Forum Activity for @kate

Kate T
@kate
11/12/13 07:42:17AM
148 posts



I haven't really dwelvet yet into this area of fiction, but from what i've read, Haruki Murakami had a great impact on me because of the way he describes the realms and the psychic power of people. He writes about some pretty big things: "energy healing sessions" and stuff like that are presented as vaguely as possible in books such as "The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle" (i've read this one) is that people call fiction but are actually practiced in real life, literally. So yeah... i don't know how to say it, but this book gave me an odd feeling.

He's one of those writers that can open some doors inside a reader's mind... though it took me 3 months or so to finish the book! :)) i just felt overwhelmed after a few pages, ar first i didn't like it, but i simply told myself that it should eb worth it in the end and it will get better...

It was indeed a memorable novel, and i don't think i'll forget it too soon. I even came to like the slow pace, and that experience of war and spiritual enlightement in Mongolia... though i had to practically skip a few more scenes, some were awful ...

Kate T
@kate
10/27/13 01:20:06PM
148 posts

Going Highwire!


Empath

@Tony: i've actually done anything possible so that i ensured there aren't real medical concerns as long as i keep myself on astraight(!!) line and don't overdo things. And stress a little less. I'm somewhat conscious it's all mental, but also that everything starts from the small energetic negative imprints (again, probably generated by the way our brain perceives the things) but then again, i can make the difference between what is good for my system and what is simply not. And this difference in air, atmosphere, strikes me everytime in this environment at school, and it's something that's really hurting me everytime. I'm not the type of person to start complaining about a situation from the very first moment, but when i realise i've made a bad decision... i'm trying to find the correct mindset to be able to cope with it.

I also don't feel good about what i am supposed to do, because i feel like i need to use some energies that i had in store and i was supposed to use in college and later in life when the situation really calls for it. I am generally really conservative with my personal reserves, and after an organised period of receiving i become really active when i feel it is teh time to... but really, right now, it feels like i wanted to force myself into understanding a lesson i knew i was missing in the other environment, and now that i kind of "got it", i feel that having to live with it for another half an year will deplete me of some essential stuff i tried to gather. I had so much more patience and understanding, and desire to do stuff and participate in different things... but now my heart... it feels like it's being scratched. I cannot act like i don't feel responsible for others, i just can't... and when they refuse something that i am convienced they should do because it will make everyone's life better... i feel hurt again. And i am talking about the fact that they should have less moments of verbal impulsivity, less "i don't care" when the situation asks for responsability, less negativity and judgemental tendencies. I just want to show how nice it is embracing a different perspective on things (didi i mention that I live in a country where parents are still scarred by communism and it has been passed down to children in some cases, and fear hasn't been released yet from a lot of places?) I've had the luck to travel to amazing places... abroad, or inside my country, and spend summer in another cities which i found much more full of joy... so i kind of been able to feel and compare the differences. I'm not saying i'm always right, oh my, no, not at all, actually, i kind of agree with Socrates here"As for me, all Iknow is that I don't really know anything" ... but i also feel that we actually are given candles to guide us through the darkness :)

So I'm worried about myself, loosing my "candles" by making the fire too big, or by not maintainng it enough... i wish for real balance, and when i get it, some inner impulses make me desire something better, always... it's so contradictory. I should start wishing to gain enough wisdom to be able to appreciate what it is at the very moment it appears...

Basically, this is one of the 2 unresolved problems from childhood :( to believe or to not believe... :))

Kate T
@kate
10/26/13 04:25:26AM
148 posts

Going Highwire!


Empath

Oh, with my kilometric post, i didn't expect to get so many answers :) thank you all for the beautiful suggestions

So for the most part: yes, i'm aware of the fact that i will soon go to college and everything will end, and i know i will miss them because i still have hobbies, and i stil know nice people with who i can talk, and i liek some teachers too which are amazing, but it doesn't change the fact that when i try to "extract" my good energy there's somethign in there, something bad, which led me to an absolute nasty kind of depression from which i hardly put myself together.

Please, does anybody has any idea why this is happening when i meditate? The internal process goes as follows: i meditate/relax/exercise whatever, and i become more and more relaxed and able to "open" and sense the energies flowing in me and around. Next comes the natural balancing instinct: once i am open enough and aware of what i wish for myself, energy starts flowing and i just clean myself, i don't feel like i need an intense thinking process and direct every inch of what is happening with my thoughts, it goes on naturally. But as i start feeling better and enjoying the state in which i become more aware, there comes a horrible influx of stuff that i don't like at all. It throws me off balance and makes me feel tired due to so much fighting against it.

It is coming from the stomach area, and it is like i am able to open the door to a room full of nasty gases, let's say. I think that what i feel are stored bad energies that i can access and read, though such ideas sounds so crazy for me, like, why do i have to be the cleaning sponge of the places i go to?? Sure it is not bad at all to constantly know so much stuff about what's going around, who is feeling what and why and sometimes being able to read if something good or bad is gonna happen, but there's this downside...

So I attribute these nasty things to the classroom i am in right now. I made a stupid, baad choice. These people aren't really compatible with anything "spiritual" because they were never taught to open their mind about such things, and they are completely different from the ore understanding and much more sensible environment i'm coming from. But then there's something... evil ;)) Well, not really maybe, but i don't like it at all, and i feel like nasty stuff is directed towards me for trying to be the good fellow and cut through this fog of illusions, negative thoughts and way too pessimistic about life, because this is what i am and what i do and i do not think it is a bad thing as long as there have been positive outcomes, though after a long period of time when others come to understand the change.

Of course, i blamed myself a lot for feeling what i can feel and being what i am and wondering if it is really good because some people don't respond to my downright way of behaving when teh right time comes at all and it doesn't lead to a nice life at all, refusing what you are given... damn :(

So what is that that negative stuff i can feel coming from my stomach? Could it be my own bad past experiences yet unreleased that block me from healing myself, could it be someone that wants to harm me, or maybe a relationship with someone that still hasn't ended? (physically there has never been anything with anybody as i think i'm yet young for that, so... just emotionally?) Or it could be indeed the energy of a place i go to (my new classroom) ?

I am able to feel the change within myself (and the energies i "filter") because i'm generally peacefull, with lots of energy (i need to go the the gym or prcatice a sport periodically :)) ) i absolutely love animals and nature and i am very sensible and quite caring, but when i direct my thoughts towards an environment in which i am suppoosed to put a lot of thought and energy to build a path in this life... well, this is a biiig source of turmoil and it's throwing me off balance, and hurting me!

The only cure i've got for it is to think about my riding lessons, about the time spent at a ranch and the amazing time around horses/animals... it automatically protects me for a while, but i can't live extracting what i need from other places like that. There's also a lot of buzzing in myhead, and going to the mountains/wilderness/forests is one of the best cures for me too. So... there must be something throwing me off balance in this city/apartment/among my fiends (damn, don;t know anymore!) that shouldn't be there and i don;t wanna let it be :(

Kate T
@kate
10/20/13 12:27:48PM
148 posts

Going Highwire!


Empath

Ok, so i have a set of strange happenings that kind of seem to threaten my health if i don't do something/act while i still can. I wonder if anybody else, as highly sensitive people, go through the same struggles. Sorry of this is a lot, these thoughts are like heavy stones on my heart :(

-I have an issue with my hearth lately, as I've started feeling random aches and i feel it quite blocked somehow as much as the chest area is involed. I also endure a great deal of stress from the environment that i'm in right now, and it breaks my heart everytime to see that here i was not as well undesrtood by people and that they actually don't understand anything at all related to spirituality and co. Very sad people, very stressful environment from which i can actually recover during holidays while i don't meet them, but as soon as the school starts again... well, i just can't help it but start feeling horrible again, absorbing unwanted stuff and being pushed to the limits by some people's behaviour. I've actually always been liek that, but i learned to create a balance of some kind an actually become better and better and less affected by the bad: now that i moved the problem worsened, and my classmates are the last people on earth that could help me, as their wolf-liek behaviour simply drains me of every good feeling and patience that i have.

The stress is becoming more and more evident from my habbits: i go to sleep very late, my hair started falling more than usual, my calcium levels are going lower... and now I have this kind of pain in the heart area that would require so much meditation to find the reason and detach it! The problem is, i've tried somehow lessening the negative effect of the environment that really isn't compatible with the way i am, but things are so much adding up that i leash out at parents, i can hurt people with the way i press the deep realities i feel about them... which i shuldn't do, because of course this is not the point of having access to people's emotions on a more intense level than others! But what could i do? seriously, it is just so hard!

-So apart from the aching area around my chest/heart, and from the fact that there is a great deal of pressure on the crest of my head/shoulders, my stomach also suffers. It has a very high acidity level (stress, again) and i really have t be careful what i eat. The thing is i started feeling it from the start, how the situation wasn't looking so good. Everytime i try to meditate and clean the area though, certain people just come into my mind and it is like i CANNOT detach from them! Or they don't want to...

-The dreams. I do not know what part of me wants to escape so bad, but i had a semi-lucid dreaming occurence that totally left me reaaally dizzy. When my mother woke me up, it was like i was still in another wolrd! I felt so... so strange, i didn't like it, and i felt very tired, and teh dream involved talking to someone i never met with whom i had a link and we exchanged some things (earrings). But i had a very nasty feeling, like i was directly talking with somebody... and i remember everything. What i said, teh other person's name, how she looked like, what i did, teh environment, the colors...

-My power of thoughts are somewhat getting highwire. I simply cannot block them the way i used to: when i formulate a thought, it goes off like a torpile - the person at which is send is guaranteed to feel it! I don't know how to describe it, but i'm pretty certain that the law of sttraction works too better in my case: stuff happens as sure as i wish/think thing. people say somethign in their defense, or situation occur so that my answers are solved... i feel it is really hard, always having to be in control over what you think. I do have very intense eyes and others know me for that... i can literally transmit them what i am feeling, but i cannot open their hearts at all, God dammit, as they're like leeches!

-Coincidences. Literally, in the last month, everywhere ;)) I just think about a thing, like a song, or talk about something, then a friend of mine posts something about it or i opne the tv and there's teh same thing being debated...

-Mixed realities. I don't know what to believe in anymore to make my life happy and balanced. I am slowly integrating in my life the fact that i can feel people and read their aura and the fact that they have always affected me a lot before I learned about grounding, but i am not sure where i should stop with this "integrating process" so that i do not actually go crazy: I mean, i've met people that had such strong bio-energetic fields that small thing would remain glued to their hands (papers, pens...) and other that claimed they could move stuff with their minds (reiki prcaticioners). And how odl I am? not even 18... so everything is pretty crazy looking at this moment. Though i still play my role as a high-school teenage girl with normal friends & co, while deep inside i crave what i feel i'm starting to be pushed away from: spirituality, a compassionate heart and a deep understanding that can, however, bring me happiness, not sadness.

-Flashes about what is going to happen, or about what other think. It is crazy, it happens only about small events that are sure bound to happen in no more than 2 minutes as far as i've observed until now, and are pretty rare, but if something bad is involved... my little angel is there to warn me! (i guess, lol) Like the feeling of pressure and feeling that somethign bad is gonna happen as soon as i entered the elevator. What did i do? I ignored it and told me it's nothing. And the next moment the electricity run out and teh elevator stopped. Imagine how I felt.

-The way i can feel when others are thinking about me, seeing behind lies and everything. It's... it's a lot. I've been misunderstood in the past for that.

So because i see truth in what i've learned, i do not wish to close as i grow up, i cannot even do that to myself, loosing all this intuition, and i am determined to integrate and tell everyone around me about these things, little by little, and rise their awarness... and still keep my down-to-earth goals and live a normal life.

My mind is screwed.


updated by @kate: 09/01/18 03:46:38PM
Kate T
@kate
09/23/13 07:08:00AM
148 posts

Using supernatural powers in dreams


Empath

I have always dreamed that i can fly but i am unable to. I try, but then i think it is impossible, and so i can't really, but my mind is locked on one idea "however, you can, you can, you can". I've had this kind of dreams since childhood, during which i tried to "levitate" with my psychical body but i couldn't, and only one (imagine, one!), 1 year ago, in which i could finally lift myself above the ground, as my wish and the way i directed my thoughts was so much clearer.

I must also say that in 90% of my dreams or more i always see myself from a third point of view, always. Sometimes i get back in my body, but i often just go above and watch myself do things, somehow feeling everything when the time comes for me to experience intense emotions (grief, pain, sadness...)

