Shielding yourself

Empath

@crystalsage  I've lent and lost crystals in the past.  Some have even ran away, and one packed itself months before I moved.  They kinda get to choose where they go more than we do, so don't sweat it too much.

Transmuting energy is one of our main tasks as an empath.  Some of us doing in unknowingly by working in care professions or customer service.  "This energy is not mine, and belongs to the universe." can be a good mantra sometimes.  Just let it come and redirect it back to the universe is much easier than fighting against it.  

I spent the last week dealing with the energy of San Francisco.  As I said earlier the first few days I'm so filled with the energy of the city that the negative energy doesn't affect me that much.  I was up by 6 a.m. the first 3 days chomping at the bit to get going.  After that the disparity of so many, and attitudes of others, started to get to me.  I had to take some time away.  I spent most of a day walking through Golden Gate park, and another driving down Pacific Coast Highway.  Getting in nature and the views down the 1 worked well to get me grounded again.  Also Chinatown had some awesome crystal carvings, that if I had more room in my luggage and money I would have brought some home.  Next time for sure.

Shielding yourself

Empath

Really all shielding is, in my opinion, is holding an emotion strong enough to overcome the others hitting you.  Sometimes some people use anger as their shield.  Other's love, even anxiousness can be a shield if it makes you feel vigilant (not sure how to describe otherwise) in a some way.

I've been and lived in large cities.  The initial energy of the city is intoxicating to me, but after awhile that wears off and all the emotions wear on me.  I am going to San Francisco for a week, in two days, by the end the emotions of the people I'm going with, and the city, are going to have me wiped out.  So I understand your problem. 

I choose to live in a city of about 13k.  Between 10k-20k seems to be where I enjoy it the most.  I grew up in a town population 250 and sometimes you don't want to know everything about everybody around you.  It is better to wonder who it is coming from.  It also becomes hard to be around anybody because every situation involves old emotions, and what you don't read right off you are able to piece together from the emotional flow.  Sometimes it is more important that it is or isn't yours, but other's it is our job to know and act if we can.

One of my theories is that cats are better empaths than most beings.  That is why they are such jerks.  lol  "oh you want to be passive aggressive human.  Cats invented passive aggressive...amateur."  It want's to be around to transmute your energy, but not in your way right now b/c that isn't what you need.  Try leaving it's bowl empty for an extra hour if you miss the attention, or go to the bathroom and leave the door cracked by accident.

updated by @krosskelt: 03/28/18 06:21:49PM

Shielding yourself

Empath

Just a few of what I have

Shielding yourself

Empath

Yeah I use crystals.  I have a decent collection, some I carry, some in my desk at work, some in my cars stashed away in spots.  Others are better at identifying and working with.  Since others had covered it, I figured I would cover the parts that weren't covered.  

The ones I carry vary on how I feel and what pulls to me.  Rose quartz is one of the ones that draws most to me.  But here is a list of most of the different ones I carry:  Amethyst, Sodalite, Citrene, Black tourmaline, Amazonite, Moss agate, Flourite, Clear Quartz, Tiger's Eye, and smokey quartz.  Probably more I am forgetting or forgot the name of.  Another I carry and am strongly drawn to is Malachite, but one needs to be careful carrying it because it tends to teach you lessons fast.  I usually don't carry more than 4 stones on me at any given time.  

updated by @krosskelt: 03/28/18 02:34:35PM

Shielding yourself

Empath

Blocking and shielding definitely make me feel better when times are the worst.  Not shielding makes me feel better overall in the long run.  Grounding and clearing is the best way to go about, but I don't always have the time to stop and process it enough to do that.

Shielding yourself

Empath

I've dealt with shielding in a few different ways.  Some have worked well for me and some not so much.  Most of the methods have been covered by others above.

When I was in my teens, an alone and developing empath, I formed an outer bubble.  In my mind's eye it was a blue bubble that is about 4-5 feet from my body.  At first I thought it was a shield, but later found it more to work like a sensing bubble.  Most of the things outside of the bubble I can keep out from the inner me, but things inside are more difficult to block and shield from.

Later I formed a second layer that is only a foot or two from my skin.  The First outer sensing bubble, and this one vary in distance from me depending on how comfortable I am in the space and what kind of mood I personally am in.  I can fill the room with my sensing bubble if I want.  My inner shield blocks/filters most things enough to keep it from infecting my inner self.  I can feel and sense them but they don't become me.

If somebody was to touch me though, the likely hood of their emotions becoming my own would increase greatly.  After High School I moved to a much larger city, and found that it was more difficult to keep people out of my inner bubble, that was only a foot or two from my body.  So I formed an armor that encases my skin.  This works well to filter out what my inner bubble can't.  Stuff sometimes still gets through though.

That all described....it is a horrible way to go about things.  Shielding is all about keeping what we are in as much as it is about keeping what everybody else has out.  It takes a humongous amount of personal energy to maintain even simple shields.  I think of it like a rock in a river.  Yes everything has to get out of the way, but slowly you are wearing down and will be pushed away.  

After accepting what I am, becoming part of communities like this, and doing research on my own.  I came up with two methods.  One for getting through crowds, I send my energy forward and imagine it splitting the emotions like Moses parting the sea as I walk through.  And the other is just becoming transparent, it is like sensing the emotion and energy coming towards you and just releasing it immediately.  Doing so allows it to pass through you instead of try to redirect it other places or around you.  It takes some practice and you have to consciously do it as they come at first, but like walking it soon becomes second nature.  By becoming transparent, I have also reduced the amount of time I spend at night sorting emotions to see if they belong to me or if I picked them up through the day from others.

