Forum Activity for @zacharias

@michelle- You said you saw the demon on the psychopath that hurt you. My mother saw the demon that hurt us. I see them out in public now and then. They wear a mask. I see the mask too. Is this what you saw? 

@tigerlily- I understand where you are coming from. If I were to document every offence over the years I'd run out of paper. If I was given an indication that she would physically injure my daughter I would leave before that happened. The hurt she has caused psychologically and spiritually is worse. It has caused deep wounds that take longer to heal than meer physical damage. I had reason to leave years ago. My daughter would have came with me without argument. It makes me look weak and stupid not too, but your question was "Why post this?". 

I got what I wanted out of it. I wanted her to see what she is and turn away from it. All indications are she has finally understood I will not tolerate another incident. She has been coming to me to admit things she's still doing that I had asked her not to do anymore. We are working through this in a way that isn't so final. I give her grace if she gets out in front of it and asks me to forgive her. If not, she will be alone. That did sink in deep enough that she has changed the way she behaves. Although, it's only been two weeks. Lets see what happens long term. 

It's very difficult to see this life as something to enjoy. There is always suffering. We suffer through it and must accept it in order to move past it. There is a much larger issue here. It's what happens in the next life. That is what I'm concerned about.

Forgiveness isn't for the weak hearted. It seems like a sacrifice to give up our animus and open ourselves up to more hurt. It looks like were just duped into allowing others to run roughshod over us. That isn't what is really happening. If I were to react to every time I see another suffer I would be a very prolific serial killer. I would love to put down every human that harms another. Being an empath means I see what they are capable of, and worse, what they have done. I trained for many years to be the toughest mofo in the room no matter what room I was in. I do stand up and stop it when I see it, but I can't stop all of it. There is a purpose to suffering beyond our feeble understanding. 

I hate to get into "The Purpose of Suffering". It's a subject that won't be fully explained here. C.S. Lewis has explored this topic well, if your interested. The main question you want an answer to is why suffer a narc? It's selfish, actually. Like I said, I want to be the toughest mofo in the room. There are many narcs I'm dealing with. Some are on the level of sociopath and I see what damage they doing. Other people don't see it and they would target me if I simply pulled my knife and ended them. So I choose another way. I want to save them from themselves. As Empath, at our core we all do. We just don't know how to go about. Now I do. I apply these lessons I've learned from this experience to new confrontations. It feels good to have new weapons in my arsenal. I'm ready for battle. In fact, I've already begun the fight. I stand in place waiting for the attack to come. Once movement happens I can redirect the energy back at the attacker. This is our gift as Empath. We are warriors. All we have to do is stand. 

Let's use another example just so you get a full understanding. I have a pet raccoon I call Edgar. I have a few, but they are all named Edgar. I call them pets because I feed them. Not because I pet them. Edgar just came up to me asking for food. So I said yes, again, even though he just went through the trash. He walks all over my tables and knocks thing down. He's a menace. I should pop him with my slingshot until he leaves, or just kill him, gut him, eat him, and make a coonskin hat out of him. Instead I let him eat the cat food which he is doing right now. Why would I? I think this is something you understand without me explaining. 

Wow, @hop-daddy, once again you have a great way of explaining things I can't quite pin down until I hear you say it (so to speak). I'm about to go to the church council and call them all out on what they're doing. It's corruption and it affects the entire church. I won't have it anymore. I may end up losing the best job I've ever had, but I just can't let it stand. Thanks for the pep talk.

I'd say you fit the profile pretty damn well. I wouldn't worry about what kind of empath you are. We all have all the gifts. We're strong at the ones we practice. Even if we don't know we're practicing them. 

I think we get a little defiant because of all the lies we are told. They still tell the same lies to kids today. I see it from the parents perspective now, but in watching other parents do the same things adults did in my day, I so want to take kids aside and say to them "It's all bullshit". It really is. I can only deal with for so long before I resist and call them out. 

Oh yes, you definitely have abilities you don't know about. Your a mech. I bet you have what is call analytical awareness. You know machines intuitively. Think about it. 

Most male empaths don't discover it until latter in life. I fully relate to what your saying. I just drove through the Davis mountains down 60 wishing I could stay there. I plan to take my bike there this year. Something about it is drawing me. My brother was talking about Telluride. Sounds wonderful.

I haven't given up the dream of a cave. I've carved out this cave in my mind 1000's of times. It's in a forest in the mountains. Just me and my horse. I'm one these people that can walk into the woods with a pocket knife and stay for a month. 

I don't like having friends. It's a responsibility I don't want. I really only have one true friend. A fellow empath who's dream is to live in a cabin on the ocean shore alone. After all the difficulty being around people we just want a rest. I wish people were not so critical as to believe I'm anti-social. It's not really true. I just need to be alone to recover. If I don't get one day a week in my sanctuary I go a little nuts, like I am right now. If I could I would stay for years. I did in the past. I want to make a living carving stone, metal, wood, stuff I can sell, and have as little interaction as possible. I'm getting more sensitive as I get older. I'm close to 50.

The times I've been freaked out in traffic make me weary of driving into town. I get about a 3 hour window to do what I need to do. I had to move away from Houston because of it. I broke down a few times. I just cried and screamed. Houston is a horrible place for an empath.

I smoke a lot of weed. It dulls my senses. Helps me cope. It isn't for everyone. I would rather not because I like being fully sober. I quit now and then for the fun of it, but I always go back to it eventually. Things get way to intense once it leaves my system. I can tell after about 60 days and rush back to it. Well, now we have CBD. I can't believe we just discovered this. My Aunt uses it for Fibromyalgia. She is a big marijuana hater so it took her awhile to find. Now my most of my family uses it. 

The tools seriously help. I have a room full of crystals and carry stones with me. I shield myself around others and ground out the energy that builds up. People would think I'm New Agey if they knew. I'm not, just practical. We do what we have to do.

Yes, we suffer, but it can get better. We can be stronger. It's not about me anymore, it's about them. I rely on God to help me find the strength to continue. I really don't care about this life anymore. I've given it up to be used by Him. I want to be one with the Infinite.

@cat-whisperer- Seems that you have found that strength. We have to get to the point where we say "NO MORE". Good. 

@cat-whisperer- As a woman you have an incredible strength you may not know about. I'm always surprised most women have not figured this out. I am in awe of women that have. It's very subtle, yet powerful. Please find it and use it to help yourself. 