In other dreams, when i was younger, i tried unsuccessfully to make things come at me, or to make things move with my hands. I could never attempt to do it, although something was telling em to try again and again and this is how my dream went on: i just tried closing the door with my mind for example, with no success. I also had the habbit of dreaming i was slown down, unable to run, practically, all kinds of stuff related to not letting one escape. I had to meet the situation head-on.

Now i'm going though a very nasty period and all my powers seem opressed again due to the environment. I feel like there is a deep pain in my heart... it has become physical, and at times my chest/heart simply hurts, and it has become harder for me to feel and send emotions to others. I also cannot enter in that certain special state and heal myself. It fels like i'm not let to, or like i am judged by others in a very hard way, like i'm doing a thing that others can't or don't know how and i shouldn't act like i'm privileged or use such means, although i feel like this is the right way, not only for me, but for everyone, to be more spiritual and accepting, not judging. Now if i meditate, i "come back" dizzy and pretty much with a lot of energy consumed instead of absorbing anything.

And what is worst... my sleep is very tensed and stressed. Something is blocked within me, and it's coming from the environment, and i don't know how to combine both, social acceptance from deep within and the right thing to be/think, spiritually talking.

So during the last year, i never had any dream of using super powers in this sense.

But i had a few very big and intense dreams that hit me out of nowhere.

One characteristic has remained however: why do i always see myself from a third point of view, judging, but feeling, trying to understand?

so basically, yeah, i had dreams in which i tried to use telekinetic powers or fly. But even more, since i was a little kid i was attracted to these kind of movies and art: people with special powers, connection with animals/nature and a deep sense of belonging to a higher cause coming from deep within. They always made me cry.

Kate T
@kate
09/07/13 03:49:44AM
148 posts

Energy Draining City


Empath

I've heard before of artificial factors that can affect the thought power/brain capacity of people on a large scale, but what about naturally "deficient" cities/areas, those with a predilection towards nastier energies building up due to geographical position or who knows what other factors? (anyone is more than welcomed to insert here their own observations and thoughts about what other factors there could be!)

Do you believe in them, has anyone actually made studies based on such observations? (decrease of happiness, difficulty in practicing energy-based alternative healings, problems with "inspiration" and "concentration" as far as arists -people that base their job on inspiration and "relativity"- are concerned, at least?)

Because i really can't seem so escape such thoughts and feelings about the town i was born in, and i am unable to find a solution to solve my problems, which actually start a slow naturally healing process everytime i go away, somewhere else (I had the chance to travel to other towns/countries during holidays since i was little, and with my general highened sensitivity, i started seeing patterns, like, 5-6 years ago)

The problem is, the more i want to solve the situation and find an escape or make a tactic for me to work and bear it, the more complicated and tangled the situation gets, and i find myself "diving" into an abyss of nasty things about people and loosing my energy, time, and concentration with such thoughts and attitude changes while nothing actually gets solved.

What i feel when i return here from other places? Restraint, too much density of negative thoughts... incidentaly, there are a number of 5 badly mentally ill people who need special attention that happen to live within 50 metres from my apartment, in the same area... we kind of got used to them, poor people, but nontheless, may they be affected too by the same thing? (i live in the centre of the town too!)

I am also too tuned into others, maybe more than into myself in the last period, and my head hurts most of the day. I cannot relax even in sleep (here, i may have a problem, i know :( ) though i'm only 17 y old, and i wished so much that i could actually forget about all these insane things and just concentrate on my life and clearing my path forward, which i feel, again, opressed from doing, and i can't find a logical reason to explain it, other than putting the fault on the influx of negative things coming from others)

But maybe i'm putting the fault on somethings else... though these are my thoughts and i was wondering if anyone happened to see similar patterns/happenings in certain areas?


updated by @kate: 09/03/18 12:22:27PM
Kate T
@kate
07/24/13 08:25:50AM
148 posts

The down of being over-zealous. Mistakes when meditating...


Empath

Is anybody able to explain what "hurting yourself" when maditating is and manifests? What does long-term applying of the law of attraction, or extensive use of the power of one's thoughts and persuasive powers in our daily life do to one's health and energy reserves?

I'm also experiencing, for the first time in my life, an inability to relax my mind while sleeping. I think it also has to do with lots of stress, wrong thoughts and a side-effect of over meditating maybe? I tried so many techniques of cleaning or energy gathering, but I never imagined it could bring harm if you keep positive intentions.. : (

My brain feels like in a vice grip everytime i wake up. But I am afraid that i relax myself I get caught in strange energies, see strange stuff, loose my grouding power and become helpless. I am afraid to let myself go because i think i overdone it a bit and now i hate the helpless sensation and the time that it takes becoming master and fully conscious over your environment and body again. I sometimes feel like tere's too much fear around me and I act like a little child trying to escape from the cruel actions of life and society, or at least surrounding my mind with these thoughts so as to prevent my core being altered, because I am a really sensitive, and i believe in happiness and peace...


updated by @kate: 02/22/17 05:46:40PM
Kate T
@kate
06/18/13 05:55:26AM
148 posts

Craziest dream so far, but... ?!


Dreams

So one thing i know for sure: the majority of my dreams start after 12:00 and they usually end just before i wake up, and because of this, i think i can recall and retell all my vivid dreams so far (over 30, seriously, some even repeat themselves, even though i dreamed them 3 years ago! T_T)

So the one from 2 days ago was... extreme. I was on another planet that didn't have any athmosphere, and yet i took is as the Earth. I was by the seaside, half of the beach was "robotic" (made of metals, etc...) but there was the sea, and a storm coming. The sky was dark, but the luxurious forest and palm trees were illuminated by a deep orange sun that setted in the distance. There was also a cottage, a biig one, built near the sea at a high altitude (probably to avoid the refluxes?)

And then, all of the sudden, earthquakes started. The earth and sand were split apart in 3 huge extremely deep holes/abysses, and i could see how they were growing bigger, as the beach was still more intact that the forest which was split apart even more. Everything started trembling, so I started floating to avoid falling in (or the gravitation simply stopped working :)) ) And then a huge fire started that burnt everything down, and within moments everything got burnt up like someone pressed a button and everything derulated on faster. There were only brown rocks left and a ladnscape like the eerie one that can be seen on photos taken on other planets.

There was nothing left, nobody living, so I started crying and left. And reached the Moon. It was an amazing place, but extremely cold in comparison with the other planet, which was warm and nice but there was also more pressure. I could suddenly see that i was underwater, searching for a form of existance and something warm, becaus ei was freezing. I was in a turquoise colored water under a thick layer of ice and everythng looked like the North Pole. So as i was searching underwater, a HUGE Orca came, but it swam like a whale, slowly, powerfully, and it was amazing, reassuring, and although it had a lot of heat in itself, the Orca-colored whale didn't remainthat calm either when it swam away from me. It had one huge, thick orange-green-yellow algae that was growing on its back, and it was searching for a way of removing it, rubbing against the ice layer without success, but regained it's calm aura soon again, although not sattisfied. I remember i wanted to have a deeper look at the algae, and as if I had spyglasses, the image was magnified and i could see how it resembled so much an Algae... I had a very lucid moment in that milisecond or who knows how much it took inside my head, but I concluded, while still in the dream, that it resembled too much a real algae like i was reading a book about them at that very moment.

And then as the Orca swam away once again, i was cold once more, but it wasn't dark, no no, i could see very well underwater. And then there startd the earthquakes, the water began vibrating, air bubbles coming from the deep from everywhere, and the Orca was desperate to save everything, it tried to swim everywhere to calm the waters, like it was the god controlling the seas. As the Orca came closer to me (i was still underwater, under the layer of ice) i had a vision about the middle of the Earth breaking loose and the yellow beautiful shining magma coming out.

It was time to get out of there, so i finally found a way to escape from the turmoil, and reached the calmness of a beach once more, although wet and cold again, but warmed a little by the sun. And like everything was written by someone, there was another beach and tropical vegetation that closely resembled the one from the other planet, only that thsi one seemed fresher and younger. And behind me it was just starting to defrost, and ice was melting, although a big part was still covered in ice. And the same deep-orang colored Sun was setting in the horizon, only that the sky and athmosphere were much calmer and brighter. The Sun, this time however, was setting to the East, as this was the dorection i was looking to (to the right side), while on the other planet i saw the Sun on the left side (West). It is the first time i dream something in such a clear 'antithesis'

And i closed my eyes, and saw that this planet, even if still trembling and shaken, was saved from exploding, and... I woke up, having to got to school!

What was that... ? o_o Shall i mention that everything was extremely vivid and colorfull... and it was like a documentary about the ending of a world, although i haven't watched one since 2 years ago when it appeared that movie 2012...

p.s: sorry for my English, still learning :d


updated by @kate: 02/23/17 01:23:12PM
Kate T
@kate
06/18/13 05:19:40AM
148 posts

Barn Owls in dreams?


Dreams

Thank you very much guys, i appreciate your time taken to interpretate this ^^

I do think it is like a warning, against not letting something precious at the mercy of fate and ignore my responsabilities, or follow others blindly instead of my own inner feelings that always have a meaning... heh : )

Kate T
@kate
05/14/13 06:59:55AM
148 posts

Feelings of being "tied"


Empath

Ok, this is a strange one.

So i know that i am living in a) a highly seismical area with low energies around (the reiki practicioners and energo-therapeuts i asked about this all said the same thing and shared the same feelings, with minimal differences about the intensity or source of these "low" influences) and it alternates with episodes of sudden bursts of really good energy (well, more rare :( )

Then there is my b) stomach energy center/chakra that gets affected around here, and this negative influence is extremely recognisable in my behaviour, as i've been lucky and had the chance to travel a lot and see new places and make friends from other countries... so since i was little and knew absolutely zero things about stuff like energy and psychic sensitivity (it actually never interested me until 2 years ago after an interesting episode) i still realised and i was wondering why "i behave like that here and like that there" and i've always been a keen observer of my own and others' personalities and behaviour. So I started to see the differences in my energy levels, despite my efforts to maintain them and not to let the more "negative" side of my personality drag me down.

And i think it's the zone's influence, although it's just a theory.

c) There are also times when i cannot "open" my mind at all, or i am unable to direct my energy to someone as it feels like my stomach/head are being tightened. And my concentration falls apart, and when i concentrate on the affected area a certain someone comes into my mind at it's annoying as hell, and i like freedom, and so i generally try breaking a tie that affects me too much, negative or not, but it never feels good (especially with my "ripping" style :)) ) and leaves me a little disorientated.

Has anyone experiences something that?

d) Then there's this strange sensation around my "neck" ever since i came from a teambuilding project and I couldn't like some of the people around there at all. What's worse, there were 3 of them who knew a lot about energies and chatted about it, and i started to talk a little about such things, intentionally using simplier words and sounding like a more observant adolescent than well-informed (more or less), and they remained surprised. But they didn't seem ill-intentoned, although i blame myself a little: maybe I talked too much.

The problem is, it wasn't the first time at all i have ever participated in a teambuilding group or extra-curricular course or team project, but it was e) THE FIRST TIME when i couldn't suffer the atmosphere at all.

And i still have this neck tightness sensation i've never had. Should I mention that during the course it actually good painful, while during the pauses or when i remained alone it lessened, no matter what my position was or what i did?

And then i was telling my best friends about it that came to the same course but observed absolutely nothing of this kind, and then one of the older ladies popped up and started to talk about the important energy center located in our necks and how my pain could be a signal of a feeling of remorse or the residual energy of another person and we were like:

" 0_o ... oook" although deep inside i started wandering whenever someone else intentionally tried to do this to me as i was the principal talker during those 6 hours in a row (with only one pause) we spent doing different things and... "teambuilding", huh.

My energy levels are generally high and i am an active person, but i was amazed of e) how tired i was after the course ended.

I thinking about meditating and consciously trying to block any possible negative infleunce that may still be coming from outside, intentionally or not, as i am starting to feel more and more tired by the days that pass and this isn't normal o__o.

f) It was also the first time when during my cambridge course, that was the day after the teambuilding course, I couldn't say anything "smart" and i was doing big pauses and i wasn't able to find my words, and i was taken by suprise by that, and the others looked at me too, as everybody knew i was the best talker form the group...

Finally the main question:Could it be just the weather? :))) I seriously have no idea. What do you guys recommend? :(I'm worried. Maybe overly coutious, but i do not what to let anything affect me by such means and in such ways without knowing the cause or final effect...


updated by @kate: 02/05/17 01:05:15AM
Kate T
@kate
04/12/13 04:10:30AM
148 posts

Barn Owls in dreams?


Dreams

Ok, so, as usual, after weeks of dreamless nights, a strange dream stroke last night: incredibly vivid, as usual, but absolutely unrelated to what happened in the last period... or maybe this is just the facade. But I haven't searched pictures with Barn owls for, what, half an year or more?

