Am i emphatic or crazy ? confused!
See if this helps. You can save a photo to google drive (free service). And then you can create a link to that google drive pic or folder that you can post here that anyone can view. Or you can do the same thing privately by just friending each other at this site and sending over a google drive link.
Do you know what we hear most often from every new person that posts to this site? "My friends and family tell me I'm too sensitive". And do you know what? You are overly sensitive. And that's your gift. You don't just hear words when you speak to someone, you feel the emotional energy coming off of each word. Quite often you can feel energy with no words spoken. You walk into a room and already know the vibe, right?
Have you ever had a friend who was going through a tough time but put on a brave face and tried to hide their problems from everyone? But as soon as they spoke you knew something was wrong when others did not? Or have you had a friend or acquaintance who always acts and says that their life is so perfect and wants everyone to know how great they are. And everyone is jealous and wants to be like them. But as soon as they speak, you sense their hidden insecurities and see through their mask that they are not who they project that they are?
A nice part of our gift as empaths is that we have a built in B.S. meter. Words carry emotional meaning to us. And people can say a lot of things, and act like they are all that. But they can't hide their real self from an empath. That's one of my favorite parts of this. People come to me for help and before they even really explain their problem to me, their emotional energy is already clueing me in to what's troubling them.
I think you will eventually embrace your empathy gift. Sure, some people will tell you that you're too sensitive. And do you know who points that out the most? The people in our lives who are most threatened by us. They sense at a spiritual level who you are. And sensing that you are knowing and can see through their BS makes them very uncomfortable. It's very subconscious and spiritual. These people don't know what's going on yet they are threatened/irritated by you. And their response is to try to intimidate you or ridicule you so that you keep quiet and are looked at as insignificant to the rest of the group. Hold your ground with those people. You have power over them. They are the ones that are threatened.
When you have a person hurting you with their words there is an energy exchange going on there. Obviously, no one likes to be made fun of. So there is some regular human hurt from being picked on. But as an empath there is more to it. You attract low emotional energy because you are wired to transform low energy into high energy. Bullies are usually some of the most insecure people in the room. You as an empath have a high vibration (very good high energy). Someone that is really depressed or sad is going to have very low vibrational energy. And someone who is a bully is going to be pretty low on the vibrational scale as well since deep down inside they have issues. They are attracted to you for this reason (again on a spiritual level that they don't understand). And they want to hurt you or knock you down a few notches through humiliation so that they can continue being the alpha male or alpha female. I bet you are surprised to hear that you are such a threat to them?
I have three quick things that you can do to help yourself feel better around others. First off, be choosy where you go. If you have to be with people that stress you out or a place that stresses you out then limit your time there or skip it altogether. If it feels bad in any environment know that your high vibrational energy is being drained and that you need a break. And secondly, if you are feeling too much you can get overwhelmed and feel very weak and helpless out and about. You need to meditate and ground daily to clear your mind. Start getting good at that and you will literally feel the negative of the day coming off of your body. And my last suggestion is to look into protection stones. This is a topic that we discuss often here. For an empath there are stones and crystals that can actually mute or level off the low energy that seeks you every day. It’s like a forcefield that limits what hits you. I have had good luck with black tourmaline, black onyx, and shungite. If you are new to protection stones it is going to sound absolutely crazy. I laughed like I was a nutcase when I first tried it. But it really works. You will find with some protection stones in your pocket or purse (or even better if touching skin as a bracelet), that you will be more stable out in public. And you'll feel more balanced and less weak when facing difficult people.
At this point just take baby steps. Read through this website and others to better understand who you are and your special skills as an empath. Feel free to continue posting questions here. And we're all here to try to help you get more balanced/grounded so that you can see your empathy as a gift rather than a curse.
I have a grounding meditation where I have my eyes open. I usually try to do this some place outside in nature that is quiet and tranquil without much animal activity to distract me. It can be a little tough at times to meditate with my eyes open since I find it hard to relax my mind and get out of my head with eyes open. But when it goes right, I can really feel the cleansing energy that I draw in from nature with the sun and wind touching me. And the visual part of that is very beautiful and relaxing.
I'd love to hear how it went for you?
For all of you new empaths trying to make sense of it all, a good place to start is an empath quiz. If you score high on the quiz, then you should have validation that you are indeed an empath and that you are not losing your mind. There are quizzes all over the internet. The one below is a good place to start.
It's actually pretty widely known that empaths carry a little extra weight. Some have said that it help protects us from all the energy we deal with each day. I have to admit that I don't really understand how that works. But we have on this site taken a few surveys that gave us the conclusion that most empaths can be a little over weight. And during real tough times can gain a lot of weight. And I guess you can probably see that in about anyone who is going through a tough time. Except that we empaths are so emotionally wired that we go through a lot most days. As an example, I had a neighbor a year ago who was dying of stage 4 cancer. I was completely unaware of this except that I went through a couple weeks of immense sadness when I was at the front of my house. I was later able to connect that to his finals days. And I found both food and drink to be comforting during that time and put on some weight.
, I think that is awesome that you got yourself out of a toxic environment and immediately saw an improvement in your health and weight. That's a great example of how much a bad environment can impact us empaths.
