Forum Activity for @zacharias

Wow, you kind of nailed. I went through the test pretty quick but I'm a INFP-T, and no I don't know that means. This what I got:

Mediator personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, Mediators have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the Mediator personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.

@cheshire-cat- You brought up something interesting that I've been trying to wrap my mind around. I took a look at the Myers-Briggs test to see what J was, which is judging or perceiving. I've heard it said that we shouldn't be judging anything or any one. Why? Because we are mostly wrong. We perceive a situation from a fixed perspective and we look for what we want to see based on where we are at. We don't see everything, only what is in our limited perception. We misjudge the rest. This makes us think we need to react. Reaction is always wrong. We are fallible humans and don't really understand what we want to happen anyway. We want to be right, we want to be fair and just, but we lack a true concept of what that is. 

Then, on the other hand, our judgment keeps us safe. Or does it? When we see what is inside a person we use that to predict future behavior. At that point we only see what we are looking for. We adjust our behavior to negate the effect others have over us. In this case, we react out of fear. I do it when I don't want to be around a certain person thinking they will drain me, or their emotional output is to strong. I want to be free of this. I would rather there be no effect so I don't have to think about what could happen. This is why I don't judge. Well, I still do. I should say this is why I judge less. When I feel weak and have deal with the overall effect people have on me. I just go away to be alone. If I don't care about the effect I can do what I want. I despise humanity because I'm affected. I want to be free of this too. All I can do is let things happen and not care. I can't control the spirit of others but I can control my own. By doing so, I rely more and more on my Guides and less on my pathetic understanding. This is what God wants from me. To rely solely on God to protect me. It allows me to give up worry. This is what freedom looks like. 

This goes back to emotional eating, as well as, other things we do to feel better in bad situations. If I could put away all my vices, I do believe God would step in and fill the void with Joy. He has many times before. I block it by doing things my own way. My reaction to being drained is to eat a bunch of M&M's to raise my blood sugar level enough to continue working. Problem is it isn't sustainable. It isn't the best way of dealing. I need to switch back to nuts for protein. I'm looking for a quick fix with sugar. I'm still in instant gratification mode. 

This job has had me focus more on grounding and meditating. I clean a preschool everyday. Glue, glitter, paint, and the energy they leave behind. I have to do a lot of grounding throughout the day. I have at max a two hour window where I can get things done before I have to take a break and go to the woods. I take naps in my van and eat carbs like crazy. There are five pizzas in the fridge of the church and I'm the only one who's eating them! I could be upset that I'm the only one who feels this crappy feeling of being drained and try to protect myself, or I can let it happen and be grateful that others understand a little of what I have to go through. It's my purpose in this life to clean up after them. That gives me joy. 

Cat, I have to deal with physical pain everyday to do what I do. Previous injuries are now permanent. In comparison to emotional pain, it's nothing. It's dealing with both at the same time that gets to me. Staying positive is hard when your sick and in pain. That is the most important time to be positive! It's how we overcome. We have to "Let go, and let God". Love you, Cat.

I realize how difficult that is to have no reaction at all. I remember times when my knees were shaking so bad it made my whole body tremble. The anxiety took control and I felt like I had no power over it. I still have to deal with it every day. The way I take power over it is to just not care what the outcome of the situation is. I have to give myself over to it. Do or die. Then I can walk thin ice without the worry of falling in. Not so simple for most. I understand. 

I had a boss not long ago that would give me these impossible tasks just to see how I would react. They were demeaning and meant to frustrate the hell out of me. Being an empath I knew what he was doing. If I had gotten frustrated, he would have made it much worse until I quit. Instead I just went along with it as though he wasn't messing with me. I never showed him any emotion. I stayed calm and relaxed and wouldn't let anything he said phase me. It's what is called a 'shit test'. If you react, you loose. Women do it to men in bars every night. They do that crap because they believe emotional people are weak. What they don't understand about empaths is that we have to deal with 1000's of emotions. They only have to deal with their own. If they became an empath for one day they would be balled up in a corner screaming and crying for it to stop. They are the weak, not us. This guy wasn't just a narc, he was a sociopath. The weakest of all.

A couple weeks ago I went to a funeral. I absolutely had to. I knew the man and his family. I wanted to be there for them. I knew what it would do to me, but I resolved myself not to care. If I had thought it would kill me I was still going to go. I have missed many funerals in the past because of fear. Yes, I was wiped out afterward, but I'm glad I went. I have a great boss now. She understands me. She has a daughter thats an empath. I just said I need to go home and take a nap, and she said "ok, thats fine, dont worry about things here". I'm very grateful for this job. It was the one God led me to. The others were jobs God used to forge my character through hard stressed situations. I'm grateful for those as well.  

At work I live off candy corn and M&M's I get out of the little bowls on the secretary's desk. She knows I'm a junky and keeps them filled for me. I don't eat sweets at home. I never made that connection till now. I always have to have sugar at work or around people. 

Narc's are always creating conflict. We avoid conflict. They are always looking for a fight they can't win, because if they win they loose. They want to drag you into a conflict. They work really hard at it at times. The best way I found to deal with them is not to react to anything they say or do. To have no reaction at all is to not allow the effect they want to see from you. The way Jesus put it was "Turn the other cheek" meaning refuse to be offended. Never show any kind of emotional reaction. After a while, the narc sees what he's doing doesn't work and moves on. They give up pretty easy. 

We as empaths have the power to defend to a great degree. We can't bring ourselves to attack others, but in defence we dominate. As long as we don't let our own emotion control us. 

About 20 years ago, I went to the dermatologist. As I was waiting for the doctor I started reading a magazine. I found a good article and was getting into it when the nurse came in to ask me some questions. She had her clipboard in hand and was filling out the paperwork for me while I read. I was very relaxed and just answered what ever she asked only half paying attention to what she was asking. She kept saying "I was about to ask you that", and "that's what I was going to ask you about".  I realized she hadn't actually asked the question before answered but I had thought she did, so I answered. I apologized, and began to pay more attention. She on the other hand got very smiley and perked up quite a bit. She really liked me for some reason. She seemed to think it was neat thing that I knew what she was thinking. In fact, she told another nurse and by the time I left they were all staring at me like I was a brand new god. It was eerie and strange. No, I don't like that kind of attention.