So I was in a my high-school's yard, but A LOT modified, much greener, as if it was placed in the most beautiful susburbs of a city close to a forest (european ones), but this was only the front landscape. Because I was walking around the yard and when I turned back, I saw a collegue bringing me 2 white with brown spots Barn Owls that were tied (their wings and legs) and told me "They are Huhurezi" the name for Barn Owls in my language and I vividly heard and remembered their names. Then I suddenly realised how desolated the landscape looked behind me, and there was a storm coming, and the sky was so grey and the streets were desolated and there was more Concrete than green areas, in contrast to the forest that was ahead of me.

So I took the 2 Barn owls and hid them in a bush, because I had to go... but then I returned, scared that somebody might find them. And then the fear stroke me, when I saw them again, and I couldn't get rid of one thought "The owls will die, if I don't take care of them...". And I took the one that seemed rather sick, but was so strange and had a unusual presence, and I tried to keep it in my hands and stuff like that, but people (collegues) started to gather to see the strange Owl, and wanted to touch it, and then somebody called me, but I also knew that they were harming the owl, as it needed my energy... but someone convienced me that it will be ok, and I left with the same thought "It will die..."

Then all got foggy.

Then I returned again to the garden, and there was nobody left in the garden, but only one girl, the same that handed me the Owls tied with rope,and the landscape got even more desolated, and she told me thatthe one I left had died, and it showed it to me and said "Look in what unworthy and shamefull position it died" (the same words I remember from the dream)and it was all black, instead of white with brown spots, and it looked horrible, dead at the roots of the same tree, like trying to climbe into it, and I started to cry and accuse myself, because, once again, "I knew what I had to do but decided to follow something else instead." -the same thoughts I had during the dream-

But then I saw the second owl, identical, but a little bit smaller, still alive, breathing, but still tied, somewhere next in front of the tree, and I realised it was not intelligents or special as the first one I chose but I've lost, but it could mean a new start...

And it ended.

So what could the 2 White Barn Owls binded with rope symbolically mean, and the death of the first one 'I chose'?

p.s: sorry for any possible grammatical mistake!


updated by @kate: 05/16/17 04:17:16AM
Kate T
@kate
04/09/13 01:24:00AM
148 posts

Freshly returned from a journey


Empath

Well, I've just came back from France with the theatre crew and it was awesome and we won the second place and maaany other things happened and I felt wonderful. The problem is, and I chose not to give it too much attention during the whole thing (or just as much as it was necessary, to know what kind of people I am dealing with and etc)... yeah, I'm speaking about the empath skills.

It's only now, the next day, that I can see how closed I am and how little the energy "influx" is, I mean, what I can feel is so weak, and everything is just... I don't know, 'colorless'. I tried to do a little meditation and it felt wonderful to try an open my chakras (I like using the indian system) again and feel the energy like a cold/hot shower that made me relax, but there is something else and it feel as if I am afraid to open again and, in my head, possibly starting to go through all the hell that I've been through in the last period before the 'trip'...

Being still with the head in France has it's pluses, sure, but I still feel strange, and strange enough, it isn't the first time at all when I go abroad for a week or more! It's about the... what, 6th time?

But it is the first time I'm going to another country and trying to work with energies and such, I mean, consciously thinking about them and seeing their effects and applying what I've learned and seeing the results...

It's also that I am less conscious about my body, like, I always know from the first day if I contact, god knows how, a flu or illness of any kind, or what to do in case I start feeling strange or even try and heal myself if I have a stomach problem or a pain or something similar and it often works... (huh, the power of thoughts, lol)

Even though I feel happy, I think it is justa residual energy I'm afraid to get rid of, and it doesn;t feel ok at all, because I can not sense energies at the same capacity or work with them. Fortunately, I have an appointment at a bio-therapeutist that I established before going abroad, who works with energy fields and others that helped me and my father too to recover from an operation... but God, I cannot read anything and the 'inner messages' come so slowly! I feel blindfolded. Or better, i feel enchained and a little disrooted...

Has anyone else experienced such a wide range of sensations after returning from oing abroad? What can be the causes? Simply that I didn't have time for meditation, or it is more like a natural mechanism that closed only to protect me because at the same time I am soooo tired. I slept 4 hours or maybe 5 every night, sometimes less, only once, a little more. But I repeat, I've done it before and I never felt like I do now. But ok, I must admit, it was the 'biggest' thing I went through, being in a Campus and going daily to ateliers and trips and mooooooore.

More importantly, what should I do to become... well, sensible again? Or I shouldn't do anything ?

I would SO MUCH like to hear other expeiences!

Also, it was the first time I flew by plane. When I left, I felt really good. But when I returned, it was strange to be with "the head in clouds" again and I felt liek being rooted out of somewhere...


updated by @kate: 02/15/17 09:18:51AM
Kate T
@kate
03/06/13 08:28:58AM
148 posts

Cleaning the energy absorbed


Empath

Yeah, by the way, about grounding...

I don't know if it is just an impression, although I tried to observe this thing countless times for more than 2 years, I think heights affect the quality of grounding too. Try for example grounding when you spend all your life at the 6th floor of a building, in contrast to a summer spent in a biiig apartment at the second floor...

Even at school... during the first year our classroom was on the first floor(USA)/ground floor (others) but the next year they moved us on the second floor, which was notably higher (like the third/fourth floor of a building or something) and it simply occured to me that I was more culmsy than always and a little bit harder to ground myself!(or maybe a little bit more? I dunno, I just remained with this impression but never actually tried to go deeper into the matter and find actuallywhy)

But I still don't want to jump to a conclusion, I want to build my beliefs brick by brick; I mean, I don't trust myself 100%, working with such "intangible" theories and parctices... I don't want to get vicious tenencies, fake beliefs, illusions in my head or go crazy or something similar.

What do you think about the hight "issue"?

(And the difference betwen the richness of energies during summer, in contrast to winter, but that's another story...)

Kate T
@kate
03/06/13 05:36:42AM
148 posts



I have a feeling that many of us are rather ungrounded not because it simply is in our nature to be like this, but because it is a kind of subconscious way of protecting our nervous system, a "last resort" (well not really) triggered by all the agitation, bad happenings and crazy stuff going on around us, or at least, around those unlucky enough to be born having to deal with them while at the same being extra-sensitive to stuff.

Of course it isn't always an "unlucky" thing, as what doesn't kills you, makes you stronger, but yeah, right now, i'm dealing with a looooot of confusion and agitation and it's overwhelming, and I need a lot of perseverance [and sleep] to keep myself going!

Anyway, I'd say that because of the "overwhelming" factor and the very nature of our abilities, we tend to choose that "floating-like state" in which we don't have to deal with so many strong emotions, but this thing, if done too much, isolates us from other people. And prevents one from using his abilities in the way it is meant to: helping people, not isolating from them.

I should start listening to my own advice sometimes :))

Kate T
@kate
03/06/13 05:15:52AM
148 posts

Cleaning the energy absorbed


Empath

Ok, so I have no idea how this happened, but this elder entered the room I was staying in, waiting, and I immediately sensed her anxiety and fear, not necessarly towards me, but teenagers in general or something like that I guess, I have to idea why. But her anxiety was pretty distinguishable and I think I may have let my guard down too much trying to help her: I left the apartment, felt ok, went to my own house, took something, and went out again. After the first steps I realised how I could perceive everything different. [again]

Why again? Because I immediately linked the strange feeling, confusion, and inability to be grounded with what used to happen to me a lot before I started doing meditation and going out more often: I was lost in a foating like state, but with someone's else energetic imprint. Her imprint

People on street would react different to me too, and I sensed my own energy being different than usual. I felt like I was walking in someone else's shoes. It was reaaaaaly annoying, and it still is, as I can feel right now better than 20 minutes ago, but there's still this unusual feeling and I also have different reactions and such.

I'm just angry with me that I let that happen again... when I was younger I had no idea how could I possibiy block these influxes of energies so I was constantly lost among others and I was deeply terrified of gatherings, big towns, even small crowds or speaking to too many people! My own classmates terrified me... on the other hand, in nature or around animals I was like in paradise, and everybody knew me because of this passion... I also loved soo much living in my own thoughts and fantasy world, drawing, painting, playing, crafting all the time, and more earthy experiences or bondages with anyone else except my parents or animals scared me too... this is why a biiiiig period of my childhood I was so tensed and closed!

Well, anyway,I got over it a long time ago, and it is simply horrible that I got lost again, and I am very afraid, and slightly confused, because it the last 3-4 years it never happened again at such intensity (to feel so lost in the other's energy, I mean), even though I immediately turned on some music for the chakras to help clean& ground myself. This is also happening because lately I've been feeling pretty sick and I haven't slept more than 6 hours per night for more than 3 months. Some changes in my personal life also affected me too.

I was wondering, after how much time will these odd energies be gone naturally, and my normal, anxiety-free thoughts come again?

Do i really have to leave everyday in a constant struggle to keep myself grounded?

Did you experience these things too after a lot of stress, fatigue, and not enough time to recover properly? How long do you think that It'll take me to become grounded and balanced again?


updated by @kate: 05/11/17 01:59:24PM
Kate T
@kate
02/21/13 12:33:32PM
148 posts

Cutting attachment cords?


Empath

So could someone who actually did it advise me on how it should be done? :D

Lately I've been forced to shut off my "heart" (be less aware of my surroundings) and to "attenuate" the existing attachment cords with some people because they were too many and my energy levels are rapidly falling in the last periods due to some health problems as well as a lot of stress from school and some 'love' issues...

Not to mention that my "psychichness" is extremely fragile and fluctuant in this period and I find it extremely hard to calm down my mind and control myself the way I used to. Now it would take too much time to just meditate to calm down, not to mention trying to open my chakras and becoming fully aware of everything around again... and I definetly don't have enough time during the week to reach that level at which I could actually be aware and do "works" and attempt to "cut cords" knowing deep within that I'm doing the right thing.

So ever since I moved to this new class, I observed a girl that is somehow more tuned to energies than others, as she was responding to me and I observed some patterns in her behaviour regarding my "tests" [while I had enough resources last half an year, I was able to test out these "energies" and try to expad my aura/energy/calm or activate different areas of my mind and observe patterns around me and see how people react... I saw some patterns indeed! and the ones who react faster are the boys.. xD)

But since the first time we met, she couldn't suffer me and neither could I. Of course, I wasn't looking for anything like a figt, but every time she was given the occasion, of course she wanted to do as much harm to my "social image" as possible. She's like a child with jealousy issues. But the thing is that I felt from the start there was something less normal... like a deepr connection, xD. Because I could sense her "moods" so to say too. And it was REALLY annoying... but i managed to clean the "channel" every time. Now I can't, and I do not want to, and it's annoying. How could I get rid of it and what could it mean?


updated by @kate: 01/15/17 01:35:16AM
Kate T
@kate
02/17/13 05:55:19AM
148 posts



yep... all in the First House... but the stellium itself only consists of Mars, Mercury, Neptune and Uranus.

And in my whole chart, I haveNO NEGATIVE ASPECT WHATSOEVER between planets, other than 3 semi-squares:Moon & Venus semi-square Saturn and Mars semi-square Pluto. I can guarantee however that I never felt that my life or the energies around were easy flowing... on the contrary, I'm SO MUCH struggling with my empathic powers and maintaining them open. It's like I always have an iron shield whenever the situation asks for it and I can be as cold as an iceberg, if I want to, but of course, I can't suffer doing that anymore. The world became simply BRIGHTER and happier ever since I stopped controlling myself and my... "powers", if I were to call them like that, although I don't like the way this 'nickname' sounds like we're in a SF movie ;))

Do you think that such anuninterrupted energy flow through one's natal chart can cause these energetic over-storages I seem to have if I don't do sports in a regular basis, if I don't start an argument with my parents just for the sake of create some energy around so that I can open more easily without feeling like I'm being "an unexpected flaming arrow shoot in the air", and etc...?

(Sun conj Jupiter in the twelfth house, Jupiter sitting right on the Galactic Center, at 27 degrees in Saggi...)

And I still have some problems with overcontrol...

Kate T
@kate
02/17/13 02:11:41AM
148 posts



It actually suprised me how much more accurate this Color Horoscope seemed than the traditional one, which is far more complicated and combines too many aspects of one's personality :))

I see however that Chiron is not proeminent at all, which worries me a bit as I read here that some consider it to be important (although he is standing in my 9th House in Libra, right on Spica, which is a very fortunate star... and Trines my NN).

