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Meetup.com is usually a good source and didn't fail on this occasion for you. Try this group ...
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updated by @trevor-lewis: 11/13/17 03:36:22PM
Meetup.com is usually a good source and didn't fail on this occasion for you. Try this group ...
Let us know how you get on.
I just found this interesting interview with Dr. Jeffrey Mogil from a 2015 NPR TED Radio Hour
Let me cut to the meat:
Details of the interview:
Dr. Mogil first reports that people experience more physiological stress when left in a room with a stranger than with a friend. He then discusses three experiments; first having a subject put their hand in freezing water on their own, second accompanied by a stranger and third accompanied by a friend. After each, the subject was asked to rate how much pain they felt. The subjects reported the same pain whether they were with a friend or on their own. They reported the most pain when accompanied by a friend, the hypothesis being that under these circumstances they felt part of the friend’s pain in addition to their own.
Dr. Mogil goes on to say that the same empathy occurs after strangers have played a cooperative video game, “Rock Band”, together for 15 minutes; that playing this game together reduces the stress between two people to the same extend as being good friends.
The following is my own commentary on this experiment:
Personally, I suspect the fact that the video game was based around music increased the extent to which the two people were able to come into sync. Their physiology would have harmonized with the musical rhythms providing extra resonance within the short time period.
As empaths know that we often experience the emotions of strangers. It is why many of us have difficulty with crowds or shopping at Walmart. We also know that it is common place for us to feel the connection to friends and work colleagues. This provides the scientific basis that supports the fact that we are more likely to experience the emotions of people close to us (people with whom we resonate) than with strangers.
Other factors affecting how we pick up energy from other people include the following:
It is less likely to be the space of the apartment itself as someone in a neighboring apartment.
The best solution is always find what works for you.
Some material for you to get you going...
Keep asking for help!
: Forgiveness is like a meditation. We don't meditate once and expect to be enlightened; it is a practice. Have a read of the article anyway and see if there is anything in there that can give you a new perspective.
I come from a space of deciding that I chose my parents. I'm not saying that I always think that it was a wise choice. There are still days when I wake up wondering "What was I thinking?!?!?" but it does put me in the space of hero rather than victim knowing that I wouldn't be who I am today if I had chosen different parents. (and yes, I could be wrong about this but personally I find it a useful working hypothesis).
A suggestion for something different? Try forgiveness - forgiving your father, forgiving yourself fro how you feel about him, forgiving God for setting you up this way in the first place.
Have a look at http://empathcommunity.eliselebeau.com/trevor-lewis/blog/1932/hooponopono-the-hawaiian-art-of-forgiveness
Blessings to you.
In four years on here I can't remember seeing anybody taking about themselves projecting emotions onto other people. I have to agree that, at least for myself, I would consider such an action inappropriate (and, yes, bordering on unethical).
Protecting yourself from their emotions is fine.
Sending them positive energy WITH THEIR PERMISSION is fine.
Sending them positive energy PASSIVELY without their permission (just by being around them) is fine.
Actively working on them in any way without their permission as, at the very least, highly suspect. The analogy I have used in the past is: How would you feel if a friend of yours let themselves into your house and started cleaning and tidying your home without your knowledge or permission?
OK - disclaimer ... I haven't used this technique myself (I am wary of the sprinkler system in my apartment complex). And be careful "playing with fire"! but I have had this HIGHLY recommended by someone I fully trust. So here goes:
I don't know the appropriate quantities of Salts and alcohol so start small.
I'd love to hear how you get on if you try this.
When I meet other (potential) empaths, I like to keep it down to just a few questions:
I used to include: "Do you avoid watching the news and sad or violent movies?" but I've met plenty of empaths who don't avoid these.
Been there myself!
The fact that you are on this site (you are an empath) and feeling this way suggests that the pain you are feeling may not be yours. It may well be her pain that you are processing (in addition to your own hurt).
