Forum Activity for @empphire

empphire
@empphire
08/25/17 05:15:50PM
19 posts

30 Traits of an Empath


Empath

Thanks @hop-daddy

Your explanation makes sense by including the HSP definition for comparison! I'm always amazed at how well how I feel like I can relate to these lists and descriptions so well, but have to remind myself that other people aren't always feeling the same way (which I find very interesting!).

empphire
@empphire
08/25/17 04:35:57PM
19 posts

30 Traits of an Empath


Empath

Thanks for the link @hop-daddy :) I feel like all of these points except maybe 2 and a half of them. Articles and lists like these are what I first looked at when learning about empaths, and was so excited when I felt like some one could actually understand me because these traits described me so well! But I'm wondering if other people score high on this, even without being considered an empath? (I know the wording of that question is a little weird).

empphire
@empphire
05/29/17 09:12:31PM
19 posts

Are We Rare?


Empath

@rene and @hop-daddy

I totally agree! Usually I try not to judge anyone on their first impressions and try to see the best in them. However, as time goes by, people "true nature" definitely show through.

@stills

Thanks for the response! I too sometimes wonder if everyone with empathy....which I think is mostly everyone, are have the potential to be empaths. Its interesting how you said "The difference is empaths have acute knowledge and vision of what they are feeling at any one time, so we are able to disect a feeling and say to ourselves 'that's not mine, it's that persons'. Most people are so cut off from their own emotions that they'll never truthly know their potential. They can feel other peoples feelings and simply think it's their own."

I thought that other people had a good idea of what they were feeling, and while empaths felt deeply, empaths are the ones that confuse other people's emotions as their own.

But maybe thats an "INFJ" thing. Thanks again @loconnoro for the advice to look into INFJ stuff. It was very informative, reassuring, and well, provided much food for thought :D

empphire
@empphire
05/10/17 07:31:11PM
19 posts

Are We Rare?


Empath

@loconnoro

Thanks for the tip! Looking into these things is pretty interesting! Hopefully I won't fall into the trap of "labels". I know how conflicted I felt when answering the questions in the personality test and how easily my answers and therefore "results" may sway if taken again. :)

@lightstorm

That's pretty interesting! I still have no idea if I or the others around me are empaths or not, but the couple of people I enjoy hanging around the most are the ones with similar....vibes as me. 

empphire
@empphire
04/29/17 08:12:04PM
19 posts

Are We Rare?


Empath

@loconnoro

Thanks for the advice, I just took the MBTI test at the 16personalities.com, and i got: Mediator (INFP)

Introverted 60%

Intuitive 69%

Feeling 69%

Prospecting 57%

Turbulent 51%

But...I don't know, maybe I should just retake it again, because I feel feel like the description of a "mediator" fits well with me....but so do the other personalities like defender (ISFJ), Logician (INTP), debator (ENTP), consul (ESFJ), etc.

For a lot of these question I found it really hard for me to choose between agreeing or disagreeing and maybe that's why this tie I got mediator, but could just as well get another type if I did this again? Do you have any advice on if this usually happens?

empphire
@empphire
04/29/17 07:48:26PM
19 posts

Are We Rare?


Empath

Thanks everyone for the responses! 

I keep trying to learn more on empaths through the web, but everything I find now is just a repeat of what I found before. Maybe its time to hit the books :)

Thanks loconnoro for the tip on MBTI personality test. I haven't taken it in a while, but doing it should help me. I remember taking it a couple of years ago and that I wouldn't be ranked strongly to either side in any of the categories, and would therefore switch a lot between the personality types as I took the test a few times including being introverted or extroverted. However, I do consider myself very introverted, so it is definitely possible that I am just a really sensitive introvert, regardless of being an empath or not :)

I've also been looking into people known as indigo/crystal children, lightworkers, etc. While I may or may not be one of them, I do think it's very interesting to see who else is on the planet!

empphire
@empphire
04/29/17 01:52:47PM
19 posts

emotionless empath


Empath

I definitely relate to this "emotional burnout". When I was with people like my friends, I would laugh and have fun with them or talk to them when they felt sad. But at the back of my mind, I was really confused why I was so good at keeping the conversation going or advising them, especially when I felt like I was RESPONDING to THEIR emotions, not ACTING on my OWN emotions.

