Happy New Year!
Happy New Year to all!
My plans also cat-whisperer, living my life my way and seeing people for who they really are.
Thanks hop-daddy, I do like, I have lunch plans with someone. Leaving the building would be good too. They would like answer soon, need to know if I am bringing covered dish. I went to the ice cream social, in the summer, to be "social" and no one would talk to me. I tried to start some conversations and I got yes or no and that was it. So nice to be invited and then ignored.
I would appreciate advise about declining an invitation. On my floor the office secretaries are having a Christmas lunch and I have been invited. i share and office with one of them so that is why I am invited, I am not in this clique. Do I just say no thank you? or should I comment about not being apart of this group so that is why I do not want to go.
I would try using some crystals. It may take a few tries to find the one that is right for you, and different crystals depending on where you are. I shop at a specific grocery store only because they have a very good produce section. Almost every time I was shopping I would get a strong angry feeling. I tried a few different crystals and for me purple quartz helps, I can go in and out without that picking up that anger. At my office I use different crystals.
The dark road, I have been down too many times. I have wanted to give up many times, especially after day when my energy is completely drained. The giving of my compassion is thanked with the feelings of negativity, of being worthless and used. I recently decided it was time to stop going down this road. My crime is caring, yes, guilty. The punishment will be, none. I will not accept all the negative feelings directed at me. I will clear myself of the negative energy and I am done with that person. No more second, third, 100th opportunity for them to dump on me.
My dog pays no bills, does not cleanup around the house, or make me dinner. She wags her tail and I know she appreciates me. And that is enough. I am not asking for anything from a person but a little appreciation. If I can not feel that, I have to stay away from them.
Looking back at everyones replies I have to say thank you all for sharing. I have spent the past 2 months since my post working on being more aware of my feelings vs what I am picking up from others. I am also rethinking how I deal with people, especially the narcs. Interesting what said, I have said to myself “ they are back to treating me like I'm invisible”. I am not invisible to them. They see me, how they treat me depends on if they want my help or someone to be rude to. I cannot understand what it is like to be blind anymore than I can understand what it is like to be a narc. But I can educate myself on being around them. No more excuses and justification for unacceptable behavior. I have done that forever, always blame myself or justify it some how.
I have include a link, I read it often to lift my spirits .
Thank you all for your thoughts about this, I really appreciate it!! It is giving me strength to redirect myself and focus on something more positive.
Sending you some good thougths C Cat, so sorry to hear you are ill. I totally believe negative people like them cause us health problems.
I am feeling an increasing number of selfish people around me and it amazes me. I have worn rose colored glasses, well ..forever. Always I gave people another chance and another chance, made excuses for their behavior, no matter what negativity they gave me or how selfish they acted. I have taken off my rose colored glasses and WOW!! Just earlier today someone called me to tell me that her lawn mower is fixed and she does not have to purchase a new one, that’s it, bye. Did not ask how was my day, any weekend plans. She is just one of many people I know that show no regard for me as a person. Is this because I am an empath? Also what confuses me is that these same people will listen to others but not me. They know lots of gossip but nothing new about me. I feel when I do try to talk and speak up that they just want me to stop talking. They just love when I listen and support them.
I believe that people have a wonderful gift of being able to believe in what they want.
With that comes the burden of having to respect others beliefs, no judging or expecting others to accept what we believe.
I do not understand why someone tries to get someone else to believe what they do.
Including a link to what I found to be a very interesting article about" Socio-Empath-Apath Triad". Just another day a work and I am always amazed at the behavior of other people that I can not understand. This seems to make sense to me, would like to hear what others think.
For myself, the connection with the narcissist in my life is because I wanted to believe that they were the charming kind person they pretended to be. Even when I saw them for who they really are I wanted to be wrong. Over and over I tried to twist the facts around in my mind and make them kind, that some how I misunderstood what they did.
Very good article, I can relate to a few things in it. Again I have a person come into my life that I feel treats me like I owe them (kindness, help, support, encouragement). Nothing wrong with helping a person but I feel like they expect it from me unconditionally. It makes me angry that I let myself loose my self worth to help people. This person at work can not even say good morning to me, yet bugs me all day with questions, we do not even do the same work. When she gets told about doing something wrong, she looks to me to support her. I cannot do it. I just cannot let her treat me like I am nothing until she needs me.
