New, and feeling a little lost and confused, and very much a lone (any advice is appreciated)
A few days I realized that I’m an empath, or at the very least, an extremely highly sensitive person. I’m not sure if anyone will actually be reading this, but coming here and actually writing this down forces me to try to figure out my thoughts.
After learning what empaths are, I felt so relieved that I am not the only one that thinks, or “feels” or “experiences” the world like me. I’ve tried to tell a few of my friends that I think I am an empath and how I feel, but so far it hasn’t done anything to help me, as they don’t understand what it’s like to be an empath, and they just think I’m over thinking things or being overly sensitive as usual. Trying to get my friends to understand me has always been an issue as I always seem to understand them, but I know that the majority of the time, they don’t understand me or how I think.
***But, I’m not here to complain about being lonely. Right now, I am just trying to figure myself out, and see if anyone here can relate and offer some advice on how to work with being an empath/hsp. I am pretty open to the idea of spiritual things, but I am not religious. I can’t talk to my parents about this, as they are firm believers in either your normal, or have a mental disorder.
After trying to explain what an empath is and how it feels to be one through articles I’ve found, I become so confused about how I feel. I fit most of the traits describing empaths and hsp, but whenever I try to explain that these traits don’t just describe me, but it’s as if I “embody” these traits, I find myself confused and unable to explain anything that makes sense. When I try to come up with examples of times I’m certain that I’m an empath, I feel like these examples run deeper than a quick story. I feel as if I would not only have to explain my WHOLE LIFE to them just to understand a 2 minute story, but they would have to LIVE through my whole to see how each thought and piece of my life lead me to act or think for that specific event.
As stated before, I think I fit into the general definitions of being an empath/hsp. But again, when trying to reason if I really am an empath or not, I end up overthinking everything and thinking in circles (kinda like what I’m doing right now as I type this xD). Therefore, I’m wondering if anyone that is an empath can relate to anything below:
- Yes, after realizing what empaths were, I felt EXTREMELY relieved that I was not going crazy, and was really just an empath. However, after trying to talk to a couple, of my friends about being an empath, I became confused, and somehow ANGRY. I think I became so angry, because I only told 2 of my friends who I thought would be able to understand at least a little of what I’m thinking, but obviously that didn’t happen. I think I was angry, because I know that they will never understand how I feel. I think I was angry, not because I feel thinks the way empaths feel, but because my close friends will never fully understand me. Has anyone else felt this?
- I can’t stop thinking about being an empath. I feel like I’ve jumped from being one crazy into another. Before I couldn’t stop thinking about everything, but now I can’t stop thinking about being an empath. I know nothing has changed, except for the fact that I learned that there is a word to describe myself, but after learning that there are others like me, I can’t stop thinking about it in everything I do. For example, I’ve tried calming down by watching some episodes of Star Trek, which I’ve been watching it last month or two to relax, as I like relating to the crew and their adventure. I was always so intrigued by the world the crew lives, and watching it made me feel like I was part of the crew. However, now I can’t seem to relax while watching the show. I no longer feel as if I am part of the crew or living the lives of the characters. I can’t stop analyzing all the characters now, or trying to predict what will happen, just to “prove” to myself that I am an empath. Has anyone else become, I guess, “paranoid” after learning what an empath is?
- I get lost in my thoughts, my world, often. In car rides while listening to the same repeating song over and over again, and each second thinking something different. I am seeing the trees, cars, houses, and birds whiz by without seeing them, but I feel like I am focusing on all of them. Everything seems so familiar, and yet when I take a step back, or think of a stray thought, I feel like I have suddenly become lost, and nothing is familiar. It is as if everything I have ever thought or seem no longer feels like I have thought or felt them. It as if someone put a filter through my brain and everything is different. Everything that has seemed so real, seems like it’s never been there before. There are times when I feel like I am not fully there in the moment. I feel less emotions or more physical situations, and that is when I get scared.I become paranoid something is wrong. I feel like nothing will be real again, and I feel lost from everyone else.
- Even now, still doubting if I am an empath. My biggest argument against being an empath, is I keep reading that empaths can “feel” emotions. I wonder if this means that they can have their eyesight and hearing cutoff and and still be able to sense the emotions of others. I don’t think I can do this. My biggest argument for being an empath is I can’t stop consoling people from small things to big things. And usually, I’ll being helping people, and I can’t explain why, as sometimes I don’t want to help. And not because I don’t want to help, but sometimes I wonder why I am trying to help when MY HEART isn’t into the actually act….I’m confusing myself again by trying to explain things I can’t explain I feel like I will put on different masks when I’m around different people because I know how others want or expect me to act, and I gladly give them my best to fit their expectations….but part of me doesn’t want to keep putting on different masks….but part of me does….ugh.
- I’m still wondering if I am an empath, or if I switch between a hsp and a sociopath. There are times when I feel so drained or so excited, or any emotions not even that extremely and I wonder why I’m feeling it. I usually brush it off as a natural response to a stimuli, but now wonder about it. There are many emotions that I feel like I’m having, especially with others. But whenever I wonder if this emotion is real or if I should be feeling a different emotion, I feel like I’ve become multiple parts of myself. Some still don’t mind feeling the emotions, and some wonder why I’m feeling emotions at all. Sometime I feel so drained, that I don’t think I’m feeling anything at all. I’ll feel glad that I helped someone, but that gladness feels like a whisper. But at these times, I’m not mad or sad, I just feel like I can’t feel anything. It is especially during these times, that I feel like I am manipulating people. I am good at reading people and situations and predicting what will happen, and sometimes I wonder if I’m accidently influencing people like how they influence me. This is usually by accident, and it’s more than just “pushing people's buttons”....again, I can’t describe it.
Yikes, this is lengthier than I thought. And yet, not even a fraction of a percent of how I feel, as I am sure any empath/hsp can relate to. It definitely calmed me down thinking someone out there can relate to this or may one day read this. If anyone has any thoughts, please respond! It doesn’t have to be much, as I clearly know the struggle of explaining things. Just saying I can relate will be enough to make my day!
I know empaths have to deal with people dumping their stories and emotions on them, and I have just done this to you. I sincerely apologize, I am just trying to find out if I am actually an empath or just an hsp so I know where to begin in trying to figure out how to deal with these emotions, and stop freaking out. I am 20 years old, and living with six other girls in my apartment. I feel like a strange to them and even my closer friends, as I go to an engineering and science college, and see the world much differently than them.
I am looking for thoughts, from both my generation and others, as I feel like my generation especially is not as emotionally in tuned with each other due to all the social media resulting in shallower relations. It would be nice to know how other empaths/hsp my age deal with this without feeling like an outsider, and how other generations can advise me on anything they now realize was a mistake in their life regarding being an empath.
Thank you for taking your time to help! (And again, apologies for this emotional story dump)
updated by @empphire: 08/20/17 01:52:36PM