One last benefit of not shielding is you can fulfill your task as an empath easier.  You are not blocking or shielding, so you can notice, identify, and trace them back to who they belong easier...hopefully without them affecting you.  We are not supposed to block and shield, we are supposed to notice.  I still shield out of habit sometimes, and it can be difficult for me to take them down when I feel safe inside of them.  I try to do better though.

What's it like to be a balanced / developed empath?

Empath

I learned I was an empath in my mid-teens, now almost 40.  From that time until the birth of my first child I explored my abilities, formed shielding, and felt like I was "on my path".  After the birth of my child I became so involved in that, and trying to make a better life for us, that I didn't have time for my spiritual journey. 

I stuffed it all down in my abdominal area and suppressed it the best I could.  I still had symptoms and problems from being an empath, but I did my best to ignore them.  I ended up feeling like something was missing in my life though.

About 5 years ago all of it built up.  Financial, legal, work, friends growing distant....all problems, just stacking up against me.  I felt like I needed a connection.  In the process of making that, I made things worse.  Then boom!

I had what I call a reawakening one day.  All my "problems" of the past were laid out before me, and I was shown the reason for needing to go through all of it.  I was supposed to learn and experience each one of them.  The next 24hrs I had a "data download" period where information just compiled from nowhere.  Things of the past made sense, visions of the future, request from god/guides/spirit/gia came in.  Things about people in my life that I hadn't taken the time to notice were pointed out to me.

I "came out" to my wife as an empath for the first time in almost 20 years.  The first time to anybody really.  Once she understood what an empath was and read some definitions, I made so much more sense to her.  She helped me find groups like this one, and realize I wasn't alone. (alien origin still not counted out though)

Since then I have been stumbling down my path again on my spiritual journey.  I had the strength, knowledge, and drive to overcome all our financial, legal, and work issues.  Balanced most days, fall off sometimes, and developing still/always.

Lost again

Empath

I don't get it either.  My sister knows she deserves better.  I had to step back and let her decide that she is going to want better.  Everything I did, she seemed to just absorb the attention but took no action on her words.  She has had plenty of people willing to assist her out of the situation.

I worry that it is a negative attention is still attention thing.  Sometimes a loving significant other will not give you as much attention as an abusive S.O..  They are constantly in everything....so they must love you right?  They just have this one thing wrong with them, and it is only because.........he's going to get help.

I dunno just a theory.

updated by @krosskelt: 01/29/18 07:04:25PM

Lost again

Empath

I understand your situation.  My sister has been in on again off again relationship, and has alienated her family.  Partly because he does the typical abusive SO thing and tries to isolate her from her friends and family, and partly because she has lied so many times, had so many opportunities to get away, and keeps going back by her own choice.

I don't know what to do.  There has been so many times I have wanted to do the big brother thing, but I would end up in jail.  If you feel threatened or harassed, I would suggest turning it over to law enforcement.   You should not have to put up with that as a person, from anybody, for any reason.

You are not evil.  You are letting somebody else's emotions control your actions...something we should be used to.  You are being a friend, a decent human, and a protector for those that you feel can not protect themselves.  Don't feel bad for feeling those things, but be smart about how you let those feelings control your actions.

I´m almost constantly depressed

Empath

We are here, and I truly feel your situation.  I think you need to talk to a professional though.  It will really help trust me.

Is depersonalization disorder connected to empathy?

Empath

I've never felt this on my own, but I've read about empaths who have.  Due to it being during stressful times, I've always wondered if it was some kind of defensive mechanism.  Spirit self trying to separate and disassociate with physical self.  

Who is this person I see?

Is it you? Is it me?

Who am I supposed to be?

Do I stay? Do I flee?

Problems seem folded three

Ego stuck to some degree

Body hollow like a tree

Spirit crying "Set me free!"

Cast all doubt into the sea

Without fear we agree

To make One is the key

I am you and you are me

Who am I?

Empath

Crowds do bother me, make me anxious, make me tired from combating everybody's emotions from affecting me.  I used to wear masks, and I suppose I still do at work.  I try to project positive joyous energy at work.  In a way using an emotion that you feel is one of your strongest can be a good way of shielding.  Some people do it with joy and some do it with anger.  Work is about the only place I wear a mask any more though, and that is only because I still have to deal with customers directly.  I am conformable enough around my friends and family to show my true self....well to a point.  I am very selective on who I tell I am an empath.  Even though I've known since I was a teen, I held onto it for 20+ years and have only told people the last few years.

The question of if you should hide or not is one you have to make on your own.  If you show it too much you can attract undesirable people who want to use it and you.  If I hide mine too much it feels like I have not been fulfilling my duty.

I think you are on the right path.  Don't rush it, or get frustrated because you don't feel your journey is moving fast enough for you.  Everything happens for a reason, it may not be clear to you in the moment or anytime soon, but at some point all the events in your life will make sense.  The pain you have been through, the difficulties you have faced, and the obstacles you over come are there to teach you something...sometimes the thing you are to learn is nothing more than patience.  Try not to dwell on the past or dread the future, and learn to live in the moment.  Keep reading and researching, it helped me so much.  

Who am I?

Empath

Ya again don't worry so much about labeling yourself.  In my opinion a HSP is just an empath waiting to become fully aware.  Blocked by something that is not allowing them their full sense of abilities.  