, I did want to say that you are a millennial. And from my observation, your generation is going through a cranky, frustrated "us against the world" type of existence these days. And then you add in all the social media use, and you are caught in a web of strong and dark emotions that you get from others all of the time. You are going to want to try to limit your exposure to people and things that bring you down until you have a better handle on your empathy.
I just finished responding to a few posts on this site and they all have the same needs. I recommend looking through the past postings so you can better understand how empathy works. And you really need to learn about meditating and grounding your absorbed energy so that you can cleanse yourself and feel better each day. When I have a little more time later this week I'll try to start a thread that better explains grounding and various ways to achieve that. And if anyone else wants to get a head start on that, I welcome the assistance.
Am I correct that you are fairly new at this empath stuff? If so, type in grounding or empath grounding on this site and in Google and read up on that. As an empath you are a sponge soaking up all sorts of energy around you without you even trying. That's just who you are and how you are wired. And the bad energy really hangs on and takes longer for you to clear out of you without grounding and other meditation techniques. When your mind and body as an emotional sponge gets full, you are going to experience some tough times. Certain people's tones and words will really hurt and you won't know why. And you will also tend to attract more negative during a time like this when your sponge is full and you are vulnerable. Things will feel more amplified and intense. You have to ring out that sponge by grounding and really refresh yourself so that you can be at your best each day.
I also wanted to help you by analyzing part of what you said:
After going home and calling my friend i realized that she was no long depressed, my friend was happy and i was sad and depressed... what sort of transfer was that?
Part of what makes you attractive to people is the fact that you are an energy changer as an empath. People don't quite understand why but they just feel better around you. They bring their problems to you and after talking to them they leave feeling better and you feel worse. Does this sound familiar? Without knowing your friend vented her anger out on you and after settling down felt better like she got it off her chest. The clouds cleared for her and she ended up in a happy place. And you felt like a big emotional upset mess, right? That's because you took some of her charged angry energy and gave her some solace in exchange. And then you leave the situation with your hurt feelings and her anger wrapped up in you. When we all adapt as empaths you will be able to take people's low energy (be it anger, sadness, anxiety), and transmute it to good energy that makes them feel better. But the low energy has to go somewhere. And it stays in you until you ground it out.
I work with many women in my office and know how all of that goes. I would suggest one of two things. One is to go to just participate and keep the peace so to speak. Or if this is not something you are interested in then I would plan a lunch with a good friend of yours that day and tell thanks but no thanks since you have another lunch commitment. And that way you are out of the office during that time so it gives you a little cover.
I go through some really bad times like what you are experiencing about 3 times a year. And it always sucks. And I always wonder how I let it get that bad. And usually a lot of it is out of my control due to a flood of people who wear me out. I'm usually pretty good at creating boundaries and grounding as needed. But there are times when I am running through life too fast and too much is thrown at me energy-wise and I get overwhelmed and start to implode. And that is also when all my psychic stuff goes haywire in a bad way. And I stop sleeping and it goes from bad to worse. It feels like total burnout.
I believe that you are experiencing some spiritual burnout as a result of overwhelming outside energy that you are picking up. My advice may be redundant for what you are already doing. But in the hopes that it will help you and others, here is how I handle the tough times. First off, getting good nightly sleep is paramount. Your physical and spiritual body is all out of whack due to lack of sleep. I think you likely have adrenal fatigue which is a common side effect of stress and lack of sleep. Try taking some over the counter sleep aids for a few nights to see if you can improve your sleep. Make sure your room is dark, quiet, and slightly cold to help.
Getting back to regular nightly amounts of sleep may be a little tricky at first since I suspect your adrenal fatigue has your cortisol levels spiking. Cortisol is supposed to sink toward the end of the day making you tired and then rise just enough at early morning so that your body wakes up. But stress causes it to spike erratically during the day and night. And that causes a racing mind, panic, and waking up at 3AM without the ability to fall back to sleep. The lack of sleep also means that your normal force field is down and you are more apt to not be able to handle being around people. I highly recommend getting on the below natural adaptogen supplement to help your adrenals to recover:
And if at first you can't sleep through the night then try to fit in an hour nap later in the day whenever you can. Think of it like banking your sleep and just try to make sure you get more hours of sleep each day until you are back at normal levels.
I also recommend salt baths with a cup or two of rock salt. Put on some soft music, candles, and relax and meditate if you can for 20-30 minutes. Even if you can't relax, the salt water by itself will help remove some of the negative that you are carrying. And lastly, try to fit in daily meditation to set your mind right. A lot of people like meditating before starting their day. But I actually like doing it before I go to bed so that I can relax my mind and get good rest.
You can't always control your environment or the people who cross your path and impact you. But you can only control yourself and how you react and cope with your environment. Good luck. We are all here for you.
Agreed. I feel real bad for empaths who are sensitive to food energy. That would be rough to deal with.
Good for you to being so brave to choose empath group#2. I tried that for a while and had a tough time balancing the overwhelming energies that I encounter at work and out and about. But good for you to give it a try. Let us know how it goes.
I think we all find various ways to cope with stress. The challenge for empaths is that we experience so much emotional energy daily that we can get run down and desperate. And that's why there are a lot of empaths that struggle with drugs and alcohol addictions.
