How do we live with this
Hey Chris, you're not alone. I've also dealt with sucidial attempts/thoughts/tendencies myself. Maybe, you've helped so many people before you helped yourself? Resulting in feeling - like you said, lonely and incomplete. You've gave so many pieces of yourself away that you're no longer 'whole'.. make yourself and your well-being a first priority, Take a deep breath and some time to yourself. Happiness comes from within, search for inner-peace rather than a lover. Love yourself! As cliche as that is, it's very true. After taking some time to yourself, search up: self-love, self-happiness, inner peace. Apply it to your daily life, it won't be easy. But, it will be worth it.
Message me if you feel like it, always willing to help.
Sending prayers, love and light your way