Can you help me to understand my failed relationship
I'm a little late to the party here. This whole post thread seems to be very active based on the length. Anyway, I've been an active participant in this community for a few years. And I tend to get a decent energetic picture on people from their emails, texts, and from forum posts like this. And if you don't mind the additional input, I'd like to share a few things that I am picking up from you. My below comments are based on your original post as I have not yet read through the follow up comments from everyone else:
*Setting my energy analysis aside, your words are not those of a narc. You have communicated with thought and respect. Nothing in your post was "me,me,me" or showed any type of manipulation that a narc would post. Narc's can't help but make everything about themselves. Your post shows concern, empathy, and curiosity. And above all, you showed politeness, and class. A typical narc exchange would frankly be the opposite of what you posted.
*I think most likely you are an empath. And I am picking up on that what you feel may be narc feelings is the energy that you are picking up from your female friend. You also feel guilty about how you interacted with her. And that's an empath thing as narcs don't have regrets of how they mistreat people. You are basically doing what I call mirroring where you self-identify with the energy from your friend. The hardest thing for an empath to do, in my opinion, is to separate their own feelings from those feelings that they pick up from others. This gets especially muddied when love is involved because the power of love and attraction makes us blind to what is going on and instead floods us with a very strong high that blocks our common sense and senses.
*Everything you have described or quoted from your girlfriend shouts out "narc,narc,narc" to me. It sounds like she wants you to somehow fear and respect her as a sociopath. But my sense is that she is a narc who is just more open about how messed up she is. She's a troubled person who gets off on guys being intimidated by her. And as you probably know, narcs have a unique knack for finding and capturing/dominating empaths. It's no surprise to me that she found you and charmed you. That's what narcs do. They typically stay in an empath relationship long enough to absorb all of your energy and then they leave you abruptly.
Empaths seem to often fall under the spell of narcs all the time. I don't know if it's the Florence Nightingale effect, but many empaths walk into the narc trap like zombies while everyone else can see that it's a bad match.
I think in summary you are a good person with empathic abilities who frankly can do better then chase a woman who is so clearly your arch-enemy who will inflict great damage. So many of us have made the mistake that you made. But in a lot of cases it's an important introduction to the manipulative powers and heart break that can be caused by narcs. I'm sure you regret the relationship with her. But all in all, you learned a lot about narcs who hunt empaths for energy dominance.