Forum Activity for @lilly

lilly
@lilly
01/22/17 05:27:11PM
30 posts

spiritual dimension and mental/emotinal health


Empath

Thanks for the replies

tigerlilly im glad you had your spirit removed but i wondered in what way was it changing or effecting your emotions?? Im not sure about the spirit that was attached to you. But i sense mine is a unhealthy creature and does not mean good things for me. I have always sensed spirits but its since i realised i was empathic that things have increased. I always knew i was something but i didnt have words for it. But before i used to not listen to my intuition but now i learned to pay very close attention to everything.

I know its not a person but thanks nocturnes angel for the idea. The thing is i live a very solitary life cos i need to for health reasons and im not really around people at all. 

i would love to have a healer to remove it i have seen many healers over my life and recieved alot of spiritual gifts from them. But no one that ive seen recently has found a way to release this one. The last person i saw was a medium but she said she couldnt detect anything. I need to maybe search for another healer.

Lotusfly i think you dont always need to be in the same geographical area as your chosen healer alot of healers can work distantly or remotely as some call it. But basicaly all they will ask for is your name and address and they can send healing to you. I would say use you intuition and seek out more than one. You might have to try many before you meet someone you want to work with longterm. Try loooking on the internet for websites and you can get numbers there. reiki is a very common form of healing that alot do. You can just put a search in your local online directory and it could come up with a reiki healer. But of course always be cautious and careful at meeting dont just trust someone cos they say they are a healer use your gut to tell you what feels right.

lilly
@lilly
01/16/17 05:20:11PM
30 posts

spiritual dimension and mental/emotinal health


Empath

Hi this is going to be hard to explain in a short way but i will try. I have had periodicaly times when i would call myself psychotic when basicaly all my emotions are so intense and my thinking is so changable and all my emotions keep swinging wildly around and it can just come from nowhere that im like this. I just had an episode like this and i swear it was spiritual in origin. I think its caused perhaps by spirits messing with me. I often had alot of spiritual attacks in my life and have something around me at the moment. Now i dont want advice on shielding or anything.

I just wanted to see if anyone else has any similar experiences of unstable emotions and thinking when they believe it may be spiritual in origin. I know that what would be classed as demonic possesion would be a wildly fluctiating sense of personhood if the individual had any self awarness they would feel overwhelmingly like there were many inside them and being ripped apart emotionaly. This is what i could describe it as for me. Im not saying i think im possesed but that its something manipulating my being when im like in these psychotic states. Ive found medication is essential for me to control my emotions. It is very disturbing for me and i hate these experiences alot for me they often come from no where and normaly i am a very calm person who centres thier life around quiet and peace as much as i can. So its totaly out of character to me to be like this. Does anyone relate or have any comments??


updated by @lilly: 05/24/17 05:05:52PM
lilly
@lilly
05/22/16 04:41:27PM
30 posts



Hi i could have written all of what you've said i too had the rose coloured glasses and they arent true i was an idealist. But really it gets you nowhere. People dont care about anyone else much but their family and often they treat their own children so badly even. You are right about children too i used to think they are innocent and pure. But if you are around them you work out they arent they are all mini versions of the rest of society. Even very young children toddlers have all the stuff they need to grow up to be narcs.

I would say i have done the same go into nature and love the beauty you find there.

I have done the same too and cut down my social contact to a minimum number of people and im really picky who i let in my life.I spend alot of time alone with my cats for company cos that makes me happy.

lilly
@lilly
04/16/16 01:42:47AM
30 posts

What do you think triggered your empathic abilities?


Empath

Hiya i just wanted to say i liked your theory if people are loved or squashed does it change the way the gift comes out. For me it was squashed and dismissed. I was told im too sensitive and should become a normal child and stop being me cos i wasnt acceptable. This message came from my mum and everyone else as well really but coming from her she actualy said those words all the way through my childhood. And any time i would say that i felt a ESP feeling she would say 'thats in your head its not real' ' Dont think that'

Which made me believe on one hand everything i experienced was imaginary so that i must be wrong in some way.And also made me super confused and hyper aware cos i was desperatley trying to understand the world around me. But all i could rely on where my perceptions. I believed this is when everything got super sensitive and i just stopped coping with life. I just went in on myself and shut myself away in the quiet where it wasnt too much for me. Cos the world had become a place of overstimulation, confusion and pain coming from other people. So i tried to shut them out.I had my own pain too but couldnt do anything with that but drown in it.