Since then I've come to realize that empathy is a language of sorts, but better. It's a pure form of communication. One without inference or misunderstanding. Although, the messages can get lost in the sea of information we get from reading someone through our own conscious understanding. The stuff that's important comes when I have no emotion of my own to interfere. As accurate as we can be in seeing what is in a person, we are still only going by clues that indicate a certain emotional output, reflective of our own. We have to interpret the information and decipher through the emotion. There are times when I'm with someone very open and genuine that it feels like we are of one mind. Like we are reading each others thoughts constantly. I love those people. One of these people was an in house special needs caregiver and school nurse for 40 years. She retired but still has one full time patient; a teenage girl that can't talk. Should I tell her she's an empath? I don't think so, but she tells me how she can communicate with this girl on a deeper level and if she didn't take care of her, she would never improve, but she has!

I think empathy and telepathy are one and the same with one small difference. Empathy is emotional, telepathy is unemotional. Make sense?

About 26 years ago, long before I knew much about empathy or understood what was happening to me, I made a set of runes out of wooden tiles. I had just gotten back from mexico were I learned how to make silver bracelets and rings with different stones. I used obsidian back then as a defensive measure against something I didn't understand. I studied astrology, numerology, mythology, the tarot, and feng shui. I made sigils on slate that I would hang over windows. I burned sage and incense. I carried a bone knife and warded my sanctuary. In spite of all my efforts, I can't say anything I did back then really protected me fully. It was weak magic. I was never going to get to the point of being John Constantine. 

The most powerful tools we have is our imagination and intent. These objects I was using only had as much power as I gave them. The best thing I studied at a young age was creative visualization. I practiced making that image in my mind as clear as possible. 

Satanist and others use sigils because they want power over others. I just want power over my life! Carrying stones and crystals has an effect. I see these as tools God gave us to use in order to get the point where we no longer need them. Kind of like getting over religion to get to true spirituality. Prayer has power over sigils, because our greatest power comes from outside us, not from within.

You've heard the phrase "The best defence, is a good offence'. That takes using more energy than we can create as humans. Using our own power drains our reserves and make us weak. True power comes from the Source of all power. This is power that you can channel to effect change and redirect your own power to help yourself. You have to be guided to do this. We don't instinctively know how to wield spiritual weapons. The spirit world works opposite our human nature. We have more understanding of it because of our sensitivity to the astral plane, but we have to go by hard rules. God's Law, which is Natural law, or Karmic law. The better you learn these rules, the closer you get to the Source. Runes can help guide you. God can use them just like he can use fortune cookies, or any other thing that we give the power to do so. Through our curiosity God beckons us to Him.  

@eliselebeau- You should consider it a great compliment to have your work and your ideas spread. At least they get the message, yes, but the work you have done has had a great impact on many. Over all, your spirit has changed the world and will continue to do so. My family has benefited greatly because of what you do. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your effort. Your payment for it may be deferred until you can receive it.  It will come and it will be much more than money. Whether you get credit or not, you still get the reward. In a sense, she's doing you a favor by proliferating your message. People can fool people, but God knows our heart.

This reminds me of a time when I fishing on the coast. I see these two dolphins playing really close by. They come close quite often actually, most just swim by to check us out, but these two were having fun. Someone had a dog that noticed the dolphins too. He was trying to get as close as he could to them without getting to far into the water. He so wanted to jump in and play with them. 

Dolphins are not the only sea creatures that are highly empathic. Octopus are as well. I saw an octopus being pet by his/her handler at an aquarium. It loved it. I could tell. 

I tend to believe all humans were empathic at some point in our distant evolutionary history. Then we developed language. After that, we wouldn't have to be empaths anymore. A sociopath could manipulate others with words and we would look to one as a great leader. A hunter. After that I think the empath started to die out. The empath became more and more rare until very few existed. We don't do well in the 'survival of the fittest' game. The human race has fairly recently created an environment on earth were we can do well enough to increase in number. 

I think this is what the story of the Tower of Babel is trying to explain. Mythology is a record of human understanding of the time. So we could have been the first humans, and hopefully will be the next evolution. This time, lets not let the sociopaths take over again. 

God has given us so many tools on earth to combat these spirits, but the most important power we have is faith and belief. We are guided in this battle by spirits that want us to succeed. Have no fear. We can do this.

For over 20 years I assumed I was mental ill. It was embarrassing to me. I didn't want people to know so I acted as if I was perfectly sane. I leaned how to fake it and what not to say. Now that I know that many many people share my experience, I no longer think of myself as crazy. 

I could put up over 100 people that would say I'm perfectly sane, but they would probably tell you privately that I'm a little weird. I know a few empaths that are bat nuts crazy, because of what this world does to us. I think it's good to question, but the answer is complex. We have to get to know ourselves fully to understand what is happening and why it's happening to us. 

@lisastarry6- Your welcome here. We'll entertain any thoughts you have.

Yeah, that's true. I know it's true, but I would never try to convince anyone, or even talk to them about it unless they do actually believe that we all have been living under a lie created by the devil. It does get to me that my good friends, spiritual brothers, are still susceptible to that lie. They will never know me until they can see past their religious doctrine, because we don't fit into their belief system. And that's less than half of their influence. The other is our political, financial, social group think they have to resist as well. That programming is deep seated. You have to be naturally inclined to resist it to see past it. I almost told them Jesus was an anarchist, but I stopped short before I did. Wouldn't go over well with this group, but oooooohhh, I so want too, just to see their reaction.

In this sense of the word "normal" I defined as what the majority believe is normal. The popular opinion of what is normal. By this definition, what is normal is actually crazy, so normal can be crazy. I can not get away from irony. I see it everywhere, in everything. It makes me laugh every time.

