Today is a day i wish i could say more than i wish i didn't understand. Best to you in dreams ushering themselves to you.
5D? sounds like a full experience. I once had a synchronicity come up regarding voices of something that hadn't yet happened and when it did it was so unlikely that there was no mistaking it was fulfilled. when hearing that voice it was like an altered state where i was feeling tomorrow also. If you mean something like that where your sense is far beyond just here and now, yeah it can be like drugs in a way. No worries on you explaining it wasn't mushrooms now hehe. It can all get out there at times. Not sure what to say about the synchronicity as i had some that was absolutely astonishing yet when it came about it all went into heartbreak as many were around who simply didn't want it fulfilled in ways that would have been a blessing to me or another that was referenced. The universe does seem to open more as you feel more love and revelations occur more i think. I hope that love is something you felt for you when you had your car accident. Not sure how badly hurt you were but i hope you are okay now. Accidents can be scary in addition to causing a lot of havoc. Whatever you have been going through my best to you with it being shown in the best possible ways with people around you helping it be so rather than making sure it be no. Best to you for it all being about something good coming your way. We all so much need the unconditional love to go back and forth to where old ouches ease and tomorrow opens as a clear path before us.
Wow, lots you are saying and asking. Is not so easy to get to in clear terms sometimes.
I am sorry that you have had experiences that have you in any way more cynical. If around people who only blame and take absolutely no responsibility for their own actions, it can be draining and the empathy for them can be shaken. There are legitimately times when others do make a terrible difference in how we act and legitimately so. Then it is our responsibility to get better influences. For those who do not even assume that responsibility it can get tiring. If that not as empathic part of you comes forward the more you are around hostility or people who drain you, maybe it is called safety. We all need that at times. Some people are unsafe temporarily and they will try to understand your need for safety if you ever explain it to them. Those who won't may not be in that temporarily unsafe category but maybe there pretty often maybe?
If people have become predictable to you, are you around many who can really flow with their feelings much? In that i don't mean impulse ridden people who do things that are flagrantly inconsiderate and often painful to others. I mean those who have both impulse control yet enough feelings to not be too robotic with everything (have their feelings with them) may have some spontaneity? Not sure if getting at all to what you mean by people being predictable or not. For me, i have known the impulsive people harmful yet predictable. The truly spontaneous yet considerate ones who are not so predictable and that being a good thing, i haven't known enough to be honest. I hope you get to know people who surprise you in good ways. If it is more that they lie to themselves and others and that itself is too predictable, i hope you get to know more who at least will try. Many don't want to face themselves or uncomfortable old feelings they need to face to change and they act by formula through much of life. If that is more what you mean, good luck finding those who try to listen to that which is around and that which is inside. We all flub at times on being fully honest with ourselves, but some are much better than others at hearing and taking it to heart when approached with the right care and honesty.
For that sitting in a circle and finding some of it superficial, things being too ritualized can get pretty cognitive and that can be when some think they are in touch with something whereas they are putting themselves into some state where they are battering any true empathy down. It's too much that California guru thing or so i call it. That you have suffered and have your own feelings is more important than any ritual. Ritual and empathy are pretty opposite aren't they? Having some guru or group tell you how to do it isn't as much as first of all you having you and your feelings. So on what you said about that, yeah get you on that i think. Maybe groups can do things where the group can strengthen empathy, yet i wonder if it would be by letting ritual go and letting feelings flow. Does that sound too hippie? Sorry if so. Hmm, putting that in other terms. If you planned a smile, is it the same as a spontaneous one? How can you "plan" empathy? Empathy is a reaction, not a plan.
Good luck with answers, both intellectual and emotional ones. And good luck with finding people who can sometimes surprise you maybe not with the big stuff, but are heartfelt enough that you may not be able to predict where it goes as much as that it will usually go well.
GROWING is hard at times. Standing alone is how I grow. I cannot follow a crowd to grow, so therein lies change. Which is typically a difficult thing for humans in general.
We can not follow a crowd to grow. We can walk with one the right direction and grow. I hope the difference is not too confusing. I hope you find the right people to where honesty with yourself and honesty with others is not compromised. Sometimes we may need to be alone to not have the peer pressure or any need to conform rip us away from who we are. With a couple of people i have found this workable. Sadly, they are not the easiest people to find at all. When having found them, i find they can accelerate my growth by them helping ease or heal sore points where the sore points separates me from growth.