I still struggle now to be part of the world. IT may not suprise you that i went on to develop a severe physical illness of the nervous system.

My hyper sensitivity was definatley linked to my mothers rejection of how i experienced the world. I had to shut out the world out on some level out of sheer confusion and overwhelm and then i believe this in turn lead my brain to come to rely on my hyper perception of emotions from even far away so i knew who to avoid in the playground to keep myself out of trouble and that this change made me even more highly alert for danger and this lead to me scanning my enviroment which i still do to keep me safe

I dont know if i can ever really forgive my mother for the consistent damage she caused me that has lead to me developing the illness i now have to live with for the rest of my life and all the misery and torment that my life has been cos of the hyper overactive body,heart and mind. I think if i had been loved and allowed to be who i was it may have been hard but not agony

But im trying to work on forgivness at least. I wish there was really a real dial you could turn the world down

Its interesting that im doing some research into my illness and that its mainly HSP's that develop it. Perhaps some of them are empaths too!

lilly
@lilly
04/16/16 12:58:47AM
30 posts

Is It Just Me Who Attracts Narcissists/ Sociopaths?


Empath

i think we are attracted to the fact that they can read us like a book and put on our favorite show for us and tap into us and give us what we think we want. BUt its all just a lie

lilly
@lilly
04/16/16 12:56:03AM
30 posts

Is It Just Me Who Attracts Narcissists/ Sociopaths?


Empath

Hiy yeah ive found this totaly. Its like i am a magnet for them and i fall for it everytime. I tend to only find people who want to take off me all the way. I find it hard to make other connections other than takers. Ive found online friendships better they cant take as much

I am slowly realising who is and who is not my real friend. I want to stop falling for their sob stories and coming to the rescue and thinking i can save them. I often find that there is no real sob story they are making alot of it up for sympathy. I have one real bad on in my life and she is definatley making it so hard for me to leave. Saying stuff like ' i wish everyone in the world was nice like you i know you wont hurt me and let me down' I

dont know if she actualy means this or its a ploy as to keep me with her. But she is sucking me dry. She never stops taking. I can almost feel her sucking the light out of me. She feeds on her own negative energy. Ive got to get away from her. She is always inviting herself to talk to me everyday and i cant stand it. She wants to take over my life!

This is just one example. For me they always act like the lost one that no one has ever loved. But if you give them any love they wont leave you alone. They latch onto you and keep sucking till they are full and you are empty. They will tell you anything in order to latch on.

It has got so bad for me that im afraid to connect with new people now. Cos it seems i have so many in my life. I dont know how to get rid of them so i usualy just leave them on the edge of my life and hardly ever speak to them. I have isolated myself from people cos of this. It is hard to spot them ahead of time. Its only once they are in your life that they show themselves and im so bad at getting out of friendships. It feels like im breaking their heart!

BUt i think this is just my projection onto them. I hate being abandoned so i dont want to do that to someone else

lilly
@lilly
04/11/16 02:34:11AM
30 posts

How many of us are single out of choice


Empath

I just wondered cos im so far deciding to stay single in my life rather than go searching for love. I found im just wanting to work on myself at the moment and work out alot more about my highly sensitive personality and my newly descovered empath place in the world. I was already doing so much work on myself and discovering so many things i wouldnt have discovered if id been with someone i dont believe.

I personaly feel i have too much 'stuff' to be getting into a close personal realationship. That coupled with i dont know what i want from someone else. And i have a very complex physical illness and mental things in tow. I feel it would actualy be very foolish to become involved with someone right now.

But there is someone i met through a forum. We have been speaking on the phone and im fond of him already. But if anything were to happen it will be a long way off in the future. I dont think he is in any sort of rush to start something. But there has been flurting.

I feel truely that i am better off alone. There is not the same constant stress like if you are with someone. Ive not learned to negotiate the emotions of other people yet to successfully be able to be around another person. I can just feel too overwhelmed by another. Ive often thought if i ever got a long term partner and we wanted to live together. I would ask him to live in the annex in my garden rather than live with me in the main house. Cos i would like to not have to see him everyday!!.