I don't feel you are a narcissist.  I think you just have some understandable situations causing you to be unbalanced, doubts, and insecurities.  We are also chameleons, which if we use it knowingly can help us blend into groups and crowds well.  But if we don't monitor it we can pick up mannerisms and traits of others.  One of the things about the narcissist empath relationship is the narcissist will gather empaths and press them into doing their dirty work and feed the narcissist's ego.  This happens a lot in teens and young adults.  A narcissist will become the leader of a group and gather people he/she can push their emotions on.  You spoke of being picked on then you became more passive aggressive.  This could have been a combination of conforming to the emotions you felt others express and your ego starting to try and edge in your own self importance. 

I'm telling you man.  Meditate.  Look up several youtube meditations and find one that works for you.  I tend to do the chakra clearing, grounding, and ones pertaining to spirit guides for guided meditation.  Celtic, classical, and mostly instrumental music is what I use for personal reflection and general meditation back ground.

A question about the people around you, or even the relationship you just left.  Is it possible that one of the people you are connected with is draining you?  Energy vamps are a real thing, but so is depression.  Either can cause some of the symptoms you have described.  Cord cutting can help reduce if there is an energy vamp, but only a professional can help if you have your own depression.

I'm nearly 40 now, and have known I was an empath since I was in my early teens.  I've developed some of my own techniques to help me with sense of self and determining what emotions are my own, and what I've picked up throughout the day.  At the end of the day, after my kids and wife have went to bed, I sit and sort things out.  Sometimes I'm on the computer, sometimes playing video games, reading a book, meditating, or maybe just watching TV.  The important thing is I'm alone, and the people nearest to me have settled into "sleep mode" with their emotions.  During this time I think about each emotion I am holding onto.  In my mind's eye I pull it out and look at it.  I ask myself "is this my emotion?  Do I have a reason to feel this way?"  If not then it belongs to somebody else.  Sometimes just saying it is not mine is enough for it to be resolved.  Sometimes I have to place it with the person it belongs before I can let go of it.  Yet other times I have to make a decision of if there is anything I can do to help that person so they can move past, before I can move past it.  If it is my emotion then I have to decide if it is one I want to keep, or how I can work past it on my own.  

I am working on a poem that would be fitting to this conversation, and I believe what your feelings are.  Since it is not quite done though maybe this one will do.

The Light

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine, let it shine….

Something so simple yet profound.

In the darkness I am found.

I used to feel that I had no choice

That nobody would listen to my voice

Protect and shield was my way

Hiding from the pain of day

Quite certain this was my plight

To go about life with no sight

Fear and Anger lead my life

Causing not but only strife

Thinking I was alone and lost

One day I finally paid the cost

It was in me burning bright

Trapped there was my light

Knowing now that I am one

I feel it burning like the sun

I was meant to share it wide

Not push it deep down inside

We just have to give up the fight

Courage and love feeds our might

If you listen you too can hear

He will help you lose the fear

I am you and you are me

Together now we can see

Balance and faith we must gain

Then we can release the pain

We are here to be bold

Embrace each other in the cold

Who am I?

Empath

Okay I think I get what you are asking.  First of all don't worry about labels so much, most narcissist are not going to stop and ask if they are or not.  If you are worried about it, even if you have some narcissistic tendencies, it means that you care enough to not be a full narcissist.  To me a sensitive and an empath are just slightly different breeds of the same animal.

Do you meditate?  I would suggest that you find some grounding and chakra opening meditations that work good for you.  For empaths and sensitives it is important to ground, then balance your energy.  Once you do that you will find that you are less affected by the energies around you.  Right now I feel that a lack in one area of your energy draws energy to you like a vacuum.  

Gems and crystals can help some people.  Shielding techniques can too.  I understand your feeling of being disconnection or a loss of a sense though.  I get this when I consume alcohol.   At first it dulls my empathic senses, but then I feel like a deaf bat in a cave that can't find my way out.  I have gotten so used to having that extra sense there to guide me in daily interactions.  Who is good?  Who is bad?  Who is sad?  Who is in pain?  These answers were usually given to me through my empath side and I don't have to give it much thought normally.  Again you should focus on grounding and balancing your own energies and not use the crystals and shields as crutches.  

We can loose sense of self fairly easily if we let other's emotions control us.  I think a lot of you difficulties have been ego in your way.  Look up letting go of ego.  It is an easy idea, but can be hard in practice.  Almost every time that I find myself unhappy about something, when it is my own emotion and not picked up from somebody/somewhere, ego is at the root of it.

Are you an open book or not?

Empath

Thanks.  I am glad that it resonated with you.  I have always wondered the things that you are asking.  I've done photo readings and been read in photos before, but never knowing been in the presence of another empath.  Always wondered what they would sense.  

I have several of my poems in the "Arts" section of the forum if you would like to check them out.  

Are you an open book or not?

Empath

I see You

I wonder if they see what we do

If they could see through my eyes

Would they see the hate and lies

Is it what I feel that makes it seen

Not sure if I can show you what I mean

Some don’t look close enough to see

Other’s so close they can’t let it be

Maybe you will be one that learns The Sight

With it you will also learn that truth is a fight

Those that are blind never will admit

Those that see, choose not to commit

In the dark we must hold hands and lead

Joined together the trapped can be freed

It is okay to let your pain and hurt show

In your heart you must learn to let it go

The battlefield will be deep in your mind

Your own path you are tasked to find

The path may be blocked or not clear

You must keep moving through the fear

If you could see what I see

What would you see in me

I'm so suicidal right now

Empath

Paul is right.  We are all always here for you, but you really should talk with a professional.  You may not think there is anything they can do for you, but there is.  Love and light to you

Should I tell him more?