I wonder how many similarities we can find betwen each other's charts

Also, there's almost nothing in there apparently indicating some out of the ordinary empathic powers, but i know they are there, I can feel how more and more persons(from my society at least) talk about it and is becoming something that more of us start to accept these theories about energies & co. When I am not attentive, I can sometimes pick up thoughts or ideas, especially from my brother/dad (it scares me a bit sometimes as it is simply like we can talk through telepathy or something :)). I mean, it happens to me almost on a daily basis to suddenly be hungry and want to eat a certain food and when I go to the kitchen I find my brother eating the same thing...) I can see very well through illusions and lies too, although sometimes- just to improve my situation- if I cannot use other ways and the people are bad/etc... I tend to be a "charmer" myself... and when I'm in love with someone...(an the sentiment is shared) boy, I have to do serious meditation to separate my feelings from theirs! (I wonder why Neptune isn't that proeminent. It's in my First House -in a late Capricorn degree I have to admit- and conjuncts Uranus, Mars, Mercury, Moon, Venus, ASC, sextiles Saturn and quintiles MH)

General Patterns:

Objectives and Motivations:

You prefer contact with cultivated, intelligent people who are open-minded and who are not only able to relate something of interest but also to listen attentively. You mainly socialize with acquaintances and friends with whom you can relax and enjoy time together or undertake some activity that brings you joy and draws you out of your daily routine. This provides you with positive impulses and helps you to take life more lightly.You hope to achieve a significant improvement in your situation by means of pleasant contacts and good relations. To you this prospect is a strong incentive to take the initiative yourself and to take the necessary steps.

When you desire something you take vigorous action and pull out all the stops in order to obtain it as soon as possible. Neither obstacles nor objections[...]

Distress and Problems

-You have quite idealistic expectationsof what you would like to achieve over the long run and often you are busy in your mind with your ambitious goals and dreams. etc...

-If you should suffer disappointment every now and then this is probably because you expect too much niceness, goodness and joyfulness from people, things[...]

YOUR NEEDS

No matter what happens, you insist on your right tolightheartedness. You seek a life without troubles, hardship and burdensome problems. Your daily life is typically anything but a piece of cake and you[...]

THE ROLES YOU PLAY

Using the Emergency Exit

Energetic

Ruler

Shedding Burdens

Searching for Improvement

BACKGROUND

Encouraging Yourself...

Kate T
@kate
01/14/13 01:00:40PM
148 posts

Dangerous effects after Yoga or Reiki, affecting my Empathy ?


Empath

Allright... but there's one more thing... I had a lot of connections with others, teachers too, and they were really positive, and I could transmit positive energy and extract some too, without force or anything, it was like I understood them perfectly: it was the case of 4-5 teachers and some friends too... but since the attunement, it's like me and them, and especially some 2 other best friends, are not on the same frquency... we just don't understand each other like before. I mean, I think that *I* can't do it like before. And they kind of perceive my "isolation" from them so to say. And it hurts me knowing I can't connect to them and act accordingly.[one of them is a pretty sensible Cancer, who even if doesn't know anything about energies & co, is pretty much affected by this kind of things nontheless :D]

Indeed, these connections that I had with my old class too, wasted so much energy from my part. Maybe this is why I wanted to move back so much andhad this internal struggle for so many months, but they also kind of gave me strenght, I don't know how to describe it, because it was a mutual unspoken accord, I believe, of giving and receiving energy.

It is the same in the case of a friends who doesn't live in the city... it was like we could simply sense each other while talking, but of course, I never really thought that deeply about that until 5 days ago when I first realised that I've been disconected from her and we just talk and get bored! Or maybe it's just a state of mind and it isn't their fault but mine???

Another -simplier- problem: I must close my heart chakra so many times not to feel what shouldn't be felt that I'm starting to find it more and more difficult to open it again (having moved in a new class, with my freshly lost high postion that I got used to having and people NOT SENSIBLE at all to energies & stuff like in the previous one -well, with 4 exceptions- can get very much annoying) ... like seriously, I'm not as happy as before, my stomach is still "tight" but on a lesser extent and "my heart"... oooh, shit, why did I drag myself into this... now there are so many things to consider before making a decision, to learn, and everything by myself, only by experiencing and... well, suffering, although I like it better than being just another one walking on earth blindfolded!

What should I do about those connections that I can't feel anymore? Any good Reiki technique/thoughts for Heart& Stomach chakra opening?

Kate T
@kate
01/13/13 05:13:57AM
148 posts

Dangerous effects after Yoga or Reiki, affecting my Empathy ?


Empath

Ok, I'll make a note. I'd love to go to a yoga class too, just to experience the feeling :D I'll se what I can do...

Thanks.

Kate T
@kate
01/13/13 05:10:26AM
148 posts

Dangerous effects after Yoga or Reiki, affecting my Empathy ?


Empath

Thanks Christy!

Gosh, this is getting soo strange ;)) I wonder whenever it's allright to take this path so early, I mean, I'm only 17! I'm afraid of becoming a weirdo or something... an illuminated person that doesn't fit in the society? No, this isn't what I should do/what I want. I wish to integrate the the spiritual side in my daily life, if everything indeed proves to be real. I actually started to do it some time ago (a few months before I registered here), although I kind of lost control, becoming overwhelmed with fear and everything.

I really want to treat the situation from a more logical point of wiew.

Even if the people from that Reiki course were nice and wanted to be warm trully believed in their stuff, they were at the same time pressed by so many things, talking about such BIG things kind and striving to live a normal life in the society... I don't want to be like that. Like, the inadaptable of the society. I never was like that... I like people, be them "open" to such teachings or not, I want my career to have something to do with interacting with people and talking and organising. I don't like being in the spotlight but having a close position to that would more than definetly warm my heart :))

And I really wonder whenever this course would help me more than transform me in some kind of a weirdo.

I also did something today... I was so furious and tried to stop the headache and it eventually stopped, lol. I suddenly became more aware of my surroundings and atmosphere again and realised that my lower chakras opened again, while the crown chakra closed. You know, like, regaining my empathy. But there was fear again in my stomach, and after 2 days of calm sleep and no stomach aches, I kind of freaked out again, realising I made myself sensible to the environment again, and tried to "Reiki myself" as you mentioned. As I started to actually feel pressure again in my head, I think that my lower chakras started to close again... so here comes the question: are these idea/conclusions real/plausible from an experienced person's in such things point of view, or they aren't possible at all and there may be another explanation of my "feelings" ??

p.s: I'm so sorry, I'm writing so much in every post, like I'll never have the chance to do it again :)) But I just feel like expressing everything I'm going through...

Kate T
@kate
01/12/13 01:14:06PM
148 posts

Dangerous effects after Yoga or Reiki, affecting my Empathy ?


Empath

Am I allowed to make 3 posts in a row? I have so much to say and only 15 minutes of editing, oh ;))

You know what? After all, I started to think that 70% or even more of what is happening is just a pure biochemical mechanism, like when thinking "hey, I'm an energy vampire" it's more like a self-induced delusion, and when they believe in it strongly, their bodies release a wave of endorphins or something like that... similar to the way I started to blame others because of my lack of energy, but really, it's my thoughts I should work with. That wouldn't explain the premonitions though... lol. Well, I don't negate 100% the existance of some sort of energy, waved and mind tricks, but really...

Kate T
@kate
01/12/13 12:55:41PM
148 posts

Dangerous effects after Yoga or Reiki, affecting my Empathy ?


Empath

p.s. Feeling dog-tired at night and having no desire to wake up in the morning? It has never gotten that bad before. Like, seriously, a guy did a sign 3 times on my back after 'cleaning my chakras' and the coordinator didn't even explain anything!And I'm afraid these symptoms sound like "Energy Vampires" more than ever. My whole family is affected. Do you REALLY think this is a normal process?

I wanted to ask her a few questons at the end, but there were more people waiting and she visibly didn't want to tell me anything deeper than things like "bla bla your spirit is OK. You brother is a big spirit... you want to control everything too much" and ended the conversation without any clear explanation. I called her 3 times, she didn't even answer.

That Reiki thing weakened me too much and I've already been having a hard time managing my energies... i can't just relax. I really need a strong advice... but thank you all, nevertheless, for your time spent trying to help me. I really do appreciate.

Kate T
@kate
01/12/13 12:31:06PM
148 posts

Dangerous effects after Yoga or Reiki, affecting my Empathy ?


Empath

You know Christy... under normal conditions, yeah, that's what I'd try to do.

And it generally worked for me.

But... oh... how should I put it... ever since i came from that Reiki course what I heard there pretty much obsesses me and I can barely stop the headaches. As I am writing here I feel horrible... ready to quarell with everyone. I just returned from town where I met with 2 of my best friends and I was kind of dizzy and couldn't put up a shield or make an aura around myself or do ANYTHING at ALL, not even SENSE. Not even A LITTLE. I kind of negatively affected them too... we weren't as enegetic as always, even sad and bored I would say. You know how frustrating this could be, you know, happening all of a sudden, becoming sad and disconnected, "coincidentaly" just after my first Reiki course? Unable to socialise under normal conditions? feeling like I caught a cold or something, sometimes starting shaking, being more tensed than ever?

I'm starting to wonder whenever this is good or bad, seriously, this doesn't feel good at all. I can barely concentrate too. I'm a little scared too, and I don't want to go to the next course. Now every time I try opening myself the image of the Reiki teacher telling me that I shouldn't play with such energies freely because "I break the rule" comes into my mind and I get a blockage AND a headache too. I'm so furious! My world just turned upside down.I spent so much developing my ability and now everything closed...

I don't want energy or thoughts to be forced into my head, neither I want to be manipulated or told what to do with my abilities, because I've always had good thoughts and intetions and ideals. I tried a few times an extremely good 12 D shielding technique I found on youtube, and it grounded/protected me for some time... but I can't keep my concentration forever, and if i think aboutsomething else even a little... BAM, the miraculous headache. I tell you... it's like I programmed myself to close and only let my head function. Like being trapped under some rocks with only your head out, able to see everything but unable to react.

I didn't like that reiki meeting at all: I perceived everyone to be really sad, and with so little confidence in themselves, like, extremely introverted. And the "coordonator" started to alk about things like the antichrist, equpiments that affect "our" power installed in town, and other things that pretty much scared me. It was better when I didn't know so much, and just knew how to work with myself to feel good... and I would start feeling happy again, and open, and that's all!

Now, not being able to control myself, I observed that I'm spreading both negative or positive vibes and I'm not even aware! My mother especially, who responds very quickly to my emotions and states got sick and is being really sad lately and unable to focus at work. I affected my father too, my aunts, my grandma... it just isn't right.

Now I really feel like I'm going crazy and I seriously think about telling my parents to give me a medication of some sort. I can't go on like that, I'll just destroy myself and the others around me.

Kate T
@kate
01/11/13 10:59:56PM
148 posts

Dangerous effects after Yoga or Reiki, affecting my Empathy ?


Empath

I understand... but the problem is that I know this feeling, and it is like before: I can't connect with others, I can't socialise at a normal level as I did. I just closed. I spent SO MUCH time developing this ability. It's so hard to even be happy right now. And the worst is that I can't "shut down" my head!!It's like a string is attached to the center of my head and taking away ALL my power!!! I can't shield, I can't sense, I can'y even live in the present I can only live inside my head... I can't relax, I feel heavy, my head hurts, it's so ANNOYING.

And more than anything, I'm extremely annoyed because it happened right after I came from that Reiki course. AND because I moved. I knew this would happen. I knew that I had to shut down my empathy tp "survive" so to say in this new class. But it really affects me and my relationships.

And what the hell, guuuys... a string attached to the center your head absorbing your empathy and unability to shut down your thoughts and relax that area of your head? what IS this? why do I feel it like this?

Kate T
@kate
01/11/13 10:52:54AM
148 posts

Dangerous effects after Yoga or Reiki, affecting my Empathy ?


Empath

Yeah, yoga actually helped me too many times, but indeed, it is like Tony said: only when I proceeded to ground myself and send white light to the top of my head, and open my chakras... During the Reiki course however, I think the boy actually closed my lower chakras so I would be able to maintain my crown chakra open.

I also observed that it is extremely hard being grounded and at the same time having the third eye and crown chakra open... I don't think I analyze the situation 100% correct everytime, but I started to sense pretty well when and what is happening inside me. But right now I'm very off balance: until a few minutes ago my lower centers were closed but I observed that I would still get impression about others (I have just returned from town) in the form of sudden thoughts... but I was very dreamy too, and I found it hard to concentrate while listening to others.

Now I've done something and closed my crown chakra and I feel smaller, lol. And also there's a lot of pressure in my stomach. I don't know... I wonder if I'll ever be able to be balanced most of the time :D

btw: I did Karate for 2-3 years and felt wonderful every time after (well, apart from the tiredness). I think I will start it again, but I dunno...

