Forum Activity for @cistamonte

Cistamonte
@cistamonte
03/21/17 04:40:36PM
2 posts

Requesting a life purpose reading


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I'm so beside myself right now. To be honest, I didn't even think anyone would bother to read my post. My heart feels huge right now!

@calmidwester, thank you for the warm and loving welcome.🤗

@cheshire-cat, thank you for your time and thoughtful insight. True that it's not exactly what I wanted to hear, but only because teaching isn't one of the things that I feel comfortable with nonetheless enjoy. And teenagers can be horrible, so I can't see myself having enough emotional energy to be around them. But I'm not going to discount it at all. Maybe there is something I am not seeing at the moment, or maybe it's something in my future. I raised my oldest 2 kids alone after my first husband passed, and their teenage years were awful! They nearly wrecked me! Their friends were even worse!! My kids are fine now, but I now live a block from a high school and I just do my best to not interact with the kids unless I have to. Being an empath makes teenage hormones, all the crazy emotions, and manipulative behavior very undesirable to be near. But possibly I was lead here to learn to protect my empath self better because of this future.

@angel, wow what an amazing reading! I read it over and over!!! I keep finding new tidbits each time I go back and reread what you wrote. A lot of what you wrote mirrors my own readings. And just this morning I thought, maybe I'm just supposed to do all these things instead of trying to figure out which is the right one.

I've always been a creative type—sewing, designing, and crafty. After my first husband passed I raised my kids working 3 jobs at a time, including web development and graphic design. I ended up getting a job for a large corporation as a graphic designer, which paid enough for me to only need the one job. I worked there 12 years! During that time, my boss took advantage of my prior situation by always following up abusive behavior with reminders of how grateful I should be. Over the course of those years I went from happy, social, fun, confident, and pretty comfortable with myself to being always angry, bitter, not able to trust, finding excuses to avoid social gatherings, very self-conscious of my body, looking very frumpy, and was always defensive! But although the emotions seemed extreme, somehow I managed to remarry and give birth to two more children. There were good times, but rarely were there any in the workplace. My husband and I worked out a plan so I could stay home with my little kids before the workplace abuse destroyed us all. I still have lots of healing to do from those years working there, even though it's been almost two years since I left.

Funny thing is, I used to think about if I only had time, if I didn't have to work, I could do "this", and "this", and "this... but it's been almost two years and I'm still not doing anything. I guess I've just been trying to heal (and find the creativity I lost the last couple abusive years), but somehow all that time I would have used isn't available. I guess that is why I keep thinking I need to choose one thing.

I enjoy making jewelry. I started with working with healing crystals, but learned a bit of metalsmithing. I love it, but I struggle with creativity and focus when I have time to myself.

I dabbled a bit in making all natural body care products, like serums and lotions (making soap was to be next).

I love gardening and thought I was supposed to be an herb farmer. I was going to grow my own herbs and integrate them into my body care products and make my own tea blends.

I also took some clinical hypnotherapy classes. A classmate does readings and urged me to start learning to read tarot cards. And reiki, yes, I took classes for my own personal healing a few years ago. I'm feeling I need to do more. For a while I had a great vision of doing hypnotherapy and offering other healing modalities including reiki.

Maybe I'm supposed to integrate all these things somehow.

My current fascination is Dorothy Cannon's QHHT. Maybe this is where teaching/mentoring comes in because it's such a lengthy process.

But again, so much of what you mention is what I'm contemplating. Ego struggles, concerned with wasting time if I don't choose the right thing, trying to pinpoint my passion to determine what my purpose is, just finding purposeful meaning is so important to me, deep down always worrying about being a failure (I used to be such a risk taker), and wondering if I can realistically make a living doing one of these things on my own.

My family seems to have faith in me. At least they did a couple years ago. My husband used to say that he had no doubt that if I only had some stress-free time to myself without having to worry that I needed to make money, that I'd end up making us millionaires allowing him to retire early.

I need to pay better attention to signs when I ask. But this one is received loud and clear! I'm so grateful for your responses! I love you all!❤️❤️❤️❤️
Cistamonte
@cistamonte
03/18/17 09:17:58AM
2 posts

Requesting a life purpose reading


Request a Reading

I'm new here (HELLO!!!) and feel so grateful for being guided to a place with such great tools! Thanks, Elise!

Over the course of my awakening, I've seen so many layers peeled. Three years ago I'd never believe I'd be here now. But as I'm sure you all know, during the awakening process, the more aware we are, the more healing that's been done, it seems the more blocks that stand in the way. Add empath to this process makes one truly feel like a psychotic mess at times.

I meditate, I journal, I (try my best) to stay grounded, and have been doing my own readings trying to figure out what path I'm supposed to be on. I need to start earning money but I just can't go work for a company again. I'm talented and resourceful and was born with an entrepreneurial spirit, but the past year or so I just feel stuck. PLUS, as an empath, I'm easily influenced by what other's paths are. I don't want to settle and get stuck in a rut. I have this time, freedom (to a certain extent), and support to do something fabulous with my life but I don't know what I'm supposed to do. My own readings are pretty consistent in saying that I'm going to start a business venture doing something that feels right or comes naturally to me. I can't figure out what it is.

Can someone help me clarify?
updated by @cistamonte: 07/20/17 01:30:11PM