I like how this conversation went from stimulants that help with depression to "how do we get to sleep?". Cause I figure if I could sleep well I wouldn't need a constant caffeine fix to get me through the day. I sleep during the day very well. I think it's weird that we have to take drugs to act and live like normal people. 

I've heard of people grounding themselves while they sleep. It's an intriguing idea, and simple. You tie a copper wire around your big toe and connect it to a grounding rod. That's the copper rod buried 6 to 10ft in the ground somewhere close to your breaker panel if your in a house. The idea being that all negative energy has a tendency to go to ground. I would think this could keep negative spirits from messing with your dreams. Some people use aluminium foil at the foot of the bed. I think a lead sheet would work great, but I have not tried this yet. 

"In spite of the findings, the authors do not recommend that depressed adults self-medicate by increasing their caffeine consumption as an increase could result in unpleasant side effects." This was the part of the article I find hilarious. Like the increased likelihood of car accidents? Or what? 

We as a society have done massive research on caffeine. There is so much information out there that we should all feel free to self-medicate. In fact I think of all food and drink as medicine. Everything I ingest.

The source of caffeine in what ever your drinking is a factor as well. I like the effect of coffee, but my tolerance was to high. I had to cut down by switching to tea. I can't give it up. I'm an addict. Without it I don't function well. Switching to drinking nothing but black dragon pearl was the healthy alternative I could live with. My daughter likes Monster. It helps her. It's an expensive habit, but she needs something. She likes that guarana derived caffeine, and she knows it helps with depression. We all self-medicate. It's ok.

First, for you this has to be heart breaking to feel this deep pain he is in. We men want to be tougher than our emotions and end up burying that hurt deep. Denial plays a big part in that. Hate and anger are extremely powerful emotions and he has no other way to express it. I had to grow up with a narc dad that still to this day can trigger those old emotions in me. It's a major spiritual conflict to hate a person you love. The super deep emotions I'm dealing with is resentment against myself for believing what he thinks of me is true. I've forgiven my father. Now I have to forgive myself to be free of it. He'll have to learn that he doesn't have to change his father, or even have him recognize what he has done to free himself. That usually takes time and experience.  

Second, this is good! He's going through a process. Just love him through it. He can be a very powerful force for good in this world. I'm excited about his potential. He will learn to harness that energy. Please be as patient you can with him. Focus on the fact that he will recover from this and God will restore what has been taken from him. I want to pray for him if that's ok with you. It helps to have his first name.

Now as far as his ability to effect electronic devices goes, there is a scientific explanation. It has to do with the radiation that builds up in the electromagnetic field surrounding him(his aura). He's releasing it in heavy waves in these times he wants to retaliate. He's probably not a violent man, and this is the way he leaned to fight back. I would be interested in seeing what his aura looks like. If you don't see them already, CW, you could easily learn how to.

I guess you will need to protect yourself from his energy and hopefully still keep that empathic connection on full. I wouldn't try to block it, I would want to allow it to move through me without reacting to it. Easier said than done.

@spiritualskies- That's good to hear. Nothing you've said is in any way negative. I did kind of come up with a very simplistic solution that for us is just to simple. We have to be aware and deal with the effect of this negative soup that we are in as well as these entities that seem to target us. So depression is not just from within but it's also put upon us seemingly without our consent. I try to explain things as I see it from my personal experience because we are all on a unique path. We are, however, going in the same direction. I look to others for incite in getting over these obstacles in my path. I've had many of them because of those deep wounds. The ones I still have yet to heal. I'm looking for those wounds in my life that causes me to resist what is truly good for me. 

You know, I meet empaths all the time. Most are broken. Some are on drugs and living in utter confusion. Some are hermits that surround themselves with their stuff to feel protected. Some are in mental institutions. The ones I meet that are aware and actively practicing are easy to spot. They know me right away as well, and we eminently trust each other. We talk about our families and grounding because we are very concerned about each other. I'm no longer concerned about you, @spiritualskies, but we all need to be concerned about them, the broken. 

'prevention is better than cure approach' . Please, let me warn you. This did not work for me. I stayed away anyone that gave off any negative vibe. I holed myself up in a cave by a river thinking I could just wait it out and die alone. I ignored the spirits telling me to take up the challenge of restoring my soul.

"A bleeding soul, becomes a bitter mind. He said it happens every time" It's from an old song. My soul had been bleeding since early childhood. I could tell you horror stories. I did not want to be here anymore. "This is not my home,. This is not my life. This is not me. I hate this!" A quote from another old song I used as an anthem to justify my anger at the world, and of God for putting me here.  Through life, I was able to get by with these gifts I had that no else seemed to have. An awareness of impending danger kept me alive(most of the time) in spite of how suicidal I was. The knowing of another's intentions guarded me against being taken advantage of. But instead of using these gifts for their intended purpose I used them to protect myself from pain. I avoided it.

There were goods things that happened in those times too. I had a child. My greatest joy! She redirected my focus from myself to protecting her. I quit work to stay home and raise her. I had to, I'm the empath, not my wife. I was at that point willing to face what ever I had to suffer through for her benefit. I didn't want her to live with the suffering I had to endure. The emotional scars of going through the world with this "gift" are deep cuts. I wanted to spare her, but that can't happen. I wouldn't be sparing her anything. I would only be forestalling the inevitable, and that could make the pain worse. 

Suffering is good! I know, this is a backward concept. This is what drives us to move forward in this journey. We resist because we fear pain. The fear is the enemy, not the pain. in fact, the pain isn't real. It sure feels real, but I know that it isn't. We can turn it off. 

I say all this hoping you can come to an understanding I wish I had to long ago. I wish you well, and leave you with this: "What we resist, persist" Carl Jung.

Well your right, and all this negativity has a purpose. It's necessary for spiritual growth. I find that this process for my own journey has been to find out what I should resist and what I should accept. It ends up being opposite my nature. Ironic.  

Thank you. And thank you all for your support. I'm very grateful.