Kate T
@kate
01/11/13 06:43:54AM
148 posts



Yep. A lot actually. And certain people have their own "sensation"that I pick up whenever they're seriously thinking about me. For example, I start feeling warm and loving out of a sudden when a certain good friend of mine thinks seriously about me/wants to call me. I consciously realised this 4 times already. This holiday i predicted 2 times when another friend of mine would call me, but I only remember 2 or 3 times when I had the sensation that a certain someone would contact me on messenger and actually happened... (I'm only talking about the past 5 months)

I also happened to guess this summer for about 4-5 times when one of my parents would come home. So yeah... you're not the only one :;D


updated by @kate: 09/18/16 01:35:56AM
Kate T
@kate
01/11/13 06:01:38AM
148 posts

Dangerous effects after Yoga or Reiki, affecting my Empathy ?


Empath

Ok guys, thankyou very much for your last responses in the other topic :D. Now, i don't know if this is the reason for my latest anxiety and irrational fears problems, but yesterday I went to my first Reiki course, and even though it was very strange, I got a few points... now the thing is that I think I may have damaged myself after incorrect Yoga practice at home, using only my knowledge from what I've read and those guided meditation videos available on Youtube.

I think my poses were wrong or something. I mean, for a while I've been having these emotional imbalances, panic attacks(small, but huh, I guess they were...) and anxiety and irrational fears. I've never been so mentally unbalanced and this is new and exceptionally strange, for both me and my relatives/parents who are really worried.

What do you say, may this be an answer and how could I repair the damage if it's for real?

Also, although yesterday I was so happy about going to this Reiki course, today I feel very strange. Although I'm somewhat more relaxed, I actually remained with a feeling of separation. I can't feel the others anymore, not even my parents, and this thing scares the s**t out of me, because nobody told me such a feeling/state of mind could occure! My head (crown chakra I guess?) aches too (or I feel pressure, and loooooots of thoughts that I can't stop) whenever I try to relax. Also, I think I've slept for only 5 hours or so last night, and felt very strange whenever I would let my mind relax...

Is this normal? I mean, I usually felt connected to many people and friends and parents and brother, like I was bigger than my psychical body. But not sensing anything out of a sudden to me is pretty... horrible. Even though my stomach is better, I actually feel more introverted, cold and uncaring, like my chakras closed... and I feel so separated when walking on street. I don't like it. I got used to feeling everything, although lately I've been feeling powerless and without much essential energy. What could the explanation be? And yes, there was a guy who "cleaned my chakras", but I was told that the people in that room are actually good at what they do. May the feeling be coming from this? Is it ok? Should I be worried? Will it pass? I'm worried, I hope it's just a provisory state of mind... and my Empathy reactivates. Now I'm determined not to force myself or go deeper or wantto obtain more than what I am to be given...


updated by @kate: 09/04/18 10:15:44PM
Kate T
@kate
01/09/13 10:41:56PM
148 posts

So why would empathy diminish?


Empath

I hope so... but ALL THE ENTIRE winter holiday I was pressed by one thing "Should I MOVE, or not?" but after that, I would remember that everybody else said I shouldn't, and I would just regain my calm and comfort zone by thinking that I can still move back to my previous class...

but Monday I found out that the deadline for submission is over. And even if I tried to convience myself that the decision I took was good I couldn't help but feel really bad about it. Like, really bad.

And the reason why I'm chasing my own tail and writing this story over and over again is because I had this kind of feelings before... you know, stomach tightness, before something not that good actually happened. I'm worried.

After 2 years of having my own class as the source of power, now if I wake up and let my mind even a LITTLE think about the class I moved too, I would start crying, and my head will hurt and I'll get some stomach aches too. It's just horrible trying to calm myself down, affecting those around me too, but I CAN"T< IT"S LIKE something is screaming inside me and struggling and oh my god I don't know what to do this is too painfull... I can't get that inner peace back at all. I repeat, it's like I've broken a promise with my own self! Like a biiig delay in my development is coming.And it's never easy knowing you're an empath and the inner feelings and thoughts you get usually prove to be true... this is the hardest part! Again, I'm worried! Has no one experienced something like that?

I can't understand from where is all this grief and sadness coming. It's unusal, I never had it, and I should never have.... GOD WHY DIDN"T I MOVEBACK??

Kate T
@kate
01/09/13 12:29:41PM
148 posts

So why would empathy diminish?


Empath

Indeed, in my case, the quote saying that you don't realize what you have until it's gone applies very well... I laughed at them for 2 years and then I had the courage to admit it and things happened... and I realised that even though it wasn't such an "edenic" place as we had (as a class) our problems and liers and drama-queens, there was this sideI couldn't seeuntil I moved and lost the comfort. (due to stupid reasons, Goddd, but who could have guessed that I would become so interested about empathy and actually experience it...!)

Indeed, fear blocks many things. I guess the thing we fear it's fear itself. Mindblowing :))

But really, I'm worried. I want to believe that my empathy won't go away/turn off. I began to like it. And I require so much from myself... good grades, many friends, lots of activities, home early, responsible child AND internal balance. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's Reiki course, but really, I wish I could tell more people about it and about the "secrets" that seem so off to some but actually work and are real ...

Anyway, I really appreciate every answer, vicky. The best is when you have people around that think the same way as you.

I would sooo like to hear how many people here actually had premonitions/syncronicities/mind reading episodes and feared loosing their empathy and what they've done to stop something llike that from happening! :D

Kate T
@kate
01/08/13 07:39:22AM
148 posts

So why would empathy diminish?


Empath

Ok, I give up. I simply don't know how to interpret this anymore. I'll tell why I'm so concerned about a seemingly unimportant decision and I so hope someone can give me an explanation of what is happening... I mean, are these kind of thoughts/experience common among empaths?

I. So I started going through some strange things and year ago. Headaches, changes in how I perceive the world, like everything became more full of life and people were actualy there. I started to sense things, to become more sensible to those around me... I started feeling lonely again, and very bored. I thought it was because of the class I was in (28 girls, 2 boys...), I thought I was going nuts like 2 of my teachers who instead of doing their job took their time to actually tell us how to create and sense energy balls, the power of precious stones, etc... and there were many classmates who actually listened carefully every time and believed in everything.

So yeah, I freaked out, and decided to move to another class.

II. As I saw later, the "teachings" made their way to my head, in spite of my resistance. For the first time I actually admitted to myself that such things are real and I shouldn't crush my intuition and out-of-nowhere thougts about events and the world around in a corner of my mind anymore. Little by little I started to become so much warmer to the people around, I started to love crowds, although I knew that after intense socialising I needed some time to refresh my heada nd recharge my batteries.

With the good position won among my classmates, I guess I became what one could call a people's person. I finally learned how to control everything so as not to become overhelmed, for teh first time I got rid of fear, my head started to become lighter, I could speak easily... then there came the premonitions, and ability to guess things, discover the lies and one's true intent. I didn't have car/airplane/subay sickness anymore, as I discovered a way of thinking that would prevent that (somehow like visualising the energy circulating from bottom-up). Then I discovered how I could "collect" energy from those around me so as to have more energy, I discovered the power of thoughts, how I could influence one's behaviour right away by directing positive/negative thoughts to him/her. Of course i was a little too proud to use it carelessly, as I saw that there were some people who could somehow detect such "works"... I learned how to be persuasive, went to a lot of gatherings and clubs and I everything was going so well that I decided to move, to "improve" myself.

Oh dear, bad move!

III. Even though I had one beautiful summer holiday, ever since I started school I watched my powers being drawn away. Not only that the psychological tricks were good for nothing among my new classmates who are the most cynical and realist people ever, but I went in there too opened: sensed so much fear, everyone's thoughts about me, be them good or bad, so many new things that overwhelmed me. I didn't want to close again though, and the "wall trick" prevented me to fully "play". It was too good being sensible to everybody around me... it was like i was walking on the safest path ever. I felt like even on street in another city, I somehow had the knowledge to do the right thing and avoid the negativity. But I got overwhelmed by this unexplainable fear. I tried meditation, grounding, going to a psychologist to understand what was happening, maybe it was just my imagination... at first it worked, but after a while, the feeling only got worse. Then I felt like somebody as absorbing my energy every time my brain would get the "good" idea of analysing the situation I got myself into at school... having to build a new status among everyone and the teachers... and this crazy thing about chakras, the meditation that i felt I had to do like there was a countdown or something! Not to mention my daily obligations as a child/sister/student/friend... which I ultimately started to ignore after being so concerned that I ill loose my newly discovered abilities!

My daily premonitions about small but sure things started to become much more infrequent and my sensibility to the people around diminished. I started to become less confident, less persuasive, in fewer words, my empathy decreased so much that right now I'm questioning myself henever everything was an illusion or not: fortunately I actually wrote a dairy with my "premonitions" and weekly thoughts... (Oh, the shock when my mother found it! lol)

And now I seriously want to move back to my old class again.

So I'm asking for an advice: is it safe to make such a decision under the influence of fear? (yes, the subjects taught differ, but the choice for college won't be affected) I know a LOT of what happened is determined by the way I THINK, but there's also some bad influence coming from outside and I'm really afraid of loosing my empathy and there's this thing that i can't apply it at school anymore because my classmates respond to it in a very strange and annoying way. Well most of them, but it's enought ;))

Is it possible to lose your empathy by the way, and do you know any tricks that don't have any connection with meditation to help me reach my full potential?


updated by @kate: 09/02/18 05:06:48AM
Kate T
@kate
12/31/12 01:24:47AM
148 posts

Presentiments vs Rational Thinking?


Empath

I'll try. But today I'll have to go buy food with some friends, then go to the new year party, then the next day I have to meet with anotehr friend, then on the 3rd I have to go by train to another city where I'll have to meet with some more friends... and GOD, it wouldn't bother me, but I simply can't seem to maintain a guard up. I just can't. And my stomach chakra is really blocked. And the heart one too... there's a big gap coming from there in my aura, I would say, although I don't see auras and creepy things like that, I can feel tickles and sensations... and after so much time I've finally been able to see that they tend to follow a pattern... and so I came to the conclusion that auras and chakras REALLY ARE based on true things and happenings.

But it's complicated. Only a few months back I realised I've always had this problem: it's now that I've come to desperately want to put all the pieces together to make my life better. And I succeded.I mean, I've suffered a lot because of people. But then I moved to another class... where I have to adopt a totally different attitude. And I started feeling fear, and it became overwhelming, and memories started coming back, and I blamed myself once again. But I think the Fear isn't mine. I mean, 2 days ago, I was at a local with a friend drinking the best jasmine tee I've ever had, and it relaxed me so much. It was warm, and cozy, and we talked, and I was peaceful, but at one point a girl from my new class came in with some boys and all of a sudden, after looking at her for a few moments, my stomach started to tighten (or this is how it felt) and there was Fear, once again. I personally had absolutely nothing to fear: I've always had a good relationship with that girl, and she doesn't even have a good reputation to say that I was jealous or something... these kind of feelings don't define me.

But there you have. And it is not the first time I start mirroring what others are feeling [they are generally people I met before and with which (probably) I may have created/sustained attachment cords or something]. I really tend to bond with people... because this way not only I can put myself in their shoes better, but the other one feels I'm being sincere, and in return, I can feel if he/she is lying or not. Of course, not many people on which I tried this technique accepted or sustained such a deep relationship: I struggle to understand why THE HELL they prefer to go back and live in their own lies, cramped in a shell with their own thoughts without even trying to sense or hear or see the truth...

I also tend to escape in my own fantasies, and make my own illusions, and I realise that this is how this world works, but I think you get my point...and ok, at this point I may have diverged from the subject, but probably I'm just trying to find people who get the same feelings because I'm still so unsure: I mean, it's real, right? Am I just imagining things and creating my own sensations out of pointless thoughts? And what about the premonitions? I had them written down on paper. And even if they were about small things [when x came home, if something bad/good was going to happen, and while making my homework it just occured to me, more than 4 time, after maaany pages, "hey, I think I'll read this one" [we are four in the group preparing for the Cambridge certificate], and I would put an "x" behind those exercises... and boy, it happened that I read them, indeed! You can't imagine how suprised and happy I was seeing I read exactly those exercises that I "x"-ed back at home!]... but these became more and more rare, and I'm afraid I may be loosing my "touch with myself", because I can't just say "ok, I wish I had a premonition, right now" and "BAM, there you go. Thankyou, and we are looking forward to see you using our services again. Sincerely, God and His fellows."