There is no way to really verify this, but I have heard that it is estimated that 5% of the population are born as empaths. But my guess is that only about 1/5 of that number are aware empaths as adults. The rest just don't know it yet or don't accept it for religious or cultural reasons. But the rest of that 5% that are unrealized empaths still struggle with the emotional energy that they take in and don't know how to deal with it. And my hunch is that a lot of people who have drug and alcohol addictions are unrealized empaths that fell down the trap of addiction as a way to try to rid themselves of the pain they pick up from the world.
As for doctors, you have to really dig around to find one who understands and treats empaths through meditation and relaxation techniques. Otherwise a typical doctor will respond to your complaints about feeling too much or being depressed with an anti-depressant drug that will just numb you out completely. And then you miss out on experiencing life as you as well as developing your empathy. That's why this is such a great community site where we can all understand who we are and how we can progress.
I think as a fairly new empath you will deal with the question of "is this my energy" quite often. I still do. I'll be going about my day and will suddenly become very angry, sad, depressed etc... My whole life I've been known to be "moody" at the flip of a switch. And now as an empath I actually now understand that my personality is pretty chill, but it's these outside energies that make me moody. Recognizing that has helped me improve in relationships. So you'll get better over time to identify if it's your energy or someone else's energy that is influencing you.
I also think that empaths have particularly strong energies. There have been a few times I recall when I have been "fit to be tied" angry after an unpleasant discussion with a girlfriend. And I could feel the anger seething out of me. And although I tried my best in public at that time to put on a neutral & calm expression to try to be more presentable, people literally jumped out of my way as I walked by. I took it to mean that they felt the invisible steam that was coming off of me from my anger. I've also had times when my happiness and positivity lit up a group of people and changed the dynamic in the room in a good way. So I've seen it work both ways.
This is just my opinion so I'd love to hear feedback from other empaths to see what they think about this statement. But I think every empath has to make a choice as to what group they want to be in moving forward on a short term and long term path. I feel the first group choice would be to understand their empath skills but try to balance and mute it so you can be more functional in society. This can be accomplished through a lot of self work on grounding, environment control (limiting your exposure to tough empath situations), and the use of protection stones. The second group is where you dive deeper into your psychic skills and experience the world with very few protections or guards. In this manner you really absorb everything good and bad that the world sends you and you grow.
In my case, I am more in group 1 at the moment. I still have to earn a living in my current career where I am constantly meeting people and going to group meetings where I deal with a lot of energies. I have found ways to tone down my empath receptors as a way to survive. And I approach expanding my psychic skills as more of a part time job on the side. But I do feel in my gut that some day I will jump into group 2 and really see where this goes.
Sorry I am a bit long winded getting to my point. But as a new empath your receptors are on really high right now. This is especially the case if you pick up energies from food that really impacts you. From my example you can choose at least in the short term to be in empath group 1 where you can turn down the volume on your empathy. And that way you may find eating and being around people more bearable. And when you are ready you can choose group 2 where you dive deep into learning and expanding your abilities by keeping your empath receptors wide open to experience and learn from what the world sends you.
I don't do drugs but from personal experience alcohol seems to significantly tone down my empath receptors and numbs me for a couple hours. It relaxes me and allows my mind to temporarily calm down. But that’s not a big secret since alcohol is a depressant that humans have enjoyed/abused for thousands of years . But I do have to say that I usually regret drinking to try to relieve stress as all the heavy energy that was stressing me out is always there waiting for me once I am sober again. I have since found that exercise combined with grounding techniques is a more effective method of calming down and ridding myself of unwanted energy.
I believe doing drugs may have a similar effect of numbing us. Although a few people on this site mentioned in other posts that smoking marijuana actually enhances their empath abilities.
One of my favorite empath books has a chapter where an empath who goes a deli one day for lunch. And that empath remarks that his sandwich is made by an attractive young lady who seems really happy. And he notes how great his sandwich tastes and what a positive experience that deli was. And then he makes plans to go back to that same deli the next day. And the same young lady makes his sandwich but her mood seems quite different and sad. And when he ate that sandwich he became really nauseous. He later heard that the girl found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her and was devastated that day. And that deep painful energy transferred to the food that she was making (and the day before her happy energy also transferred to the food).
Picking up on food energy is a subset of empath energy sensitivity that seems a bit rare. I think it would be really challenging to live and be so impacted by any low energy coming out of food. I'd love to hear how those of you who deal with this handle it? Do you just really wash and make your own food and mostly stick to veggies?
I have personally not done well with hematite. It makes me dizzy and a bit out of it. But a lot of people swear by it as a good protection stone. And I like to compare protection stones to sun screen. You're getting protection, but it is not going to stop 100% of what is hitting you. I think on a good day my stones probably take away 60-70% of what I get hit with.
And public places like bars can be especially challenging for empaths. But try using 3-4 protection stones at once to see how they work together for you. For example, hematite may work decently for you. But if you add in black tourmaline and jet, you may feel multiple times better. I tested this out with a really emotional guy at my office. He is such an intense, emotional, bombastic person that I used to have trouble talking with for more than 5 minutes at a time. But I finally found a nice 4 stone protection combo that I keep in a pouch in my pocket. And I now can be around him for 1/2 hour or more listening to his stories without his energy making me feel sick or anxious. And these same stones really help when I'm out in public.
But the main thing for you is that I think you now better understand the dynamics of people's energy and how it can impact you. And I think over time you will probably have less interaction or friendships with people that pull down your vibration and don't make you feel well.