Empath

My wife and I were married for 12 years before I told her.  I knew what I was and what it was called since I was in my teens, but didn't share with anybody.  I would have to say any many ways my marriage suffered.  I would also like to say that I don't think my wife would have been ready to hear it until she did.  I think the only reason she was able to understand was from all the experiences she had with me, and when I explained being an empath, and what I go through daily she was able to tally up all the experiences and see how it could be nothing other than true.  I didn't lie to her prior to that, I just skated the complete truth.  I would tell her things like, "I'm just tired" or "just a stressful day."  Which are true and how most people perceive the weight of their own and people around them's emotions.

It is not always a simple answer in my opinion, about if you should be completely open and honest in a relationship.  Since telling her, I've told a very select few.  Most people's initial response is...."okay Kelt has went a little south on us.  Is it intervention time?"  If they are able to get past that, and they have a little belief to what you are telling them, their next response is to attempt to close themselves off from you, they will try to block and shield.  Not everybody wants read, and many times it is better to not let people know you read them, if you want to maintain a relationship with that person. 

This is something you need to do some heavy meditating on and then go with what feels right.  I don't think my wife and I would been able to build the relationship we did if I had told her pre or slightly post marriage.  I don't think I needed to wait as long as I did, but I think she would of had more trepidation and insecurities earlier on if I had.  Our relationship has never been better since telling her, and she even helped me find this community so I could connect and not feel so alien.  

Random thoughts

Empath

Claircognizance or clear knowing. Many of us show some talent in several of the Clair abilities. I also have this, I told my wife she was pregnant both times before she knew or showed any signs. Just random stuff most of the time though. You should really look into all the Clair abilities.

Push Me, Pull You

Arts

Thank you.  

Living in a small town

Empath

I grew up in a small town like Zach, pop 250. Also like him I felt a lot of back stabbing and hypocrites.
I've been in large cities and it is great to feel all the energy, in short visits, but longer stays start to bring me down.
I live in a city about 20k pop, and it has been a fair balance. Country near a big city would kinda sound appealing.

Untitled

Arts

Do you know where you have been?

Do you know where you are?

Do you know where you are going?

I’ve been lost.

Sunk in despair

Drowned in remorse

Held hostage by hate

Frozen by doubt

Dizzied by greed

Baited by jealousy

Mugged by anger

Deceived by pride

“Why?”  

“Why me?”

Through it all….

I tried to pass blame.

I’ve been found.

Laying in a field alone

Hiding in my blanket of darkness

First just one light

Then two and three

Warmth in the cold

Bright in the dark

With each new light

Weapons were gained

Helmet of content

Chestplate of charity

Shield of love

Sword of joy

Boots of hope

Restored with friendship

The path was still not clear

But I’m no longer alone

I’ve been led to this point

Am I expected to lead from here?

Push Me, Pull You

Arts

Push Me, Pull You

What else can You do?

Defends, Deflects

Just feel Affects.

Ground and Shield

Don’t want it Revealed

See Me, Saw You

Did you enjoy the view?

Absorb, Ignore

Is this what You’re for?

Sense and Learn

Sit back and Discern.

Hold Me, Hug You

When We are Blue.

Heal and Bring Up

It will fill Your Cup.

Open, Caring

Should be Sharing

You’re Me, I’m you

Together we Renew.

Hold Me, Hug you

The Hurt We Undo.

See Me, Saw You

In us Spirit Grew.

Push Me, Pull You

Nothing We can’t Do.

Spidey sense being pinged

Empath

Unless your sister does not have any minutes on her phone, and you have no friends or family that live close to check on her.

Questions on how YOU experience vibes/energy...

Empath

I feel energy much in the same way you do.  

When I was a teenager, and noticed I was sensing people's emotions, I formed my outer bubble my sensing field.  Depending on my mood it is anywhere from 3-5 feet that I am fairly clear with.  My next layer I consider a shield.  This layer is only a foot or so from the surface of my skin, anybody that invades that area it is difficult to keep them out.  Finally I consider my last layer of shielding the armor that sits right on my skin.  If touched it is impossible to keep somebody out.  In my mind's eye these all carry a shade of blue, each slightly darker than the rest.

I can take my armor and shielding down, but I can't take down the sensing bubble.  I can expand it to fill a room.  Also like you enclosed spaces seem to reflect and trap, plus being inside is always harder than being close to people outside anyway.  

The physical feeling I get, when making a connection, starts with a tingle at the top of my crown and the stronger it comes through the tingle works down by skull, neck, then down my arms.  If really strong my whole upper body and head will tingle.  I don't pick up other electromagnetic energy though.  

You might find this interesting Science of the Heart There was another I liked better but can't find it right now.

I have always wondered how another empath might feel me, and how I might feel them in person.  I too am finding myself surprising people when I walk up on them.  I think some of that has to do with us knowing how to keep our own energy tight.

i-see-you

Spidey sense being pinged

Empath

That is all some great advice.  Thank you for sharing it with us.  It is just going down the list of family and friends to check on that is off putting.  Sometimes by going down the list "are you okay?" I run into some distractions from the initial ping.  