And my perception is changing on a daily basis. This is scary allright. But instead of evolving and starting to feel that immense love for everything and happiness (like this summer, or these past 2 years), I'm becoming like I was before: kind of without will power, empty on the inside (in my hands/arms especially... I don't recognise this feeling however, what could it mean?), weak root chakra... and I SO want to return to my old class but every psychologist and person I talked to advised me NOT to do it. But I never talked to a person who believes in energies/went through the same experiences. So I'm confused. Should I accept without fighting that I'm loosing my abilities? It is just for a short period of time?...

Kate T
@kate
12/29/12 06:57:21PM
148 posts

Presentiments vs Rational Thinking?


Empath

FULL STORY

Well, I am conscious enough to realize this world isn't gonna end if I make a choice or another: the real problem is, HOWEVER, the way I've changed inwardly and I continue to change... it's an amalgam of emotions; lots of mood swings influenced by the people I'm hanging with (friends, classmates, relatives, borther... even animals!) pressure on my third eye and generally on the right side of my head too; stomach tightness, sometimes my heart feels like it's clenching up when I think about a certain person or situation or if I try to negate anything about these energy rushes I'm having or block myself, insomnias, waking up generally between 1:00-3:00 a.m. really hungry, right shoulder pain, in the past (1 or 2 years ago) I had these strange knee and back pains that eventually disappeared [pains due to fast growing (2 cm in 2 years and gained no more than 3 kg in that process, is this fast? like, seriously?-), my Doc said, finding no other explanation...], strangers come and talk to me or make affirmations like [I'll give you a more "normal" one, but generally, it happens daily, everytime I'm going out, but only if I don't control myself at all, you know, block myself, really trying not to think, judge, or anything else rather than simply being conscious of my surroundings: "don't get angry or something but you have a beautiful smile!" or "hello. Do I know you from somewhere? You seem familiar" or people talking to me while I'm walking behind them and then turning back and realising I'm just a stranger and the person they thought they were talking to is behind me or somewhere around.

I can sense and be influenced way too easilyby the negative emotions around. Like, more easily than ever.And I've always been a little more sensible. And it's SO annoying always getting a general idea of what the other is thinking... because there are SO many people thinking bad things or only in preconceived ideas. Also I know many people who like being around me for no reason, and I simply have an affinity for attracting unwanted male attention. I'm not joking. They generally feel much more easily what I'm going through and if they immediately sense (at least the boys I'm haging out with) if i'm not conmfortable at all around their friends/girlfriends. And I sense a lot of emotions and it's so hard to know this stuff and always having to concentrate!

And the problem is that I've weakened myself A LOT by continuosuly thinking about what a wrong choice I made moving to this new class. Yes, it's pretty different, although my choice for college stays the same. It's just that... I simply don't feel right about it!And with so many syncronicities happening too (yesterday: mother starts feeling bad because she has some serious problems with her gall bladder; I immediately get a nauseous sensation out of the blue and yell to my mother "Mom, do you feel allright?"... "No" comes the answer "I didn't say anything though, why do you ask?") and the really nasty feelings I'm getting from my stomach everytime I try to simply picture my new class, I started to question whenever it's my imagination or something beyond that... the thing I've always had,but tried to bury and surpress.

Because in my other class I think there were empaths too. And it was a different background/feeling. Some teachers strongly believed in these things too, and one of them, seeing that we (a.k.a. my previous collective, last year, when I hadn't chosen to move, yet) actually listen carefully instead of making fun like other classes, starting to teach us how we could "create balls of energy by rubbing our hands against each other". There were a few who laughed everytime they heard "such nonsense" of course, and I was a part of them too: back then I didn't want to belive in energy at all.

But I actually became more confident, relaxed, less hot-headed and rigid, and persuasive: I discovered how much influence the power of thought had. I may have abused it, though. I became popular, I was feeling secure, yet I felt like something was missing: we only had 2 boys in our class, there was a lot of envy, I started to find them boring, I wasn't provoked at all, I missed the feeling if competition... so I decided to move to another class thinking "ok, what could happen, let's be serious? I'll only get more fun!"

But then this mere idea became more and more suited fo rmy situation as I started seeing only the bad things: sure i felt confident and developped, again, some kind of intution I didn't really want to admit I still had - because my fellow classmatesmade fun of my sesibility and love for people or animals all my childhood and I wasn't the only victim! - so all that i could think about was that "gosh, these people are making me so sensible, they're strange, this isn't normal, something is happening". So I got really confused, blamed my episodes of sensitivity on my classmates, and moved.

But dear, how much worse it got! I mean, here, EVERYONE puts such a strain on themselves, and no one behaves naturally or let their energies flow how they should. And I felt FEAR. Immense fear of teachers, life, I don't know... but i just got lost and really affected by this predominant feeling of fear. And it feels like it's biting from my soul everytime I think about my "sensitivity" and new class. There's also a girl that i didn't like and she didn't like me from the start, too. But there were so many coincidences between me and her: meeting on street, talking at the same time, and she simply BOMBS me with negative thoughts, sometimes I actually even get glimpses of what she thinks... I guess this could be called a pretty toxic attachment tie, right? How could I get rid of her? I'm also kind of sorry for her though... I sense fear from her too.

And again, it simply doesn't feel right, being in this class. It's feels like I delayed my own evolution, or a similar feeling to the one you get when breaking a promise... and being so stressed (all these realizations, if I may call them so, came during a rather short period of time), I'm starting to have a weak immunitary system... lately I've been having a lot of stomach aches too, I guess due to the extended, rather unexplainable anxiety that I have despite of all the social situations I'm getting into and despite the fact that I talk daily with a lot of people (that I find benefic, more or less; not just "carelessly going to clubs/pubs every day").

On the other hand, when I think about my previous class and my friends there (which I meet daily, but the good feeling doesn't last for long... and they don't always have the good energies to sustain me too), I feel at ease. MUCH more at ease. I do not know any other technique to save me from the depression I may get into if I do not concentarte anough to stop myself ALL THE TIME from feeling everything... but my last chance to move back is almost gone... I only have a few days left... I'm afraid of what could happen next. I'm afraid of getting conrolled by fear and becoming unable to connect with people in the intimate way I always used to, and for which they always liked my company. I'm afraid of becoming numb and not feeling the truth in other persons, or the lies beneath their masks.

I do not know if I should move back, now that I have to take into account ALL THESE THINGS. Reading these things again I think I may sound like a megalomaniac or something, giving myself too much importance... it's just that, without any real confirmation, support or recognition, I'm afraid I'll loose it all and sink again in fear and the materialistic world. Am I too idealistic? Maybe, but boy, what a horrible feeling I had, seeing myself sink and starting to feel FEAR again... [yeah, I mentioned this word countless times!]

I tried telling everyone I trusted about it... but even though it made me feel lighter, I ended up being more and more stressed after finally taking in consideration that these things are REAL... and annoyed because I couldn't figure out a way to deal with these thoughts (blocking them would result in a mass accumulation followed by a pretty unpleasant "eruption" at a certain point) and by actually becoming weaker and weaker I actually lost their trust and my seriosity in their eyes and my grandmother kept joking [huh, more or less] about how strange I got with my energies and all...

And my common sense/normal voice is fighting with the "freaky" one/the thoughts about energies and stuff, and I'm confused, and above everything, I sometimes really don't know which I should follow. If untill now I could maintain a balance, now I reached a point where mot even drawing and gymnastics give me the necessary outlet... and here I am, still awake, after sleeping just an hour, trying to balance myself...

Kate T
@kate
12/28/12 02:37:41AM
148 posts

Presentiments vs Rational Thinking?


Empath

So now I've came to this point: should I consider myself "clear" enough to actually listen to my presentiments, take them as real and part of my own developement or ignore them, and instead apply the "common sense" and rational logic based on actual facts like for example (during the past 2 months, this has become a "normal conversation" between me and my mother)

"How can you let these sentiments control you? No, you moved to another class, and you shouldn't move back! You say that everytime you think about your old class you feel one with yourself again and get images and glimpses of what could happen or of what an action could take you to? God, are you my daughter? What happened to you? You never had such ideas before... you were stubborn, strong, you were a little big-headed... What have you been reading on that Internet thing? These are just products of your imagination!"

"Imagination? Mom, do you remember the feeling I woke up with on xx/12/2012 -the one I've even WROTE on this piece of paper as you said- and when I got to school i almost broke my neck slipping on the ice, then the teacher gave us a surprise test because my new classmates were behaving like idiots as usual, and I got a 4, then someone from my old class misinterpretated the fact that I came with a friend to give her something while they were working on a project and didn't want anybody to see it and I didn't know and we quarreled and LOTS of - ok, I admit- seemingly MINOR stuff but it isn't the first time I get feelings like these BEFORE something and you know it."

These feelings go in 2 categories: I get good feelings and a wonderful disposition when I feel like I'm one with myself (i.e: when I can "calm down my mind and listen to my heart"), when I feel my head light and my throat "clean" or something/I just know then I can talk and express myself easily and convincingly, I'm creative again (I generally draw and paint for my school magazine too, so I can clearly tell the difference between moments of creativity and the lack of it), and I really see everything from another perspective, and not only metaphorical, but it's like I'm taller or something o.o (Gosh, may i have bipolar disorder or anything like that? I mean, I'm clueless. I never went through such a big emotional upheaval, or hit my head or anything else, lol, I don't know)

And then there are these bad feelings too: when I think about something and for apparently no reason, it starts feeling like I have some strings attached to my stomach or heart and someone pulls them/or absorbs my "energy" through them. After a while I get this feeling of EMPTINESS which is so HORRIBLE and I feel powerless and I may even start to cry in disbelief because I clearly realize how my thoughts change and I become more negative without that energetic support coming from my stomach/without the courage and belief in myself and in my own future.

Now, the second case happens when I think about my new class: I get sad, have an omnious feeling, I just can't "feel" the general perspective of my own fututre and cannot interpret in which direction my actions are taking me.
While in the otehr class, I had a pretty good idea of what everything was taking me to and I liked it.

Of course, I only realized this after moving. So now heres the BIG question: are these pure feelings coming from an imaginary scenario I made or coming from real premonitions? Does anybody else have similar feelings? Uff...

*p.s: sorry, I've posted before but still didn't clarify myself, there are SO many things going through my head. Aaaand I'm not a native english speaker either...;)) Also... do you think that some Reiki courses would help? Just to be around people who believe in the same things and for the sake of calming down my imagination and curiosity

I have no idea why I perceive this thing to be of a SUCH a great importance but I simply feel it is like a turning point in my life... I now know for sure that there ARE persons in my previous class that believe in the same things and are somehwat more "initiated" in such things like empathy/energies/spirituality. Gosh, I was so blind! But still, I'm not sure what I should choose, because apart from the spiritual thing, on a more "earthy" level, I'll also have to "fight" to maintain my image, at least in the first month... I know that not everyone can understand what I'm going through...


updated by @kate: 09/04/18 01:47:07AM
Kate T
@kate
12/24/12 12:14:14PM
148 posts



Ooh, dear, I ended up posting the long version without realising, lol

Well, I also wanted to mention the Law of Attraction: have you read anything about it?

If you also have other happenings that point out the fact that you are an empath, these frequent dangerous situations you encounter may mean that you are too "tuned" to lower frequencies(unshielded, accumulating "residual energies", etc...); so thinking/expecting/having a negative attitude towards things in general may trigger negative happenings faster than in the case of a... unaware/unawakened person lets say.

For example, I always have to think twice before having a negative thought about someone close (say parents/family/friends) because they tend to pick up the "vibe" much faster and feel that something isn't "allright" about me... most don't realise this on an actual conscious level of course, but they generally react accordingly, as far as I've seen.

One might also consider praying. Who knows...

Kate T
@kate
12/24/12 04:27:56AM
148 posts



I'll tell you some of my life experience, so that maybe you find something familiar in it or find a solution. (sorry for any possible grammatical mistake, as english is not my first language :D)

Generally speaking, I tend to experience 3 kind of situations (one of them manifesting almost like yours):

1. When I'm too permisive and let the energy "flow through me" I seem to become rather invisible xD like people tend to walk over me, find me uninteresting, etc... of course this takes a lot of concentration and absent-mindness so to say, and I did it a few times, walked past my friends while they were looking for me and didn't notice me at all! It's some kind of a psychological secret: if you keep your thoughts silent and the "channel" blocked they don't notice you...

Second time I was standing next to a big climbing honeysuckle bush, and I was feeling so peacefull and my mind was clear of anything, and this relative of mine walked past me, then turned around, then stopped to look at the bush, then walked away asking my mother "wher's you daughter?" and my mother was like "lol, you went past her 3 times, haven't you seen her next to the bush?" :))

I found it funny however because I consciously tried not to think about anything and be one with my surroundings...