Hoping i am making some sense. There are times to stand alone and know what is truly us yes. There are times when not having to walk alone and we walk with someone who is helping us walk the right direction can be helpful.
Too bad that there is any need to toughen up and learn to take care of own needs. If everyone was an empath, would there be any need for that? Problem in learning self care is if getting too burned the pendulum may not fall to the middle but swing and get trapped at a different extreme as hurt and mistrust rules. There is wisdom to that Tigerlily, just sadly a wisdom that i wish need't exist. As things are, there may be a sad truth to it, just one that hurts for it being the truth.
Yep Zacharias, many people are sincerely mistaken. There is such a thing as believing what you say and being wrong. It takes careful consideration on many angles sometimes to be able to draw a fair conclusion. That is part of life. Some people may not do that and may err. Lie does infer some type of intent or even intent to withhold crucial truths (lies of omission). That latter part that i put also belongs. Not all things are everyone's business yet some things which actually are another's business being intentionally withheld when harm comes of that omission can also be considered dishonesty. Dishonesty has part of its definition withholding the truth.
It gets all blurry sometimes when some are trying yet are mistaken and others are not meaning well. One says something in good faith yet are wrong and another refuses to say something and that is more dishonest than saying something that is mistaken. Oh would it were people simply have a flashing sign on their heads showing what they intend. Would make things so much easier wouldn't it? It makes it tougher on people who are considerate of many angles trying the best they can who get doubted as trust is the casualty.
When people toy with your emotions, that will certainly leave you in position to be drown, metaphorically speaking of course. When others simply are not helping you to stay afloat in life, that is metaphorically them leaving you in position of drowning. We all need love and support. The fire ant thing i found as a metaphor for how people should be and from hearing you talk it sounds like you do not have enough "fire ants" in your life. Yes, you do need someone. Maybe you need a few who remember to not let you drown in life. That is the whole thing about "fire ants". It takes more than one. It takes a colony or "it takes a village" if putting it that way. I hope you find the right others to help you be able to care and give in ways where you are not run dry and left unable to swim in life. We all need that. If right now too many are pulling you in in ways you feel trapped, you need things to even out so that all are able to float together. I wish this for you as it sounds very much needed right now.
What you say about eyes the window, but there being shutters, yes. I think of one noteworthy Russian official as you say that. He has a poker face by intention. Hard to know someones soul when they are always hiding their hand for political reasons. Affect, the way a person expresses what they feel on their face, if too constricted has it hidden for how the person is. If you judge that you can not readily judge another so need to be careful when you can't really see what is there, that is okay. Sometimes an empath may sense things being hidden have a reason to be hidden. If you wonder about your judgements on such matters, i can understand. Not sure if this is at all what you mean as it is what mostly strikes me when you talk about what the eyes would show being hidden.
Tigerllily, i wish i had no clue of what you mean. Sadly, i realized how much smart than we humans little fire ants are when it comes to things of which you speak. Fireants? Some who give are used up and burned down by those who then run to someone else to burn out. I am sorry if you have been through this in any way. Fireants really do have an instinct of shared cooperation much more. HUH??? What are you saying Raindancer?
Okay, when young i remember being in Houston and walking through flood waters. If you have been to Houston you will understand this is not rare. However, when seeing floating stuff be careful where you walk! I saw what i thought to be a bunch of wooden floating stuff and walked on through it. OUCHHHHH. I was being stung all over. I realized then the stuff was actually fire ants. They were holding to each other and staying afloat and looked like a bunch of stuff just being washed by the rain. I realized somehow they were floating when apart they would each drown, this by spreading themselves over the water. Being too young to know what surface tension was, i knew somehow they were doing this and they were doing it automatically.
In nature, when one fire ant would drown by itself, they hold to each other and float atop the water distributing themselves out over the surface. The water molecules cling to each other just enough to cause some surface tension, which the ants are able to use by holding one to the other in a huge cluster. They survive the storm by holding together. Do you hear what i am saying?
I talked about being caught in deep waters. Problem is, too many were piling on for you to keep them from drowning. What about your own air? Fire ants save each other, working together so that all will survive. Think about how poor people are at this before any of us think we have the right to judge that species by their tiny little brains. When times are tough, they don't pile on to one. They survive together.
