starts with a tingle at the top of my crown and the stronger it comes through the tingle works down by skull, neck, then down my arms.  If really strong my whole upper body and head will tingle.  I don't pick up other electromagnetic energy though.  

You might find this interesting Science of the Heart There was another I liked better but can't find it right now.

I have always wondered how another empath might feel me, and how I might feel them in person.  I too am finding myself surprising people when I walk up on them.  I think some of that has to do with us knowing how to keep our own energy tight.


09/21/17 03:12:20PM
32 posts

Spidey sense being pinged


That is all some great advice.  Thank you for sharing it with us.  It is just going down the list of family and friends to check on that is off putting.  Sometimes by going down the list "are you okay?" I run into some distractions from the initial ping.  

I have some decent cord cutting techniques that work for me.  I've been dealing with these situations for well over 20 years.  I used to have issues with sense of self, not knowing what was my own and what came from outside.  I use techniques, where I inspect each questionable emotion now, and am able to identify if it is mine or not, much easier than when I was a teen or in my twenties.  I'm also usually able to tell when somebody is siphoning my energy, so I only allow people to remain corded if they do not.  (or if I've decided 

There are certain people I like to leave cords to though, my wife, kids, and a few select family and friends.  Of those people only a couple know that I call myself an empath.  Those couple I've explained and demonstrated my abilities to them enough where they should understand.  Until a couple years ago I admitted this to nobody and tried to deny it to myself.  So interactions that could be purposefully trying to use it is still fairly new to me.  I have had people accidentally abuse it in the past and had to be cut.

If it is what I call a real emergency, they may not be an ability for them to call me. Like my grandmother who lives in the country by herself, or my sister the drug addict that may not have minutes on her phone.  These are reasons I leave cords to them. Somebody else might tell me what happened down the road, then I will feel like I slacked off on my duty.  I feel they should only try to purposefully use it in an emergency, they can call or text me for casual "I need a shoulder."  

I was just trying to decide, if I found them abusing it knowingly, would I talk to them about it or cut the cord completely.  Worried if I talk to them about it, and they were doing it unknowingly, they might figure out how to do it purposefully.  Decided if that was the case they are not a friend and the cord should be cut.  It turned out not to be who I thought though, and I had already checked on the other person that knows so the search continues.

09/21/17 12:45:54PM
32 posts

Spidey sense being pinged


My spidey sense was going off this morning. It wasn't directing me to who, but somebody on one of my cords was in emotional distress. I hate tracking these things down. I used to think it was kinda fun to figure it out, now most of the time I'm just "okay who now?" Then I think that is no way to be and start tracking it down. "You okay?"

Sometimes I run into a bunch of minor problems and never find the source of the original ping, or it will be days later and somebody will tell me they were upset or whatever on that day.  I like when it directs me to who is sending the ping out, I am able to clear the notification so to speak and resolve the issue if I can.

It took me awhile to figure it out today.  I haven't verified that it is who I believe, but if it is the person I believe it raises a few questions.  It is a sense they need a shoulder to vent on, not serious distress but somebody really needs a friend today.  Is it fair for somebody, who knows in a fair amount of detail how you work, to ping you like that?  They know if they message me I will be there for them at any time.  They could be testing me, which I would have thought we were past that point.  It is quite possible that they didn't purposely direct it at me, but they know I'm their person when they need a friend.

I suppose the thing that bothers me is, if they used the ping purposefully, it seems more urgent and like it is something I'm supposed to do guided by spirit.  When it should be something that I'm offered as a normal friend.