@spiritualskies- It isn't human nature to want to raise that level. We like to wallow in our depression. I've done plenty of it. It takes more effort to raise your vibe when depressed than when you are not. Depression has a compounding effect when your vibration bounces off of others. Well, good vibrations also have a compounding effect. I raise my own vibe by smiling big and complementing strangers. I watch their face light up and it feels good. Then I get to share that with more people. If we are to focused on ourselves and how we feel(which we again we have a natural tendency to do) we get bogged down. We need to switch our focus on others in order to help them a little and in turn help ourselves.

I no longer feel it. I believe it left because it is there anymore. I thought it would attack when I told it to leave. I waited to see what would happen. In fact, I was disappointed that nothing did happened. I wanted to see some boxes fly around the room! I want to be able say to some else that this was more than just a feeling. They discount my feeling, they discount my story, so I want to prove it. 

I told my Dad the story. He said maybe it would be better if I kept my mouth shut. I asked my Mother why is this such a tough subject for Christians? She gave me the answer, they fear the unknown. They don't want to know. My pastor has still said nothing about it for a week now. He was suppose to get back to me on whether not his friend was going to show up. I'm alone here. Nothing new.

This book makes so much sense to me. It's as if I've read it before. Most of what I've learned has been through experience. That's good and bad. It does leave a few holes in my understanding, but I know what I know because I experienced it. This book is filling in those holes for me.

I treated this entity with respect. I spoke to it honestly. I care about it in a way. Once it knew that I was aware of it we had some what of a stand off. Like when your about fight someone and your sizing each other up trying to decide if you can win this fight. I believe it felt the same way. So I took the the compassion approach. This is by far the best way to handle these types of spirits. I can see that Robert Bruce is a good man with a vast amount of knowledge on the subject. I have a hard time understanding why he would only have a 50% success rate. So far I have a 100% success rate. That may change in the future, but I don't believe it will. Not because I'm some super psychic that can command demons to bow before me. It's because I'm not alone. I'm not actually doing anything. This is authority I borrow from God. He offers us His unlimited power. I simply ask for it knowing I will receive it. It works in healing about the same way. Our only true super power is faith. These "negs" will always try to make us doubt ourselves. It we get discouraged we and can't do much at all. My faith is strong because I test it. The analogy I use is from Assassins Creed, because it is a "leap" of faith. You jump without knowing where you may land. As long as I'm doing the right things and not overly plagued with negs, that power can be channeled into doing some really amazing things. It's true that God helps those that help themselves.  

Quick update, I have been able to tolerate being in that room long enough to clean. I do it by turning on all the lights and singing the whole time I'm in it's presence. I started talking to it. I rescinded all permissions I have given it, or agreements that I've made. I reminded it that God is in full authority over it, and then I opened the door, I opened the closet door, and commanded it to leave. I waited for something to happen, but nothing did happen.

 Last time I ran into a spirit of fear like this. I commanded it to leave in Jesus' name and It did, but it attacked me on the way out. Nothing like that happened this time. I didn't wait for it to manifest. This was before the time when it normally does. So I still don't know everything I want to know about this situation. I'm still figuring it out.

An interesting thing about this room. There are two bathrooms on the east side. There is another sink in the room on the north side, and the condensate from the air conditioners drips down that wall. There are pipes everywhere. Also, this is where the pastors wife is most of the day, and she doesn't like me. I haven't won her over. Her kids ignore me and don't want me around. It may be that the spirit is influencing her, or it could be a spirit created by her? I'm not sure what this has to do with it exactly, but there is this connection of what I feel from her and what I feel from her office. I'm going to try hard to win her over.  

Hey Cat, maybe one day we'll all get together and make our own community. Just a bunch of empaths all working together to make a life for ourselves. It's possible that this is what I'm subconsciously looking for when I'm hiking through the woods, because if it did exist, that's where it would be. If I find it I'll let you know. Boy, do you need a break from city life. You all do. I feel for you guys. 

I love it. Sweeping obstacle away. Those obstacle are what get between us and God. 

I've been in some very hard situations where Chinook helicopters flew over, and once at a time I felt comforted I was being watched over. I needed to know I wasn't alone. It helped me move forward. These were simple messages at perfect timing to help me through the situation. I'm not suggesting these were actual angels. To me they might as well have been. The message was clear. 

Yes, great list! The one I've never seen before on any list was Analytical Awareness. I have this innate understanding of machines. It came to me at an early age. I took apart my toys. So machines are easy to understand. I can read them as I do humans, and of course, they make more sense. They're also easier to fix. I can heal machines! It's weird that this is an empathic ability.

@spiritualskies- It's hard to find. Many Christian sites on empaths misconstrue what we are doing and the nature of our gifts. Rev. Steve Wilson and his wife wrote 'The Reluctant Empath'. So their perceptive is much more in line with ours. They see the Bible as an energy manual. 

Elijah House -Its more of a Christian therapy center, now days, but it was started by an empathic couple to work with empaths. They call us Burden Bearers. Their children are running it now. 

@hermes- Thank you! That in an excellent way to explain this interaction between narc and empath. There is a purpose to it. I've had so many relationships with narcs that it seems like half world is this way. When I'm told it's only one out of 100 people are narcs it's hard to believe. There is such a wide range of narc personalities that it could easily include 5% of the population, if not 20%. We have to bring them up too, not just those we want to be around. Learning to transmute that energy took many years of suffering through it to figure out, but I didn't really figure it out on my own. It was when I realized Jesus was an empath and must have been in absolute full control of his abilities. It was what I wanted so I follow his example. Forgiveness transmutes negative energy.

There is a lot of good advice here. Eessentially, what it comes down to being able achieve "mindlessness". The point where you are not concerned about outcome or question why or how it happens. We stop thinking it through and simply do it. Finding lost things is a good way to practice. We just go to them without thinking. It's like your spirit already knows where everything is and all you have to do is get your mind out of the way. Intuition works in the same way. You have to believe and let go of any emotional reaction to the information that naturally comes to you. It grows as you gain confidence in it. You can practice mindlessness through meditation. 

 #1 is useful when working with people you don't know in a new situation. You can anticipate what they need done when. I just wish I could work with others with this ability. It would be much less frustrating, but at least everybody likes working with me.