" What do I do now? When does my heart stop hurting?" - Have you seen my blog about the Light Projector technique? It will help you ground, help you feel better and send her heal;ing energy:
Blessings to you
short answer - YES!
longer answer: well you already know the longer answer. You've heard the stories. Most of us developed our abilities as a survival mechanism. Those of us that have taken a spiritual path through life have strengthened those abilities through practices like meditation and breath work which have deepened our sensitivities along the way. Actually, there is a documented correlation between psychic abilities and childhood abuse. I think I remember that Elise has written about that (it might even have been part of her doctorate thesis). Certainly, you will find articles on the Web if you google the connection.
"I believe I might be an Empath" - I dont believe you are an empath - I KNOW you are. Everything you are saying is classic!
"can it be that some negative feelings I get from a person last within me for multiple days or even a week etc.?" - Certainly, he has got his attention on you and you are picking up everything he is "dumping" on you.
"Is this 'normal' that these aches can last for such a long time?" yes, if there is a strong connection between the two of you. There are a number of factors affecting how we pick up energy from other people:
"does it mean he is feeling that at this moment in time, or does he think about me and hence extending his pain to me at that moment, or did he more like 'dump' these feelings on me at that point when we met and merrily went his way leaving me to deal with what he left me?". I suspect that it is a combination of "he is feeling that at this moment in time, or does he think about me and hence extending his pain to me at that moment" but I would be interested in other people here weighing in on this topic.
"I feel like the 'real me' is emerging again after being dormant for many years," There is a lot of "waking up" going on - a tidal wave of new consciousness. You are right on target with this new energy. Enjoy it ... as best you can ... its a wild ride!
Wow, this appears to hit a note given the number of fast responses here
No you are not weird. Just a member of a select "club" who are still discovering other "members". You are not alone.
Start with Elise's Empath Survival Program: https://www.eliselebeau.com/empath-survival-program
My own favorite techniques are:
Yes, I get a gut level reaction to this but, more than that, I think so do you. Your head is trying to convince you to go one way and your heart (and gut) are pulling in a different direction. Time to claim your power. As you wake up more and more to who you really are, it is no longer appropriate to give your power away either to your boss or to people here.
If you had to jump NOW, one way or the other to save your life, which would you do?
Let me follow up with a little more from the book (much of which started from my replies to questions like yours on this site). This is from a different section that was originally written in answer to a questions about a perceived conflict between religion and being an empath but if you replace "religion" with psychic readers it continues the conversation between you and me:
At the level of our personal relationships, how do we interact with others around us? Is it on a basis of who can control who, with a winner-takes-all outcome? Or is it by mutual empowerment, where the only acceptable outcome is a win-win for all involved parties?
The temptation to give our power away is deeply embedded in our societies; from our parents and our schoolteachers to our religious leaders, spiritual counselors, doctors, and financial advisors, most of us were taught from an early age to yield to authority. Specifically from a religious viewpoint, ask yourself, “Does religion try to control me or empower me?” To be more precise, “Do the practitioners try to control me or empower me? Do they pretend to empower me by teaching me how to conform while speaking of freedom? What feelings do they engender in me?” Regardless of their words, if they speak of love but there is a tightness in your gut, ask yourself if they are instilling fear.
On the level of society, we are approaching full circle by coming back to partnership, from control. On the level of the individual, the rising awareness in empaths can be seen as a development from separation to oneness. Concurrent with that, the individual level is learning to trust what we are experiencing in our own bodies rather than what other people tell us we cannot or should not be experiencing.
Nobody can take our power away from us. Ultimately we either choose to give it away ... or claim it.
A couple of paragraphs from my book, "Thriving as an Empath":
In every profession, there are skilled people and there are those who are unskilled. There are people in the world who, in general, will look after your best interests. There are also plenty who will take advantage of you. The same rule applies specifically to psychics, intuitives, and healers. Ideally, you want to find the skilled intuitive who puts your welfare first.