updated by @krosskelt: 09/21/17 12:46:19PM
09/14/17 06:37:19AM
32 posts




I stand here now looking back on where I have been

The road took twists and turns

Sometimes barely visible or grown over

I kept putting one foot in front of the other

I have seen amazing things

Waded through sadness

Fought through anger

Hid in the dark

Ran for my life

Climbed over greed

Danced in Joyous rain

Slept under stars of Love

I stand here now looking at where I am

The fields are wide and welcoming

The water is clear and refreshing

Life seems to be swarming all over

I am so tired from coming this far

It seems like a fine place to rest for awhile

Maybe I could build a house and stay

We could get off the path and just be…

I am told it is not the time yet

I don’t have to travel alone anymore

If I lead they will follow

If I listen they will guide

I stand here now looking at the horizon

Snow capped mountains before me

But I realize my destination is not the top

Where I am going is far beyond

Like the wind I will blow mightily up and over

Like the water I will meander and make my own path

Like the earth I will hold strong and plow through

Like the fire I will glow with a heat people won’t believe

I can’t see the end of the road

I don’t fear the trials ahead

I will rejoice in the little things

I will put one foot in front of the other

09/13/17 07:21:00AM
32 posts

What can I do with my "Psychic" Abilities


I used to think I was strictly an empath.  This was before joining with others and finding out that being an empath is actually being part of the clair family.  Many of us have found that we have or can develop other clair/psychic abilities and are not limited by the title empath.  I feel that we all fall under the general intuitive umbrella.

There are lots of healing techniques you can learn.  Reiki is one of the more popular paths, but start researching on your own.  Do google searches for energy healing, and find something that rings true with your higher self.

Healing by directly working with other's energy seems to be a stretch of my abilities and not my path.  I can be very good at emotional healing on the other hand, by being a friend, counselor, and/or confidant.  I can have a sense of claircognizance, and be able to help them down a path that might lead to healing.  Each of us has different blends of abilities, some we are naturally stronger in than others, some we can learn to be better at, and some may not be withing your particular set of abilities.  

Experiment, explore, and most of all read everything you can.  There are lots of opinions, books, blogs, and many other resources out there.  Something that rings true for me and my path, might not for you.  Here is a pdf link that lists some of the general clair abilities.  The-8-Clair-Senses-a-visual-guide-to-the-spiritual-psychic-senses.pdf

updated by @krosskelt: 09/13/17 07:24:57AM
09/12/17 02:23:43PM
32 posts

Book idea/suggestions


So I like to write.  I'm not the best with grammar and spelling, fortunately computers help a lot in that area.  Mostly in the past it has been poems, speeches (that I write/outline but are never spoken), and just random things.  A few years ago I started writing a book.

The book I started was/is a seedy romance.  I have around 8-9 chapters roughed out.  Like I said I started it two years ago and then shared it with a group of people.  One of the readers was the first person I formed a long distance clear full time empathic connection with.  This caused a lot of confusion for me and my relationship of what it meant to form that type of connection.  Ultimately this caused my reawakening, coming out as an empath to my wife and a few close friends, and my wife in turn helped me find the EC.

So wrote on the book for a month or two after my reawakening, and put it away to move onto other things that I felt were more pressing.  I opened it up again a month or two ago, and want to start writing it again.  Although I'm thinking of taking it in a slightly different direction.

The main character is an Empath.  His abilities are a fictionalized version of what I myself am capable of, or the abilities of others I have spoken to.  Original plot is main character eventual meets his twin flame, and saves her from a narcissist who was trying to press her into marriage.  

There are several reasons I feel I want to write this book.  One reason is I want to put "Empath" out there more, even if some of the abilities are slightly fictionalized.  We have lots of self help books on empaths and sensitives, I thought it would be nice for a romance/fiction story.  As most writers do, I want to live vicariously through my character in a way.  I hope that maybe an unrealized empath/sensitive might read it and might start wondering, opening their path and maybe ultimately lead them somewhere like here to interact with others like them.

So I'm thinking about changing the current plot.  Expanding on it to include several types of relationships, working with energy, and becoming more balanced.  I may turn it into an e-book series, and need to start younger in the main character's life.  

What are your thoughts, ideas, and concerns?

updated by @krosskelt: 09/12/17 04:22:44PM
09/12/17 06:34:57AM
32 posts

Projecting Emotions


@snap Yes I have read some on Hermeticism, in my early twenties.  I was trying to fill a hole I had with religion.  I don't remember much, most of my current beliefs are pieces from many of my studies that rang true in higher self.  I found that no one religion rings true to me on it's own.  