They do not drown because they help each other! Maybe you need some "fire ants" in your life so to speak. I hope you understand how i mean. During tough times we all need people we can stay afloat with rather than people who only hold to us to keep them from drowning. We are best when we all work together to keep each other from drowning.
I wonder if your own health is a metaphor that applies. You were kept under the surface fighting for your own air when you needed others who could keep you afloat too. I hope you find those who are best for you in this way. We all need people who can help us, even the empaths.
Who is to debate this wily and more wise little creatures on their wisdom on how to stay alive together when the waters are too deep?
Wishing you floating buddies for tough times
That, and maybe there is the boundary thing too. In life sometimes the user will seek out the most giving people and burn them down. With them they bring their energy too. When this happens it becomes more impossible to those who show up in good faith or those who are lost wanting to find their way. There are those who are lost and just need someone to help them find their way. There are those who get others lost. It is that second type who can be sharks. Regarding the spiritual part, I tried to set up protection yet ended up having everything come at me. Maybe it is a matter of knowing our limits and keeping to those and then extending beyond those only as we heal and have better influences around us - influences that give us strength to face that which is not so healing. My way of saying not to jump into the deepest waters until we have the full deep water gear (good friends, our own healing, good life circumstance being the deep water gear). If we get into the deepest spirituality it can trigger that which is not healed in us or if we have people close who are terrible influences they can push us beyond what we can deal with. We need to be ready for the deepest waters and have the right spiritual gear regarding influences around us i think. Hope that makes sense.
Gifts can be curses under the wrong circumstance. It is all too easy to understand why someone would want to stop it. I myself got myself in deep water from mine. Part was the boundaries and part was a very spiritual path supported by the most outrageous synchronicity that many said it must be a "God thing". It happened in a way that many found hard to believe for how things unfolded, yet opposite of what was needed. It would have been better to never have been in tune in some ways for something to happen that ended up spirit shattering. That show about the psychic who helped Phoenix police had years of trying to suppress her own gifts as much of it tormented her. Much of this can be a double edged sword and when the reverse side cuts it can cut deeply. For myself i recommend people be very careful as if they get themselves into water too deep they may just drown. Discretion really is the better part of valour sometimes and with this it is best to be careful. I hear all you say and think what you say would be very much for the best - in a perfect world. Sadly, we are in a world where we can get squashed if not careful and a gift can end up being a curse if we do not have the right people around. We can not have a greater gift? We also can not have a greater curse. It all depends on so much else that is beyond merely us. Please be extra careful when diving in deep waters. There may be sharks there and the water may be so deep we can not swim back when we are tired and need relief. Just some words from someone who is broken so much it is hard to put these words. I got in too deep. My life has been broken. I don't say this with any intent of demoralizing anyone as much as saying be careful out there.
You are a totally normal empath who just sounds a bit burned out. As for being detached and a little aloof around people, that is also totally normal for an empath. When you are doing that your empath radar, as I call it, takes over your mind and you get quiet and anti-social. And when overloaded and burned out you as an empath will naturally want to be alone and secluded. That's totally normally and is your mind's way of telling you "we need a break". You can counter this through daily grounding exercises. If you keep up on your grounding you will feel more energetic and more involved in social activities and being around people.
This is where i struggle. Though i can have intuition about lies often i assume the best going in so can overlook my intuition. When someone is lying and it only starts an argument i am not sure what to say. If they live in the same house that makes it awkward. For myself, i can give my own honesty but if the other doesn't things can get stuck right there. I try to give my own truth and see if they will match it. If they doubt mine without giving theirs that says a bit itself sometimes. That does not sound like what you run into as much as you giving yours and you getting some lines on you. Piling it on? consistency can show the difference in that. I had something odd happen where the explanation and apology sounded like some elaborate made up tale, yet sadly it was one of those things where life really was weirder than fiction. That happens. If you get someone who piles it and you know it's not legit, best to you sorting it in ways to not feel like you are biting your tongue or feeling like you are getting into pointless arguments that are just you being snowed under by one line after another. Good luck on this! It gets tricky.
Yes, when things get too overwhelming and the pain is too acute, i can shut down. For some of us, support can help with this, especially gentle caring support. Hugs help. Best to you getting the type of support you need to get through this. It sounds like you have had your share of pain and this is a bit much for you at this time. If you can break down to the point you can not function, this sounds like a defense against being overwhelmed. Can you tell your family this so they will understand?