On a final note, don't forget to clean and recharge your protection stones regularly. They are your spiritual force field but they need a recharge every few days to perform at their best. The majority of stones rid themselves of negative and recharge by being in the sun for 8 hours or more. If you don't have a lot of time for that then you can put most stones in a glass of water that is mixed with rock salt for a few hours. That salt solution really helps neutralize the low energy that attaches to stones after use. Some people like to leave stones out in the moonlight or bury them in the earth for a day or two to recharge them. I prefer the first two ideas but to each their own.
You've hit on a fun theme. As they say, music soothes the soul. And just about every empath I have ever encountered has a deep connection with music. And on that note, the majority of all humans have a deep connection to music. I myself can draw intense "I am invincible courage and strength from music" from one song. And at other times a different song will bring me to tears. In fact, I was out to dinner a couple weekends ago and there was a young female vocalist singing some of the modern ballads as entertainment. And her voice and energy was so wonderful that I walked away feeling very moved by her. It's always a bit refreshing when that happens since we empaths so often deal with low or negative energy that it is almost medicine to listen to music that soothes the soul.
I personally am not a Gordon Ramsey fan. But I know exactly what you mean when you are watching someone that you identify with as inspirational (in a lecture, or movie etc...).
Here's a couple links that I found that you may find helpful:
I will say that a lot of what you find on the internet about the balancing of the third eye mentions physical ailments that you probably don't have. And this has a lot to do with western Hinduism where they discuss these physical properties but don't always address the spiritual.
In my case, I struggled with my intuition and emotional receptors being too strong. I don't read minds like you do. But I somehow would know very strongly about a person's mood energy and intimate details about what they were going through (again not reading minds, but more reading the energy). The problem was that unless I was one on one with a single person, it was too much to handle. I'd walk into a Costco and get hit with overwhelming emotional signals and messages from dozens of people all at once. It was debilitating and gave me a lot of anxiety. So after some research I started taking steps to turn the dial down a bit on my third eye chakra to bring it back to balance. And it made a big difference. I did a lot of meditating with a blue kyanite stone as it is supposed to be a chakra healer/optimizer. And I think that really helped as well. Based on my experience, I think you can probably try something similar to turn down your powers to a more manageable level.
If you are very sensitive you may pick up on animal energy from food. Or the energy from people that handle your food before it gets in your carts at the store. I've talked to empaths who switched to being vegetarian or vegan. But then they still felt bad and picked up on energy from someone along the supply chain who handled their food that had sad energy. I have to say if this describes you, that would be very tough. I don't know what you do as an empath if meat or veggies impact you. You would almost have to meditate and ground out the bad after each meal.
I did want to mention that most empaths deal with a lot of stomach pain/discomfort in general. And I believe this is due to emotional energy that we take in impacting the solar plexus chakra at top of stomach and sacral chakra at the bottom of stomach. When we don't handle the energy environment well, that pent up emotional energy starts to transfer as pain, swelling, and burning in those areas.
Your third eye chakra may be a little too open. You can get that in better balance and that should help tone down your over active connections to others. I use various crystals while meditating to help open or close various chakras as needed. But there are also some exercises that you can do. Are you familiar with any of this?
I've read that drug and alcohol addictions are fairly common with empaths. Its a way to temporarily disconnect. And before I fully realized that I was an empath I can say that I drank pretty heavily after work on tough days. It turned off the empath receptor and allowed me to relax. But it was always temporary, and all the intense emotional baggage that made me feel bad in the first place was always waiting for me after I would sober up. So I get do understand why drugs and alcohol can be attractive to empaths. But I think it can be harmful for an empath to fall into the trap of drug or alcohol dependency as it does pull our vibration down and keeps us from our purpose.
As for stones, I have become quite the crystal and stone enthusiast over the past couple years. I love the protection stones as they really help me function in public or intense emotional areas where I know that I will struggle as an empath. There are even some stones like rose quartz or amethyst that I will plant throughout my office that will often effectively calm down the environment. One thing you will find with crystals in general is that what works for one person may not have much of an impact on another. But there are a handful of crystals that seem to work consistently well for most empaths. Rose Quartz seems to be a really nice calming stone that will set off a happy & chill vibe in a room (it also seems to do its best work with female energy). And black tourmaline and malachite really do well for anyone carrying or wearing them. The black tourmaline gives you a pretty good negativity shield and limits what negative or low energy will get to you. And malachite is known to draw negative out of you. I really like those two and often throw in Shungite for good measure. Shungite is another stone that protects you from negative. And it helped me rid myself of a spirit attachment issue that I had about a year ago (that's a whole other story). If anyone is interested, this is a good easy to read book explaining what various stones and crystals will offer for protection and healing:
By being a newly realized empath, your energy signals are going to be on high for a while. When I found out a few years ago that I was an empath, my signal strength jumped up quite a bit. And while it was cool getting more validation of my gift, it was also painful (major anxiety in certain places and trouble sleeping, depression etc...). Along the way I found protection stones and they have made a huge difference. That along with other stones have balanced out my chakras and calmed me down so that my empath signal strength has been manageable. It used to be that intense emotional people were near impossible to be around. But with my stones I can now talk and function with them. And this is great at work where you can't control who you have to work with. So long story short, good for you for finding the stones. Keep them on you when out in the world (close to your body in a pocket or skin contact like with a bracelet seem to work best). That will help you immensely while out in the world and with people who you feel a bit heavy, anxious, or sick around.