#2 Telepathic ability is more of a deeper understanding of the information sent through emotion. I've seen it called Tele-Empathy. That makes sense to me. If someone tried to read my thoughts, they would be erratic. Other empaths that read me seem to get a clear impression. 

#3 I've gotten impressions from objects with a strong emotional attachment. Like a doll house, for instance. The impression I got was from the man that built it.

Those are my strong abilities because I practice them. The others come and go.

Yes I ordered that book. This has been a very enlightening experience. I can feel that spirit growing through the night. It was extremely strong at 12 when I left the other night. That's new to me. I always assumed spirits can go through doors and walls like they weren't there. Maybe that was something I gathered from cartoons. This thing is localized and hasn't moved.

I've had those sharp pains before. The attack was coming from humans and I could tell which person it was coming from, but it had more to do with the emotions they were experiencing than being a concerted attack. I was the target yes, but they didn't know what they were doing.

This was an attack and I was being drained but it was so different than what I get from people. I allowed it to happen because I wanted to know about it, and I have the sanctuary to recharge. That fear is overwhelming, more than I can take. I took a martial arts stance as if I could physically fight it. That's my response to fear. I need better weapons or better tactics here. Thanks for the book recommendation, Hop. 

@nocturnes-angel- sorry, that was reaction on my part to other churches I've dealt with in the past. Doesn't really have anything to do with what we are talking about. It's something I still have to get over I guess. I was worried my pastor might turn against me. Didn't happen. 

The only dates I have to tell how long it's been there is that I first noticed it on the 4th of june. Before then the only time I've been there after 10pm was close to a year ago I had cleaned the ice machine and stayed past 12. I didn't feel it then so assume it wasn't there. This is my first week on the job.

I went back to my pastor and told him the facts. I just went through the time line of what happened then and let him sort it out for himself. Now he wants to bring in a colleague(fellow clergy) that has more experience with supernatural stuff. Which means he is concerned. Good. 

Last night I turned on all the lights and sang for 2 hours. I was able to clean up those rooms without a problem. It didn't wake up or manifest while I was there. 

@hop-daddy- I have obsidian and shungite stones with me. 

That's not a crystal. It's the egg of a Phoenix. 

@curious-child- I know where your at cause I didn't step back into a church until 2015. Back in 1988 I was considered a "problem child" and they sent me to Bethel Baptist Boys Academy in Lucedale, Mississippi. Everything that happened there is pretty well documented except for the kid they tortured to death and had us bury under 20ft of trash. So I understand how you feel. I still despise religion as a whole. I'm an anarcist/libertairan/metalhead/empath, not a baptist. I went to war with the church for 27 years. These people know this about me, and accept me anyway. Not just accept me, but love me! It's crazy, but God is that way. I still have to deal with the energy during service. It's tiring, draining, and sometimes I hide in the bathroom and wash my hands for 10 minutes. Most of the time I take a nap while the pastor is preaching. That church-energy does not always feel good, and every church has a few narcs to contend with. So I still don't like going and have to do it anyway. It's an ironic thing. 

Update: I told the pastor that something was back there and then he go's into "I don't want to discount your experience, but....". He doesn't want to believe it. After all, this is his wife's office. His kids were hanging out back there all day. Two things I know about demons is that they want to influence/control/possess us and they have to feed. It has to be feeding on the pastors family. This is why I get the reading I do from them. It's starting to make sense to me now.

Last night I stayed til 12:00am. I wanted to experiment a little. I went back there every 15 minutes to take a reading, so to speak. The feeling started at around 9:45 and was building all night. At 10:30 it was very strong. I didn't feel anything until I crossed the sanctuary barrier. What I call the sanctuary is actually a dome of light that covers the church. It's like camouflage wall that no demon can get past, but it doesn't cover the entire building. I can feel the barrier as I walk through it. It stops at the end of the hallway before you get to the back room. Her office is the one room I can't clean because of the stacks of boxes, paper, and crap. She has the most cluttered office I've ever seen. After what @hop-daddy said I do believe this is why it chose this area. It's also the darkest room. Not much sunlight at all. Now what it's purpose is I can only speculate. It has to leave. I'm not working around this thing every night. I went back there and just walked around hoping I'd see something, but the fear got to be to much and I couldn't shake it. I had to go the sanctuary(the room) and pray for awhile to get rid of it. The feeling is like the hair on my back standing up., and buzzing. As I walked away from it, I saw a flash from the bathroom like a florescent light hit by static electricity. I turned around and walked backward down the hall. The fear is to much. I know I need to control my emotions around this thing, but it's hard. I don't want to hate it, or fear it, somehow I have to love it. 

@nocturnes-angel- The obvious question was "Can a church be haunted", but what you picked up on was the question I was eluding to and didn't want to come out and ask, which is what do I do about it? I didn't want to ask because I want to do this the Christian way. The real way, not the fake way most Christians think is real. These people want to stay in their mundane world so they are not use to this sort of thing. Some are. Some deal with deamons on a regular basis. My pastor isn't one of them. I'll have to shock him into believing, because I want him to get rid of it. It's his church. 

I had to google this just to see what the result would be. Not really what I was looking for.

So I got a new job as a church custodian. It's a fun job so far. I get to work with good people, and I love the hours: 1:30pm til 10:00. On the first night i ended up working til 10:30. Well the back section of this church is the day care area and school. The teachers are dumping out all the old supplies so I'm back there all day throwing out trash. My little storage closet is back there so at the end of day I'm rushing around to finish up and head back to my closet with the cart. This is after everyone had left and I had locked up so I knew no one else was back there, but I could feel something watching me and it didn't feel like a human. I had to look through all the rooms to see if anyone was still there. The whole time the feeling I had was dread fear. It was scary. I know that wasn't my fear, but I kept thinking I'd see a ghost. Even when I walked out down the hall I had to look back with my flashlight to see if something was behind me. Chilling. Kind of neat, although it is horrible feeling. It went away as I walked to the foyer. The sanctuary still feels very peaceful. 