1- My cell phone which was almost fullly charged went dead and shut off. I would say it was off for about an hour maybe 2 at the most. When I turned it back on I had one missed call and a message. The person who called I am so very happy I did not have to talk to them. They only call me about once a year.
2- Sparrow symbolism. I had an encounter if you would call it with the same sparrow 3 times, over 4 days. I am no bird expert but it was the same sparrow or 3 different ones with the same injured leg. It came just when I was dealing with issues of self worth and needing a sign.
Fear, yes I think that is it. If I do not contact this person(s) am I giving up on enjoying contact with them or if I do am I setting my self up for abuse? I fear letting someone back in my life that will not be good for me. This should not be that hard and take so much thought. My gut is telling me stay away.
I have been having waves of different feelings that started 2 days ago. Yesterday evening I had a very strong feeling that I need to distance myself from some people that had contacted me over the holidays. I had been debating with myself what to do because I cannot tell if they care about me or just want to find out what I have been doing.
Wow Rene I love both your posts, not sure which I like better! I can totally relate to both.
Hello and welcome! I am relatively new to this site and have found it wonderful and super helpful. I think the best thing that has helped me is to see that I am not alone, that others feel things like I do. Using crystals has been a big help for me to deal with negative and depressing emotions of people around me.
Add me to the list of people who do not enjoy this time of year. Every year I think this is the year it is going to be good. All the thought I've given to the gifts I give will be appreciated. All the time I take to cook and decorate will be appreciated. Just being around the relatives will be nice, talking and visiting. Every year when its over, I think well maybe next year.
So what am I going to do this year? This year I am taking a new approach. This year its about me! I am not going to the parties because I am expected to. I am not going to the rude relatives because I am expected to. I am giving gifts that are within my budget. Gift cards actually, no shopping for items they do not appreciate. My time I will spent with "my family", my husband and children, everyone else can do what they want without me. Staying away from all the negative emotions and fakeness and rude behavior!
Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday !
Crystal power story I would like to share. My cats health has been declining very fast. I had a feeling he was not going to improve. I thought if he passed and I would have to bury him that I would like to place a crystal with him for peace. That was as far as I got, I could not bring myself to think too much about it. The day before his vet recheck appointment I put a rubellite crystal in one pocket and an amethyst in the other, to help me not worry about him. In the morning before we left I remembered my crystals and wanted to take them with me. The amethyst was there in my pocket but the other pocket was empty. I went to the vet and I had to put my cat to sleep. I came home and decided to look for my crystal and that would keep me busy. I could not find it. I look in my bed where I changed clothes several times, one the floor, all over. I gave up and decided maybe he is using it to be at peace. This evening I decided to take a short nap before starting dinner. I pulled back the sheets and there was my crystal rubellite on the bed, one the side my cat always liked!! I hope, and feel that he used it to pass in peace.
I have set mine up, hope the picture attaches. I went with selenite in the center, surrounded by quartz, surrounded by agates and a few other crystals
I have my crystals hematite, quartz, rose quartz, agates, tigers eye, amethyst and selenite. I have a shallow dish I thought I would line with sand and then arrange my crystals. Would that work?
Sounds like a wonderful idea, I'm in.
Wow what timing, I was working on posting a similar question earlier today and I was having trouble figuring out. I just decided to try it again when I saw your post. I was going to ask what people think are the pros of being an empath. I agree that a lot of information deals with the problems of being an empath.
My positive energy lift is enjoying nature. I was on vacation recently and majority of my time was being outside. I realized most of my vacations involve enjoying nature. I feel an inner calm and peace.
I agree that beauty is not a curse. Beauty and ugly are both opinions. We all have a right to have an opinion but I think people should keep their negative opinions to themselves. People need to respect others. My beautiful ( on the outside) sister would tell me constantly when we were young how ugly I was. In my opinion, she is ugly, inside and out, for telling me that. She has "issues" yes but that does not give her the right to say negative things.
Sorry to hear you have this negative person at your job. I had to share my office with a lady that has a huge cloud of negative energy around her. It was terrible, so drained me. I put on my desk small containers of sea salt and black salt, and one with some crystals ( quartz and amber and rose quartz). Acting busy was good for avoiding conversation. What also helped was telling myself, you are there, and I am here, with a wall between. Current status, she transferred to another office.