A month or two ago, I felt like I had no emotions at all. When I was by myself, I felt like I had no emotions. I became really concerned that I was going crazy, or was really a sociopath because I felt like I was manipulating them (possibly in a good way) to think positively about themselves and the people around them, but was also thinking how easy it would be to make them sad or mad :( 

But then I looked "people who are very empathetic" and up popped the term empath! Turns out I'm just and empath and was going through an emotional burnout. This ironically makes empaths, very empathetic people, seem extremely apathetic, especially to themselves when trying to figure out our emotions. 

empphire
@empphire
04/29/17 01:40:40PM
19 posts

Questioning The Empath-Narcissist Connection


Empath

I don't think i have any manipulative narcissists in my family. I do think that I've attracted a lot of narcissist as "friends" though.

Somehow I've stumbled across a channel on youtube that's run by a lady named Lisa A Romano. She is an empath and talks about her bad experiences with narcissists, such as her ex-husband, past boyfriends, and son. She describes the textbook narcissist as someone who at first seems VERY charming, open, and understanding which makes them SEEM very empathetic like an empath. However, narcissist don't actually feel guilt for their actions and therefore manipulate people for their own gain.

When I'm around a narcissists, I usually feel bad emotionally, but never tied to get away. Maybe that's because narcissists are always looking for people to manipulate people for themselves, and I'm always trying to help people and fall into their trap.

Lisa A Romano's video helped me understand this cycle, and also is very helpful in encouraging how to get out of these situations and "recover" from them.

empphire
@empphire
04/15/17 09:15:11PM
19 posts

Are We Rare?


Empath

I've been finding many articles on empaths, and have seen over and over again that empaths make up probably about 5% of the population. Does this seem accurate? I'm asking because I'm wondering how likely it would be to stumble across another empath and possibly become friends with one. Sometimes I think my relatives might be showing signs of empathness, but they choose to push down these traits and beliefs, and instead embrace science and ideas they understand like labels such mental illnesses and depression.  

None of the friends I have show signs of being empaths either. A couple of them I've wondered about because they are very compassionate......but I believe they are just compassionate hsp, and do not think that they are empaths xD

Do most empaths usually end up finding other empaths and hang out with them? I feel alienated from mostly everyone I know because they don't understand how I feel, and can't or don't want to see how I view the world, especially in terms of feeling a connection beyond the physical world.

I am very grateful for this community and the support that comes with it and consider everyone here a friend! :D  But have wonder what it would be like to talk to or have another empath as a friend I can meet up with physically :)


updated by @empphire: 09/28/17 09:02:29AM
empphire
@empphire
04/15/17 06:52:04PM
19 posts

Consciousness


Empath

@hermes

Thank you for both pieces of advice! I look forward to reading the book to answer these questions, and Buddha's advice really resonates with me and how I've been feeling :)

empphire
@empphire
04/15/17 06:46:52PM
19 posts

Hello


Empath

For me, sometimes separation is the only way for everyone to stay happy. I've also felt extremely drained when around people for a long time, even if they're close friends. When this happens and the other people don't pick up on this or think I'm just being lazy or antisocial, I sometimes imagine lashing out at them. Being an empath, I know exactly what makes them tick, and I know can easily turn their good day into a miserable one. Luckily, I don't act on this. (The only times I've done this is when I was extremely stressed and drain, and with my one of my sisters, who I still love and who still loves me.)