This may not be a matter of being more feminine per se. It isn't even about sexual orientation really. I think it is about integration. How i mean that is though things have gotten better, our society still has behaviors it considers "masculine" and behaviors it considers "feminine". We have our natural differences as set by biology. Some may consider that some who are gay are more feminine, yet need that really need to be the case or do some who are gay not feel as intimidated by showing non-male stereotype ways about themselves? You can use such terms as Jungian animus and anima or such, yet doesn't it come to balance in some ways? In society, too often we say this is masculine and this is feminine and draw some arbitrary line down the middle and say a guy who shows any action past that arbitrary dividing line as feminine or a gal past that arbitrary line as "butch" yet in nature we would have much more overlap than we would difference. We chose to make the division more discreet. I wonder if your question could go the other way also. What i mean is this: Could a woman who is more masculine than her hyper feminine buddies be more empathic also. HUH? We may assume that empath is something under only feminine characteristics. Yet when we sever much of who we are to conform to societal standards of masculine or feminine are we not also cutting out much of our own heart? When we do this, how can we be as empathic? Does this make sense for what i am saying? Maybe to be in touch with the spiritual world around us we need more of all who we are, not just some societal convention that tells us to be this way or that way depending on our gender and sexual orientation. The more we are us, the more we can be in touch with others in the fullest ways, both emotionally and in spirit. I hope that makes sense. It is just a thought. What do you think about our being stronger in what we can sense based on us having more of who we are in the first place? By nature we are more the same than not and when we throw that away to conform to some stereotype, we lose our gift to understand what is really happening out there as we no longer know what is happening even within us. Oh, i read above and someone else said the same thing. silly me i need to read the ENTIRE THREAD. Hope i added to his point in some humble way.
I am not sure if you had any traumatic event that would cause such loss or maybe life has gotten to where things are going so smoothly that simply the need does not exist. Good luck with you regaining what has been lost, lest it come from being at some resting place or life going so well that the gift is simply not needed at this time.
This gets so tricky. We maybe can have symptoms come up as a result of not following the paths we need, yet do live in physical bodies that can have their own things go on apart from what we do. Even psychologists that are good will ask if you have seen a doctor to rule out that which is purely physical so you seeking a doctor is a good idea. If there is any pain that could be leading to symptoms apart from not fulfilling your destiny is always good to keep in tune with after that. Old pains can show up in interesting ways. Please just do not worry about you not fulfilling destiny or such until the rest is taken care of. Given you taking care of that, what you ask is a good question. I hope you find the answer that has you understand more clearly what is really going on.
That is a good question about what a reading would say. It sounds like about now you need things to go smoothly without major setbacks. That you are able to accomplish a lot despite that says a fair bit about your resolve. I hope you find what you need to keep the major setbacks be anticipated and gotten around or to keep them from coming up so much. Best to you getting good guidance in how to go forward.
"Children are hard for me to read. Their minds are so jumpy and wandering around. Lol. " I wonder if that could be a case with it being easier to read what is more enduring qualities versus the quickly changing. I wonder if static around would make it trickier for catching the immediate and quickly changing.
Hey again Hop-daddy It's a hard time here yet a weak smile comes to me when i log here and see your name. A weak smile is a blessing to me these days. Thank you!
Yes, it is quite a story. I was wondering if there were a few things in that i shouldn't have said in my post above and there remains much more i do not say regarding the things that pointed to the celebrity as it would compromise her identity. Her following me into the store was not in Southern California. It was in Washington state. That is the part where i go "huh?" even more. I did look myself up on one of those people searches and yup my address and current phone was there, probably from my license and registration in Washington. Did i write on my Facebook about her and she was somehow living in the same area in Washington state when she was from originally from across the ocean and then maybe a several years ago in Atlanta? How does this happen?
Thank you for the link about synchronicity. I used to not believe in this type of stuff in the least, though that night shook i mentioned shook my foundation needless to say. I saw another quote online about synchronicity that seems to answer some who said it was a 'satan thing':
"God would never point you in the wrong direction and it’s highly unlikely that the evil side is responsible for these coincidences when they are only love based."
So what has gone on for what happened has me in shock. Her not verifying her following me into the store has led to much damage. Will it all just be like this with nothing further on the issue and it leaving me being a worse person than before this all happened? Is this all there is for my having been so faithful to the signs? Or is there something that will direct things into better in tomorrow that i can not see? I do not know.