I have some decent cord cutting techniques that work for me.  I've been dealing with these situations for well over 20 years.  I used to have issues with sense of self, not knowing what was my own and what came from outside.  I use techniques, where I inspect each questionable emotion now, and am able to identify if it is mine or not, much easier than when I was a teen or in my twenties.  I'm also usually able to tell when somebody is siphoning my energy, so I only allow people to remain corded if they do not.  (or if I've decided 

There are certain people I like to leave cords to though, my wife, kids, and a few select family and friends.  Of those people only a couple know that I call myself an empath.  Those couple I've explained and demonstrated my abilities to them enough where they should understand.  Until a couple years ago I admitted this to nobody and tried to deny it to myself.  So interactions that could be purposefully trying to use it is still fairly new to me.  I have had people accidentally abuse it in the past and had to be cut.

If it is what I call a real emergency, they may not be an ability for them to call me. Like my grandmother who lives in the country by herself, or my sister the drug addict that may not have minutes on her phone.  These are reasons I leave cords to them. Somebody else might tell me what happened down the road, then I will feel like I slacked off on my duty.  I feel they should only try to purposefully use it in an emergency, they can call or text me for casual "I need a shoulder."  

I was just trying to decide, if I found them abusing it knowingly, would I talk to them about it or cut the cord completely.  Worried if I talk to them about it, and they were doing it unknowingly, they might figure out how to do it purposefully.  Decided if that was the case they are not a friend and the cord should be cut.  It turned out not to be who I thought though, and I had already checked on the other person that knows so the search continues.

Spidey sense being pinged

Empath



updated by @krosskelt: 09/21/17 12:46:19PM

Trailblazer

Arts

Trailblazer

I stand here now looking back on where I have been

The road took twists and turns

Sometimes barely visible or grown over

I kept putting one foot in front of the other

I have seen amazing things

Waded through sadness

Fought through anger

Hid in the dark

Ran for my life

Climbed over greed

Danced in Joyous rain

Slept under stars of Love

I stand here now looking at where I am

The fields are wide and welcoming

The water is clear and refreshing

Life seems to be swarming all over

I am so tired from coming this far

It seems like a fine place to rest for awhile

Maybe I could build a house and stay

We could get off the path and just be…

I am told it is not the time yet

I don’t have to travel alone anymore

If I lead they will follow

If I listen they will guide

I stand here now looking at the horizon

Snow capped mountains before me

But I realize my destination is not the top

Where I am going is far beyond

Like the wind I will blow mightily up and over

Like the water I will meander and make my own path

Like the earth I will hold strong and plow through

Like the fire I will glow with a heat people won’t believe

I can’t see the end of the road

I don’t fear the trials ahead

I will rejoice in the little things

I will put one foot in front of the other

What can I do with my "Psychic" Abilities

Empath

I used to think I was strictly an empath.  This was before joining with others and finding out that being an empath is actually being part of the clair family.  Many of us have found that we have or can develop other clair/psychic abilities and are not limited by the title empath.  I feel that we all fall under the general intuitive umbrella.

There are lots of healing techniques you can learn.  Reiki is one of the more popular paths, but start researching on your own.  Do google searches for energy healing, and find something that rings true with your higher self.

Healing by directly working with other's energy seems to be a stretch of my abilities and not my path.  I can be very good at emotional healing on the other hand, by being a friend, counselor, and/or confidant.  I can have a sense of claircognizance, and be able to help them down a path that might lead to healing.  Each of us has different blends of abilities, some we are naturally stronger in than others, some we can learn to be better at, and some may not be withing your particular set of abilities.  

Experiment, explore, and most of all read everything you can.  There are lots of opinions, books, blogs, and many other resources out there.  Something that rings true for me and my path, might not for you.  Here is a pdf link that lists some of the general clair abilities.  The-8-Clair-Senses-a-visual-guide-to-the-spiritual-psychic-senses.pdf

updated by @krosskelt: 09/13/17 07:24:57AM

Book idea/suggestions

Arts

So I like to write.  I'm not the best with grammar and spelling, fortunately computers help a lot in that area.  Mostly in the past it has been poems, speeches (that I write/outline but are never spoken), and just random things.  A few years ago I started writing a book.

The book I started was/is a seedy romance.  I have around 8-9 chapters roughed out.  Like I said I started it two years ago and then shared it with a group of people.  One of the readers was the first person I formed a long distance clear full time empathic connection with.  This caused a lot of confusion for me and my relationship of what it meant to form that type of connection.  Ultimately this caused my reawakening, coming out as an empath to my wife and a few close friends, and my wife in turn helped me find the EC.

So wrote on the book for a month or two after my reawakening, and put it away to move onto other things that I felt were more pressing.  I opened it up again a month or two ago, and want to start writing it again.  Although I'm thinking of taking it in a slightly different direction.

The main character is an Empath.  His abilities are a fictionalized version of what I myself am capable of, or the abilities of others I have spoken to.  Original plot is main character eventual meets his twin flame, and saves her from a narcissist who was trying to press her into marriage.  

There are several reasons I feel I want to write this book.  One reason is I want to put "Empath" out there more, even if some of the abilities are slightly fictionalized.  We have lots of self help books on empaths and sensitives, I thought it would be nice for a romance/fiction story.  As most writers do, I want to live vicariously through my character in a way.  I hope that maybe an unrealized empath/sensitive might read it and might start wondering, opening their path and maybe ultimately lead them somewhere like here to interact with others like them.

So I'm thinking about changing the current plot.  Expanding on it to include several types of relationships, working with energy, and becoming more balanced.  I may turn it into an e-book series, and need to start younger in the main character's life.  