Well tonight I had a meeting at 7:00 so I left work early and came back at around 10:00. I did want do another check of that back area, but as I started down the hall way I decided that it could wait til tomorrow. It was that same fear again. Something back there doesn't like me. I'm not sure what to do about it. These are Baptists' so I don't know what there are going to want to do about it, but I can't just ignore it. It's pretty strong. I don't scare easy so I'm not use to this feeling. I'd rather put up a fight and get this thing to move on. It'll interfere with me working there at night and that was the whole idea. I get the place to myself, and I get to clean! When ever someone comes to my home and leaves their negative energy behind, I do a detail cleaning of all the rooms they were in. It works for me. That's what I'm trying to do at this church is do a major detail cleaning of the entire church and get paid to do it. God warned me the first day I showed up at this church 3 years ago that evil would try to enter it like a bug, but that I would have power over it(Jesus power!). This church hasn't been cleaned properly the whole time I've been there and probably much longer. 

I'm not use to dealing with this kind of spirit and this was very unexpected. I don't normally "see" spirits. I try to ignore them for the most part cause I'm constantly dealing with people spirits. I'm not going to try to deal with this alone, but I sure don't want to look like a fool in front of the pastor when I tell him his church is haunted. 

I am praying for you and the people surrounding you. I pray for protection from the energies that are attacking you, and guidance. Many times we don't know what to say or do to keep people we love from harming themselves when we can see the outcome ahead of time. Some of the best Karmic lessons are learned the hard way. When we worry and fret about it we sometimes tune out that inner voice that truly knows what to do and say. Listening to it is most difficult when we are afraid. I know this from experience. Trusting that God has our back no matter what is what gives me peace in tough situations. God is with you!

So much good advise. I'm taking it all in. This kind of feedback lets me know I'm on the right track.

I got her a copy of The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People by Judith Orloff. Hopefully she reads it and we find a therapist that has read it. 

The main priority is to help her learn who to befriend and who to keep at a distance. She has always attracted these very broken kids to her. She befriends them and is manipulated by them. Two of her friends turned on her just a few months ago. They accused her of bullying them and doing drugs, when in reality they do the drugs and the bullying. These were band kids. The school was alerted and sat them down to talk it out and sent all three to a friendship class which was actually an anti-bully class. See doesn't see them much. She's in 1st concert band, they're in 3rd. She's dreading marching band which starts in the fall. That's when she would have to deal with them more often. She harbors resentment over it. 

The kids she hangs out with are narc children that become narc adults and just bring her down. She wouldn't talk to me about it, so I'll find some one she will talk to.

Many times I came close to ending it all. I didn't necessarily want to die. I just wanted the pain to stop. I was so afraid of human interaction that I avoided it as often as I could. I couldn't deal with humans being the way they are. I hated the world. I hated life. So I relate.

Things began to change for me after the day I met God. He introduced himself and started showing me the path I needed to be on. Good thing he did because my thoughts were going further and further into the dark side. I didn't just want to die, I wanted to wipe my existence from history. I thought about killing every person that ever knew me and burning every building that had a record of who I was. I went really dark there for a time. It's easy to do when your in pain.

I can't give you a reading, but I can tell you that it gets much much better than where you are right now. We would hate to loose you. You benefit to the world is immeasurable. You'll never know your potential until you take those steps to help yourself.  Heal, Brother.

She's 16. She goes to a very large school. She's been active in band, but lately she hasn't been able cope with all the other band kids. She's been skipping band class and going to the woods. Music is her life. She's is incredibly good at it. I want so desperately to encourage her to keep going and learn to cope with that nervous energy. I try to teach her about grounding and shielding. I drop crystals and stones in her backpack, I pray for her and find others to pray with me. I don't know what else to do. 

Yesterday, she went to the school counselor and said she had suicidal thoughts. That started a major fire storm. Both my wife and I left work and went to pick her up. The counselor let us know she wouldn't be allowed to come back to school until she was evaluated. We took her to a mental hospital downtown where she talked to a doctor. They gave us some treatment recommendations that included drugs to control her mood. Mood altering anti psychotic chemicals. The kind that just about every mass killer was on at the time they did what they did. Dangerous stuff in my opinion. I let the doctor know that she is an empath, but the response I got was "has she been diagnosed?". This woman had no idea what an empath is. I was asked a number of questions and had to explain what I meant. She didn't believe me, in fact, she was angry.  That makes it that much harder to explain. I don't mind skepticism. I've had some of the best conversations with skeptics. This was different. I didn't understand this kind of reaction. I asked her if she had ever heard the term before and she said in TV shows and movies. I suggested she should look it up and do her own research. So this is not something they teach in medical school. Now I've been getting calls from the hospital asking us if we would submit our daughter for a 7 day evaluation. Well, the answer was no and will always be no. They want to study her. 

I don't know what my next move should be. I'm looking for a therapist that has an understanding of the empathic condition. Or as least works with highly sensitive people and children. Hard to find locally. 

Six years ago I met with an astrophysicist at NASA about how to cope with this empathy thing. Driving through Houston everyday was killing me inside. I was referred to him by a Shaman that was a fellow aikidoist. I trusted both of these people and respected them highly, but I didn't want to be studied. He wanted to hook me up to what ever machine they have at NASA that measures some level ESP or possibly put me in a long term study. I said no thanks. At time it didn't sound like something I wanted to do. Now I kind of wish I asked more questions and maybe consented to at least being tested. That could have contributed to the body of knowledge on this subject. Am I being to protective of my daughter by not allowing her to be examined?    

I need suggestions on what to do and maybe your personal experiences at 16. I dropped out of school at 16. I couldn't deal with school or much else at that time of my life. I don't want my little girl to have to go through what I did or be limited by her gift. She has a support system that understands what she has to endure. I didn't. 

Generally, We're here to raise the level of the collective conscientious. Hopefully, in balance with those that lower it, at the least. In my opinion I think it's being raised at a compounding rate. That's an indication that we are doing our job.