True forgiveness doesn't happen without repentance. The word repent means to turn away. Without the other side changing their behavior we have to forgive over and over. The resolution doesn't happen until both sides do their part. We can forgive for ourselves and let go, but we can't make them truly repent. So we forgive, but we don't forget. I don't know what the answer is, other than patience. 

Yes, thank you @tigerlily for making it clear. I've noticed two different types of gaslighters. Those that know what they are doing and those that don't. Denial is a major factor. They lie to themselves the most. This is why they can tell you blatant lies and believe it themselves. 

Those that know what they are doing, of course, are more sinister. These are sociopaths. They like to break people. They want to ruin you for their own satisfaction. I remember hearing a woman talk about this on NPR. She had written a book about it. What it's like to be a sociopath. It was enlightening. 

Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight

I wish these people didn't exist. It's hard to understand, although, we have too in order to deal with them. In a work environment they can craft schemes and do some real harm. This is their entertainment. 

I'll explain my experience. Lets see if you relate:

As a kid I thought everything was normal. I grew up in a tough neighborhood. We did a lot of fighting. I fought differently than most. I would stop when I saw the panic in their eyes. this was my first clue. I had invisible friends, not imaginary. People thought me quirky for it. I knew when people were lying. Even we no else did. Clue 2. I had issues being around people and would spend my free time alone mostly fishing and being out in nature. As a teen I would hang out with narc type kids that drew me in. In my late teens I started acting more like an empath. I had many parties at my apartment. We had the cops called on us a few times. I loved having so many friends, but at times I had to hide in the bedroom closet to get away. I was getting overwhelmed. Clue 3. At 21 I was watching Star Trek and identified with Deanna Troy, but simply thought this can't be a true thing. It was science fiction, not science fact. I keep this idea in the back of my mind for a while. When Curt Cobain died I talked to people about him being an empath and actually said out loud that I could be as well. Still I didn't want to believe it. I was in a punk band and did not like being on stage. I didn't want to be the front man even though I sang and wrote the songs. It didn't go anywhere because I couldn't deal anymore. I withdrew from the world and ran off to mexico. The idea was to find a cave and live there for the rest of my life. This was a dream I had to live alone and stop being this social person anymore. I came back to the states with a girl I met there and married her. We lived in a small town where she grew up and I did ok there. We stayed for close to 20 years. The town thought I was strange because I kept to myself. At about 30 I actually looked up the word empath on a search engine and was hit with all this information that explained so much. I knew at this point it was real. I couldn't deny it anymore, yet I still doubted it. There were things that happened that I couldn't explain any other way that convinced me. At that time I began practicing defence techniques(shielding, grounding) and was becoming more social again. I felt I had more of a handle on what was happening. It's not an easy journey. It was this curse for so long that I hated it. It wasn't until I fully accepted it that I started to heal. It's like a disability that you have to plan your day around. I didn't want to think about it. I wanted to be "normal".

I now fully accept it and function extremely well. I have 100's of friends. I still suffer through life. I still need my alone time. There are things I simply can't do because I'm Empath. I'm not normal, and I don't care. I like what I am because of what I can do. My perception of the spirit world has been heightened and I have "psychic" skills no one else does. People think I'm super cool because of what I do for them. The truth is I'm no better than they are. I serve them. It's my divine purpose. This fulfills me. I have joy because it. The key was to completely accept it.

Gnostic principles are incredibly interesting. I do want to learn more in time. When I went back to church I had difficulty with the baptist theology. Soon after, God lead me to the gospel of Thomas. I was so excited I read it three times. This made sense. It opened up new understandings, and I was able to find those spiritual people in the church that transcended theology. I will study more.

Thank you for explaining. I don't have enough time anymore to study much. I work six days a week. Because of this, I don't go to church much anymore either. Mostly I hate the effect of being drained. I fall asleep every time. After a tough week I don't have anything left to give. I'm the custodian of the church. I clean up after them. On Sunday, I don't even want to look at them. I have to know what they have inside and say nothing. It sucks picking up a half eaten sucker or a piece of gum and know who put it there. Now, what your saying sort of answers the question as to why I'm being drained. I was told "everyone is working out their salvation" well they don't need me for that. I was ok with it as long as it was doing them some good, but I started doubting that it was doing any good at all. So why bother going. I may rethink this.

Now for the serious discussion: I was your son. I did the same he is doing now. You wouldn't have been able to tell that I at 16 was an empath. I hated the world for what it did to me without regret. I acted on that hatred by tearing apart the house. It started with putting holes in the wall and led to destroying mirrors, furniture, anything that would break. I started drinking at 16. I would sneak out at night and tear apart the city. I was living havoc. You could say I did the worst things for the best possible reasons. I was broken. I felt damaged. I couldn't bring myself to care anymore. Not for myself at least. It was self destruction. It led to an incident where by I had climbed a building, after drinking all night, and jumped off. I wanted to kill everyone. Instead I killed myself. 

My story might be to extreme for this or any forum. I was born into a horror show and raised by a demon. This is not just dramatic talk. It really happened. For so long, this was a family secret. No one talked about it til I was in my 20's. My mother is the only one that will discuss it. She was a prisoner of that demon for three years. She fully recovered and so did I. It was her love for me that got me through it. It was God's love that saw her through it. She never gave up on me. I am today who I am because of her. I wish I hadn't made it so hard on her. She was always on my side. Her prayers saved me. Her prayer brought me back from death. I know, it's extreme. 

I believe your son will find his way. He will look back and see what your love has meant to him. I'll be praying for this. Some decisions we make along the way can destroy us. If you can keep him from choosing those things, the rest will be lessons he uses to form his character. He'll be a better man for it. 

Something great happened last night. My wife had read this post and saw for herself what she is! I think she finally accepted it. She had a major break through. She said she'd had gotten angry at first, and felt humiliated. When she came to me to talk about it. She had worked through it. She was ready to listen. She wants to be a better person. I'm going to start showing her love again. This is great! I think we are taking a new road together. Now it's my turn to step up. 

This is a lesson for us all. We all deal with narcs. Maybe they can be turned back toward the light. It just takes brutal honesty and an iron will. Oh, and love. Lots and lots of love.

Thank you for sharing so much, @michelle, we are here for eachother. There are others here that need you. Minister to them now. I'm good.

First of all, thank you for your replies. My wife is a narc, yes, but, she's also my daughters mother. I can't leave her and I can't live with her. I can, however, pray for her and forgive her. I'm well practiced in forgiveness, so I will again. I don't have to deal with her BS anymore. I have taken full control of the house. My daughter is with me on this. She supports me. This fact has raised my vibe to new levels.