What are your thoughts, ideas, and concerns?

updated by @krosskelt: 09/12/17 04:22:44PM

Projecting Emotions

Empath

@snap Yes I have read some on Hermeticism, in my early twenties.  I was trying to fill a hole I had with religion.  I don't remember much, most of my current beliefs are pieces from many of my studies that rang true in higher self.  I found that no one religion rings true to me on it's own.  

The Light

Arts

This is one of my favorites. Anytime I fall off track I come back to it, also the one I'm drawn to share the most.

I See You

Arts

Thanks. Not sure I can take all the credit. Funny how all my writings have always been targeted at empaths. Most of the ones I've shared here came right after my reawakening. This one kinda fell on the paper. I don't mind taking credit for the ones I had to work on, but this one was given to us.

Projecting Emotions

Empath

@Zen-angel  No I think it is good to hear how strongly some feel about this topic.  When I was just starting out, I mentioned here one time that when I was down how I liked to be around people that were up and full of energy and joy.  I said something that suggested maybe I was soaking up or taking their energy.  Others spoke up about how unethical it is to take ones energy unless you asked them to share it with you.  It made me think about a lot of stuff.  I have read through several of your posts and replies and think you always have a good addition to the community or conversation.  I'm a warrior empath though, stand up for the little guy and what not.  Also I didn't have a group or other sensitives with experience to help me on my path from 14-35, and had to learn, experiment, and learned to "control" my empathy on my own, so I encourage a more natural and free approach to letting one work out what works for them and what they are capable of.  

Your point of view is valid and valued, I have just experienced things differently which makes me approach it differently.  Like I said, I believe we are in agreement, just comes through for each of us based on how we have seen and dealt with it.

Projecting Emotions

Empath

@Zen-angel  I didn't feel that saying "NO! You're bad! Get back in the corner!" was appropriate for a newly discovered empath.  I felt that maybe letting them know the difference between letting emotions roll out from you, and pushing them onto somebody, was a good idea.  I feel that maybe a lot of people don't know how to control, what I call, projecting.  I feel that pushing emotions is wrong in most cases, and believe that I said that without scolding.  

I don't see an ethical issue with allowing your emotions to flow around you.  Some empaths have even been able to shield themselves without expending the energy to actively shield.  Just by letting there own emotions fill the space around them.  Most people that are not as sensitive as us have no understanding of how their emotions affects themselves, let alone how to control them from flowing out.  I do believe that everybody, sensitives or not can learn to recognize when they are pushing their emotions though.  

I understand free will VERY well.  I have been in the fight with sense of self for well over 25years.  Emotions effect me, and I had to learn to be able to sort through and determine what was me and what was somebody else.  I don't blame people for feeling, I don't blame them for allowing their sadness, joy, pain, or whatever to flow out.  I do blame them when they pushed that on me however.  I understand that even positive emotions can have a negative effect on some, but I am not going to let that keep me from letting my positive emotions flow out around me.  That is their issue and not mine.  

My wife likes me to wear a certain cologne.  Not everybody is going to like that scent. It makes me feel good, because I can feel that little added bit of desire or whatever from my wife.  Other peoples problems with the cologne is not going to stop me from wearing it.  Yes if it was to cause a problem with somebody I had to be around all day, I would not wear it during those times.  In that situation it would be up to the other person to inform me that it bothers them so I could reign it in.  

I feel like we are in agreement, but our communication styles are not compatible.  

Projecting Emotions

Empath

 Womanwhowalks said that we all project, and I would have to agree.  It is something that is natural and is used for communication.  

Projecting to me is allowing your emotions to surround you, people can take it or not.  Some people can bundle all their emotions and pack them away fairly tidy.  These people, it is difficult to tell their true emotions, either they are blank or only showing what they want you to see.  Other people it just flows out around them and surrounds them like a gas, to me these are projectors in the general sense.  Then there are people who actively attempt to push and change your emotions to match their's, some knowingly and others semi-accidental.  

The definition, to me, between projecting and pushing are important.  A speaker, salesman, healers, and many others project and that is okay.  They put emotions out there and hope that you pick up on them.  When those same people try and push those emotions on you though....it usually don't take.  It makes you feel dirty and one tends to feel the opposite of what was intended.  Somebody projecting trust you can take it or leave it, somebody pushing trust makes you question why they push it so bad.  

I can think of very few situations where pushing would be an acceptable practice.  I cared for individuals with mental and physical disabilities for almost 10 years.  I had one person I cared for that had H Pylori, he was unable to communicate other than a few words or phrases.  When he was having a flair up, he would scream for days, self harm, and just run himself and the staff to their limits.  I would push calm, not project because he was in no situation to pick up on it.  They had a restraint procedure, but I didn't use it.  I was able to keep him pushed down to a level where he could eat small amounts and maybe even rest for short periods.  If one is in pain or hysteria of some type, I feel it is okay to push at that point to calm them.  Not many other situations do I see pushing appropriate.  

Projecting yes, project away.  Let your light shine, just don't go burning people with the flame.

Projecting Emotions

Empath

There is a fine line between what might be ethical or appropriate when pushing emotions. We have felt people do it and know how it can feel. Transmuting negative to positive can be one thing. Pushing an emotion on somebody usually only lasts until they realize it is not theirs.
Let us say it is love and lust you push. Any relationship formed from that point will have a high risk of failure, because that person wasn't allowed to form those emotions about you on their own. Eventually they will question that emotion, and may decide they never felt that way on their own. I've dealt with a few strong projectors, a few I suspected even had a vague idea of what they were actually doing. Most had no clue they were projecting so strongly.
I don't want to discourage you in experimenting, I've done my fair share. Just be sure you also take into account the long term. I'm sure there is a Stan Lee quote I could throw in here. Just think about what you would want if somebody had that influence over you. For me, sometimes, I would rather people keep most of their emotions and let me have my own. Everybody likes sharing joy, and unfortunately sadness is supposed to be shared (don't go pushing it though of course), and others I don't mind sharing. I just don't enjoy them being pushed.