Primarily, be cautious. If you use any manner of commercial psychic you may get quality information in the initial session, you may not. Trust your intuition. They may start telling you that only they can help you with the things they see for you. They may drop hints that they and they alone are privy to some secret information about you. At this point, get ready to run because the next line will be some variation of “Pay me lots of money and I can help you!” It’s a scam, and they are about to turn you into a victim. The more their seeds of doubt are rattling around in your head, the more you are hooked, and they are about to reel you in.
Bottom line regarding your reader - There are some people in the world you like and some you want nothing to do with. Same applies to readers. Some are worth running away from, fast!
First of all, being an empath is not a straight "yes/no" condition. It is a continuum, shades of grey from one end of the spectrum to the other. Secondly, global consciousness is evolving rapidly right now so the rate at which people's empathic abilities are showing up is increasing. This means that what used to be true as a percentage is now old news.
I've posted elsewhere about Asheville, NC. It is an exceptional town. I am now mixing in circles where the empaths are the majority - literally! Admittedly, I am running my own empath meetup groups and socializing with many dozens of healers. That percentage certainly isn't true of the town as a whole. There is still a mainstream community in town. However, the other aspect worth sharing here is that I am getting better all the time at spotting empaths out in the mainstream world. I'm learning to spot the clues in conversation quicker and I am picking up the intuitive clues just from tuning into their energy.
Point being is that in this town it is becoming safer and safer to embrace being an empath. As that happens, more people will be talking about this and it will be easier to find each other.
A recent quote from Caroline Myss (bestselling author of "Anatomy of the Spirit") "Being an empath is the new normal."
Ok Cat, your response was enough for me to reread what I posted and come clean on what I wrote about the first life. My apologies. In the first life above, I combined what was possibly two lives (not sure why but this is the first time I have written these down ... ever, so please treat the version above as a first draft). Both lives involve Paris and at this time the boundaries between the two lives are a little blurred, for reasons you'll understand with the following revised version.
I had a past life reading in my early twenties. A number of lives came up but the main theme was about one particular one. The reader saw me standing in a Parisian bank. I had been falsely accused of embezzlement and I felt betrayed. I left my job, my wife, my family and walked away. I kept on walking without the will to live until I ended up living in the sewers, ready to die. A poor woman took pity on me and shared a spoonful of soup. The compassion of that gesture was enough to give me the will to live. I recovered and became a leader of the community in the sewers, a “king rat”.
Around turning 40 in my current life, I had listened to a past life regression audio one evening, not with any real insights. However, the next day got a feeling about having been Jewish in that life around the time of Dreyfus in France (late 1800s). A couple of days past that recall, I was telling this story to a close group of friends and, as I got to the part about the woman with the spoonful of soup, I looked across the room at one of my friends and gasped, “OMG. It was you!” (which was all the more remarkable because she was always talking about seeing herself ending up as a bag lady leftover, I think, from her days in the Paris sewers).
Fast forward 15 years and I was working with another friend of mine (who didn’t know this story) and her guides. At the end of the session, one of her guides turned to me and said “Good to see you again, Trevor.” Of course this surprised me and when I asked for details I got the reply “Let me just say, do you remember Paris?”.
Well yes, I remembered Paris! although the story the guide told me was somewhat different from the one above, hence the inclination to think that they were two different lives (and the confusion between them)
This guide had his last incarnation when I was a French aristocrat around the 1400’s. I had gone drinking in town with the commoners for a lark with some friends. I got mugged and beaten up and left for dead. I was revived by a poor woman (my same compassionate friend as above) who looked after me, despite suffering from complete amnesia. I struggled to regain my memory of who I was but as my past life came back to me, I started to see the injustices around me. I became a social activist in that life. My upper class accent was too strong to give me any street cred so I couldn’t work with the general population. I was a backroom organizer and the guide, in human body, was my go-between.
For that matter, both tie into the "Never again" life in terms of reconciling myself with my role as a community leader.