It scares me to think she could be a soulless person. I don't want to believe this. I want her with me. I want the connection I asked for 26 years ago. I keep giving up thinking it will never happen and then I try again. I have to. She's all I have. If I left her I would never have a relationship with another woman. I have many female friends. They fill the role that my wife can't. Good enough. 

I have been using her own tactics against her. Except instead of telling lies, I tell her the bitter truth. I stopped holding back to spare her, and she loves me(if she's capable of love) more than ever.  It's that push-pull thing they do. Show them kindness, they use it against you. Show them anger, they back down and want you more. I don't mean uncontrolled outrage. It's more like incredulity mixed with disgust, if that makes sense. This works for me. She isn't very good at being a narc. She just isn't that smart. If she was, she'd be dangerous, yet she has never been violent to me. 

This relationship has actually been very good for me, now that I think about it. It has given me the confidence to fight much harder battles. I had to know without shadow of doubt that I am right. The word "right" is short for righteous, I believe. Being righteous allows me to stand on principle. Tempered with humility, and with God at my side, I can't be moved. I have a power now that can help change the world. I won't be broken. I won't be defeated. I should thank her. 

I'm still not exactly sure what that means. All I know is that my wife does things no one in their right mind would do, and she will not stop no matter what I say to her. It's as if she can't help it, yet she is aware of what she is. She may not actually believe she is a narc, but as least, she no longer argues about it. I see her agreeing with me as part of the manipulation. The lies and manipulation have no logic behind it. This puzzle of a person is beyond my understanding. You would think I would know her after 25+ years of being together. I can't figure out what motive she has other than to break my will or drive me away. If you want to know a person, find out what motivates them. It's pretty easy normally, but when it comes to my own wife I can't get my mind around it.

No, she is not in any way a genuine person, although, she does have moments of clarity. She had one last week. I saw her true self for about a minute. Once again, I see this as part of another manipulation. It was a way of making me think there is still hope she can learn to be genuine. It worked for a time. Then I had a conversation with my Aunt. 

My cousin is married to an extreme narc. He has completely withdrawn from her and his family. Being a man of honor, he won't leave her. She has controlled the entire family for years by holding her own children over the heads of their grandparents(My aunt and uncle). She threatens to take them away or simply tells the kids lies that they fully believe. She gives her kids anything and everything they want and breaks their spirits with ridicule. She completely controls them and turns them against the rest of the family and their father. She gets violent! My aunt and I had a very long conversation comparing my wife to her daughter-in-law. They are the same! They do the same things. They think the same way. They are in such denial, they both tell blatant lies that are so transparent EVERYONE knows it's a lie, yet they believe they are fooling us. What arrogance! Well, after five hours at the kitchen table we all came to the conclusion that the main issue is severe insecurity. They are both motivated by the fear of seeing themselves for what they truly are. They can't accept it. My cousin is also an empath. Like my uncle. They are two of the most compassionate men I know. They have both given up trying to help her. 

My wife has caused the death or disappearance of many of my cats. Well, last week I came home to my dog tied to a post choking on a leash she had slipped around his neck. Not a to a collar. The leash was acting like a noose that tightened as he moved. I first heard what sounded like a dying turkey and felt his anguish and confusion. Then I saw what she had done. He had peed on the carpet again. He's old and he can't hold it as long as he use too, so she was punishing him. The reason she gave me for doing this was that she subconsciously didn't want me to go to my brother's funeral. I had hoped she wouldn't try to stop me from going. She did this as I was about to get ready to leave. Can she not understand why we have to go to funerals? I went anyway.  

For years now, I thought I could somehow get through to her. I know now I can't and have given up completely. She reads my email and my posts on this forum. I hope she reads this one.

My wife has been a teacher for 25 years. I know a lot about what your going through. Stress brings out the worst in people that might normally be fairly pleasant. What's ironic about that is the fact that it takes stress to build our character. It's all in how we react to it. So we should be thankful for it if our goal is to become better people. Yet, even though I believe this fully, I still don't like it much. When I'm at that point where I can't handle anymore I get a sign. It happened again tonight. I won't go into it, but It's always a clever coincidence and a message. It's like having emotional support from this overwhelmingly powerful being that created the cosmos and for some unknowable reason cares how I feel at that moment. It's pretty cool. Can you relate?   

@hop-daddy- You tend to find the best articles. Amy to me is a superstar. This was a good read on many levels. I get what she has to go through to communicate with spirits that are not exactly beneficial. Whatever they may be. I also am amazed that she chose to go to war zone to help others. That is some extreme conditioning! 

My wife had an encounter with our neighbor the night she died. She came to her to ask forgiveness before she moved on. They had issues they didn't resolve. I knew her well, because I talked with her about all the terrible things that happened in her life, which was story after story of extreme tragedy. She shared that with me and we cried a lot. I was glad to know that she had moved on and gave my wife some peace and was able to reconcile before she left. 

My experience with spirits hasn't been so nice. I don't want to connect with them because of the horrible emotions they give off at times. Amy can and is willing to make that connection. That is awesome. I love her for it. My concern is much more for the living than the dead. I just want them to go away. It takes a physical toll on her to deal with the emotions and do this work. I've never been in a war zone, although I can imagine what it's like for an empath to be surrounded by misery. She is one tough woman. 

@goodenergyhealing- I have not long ago read something about it. Grounding is important through out the day. I take breaks and walk through the woods. Without it I wouldn't be able to function. It just that there is so much more EMF's I've been dealing with over the past six months I haven't been able to get away from it long enough to rest. I may starting grounding my bed, chair, walking around without boots on and such. I'll do more research.

@tigerlily-thank you for posting that article on purring. I'm one of those weirdo's with 16 cats. I know they don't purr for other cats, just humans. they will also purr if they are injured. Having a cat sleeping on my face is the best feeling. 

Being a carpenter, before I build a deck, I take off every barcode off of every piece of lumber and some times there's two. I don't like to look at them. I think it's strange. I have no idea why, but it's something about the bar code itself. 

I have the same EMF sensitivity. I'm constantly trying to condition myself to it. The power transfer stations on the side of the road, the overhead power lines. They all produce a vibration that comes from what I call artificial electricity. The feel of it is vastly different than from thunderstorms. I haven't been able to condition myself to it. In fact, the more I subject myself to it, the stronger my sensitivity becomes. It's a strange feeling that I have hard time explaining, but I just consider it another type of pain. A lot like being overwhelmed by a large group of people. After a period of time, my mind shuts down and I can no longer think. It is definitely interfering with my own electrical system. 