Thank you for your understanding and your encouragement. For yourself, i hope that the synchronicity that you appear in your life will guide you well . . . with results that are a true blessing to your life. For us believing or having faith and putting in the extra steps into our path to try to do right or want the right results, we certainly need that. It seems how it has gone has been to leave damage where the original intent was care and brokenness from having walked a path of faith and dedication. What is left of me hopes the universe has better in store and will guide things better, though one thing i learned which applies to both her and me and well just about to anyone else: we need to make sure we have those in our lives that will not step in the way or push us the wrong direction. Prayers from others are sparse as i find it seems few really want to listen to the universe or God. They weren't listening they aren't listening still. I guess they never will. Which is the stronger though, those influences or the universe/God? The results as they stand would seem a cosmic joke. Will she simply leave me being doubted in ways i can not heal as well so that my affection of her and prayers for her are lessened? This is not a good result for years of concern. We can overcome so much. What is my human limit? Her caring more about herself, doing the right thing, and the world around is the only result to all of this that would be justice and mercy. This is not healing for her. She and i both caring less as a result of how things unfolded would be a crime. As things currently stand, it does not look so good. Yet even her birthplace name and mine point to each other. Her last name is the first part of my birthplace name with 'view' after her last name and hers would refer to something that is fully on cue but i can't put without it being too easy to look up who she is.
I hope to be able to report better to you than how things currently are. My deep appreciation for any hope you have that i will be able to.
And i wish so hope that your guides help you in ways that are easy to understand and help it all unfold in ways to overcome that obstacles that others would throw in the way. Paths of faith are not the easiest. So for you i hope the extra effort will show pay off in the long run in terms of peace, healing, and larger blessings.
Thank you for the reply Hop-Daddy. For what you go through, it is good that you do get urgent warnings when there is danger about. If it is a guardian angel good! We all need protection in this life as things get pretty darn hairy at times. That you hear voices relating to people you hadn't talked to in awhile and then they call quickly after, i wonder if you have either something precognitive going on or if there is something they pick up from afar after you think of them, if that makes sense. Getting answers to life's problems is nice. I could use a huge dose of that about now.
I appreciate your wishes that i can help with better understanding what is going on. Much that alluded to one person both in voice and outrageous synchronicity and feeling of spirits did unfold, yet in a sad nearly tragic way. I had written a celebrity some years back with concern about her, wondering if she was just being appreciated for her body and looks and yet being battered down by some unsavory types. Right after writing her i got a couple of unexplained phone calls from Atlanta, but was not there to take them. After years of synchronicity and thinking something was supposed to happen, i wrote about it on my facebook and a few weeks later i was coming out of a Safeway and something astounding happened. I saw this woman coming in who was hiding her face by a hooded coat, though the store was warm inside. She was peeking at me with one eye, yet unlike someone who would be a schizoid personality or such shyly hiding themselves but walking the other direction, she walked right toward me. When close she bowed her head, i looked down under the hood just barely and she lifted her head then and the hood fell. Guess who it was???? Yuppers. She had this brief expression of fear because her hood falling but then had this look of relief and pained anticipation. My jaw dropped. It was her, after so many years. She had remembered my letters, that someone actually gave a crud about her heart rather than just her body or face, with enough affection to be looking into my facebook years later. Sadly, this states that maybe my hunch was right in that she hadn't been treated so well when a celebrity gets a couple of letters of concern then is looking at their facebook years later. How little concern has been shown for her that she does that?
My mind blanked out and i went into shock. I posted something on my facebook that night about the woman with honest eyes and a sincere look in her face. The next morning there was a phone call, the voice being an angry type of hurt, "That was me in the store!", click. My mind was swirling and i tried to come to terms with it being her, but others disbelieved enough that dissociation worsened. My boundaries collapsed and in that state a couple spoke in sharp terms against her and my mind broke more fully and i bashed her on facebook. That after it was me who walked away? There are some who it seems resented anything about her at all and my mind was too far gone to decipher what was what. I wonder how she felt. I was shattered in how things went and my healing from it is compromised by many not believing me. I did post on my facebook at one point when she still may have been looking in trying to explain everything. At another point i asked for at least a note i could take to a therapist so i could be believed, none has come.
