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Thank you for that, all of that.
We actually ended up breaking up I believe the day after I posted that. Everything you said makes perfect sense.
The only thing I'm worried about now is I just ended up getting a new job, and am in a financial mess. I'm currently staying with the now-ex, and will probably end up having to stay here for a year or so while I save up money to get a car, furniture, and an apartment. I really hope that somehow something works out where I can be out of here sooner, I don't know how much of him I can put up with. But, something always works out, even if I don't understand how it will manifest.
It's alright that it sounded harsh, I think I've known for a while that my guides have been...frustrated with me. I just am unsure of how to meditate and come into contact with them. It's hard for me to believe in myself, and I guess to an extent, them, and quiet my mind enough to hear them/see their signs.