Empathy or projection?
Yes, disliking someone is judging. I hate to say that since I dislike everyone. I don't like people, they make me feel creepy! I don't want to feel that way. Some are better than others, yes, but they all eventually show me something I don't want to see. I want to tell them not to be that way. If I did they would get really creepy. So I'm stuck. I can't change them, but I can change myself. I can change how I react to them, or even learn to not react at all.
I have a story. I always have a story. There's a narc at church. He talks to much. I worked with him for a while because he needed the help. Since he's an old vet I wanted to help him out. I knew he was lying to me. I knew he was selfish. I knew he was dangerous. I thought I could deal with him but it got frustrating. The insults I could brush off, but when he didn't pay me for my time I had had enough. I confronted him about his behavior and he went nuts. He started talking about me to the people at church. Telling lies and generally being a narc piece of shit. Instead of letting it effect me I did the opposite, as an exercise. I stopped judging him. No I can't be his friend. He'll just take advantage and put me in an unwinnable position(I can't beat him up cause he's old and feeble). I could go to the elders of the church and explain what he does. He would get angry and leave. That's what he does. I want him to stay, cause I would like to see him change. So every time I see him, I walk up to him, I shake his hand, listen to his bullshit stories and tell him to have a nice day. He no longer has any effect on me. I owe him nothing, he owes me nothing. We have no connection any more. I can honestly say I'm not angry and I understand why he is the way he is. That doesn't mean I have to like what he does, but I don't really care. I just wanted to take that power back that I gave him. The power over how I felt. The last time I saw him what I picked up on was true sadness. He wants me to be his friend. He feels he ruined our friendship. That is a big step in the right direction for a narc. I could see his sadness without feeling sad myself.
To me energetically unpleasant people ARE the dangerous people. I would rather have a knife fight with Chuck Norris than a conversation with a insecure soccer mom. Only because of how they make me feel, or do they? I know now I give that to them. I give them power over my emotional state. I don't have too. I owe them nothing. I'm pleasant to everyone. It's how I protect myself. That doesn't mean I need to figure them out or help them out. That's where judgment comes into play. We want to fix what we see is wrong with people. So we analyze and take these emotions on as our own. If you judge nothing, you take nothing.