So much of what it seemed to allude to went badly because i was too silly in some of my influences and should have been keeping some riff raff out of my life a bit better to be honest. My bad. I felt horrible about things i said, yet angry about being in position for being doubted and even struggle with God/ the universe etc about many things that happened that have me in position for being disbelieved for things that really did happen. Some of the most extraordinary could be comfirmed by someone who was multiple personality , but her therapist insists on 'alter death' at times so that rather than having her memories more in tact, after years of therapy she is missing many memories including those of raising her son.
The most recent confirmation of one of the voices happened after this, but i don't know if that means anything else will come of it all or not. I am dismayed and hurt and look to the sky going 'why?'. I am sure that in no way all of how this went after she showed up helped her. It has certainly hurt me and my life. I had a terrible tirade against her after some said 'it wasn't a God thing but a satan thing and she was satan's toy sent to break my faith'. My mind was too far gone to see what a horrendous and outrageous thing for anyone to say. I fought out of the state where my boundaries had been totally shattered as part of me was fighting against what seemed so terrible things to say about her not seeming right on their parts somehow.
My life has been terribly hurt by all of this, with me having my spirit very broken. My faith in God and the universe is not good right now. Why like this? I am feeling guilty about things i said yet angry and hurt about being left in position to where people disbelieve me for something that really did happen. Much secondary trauma from being disbelieved.
So is there something yet unplayed in this where she will muster up the ethics to say 'yes, i followed him into the store' and something that will play out that will explain so many mysteries? I do not know. It doesn't look good. It feels good to at least talk about a couple of voices of things that seemed outlandishly impossible for things that did happen and not be considered insane. White Russian reference? Geez not in a million years could that have come up by sheer coincidence. Some of the synchronicity was so outrageous it seemed it must be a God thing, so then why like this for how things are going? I am changed into a less caring person by how many reacted. I spent years helping others who turned coldly away.
One of the things on synchronicity is that in her home country, i was visiting a town and only talked with one person there all day, some guy at a t-shirt stall. The person talked about his sister being in the states now, on the other side of the camera now, flying back and forth from coast to coast, but her being actually being two years younger than what people thought. Later i found she lived there, does have four brothers. The picture i found of the woman at the VK website (Ukraine, white Russia), was wearing a t-shirt with Paramount studios and the birth year was two years younger than the stated age of the celebrity. After i posted about it on facebook, the year of birth listing was removed from the VK profile. When i say outrageous synchronicity, i mean OUTRAGEOUS. Out of about 40,000 people the only one i talk with is her brother and he says something about her that is exactly what i need to know to find her listing 12 years later and what he said is certainly something she would not have wanted him to say so he probably would not normally. The name that led to the updated name and the finding of the VK listing was out of Atlanta from a few years back, two years younger than the celebrity's stated age. What in heavens name is going on?
I know this is lengthy and appreciate your patience in it. What when all the signs and being loyal to God and the spirits leads ultimately to heartbreak and my intent of her thinking at least one person out there gives a crap about more than just her body and face gets hurt to where my original intent is hurt and i feel duped for having been loyal to the signs?
Is there more than one force out there that plays with empathic signals and synchronicity or was much simply interfered with by some with not so pure intent when it came to it? Was there different ways she should have done? Different ways i should have done? Was it all a prankster or ill influences putting things wrong or is it really still ongoing with better to come? I do not know, but have felt myself shaking at times from some of the events along the way going 'did that really really happen?". It all seemed so enchanting and mystifying along the way, yet part of me under it was going logically 'no way this is happening !!!!!!!!!!!!' and the fall out is very serious.
I am wondering how well a person should develop such senses as it seems like there is a wading pool and the more into it you can get the deeper the waters get. What about getting into shark infested waters? I am thoroughly lost. Again, this is lengthy. I have seen you posting and there seems a kind hearted way about you so hope you will understand my confusion and explanation of a few things that happened, though i leave many many parts out for space sake. I am shaken to the soul and hurting. I look to the sky and ask 'why??????????' and am heartbroken, looking like someone simply insane to any who walk in only a logical world where nothing in spirit ever directs anything.