I use to use a backpack vacuum in my work. Having an electromagnet on my back was very painful. I dealt with it for months until I got to the point of not being able wear it any more. I had to stop. Now I carry it around instead of strapping it to my spine and I can feel a difference in my leg. The field around it is pretty strong. I need to stop using it all together. On top of the that, one of the buildings I clean is a "smart" building. It has wifi emitters in every room. Just being in the building will change my mood over time. It has a cumulative effect. I assume that if it effects me, then it's also effecting everyone else. Even if they don't notice. I can feel these strong wifi antennas. I can close my eyes and spin around until I'm disoriented and know exactly where they are. This is a problem.

As far as sound vibration goes, there are rooms in this building that reverberate sound off the walls. it's amazing to be able to track the vibrations. The sound is canceled out when the vibes hit together. I've been installing sound panels to dampen the effect. I've learned a lot about acoustic resonance and the effect on human mood. I can see why people run off to the middle of the desert, or gravitate to salt caves. We need to be free from it to feel good again, yet it's everywhere. If we can't we need sound therapy to cancel out those negative vibes. Your mood affects your ability to heal more than anything else. I about ready to find a crystal cave I can live in for the rest of my life. I hate to leave society, but I know there will be a point where I'll have too.

The sound that comes from crystal bowls is incredibly soothing. To me it's a lot like a fuzzy guitar. Music has been therapy for me all my life, but more as a mirror of my emotion at the time. It's an energy release. It can also be a way of trapping those emotions which causes blockages. I find instrumental music to be much more therapeutic and vocals to be more energy release. I try to choose music that puts me into a mood i want to be in. It's all about the vibration. 

I have more stomach issues in December than any other time. I attempt to avoid people at this time of year. Last night i had to over see a children's program with another empath. She did most of the work, but was very tired when it was over. She is half my age. I had a different reaction. I was tired as soon as the people started entering the building. My stomach knotted up as well. I thought I might have eaten some bad chicken. It went away after I took a nap and grounded out that energy I picked up. 

My daughter has stomach issues all the time. Yesterday, she stayed home from work because of it. She doesn't do much grounding except in the bath. I can see the correlation of her stomach issues and people shes around.  

Yes, my prayer today was out of desperation. I feel 100% better than I did last night. God answered my prayer in an unexpected way. 

Thank you again, @michelle. I'm guess I'm more or less an idealistic person. I thought I was a realist. In some sense I am. There is plenty I simply accept about the world with no judgment, but the things that effect me directly I want to change. At this point I just want peace, so today I see the world as is.

This morning I saw the picture of Jesus you have hanging on your wall. The first time was the link you put up of the poster. The second time was the actual framed print. I have it sitting next to me at the moment while I'm thinking about where to hang it. It measures 21.5" by 13.5" with a gold frame. It's an extremely close copy to the poster except the color is darker and Jesus has a halo. He's watching the city by night. He's separated from it, yet the look on his face is compassion. I can identify with this. This is an amazing coincidence that I find this picture in my workroom today of all the days. It must have been in the church for 30 years or so in some back closet, but someone put it in my workroom for me to find. Thank you God. That was a cool one. It reminds me that even though he knew the people of Jerusalem would turn on him, He still loved them. He was looking at the world without judgement. 

This situation happened very quickly. I didn't stop to pray and ask for God to work through me. Instead I acted on my own. I know what I did wrong. It was pride. I thought I could handle it on my own. I'm still a stupid human. No I didn't get hurt except my ego. 

Normally at these shows I'm able to transmute the energy and use it. I'm filled with energy! That's why I love going. The vibe at this show was different. My mood going in was different. Nothing happened the way I expected. The one thing I normally do that I didn't do this time was pray. Before the show starts I usually pray for everyone and ask God to give me strength to last the night. These show are very physical. I'm an old man. I need that energy. It's a great thing to be able to connect to the entire crowd. The energy from them makes me feel like a teenager again. This time I messed it up from the beginning. I was waiting at the front of the stage for an hour or so for the show to start. The whole time I'm looking around at these people I despise. It was wrong. I fill myself with anger and you can guess what I received in return. 

I haven't been able to shake this feeling of resentment, anger, frustration, despise for the human race. People around me have been extremely stressed lately. The past few months have been very off. I know it's a spiritual attack. I'm using it to work through all the negative emotions I'm holding onto from the past. I know I could be a healer if I would drop this. It's a major spiritual conflict to love all people and hate them at the same time. This is definitely my biggest issue as an Empath. 

Thank you  @michelle, I very much appreciate your input. I see the enemy as weak but not ineffective. These beings are much smarter than I am. I underestimated the influence the enemy has on others. I try to remind myself that what I read from them isn't who they really are. I do the same things they do. I'm no different. I'm no better. It's judgment and pride I allow to get between me and God. Once I do I can't hear that quiet voice. I'm going to meditate on this for awhile. It seems to always come back to forgiveness. I haven't forgiven them all.   

@cheshire-cat- I'm an esoteric Christian. I decided this after listening to Mark Passio. To me it isn't important if Jesus actually existed, although, it's much easier to believe He did than not. It's the example he set that we emulate. Therein lies the power and freedom from the slavery of the enemy. Jordan Peterson put it another way. He doesn't claim to believe in God. He acts as though God exist. 

I tried to get in between two women at a rock show last saturday. I had to. The aggressor in this situation had no reason to pick on this girl standing in front of her. She just wanted to fight. So I worked my way in the middle of it attempting to block her. It didn't do much good. Instead, her boyfriend and his friends came after me. By trying to stop the conflict I simply made myself the target. I figured it was better for me to take the brunt of the attack than this poor woman just trying to enjoy the show. I left with a feeling that the world is falling apart and there is nothing I can do about it. I can't control the spirits of others. 

I'm compelled to be the peace maker, but it rarely happens. I'm really tired of the conflict.  

Since we've come back to this topic I thought I would add a little information that suggest some of the difficulties Jesus had as an empath. 

Not even His disciples understood him while he was alive, but John wrote about an incident that doesn't get talked about much in Christian circles.  

John 2:23- But Jesus on his part knew what was in a man and did not trust himself to them because he knew all people and needed no one to bear witness about a man, for he knew himself what was in a man. 