I am just a very self sufficent and solitary person. I get strength from being alone. That doesnt mean im anti-social i have friends and i see my dad three times a week. I would even like to make some more like minded friends That live in my area or even just online people. But i for now dont know how to be in a relationship with someone else. ive been single so long ! Its been 15 years since i had a boyfriend and im only 37. Ive had alot of personal problems that have led me to turn to myself more and more. And had illness problems as well so have adapted to be by myself. Now i cant imagine being with a man.

Anyway my question to you all is if you are single is it out of choice? Have you chosen it for your sanity or just cos you fancied being alone for awhile.


updated by @lilly: 10/19/17 10:24:14AM
lilly
@lilly
04/11/16 02:00:37AM
30 posts

Where are we all from?


Empath

Im in Essex Uk.

I too wondered how many of us were Uk.

I know the cathedral in salisbury is supposed to be amazing and have a cloister. One of my friends comes from there and she said as a teenager she used to seek refuge from the world in the cloister. Isnt it supposed to be one of the biggest cathedrals as in the Uk or something.

lilly
@lilly
04/07/16 07:49:41PM
30 posts

Getting out of Toxic Home


Empath

I believe places can be cursed and ive experienced it with a friend the house she has lived in for years has brought her constant bad luck since she moved there and it seems infested with spirits. I tries to stay over night in her house visiting her but i wasnt able to fall asleep at all being awakened just on the edge of sleeping by spirits doing things.

I believe her house is a hotspot for some reason. She is very much in a negative place in her life and every time she trys to get to move another big problem comes up for her to tackle so she can never get any doors to stay open for her to move out the house,

Im not saying your place is a spirit problem but it could be. Or it could just be bad energy for something that happened there in the past. Or some other reason. Have you thought about getting a house clearing done. There are many people out there who can do this very well. And distantly so you or they dont need to travel. It can be quite miraculus the results. Even if you go on still to move then it could help you to be able to get to that point and have a door stay open for you.

Ive had a similar fight between good and evil it was horrendous. I can talk more about it if that would help but i think it maybe a different sort of situation. I thought mine was my house cos the evil energy was in the house and everywhere. But i have ended up loving this house and wanting to stay here forever. I found out it wasnt the house but a bad healer i was involved in who was channeling evil spirits to me when she was supposed to be sending distant healing. I found out cos i had a dream that told me this and told me immedatley to stop the healings. I dont know if she was doing it conciously or what And straight away something good happened to me after i had had years of terrable luck.It took awhile to get rid of all the negative left overs from her. But im just saying its not always the house it can come from people even so called healers

I hope some of that helps you feel like its not just you.

lilly
@lilly
04/06/16 10:18:42PM
30 posts

What do you think triggered your empathic abilities?


Empath

Hi i personaly feel i was just born this way and it is just who i am its not something that developed. Of course you could argue that something traumatic happened to me in the womb that made me be born this way.

Acording to my mum i used to cry alot of the time and would refuse to sleep at night I believe i was being bothered by spirits at that age even and they where stopping me sleeping cos i struggled all the way through childhood to get to sleep. Out of fear mainly of what i saw and felt but also staying asleep was impossable as i would be woken each night by having nightmares which i believe where spiritual attacks on me.I had them almost nightly all my childhood and would always end up in my parents bed. Where i felt they could protect me.

I also always was aware of being highly different than other people and noticed things no one else seemed to see and feel. I felt it about places,people animals, and nature sensing the spirit of trees and plants and insects. Ive always felt i could see in people souls and tell what kind of soul they had . They didnt need to say or do anything they could be standing still with their back to me and i would know what sort of person they where. Nothing to do with body language it was a tangable overwhelming sense of the soul energy slamming into me and this was of every person i met. I spent nearly all my childhood and teenage years avoiding all eye contact cos i would get bombarded with emotional messages from peoples eyes( windows of the soul).

