Forum Activity for @vwsmiles

bvashti
@vwsmiles
06/16/17 09:33:57AM
8 posts

Sickness and shutting down


Empath

Hop Daddy:

@vwsmiles:

It appears to be very common for empaths to shut down and go numb when overloaded with emotion. I tend to have a very close emotional connection to my immediate family so when there is sadness or drama I seem to get slammed with emotions and then go numb or shut down. And as you said, it is your defense mechanism. That's very true for all humans when overloaded with emotional trauma.

You should be able to get out of that emotional shut down by meditating and grounding immediately when you are presented with that situation.

Thanks Hop Daddy.  I realized that I needed grounding and have been working on it. While it still bothers me that people think I am unfeeling, I know I am not and that is all that matters.  I can't make others truly understand why I feel the way I do, all I can do is explain it to them. 

bvashti
@vwsmiles
06/06/17 09:50:10AM
8 posts

Sickness and shutting down


Empath

Karen2: Well...in a way you do have to learn to let go...but for an empath it's a completely different process...getting info from a non empath is getting NO info to an empath....anytime someone tells me I need to learn to let go I wanna smack em....tell me what I need to DO to learn to let go...otherwise your words are empty and meaningless to me....lol
LOL.  I feel the same. 

bvashti
@vwsmiles
06/05/17 02:23:09PM
8 posts

Sickness and shutting down


Empath

Karen2:
bvashti:

Good Morning,

Recently my father was sent to the hospital unexpectedly.  Years ago both my mom and sister had breast cancer.  I realized that whenever anyone who I am very close to get ill; I shut down, the emotions are way too overwhelming.  I generally break down and cannot function, so I taught myself to just shut down.  My family sees this as being uncaring, but it is the opposite. 

Does anyone else shut down like me?  I hate being so misunderstood, but no one seems to understand that I cannot handle the emotions.

Thanks.

VW

Hi...yes..inshut down all the time when things get too overwhelming....because It's not just your own feelings and emotions...as an empath your picking up theirs as well...they're scared and in pain and you're feeling MORE not less...i don't know how to explain that to non empath ppl...ie family....so I just do whatever I have to do to keep sane....so you are definitely NOT alone...you are simply taking in too MUCH emotions....not to little...it's a natural response being an empath....
Well said.  It makes so much sense now.  I am feeling their pain and fear.  My family is ok health wise now.  My sister told me that I need to learn to let go of feeling the way I do.  I tried to explain how I feel, but she said I just need to "get over it". LOL.  This is not something to "get over". When we were kids and had to go to the doctor or dentist I felt her getting shots and fillings.  My mom could not understand why I would freak out when they were giving my sister a shot or taking blood, but I could feel everything like it was happening to me.  She got a penicillin shot once and I passed out in the waiting room.  No one knew why, but I felt the needle go in.  Thanks for the insight.

bvashti
@vwsmiles
06/05/17 02:17:34PM
8 posts

Sickness and shutting down


Empath

Jan Howorth: Hi, I have a similar coping mechanism, I purposely don't remember deaths as I try and shut them out. My only sibling brother (the narcissist!) gets depressed a week before and a week after each one. It's 20 since my dad died and if I see anything happening between a father and son, be it in life or on film I still crack up. I can shut out emotions at will and find it easy and as the saying goes bitterness will eat you from insid, it doesn't bother me. Like you suggest it seems callous but it's the only way I can keep my emotions stable. My mother, who abused me, was schitzophrenic and I didn't see her for 20 years and when I met up again she did nothing but talk about my brother. I use her as a yardstick to keep sane, if I feel myself losing the plot I think of her and withdraw till I'm in control of my own mind again. I've just bought a Tourmsline bracelet and feel as though it's helping me, I have just done a term teaching and don't feel as stressed as before. Jan
Hi Jan, I do the same thing.  I can shut my emotions off in a minute, most people think that I am so cold, but it is survival for me.  Sometimes turning off is the only way that I can make it through the pain.  I still process the pain, I just have to do it a little at a time. I'll have to look into tourmaline.  Thanks for you input.  :)

bvashti
@vwsmiles
06/05/17 02:12:24PM
8 posts

Sickness and shutting down


Empath

Raindancer:

Yes, when things get too overwhelming and the pain is too acute, i can shut down.  For some of us, support can help with this, especially gentle caring support.  Hugs help.  Best to you getting the type of support you need to get through this.  It sounds like you have had your share of pain and this is a bit much for you at this time.  If you can break down to the point you can not function, this sounds like a defense against being overwhelmed.  Can you tell your family this so they will understand? 

Yes, That is exactly what it is, my defense mechanism.  :)  Thank you!!!!

bvashti
@vwsmiles
06/05/17 11:23:14AM
8 posts

Sickness and shutting down


Empath

Good Morning,

Recently my father was sent to the hospital unexpectedly.  Years ago both my mom and sister had breast cancer.  I realized that whenever anyone who I am very close to get ill; I shut down, the emotions are way too overwhelming.  I generally break down and cannot function, so I taught myself to just shut down.  My family sees this as being uncaring, but it is the opposite. 

Does anyone else shut down like me?  I hate being so misunderstood, but no one seems to understand that I cannot handle the emotions.

Thanks.

VW


updated by @vwsmiles: 10/17/17 04:17:59AM
bvashti
@vwsmiles
03/01/17 07:17:29AM
8 posts

Sleep issues


Empath

YES!!  Sleeping is horrible for me. I have been drinking Sleep Water made by the Neuro company.  It has a combination of melatonin, valerian, magnesium and L-tryptophan.  It works pretty good.  There is also an app "OMG I can mediate" that is useful.  But, you need to make sure to use the sleep meditation because if you use the regular one the womans voice comes back and will startle you, (at least it did me).  LOL.   I have had sleeping issues since I was a little girl, and they have continued to plague me as an adult.  I will look into the liquid magnesium.  I do have ambien, but I don't like to rely on it every night. 

bvashti
@vwsmiles
03/01/17 07:10:21AM
8 posts

Relationships....help!!


Empath

Hi Joni,

I am in the same bind you are. I was in a relationship with a sociopath/narcissist for almost 20 years. I am just coming out of the storm. I tend to be drawn to the same type of man, even after all I went through. But I get it, I don't want to be bored or trapped either.  I haven't taken the plunge but have thought about it.  Maybe doing something different will result in a good thing. If we take the plunge we have to have our eyes open and go in without self sabotaging ourselves. I'm game if you are. :) 

Like Trevor said, we are a work in progress.