Oh, and the angel i associated with the voices, Uriel. That is where i know it sounds nearly outlandish as Uriel is one of the top three of all angels. At the same time, i first saw his name and broke down crying when reading about the 'cloaked angel' remembering a night through which i should not have lived. I had taken about 60 - 80 strong meds with alcohol. Part of me turned and said to God, "i leave it to you to decide". I sensed two presences fighting over me that night, one being cloaked and far the stronger wanting me to live. My psych nurse knowing of the meds that i took said i should be dead. That certainly there is no way at all that i should have awakened after 6 1/2 hrs sleep feeling refreshed fully as if taking nothing and seeking no medical help. one of the meds i took normally would leave me groggy 4 hrs after waking up when just taking one of them. It felt as if i had taken nothing at all, rather than being so sick i would be puking my guts out. As i say, my psych nurse says that the chances of this, her knowing these meds, was 0.000. Why me? Why someone as major as Uriel? and why for it to have gone like this? Uriel of all angels supposedly the one who knows the most of the timeline and i don't understand why he would have me live for a time when my faith is fully broken. Is the final verse in this yet written?
I am confused about how these things work so came here where maybe a few could at least understand things that seem paranormal. You having listened means more to me than i can say.
You may be right. One thing that confuses me though is that it did seem like an outside presence, though maybe part of me dissociated that has ability that i do not understand. Whatever it is, it seems like it does not need to be preceded by any ringing or anything else. It is strong enough to simply come forward and say what it wishes, no need for ear ringing or anything. There is a name i associate with it, but i do not see how that would be the case as the name is of a very important one, though it would be one who works with time lines and metaphor. So right now i am unclear of what is going on. Maybe it really is precognitive empathy or it could be something coming from something that has a different conception of the timeline and has no need for others definitions or conventions on how things should be done. I simply do not know. So much got involved i am really lost a to what is going on. The presence i mention is one that i only had any clarity about 1992 when something happened that is by no means possible, yet it happened. At least my psych nurse said the chances of it are 0.00% chance of it unfolding how it did. I am more than a tiny bit confused on many things. There is a name i associate with some things, yet i find it no way possible as it is the name of an important and rather busy one ( i would think too busy for me and would send a subordinate ), though it would explain a night that is utterly beyond my comprehension. How do i know when i am sensitive to something or it is something that is so off the charts strong that it will be heard? Really lost at this point.
Oh there is one thing that did seem precognitive once, though i am still unsure of 'whose' precognitive it was. I was once on a bus going to Edinburgh to a music festival. At the time, i had a question of someone and even a theme song related to that. I flipped out and wondered about my sanity when i felt what seemed like some amazing presence, loving and gentle, approach in spirit. I heard myself blurt out the name of the person, then the presence started playing my theme song of finding her to me. I got to the festival and heard that very song played by a group from Bolivia doing it native american style, then a bagpipe and drum group doing it, then an aboriginal from Australia playing it on a digereedo (sp?). It ended up being the theme song of the entire festival. It was the only festival i had been to in years and the song itself was 16 years old, thus taking it out of the new and trendy thus very likely occurence category. I hadn't thought about the song for a few months before that at all as things had been busy and i was snowed under by others needs and i felt the 'presence' only after i was finally free of others needs hammering me. Would that happening just be something of my mind playing tricks or something more, like precognitive?
Yep, follow gut. If you are more around people you find more authentic who are not users or such that is a big change. We all have times when we need to clear out something old and our gut level reaction may be about someone in the past and the new person we aren't giving a fair shake, but when it comes to people feeling fake careful. People who are faking may have an agenda where they want to use people for all they have. One thing i also learned was about people who are authentic but are 'rebel rousers' and have fights all the time calling each other nasty stuff based on even trivial stuff. DO NOT have these types around when something important comes up or be ready to really regret the results. Why didn't i listen to my own gut on that? Anyhow, you sound content with your newer direction. Best to you having caring friendships where people cover each others backs rather than stab them and people care more to make peace where possible rather than foster totally unneeded wars with too many casualties. You sound content with your current direction. Good!
Seems to make sense. A sociopath will try to get help in keeping their position of being a bully or to allow them to get away with the wrong thing when they actually know it is the wrong thing. An empath if seeking help it seems would seek help to help someone feel better. Targeting the empath must seem like shooting fish in a barrel to the sociopath. Getting help with that targeting is too easy as too many do not question 'what is the morally right thing to do?' What is said about the lone voice standing up for what is right seems so true as empaths would care about what is right. Sad that such a large percentage of people will take no stand and simply help with harm being caused or withdraw when comfort or healing is needed for someone who is hurting, 'the easy way' as stated.