I would say my childhood was traumatic because of my empathic abilities and sensitivities. And not that trauma led to them

But having said that mine wasnt an easy family to grow up in thought there was love.It was what they call a disfunctional family!

lilly
@lilly
04/06/16 09:58:21PM
30 posts

Feeling constant flow of electricity throughout my body


Empath

All i can say is i have had alot of healing done and do energy work on myself too. and its often produces this electricity feeling. I have given myself and other people electric shock type feeling with my hands. I couldnt do healing on myself until i learned to shut down my hand chakras cos i decided to try to block them when i was healing to see if that made a difference to the intensity of the energy coming through. I think they where too open and i believe all my chakras are too open.

I am highly sensitive to all body sensations and it increases if i do a healing for too long on myself. so i have to keep the sessions short and sweet. Its Like the body is out of balance and too high vibrations if i do healing for too long.

We are beings of the earth...in our bodys are from earth but our spirit is from upper higher realms. We need both to be stable and comfortable as humans.

I would sugest you look into closing your chakras they sound way too open to me. THis is what i am looking into at present. Also any grounding techniques you can find on the internet would maybe make you feel less sensitive. Your body needs to be strongly connected to the earth to be okay.

I would say that you got too much energy from the healer doing that on you. It does sound a bit like kundalini awakening they are oftem traumatic and some people regret them highly cos the suffering that comes from being too finely tuned to everything.

But i also thought maybe about Chronic fatogue syndrome this an illness of the nervous system that causes sensitivity and extreme fatigue. It comes from damage to the central nervous system. Pm me if youd like to ask more. I have chronic fatigue syndrome myself or m.e. as its called in the UK

One thing that helps me when i feel so super sensitive that i cry is drinking loads and loads of water. Im not sure yet why this is but it works for me. Im talking like a litre and a half or two litre bottle of mineral water. Not tap water. In the spaace of an hour taking lots of little sips dont down it all at once it will just go through you and you will just need to wee! It needs to get into the tissues of your body and be absorbed into them so lots of little sips every minute or so. This works great for me. But you must drink alot even if you dont feel thirsty. Give it a try when your at your most tired out and see if it works for you too.

I hope some of that helped you in some way good luck to you in your search for increasing your intuition and increasing your empathic abilities. Im after decreasing mine. I have too many would you like some of mine!! LOL !.

lilly
@lilly
04/06/16 09:16:45PM
30 posts

Does anyone feel their empathic sensitivity is getting stronger with age


Empath

hi rene thanks for your care. I have suffered so much my whole life i know its sad and im sorry to bring up sadness in you. But ive never felt i could ever really express it before and people understand. Others who arent empathic or HSP just seem to belittle it or see it as some sort of attitude problem. Even spiritual healers have belittled my suffering as a HSP. As if its some sort of wrong belief i have about myself. But i have spoken to many healers. All have said they think im a very old soul and have been doing the round of reincarnating a long long time. I have taken a few internet test on how old your soul is and i always come out and old soul. I feel ancient like i have been around for eons of time made to come back again and again and just to experience. And all of it has acumulated in me. This is how i truely feel.

On the other had it could just be i was unlucky and got born with a highly tuned nervous system that causes me unceasing pain. Even in my house alone with my cats i suffer for the reason i exsist and all is feeling, all is pain.

The spirits i experience vary from very evil demonic attacks i had for years. To spirits that just seem a bit scary cos i dont know what they want but they just seem interested in me and touch me alot. I dont know if thats them trying to find their way into my aura and attach to me or if they are just curious spirits that want to make themselves be known. Often they have stoped me sleeping cos of touching me all night. But when i end up crying with exhaustion they seem to go away or that was my last spirit experience anyway. I last picked one up in a church that came home with me and touched me all night and i didnt get a wink of sleep. Im scared to go back to church now. I thought they would be one of the safest places to be protected. It seems to be increasing for me though this is the thing im worried about.

Like my nervous system is progressivley being worn down by the constant overwhelm. I must point out i have a neurological illness that effects all the systems of my body. So i have this to contend with daily and a myraid of symptoms. But i feel the sensitivity is a spiritual emotional one that effects my body and not the other way round. My body is ill yes but i feel the sensitvity is coming from my emotions and spirit self.