The Light

Arts

Thanks.  I'm working on a few new pieces

The Light

Arts

The Light

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine, let it shine….

Something so simple yet profound.

In the darkness I am found.

I used to feel that I had no choice

That nobody would listen to my voice

Protect and shield was my way

Hiding from the pain of day

Quite certain this was my plight

To go about life with no sight

Fear and Anger lead my life

Causing not but only strife

Thinking I was alone and lost

One day I finally paid the cost

It was in me burning bright

Trapped there was my light

Knowing now that I am one

I feel it burning like the sun

I was meant to share it wide

Not push it deep down inside

We just have to give up the fight

Courage and love feeds our might

If you listen you too can hear

He will help you lose the fear

I am you and you are me

Together now we can see

Balance and faith we must gain

Then we can release the pain

We are here to be bold

Embrace each other in the cold

I See You

Arts

I see You

I wonder if they see what we do

If they could see through my eyes

Would they see the hate and lies

Is it what I feel that makes it seen

Not sure if I can show you what I mean

Some don’t look close enough to see

Other’s so close they can’t let it be

Maybe you will be one that learns The Sight

With it you will also learn that truth is a fight

Those that are blind never will admit

Those that see choose not to commit

In the dark we must hold hands and lead

Joined together the trapped can be freed

It is okay to let your pain and hurt show

In your heart you must learn to let it go

The battlefield will be deep in your mind

Your own path you are tasked to find

The path may be blocked or not clear

You must keep moving through the fear

If you could see what I see

What would you see in me

A Higher Calling

Arts

So tired…

Just want to close my eyes

Drift to that world void of lies

Where I can swim in thin air

Where things seem to be fair

This world keeps calling

I seem to just keep falling

Lay my head in the grass

Time eternal allowed to pass

Sleeping while seasons change

To me nothing is strange

This world keeps calling

I seem to just keep stalling

On my head grows a lotus

Bearly awake I hardly notice

How long I’ve been here unknown

Covered in growth, body not shown

This world keeps calling

I seem to just keep bawling

WAIT!

This isn’t me who is he

You have things to be

Don’t just lay there get up

Listen while I fill your cup

This world keeps calling

Your perception keeps falling

Answer and fulfill your duty

Choose to see the beauty

Awaken and now is the time

To avoid would be a crime

This world keeps calling

Did you choose to be stalling

The plan has always been

In you I am always within

The world has very few choices

Just follow me and the voices

This world keeps calling

You must keep brawling

updated by @krosskelt: 12/29/17 07:02:03AM

My Journey

Arts

My Journey

Born to a world of strife

This is the story of my life

Turbulent waters I was born

Father left and forever shorn

Mother with two young boys

Pain all her heart employs

A man makes her whole again

Together family they then begin

Time spent on Grandparents farm

Where I’m taught to do no harm

A change occurred early on

Pushed and pulled like a pawn

In my teens I was more confused

Confidence and ego surely bruised

Dad filled with work frustration

Anger caused our degradation

Life is surely now a fight

Turned to God for his light

Found a girl to hold dear

Pushed away by her fear

Lost and alone I was dropped

Hopes and dreams now popped

Only in friendship I was found

Like brothers we were bound

Confidence and joy first time gained

A woman, my wife preordained

Our hearts began to mesh and weave

A family we together would achieve

What I was, still hidden from all

The things I feel behind my wall

Something I wrapped and tucked away

The words were too hard for me to say

Something inside me felt alone

The thing I did not want shown

Out of nowhere it was pushed out

Made clear to all there was no doubt

Guided my whole life from above

No more subtle hints just a shove

Shown the things that I had endured

Told for a reason, the voice assured

Given direction where once I was lost

More than willing to accept the cost

Rewards of Joy and Love in return

My light is for all to see it burn

updated by @krosskelt: 12/29/17 09:33:57AM

Feeling Lost

Empath

I have difficulties balancing real world responsibilities and my journey with spirit.  It seems the more time I spend with one the other suffers.  After the birth of my first child I went into this mode of "buckling down and doing what it took."  My spirit journey and in essence my empath was shoved down and I attempted to forget about them.  I thought I had so many other stresses in life that I just couldn't deal with them on top of that.  I also have never been one where money means much to me, so I showed a lot of indifference on financial matters.  Just before my reawakening we were in a rut.  Both my wife and I were severely depressed, mostly because she was terrible with money but did what we had to do to survive.  

After my reawakening, my indifference was gone.  I knew what needed to be done to get us out of our rut.  I took us from always being on the verge of losing our car, and living in run down mold infested rental houses, to owning our cars free and clear and closed on our first home the day after our 15th anniversary.  

After my awakening, I was so filled with spirit and so wanted to dive deeply into that journey.  I did for a few months, before setting my determination and focus on my goal of doing better for my family.  It took a lot of work and left very little room for spirit in that time.  Now that my major goals are reached, and my determination not so overwhelming, I am ready to follow my spirit journey again.  

I guess the point is that, as in everything, there is a balance.  You just need to find the levels that work for you to accomplish what is most important.  Without some level of spirit in my life I feel empty and hollow, but with too much focus on spirit and can't accomplish much on this plane.  