Any sense of if the entity is wanting something helpful or harmful from you? I am not sure what the nature of her relationship was with this entity, it being one of concern or more of control or harm. Why her eyes would dilate and become more snakelike, i wonder what that would mean. My best to you going whatever way is the most healing for all involved. Sending hopeful enlightenment feelings your way.
Some years ago i wrote a celebrity. Shortly after i wrote her i saw someone who looked just like her and started hearing a voice that referred to a white Russian. I thought it about the one who i just saw. Years later i was at a place thinking about the celebrity after much synchronicity had happened. I heard a reference Wharton and had an image of two sitting together, one finally at peace with love. I had thought the reference to the latest i had seen who looked so much like the celebrity to whom all the synchronicity was alluding. I thought, Brad needs to contact me on Facebook and it will lead somehow to her (the celebrity) being talked about.
Brad and I had not talked for nearly 20 years. When getting back from my trip, guess whose friendship request was awaiting on Facebook? Yep, Brad.
We talked, something came up, and finally one day in resignation i posted about the celebrity that i had written to in concern of her welfare and about whom there seemed a TON of synchronicity. A few weeks later, I was walking into a store. When leaving i saw a woman entering wearing a jacket with a hood covering her face. She was peeking at me with one eye but with the hood it was impossible to make out who it was. She didn't walk away but walked right toward me. When getting within a foot, she looked down but then i looked into the hood and guess who? The celebrity i had originally written. I guess she had looked at my facebook and saw me talking about her. For years i had been where i had no public phone number or way to be contact and a few months before i finally got more in the open and once talking about her, she showed up!
I went into shock, walked away from her. Ouch. Posted something about her on Facebook about the honest eyes and sincere expression on her face. Got a call the next day, "That was me in the store!" click. My mind struggled with the identity as when i talked about it none believed and there was someone who showed up on a dating site the day i joined who i thought may be her, so i struggled with who is who as i had fallen into dissociation.
Posted on my facebook about needing a partner in life, someone to dance through life with. The white Russian reference i had for years changed to Mishkutenok, a Russian ice skater during those months. Found something online during my haze about a possible name (women's names can change) out of a city from which i was called but not home to take the call after writing the letters of concern. I looked up the name and found someone on VK, a site out of the Ukraine, and looked up the listing and a picture was there of a woman that looked just like the one who followed me into the store a few months earlier. Um, wasn't Ukraine called White Russia in 1917? Was the White Russian reference i heard in voice all the years the very celebrity i had written and the reference changed to a Russian skater whose name i was familiar with when i started posting "i need the dance"? Pairs skating is afterall a type of dance.
Just a week ago someone was looking into my Facebook i hadn't talked with for 30 years. I had dated his ex before he did and he married her. At some level i had been concerned about her for years as she had some haunting abuse issues. One link led to another and i found her Facebook listing, teaching in Wharton now. She had remarried. I felt certain that the Wharton reference was not about the most recent who looked just like the celebrity but that my question of how the one i had dated was doing was finally answer. If not for dating her, i would not have fled to the city where i first quite by accident learned of the celebrity.
I had a breakdown and went into some state where all boundaries collapsed and a couple who never wanted the celebrity around trashed her and in my state without boundaries i lashed out against her. My mind couldn't tell the difference much anymore. So what she knew is she did hold onto my letters with enough affection for years, showed up when i wrote about her and i walked away leaving her disappointed (in a totally different state than where both of us where when first writing - had she moved to the same place and somehow was there when i wrote?) Then i lashed out against her and she does not know why. I was brokenhearted to in that state lash out at her after years of concern. I am confused and dismayed. If synchronicity is still happening, does that mean the situation is not yet final?
The White Russian, Mishkutenok, and Wharton references, do those sound at all like clairaudience? The synchronicity involved over the celebrity was jaw dropping apart from the voices. Any thoughts on what is going on and if what i experienced may indeed be clairaudience? The voice always seemed like from someone outside of me, as if someone approaching then speaking, someone maybe a tad stronger than me. There was this sense when pulling up the listing from out of the Ukraine of him asking, do you understand now? It was like someone had for years been talking in a metaphor that would reveal itself.
The first question though, does some of what i put sound like clairaudience , two being done in metaphoric terms with White Russian and then the skaters name and one with a city name that did refer to someone i had been concerned about and felt like it was hard to move on from until knowing she was at peace?