09/08/17 04:50:56AM
32 posts

The Light


This is one of my favorites. Anytime I fall off track I come back to it, also the one I'm drawn to share the most.
09/08/17 04:47:34AM
32 posts

I See You


Thanks. Not sure I can take all the credit. Funny how all my writings have always been targeted at empaths. Most of the ones I've shared here came right after my reawakening. This one kinda fell on the paper. I don't mind taking credit for the ones I had to work on, but this one was given to us.
09/07/17 08:58:03AM
32 posts

Projecting Emotions


@Zen-angel  No I think it is good to hear how strongly some feel about this topic.  When I was just starting out, I mentioned here one time that when I was down how I liked to be around people that were up and full of energy and joy.  I said something that suggested maybe I was soaking up or taking their energy.  Others spoke up about how unethical it is to take ones energy unless you asked them to share it with you.  It made me think about a lot of stuff.  I have read through several of your posts and replies and think you always have a good addition to the community or conversation.  I'm a warrior empath though, stand up for the little guy and what not.  Also I didn't have a group or other sensitives with experience to help me on my path from 14-35, and had to learn, experiment, and learned to "control" my empathy on my own, so I encourage a more natural and free approach to letting one work out what works for them and what they are capable of.  

Your point of view is valid and valued, I have just experienced things differently which makes me approach it differently.  Like I said, I believe we are in agreement, just comes through for each of us based on how we have seen and dealt with it.

09/07/17 08:20:58AM
32 posts

Projecting Emotions


@Zen-angel  I didn't feel that saying "NO! You're bad! Get back in the corner!" was appropriate for a newly discovered empath.  I felt that maybe letting them know the difference between letting emotions roll out from you, and pushing them onto somebody, was a good idea.  I feel that maybe a lot of people don't know how to control, what I call, projecting.  I feel that pushing emotions is wrong in most cases, and believe that I said that without scolding.  

I don't see an ethical issue with allowing your emotions to flow around you.  Some empaths have even been able to shield themselves without expending the energy to actively shield.  Just by letting there own emotions fill the space around them.  Most people that are not as sensitive as us have no understanding of how their emotions affects themselves, let alone how to control them from flowing out.  I do believe that everybody, sensitives or not can learn to recognize when they are pushing their emotions though.  

I understand free will VERY well.  I have been in the fight with sense of self for well over 25years.  Emotions effect me, and I had to learn to be able to sort through and determine what was me and what was somebody else.  I don't blame people for feeling, I don't blame them for allowing their sadness, joy, pain, or whatever to flow out.  I do blame them when they pushed that on me however.  I understand that even positive emotions can have a negative effect on some, but I am not going to let that keep me from letting my positive emotions flow out around me.  That is their issue and not mine.  

My wife likes me to wear a certain cologne.  Not everybody is going to like that scent. It makes me feel good, because I can feel that little added bit of desire or whatever from my wife.  Other peoples problems with the cologne is not going to stop me from wearing it.  Yes if it was to cause a problem with somebody I had to be around all day, I would not wear it during those times.  In that situation it would be up to the other person to inform me that it bothers them so I could reign it in.  

I feel like we are in agreement, but our communication styles are not compatible.  

09/07/17 07:00:00AM
32 posts

Projecting Emotions


 Womanwhowalks said that we all project, and I would have to agree.  It is something that is natural and is used for communication.  

Projecting to me is allowing your emotions to surround you, people can take it or not.  Some people can bundle all their emotions and pack them away fairly tidy.  These people, it is difficult to tell their true emotions, either they are blank or only showing what they want you to see.  Other people it just flows out around them and surrounds them like a gas, to me these are projectors in the general sense.  Then there are people who actively attempt to push and change your emotions to match their's, some knowingly and others semi-accidental.  

The definition, to me, between projecting and pushing are important.  A speaker, salesman, healers, and many others project and that is okay.  They put emotions out there and hope that you pick up on them.  When those same people try and push those emotions on you usually don't take.  It makes you feel dirty and one tends to feel the opposite of what was intended.  Somebody projecting trust you can take it or leave it, somebody pushing trust makes you question why they push it so bad.  