But this does highlight the problem that sometimes, you just need to get away before all the negativity or drain happens. Consciously or unconsciously, if I don't feel like the relation is beneficial for both of us, I end up drifting away. I used to wonder i this made me a bad person, or if there was something wrong with me, as this happens A LOT. I feel like I am betraying them in a way, as if I was being a fake friend the whole time. But I've realized that cutting people off is sometimes for the best, because harboring anger, hate, or other negative thoughts or feeling a drain from someone is not a good thing for an empath. 

empphire
@empphire
04/15/17 06:26:05PM
19 posts

Just finishing my degree


Empath

@corey-easton

Congratulations! To me, its really inspiring that you stuck with CS even when your spiritual side was calling you down another path.

I am currently a sophomore, majoring in Electrical and Computer Engineering. I picked this major because I like STEM and of course, for the jobs/money. However, little less than a month ago, I had my "spiritual awakening" and realized that I was an empath. This realization seemed to halt my interest in STEM for a bit because I was very confused, lost, and felt the calling to give up my goals of being in the STEM field to instead go down the path of psychology or something spiritual. 

I've been able to reason with myself to stay with STEM (at least for now) as everything school wise is going fine. I have really good grades, love my classes, and even scored an internship for the summer, woot! But, I am still trying to figure out what to do after I graduate. Do I go on with my original plan with embracing STEM and then business with the end goal of being a higher up in a company? Or do I decide to pursue knowledge relating to the spiritual side of things, like using my ECE skills and knowledge to analyze the brain, heart, etc. Both of these paths have their ups and downs, in terms of financial stability and self fulfillment.

I wish you luck on your journey as I continue to ponder about mine :)!

empphire
@empphire
04/11/17 05:21:20PM
19 posts

How do you perceive others emotions?


Empath

Most of the time, I can't tell which emotions are mine and which aren't unless the emotions others are feeling are very extreme. If someone is really happy, I sometimes get confused to why feel really happy too, and it isn't until they leave when I realize it was most likely the other persons emotion I was feeling. Likewise, when someone is really angry, I feel really angry too, until they leave.

For the longest time before I found out about empaths, I thought everyone felt like this, and we all just wouldn't act on these emotions, like what @rene said: not every emotion deserves a reaction.  For example, when I feel extreme negative emotions like anger and frustration, I'll take a step back, and sometimes laugh at this extreme feeling because I don't know why I'm feeling this emotion, especially to this extent. This thankfully is enough to usually calm me down.

When I'm spending time with my family, I feel like I can pick out my own emotions better compared to when I'm with friends or strangers. This is probably because I am so familiar with their energies and emotions. I've been spending more time by myself and this also helps me to keep my head clear of other's emotions, and will hopefully help me constantly listen to my own emotions more rather than others.

empphire
@empphire
04/08/17 10:37:31AM
19 posts

feel like I am not human


Empath

@jeremie I can definitely relate! as @renee put it, "I like humans as individuals, but as a collective i just don't...."

I've only recently discovered what it means to be an empath. I've always know that I was experiencing the world differently, especially when I would hang out with my friend. I liked the idea of being with friends, but I always knew that they didn't view the world the way I did, and didn't want to. Like most empaths, I was always willing to listen to them, and genuinely want to help them even if I wasn't getting much in return....except to be told that I was being overly emotional at times, or over sensitive or too negative. I was always good at showing to others a person that was happy and considerate, which is one of the side that I have.

However, after learning about the empath world, I've begun to feel extremely alienated from the people around me. While I still like to listen and help others, especially my friends, I have begun to feel like it is a FORCED response, and no longer as genuine. Seeing and helping people is fine, but now I am really beginning to focus on the bigger picture, and feel like I am turning away from the bigger problems of society that are a result of these individual problems. 

Its as if I no longer am willing to just show one side of me to the world, but I want to embrace all sides of me and be free to show all sides. But because of this, I feel like I no longer know how to act when with people around me. I always knew how to act around certain people like my friends in order for them to like me. However, now I feel like I no longer know or WANT to act like this, as it feels...wrong for me to continue to do so.

