Forum Activity for @rkdn

RKDN
@rkdn
08/10/17 02:25:58PM
2 posts

Conflicted


Empath

@angel thank you so much, I really am going to try doing that with a journal, I used to when I was younger and it was so beneficial. I think you could be completely right, I'm neglecting myself and that isn't healthy and it also doesn't help me help others to the best of my ability. Thank you so much!

@timchavez love is the key is my new mantra! Thank you!

@raindancer thank you so much, nothing sounds too hippie at all! I do need better influencers but most of all I need to learn to let go and be around others who do the same, let things flow instead of pushing or dictating. This is actually so interesting because I can hold on to things and I feel crushed when others try to push me in a certain way too.

Thank you so much everyone for helping me on this post. I know it was a long one but sometimes getting it out inspires you in great ways. So happy to have found this forum and if any of you ever want to unload to me I will always take the time to read and listen! Your support and kind words mean a great deal! X
RKDN
@rkdn
08/09/17 05:17:56PM
2 posts

Conflicted


Empath

Hi everyone,

Been great to read some of your posts and I feel like I may be repeating some of them in mine, but I need to speak from me in hopes of hearing some information that will fill some missing pieces.

I've always understood people...been able to read them and know what makes them work. The more I get myself and learnt how I worked the more other people became like systems to me. Each one has a unique soul operating it but they are all working off of the same blueprint. This allowed me to connect with them, I've had some really tough experiences and through those I can relate to almost anyone suffering. I've suffered with depression before and still struggle with insomnia and anxiety, the problem I have is that I'm very open to learning and progressing myself but the more I do the more I see the blindness and ignorance of so many others. I have worked with spirit before and sat in circle, but I went along to observe, I was encouraged to go up and give some other people in the circle some messages so I did (feeling crazy) and always managed to get things through, everyone was really excited about me doing it but to me it felt superficial. I didn't want it to be a performance and a part of me didn't trust myself. I have two sides of me - the harsh one and the emotional one. Which thanks to a post on here someone else mentioned it being normal. I can feel truth and I can only speak truth. I know things before they happen and I feel who people are. Sadly people have become tediously predictable, I feel flooded with people who obsess over themselves, who lie to themselves and others, who ignore any responsibility over themselves and I'm losing compassion fast. I still see so much good in people but I find it easier to do this with strangers than my friends. I know I'm connected, I've always felt it and animals and children always connect with me and people always feel safe around me to turn to. I'm just worried that I'm becoming resentful or tired of people and I don't know how to change it but I'm scared of what I'm letting it do to me. I don't want to dismiss people around me that are in their own holes. I guess the hardest thing I struggle with is believing I'm an empath - please understand I say this next bit from the harsh left side of me but I wonder if it's just a self obsessed desire in me to be unique or different to others, is it really about being tuned in to something others aren't or is it just that I need to be better than others to feel of value? I feel like I need to work out the system of an empath which is crazy right because that's about my own need of control, but I can't fully grasp it and understand it so I feel lost in it. I hope this makes sense to you how it does to me and I'm so sorry for a long post, I've been searching for somewhere to speak for so long and coming across this forum has been so helpful.
updated by @rkdn: 08/19/17 07:18:36AM