I can think of very few situations where pushing would be an acceptable practice.  I cared for individuals with mental and physical disabilities for almost 10 years.  I had one person I cared for that had H Pylori, he was unable to communicate other than a few words or phrases.  When he was having a flair up, he would scream for days, self harm, and just run himself and the staff to their limits.  I would push calm, not project because he was in no situation to pick up on it.  They had a restraint procedure, but I didn't use it.  I was able to keep him pushed down to a level where he could eat small amounts and maybe even rest for short periods.  If one is in pain or hysteria of some type, I feel it is okay to push at that point to calm them.  Not many other situations do I see pushing appropriate.  

Projecting yes, project away.  Let your light shine, just don't go burning people with the flame.

09/06/17 07:51:46PM
32 posts

Projecting Emotions


There is a fine line between what might be ethical or appropriate when pushing emotions. We have felt people do it and know how it can feel. Transmuting negative to positive can be one thing. Pushing an emotion on somebody usually only lasts until they realize it is not theirs.
Let us say it is love and lust you push. Any relationship formed from that point will have a high risk of failure, because that person wasn't allowed to form those emotions about you on their own. Eventually they will question that emotion, and may decide they never felt that way on their own. I've dealt with a few strong projectors, a few I suspected even had a vague idea of what they were actually doing. Most had no clue they were projecting so strongly.
I don't want to discourage you in experimenting, I've done my fair share. Just be sure you also take into account the long term. I'm sure there is a Stan Lee quote I could throw in here. Just think about what you would want if somebody had that influence over you. For me, sometimes, I would rather people keep most of their emotions and let me have my own. Everybody likes sharing joy, and unfortunately sadness is supposed to be shared (don't go pushing it though of course), and others I don't mind sharing. I just don't enjoy them being pushed.
09/05/17 07:27:23AM
32 posts

The Light


Thanks.  I'm working on a few new pieces

09/01/17 05:53:12AM
32 posts

The Light


The Light

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine, let it shine….

Something so simple yet profound.

In the darkness I am found.