I am still pretty young, only 20, and I am starting to see the possible futures before me. One is to continue to pretend like nothings wrong and hide my empathness so I don't scare away all my friends, or get mad when they don't care about it, or try to find new friends that can help me on my empath and spiritual journey. I am leaning towards the later option, as I am starting to crave the friendship of others that think or feel like me. (One of the reasons why I love this place! :) )

empphire
@empphire
04/08/17 09:44:20AM
19 posts

Consciousness


Empath

I like @hop-daddy definition "wakefulness or the ability to experience or to feel. But for an empath I would add to the definition of "being in the moment""

Before I found out that I am an empath, I felt a lot of times that while I was experiencing all the things a normal person experiences, like seeing the same thing, hearing or smelling the same thing. However, it always felt as if these sensations were not actually happening to me...confusing yes. The best way I can describe it is it felt like I was living in a "dream" or some part of me was asleep (even though when I have dreams, they are VERY vivid and I feel very intense emotions) 

I recently read some Thoreau and Emerson and had to interpret their transcendental ideas for a class I'm in, and they both encourage us to be "in the moment" as hop-daddy had stated. This is starting to make sense to me, as this is what I've been missing, and why a lot of things don't feel real or like they're happening to me.

My question now, is how do I fix this? The transcendental idea is to let go of the ego and appreciate the moment by appreciating nature. I know that I feel more alive when in nature, but how do I take this feeling of wholeness or awareness with me when I'm not in nature? And by letting go of your ego, what makes you still an individual, and not just reflecting nature or the peace and problems of the world?

empphire
@empphire
04/03/17 06:59:39AM
19 posts

Being afraid to stop absorbing the energy of others


Empath

Hi!

I've recently found out that I am an empath and have been hearing about and looking up things people do to help live and thrive as an empath. Of course, this usually means to stop being overwhelemed with emotions by putting up a shied, and this is what I think you mean by "stop absorbing the energy of others."

I have to say, that I am very scared of this to for a few reasons.

1) There are times when I have (accidentally) cut myself from others emotionally, after feeling completely emotionally drained by others. This is what lead me to believe I was a sociopath or something before I learned the term empath, because I thought I wasn't feeling real emotions when they were just mine. I felt very empty, and I would wonder if events A, B, or C would happen , how would I feel? And each answer was the same: I would be ok with any option, even though I knew the out comes would be very different as it would affect OTHER people very much and in different ways. This made made me very uncomfortable, because I feel like no normal person would go through this.

2) There are many times I've discovered that I use my empath abilities to unconsciously bring people near me. I now know that I am able to feel what they're feeling or want as a friend, and amplify that emotion back at them, which makes it sometimes easy to meet people, and makes me happy to be around them if i think I am helping them. Without feeling this or reflecting what they want back (someone to laugh with, advise them, or just sit with), I am scared I will lose the connection that brings me close to people.

That being said, I have realized that I need to find a balance between blocking people's emotions out and letting them in. Blocking people out has lead to the problems stated above.

But I believe that this fear is a result of not knowing myself in the first place. If I don't block out other peoples emotions, I realize that I am not myself, and makes me feel distant from others. If I block them out, I realize that I am distance from others. Therefore, I need to learn how to be myself, and let people be drawn to me for being me.

empphire
@empphire
04/03/17 06:41:04AM
19 posts

New, and feeling a little lost and confused, and very much a lone (any advice is appreciated)


Empath

@deborah-craig and @kit-kat

Thank you so much for responding! Hearing about other people experiences really help me understand what I'm going through and stop being so overwhelmed. 

As you guys said, there are some people "who are safe to talk to about my abilities and some people - not so much". This said, I've realized that some people who are close to me are to me, emotional vampires, or at least dump their emotions and problems on me without giving much help back in return. This has definitely been very emotionally taxing, and I've noticed that it most often than not makes very tired, and a bit antisocial as it's sometimes hard to fit in, even with my friends.