As for your friend, if you don't feel he is a narc then it may be his drug use. I have done some research on this and drugs and alcohol abuse are said by many to lower a person's energy vibration. While intoxicated it takes one's internal spirit to a lower level where bad things and bad behavior follow. It is said that people who overuse drugs and alcohol lose some of their angelic protections since they are dropping to an energetic level where angels and spirit guides cannot function. And when this happens to a person they lose their way in life while being tempted and directed by things that are not good for them. It's kind of like the old cartoon where the devil is on one shoulder while the angel is on another. Except during heavy drug or alcohol use, the angel goes away and the devil has larger influence because the spirit/soul is closer to that energetic plain (using devil vs angel example as a metaphor). These are of course theories that I have received from other psychics and spiritual teachers. But it really makes sense to me. Especially if you have ever witnessed a person's personality slip away and a darker person emerge from drug or alcohol dependency (or any addiction for that matter). This makes me wonder if you are picking up on your friend's lowered energy and changing personality.
The thing to remember as an empath is that it is all about energy for us. As an empath your energy is unusually high relative to other non-empath humans. A lot of empaths are healers and use some of their higher energy to help people by literally lifting their spirits and in some cases healing physical problems. But as you give and take away someone's low energy/spiritual pain, you lower your own energy in the exchange. That's when you start to feel sick, depressed, weak etc... And a lot of the time this energy transfer happens without your own intent. Just being in the room with someone can create that spiritual energy transfer. That's why being around certain people will bring you down and not make you feel so great. Just remember to practice grounding at least daily so that you can rid yourself of that low energy and bring your high energy self back to balance.
I'm glad my comments were helpful. It's always hard to cut off someone who was once a good friend. And quite honestly, some empaths go through their whole lives being controlled and abused by narcs. While others make their mistakes and learn from it. You can only really advise her and hope that she makes the right choice to end it. But if her friend reconnects and reels her back in, just know that it eventually won't end well. And your wife may end up being about as emotionally exhausted as you've ever seen her. Hopefully that doesn't happen. And if it does, then there are lessons for each of us to learn even in the worst of times.
I did want to part by adding that this won't be the last narc that your wife attracts. Don't be surprised if a complete stranger with traits just like her ex-friend chats her up and draws her in at a coffee shop or somewhere else. Your wife will likely tell you that she met a really nice person and they hit it off like old friends. That's usually how it starts as narcs will early on make an empath feel really special around them. And I don't mean to say all strangers have ill intentions. But with narcs, they find us empaths like moths drawn to a flame. I get approached by narcs all the time. Complete strangers will approach me in public places and they seem almost intoxicated by my energy and quickly go full power with their charm trying to draw me in. It always feels weird when this happens as I feel a bit targeted or stalked. But I've become quite guarded when those types approach and quickly but politely go my way.
As a new empath, welcome to the club. You're likely going to notice that since you have realized and accepted who you are that your empath skills with strengthen.
In our current times, we are dealing with a lot of selfish, narcissistic behavior in society. Our social media addictions only exacerbate this bad behavior. And that is very hard for us empaths to deal with because we are constantly bombarded with that low/negative energy. We are sponges and absorb that low/negative energy. When you advance your skills you will learn how to draw in that negative and return positive energy to a person, room, or situation. But early on it is tough because you take in all that negative and become overloaded since you don't yet know how to make the energy conversion and get it out of your system. So for now, just realize that there will be days when you feel really tired, anxious, and even sad without a really good reason why. In your reading on empathy, look for the topic on grounding. It is very important for every empath to learn how to ground out that low energy we sponge up each day and cleanse it from our body and soul.
From your explanation of your friend, he sounds like he may be a narcissist. But slapping a label on it becomes very confusing when drug use is involved. I say this in not meaning to be judgmental. But oftentimes heavy drug use or alcoholism will bring out the worst in a person and cloud their better traits/real personality. But either way, as an empath, you're going to pick up a strong negative from a person like that. And when you are with him it will make you anxious, depressed, and even sick. The closer you let him in relationship-wise, the worse you may feel.
In my opinion, if your friend makes you feel bad, then you probably should move on from that friendship. I know that is a hard decision to make. And it is one that only you can make. But the one word of advice I would give you as an empath is to start trusting how you feel and listen to your intuition. And if a person or place makes you feel bad, trust that feeling.
I want to make sure I try to answer your final question. If your friend is a narcissist, then he likely feels really good around you. People like that feel energized when controlling and dumping on others. He's attracted to you and likes your higher energy. But there is an energy exchange that goes on with narcissists where they draw from your higher energy and dump their lower energy. You can feel it when this happens as you again will feel dizzy, anxious, depressed, or even a bit sick. There was another recent post on narcs that you may find to be an interesting read:
I'm a little late to the discussion and see that you were given some very good advice from others. I would add that most empaths have had a close relationship with a narcissist at one time or another. It’s almost a rite of passage for an empath. In fact, it is very common for an empath and narcist to be family or even siblings.