I used to feel that I had no choice

That nobody would listen to my voice

Protect and shield was my way

Hiding from the pain of day

Quite certain this was my plight

To go about life with no sight

Fear and Anger lead my life

Causing not but only strife

Thinking I was alone and lost

One day I finally paid the cost

It was in me burning bright

Trapped there was my light

Knowing now that I am one

I feel it burning like the sun

I was meant to share it wide

Not push it deep down inside

We just have to give up the fight

Courage and love feeds our might

If you listen you too can hear

He will help you lose the fear

I am you and you are me

Together now we can see

Balance and faith we must gain

Then we can release the pain

We are here to be bold

Embrace each other in the cold

08/31/17 01:58:53PM
32 posts

I See You


I see You

I wonder if they see what we do

If they could see through my eyes

Would they see the hate and lies

Is it what I feel that makes it seen

Not sure if I can show you what I mean

Some don’t look close enough to see

Other’s so close they can’t let it be

Maybe you will be one that learns The Sight

With it you will also learn that truth is a fight

Those that are blind never will admit

Those that see choose not to commit

In the dark we must hold hands and lead

Joined together the trapped can be freed

It is okay to let your pain and hurt show

In your heart you must learn to let it go

The battlefield will be deep in your mind

Your own path you are tasked to find

The path may be blocked or not clear

You must keep moving through the fear

If you could see what I see

What would you see in me

08/30/17 08:50:46PM
32 posts

A Higher Calling


So tired…

Just want to close my eyes

Drift to that world void of lies

Where I can swim in thin air

Where things seem to be fair

This world keeps calling

I seem to just keep falling

Lay my head in the grass

Time eternal allowed to pass

Sleeping while seasons change

To me nothing is strange

This world keeps calling

I seem to just keep stalling

On my head grows a lotus

Bearly awake I hardly notice

How long I’ve been here unknown

Covered in growth, body not shown

This world keeps calling

I seem to just keep bawling


This isn’t me who is he

You have things to be

Don’t just lay there get up

Listen while I fill your cup

This world keeps calling

Your perception keeps falling

Answer and fulfill your duty

Choose to see the beauty

Awaken and now is the time

To avoid would be a crime

This world keeps calling

Did you choose to be stalling

The plan has always been

In you I am always within

The world has very few choices

Just follow me and the voices

This world keeps calling

You must keep brawling

08/30/17 05:54:00AM
32 posts

My Journey


My Journey

Born to a world of strife

This is the story of my life

Turbulent waters I was born

Father left and forever shorn

Mother with two young boys

Pain all her heart employs

A man makes her whole again

Together family they then begin

Time spent on Grandparents farm

Where I’m taught to do no harm

A change occurred early on

Pushed and pulled like a pawn

In my teens I was more confused

Confidence and ego surely bruised

Dad filled with work frustration

Anger caused our degradation

Life is surely now a fight

Turned to God for his light

Found a girl to hold dear

Pushed away by her fear

Lost and alone I was dropped

Hopes and dreams now popped

Only in friendship I was found

Like brothers we were bound

Confidence and joy first time gained

A woman, my wife preordained

Our hearts began to mesh and weave

A family we together would achieve

What I was, still hidden from all

The things I feel behind my wall

Something I wrapped and tucked away

The words were too hard for me to say

Something inside me felt alone

The thing I did not want shown

Out of nowhere it was pushed out

Made clear to all there was no doubt

Guided my whole life from above

No more subtle hints just a shove

Shown the things that I had endured

Told for a reason, the voice assured

Given direction where once I was lost

More than willing to accept the cost

Rewards of Joy and Love in return

My light is for all to see it burn

08/29/17 09:02:41AM
32 posts

Feeling Lost


I have difficulties balancing real world responsibilities and my journey with spirit.  It seems the more time I spend with one the other suffers.  After the birth of my first child I went into this mode of "buckling down and doing what it took."  My spirit journey and in essence my empath was shoved down and I attempted to forget about them.  I thought I had so many other stresses in life that I just couldn't deal with them on top of that.  I also have never been one where money means much to me, so I showed a lot of indifference on financial matters.  Just before my reawakening we were in a rut.  Both my wife and I were severely depressed, mostly because she was terrible with money but did what we had to do to survive.  

After my reawakening, my indifference was gone.  I knew what needed to be done to get us out of our rut.  I took us from always being on the verge of losing our car, and living in run down mold infested rental houses, to owning our cars free and clear and closed on our first home the day after our 15th anniversary.  

After my awakening, I was so filled with spirit and so wanted to dive deeply into that journey.  I did for a few months, before setting my determination and focus on my goal of doing better for my family.  It took a lot of work and left very little room for spirit in that time.  Now that my major goals are reached, and my determination not so overwhelming, I am ready to follow my spirit journey again.  

I guess the point is that, as in everything, there is a balance.  You just need to find the levels that work for you to accomplish what is most important.  Without some level of spirit in my life I feel empty and hollow, but with too much focus on spirit and can't accomplish much on this plane.  

08/29/17 08:37:20AM
32 posts



Thanks I'll be sharing one a day for the next few days.

08/29/17 08:22:56AM
32 posts

Please Take An Empath Poll...


Late to the conversations but....

I am a night owl as most of you.  As mentioned ~10pm is when my family and house starts to settle down.  The time from then until 12-2am is usually spent in some type of reflection and decompression.  4-6 hours a night of sleep is the usual, if I get more than 8 I am more tired the next day.  I do like my naps though.  Either right after work on weekdays or around 2-3pm on the weekends.  