Individually, We all have to figure out where we can do the most good, because it's what makes us truly happy. What you can do depends on your skill set and personal sensitivities. You can become much more capable of doing some pretty amazing things if you listen to your Spirit guides. Do what they want you to do, even if you don't want to. They'll give you joy for doing the hard stuff.

Then there's the burden. We bear the burdens of the world and put them in the ground. Rinse,repeat.

What keeps me going is knowing God has a plan and all I need do is go along with it. The reason we are on a need-to-know basis is because otherwise we would interfere. It's our nature.

Yes, disliking someone is judging. I hate to say that since I dislike everyone. I don't like people, they make me feel creepy! I don't want to feel that way. Some are better than others, yes, but they all eventually show me something I don't want to see. I want to tell them not to be that way. If I did they would get really creepy. So I'm stuck. I can't change them, but I can change myself. I can change how I react to them, or even learn to not react at all. 

I have a story. I always have a story. There's a narc at church. He talks to much. I worked with him for a while because he needed the help. Since he's an old vet I wanted to help him out. I knew he was lying to me. I knew he was selfish. I knew he was dangerous. I thought I could deal with him but it got frustrating. The insults I could brush off, but when he didn't pay me for my time I had had enough. I confronted him about his behavior and he went nuts. He started talking about me to the people at church. Telling lies and generally being a narc piece of shit. Instead of letting it effect me I did the opposite, as an exercise. I stopped judging him. No I can't be his friend. He'll just take advantage and put me in an unwinnable position(I can't beat him up cause he's old and feeble). I could go to the elders of the church and explain what he does. He would get angry and leave. That's what he does. I want him to stay, cause I would like to see him change. So every time I see him, I walk up to him, I shake his hand, listen to his bullshit stories and tell him to have a nice day. He no longer has any effect on me. I owe him nothing, he owes me nothing. We have no connection any more. I can honestly say I'm not angry and I understand why he is the way he is. That doesn't mean I have to like what he does, but I don't really care. I just wanted to take that power back that I gave him. The power over how I felt. The last time I saw him what I picked up on was true sadness. He wants me to be his friend. He feels he ruined our friendship. That is a big step in the right direction for a narc. I could see his sadness without feeling sad myself.

To me energetically unpleasant people ARE the dangerous people. I would rather have a knife fight with Chuck Norris than a conversation with a insecure soccer mom. Only because of how they make me feel, or do they? I know now I give that to them. I give them power over my emotional state. I don't have too. I owe them nothing. I'm pleasant to everyone. It's how I protect myself. That doesn't mean I need to figure them out or help them out. That's where judgment comes into play. We want to fix what we see is wrong with people. So we analyze and take these emotions on as our own. If you judge nothing, you take nothing. 

Yes, judgment is something we seriously need to avoid. I've heard it said that we shouldn't judge anything at all. We humans are just bad at it. I think we tend to take on more negative energy through our judgment. 

I don't want to be judgmental. I want to be understanding. So why am I still trying to judge? I see it as a method of self protection. I would like to get to the point of not feeling the need to protect myself at all. That takes the practice of allowing "bad" people close and not engaging in fear or feeling anxious about what could happen. I can do that if I allow those feelings to flow through me without taking them on as my own. That means not trying to figure them out.   

That's a good question. I think it's like a bully at school targeting the person they see as the most insecure. An easy target. We are more sensitive to the spirit world. We react.

We have much more power over them than they have over us. We can rationalize, ignore, or otherwise explain them away. Their influence is minimal for the most part, but a weak enemy will use subversive methods. They may attempt to convince us they are stronger than they are. 

You may think a spirit throwing a fan across the room is pretty shocking, but I can do the same. Afterward I can pick it up and put it back together. They can't. These entities are very limited in our realm. Good or bad they can't do much. It must be very frustrating. 

That form communication they use is emapthy. It's impression of feeling. Even for us it's still a small still voice. Once the human race has full control over our emotional state it should be easier to hear. For me it's just hard to discern what voice is what. 

Getting back to Dead Files, Amy can discern those voices! She has opened herself up to listen at great personal sacrifice. I don't think I would want to do that. I admire her for being willing. My priority is helping humans control their emotions. The spirits are on their own as far as I'm concerned. They had their chance, they may have another, but I don't care. Maybe that's why they don't bother to "talk" to me. 

You cope by finding what your looking for. Problem is you may be looking in the wrong place. It can be even harder if you don't know what it is your looking for. If your getting depressed about it, that's a good sign your about to find it. Don't give up.

This is a hard question to answer. The narcissist is normally on the other end of the emotional spectrum. An empath would need some help getting there. Someone who is more empathic and completely unaware can attach their self to a narc and begin to act like them. That wouldn't quite fit the definition of a true narc. In this case, the empath is empathicaly connected to someone they believe in and trust. They'll exude some of those characteristics but not all. Our empatic abilities grow as we use them. We all mature emotionally, or at least are suppose too. I can see how someone could suppress those qualities they were born with. It depends on how they react to abuse and trauma in their life. Didn't they continue to love those people that abused them?  

The narcissist doesn't value the emotions of others. They live in denial about who they are and have to discount the opinion of others to continue the fantasy. They have a very fragile over inflated ego that tells them they're right because they feel that they are. Their feelings are the most important thing to them. Anyone who would threaten to convince them they are wrong is in for a battle.

I've heard it said that every psychic is an empath by not every empath is a psychic. Well, I would say every sociopath is a narc, but not every narc is a sociopath. It gets complicated when you think about the full range of personality disorders. We all have some because that's the world we live in, but to answer your question now that I've thought about it, no it isn't possible. 

Sometimes people will say something that reminds me of someone in the past that hurt me somehow. I get miffed. Maybe a little upset. Then I forget about it and go on. That person didn't intend to offend me and it's easy to let go of. In that instance I know it was my own emotion and I see it as something else I need to forgive and get rid of. I hold no ill will toward that person because it was my issue to deal with.