Empaths are usually introverts while narcs are most always extroverts. But they are extroverts in the most selfish sense of the term. You can go to any social setting like a bar and watch narcs in action working their magic on people. Narcs are easy to spot and go out of their way to make sure that everyone knows that they are the most important person in the room. In that way they garner a lot of attention and are often very popular as human nature loves star power and narcs are wired to draw people and attention their way. But in their world the narc only feels fulfilled when he/she has control over and manipulates every person and every situation to their advantage. A narc will readily admit that they are here to take all they can get from this world. They are all about doing and saying whatever pleases them with little to no concern about who they may be hurting or taking advantage of.
We’ve all heard about Ying/Yang from Chinese philosophy. I forget which is which, but empaths and narcs have a ying/yang relationship and as opposites they attract. Narcs seek out empaths in a very magical and spiritual way as they are absolutely addicted to empath energy. And they take all they can from the empath and at some point leave the empath weakened and damaged. On the flip side of the ying/yang, the empath often falls under the narcs spell. We’ve had many discussion on this at this forum and I’m not sure we’ve gotten to the bottom on why empaths seem to consistently fall in love or deep friendship with a narc in such a dependent way. But it’s the same story every time. At some point in every empath/narc relationship, the narc has taken all they can from the relationship and moves on. It always ends messy with the empath being kicked to the curb in the relationship. And the empath is left feeling deeply hurt, abandoned, and confused.
The important thing for empaths to thrive is for each empath to understand who they are, and the dynamic and dangers of narcissists who seek us out. They want to control us and drain our energy. It’s always best to avoid the narcs and definitely not let them get close. I’m glad to hear your wife is no longer in touch with her friend. Just be ready for that old friend to potentially try to reconnect and regain control at some point. That’s why cutting cords is a deeper step in ridding someone like that from your life.
I believe he explained it that when he smokes his psychic abilities increase and that is what causes the neighbor to react with anger and bang around. That in itself is interesting. But what is more interesting is that the neighbor seems to know exactly where the psychic power is coming from, and vice-versa with knowing who it is that is sending him anger and pain. I'm hoping that will find a way to better shield himself or neutralize the effect the neighbor has on him until he is able to relocate to a better space.
Burning sage is pretty stinky so you'll probably want to give your roommate a heads up on that. But that's a native american ritual that has been very effective for a lot of people.
I did want to mention that the salt bowls seem to draw some negative energy out of me (especially when I place one on my nightstand). And in my home we have 3 empaths here and are constantly visited by spirits at night that disturb our sleep. And I found that the salt water bowls in each of our bedrooms definitely seems to mellow out spirit activity allowing us to sleep better. I have never tried it as a way to block or subdue a psychic attack. But since salt is good at neutralizing low energy, I would think it would work in your situation.
We have also had many others on this site have to deal with angry energy and psychic attacks in their work office environment. And many of them said by placing rose quartz or amethyst stones near their personal work space that it really improved conditions. Those stones tend to have a calming effect. I don't know if that would work for you but placing those stones near you when you are smoking and at risk of the neighbor attack could possibly blunt it. But I'm also torn toward just recommending protection stones. I love black tourmaline for that as it is powerful. But malachite is also a real good one that is known for absorbing negative. I think that could mute the attack. Anyway, I would try the salt and some stones and see if you have any improvement.
Best of luck. Let us know how it goes.
You are not alone. A common theme with empaths are stories of being used and abused by people. I think our energy is attractive and can draw people to us. But when we get pulled down by the world our energy sinks and we become less energetically desirable to people. And then there is the whole narc side of things. Narcs will seek you out to control you and drain your energy. They will use you up and energetically leave you for dead. I'm not sure if that describes your former friend. But if she is a narc then you have to recognize that and avoid letting those types close to you in the future.
You mentioned that you were taking a salt bath. That is smart of you. I also find that by placing bowls of salt water in my bedroom and main room it also helps neutralize low energy/bad vibes in a room. For me a fresh bowl or two in a room creates a nice positive energy (you just have to remember to change it out every couple days). I also like to use certain protection crystals if I am out in public or meeting with someone who is difficult. I wonder if that could help you maybe lower his impact on you? Carry stones like black onyx or black tourmaline with you at all times or at least when you think he is likely to try something (like when you smoke).
And you bring up something that we don't often talk about. And that is the subject of people who have psychic gifts but use them with bad intent.
I draw the line at narcissistic behavior and anyone that appears to be an energy vampire (where you feel drained and exhausted during and after visiting with them). Neither of those types are good for you. But I've met plenty of people who at first appeared toxic or negative that I was able to turn around and get them to release that and become a better happier person.
I have an alternate theory. Are you sure it's your upstairs neighbor that you are getting this from? I mean do you have any physical confirmation that he is annoyed like dirty looks or banging on his floor or anything like that? If you do, then I wonder if he is smelling your weed when you smoke and is annoyed based on his own belief system and is reacting?
I did want to point out that I have read postings from various empaths and psychics that claim smoking weed while being an empath is not a good combo. Yes, it feels relaxing and due to that you may feel a heightened awareness and increase in abilities. But apparently when you are high your soul goes on a journey and you are more available and less protected against lower energy entities. My thought is what if this has nothing to do with your neighbor and you are attracting things that are not good for you? I don't mean to scare you, but it is always good to be informed. You can google this subject. Here's one article I found:
This is very interesting that bar codes are setting you off. How do you really avoid that? They are everywhere. Aside from somehow avoiding bar codes each day, how's your grounding and sleep lately? The reason I ask is when I get run down I start having bizarre things happen and am more bothered by unusual things. I'm just wondering if you "spiritually chill" a little bit if you will find that bar codes have less of an effect on you?