08/29/17 05:46:10AM
32 posts




The weight on my heart

not sure where to start

Tears begin to fill my eye

I’m not even sure why

Why can’t I see

Why can’t I let it be

My vision is blurred

I wonder if I’ve been heard

I open myself to the world

Energy around me swirled

Beautiful and bright

I can see the light

Why can’t I feel it in me

Why can’t I just be free

Storms brewing behind

I can feel it in my mind

I feel left out in the open

is something in me broken

Why can’t I find the key

Why can’t I just up and flee

I must be strong and brave

Find the feelings that I crave

I have to find a way

Just wish it was today

The way ahead is clear

I must release my fear

Why and how don’t matter

Nothing but empty chatter

The weight must be lifted

My thinking to be shifted

I open my heart

This is where I start

updated by @krosskelt: 08/29/17 06:37:32AM
08/28/17 03:18:01PM
32 posts




How can you ask this of me

There are others it should be

I have ignored and denied you

I once felt you forgot me too

A gift you have gave

A path you did pave

I struggle to find my way

Listening for what you might say

The road is overgrown

Lost or never known

I begin to build a tower

Soon to be final hour

The base I give all my coin

Passion I use to  join

Now going higher I build

more confidence I do wield

I feel the love in my spire

continuing up and even higher

My voice echoes over the land

I still can’t see from where I stand

Imagining what I’ll see at the top

Nearing the heavens I shall stop

Bliss reflects an image of me

A shining light for all to see

I now see the path you set

How big the wager you did bet

Your strength in me now renew

My faith in you tells me what to do

My heart’s song must be sung

Love’s bell must be rung

Fear and dark will be cast out

Light pushing out all other doubt

I will do what you have tasked

Knowing now what is asked

From all around us and above

I will embrace them with our love

Joy can be found once we are pure

Happiness abound that is sure

I long to feel again your grace

Warm and safe in your embrace

08/28/17 11:31:49AM
32 posts

New empath but old soul....I can't work it out


I used to only feel emotions strongly from others at short distances.  After my reawakening, 2 years ago, many things changed.  I have since formed strong connections with a few people at a distance.  They were people that I have never met in real life.  But spent a day or more going through every emotion that they had.  Even breathing synced with them at night.  Their desire for me to be the one that provided healing was what connected us.  Once that subsided the connection was easy to close.   

08/28/17 11:20:25AM
32 posts

I fear that if I love again , again I will love a Narcissist . How to end this cycle.



indigo-dog's #4. is one of the best pieces of advice that you might receive.  You need to take time to inspect the relationship deeper, before you let your own emotions form.  We, as empaths, get bulldozed sometimes.  Especially by emotions like lust and desire.  Notice I separate those two.  Lust is often a physical attraction, where desire can be a deep wanting for what you can offer.  One of the traps with a narcissist and empath relationship can be, we reflect what they want us to.  I feel that maybe you are attracted to them because they have a self confidence that maybe you are missing within yourself.  So in a way it is a parasitic relationship on both sides.  They want us to reflect their emotions, giving them a higher sense of self by validating those emotions.  We want to feel that high sense of self that they have, within and about ourselves.  The last part never happens though, because we are too busy feeding into their needs, and little if any of our own needs in a relationship are filled.  

When I meet my wife I was worried about letting lust and desire drive me into a relationship that may not be what was best for me at the time.  I felt desire the first night I met her.  I didn't know if it was mine or hers and could not tell.  By the third interaction I could feel the lust.  Still not knowing if it was hers, mine, or both.  I knew in the first week that I was capable of loving her, but could not feel love reflected.  By the end of the first month I could feel it in her, even though she was not ready to admit it.  

Learn to love yourself, don't let lust and desire drive you, and wait to feel that love you have shared between you both.  

08/28/17 10:48:04AM
32 posts

New empath but old soul....I can't work it out


I would be really interested to hear more of your story sometime.

Sense of self is something that I have fought with my whole life.  Is it me feeling this?  Do I want this, or does somebody want me to want this?  Before I came to know there were other people like me I had to form my own ways of dealing.  One of the main things to help me is just sitting down and inspecting each of my emotions.  I do this almost nightly, and sometimes I have to stop during the day to inspect something that seems pressing.  Pulling out the emotion and looking at it with my mind's eye.  Is this mine?  If not mine then who's?  Is there something I can do about that?  Sometimes just saying it is not mine is enough for it to go away.  Sometimes identifying who it is and what, if anything, I can do for them is what it takes before I can move on from that emotion.  

The second thing is shielding, grounding, and knowing your boundaries.  I would caution against shielding.  It was something that I self taught, and in essence became a crutch and energy drain for me.  While shielding may help one maintain some sense of self, it also keeps others at a distance and suppresses that which makes us who we are.  Eventually your empath is going to break that barrier down, no matter how much energy you devote to it.  You have to know your boundaries, and learn to love yourself.  If you feel that you are getting to deep, you need to take some time and ground yourself and build your reservoir again.  Sometimes having others to help share the burden helps too.