Towers

Arts

Thanks I'll be sharing one a day for the next few days.

Please Take An Empath Poll...

Empath

Late to the conversations but....

I am a night owl as most of you.  As mentioned ~10pm is when my family and house starts to settle down.  The time from then until 12-2am is usually spent in some type of reflection and decompression.  4-6 hours a night of sleep is the usual, if I get more than 8 I am more tired the next day.  I do like my naps though.  Either right after work on weekdays or around 2-3pm on the weekends.  

Beginnings

Arts

Beginnings

The weight on my heart

not sure where to start

Tears begin to fill my eye

I’m not even sure why

Why can’t I see

Why can’t I let it be

My vision is blurred

I wonder if I’ve been heard

I open myself to the world

Energy around me swirled

Beautiful and bright

I can see the light

Why can’t I feel it in me

Why can’t I just be free

Storms brewing behind

I can feel it in my mind

I feel left out in the open

is something in me broken

Why can’t I find the key

Why can’t I just up and flee

I must be strong and brave

Find the feelings that I crave

I have to find a way

Just wish it was today

The way ahead is clear

I must release my fear

Why and how don’t matter

Nothing but empty chatter

The weight must be lifted

My thinking to be shifted

I open my heart

This is where I start

updated by @krosskelt: 12/28/17 01:07:51PM

Towers

Arts

Towers

How can you ask this of me

There are others it should be

I have ignored and denied you

I once felt you forgot me too

A gift you have gave

A path you did pave

I struggle to find my way

Listening for what you might say

The road is overgrown

Lost or never known

I begin to build a tower

Soon to be final hour

The base I give all my coin

Passion I use to  join

Now going higher I build

more confidence I do wield

I feel the love in my spire

continuing up and even higher

My voice echoes over the land

I still can’t see from where I stand

Imagining what I’ll see at the top

Nearing the heavens I shall stop

Bliss reflects an image of me

A shining light for all to see

I now see the path you set

How big the wager you did bet

Your strength in me now renew

My faith in you tells me what to do

My heart’s song must be sung

Love’s bell must be rung

Fear and dark will be cast out

Light pushing out all other doubt

I will do what you have tasked

Knowing now what is asked

From all around us and above

I will embrace them with our love

Joy can be found once we are pure

Happiness abound that is sure

I long to feel again your grace

Warm and safe in your embrace

updated by @krosskelt: 12/28/17 08:11:57AM

New empath but old soul....I can't work it out

Empath

I used to only feel emotions strongly from others at short distances.  After my reawakening, 2 years ago, many things changed.  I have since formed strong connections with a few people at a distance.  They were people that I have never met in real life.  But spent a day or more going through every emotion that they had.  Even breathing synced with them at night.  Their desire for me to be the one that provided healing was what connected us.  Once that subsided the connection was easy to close.   

I fear that if I love again , again I will love a Narcissist . How to end this cycle.

Empath

@abhay-raaz

indigo-dog's #4. is one of the best pieces of advice that you might receive.  You need to take time to inspect the relationship deeper, before you let your own emotions form.  We, as empaths, get bulldozed sometimes.  Especially by emotions like lust and desire.  Notice I separate those two.  Lust is often a physical attraction, where desire can be a deep wanting for what you can offer.  One of the traps with a narcissist and empath relationship can be, we reflect what they want us to.  I feel that maybe you are attracted to them because they have a self confidence that maybe you are missing within yourself.  So in a way it is a parasitic relationship on both sides.  They want us to reflect their emotions, giving them a higher sense of self by validating those emotions.  We want to feel that high sense of self that they have, within and about ourselves.  The last part never happens though, because we are too busy feeding into their needs, and little if any of our own needs in a relationship are filled.  

When I meet my wife I was worried about letting lust and desire drive me into a relationship that may not be what was best for me at the time.  I felt desire the first night I met her.  I didn't know if it was mine or hers and could not tell.  By the third interaction I could feel the lust.  Still not knowing if it was hers, mine, or both.  I knew in the first week that I was capable of loving her, but could not feel love reflected.  By the end of the first month I could feel it in her, even though she was not ready to admit it.  

Learn to love yourself, don't let lust and desire drive you, and wait to feel that love you have shared between you both.  

New empath but old soul....I can't work it out

Empath

I would be really interested to hear more of your story sometime.

Sense of self is something that I have fought with my whole life.  Is it me feeling this?  Do I want this, or does somebody want me to want this?  Before I came to know there were other people like me I had to form my own ways of dealing.  One of the main things to help me is just sitting down and inspecting each of my emotions.  I do this almost nightly, and sometimes I have to stop during the day to inspect something that seems pressing.  Pulling out the emotion and looking at it with my mind's eye.  Is this mine?  If not mine then who's?  Is there something I can do about that?  Sometimes just saying it is not mine is enough for it to go away.  Sometimes identifying who it is and what, if anything, I can do for them is what it takes before I can move on from that emotion.  

The second thing is shielding, grounding, and knowing your boundaries.  I would caution against shielding.  It was something that I self taught, and in essence became a crutch and energy drain for me.  While shielding may help one maintain some sense of self, it also keeps others at a distance and suppresses that which makes us who we are.  Eventually your empath is going to break that barrier down, no matter how much energy you devote to it.  You have to know your boundaries, and learn to love yourself.  If you feel that you are getting to deep, you need to take some time and ground yourself and build your reservoir again.  Sometimes having others to help share the burden helps too.