Forum Activity for @kaedem

kaedem
@kaedem
09/10/16 02:06:18PM
2 posts

Hi Everyone, newbie here!


Empath

I sort of stumbled into it by chance, a friend of mine was taking a Meyer's Briggs test and I decided to take it to pass some time and ended up being an INFJ and googled what the heck that means beyond what they mentioned and I learned that empaths often are only in this group of people and described what i meant and I was dumbfounded. As long as I can remember I have always sucked up the feelings of other people, and I have always absolutely hated it! When I was younger it was not so much with anger, but man now that I am older, get a pissed off person talking to me and I become a fireball of rage ready to knock them into next Tuesday.

I don't like to be touched, and I very rarely touch other people. It just makes me feel weird. On a flip side to that.. I love love love to touch and be touche by the person I am in love with which currently is not a part of my life so I am touch free for now :P

I have noticed things in my life, that if I think it, it happens. Not so dramatically but for instance, I once was married and he was overseas, I came home and looked down at the henna on my hands and thought to myself, as soon as this henna fades away, so will he. AND A WEEK LATER he said he wanted a divorce. I almost try to not talk to myself like that anymore because I am afraid of what I will think and what will happen. (paranoia?) My "gut" feeling is about 90% accurate, and I stupidly always ignore it and suffer the consequences later. I am trying to learn to listen.

I have also learned to never ever ever ever ever tell someone about an upcoming event that I may find excitement in, meeting someone new, project, art piece, whatever. I feel when I tell someone, it always fails and when I keep it to myself, I find success in that. It's hard to control happiness when you just want to shout it to the world, but it is what it is, for me something that requires silence.

I work with a big bunch of the most negative downers I have ever come across (i gave them my two week notice finally after a year and a half with them yay!) I absolutely can't handle that, it makes my brain overload and kind of just shut down like Homer Simpson with drool coming out his mouth.

When I come home, I have a 4 year old. This child sucks out what little life is left in me and at the end of the day, I just want complete alone time, I don't want anyone to talk to me, I don't call or talk to friends, I avoid communication with just about everyone because I really just need to be alone.

If I could spend the rest of my days in a little shack on the beach, I totally would!

I am trying to learn the grounding technique, and so far it isn't working, but I will keep trying!

I am sure there is so much more I could write but I don't want to bore you all with a book. :D


updated by @kaedem: 01/27/17 06:04:06PM
kaedem
@kaedem
09/10/16 01:44:58PM
2 posts

9 day


Empath

Very interesting! My numbers is... don't laugh... 911 I see this ridiculous number more often than I care to think lol! And it pops up most often at times of restlessness. It seems like every single day there for a while I was looking at my phone on the dot at 9:11.. message would pop up on my phone.. 911 I ended up not talking to a single on of those people anymore, I took it as a sign to stay far away from them. When these soul sucking people are not in my life, I don't see the number often.

I don't really know what numbers have to do with our lives but it is hard to ignore something we pick up on all the time.