This thing however, being unprotected and all, makes me feel like a victim and I generally don't like it, or I tend to relax only when I know I am alone/meditating/centered, so as to be able to notice the changes around me and not be overwhelmed. However, I may become very tensed and have frequent energy blocks because of this constant "tension" of trying to be in control all the time. And this leads to the second situation...

2. I am very tensed/concentrated but able to control the situation. However, this inner struggle might be seen/felt by others [I actually got the hang of it]. However, it kind of blocks the energy flow so the next day lets say I really must practice meditation for cleansing or a take long shower just to get rid of those unwanted thoughts and feelings that get stuck inside/block my vision.

There's also a third situation... ;)) But this is the most difficult one and it means being balanced: being able to let the energy flow but remain clean and have a well-determined boundary. This implies feeling those "inner pushes/thoughts" and having a pretty good intuition/few, generally small premonitions/and feelings about people or places but not getting lost in the "cloud of thoughts" or accumulating unwanted energy. Or at least this is my case/the point that I reached after an year of reading and working alone with these principles that I learnt from books/internet/life :D

But I reached my point, and came to the conclusion that I can't keep it secret anymore and I need help, so that after the holiday I'll start my first Reiki courses. Not only that I decided to write the premonitions on paper and see if they happen but also convienced some people and relatives that these things are possible and real. And these actions made me feel a lot easier and comfortable with myself. Finally, after continuously trying to fight off these ideas and tell to myself that everything is just bull**it and I simply have too much free time, I started to accpet the fact that they really happen. I had to fight against all the negative feedback that I've always got from peopleabout these kind of things (psychich powers, premonitions, out-of-the-ordinary happenings...) [unintentionally of course because they didn't know anything about my situation]

It may be the luck factor, it may be that you are a more dreamy person, or indeed, it may be that you are in tune with energies but get affected too much by them. It happened to me alot too. I'll tell you what I learnt to do:

I tend to feel when people are thinking about me/sending me direct thoughts (ex: I am paying attention to something else, but the boy standing a few metres behind me looks at me thinking about something positive/negative "Man, what a girl!". I instantly feel the type of that thought that is directed at me and if I find it positive and not threatening, I just let it be. But if it is something coming from 2 guys that decide to follow me, instead of avoiding the "contact" with them, I concentrate really hard on the "channel" they opened and send the most furious, annoying and tensed thoughts I can think about.

Believe me, I am not talking nonsense. Because I had many encounters with people of the opposite sex that found me appealing I had to learn to deal with the situation without blocking everything inside me and become a rock or something :)) And on street, especially at night and when the visibility is poor and you have to take long roads that pass through ill-famed neighbourhoods, the situations can degenerate quickly. The little "secret" I told you above "saved" me for more than 4 times ;)) I can't forget so easily the times when I even faked a phone conversation to be sure "they" got the message that I wasn't alone.

I also had so many positive happenings though, but i don;t think you want me to start blabbering about them too :)) I hope I helped you a little :)

Kate T
@kate
12/07/12 10:28:16AM
148 posts

If you give a little love... (video)


Empath

This video is so beautiful and motivating that made me cry :X Do you have the original link? I would like to share it on fb too...

Kate T
@kate
11/25/12 11:53:42AM
148 posts



Sounds like me, allright

But I stumbled across the projection thing you mentioned. I'm a little ashamed to admit that this was the first time I had the... uhm, courage to go deeper and read about that. And I thin I have a BIG PROBLEM.


You see, after I had read some posts from: click hereI think I realised how I've always lived by projecting emotions into others. However, right now I'm going through some really upsetting situations that clashed with this period of over-sensitiviy of mine, so I get affected by the slightest negative energies directed towards me (the worst happens when I don't have time to meditate and they cumulate... for God's sake, I'm in HIGH SCHOOL, why did it have to happen now!)

So right now I'm feeling powerless and my aura is pretty weak. And I'm unable to project happy thoughts and optimism into others, and I can't help but see how some don't gravitate around me anymore, nor i am that popular anymore, and I just feel abandoned, and really angry because I cannot recharge and I'm falling and falling and I think I may get into depression. Some may think these are usual teenager problems, but I've gone through so many interesting and out of the ordinary moments regarding what people feel (or I forced them to feel,unwillingly) that I had to find a place and tell others my story so that I may find people who could help me. And so I got here.

A short story: I was walking on street thinking of an ex boyfriend of mine, and I was so excited and a little agitated because I would meet him again, and I didn't think about my surroundings. At one point i noticed 2 men walking towards me. They caught my eye because they were dressed in loden coats, which I found pretty funny looking. I found them a little strange, but did nothing to cover my previous excitement I got from thinking about my ex, even though I knew it was noticeable. At the same time, without actually wanting to, I made eye contact with one of them. It annoyed me a little that he had a pretty suprised, piercing but icy gaze, but then he contracted his forehead, shook his head like he was feeling something uncomfortable, turned it in the opposite direction, and started walking faster. The other men looked back at me and asked him "Did she do it deliberately?" he said in response "No, I don't think so".

I must say I got pretty scared after that. I started walking faster too. I dunno, maybe they were talking about something else. But I think I may have projected my feelings again... is it good? is it bad?

Right now I'm feeling pretty powerless, how could I recharge myself? How can one prevent excessive/unnecessary loss of energy?

I must also say that I am so intense that, if I don't cover my feelings when angry or sad, I can project them on everyone around me and literally hurt my parents/family. It's like an electric shock: everybody thinks the same thing (that something happened to me, for example) and looks at me at the same time like I have somthing strange. It happened before, and mother told me that "you affect us more than it is necessary, and sometimes I think you manipulate us. If you don't try to go over your obstacles and harness your fears and emotions, dear, I don't think we can take it any longer, we have our problems too: you are too intense"

What should I do?? I'm SO EXTREMELY confused, and for God's sake... I'm only in HIGH SCHOOL, why do I have to deal with this NOW? I also still struggle to acept the empath thing, although i read a lot about it, and there are a lot of things happeneing around me/because of me. It's just strange. Everything seems out of control again.

[sorry for my potential grammatical mistakes also, I'm not a native english speaker! :D]


updated by @kate: 01/01/17 09:57:59PM
Kate T
@kate
11/19/12 10:53:23AM
148 posts



It may happen a lot actually.

It's all about how you manage the stress of being in a crowd and sensing a lot of things and getting a lot of information at the same time. Have you tried asking yourself "why do I feel angry?" Is it because you feel you can't control the amount of information you're getting? Is it because you actually get to sense the bad feelings instead of filtering what is good and what is bad? Or it's just the thought that you aren't understood, or that they seem like they have their minds closed, or they seem to emanate bad energies (as a result of the negative thoughts and more)?

If you find the inner cause, and your thoughts that determine the reactions, then you may find the answer on how to solve it by working with your own consciousness and realising if the common "anxiety-factor" may be involved too...

My head used to hurt a lot too, and I never understood why when I was little. I just knew I got lost in a whirlwind of thoughts and impressions and couldn't grasp my own ideas, and I was afraid to speak, because then I knew that a lot of attention and thoughts would be directed at me and it may have got even more unbearable than it already was.

As I grew older, I learned how to handle things and "a lot of people", and even though things are getting better and better, I still have to work a lot on this aspect...

Try meditating, centering methods, or this concentration exercise:http://www.wingmakers.co.nz/How_To_See_And_Read_The_Aura.html

Although the article is about reading auras, the exercise helps concentrate on your third eye and I find it somewhat relaxing.

Best of luck!~

Kate T
@kate
11/15/12 09:19:01AM
148 posts

Ever felt like you can "hear" other people's thoughts?


Empath

I finally found the cause and managed to open again!!

Has anyone ever experienced the feeling of closing your empath owers down, then literally feeling numb and don't getting people at all, then getting headaches, becoming all confused, and one morning, at least, after not going to school, crying your a** out because of the unexplainable pain you're feeling and then slowly recovering and feeling all better after that?

I feel so relieved. The things I read here helped me a lot. The first step was putting some touching music on, and then concentrating at one thought: "do NOT fight against it, do not try to control it, do not think it is strange, do not think you shouldn't be like that: just stop thinking, imagine a warm and happy moment you went through in the past, that can bring you some you joy, let it be, accept everything, open"


My friends called me out after that. And I've just returned from the city, feeling happy an content: my friends saw the change from the first moment "Feeling better already miss drama? :> " She was kidding of course, knowing about my "episodes" of sudden fatigue. Of course, at first it was a little scary, because I managed to open again after 2 weeks or so in which I could get only small gilmpses of the other people's emotions... but now I was able to analyse everyone again, and be happy at least, because I felt so relieved. I even had 3 episodes of syncronicity again :D

Sure, everything I wrote here are my thoughts that I had today. I don't think it's a good idea or even safe to tell anybody else about this except the users of this site. Sure, now I have to work to maintain it and do not close my senses again. But after the migraines I went through, I doubt it :))

I would really appreciate some insights about the process of closing down one's empath powers and then opening them again... it's been such a strange month.

Blessings!

Kate T
@kate
11/11/12 01:38:34PM
148 posts

Ever felt like you can "hear" other people's thoughts?


Empath

Thankyou DJ... I really hope so. The situation is just stressful, plain stressful, and it's consuming me. I think, however, that I know one of the MAJOR problems because of which everything happens...

The apartment I'm living in. It's a long story, but I think i do now realise what i've always felt: be it a 2 day trip or an entire holiday, the things that make me uncofortable are the toxic energies we're constantly getting. Everytime I return home, I feel the urge to go on the balcony, or to open a window, or go outside and do anything that doesn't imply staying inside and being static. The habbit of spending all my summer holidays with my brother at some uncles and aunts in another city helped me leisurely analyse the obvious differences in my behaviour that previosuly had no apparent reason: my relationships and ability to communicate simply bloom, my intuition gets stronger, I am able to differentiate between what I WANT and what OTHERS want, and I can simply be happy and content... i just feel that I am normal again and realise how "blind" and stressed out I can be, back home.

I don't know why this is the first time I'm consciously thinking that... I've always knew it, lol.

But the question is... what should I do? Maybe it's coming from my neighbours. We have around 4-5 families with really NASTY problems, and another 3 families in the nearby buildings with children with deficiencies. Nevertheless, I'm afraid of going crazy. There are too many thoughts, too many questions and things that desperately need to be solved, but whom answers I can't seem to find...

How could I deal with toxic influences in my own home? yeah, I'm jumping from a subject of discussion to another, but that's because I need to find an answer for these issues...

Kate T
@kate
11/10/12 11:42:23PM
148 posts

Ever felt like you can "hear" other people's thoughts?


Empath

I sent you a request, Brittney :)

Anyway, I feel have to explain more of what I'm going through: I also have some physical symptoms. If the good feelings come from the lower back (did you experience that to? I found an extremely benefic position to meditate and when i do it right my ears tickle and I feel like laughing when the good energies move freely) then I have a big problem with the back of my neck. It has been hurting for 2-3 days (like someone hit me with a ball, lol) and it's just like I can't get rid of the stress inside... it's just killing me. And I feel like my "intuition" is forced off... i can't keep it open and i feel a great pressure.


I also have the sensation of being trapped in a black raincloud (I guess i'm not the only one experiencing it?) that blocks my vision and inner thoughts.

[alert! story begins :))]

I think it may come from of my father. I can succesfully predict when he gets close to our home, because all my senses seem to "contract", like a muscle that's put to an effort :)) He's like a fountain of negative energy, and he mostly gets it from his job, but it's also in his nature (he's a typical pessimistic capricorn) After episodes of fury, bad situations seem to arouse, it almost became a rule. I tried to explained him countless times, we have fought a lot over this topic, but he has ventually got used to my "sensitivity", and now he controls his bursts a little more, but he is REALLY not what I need in this period, mostly because I think I subconsciously absorb these dark energies to help him. BUt it affects me in a really bad way. And it takes a lot of concentration from me to block the absortion thing and I must say, I've been home for 3-4 months already and I can't fight it anymore. Then there's also the stress coming from the new collective I moved to, at school. It's very different, but I have my friends and everythingwould have been ok, if it weren't for these "sensations" of mine. I find it very difficult to deal with the new energies. In the first month was easier, but it's become harder and harder and it's overwhelming me, again.