I am trying to practice the turning down the volume control advice on here. Im working on it but so far i cant get a clear picture in my head of the dial. But i will keep at it. Its sort of like a hypnosis technique i had success with some other similar techniques in the past but for other things not the overwhelm.

lilly
@lilly
04/06/16 06:53:42PM
30 posts

Does anyone feel their empathic sensitivity is getting stronger with age


Empath

I was born this way HSP and an empath. While i had a very overwhelming childhood. With spirits and peoples emotions making me physicaly ill. I feel the older im getting the more and more my empathic skills are getting even worse. Im having way more spirit experiences and cant cope with almost all face to face meetings where i have isolated myself from people to survive. I am housebound anyway with an illness. But i could go out sometimes if i chose but ive been prefering not too cos i either pick up a spirit and bring it home with me. Or someone upsets me and overwhelms me just with their energy. If i where well and able to go out whenever i wanted i wouldnt at all i would just stay at home all the time Or move to a remote place with some animals for company.

It does seem like its age for me, Its like some sort of progressive mental, physical and emotional illness that just is getting worse with time and im only 37 where will i be when i 60 or 80! If i get there. Its becoming unbearable for me. I so wish i could turn it off. Its a curse for me always has been and so is my highly sensitive nervous system. It makes life an endless trauma for me.


updated by @lilly: 01/09/17 05:24:33PM
lilly
@lilly
04/06/16 06:41:15PM
30 posts

Ghost smells.. ??


Empath

Ive smelt cigarette smoke before very over poweringly and cigarette ashtray smell as well. It cant be coming from anywhere else but the spirit world as my neighbours arent near and i live alone. Ive also smelt the overwhelming stench of (Sorry in advance to anyone sensitive!!) rotting flesh at a time i had alot of really bad stuff going on in my life and i believe i was cursed at the time. This smelll was constantly around me. Till things changed in my life. I got the strongest muskiest perfume i could find and burn benzoine essential oil all the time to block it out but could still smell it. It was hiddeous.

But spirits can make smells. Ive heard of alot of people smell cigarette smoke its one of the most common spirit smells next to a departed loved ones perfume. Or the smell of flowers in the dead of winter. Often a departed loved ones favorite flower. Ive also heard a christian friend said she could smell the sweetest smell she had ever smelt in the middle of winter when she was one her way to a special retreat place...she thought it might be the anointing oil that they used on christ after he was laid down from the cross. That was her beliefs coming into play maybe but who knows. She said since then she has smelled it other times. Like its not like perfume that you would smell on earth its most beautiful smell she every smelt. I was so jelaous of her being so blessed after my rotting flesh experience!!

lilly
@lilly
04/06/16 06:24:58PM
30 posts

Does anyone else get very agitated, upset with the change of season


Empath

I wondered this cos every year around the turn of winter to spring is by far the worst time for me. And then so is spring to summer. They are my worst months of the year cos of all the excess energy from nature i suppose. Especialy the turn when it first goes into change. But this year ive had the whole of my sleep disturbed for the last week and the clocks have just changed here in the UK.

My whole energy has been awful i felt so dreadful all week. Very highly agitated and like my body has too much energy to be able to fall asleep or rest. My favorite time of year is autumn and winter. But i still love all the flowers of summer.

Does anyone else experience similar.?


updated by @lilly: 01/15/17 06:50:08PM
lilly
@lilly
04/05/16 03:28:14AM
30 posts

What do empaths do for a living?


Empath

i dont work due to illness but ive thought if i ever got better that i would set up an ebay shop too!! Id like to sell essential oils and natural skin care as well. And also decoritive items. I would really love to do it but just not well enough at the moment.

But the experiences i had of work i know i couldnt work in any normal job without having a breakdown. I had numerous breakdowns cos of work and that led me to get physicaly ill. Its working with toxic people and maybe just now working with people in general i cant do ever again.

I would also love to run a small plant nursery but not do the buisness side. Just spend time with plants i love their energy and have a big collection of houseplants.

I also like writting and mostly do journal work and dabble on forums. I love the process of expression. As well i have multiple interests that are mainly creative that i would like to earn money from instead of being on state benifits. But i do sell the odd little item on ebay but i have little energy to make things cos of my illness.

lilly
@lilly
03/18/16 05:39:07PM
30 posts

About physical pain


Empath

Hi all thanks for this all your comments make sense to me we are more sensitive to others toxic energies and absorb it and then its in us reaking havok! Cat whisperer i can totaly relate to what youve said about your stomach i used to get this at school/ I used to throw up too. I also used to get horrengous migranes when at school as well. I was so often in the toilets during classes. The best thing to do is get out the place like you have said you will. I hope your next place is better energy.