In context, he was avoiding a group of men that wanted to talk to him after a sermon. He had also on occasion had to travel across the sea of galilee to get away from people. He needed rest. Something we can all understand. These people had to have been very draining. The mount of olives is a grave yard. This is where the garden of Gethsemane is. It's a great place to get away from people. John spoke about love. This was his message. He understood it and he had visions. Could have been an empath himself. Mary of magdala was plagued with seven demons when she met Jesus. Once again, her experience is something we can relate to. We are pretty sure that empathy is genetic. Mother Mary might have been one of the last empaths on earth before Jesus was born. Could have been that her husband Josef was as well. He acted like one. Jesus relied on women to support his ministry. Not typical for the time. He very much respected the power of women at a time when men mostly did not. I see the "gifts of the spirit" as empathic traits, all of them. I could go on and on. The Bible explains how to manipulate energy through our thoughts and behavior. God wants us all to be empath. Empathy IS the language of Heaven, and of angels. I adamantly believe this. 

I had a talk with one of my coworkers at the Baptist church. She now knows she's an empath. She had a dream about a friend that went missing. She knew where he was and they found him. I've been watching this woman for four years. Since she was 16. I could tell the first moment I saw her that she was very special. I wasn't the only one. Deacons of the church have been supporting her. One of them asked me to consider her a spiritual daughter and help her as I can. The inner circle of the church understands us. And here I thought I would be shunned if they knew about what I am. This isn't something that is openly discussed, but there are those that can hear the quietest whisper. They listen to what God tells them to do, and they support us. Not typical of most of the congregation. They don't quite understand yet, but they will. 

Healing through prayer is the greatest gift God has given us. Belief is the power behind it. Faith is belief in things not seen. Belief without evidence. He's building our faith by not making the evidence appear obvious, but after you take the leap of faith you see it. Our power is a creative unsertiny that we choose to use, or not. Please, use it as often as you can. 

I love all animals, but the ones I dislike the most are dogs. Oddly enough, the ones I've liked the most are also dogs. I don't necessarily favor dogs, but let's be honest, they are better companions than humans. The dogs I don't like are wild dogs and coyotes, for the most part. 

I have two dogs and 16 cats. My wife takes care of the dogs and I take care of the cats,. I've always had cats growing up. I did have a rat for a awhile that I was very attached to, but mostly cats. They help me ground out the negative energy at the end of the day. Any time I take a nap I wake up with one or two cats on me. It seems the worse I feel, the more they want my attention. 

I've had the most fun this year watching wild life here in east texas. I watch the deer and the foxes and skunks and big texas sized rats. I have a racoon that crawls through the cat door daily for a snack. I call him Edgar. I talk to him and he shows me his teeth. The cats think he's another cat. Now the foxes down here are somewhat unique. They are related to dogs, but they act mostly like wild cats, they're about the same size. I've had stare downs with them where they just keep distance and watch me back. I can sneak up on them rather easy, unlike wild cats. When the males are hunting bugs they are unaware of my presence if I don't make noise or move to fast. The females are very smart. One tried to lure me away from her den. She didn't fool me for long through. I turned around to look for it and found two cubs playing. Then she made a really cool sound and cubs ran into the brush and disappeared. I don't consider them as empathic as dogs are, but I don't see them as true predators(that would kill for fun), either.

Thank you for sharing @michelle. It's good to be reminded of the benefit of being an empath. It's my greatest joy to be of service.

Being a male empath my answers are a little different.

1) Sensitivity to chemicals as well as radiation from what I call synthetic electrical generation. This is energy coming from high tension wires and transfer stations. It's very different from electrical storms. It isn't the electromagnetic fields so much as it's the radiation coming from them. Within the field it's concentrated, but it's the radiation that I feel. Wifi is getting stronger and I notice it more now days. 

2) I eat anything I can because I hate going to the grocery store.

3) Daredevil and Aquaman. Daredevils super powers are that he can see better than normal people do because he's blind, and that he can take a beating. Aquaman is just cool. I want to live underwater and talk to fish all day. I have a danger sense like spiderman. This is what has protected me and the people around me the most. No one knows about it because the danger doesn't happen. I see it before hand and do something to stop it. This includes dangers from chemical/bacterial/viral exposure. Having said that, I've also seen a lot of dead bodies lately. I'm not always there in time, or can do anything. I pray a lot. That's my superpower.

4) INFP-T 

Also, I don't LOL, I GTMS.

Wow, you kind of nailed. I went through the test pretty quick but I'm a INFP-T, and no I don't know that means. This what I got:

Mediator personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, Mediators have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the Mediator personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.

@cheshire-cat- You brought up something interesting that I've been trying to wrap my mind around. I took a look at the Myers-Briggs test to see what J was, which is judging or perceiving. I've heard it said that we shouldn't be judging anything or any one. Why? Because we are mostly wrong. We perceive a situation from a fixed perspective and we look for what we want to see based on where we are at. We don't see everything, only what is in our limited perception. We misjudge the rest. This makes us think we need to react. Reaction is always wrong. We are fallible humans and don't really understand what we want to happen anyway. We want to be right, we want to be fair and just, but we lack a true concept of what that is. 

Then, on the other hand, our judgment keeps us safe. Or does it? When we see what is inside a person we use that to predict future behavior. At that point we only see what we are looking for. We adjust our behavior to negate the effect others have over us. In this case, we react out of fear. I do it when I don't want to be around a certain person thinking they will drain me, or their emotional output is to strong. I want to be free of this. I would rather there be no effect so I don't have to think about what could happen. This is why I don't judge. Well, I still do. I should say this is why I judge less. When I feel weak and have deal with the overall effect people have on me. I just go away to be alone. If I don't care about the effect I can do what I want. I despise humanity because I'm affected. I want to be free of this too. All I can do is let things happen and not care. I can't control the spirit of others but I can control my own. By doing so, I rely more and more on my Guides and less on my pathetic understanding. This is what God wants from me. To rely solely on God to protect me. It allows me to give up worry. This is what freedom looks like. 

This goes back to emotional eating, as well as, other things we do to feel better in bad situations. If I could put away all my vices, I do believe God would step in and fill the void with Joy. He has many times before. I block it by doing things my own way. My reaction to being drained is to eat a bunch of M&M's to raise my blood sugar level enough to continue working. Problem is it isn't sustainable. It isn't the best way of dealing. I need to switch back to nuts for protein. I'm looking for a quick fix with sugar. I'm still in instant gratification mode. 