Congrats on conquering cancer and losing weight. I hope you have properly patted yourself on the back for both and found inner strength from those experiences.
I wanted to make two points that I hope can help you in some way. The first is, that we humans all have many flaws. And in our current society with social media and 24/7 ugly news cycle with a general focus on selfishness and materialism, it has really brought an ugliness to the surface in just about everyone. And while I agree, that it is good to cleanse your life of those who are definitely not good for you, I would also say to consider accepting some people with their faults. We empaths are equally blessed and cursed with the ability to see behind the mask and pick up on what a person is really about. And that often scares us off. But consider that when you give some people a chance at your friendship, your inner light as an empath may just bring out the best in them and result in an important relationship. Otherwise, if you are looking for friends with purity and no flaws, you may spend a long and lonely time looking. Humans are flawed. And tough times bring out the worst in all of us. And that is what we are seeing from humanity right now. But as empaths we can calm those people down and take away some of the negative spell that they are under. You of course have to properly ground and cleanse yourself when dealing with people with baggage or toxic issues to keep yourself sane and safe. But it should be very rewarding for you when you break through and help people come out of the darkness of modern day toxicity.
My second point is to touch on manifesting. We empaths deal with and absorb a lot of negative from people even on a good day. And without consistent grounding and self-care, that can pull us down and lower our vibration. And that's when our thoughts and attitude turn negative. And without trying you may experience, as many of us have, a bit of a black cloud following you. You get hit with bad news, bad luck, and have unhealthy people and situations enter your life. The trick is to work really hard on grounding and meditation and to raise your vibration so that you are happy and working on positive plans in your life. And that is when you will start to manifest good things. And a bright pathway of opportunities and positive people will start lining up for you.
Something is not right in the world right now (more than usual). My 16 year old son thought he had a psychic attack yesterday with sudden solar plexus pain and feelings of anxiety out of nowhere (at his happy place the gym). He is an empath as well but has not had that whammy of feelings and pain before. And then I feel like someone cast a spell on me this past week as I am weakened, emotional, and feeling like I need to go lie down. I don't have any sickness symptoms but yet don't feel right. I awake each day feeling totally unrested and can't seem to sleep well (more than usual). I think I may have found the answer when I read this other recent blog post. Aside from what may be going on in our individual lives and local people sphere, there seems to be something bigger brewing:
Your comment caught my eye:
Regardless of the source, I have literally not been able to keep my energy up despite smudging, salting, meditation and chord cutting. It is as if it has “moved in” to my energy field. I am seeing a little bit of lightness coming back but it has been a struggle...Is it possible that these entities are attacking light workers that have a weakened energy field to decrease the numbers?
I think you may be on to something. I feel so worn out this past week. I occasionally get fatigued like this during a stressful time in my life or if I am around large groups of people. But that only happens for a day or two at most. But this has been a very drawn out fatigue that started last week. I feel drained but also feel like something is drawing on my energy. I was starting to wonder if I had some sort of spirit attachment that was draining me. But maybe it is a targeted hit on light workers?
Interesting. I also have that happen sometimes where I am watching a silent movie in my mind while meditating or close to drifting off to sleep. No sound and often it appears in black and white and looks like an old time movie. And it's usually just a casual scene of people at a social gathering. I can never find any meaning.
Thanks for your insight. And like said, I can feel it too. I really felt a big shift last week. It felt really heavy and dreadful is probably the best word that I could put on it. I normally only really pick up on people in a room with me. But starting last week I really felt something very heavy and dark that literally felt like the weight of the world. It has been really depressing and draining me since Thursday so I have stepped up on my personal grounding and sleep to try to stay ahead of it. I did not understand what it was until Angel clarified today what she was warning about. Thanks for the explanation. Sorry to hear about your personal attacks. I agree that we need to all do our part of try to fight back and lift the vibration.
Crystals help for me as well. Using them on my crown or third eye makes it more likely that I will see something. Do you ever see images of anyone you know that has passed? In my case I do not. And I never see the same face twice. The above article suggested spirit attachment was the cause of seeing faces. But perhaps you are right that we are just accessing that world.
I brought up this topic about a year ago and have also seen others here who said they experienced the same. Sometimes when I meditate or are relaxed and falling asleep, I will see faces that are presented to me. They appear to me like flashcards where I see each one for a quick second before it switches to another. The faces are mostly emotionless and ones that I have never seen before. I usually see 15-20 faces before my mind moves on. I have always wondered why I see faces and what the meaning is. And then I came across the below article that talks about spirit attachment and spirits crossing our plane. I thought I would share this and see what all of you think?
What has brought on your urgent message? I started feeling some sort of shift in the world last Wednesday that brought on a wave of depression for a few days that by Sunday night/Monday morning was some pretty strong anxiety for me to deal with. Sometimes when this happens to me it is before a major tragedy. But aside from that Texas church shooting, I cannot yet connect my feelings to an event. I was curious what you are feeling?