It is hard to be so sensitive to others stuff that it inflicts pain and suffering on you. But its true that we can make a difference by staying possitive but thats not always possable when you go into despair. But im working on mine I have to accept pain is just a big part of my life and find ways to reduce it as much as possable and increase the good stuff. I think there are lots of ways to do this not just positive thinking but actions as well like what we eat and getting excersise as well and other spiritual practices and therapies.

lilly
@lilly
02/26/16 12:43:33AM
30 posts

Empath


Empath

I am the same feeling targeted is very acurate in how it feels. And it is often played out as such for me that i have had people radomly come and shout at me and give me verbal abuse. But they let everybody else go by. I used to have a very tough time and i was always afraid of people and their anger,hosility and hatred of me. But i also feel i cant cope with it when its directed at others as well. I

m trying to not take it personaly these days but that is hard. For me building up a group of friends that are like minded has been the best thing for me to have done for my self esteem. Most of those friends are on the internet. But i have become housebound due to an illness and it has vastly reduced my stress levels being inside alone most of the time. I can relax and stop reading people. And no random stragers to target me. I have to unfortunatly have paid carers from and agency and i know alot of them have not liked me in the past im not sure about my present ones. But i think i accept now that il never be a popular sort of person who fits in anywhere.

I am out of sinc with the rest of the world apart from other Highly sensitives and other empaths although many of them dont know they are empaths. But i see it as my tribe and i dont get on with any other kinds of people i just dont get them and they dont get me. I dont know why it leads to hatred though i dont hate them i just dont get them. But alot of people are quick to hate what they dont understand or what is different. Ive haerd of other people talk of getting randomly abused on a regular basis by people in the street. It seems some people just seek us out.

Ive not seen inception. But it does feel like this is what others are doing that they are feeling us out and seeing into us and they dont like what they see so attack it. I dont know why they would find us threatening since we are the least likely group of people to hurt anyone. But i find the type of people that are this way to us are very aggresive types anyway and always have hatred bubbling under the surface. Putting it out into the world whenever they choose to.

Your not alone anyway feeling this way

lilly
@lilly
02/24/16 05:26:27PM
30 posts

reading peoples negativity and social phobia HSP


Empath

hiya rene. Its interesting you ask if im a writter. I enjoy writting and do quite alot of personal and journal writting. Im interested in self publishing and im working on a booklet that i hope to sell through an m.e. CFS charity about what its like to live with the illness. I will give the profits to the charity And i want to do a regular newsletter for the same charity on living alone and being housebound and the spiritual side of that. I know from other forums i write on that people find i describe things well and help them understand themselves better. This is what i love about language it can open doors that you didnt even know where there. Its one of my dreams to get into writting seriously and creative writting also. Tell stories soulful ones.

Its interesting that there are too different takes on what i asked one of you said go closer and sense the negative and why its there. And the other said try not to pay attention at all. LOL somewhat confusing.!!

But i think found that shielding and things dont work for me. The energy coming at me is too intense. I had wondered about this letting it flow through me but i dont know how to do this. It seems to get stuck inside me. Maybe i need to do some technique when i encounter these people. I feel lucky in some ways that i am housebound now it does make my life easier and less constantly stressful. I have a very quiet life and do little bits of indoor gardening and tend my houseplants, and i do hold dear the good people in my life. I do see into souls and the state they are in. I can see a good soul a mile off and i always have gravitated to them. There are very few unpoluted people in the world, Maybe im poluuted too i dont know ill leave that for others to judge.

thanks rene for the poem i liked that..... what one fears one destroys what one doesnt know one will fear. It feels like they are destroying ME though thats what thier game is ...destruction and to inflict suffering. I wouldnt leave them with a mentaly handicaped person or a elderly person that cant talk for themselves or a sweet child cos i think they would do anything to someone if they could.Some people have sugested to me that these type of people may not be humans at all. Or humans posessed by evil. This was interesting to me and i havent forgotten that.

lilly
@lilly
02/23/16 07:50:51PM
30 posts

reading peoples negativity and social phobia HSP


Empath

I just wanted to put on here a bit of what i experience and really to see if its normal for an empath.