This job has had me focus more on grounding and meditating. I clean a preschool everyday. Glue, glitter, paint, and the energy they leave behind. I have to do a lot of grounding throughout the day. I have at max a two hour window where I can get things done before I have to take a break and go to the woods. I take naps in my van and eat carbs like crazy. There are five pizzas in the fridge of the church and I'm the only one who's eating them! I could be upset that I'm the only one who feels this crappy feeling of being drained and try to protect myself, or I can let it happen and be grateful that others understand a little of what I have to go through. It's my purpose in this life to clean up after them. That gives me joy. 

Cat, I have to deal with physical pain everyday to do what I do. Previous injuries are now permanent. In comparison to emotional pain, it's nothing. It's dealing with both at the same time that gets to me. Staying positive is hard when your sick and in pain. That is the most important time to be positive! It's how we overcome. We have to "Let go, and let God". Love you, Cat.

I realize how difficult that is to have no reaction at all. I remember times when my knees were shaking so bad it made my whole body tremble. The anxiety took control and I felt like I had no power over it. I still have to deal with it every day. The way I take power over it is to just not care what the outcome of the situation is. I have to give myself over to it. Do or die. Then I can walk thin ice without the worry of falling in. Not so simple for most. I understand. 

I had a boss not long ago that would give me these impossible tasks just to see how I would react. They were demeaning and meant to frustrate the hell out of me. Being an empath I knew what he was doing. If I had gotten frustrated, he would have made it much worse until I quit. Instead I just went along with it as though he wasn't messing with me. I never showed him any emotion. I stayed calm and relaxed and wouldn't let anything he said phase me. It's what is called a 'shit test'. If you react, you loose. Women do it to men in bars every night. They do that crap because they believe emotional people are weak. What they don't understand about empaths is that we have to deal with 1000's of emotions. They only have to deal with their own. If they became an empath for one day they would be balled up in a corner screaming and crying for it to stop. They are the weak, not us. This guy wasn't just a narc, he was a sociopath. The weakest of all.

A couple weeks ago I went to a funeral. I absolutely had to. I knew the man and his family. I wanted to be there for them. I knew what it would do to me, but I resolved myself not to care. If I had thought it would kill me I was still going to go. I have missed many funerals in the past because of fear. Yes, I was wiped out afterward, but I'm glad I went. I have a great boss now. She understands me. She has a daughter thats an empath. I just said I need to go home and take a nap, and she said "ok, thats fine, dont worry about things here". I'm very grateful for this job. It was the one God led me to. The others were jobs God used to forge my character through hard stressed situations. I'm grateful for those as well.  

At work I live off candy corn and M&M's I get out of the little bowls on the secretary's desk. She knows I'm a junky and keeps them filled for me. I don't eat sweets at home. I never made that connection till now. I always have to have sugar at work or around people. 

Narc's are always creating conflict. We avoid conflict. They are always looking for a fight they can't win, because if they win they loose. They want to drag you into a conflict. They work really hard at it at times. The best way I found to deal with them is not to react to anything they say or do. To have no reaction at all is to not allow the effect they want to see from you. The way Jesus put it was "Turn the other cheek" meaning refuse to be offended. Never show any kind of emotional reaction. After a while, the narc sees what he's doing doesn't work and moves on. They give up pretty easy. 

We as empaths have the power to defend to a great degree. We can't bring ourselves to attack others, but in defence we dominate. As long as we don't let our own emotion control us. 

About 20 years ago, I went to the dermatologist. As I was waiting for the doctor I started reading a magazine. I found a good article and was getting into it when the nurse came in to ask me some questions. She had her clipboard in hand and was filling out the paperwork for me while I read. I was very relaxed and just answered what ever she asked only half paying attention to what she was asking. She kept saying "I was about to ask you that", and "that's what I was going to ask you about".  I realized she hadn't actually asked the question before answered but I had thought she did, so I answered. I apologized, and began to pay more attention. She on the other hand got very smiley and perked up quite a bit. She really liked me for some reason. She seemed to think it was neat thing that I knew what she was thinking. In fact, she told another nurse and by the time I left they were all staring at me like I was a brand new god. It was eerie and strange. No, I don't like that kind of attention.

Since then I've come to realize that empathy is a language of sorts, but better. It's a pure form of communication. One without inference or misunderstanding. Although, the messages can get lost in the sea of information we get from reading someone through our own conscious understanding. The stuff that's important comes when I have no emotion of my own to interfere. As accurate as we can be in seeing what is in a person, we are still only going by clues that indicate a certain emotional output, reflective of our own. We have to interpret the information and decipher through the emotion. There are times when I'm with someone very open and genuine that it feels like we are of one mind. Like we are reading each others thoughts constantly. I love those people. One of these people was an in house special needs caregiver and school nurse for 40 years. She retired but still has one full time patient; a teenage girl that can't talk. Should I tell her she's an empath? I don't think so, but she tells me how she can communicate with this girl on a deeper level and if she didn't take care of her, she would never improve, but she has!

I think empathy and telepathy are one and the same with one small difference. Empathy is emotional, telepathy is unemotional. Make sense?

About 26 years ago, long before I knew much about empathy or understood what was happening to me, I made a set of runes out of wooden tiles. I had just gotten back from mexico were I learned how to make silver bracelets and rings with different stones. I used obsidian back then as a defensive measure against something I didn't understand. I studied astrology, numerology, mythology, the tarot, and feng shui. I made sigils on slate that I would hang over windows. I burned sage and incense. I carried a bone knife and warded my sanctuary. In spite of all my efforts, I can't say anything I did back then really protected me fully. It was weak magic. I was never going to get to the point of being John Constantine. 

The most powerful tools we have is our imagination and intent. These objects I was using only had as much power as I gave them. The best thing I studied at a young age was creative visualization. I practiced making that image in my mind as clear as possible. 

Satanist and others use sigils because they want power over others. I just want power over my life! Carrying stones and crystals has an effect. I see these as tools God gave us to use in order to get the point where we no longer need them. Kind of like getting over religion to get to true spirituality. Prayer has power over sigils, because our greatest power comes from outside us, not from within.

You've heard the phrase "The best defence, is a good offence'. That takes using more energy than we can create as humans. Using our own power drains our reserves and make us weak. True power comes from the Source of all power. This is power that you can channel to effect change and redirect your own power to help yourself. You have to be guided to do this. We don't instinctively know how to wield spiritual weapons. The spirit world works opposite our human nature. We have more understanding of it because of our sensitivity to the astral plane, but we have to go by hard rules. God's Law, which is Natural law, or Karmic law. The better you learn these rules, the closer you get to the Source. Runes can help guide you. God can use them just like he can use fortune cookies, or any other thing that we give the power to do so. Through our curiosity God beckons us to Him.  