That being said, I love the article kit-kat has shared. It makes sense that instead of being overwhelemed with emotion (unconsiciously) because someone else, we as empaths should try to feel more compassion for the other person. Personally, I think this would really clear up all of the (negative) emotions in me if I can focus on something positive and healing.

empphire
@empphire
03/29/17 07:26:47PM
19 posts

New, and feeling a little lost and confused, and very much a lone (any advice is appreciated)


Empath

Thank you all for responding! It really made my day to see that others can understand or relate to me, and I am not going crazy :)

 After writing about how I feel, I've begun to calm down. I really appreciate all your advice and take these words to heart. Meditation or at least taking a hot shower seems to be good options for me. Reading books or other people's experiences makes it easier for me to figure out whats going on as well, and I am extremely excited that the people here are genuinely willing to listen and help :)

empphire
@empphire
03/28/17 06:16:48PM
19 posts

New, and feeling a little lost and confused, and very much a lone (any advice is appreciated)


Empath

Greetings!

 

A few days I realized that I’m an empath, or at the very least, an extremely highly sensitive person. I’m not sure if anyone will actually be reading this, but coming here and actually writing this down forces me to try to figure out my thoughts.

 

After learning what empaths are, I felt so relieved that I am not the only one that thinks, or “feels” or “experiences” the world like me. I’ve tried to tell a few of my friends that I think I am an empath and how I feel, but so far it hasn’t done anything to help me, as they don’t understand what it’s like to be an empath, and they just think I’m over thinking things or being overly sensitive as usual. Trying to get my friends to understand me has always been an issue as I always seem to understand them, but I know that the majority of the time, they don’t understand me or how I think.

 

***But, I’m not here to complain about being lonely. Right now, I am just trying to figure myself out, and see if anyone here can relate and offer some advice on how to work with being an empath/hsp. I am pretty open to the idea of spiritual things, but I am not religious. I can’t talk to my parents about this, as they are firm believers in either your normal, or have a mental disorder.

 

After trying to explain what an empath is and how it feels to be one through articles I’ve found, I become so confused about how I feel. I fit most of the traits describing empaths and hsp, but whenever I try to explain that these traits don’t just describe me, but it’s as if I “embody” these traits, I find myself confused and unable to explain anything that makes sense. When  I try to come up with examples of times I’m certain that I’m an empath, I feel like these examples run deeper than a quick story. I feel as if I would not only have to explain my WHOLE LIFE to them just to understand a 2 minute story, but they would have to LIVE through my whole to see how each thought and piece of my life lead me to act or think for that specific event.

 

As stated before, I think I fit into the general definitions of being an empath/hsp. But again, when trying to reason if I really am an empath or not, I end up overthinking everything and thinking in circles (kinda like what I’m doing right now as I type this xD). Therefore, I’m wondering if anyone that is an empath can relate to anything below:

 

  1. Yes, after realizing what empaths were, I felt EXTREMELY relieved that I was not going crazy, and was really just an empath. However, after trying to talk to a couple, of my friends about being an empath, I became confused, and somehow ANGRY. I think I became so angry, because I only told 2 of my friends who I thought would be able to understand at least a little of what I’m thinking, but obviously that didn’t happen. I think I was angry, because I know that they will never understand how I feel. I think I was angry, not because I feel thinks the way empaths feel, but because my close friends will never fully understand me. Has anyone else felt this?

 

  1. I can’t stop thinking about being an empath. I feel like I’ve jumped from being one crazy into another. Before I couldn’t stop thinking about everything, but now I can’t stop thinking about being an empath. I know nothing has changed, except for the fact that I learned that there is a word to describe myself, but after learning that there are others like me, I can’t stop thinking about it in everything I do. For example, I’ve tried calming down by watching some episodes of Star Trek, which I’ve been watching it last month or two to relax, as I like relating to the crew and their adventure. I was always so intrigued by the world the crew lives, and watching it made me feel like I was part of the crew. However, now I can’t seem to relax while watching the show. I no longer feel as if I am part of the crew or living the lives of the characters. I can’t stop analyzing all the characters now, or trying to predict what will happen, just to “prove” to myself that I am an empath. Has anyone else become, I guess, “paranoid” after learning what an empath is?