Well i have been doing a bit of work with a therapist and they have said something that i already knew i did but it has made me think about it more.

But i am always reading people. I think i scan for any negativity of any kind. I think this is something ive done since before i could walk. I dont know if its learned behavour or inbuild. Im not much ineterested in that but more about how to heal and to do that i want to understand.

i am afraid of people and their ability to hurt me with their emotions. I can have horrendous reactions to others internal emotions they dont have to say anything or do anything. Its whats inside them that i find attrocious. Cos i kow they are often evil or have evil and hatred in them. Sometimes they direct it at me sometimes its at other people around me. I dont go out the house now cos of having a serious illness that makes me housebound. But still i occasionaly have a good few moths and can go on holidays and then i am around people again.

Last time this happened all i can describe it as is being poisioned very badly. And it was a total physical and mental and emotional i could even say it effected my spirit. It was a full blown episode of some kind that happened after meeting two people that where serving in a restaurant in the hotel i was staying at.

I managed to get back to my room and collapsed on the bed and i had this episode full on physical and all the rest it was like a mini breakdown i felt psychotic. I cant really desribe it well just my mind disintergrated and i felt all the terrable emotions one person could feel in the space of an hour which it went on for it would have gone on longer but my dad came and knocked on my door and it seemed to break whatever was happening to me. Reality ultered totaly for me as a result of these two people that i can only desribe as evil. Thats what i picked up from them. Its like they infested me with it.This energy was toxic to my very being and it was as if my whole being had been poisoned by their internal energy and me being in there sights. They had wry smiles on them. Its not the first time something like this has happened but it was so totaly extreme. Like i said it was a full blown pychotic episode and i wasnt fully aware i seemed to have gone into an altered state. But it was because of them.

In my life i truely believe that its not possable for someone to be as sensitiive as i AM. Its so out of proportion to what has happened.

I dont understand

This sort of thing has happened to me all my life. I just scrapped through life out there till i became housebound with this physical illness. Now i can hide mostly from the world. Dont get me wrong i would be out if i could i would have just moved to the country. and gone long walks in nature and been mainly around animals and only loving soft and kind people. I would have worked for myself at home. I have lots of skills that together i could make a living from. But i do like to help people as well people who are suffering.

I have a terrable fear of negativity in others and im always scanning for it cos it can make me meltdown just to be exposed to it energeticaly it does seem to be toxic to me.

How is it possable for someone to be so sensitive???

Its like i was born on the wrong planet and im not meant to be around humans. Not those kind anyway. But i have some lovely friends who are wonderful people they are all HSP too and kind caring loving people.

Does anyone relate to this at all??


updated by @lilly: 01/09/17 09:12:40PM
lilly
@lilly
02/23/16 06:20:13PM
30 posts

Anyone with M.E. or Chronic fatigue syndrome?


Empath

Hi cheshire cat im sorry to hear you are so issolated as this. Its hard the issolation isnt it i wouldnt see anyone except my carers if i didnt have my father he is a lifeline to me as are my carers. Do you manage to get out at all? I havent been out yet this year but im planning an ambitious escape for an hour to my local church who are running a talk on celtic chrisianity. I really want to go even if its just for the hot chocolate they are serving at the end! But serously it is ambitious but i am going to try hard and hope i dont get pay back.

I have online and penpal friendships but not many face to face people. One lady from church is all i know really since i moved here 10 years ago. No one else wants to bother with an ill person it seems. Ive only really met carers anyway. Im in touch with two ex carers and thats all. It makes me feel scared for when my dad is no longer with me he is coming up to 80 in a few years so he isnt young. He is all the family i have in the world i literaly have no one else. And know no one in this area either cos ive only been out a handfull of times since coming here. It does eat away at you. But im just so grateful for the internet and my mobile for txting and my landline phone for phoning the samaritans which is a helpline for if your feeling low you can just phone up and talk to someone. They are a godsend.