Hi guys, it's taken me a couple of weeks to write these up for you but here goes:
Past life #1
I was a French aristocrat around the 1400’s and went drinking in town with the commoners for a lark with some friends. I got mugged and beaten up and left for dead. I was revived by a poor woman who looked after me. The compassion of a spoonful of soup was enough to give me the will to live despite complete amnesia. I struggled to regain my memory of who I was but as my past life came back to me, I started to see the injustices around me. I became a social activist in that life.
I was telling this story to a close group of friends one day and, as I got to the part about the woman with the spoonful of soup, I looked across the room at one of my friends and gasped, “OMG. It was you!”.
Past Life #2
I was a wizard and leader of my community but I mishandled the power. In the ensuing jealousy that created, I and all my community were massacred. In that feeling of powerlessness to protect both myself and my loved ones I swore “Never again.”
In subsequent lives, up until this life, I played a push-pull game of knowing my powerfulness but avoiding living it. Then, a few year ago, someone took me through a process of disavowing vows. By letting go of that oath, I have rapidly become able to regain the knowledge and self-expression that I had subconsciously been suppressing ... but that's another story
Hi guys: I am going to be starting a free online video conference discussion group for empaths. If you are a newbie, come learn. If you are an experienced empath, come share your knowledge - you might learn something new along the way.
Please join us on Monday Apr 3, 2017 8:00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada).
Ideally, join from PC, Mac, Linux, iOS or Android: https://zoom.us/j/815882330
The first time, you will prompted to install the Zoom software so please allow just a few extra minutes.
Or iPhone one-tap (US Toll): +14086380968,815882330# or +16465588656,815882330#
Dial: +1 408 638 0968 (US Toll) or +1 646 558 8656 (US Toll)
Meeting ID: 815 882 330
International numbers available: https://zoom.us/zoomconference?m=73byTdeGhGmYVujhLpWWSAxXkgtFGkgS
If you miss this one and want to catch future sessions, reply below and I'll send you the details. I intend to hold these twice a month, once in the USA morning (which will work for Europe as well) and once in the evening.
Looking forward to seeing you there!
I perceive others' emotions exactly the same way as I perceive my own. I cannot tell the difference unless a) the emotions have a different "flavor" or "feeling" than one I am used to, or b) I simply remember to ask "is this mine?"
When it's not mine, most of the time the emotion will melt away because I let go of the justification for why I am feeling that way.
Just one paragraph from the relevant chapter in Thriving As An Empath:
First and foremost, CHECK YOURSELF. There is a good chance that if your very young child is suddenly moody or throwing a tantrum, it’s because they are picking up on your emotions, and they don’t know how to express what they are feeling. It is also important to take a moment to shield yourself if you know you are having an especially stressful day, BEFORE you step into your child’s space. Oftentimes when our child is unhappy, we as parents become uneasy, frustrated, or even panicky. If you have a young child that is sick or especially fitful on a particular day, remember it is okay to step away to regain your composure. In the case of an empath child, it’s not only acceptable, but it’s also recommended because your angst will only make their symptoms worse.
I've worked with lots of parents of empath children (I have two of my own). There are days when it is not pleasant to remember that they are reflecting who we are as parents but it is an essential starting point.
There are lots of exercises in the same chapter. Too many to include here. Feel free to private message me.
One direction that many people go in is to establish yourself as a "Minister of Religion" through an online church. There are a number of online organizations calling themselves "Universal Life Church". The theory is that you are more protected practicing your religion than you are as a business. To be fully effective, it requires that you are clear and up front with your "congregants" that you are practicing under those auspices.
(Caveat: Although I am a card-carrying minister, I personally do not explicitly practice under those terms.)
Remember the best protection is to use your intuition. Listen to your guidance and only work with people you are comfortable with. It is never worth the money to work with the wrong people. Be comfortable with turning people away and you will never have to deal with a "problem client".