It happened to me before, and I was like in a dream all the time, and lacked courage, the words just wouldn't come to my mouth anymore, etc... And I'm scared it will happen again if I don't do something to stimulate my "third eye". From this point of wiew, it ws over-stimulated in my previous class :)) I actually had 5 collegues (!!!) who believed in these things too and went through "paranormal" episodes, even more than me... And when I moved and realised I couldn't feel any connection at all with the new ones, I became so sad, lol. (Even though, I repeat, I have enough friends and stuff, but I'm talking about that deeper thingy we epaths have...) Now I feel like I want back...

...Because I'm scared I will definetly loose my "powers". Is this kind of thing possible? As the days pass, I *feel less and less... meditation helps me, yes, but the wellness only goes on for... not more than an hour lets say or half an hour, and then the "black raincloud" surrounds me again. I live in an apartment, and the coming of winter it's killing me (we open the windows less) and I've made a habbit of spending minutes every day on the balcony, as I love the way my head becomes lighter.
[/end of the story ;))]

In conclusion, what should I do, as I feel like my "third eye/intuition" is forced off, and feel great pain and pressure in the back of my neck? What should that mean?

Kate T
@kate
11/08/12 11:03:31AM
148 posts

Ever felt like you can "hear" other people's thoughts?


Empath

p.s: So I read and realise: the problem is that I pay too much attention and over-analyse my thoughts and feelings.

And i think i can indentify the fear factor (I guess I need to parctice introspection more ;)) ) that determines the stress and "hyperactivity" in my life: I'm am afraid of becoming "blind" again, loosing these gut feelings, because I realise, based on daily observations and happenings, that I've become more aware of what is happening around me. Maybe that's a part of everyone's maturing, but in my case, i think it already exceeded the level of a normal person (my mother lets say, never thought, sensed or had gone through episodes of syncronicity & stuff. But I must say that my grandmother really had premonitions, like when she "saved" dad when he was little right before the wall of their house would fell down on him during an earthquake). I may say it is a burden now, but my biggest wish is that I will actually be able to consciously control them (more or less) and know how this empathy-thing works. And to be able to see thetruth.I have moments when I want to stop feeling so many things, but deep inside the real thing is that I love having a card in the sleeve and simply getting more informations than others. And being prepared. I feel more secure when I open my mind and am able to anticipate things.

Ok, this is my first introspection of this kind. Does anyone think I've come down to the right conclusion? ;)) You know, I feel so good knowing I'm not alone... !

(again, sorry for any possible grammatical mistake, I'm still learning english, heh)

Kate T
@kate
11/08/12 09:02:05AM
148 posts

Ever felt like you can "hear" other people's thoughts?


Empath

Thankyou all for the answers!

I slept today and, strangely, woke up with such an annoying sick-like feelig although I am not sick or anything. My mother just came to wake me up and as soon as I opened my eyes I felt stress and anger again: and sickness. Well, I tried to snap out of it, but what came out of my mouth was different: "God, I feel like I'm soo sick!" and after "But I don't know why" followed of course by my mother's really concerned reponse (well, almost shoutting): "Again? Get over it already, I do not know what to say to you anymore, don't you have anything any kid would want? What happened with you?"

Then it just came to my mind I should call one of my close friends (scorpio, hehe)... and I found out she was really sick and had a quarrel with her boyfriend.

Coincidence?

But what could I have told my mother? "You know, I think I believe in an universal tie between individuals and that I'm am some kind of a special person more sensible to other's thoughts called empath and due to 2012 coming I got really sensible and sometimes i think i can "cipher out" what others think. Oh, don't worry, I've talked to people with the same problems on internet and i should get better at one point" ... ?? Hell NO.

Should I mention it's the third time I found out our "feelings" are the same, but in her case, it's about a real illness while I'm just complaining about strange feelings and thoughts, followed by the urge to call her?

Kate T
@kate
11/07/12 12:11:55PM
148 posts

Ever felt like you can "hear" other people's thoughts?


Empath

Empathy, new awarness... I'm curious if I will get through more practical experiences to tell you about, and that could will assure me everything is real. I also wonder what could possibly be the limit of such things and if "high-positioned people" know about these or if there are people able to do a lot more than "sensing and interpreting"

Buut well, I guess that's another topic of discussion :))

The rubber band thing seems interesting, I'll try it. What do you suggest to do when I'm feeling overwhelmed and I feel like my "third eye" (well, I do not know how to call it otherwise... maybe awareness?) is closing? What should I think of?

And by the way, does anyone believe there is any tie between empathy/psychic powers and astrology? (like being born in a water sign & co?)

edit later: yes angela, I believe that eveyone's "connected somehow" too :D

Kate T
@kate
11/07/12 10:38:27AM
148 posts

Ever felt like you can "hear" other people's thoughts?


Empath

Oh, you know, I would really appreciate if you could tell me some techniques that are working for real :D I have so little time for meditation unfortunately due to a lot events, school & personal life, and since the holiday ended and I couldn't parctice "grounding" as you name it and other sites I've found name it, I started to feel like I'm loosing it.

I want to know what is real and what is not. I actually met a lot of mature people (over 25) in the projects I've been getting myself into, who seemed to be normal, but after getting to know them better, they started to talk about out-of-the-body experiences and things that scare the s*** out of me! I may not alone, yes, but oh, I don't want to go crazy... and I really need some advices.

But of course... thank you for posting, Jami! :D

edit later: thankyou too Pritha... I just need reassurance i'm not going crazy, lol. I even find it hard and awakward to accept the fact that I need to talk on a forum about this..

Kate T
@kate
11/07/12 10:19:14AM
148 posts

Ever felt like you can "hear" other people's thoughts?


Empath

Lately, I've been going through so many happenings that I started to question my sanity. It's not like I've always been like that: until 2 years ago, I didn't even know what "empath" meaned and I couldn't care less. But at one point while being with my boyfriend I started... feeling more. Or better said, hearing more. Like I could be "connected" to other people that had their minds "unshielded" (as I call it, because I find it impossible to talk to some people that seem to be hiding in their thoughts, somewhere far, in fear or anxiety)


I didn't know what it was at that time. I just let it develop, thinking eveybody was like that anyway. I soon started to realize that I've become much more aware of my surroundings. I can be walking in the park, or be at school, and simply knowing if someone is about to walk towards me from the corner or if people are thinking about positive or negative things.

Some things also happened this summer holiday: real episodes of syncornicity between me and my friends and parents (I even "predicted" weather 3 time or so... ) and I dicovered I can influence people a lot with my thoughts and detect lies (one reason I like playing cards whenever I'm with my friends and we have the occasion... I win a lot :D)

I may also get warning thoughts out of nowhere: like I suddenly don't feel the reason to go to a certain place or shop, and finding out later that something happened there or the shop closed.

But the most intriguing one so far: I'm getting a lot of feelings about people and animals. With animals... well, everything is ok. But when it comes to "humans"... oh dear, it's like a hurricane messes everything in my head. I can't concentrate on my own thoughts, I get lost in impressions, I may suddenly feel overwhelmed with joy, fear or anxiety, and I feel a lot of pressure on my head and I'm getting a lot of head aches. I get sad and cry all of a sudden, and then, when I feel my heart gets lighter, I think at least "Am I crazy or what? Why was I sad? My problems aren't THAT big..." (I was talking with a friend that had been going through a hard experience when I suddenly felt overwhelmed again and started crying! It was funny though, I didn't know how to explain it, so I used the "my boyfriend dumped me" line and I eventuall calmed down :)) )


But this year, I had to transfer to class with better professors. And it became... horrible, after the first month passed. I felt so much pressure, and had a feeling of being drained out, that at one point, during the night while I was lying in bed and having another headache, I felt like something closed. Out of a sudden. And my head became quiet. I didn't even relize how many thoughts I had in my head until then. But an immense fear overwhelmed me. I didn't like that feeling at all, even though my headache dissapeared: it was like I became blind. I couldn't analyse if my brother was asleep or not, nor if my parents were awake... it's just like it was me again, but ONLY me.

I'm scared I may have closed my "intuition". The next day, I had the same feeling: loneliness, to much quiet, "surrounding-blind" like feeling. I couldn't "sense" anymore. And I still have 2 scartches from that day, because I kept bumping into people.

I told a part of what is happening to me to my mother and I decided to go to a psychologist. I don't feel like she's helping a lot though, even if it was such a relief to me to discuss SOMEof the things that happened with somebody else, even though I hid the real "reason" and "feelings" under the mask of social anxiety... I know it isn't that. But I can't tell her my REAl feelings yet. I'm afraid she'll bump into the wrong onclusion, and I wouldn't blame her.

I would have never believed in these kind of things... if it wasn't for that one day.

 I'm only 16 years old and I had a perfectly normal life. I don't understand why this is happening to me. I've made another topic, but I feel like in this one I am more coherent (also, sorry for my english, it's not my first language and I'm still learning it :) )

My questions are: Are these the signs of a potential empath? Should I be worried? It is possible to close this "power" if it gets overwhelming, like I suspect I did (but I became scared because I felt so unaware and "blind")? How can I control this? Is it because of the 2012 thing?


All I can say, my life-path twisted in a way I could have never anticipated... but what the h***, I'm only 16! and everything indicates a healthy mind, apart from the things above (family with money, happiness, friends, boyfriend, travelled a lot, good school grades, future plans and all)!!


updated by @kate: 09/01/18 07:49:32PM
Kate T
@kate
10/31/12 02:58:26PM
148 posts

Fluctuating empathic powers?


Empath

I think I'll open another topic about how I found out about empathy and how I started thinking I may as well be a little more empathic than other people, even though I've always lived in a very sceptical family and environment; but now I have one anoying issue and so far I've been telling many friends about my symptoms as I can't keep everything to myself anymore (like I've been doing until now.)

It's about the headaches I'm having, my mood swings, my thoughts and feelings, and everything in my head that got messed up after I returned home from the summer holiday I spent at some relatives in another city (it's bigger, with more posibilities like having an olimpic swimming pool I'm going to every summer, and one biiig group of friends, this last one being the main reason I like spending my holdays there)

Now that the school also started, and with so many activities, events and projects I'm getting myself into, I have so little time for my so-needed meditation routine i used to practice during summer to keep myself centered ( I hope this is the correct word? all I know is that plain meditation and clearing of thoughts eased my head so much after coming from outside) and I started feeling overwhelmed. Actually, this got so strange: picking emotions and thoughts from here and there, that I started to believe i'm going insane. At one point, after returning from a 2-day trip with my class and the other day having to go at school again, I felt so overwhelmed that I felt like abandoning any defense I build and just let these things pass... bad mistake. It actually felt better on the moment, but it became... I don't know, my head became more quiet. And it was like I couldn't anticipate things anymore. I couldn't even detect the negative or positive feelings of friends anymore (episodes of syncronicity and other happenings made me believe that xD) and after a while I became scared. This is the way I feel now. Unable to control things anymore, unable to send positive vibes anymore. And because of a hollow feeling on the inside. Has anyone experienced this kind of feeling, like being drained?Or overwhelmed in a moment and "in total silence" in the next one?

What bugs me the most is that my life was perfectly normal until 1 year ago. O the other hand, no matter how many times i try and negate it... I have to admit that there has always been something happening: I've always had a special relationship with animals, kids, and people in need in general. I have the annoying habbit to help others even though they don't ask for it. Also, I often get asked directions when i'm on my way to school for example. Some children keep staring at me or may come and tell they like me, all of a sudden [than really happened to me twice! and it made me so happy :)) ) and even stray dogs may follow me [I had this problem with the dogs from my neighbourhood, but this was before I decided to break any connection with them because people and neighbours thought it was strange. It's not good, I know, but what else could I do?] Because of my kindness i happened to became a prey for those who wanted to take advantage.

I also get feelings (but rarely) about places, and much more frequently about people: i spot the lies with ease (I must say this is one reason because of which I like playing cards, lol) and I've always tried to treat anyone equally, but because I can put myself in the other's shoes and am able to see under their "masks", I happen to attract dislikefrom people who came to despise me for absolutely no apparent reason. Some people are even afraid to approach me, lol, even though my appearances are rather appealing and I display a soft personality: I guess it's because of the habbit of "seeing what's real inside someone" ? Ohoo, and how mnay times didn't I face jealousy... and for stupid reasons. But there are also people who simply adore me and we understand each other without words.

These are just a few of my symptoms so far...

So my questions are: What the hell is going on? Is this real? Should I ACCEPT it? Should I negate it? Has anyone ever experienced things like that? I'm really confused which path I should take... I have to mention again that right now I experience that drained feeling on the inside, and am reluctant to "open". It's just that I'm scared eveything will become overwhelming again.

Did I mention I'm just a 17 (almost) yo high-school girl? Uh-oh...


updated by @kate: 02/16/17 06:36:52AM
 
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