 

  1. I get lost in my thoughts, my world, often. In car rides while listening to the same repeating song over and over again, and each second thinking something different. I am seeing the trees, cars, houses, and birds whiz by without seeing them, but I feel like I am focusing on all of them. Everything seems so familiar, and yet when I take a step back, or think of a stray thought, I feel like I have suddenly become lost, and nothing is familiar. It is as if everything I have ever thought or seem no longer feels like I have thought or felt them. It as if someone put a filter through my brain and everything is different. Everything that has seemed so real, seems like it’s never been there before. There are times when I feel like I am not fully there in the moment. I feel less emotions or more physical situations, and that is when I get scared.I become paranoid something is wrong. I feel like nothing will be real again, and I feel lost from everyone else.

 

  1. Even now, still doubting if I am an empath. My biggest argument against being an empath, is I keep reading that empaths can “feel” emotions. I wonder if this means that they can have their eyesight and hearing cutoff and and still be able to sense the emotions of others. I don’t think I can do this. My biggest argument for being an empath is I can’t stop consoling people from small things to big things. And usually, I’ll being helping people, and I can’t explain why, as sometimes I don’t want to help. And not because I don’t want to help, but sometimes I wonder why I am trying to help when MY HEART isn’t into the actually act….I’m confusing myself again by trying to explain things I can’t explain :( I feel like I will put on different masks when I’m around different people because I know how others want or expect me to act, and I gladly give them my best to fit their expectations….but part of me doesn’t want to keep putting on different masks….but part of me does….ugh.

 

  1. I’m still wondering if I am an empath, or if I switch between a hsp and a sociopath. There are times when I feel so drained or so excited, or any emotions not even that extremely and I wonder why I’m feeling it. I usually brush it off as a natural response to a stimuli, but now wonder about it. There are many emotions that I feel like I’m having, especially with others. But whenever I wonder if this emotion is real or if I should be feeling a different emotion, I feel like I’ve become multiple parts of myself. Some still don’t mind feeling the emotions, and some wonder why I’m feeling emotions at all. Sometime I feel so drained, that I don’t think I’m feeling anything at all. I’ll feel glad that I helped someone, but that gladness feels like a whisper. But at these times, I’m not mad or sad, I just feel like I can’t feel anything. It is especially during these times, that I feel like I am manipulating people. I am good at reading people and situations and predicting what will happen, and sometimes I wonder if I’m accidently influencing people like how they influence me. This is usually by accident, and it’s more than just “pushing people's buttons”....again, I can’t describe it. :(

 

Yikes, this is lengthier than I thought. And yet, not even a fraction of a percent of how I feel, as I am sure any empath/hsp can relate to. It definitely calmed me down thinking someone out there can relate to this or may one day read this. If anyone has any thoughts, please respond! It doesn’t have to be much, as I clearly know the struggle of explaining things. Just saying I can relate will be enough to make my day!

 

I know empaths have to deal with people dumping their stories and emotions on them, and I have just done this to you. I sincerely apologize, I am just trying to find out if I am actually an empath or just an hsp so I know where to begin in trying to figure out how to deal with these emotions, and stop freaking out. I am 20 years old, and living with six other girls in my apartment. I feel like a strange to them and even my closer friends, as I go to an engineering and science college, and see the world much differently than them.

 I am looking for thoughts, from both my generation and others, as I feel like my generation especially is not as emotionally in tuned with each other due to all the social media resulting in shallower relations. It would be nice to know how other empaths/hsp my age deal with this without feeling like an outsider, and how other generations can advise me on anything they now realize was a mistake in their life regarding being an empath.

 

Thank you for taking your time to help! (And again, apologies for this emotional story dump)

 


updated by @empphire: 08/20/17 01:52:36PM