Hello adda, I was going to reply to you yesterday but your situation got me to remembering things that happened to me and it started to make me upset. I feel better today and I really wanted to send you some positive energy. In short, years ago, I was excluded from my sisters wedding party. I was told by my sister and mother " you do not take a good picture". But I went and sat among the other guests. Just recently a women came in my office to get her mail. She made a point of coming around to face me and make a strange comment about my hair. I did not pay much attention to it. Thank goodness. I just figured out when I was coloring my hair that she was making fun of my roots. So why do they do this...because it makes them feel good. Something I can not understand but it makes them feel good.
This is a wonderful place to get some great advice, hang in there!
I feel the same way about feeling less lonely by myself then when I am a group of the wrong people. It is something I would like to say but most people would not understand it. I have read your post several times and I can relate to so much of what you say, it is comforting to know someone else feels this way and yet sad.
I was just thinking about posting something similar to this. I have the vampires and users that have just worn me down! I needed to get them them out of my life. That has not been easy, I had to do it in a way that I felt ok with and did not give them a reason to make me feel guilty. In doing that I have more time alone and that has been a wonderful thing. My solitude has given me time to be me, not the listener, not the helper or what ever they want me to be. It has been wonderful to be away from negative energy. I am doing what I like to do and I am not letting anyone make me feel like I am stupid or boring or should be doing for them.
I put myself in places also and never really fit in, I think that was because I was trying to "fit in", it was not me. I believe I will "fit in" when I can be me. I have been looking in the wrong places for "friends".
I have experimented also with my gemstones, I found that it depends on where I am and what I am doing, sometimes I will carry one or two in my pocket. At my work there are a lot of negative people. I keep on my desk quartz, rose quartz and amber. When I travel I take a small pouch with Hematite, amethyst and aquamarine. I wear a small black tourmaline if I think the day is going to be a bad one!
Hello and welcome The shadow and the light,
I am a new member also, joined about a month ago and find this a wonderful place to share, learn and make friends. Being an empath is new to me, so much makes sense to me now. My problem I am learning to deal with is being around negative people that drain me.
Live & Appreciate
Hello boubou, I just saw your post and I can so relate to feeling guilty. My morning coffee and a dose of guilt. That is what gets me almost every day, I don't want to give up on someone. I wish I could say I have the answer. Currently, when the guilt starts I am asking myself what am I guilty of? If I am staying away from a person who I feel is negative and using me, then yes I am guilty of that. I will own that guilt and its ok. I have a right to decide who I feel I need to stay away from. I am not sure if I am wording this correctly but what I am trying to say is that my feelings are valid. If I feel I need to stay away from someone then there is a reason I feel that way and that reason comes from them. So guilty yes, for standing up for myself. Guilty for feeling I need to stay away from a person, no.
Jessvet, Yes it would hurt me. I agree with both Rene and karma. I would like to talk about being an empath but I feel people, at least the people I know, would not be open minded to listen and understand. That is what is so wonderful about being in this group, a place to talk and share.
Hi Tony, Very interesting questions and a lot of very interesting replies. I have a narcissist mother and just an A-Hole father. I found out only a few years ago my father had an uncle that no one spoke about. The only answer I got was that "he did not fit in with them". I wonder if he was an empath? No one in my family that I can think of that I would call an empath.
Live & Appreciate
Sorry to hear about your sadness, often I feel sad too. I am not in the click at work so I feel a little lonely when they are talking and ignore me. I am working at just accepting it, I cannot change it, not easy some days, but I am trying. I believe that everyone has something to offer to another person, if just kindness. It helps me if I think, it is their loss to exclude me and I am in control, it is me who is excluding myself from them.
live & appreciate
What you are saying sounds so familiar to me. I was the friend who I believe put more into the relationship then they did. When I was not able to give 100% to the relationship they moved away. I found that to be the case with some relatives also. My thought too was I was not good enough, but now I think it is they who are not good enough. They are to selfish to be in a give and take relationship. I ask myself can I be alone and not lonely? I need to be good to myself, be my best friend.
Live & appreciate