@eliselebeau- You should consider it a great compliment to have your work and your ideas spread. At least they get the message, yes, but the work you have done has had a great impact on many. Over all, your spirit has changed the world and will continue to do so. My family has benefited greatly because of what you do. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your effort. Your payment for it may be deferred until you can receive it.  It will come and it will be much more than money. Whether you get credit or not, you still get the reward. In a sense, she's doing you a favor by proliferating your message. People can fool people, but God knows our heart.

This reminds me of a time when I fishing on the coast. I see these two dolphins playing really close by. They come close quite often actually, most just swim by to check us out, but these two were having fun. Someone had a dog that noticed the dolphins too. He was trying to get as close as he could to them without getting to far into the water. He so wanted to jump in and play with them. 

Dolphins are not the only sea creatures that are highly empathic. Octopus are as well. I saw an octopus being pet by his/her handler at an aquarium. It loved it. I could tell. 

I tend to believe all humans were empathic at some point in our distant evolutionary history. Then we developed language. After that, we wouldn't have to be empaths anymore. A sociopath could manipulate others with words and we would look to one as a great leader. A hunter. After that I think the empath started to die out. The empath became more and more rare until very few existed. We don't do well in the 'survival of the fittest' game. The human race has fairly recently created an environment on earth were we can do well enough to increase in number. 

I think this is what the story of the Tower of Babel is trying to explain. Mythology is a record of human understanding of the time. So we could have been the first humans, and hopefully will be the next evolution. This time, lets not let the sociopaths take over again. 

God has given us so many tools on earth to combat these spirits, but the most important power we have is faith and belief. We are guided in this battle by spirits that want us to succeed. Have no fear. We can do this.

For over 20 years I assumed I was mental ill. It was embarrassing to me. I didn't want people to know so I acted as if I was perfectly sane. I leaned how to fake it and what not to say. Now that I know that many many people share my experience, I no longer think of myself as crazy. 

I could put up over 100 people that would say I'm perfectly sane, but they would probably tell you privately that I'm a little weird. I know a few empaths that are bat nuts crazy, because of what this world does to us. I think it's good to question, but the answer is complex. We have to get to know ourselves fully to understand what is happening and why it's happening to us. 

@lisastarry6- Your welcome here. We'll entertain any thoughts you have.

Yeah, that's true. I know it's true, but I would never try to convince anyone, or even talk to them about it unless they do actually believe that we all have been living under a lie created by the devil. It does get to me that my good friends, spiritual brothers, are still susceptible to that lie. They will never know me until they can see past their religious doctrine, because we don't fit into their belief system. And that's less than half of their influence. The other is our political, financial, social group think they have to resist as well. That programming is deep seated. You have to be naturally inclined to resist it to see past it. I almost told them Jesus was an anarchist, but I stopped short before I did. Wouldn't go over well with this group, but oooooohhh, I so want too, just to see their reaction.

In this sense of the word "normal" I defined as what the majority believe is normal. The popular opinion of what is normal. By this definition, what is normal is actually crazy, so normal can be crazy. I can not get away from irony. I see it everywhere, in everything. It makes me laugh every time.

I like how this conversation went from stimulants that help with depression to "how do we get to sleep?". Cause I figure if I could sleep well I wouldn't need a constant caffeine fix to get me through the day. I sleep during the day very well. I think it's weird that we have to take drugs to act and live like normal people. 

I've heard of people grounding themselves while they sleep. It's an intriguing idea, and simple. You tie a copper wire around your big toe and connect it to a grounding rod. That's the copper rod buried 6 to 10ft in the ground somewhere close to your breaker panel if your in a house. The idea being that all negative energy has a tendency to go to ground. I would think this could keep negative spirits from messing with your dreams. Some people use aluminium foil at the foot of the bed. I think a lead sheet would work great, but I have not tried this yet. 

"In spite of the findings, the authors do not recommend that depressed adults self-medicate by increasing their caffeine consumption as an increase could result in unpleasant side effects." This was the part of the article I find hilarious. Like the increased likelihood of car accidents? Or what? 

We as a society have done massive research on caffeine. There is so much information out there that we should all feel free to self-medicate. In fact I think of all food and drink as medicine. Everything I ingest.

The source of caffeine in what ever your drinking is a factor as well. I like the effect of coffee, but my tolerance was to high. I had to cut down by switching to tea. I can't give it up. I'm an addict. Without it I don't function well. Switching to drinking nothing but black dragon pearl was the healthy alternative I could live with. My daughter likes Monster. It helps her. It's an expensive habit, but she needs something. She likes that guarana derived caffeine, and she knows it helps with depression. We all self-medicate. It's ok.

First, for you this has to be heart breaking to feel this deep pain he is in. We men want to be tougher than our emotions and end up burying that hurt deep. Denial plays a big part in that. Hate and anger are extremely powerful emotions and he has no other way to express it. I had to grow up with a narc dad that still to this day can trigger those old emotions in me. It's a major spiritual conflict to hate a person you love. The super deep emotions I'm dealing with is resentment against myself for believing what he thinks of me is true. I've forgiven my father. Now I have to forgive myself to be free of it. He'll have to learn that he doesn't have to change his father, or even have him recognize what he has done to free himself. That usually takes time and experience.  

Second, this is good! He's going through a process. Just love him through it. He can be a very powerful force for good in this world. I'm excited about his potential. He will learn to harness that energy. Please be as patient you can with him. Focus on the fact that he will recover from this and God will restore what has been taken from him. I want to pray for him if that's ok with you. It helps to have his first name.

Now as far as his ability to effect electronic devices goes, there is a scientific explanation. It has to do with the radiation that builds up in the electromagnetic field surrounding him(his aura). He's releasing it in heavy waves in these times he wants to retaliate. He's probably not a violent man, and this is the way he leaned to fight back. I would be interested in seeing what his aura looks like. If you don't see them already, CW, you could easily learn how to.

I guess you will need to protect yourself from his energy and hopefully still keep that empathic connection on full. I wouldn't try to block it, I would want to allow it to move through me without reacting to it. Easier said than done.

@spiritualskies- That's good to hear. Nothing you've said is in any way negative. I did kind of come up with a very simplistic solution that for us is just to simple. We have to be aware and deal with the effect of this negative soup that we are in as well as these entities that seem to target us. So depression is not just from within but it's also put upon us seemingly without our consent. I try to explain things as I see it from my personal experience because we are all on a unique path. We are, however, going in the same direction. I look to others for incite in getting over these obstacles in my path. I've had many of them because of those deep wounds. The ones I still have yet to heal. I'm looking for those wounds in my life that causes me to resist what is truly good for me. 