That story is one of Stephen King's best IMO. And the movie was directed by the late great Stanley Kubrick. I hope you enjoy it. Staying at that hotel in Colorado is on my bucket list.
I was just thinking the other day that one of my favorite movies of all time, The Shining, has an empathic/psychic main character. In the movie, Danny is referred to as having “the shine”. I really like that term “having the shine” to explain empaths as I believe empaths put off a more vibrant energy and light.
You definitely have the gift of knowing. I get a little of that myself but not with the type of clarity or frequency that you have. I didn't really understand if you are okay with your gift or whether it is a problem for you? If you are enjoying your gift then keep working on strengthening it. Your third eye chakra is the one that controls knowing and foresight. There are exercises that you can do to strengthen and open wide this chakra. And there are also exercises where you can close this chakra a little if what you are dealing with is too intense.
In the spirit of Halloween, I thought I'd try to get this thread going again. Does anyone have any favorites to add?
Great article. My mother-in-law, who I like, is one of those types of people. When conversing she takes the energy right out of me and I start feeling weak and fatigued. She has had a lot of pain and misery in her life and I think she subconsciously pulls from me for healing.
There is also something called lucid dreaming where you are asleep but yet have more conscious control of what you do and where you go in dreamland. This is often activated during naps or when you wake up during REM sleep and then go back to bed. Some people lucid dream and go visit friends and relatives in their dreams. And I've ever heard of friends lucid dreaming together and meeting up to share an adventure. But as opposed to regular sleep, in lucid dreaming you mostly control where you go, who you see, and talk to, whereas regular dreaming you are not really in control. Astral travel by comparison is where you through deep meditation will visit other worlds. It's almost like landing on another planet. It's an experience that you don't really control you just experience it. A lot of people talk about noting a silver cord or tether attached to them when they astral travel (the link between our world and the outside world). So based on your description, I don't think you are experiencing astral travel.
Remember as you get deeper in understanding spirituality you will learn that nothing is a coincidence. People are placed in our path for a reason. As are challenges. And since we are here in this life to learn many lessons, we are always being directed by our spirit guides to learn and advance to our given challenges. Your day dreaming could be lessons. Although I suspect that you are starting to see visions of real events that have either happened or will happen. Since you have recently started relaxing and working on your gift, you are noticing that it is strengthening. That's confirmation for you that this is the real deal. Keep working on those abilities.
I did want to say that for me, my visions only work when I am relaxed and not trying or thinking of using them. It's almost as if someone drops an idea or a little movie inside my head and it autoplays. It sounds like that it may be the same for you. You may want to practice meditation to truly relax your mind and see where it goes. It may result in more visions or you may actually experience astral travel first hand. Just make sure you do some reading in this website's library about astral travel as you will only want to do that with proper protections.
I do have some experience with what you are talking about and can share some info.
I would not say you are astral projecting. You don't usually do that in your sleep. You astral project by being in an awake but deep meditative state. It's more of a planned quiet time journey.
But, I do get visions while awake that are worth noting. They are similar to day dreaming except that day dreaming usually starts from your mind's own idea. Whereas a vision is usually a thought dropped in to your mind that was not something your asked for or were focusing on. And right before visions my mind gets completely calm and clear of personal thought and then while my eyes are open I will stop seeing the present world and will instead watch a short movie in my mind like you referenced. Quite a few of my visions have foretold future events. While others I have been unable to connect to anything and just remember them to be lessons that I do not yet know how to interpret or use.
Dreams are a whole other ball game. Some dreams are completely your mind's own doing. And then spirits can also impact your dream if you are susceptible to that as an empath. And then last but not least, your spirit guides can send your messages and lessons through your dreams. I do know that a lot of mediums are given an abundance of info. through their dreams.
I would say that there is a pretty good chance your gifts are directing that missing girl to you. And if she is unfortunately now deceased then either her spirit is reaching to you for help or for some reason your guides are wanting you to get involved. A lot of mediums help their communities by getting involved with the police and families of missing persons due to their ability to channel in to the event that caused a death or disappearance. It's very possible that this is your skill set.
If any of this scares you you can try to block it and deny your gift. I have a friend of mine who is a very talented psychic who does not want any part of it and has blocked most of her abilities. But if you want to develop your gift I would suggest believing and being receptive to it. And definitely keep a vision and dream journal and try to connect the dots on the info. that you are receiving.
My area was once a native american summer hunting ground hundreds of years ago. There were tribes that would travel here in the summer and live and hunt for months. So I would imagine there were some deaths and burials nearby. But my family and I never see native spirits. In fact, the vast majority of spirits that pass through our home are wearing modern clothing from the past 1-2 decades. We rarely see the same spirit twice and I am starting to wonder if we have some sort of portal nearby that is bringing these spirits in. But that's a whole other story.
Sorry for your loss. If you feel connected to the planet and feel the pain of collective humanity, that is a very heavy weight to carry. I have felt the same from time to time but mostly pick up on nearby energy these days. I would imagine being that tuned in to a vast group has caused some of your issues. All I would say is that you probably need to be an expert at daily grounding to try to get that out of you so that it does not cause physical damage.
Solar plexus pain? Bingo, and welcome to the club. I feel the same and get upper and lower stomach pain daily. It presents as bloating. I have to eat really clean but bland food. And grounding has really helped me clear out some of that upset stomach.