The other night, I was in a very crowded cafe. My daughter was playing with a jazz group. I watched through the window so I could relax and enjoy it. I had a nice conversation with a woman waiting for her daughter to come pick her up. I was in good spirits, feeling fine, until after the performance. I went back in to help my girl pack up her instruments. I brushed up against a table that moved another table were a woman was sitting with her phone in hand with her arm resting on the table. I felt that reaction from her and immediately said "I'm so sorry please excuse me". She gave me a half-hearted smile. Not a big deal, yet I was so angry at this woman. It just pissed me off. She didn't accept my apology! I had to deal with that anger on the way home. Some people have an unreasonable reaction to a small slight. Most people wouldn't have known what they did. I tried to make it right. 

We all have our shit to deal with. This woman's reaction was way over blown, but she didn't show it outwardly. It was internal. Anger slaps me upside the head when it happens. People think they keep it to themselves and can feel some very strong emotions when outwardly the hide it. I always think it's me at first, then I realize it isn't. I had no reason to be angry. 

The back and forth movement of this negative energy can get rather intense. It's confusing and hard to understand. It can build up to the point where tables are flipped and noses are broken. I have to recognize it and stop it before I'm the one flipping tables. I'm the one that deals with both my anger and theirs. If I don't watch out I can project it back at them and it just builds and builds. I see it as my responsibility to dispel the energy before that happens. I'm the only one in the room that sees whats going on. 

The only way I know the difference between my emotion and someone else is to ground out before I enter the room. Bring nothing in with me. That way I know it's from them. I try not to judge it or analyze to much until later. Some people carry around some messed up crap with them and don't even know how it makes them feel. They get used to it. They learn to hide it so well we are the only ones who feel it. We are not used to it, so it can feel dramatic. 

Forgiveness is something we have to practice on a daily basis. If we don't, we can project our crap on to others just as they do and we know how it makes us feel. I don't want to do that to another person. They could be sensitive to it. Knowledge of good and evil is a heavy responsibility. I still do it anyway, because I'm human and I fail. I don't let that guilt fester because I can be forgiven. I ask God to take it from me. The unconditional love from the source of all love gives us the grace to make mistakes. Thank God I don't have to do it on my own.

Those are great questions. You already know the answer. Narcs help us as well. 

@hop-daddy- I'm thinking about starting a thread on my 25 year relationship with a narc. Or maybe write a book. One thing I'll say now is that she knows I'm an emapth. She knows her daughter is an empath. She wants to be an empath. She understands what that means yet she can't get her mind around the fact that she's a narc. She's just co-dependent. That mask never comes off.

@crystalsage- This has been a major difficulty for me most of my life. Not being able to talk honestly about my experience. When I was 6 my mother married a conservative-Christian-narc-disciplinarian. I grew up in church and everything that wasn't churchy was of the devil. So everything I did had to be hidden. I saved my lunch money to buy tapes because music was such a big part of me holding on to my sanity. They took those and my playing cards and would go though my room occasionally to take my stuff and just generally made my life hell. I hated them, I hated the church(all western religion), and stopped talking to the family for many years. 

I have a great relationship with my parents today. I go to a baptist church and most of my friends are conservative Christians. You may wonder why. It's simple, I forgive them for being stupid. To me Jesus was the ultimate empath, and the bible is an energy manual. My relationship with the Holy Spirit has proven to me that being an empath is my natural state of being. 

I would never tell most of my friends that i'm an empath and that they should accept everything I say. I don't have too. I have no need to explain. There is one deacon in the church that understands a little. I did explain to him my experience because I need his help to navigate this church thing. He knows me well enough to accept me and has seen some pretty major spiritual things happen. He meditates because the bible says too. He's open minded because God works in mysterious ways. I talk to him in his language. I'm very careful in how I explain things, but from time to time I blurt out something that throws him off. He's still confused yet knows the things I do are what God is doing through me. I'll always be the crazy weird guy in church. I don't care, they love me! They think i'm a superstar! If they knew the truth they would reject me. Once again, I don't care. They limit their understanding. I know that one day they will understand cause their spirit selves already do. They're in church cause they need help, not because they are so spiritual, but because they want to be. They are trying to become empathic. I've had to speak to the church(not preach) four times now. I always sneak in something about empathy.  

I still hate religious doctrine, but I understand the need for it. I'm very conservative in the true sense of the word. Not the limiting definition society has re-created. I think I can say this without getting political. Conservatism is a respect of all things and all people. The root word is "serve". As an empath I serve them. I respect them and have to love them where they are at. You were given an understanding that you can feel, they haven't. Know that you don't have to be understood by friends or family. God understands. 

One hundred!

@gardentiger- Yes, I hate going into bars the most. If I would be more aware and shield myself before entering, I think it would be easier. I went to a bar on Sunday because a family was having a fund raiser to pay the medical bills of their daughter with cancer. It was a good cause so it was worth it. These people are crazy. I could write an essay describing the vibe in this place. I couldn't wait to get out of there. 

@hop-daddy- The amount of spiritual activity in your home seems to me to be abnormal. I wonder why that is. I do have to deal with people leaving their energy behind after they visit. I end up doing a detail cleaning of the room they were in. I like a having a "clean" house. Because of this I don't let people come over anymore. I've been through a neighborhoods like yours were I'm constantly on guard and can't relax. I have more to worry about from live people than dead ones.

I also have 15 cats. The more the better. Cats help me clear the energy from myself as well. They seem to enjoy it. I have salt lamps and crystals everywhere. I just wouldn't want to live in a house with spirits coming and going at will. I also live more out in the country. My den is covered in wood that I oil occasionally. It's the best room in the house to take a nap. I know I do these things instinctively because it makes me feel secure. When I leave is when I get attacked by those entities that want to change my mood to something negative. I don't know what they are, but in minds eye they are dark balls that grow if I allow myself to get impatient, or angry. They seem to feed on my negative emotions. The two places I feel safe from them is church and my den. My wife is attacked constantly. I hate to say it, but I don't like sleeping in the same bed with her. She's a narc so...

@sashaw- self-love is the greatest thing you can do for others. Korny or not, it's vital to our inner being. Jesus said "Love your neighbor AS you do yourself." Not more, not less. You are worthy of love and a great asset to the world. Thank you for letting get to know you.