You know, I meet empaths all the time. Most are broken. Some are on drugs and living in utter confusion. Some are hermits that surround themselves with their stuff to feel protected. Some are in mental institutions. The ones I meet that are aware and actively practicing are easy to spot. They know me right away as well, and we eminently trust each other. We talk about our families and grounding because we are very concerned about each other. I'm no longer concerned about you, @spiritualskies, but we all need to be concerned about them, the broken. 

'prevention is better than cure approach' . Please, let me warn you. This did not work for me. I stayed away anyone that gave off any negative vibe. I holed myself up in a cave by a river thinking I could just wait it out and die alone. I ignored the spirits telling me to take up the challenge of restoring my soul.

"A bleeding soul, becomes a bitter mind. He said it happens every time" It's from an old song. My soul had been bleeding since early childhood. I could tell you horror stories. I did not want to be here anymore. "This is not my home,. This is not my life. This is not me. I hate this!" A quote from another old song I used as an anthem to justify my anger at the world, and of God for putting me here.  Through life, I was able to get by with these gifts I had that no else seemed to have. An awareness of impending danger kept me alive(most of the time) in spite of how suicidal I was. The knowing of another's intentions guarded me against being taken advantage of. But instead of using these gifts for their intended purpose I used them to protect myself from pain. I avoided it.

There were goods things that happened in those times too. I had a child. My greatest joy! She redirected my focus from myself to protecting her. I quit work to stay home and raise her. I had to, I'm the empath, not my wife. I was at that point willing to face what ever I had to suffer through for her benefit. I didn't want her to live with the suffering I had to endure. The emotional scars of going through the world with this "gift" are deep cuts. I wanted to spare her, but that can't happen. I wouldn't be sparing her anything. I would only be forestalling the inevitable, and that could make the pain worse. 

Suffering is good! I know, this is a backward concept. This is what drives us to move forward in this journey. We resist because we fear pain. The fear is the enemy, not the pain. in fact, the pain isn't real. It sure feels real, but I know that it isn't. We can turn it off. 

I say all this hoping you can come to an understanding I wish I had to long ago. I wish you well, and leave you with this: "What we resist, persist" Carl Jung.

Well your right, and all this negativity has a purpose. It's necessary for spiritual growth. I find that this process for my own journey has been to find out what I should resist and what I should accept. It ends up being opposite my nature. Ironic.  

Thank you. And thank you all for your support. I'm very grateful.

@spiritualskies- It isn't human nature to want to raise that level. We like to wallow in our depression. I've done plenty of it. It takes more effort to raise your vibe when depressed than when you are not. Depression has a compounding effect when your vibration bounces off of others. Well, good vibrations also have a compounding effect. I raise my own vibe by smiling big and complementing strangers. I watch their face light up and it feels good. Then I get to share that with more people. If we are to focused on ourselves and how we feel(which we again we have a natural tendency to do) we get bogged down. We need to switch our focus on others in order to help them a little and in turn help ourselves.

I no longer feel it. I believe it left because it is there anymore. I thought it would attack when I told it to leave. I waited to see what would happen. In fact, I was disappointed that nothing did happened. I wanted to see some boxes fly around the room! I want to be able say to some else that this was more than just a feeling. They discount my feeling, they discount my story, so I want to prove it. 

I told my Dad the story. He said maybe it would be better if I kept my mouth shut. I asked my Mother why is this such a tough subject for Christians? She gave me the answer, they fear the unknown. They don't want to know. My pastor has still said nothing about it for a week now. He was suppose to get back to me on whether not his friend was going to show up. I'm alone here. Nothing new.

This book makes so much sense to me. It's as if I've read it before. Most of what I've learned has been through experience. That's good and bad. It does leave a few holes in my understanding, but I know what I know because I experienced it. This book is filling in those holes for me.

I treated this entity with respect. I spoke to it honestly. I care about it in a way. Once it knew that I was aware of it we had some what of a stand off. Like when your about fight someone and your sizing each other up trying to decide if you can win this fight. I believe it felt the same way. So I took the the compassion approach. This is by far the best way to handle these types of spirits. I can see that Robert Bruce is a good man with a vast amount of knowledge on the subject. I have a hard time understanding why he would only have a 50% success rate. So far I have a 100% success rate. That may change in the future, but I don't believe it will. Not because I'm some super psychic that can command demons to bow before me. It's because I'm not alone. I'm not actually doing anything. This is authority I borrow from God. He offers us His unlimited power. I simply ask for it knowing I will receive it. It works in healing about the same way. Our only true super power is faith. These "negs" will always try to make us doubt ourselves. It we get discouraged we and can't do much at all. My faith is strong because I test it. The analogy I use is from Assassins Creed, because it is a "leap" of faith. You jump without knowing where you may land. As long as I'm doing the right things and not overly plagued with negs, that power can be channeled into doing some really amazing things. It's true that God helps those that help themselves.  

Quick update, I have been able to tolerate being in that room long enough to clean. I do it by turning on all the lights and singing the whole time I'm in it's presence. I started talking to it. I rescinded all permissions I have given it, or agreements that I've made. I reminded it that God is in full authority over it, and then I opened the door, I opened the closet door, and commanded it to leave. I waited for something to happen, but nothing did happen.

 Last time I ran into a spirit of fear like this. I commanded it to leave in Jesus' name and It did, but it attacked me on the way out. Nothing like that happened this time. I didn't wait for it to manifest. This was before the time when it normally does. So I still don't know everything I want to know about this situation. I'm still figuring it out.

An interesting thing about this room. There are two bathrooms on the east side. There is another sink in the room on the north side, and the condensate from the air conditioners drips down that wall. There are pipes everywhere. Also, this is where the pastors wife is most of the day, and she doesn't like me. I haven't won her over. Her kids ignore me and don't want me around. It may be that the spirit is influencing her, or it could be a spirit created by her? I'm not sure what this has to do with it exactly, but there is this connection of what I feel from her and what I feel from her office. I'm going to try hard to win her over.  

Hey Cat, maybe one day we'll all get together and make our own community. Just a bunch of empaths all working together to make a life for ourselves. It's possible that this is what I'm subconsciously looking for when I'm hiking through the woods, because if it did exist, that's where it would be. If I find it I'll let you know. Boy, do you need a break from city life. You all do. I feel for you guys. 

I love it. Sweeping obstacle away. Those obstacle are what get between us and God.