P.S. Good to see you back here
Absolutely agree with Elise ... and just asking the question "Is this mine?" is a great place to start. Half the time, for me, when it is not mine the emotion melts away immediately.
The biggest challenge can be remembering to ask the question before I get caught up in the emotion (if you have friends who understand, it is great to train them to ask "Is it yours?" the moment you phone phone them up complaining about your latest mood).
There are no techniques that work for everybody, all the time. Be flexible. Find your favorite techniques and be prepared for even your favorites to change effectiveness over time.
I have just posted a blog that I wrote last year: "Working the Chakras For Empaths" (see http://empathcommunity.eliselebeau.com/trevor-lewis/blog/1915/working-the-chakras-for-empaths). It's long so I have posted it separately from this discussion. Enjoy!
Hi Joni: As empaths we not only feel other people's emotions, we are on the planet to help others to heal. That means for most of us we are attracted to "fixer-upper" relationship projects. It is why you'll read so much about "The Empath and the Narcissist"; it's a natural pairing.
We are attracted to them because they need us so much. The end result is either they don't want to become healthy themselves (= we get hurt), or they do get healthy and don't need us (= we get hurt).
Intellectually, I have to believe that there is a way of doing our healing work out in the world in a way that satisfies our basic craving to help others while being able to be in a healthy relationship for ourselves. Personally, I am still a work in progress!
Hi Paul, this all sound perfectly normal to me (by our standards of normal, LOL). Over the years I have come to the conclusion that at least 80% of the work that I do with others is coming through unconsciously (and possibly a much larger percentage). Sometimes I am very aware in the moment that I am merely the conduit. Other times, I spend weeks espousing a new train of thought, thinking that it's just me talking, only to find months later that all the information was really quite prophetic in a way that I had no awareness of at the time.
Relax. Enjoy the ride. Sounds like you are doing great!
I run a monthly Meetup for empaths in Asheville, NC. Last night was the last was our final meeting of 2016 ... 5 men, 4 women! :-)
The easy answer is - ABSOLUTELY!
I usually find that men get outnumbered at least three or four to one (some people would put it as high as ten to one). It gets more complex when you start to factor in how much more willing women are to talk about their emotions. Now that I am "out of the closet" as an empath, I am starting to discover how many men are empaths, they just don't talk about it. Men get taught very early on that it is not OK to be sensitive so it gets hidden.
I wouldn't generalize to the whole of North Carolina (google HB2 if you are not already aware). Asheville is in Buncombe County - a speck of bright blue in NC's sea of deep red (election-speak). Western North Caroline has huge deposits of quartz in the mountains so we live literally on top of crystals that must be part of raising the frequency round here.
's feeling for the town is remarkably common. Many people living here found themselves passing through the town and decided to cancel their plans to leave. It is incredible how many people have fascinating stories about how they ended up living here. For me, I knew as soon as I spent twenty minutes researching how many alternative health practitioners were here that it had to be an exceptional place. There is such a high density of higher conscious people here that is is attracting more of the same. Birds of a feather ...!
Oh boy, would that be different. Woo hoo! Puts a smile on my face just thinking about heaven on earth.
No crime (how could I steal/injure when it only hurts me), no bigotry (you and I are one), no greed (how can I have more than you when I feel your lack) - and that's just for starters!
Yea-hah! (if you can imagine me saying that with my English accent, LOL)
Absolutely. It's why I moved to Asheville, NC. There are thousands here ... and I mean that quite literally. I run one of the two Meetup groups for empaths in town and have over 240 members of that group alone. There are many, many more who are active empaths and don't need a group (such as the hundreds of healers here). There are just as many, maybe more, who are "closet empaths" - they know they have the ability, they just don't talk about it or mix in "woo-woo" circles.
Certainly, being an empath most often goes through the bloodline so I am not surprised that you are related to four of the five you know.
Yes, reckon you are #3 - Sending you a friend request
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