Its good you have found some things to help you over the years. And craniosacral helped you. I had good results with shiatsu very gently and also reflexology. I now do hand reflexology on myself at night to get to sleep. Also i wanted to say have you considered an elecrtic handheld massager to use on yourself. I have a long handled one and do the whole of my back every other day and im alot more calmer person than i was and ive only been doing it a few months. I also do facial and head massage on myself with just my hands. I dont do it for more that a few minuites but its made a big difference to my core baseline state of calm which in turn has helped everything including pain. Also i do reiki on myself too with great results. Just thought its worth mentioning to you. Its hard with money to be able to afford treatments so the more you can do yourself the better.

Thanks for the name of the forums i will check them out. I hope your illness stops progressing and stabalises. Im slowly getting worse but i think its aging all though im only late 30s but still we age quicker when we are sick.

Thinking of you xx

lilly
@lilly
02/22/16 11:19:06PM
30 posts

About physical pain


Empath

Ive been wondering about this for it seems like forever. And now finaly i can ask other similar people to me. I feel like i am highly equainted with physical pain. Im a HSP and was born this way. I remember pain as a child and i used to absorb people emotions i felt so much physical pain all over and overwhelmed to the point it just hurt to be alive.

Im wondering if i may have had some kind of pain syndrome as a child as i now have been diagnosed with fibromyagia which is essentialy a pain syndrome.

But i wondered if this has come about cos of the constant pain i used to feel as a child and having my sensory system overwhelmed so badly on such a daily basis like this. School was torturous for me. I used to vomit down the toilet and have migranes on a very regular basis i dont know how many times a week. I wished id been home schooled. I feel i just was made too sensitive for the world really. And that normal life is just agonising for me physicaly.

To feel other people emotions all of them and then my own negative ones is very energieticly painful. TO be around movement and noise is painful all sensory stimulus is painful. I dont know not everyone who is an empath is a HSP. Maybe i need to find a highly sensitive forum to ask this. But can anyone relate to this level of body pain.?


updated by @lilly: 03/13/17 09:40:19AM
lilly
@lilly
02/22/16 11:01:24PM
30 posts

Empath


Empath

I can relate to the worrying or feeling that people hate me. I wonder what that is. For me i think alot of it is i am attuned to negative energy in people. So if i meet someone and their energy is full of anger , hostility and hatred in general and are just intolerant as well. I will pick it up. And i think often the person senses that i have seen them and they dont like it. I can feel like their hatred is about me but it may be more that they live in a state of hatred all the time putting it out onto the world. Anyone who they find displeasing for some reason they put it out onto.

I think also for some reason us empaths stand out more our energy is just different and people notice us more walking down the street you just cant blend in. I do think some people hate us more. I havent figured out why. But i think it is something to do with being different. They are often intolerant like i said. Alot of people are. Also i feel too that people respond to whats inside you and your self beliefs too. So if your walking about expecting rejection and are in a state of fear some people it brings the worst out in them and they do reject you and if your fearful they will attack you even if its just with their mind and thoughts. It is possable for someone to attack you with thier thoughts!

I have trouble with this as well knowing what my empath skills and knowing whats paranoia. Cos i dont know to be honest and it is very distressing to get overwhelmed by our experiences. For me it helps not to think so much just to say .... This is my experience right now how do i help myself feel better. And usualy the answer is to stop thrashing myself with fear.

I havent worked much else out yet but im working on it too. So you arent alone. :)

lilly
@lilly
02/22/16 10:40:34PM
30 posts

Anyone with M.E. or Chronic fatigue syndrome?


Empath

Hi cheshire cat im sorry you have these illness's thats horrable that you are so ill. I havent been tested for lymes i keep meaning to go for tests.

But blood tests make me so unwell.

Id be interested in what alternative treatments youve had that are helping you, Ive had various things like reiki, cranio sacral therapy. i take lots of supplements that have helped my immune system alot and stopped me getting almost constant infections like i did at one point. i used to get ill with something so often i would only usualy have two weeks maximum in between infections. Now i almost hardly get any.

Ive also have fibromyalgia which means almost constant pain. But mine is mostly bearable at the moment. But i have wanted to take my life cos of the severe agony i have had with it in the past. I dread it getting that bad again. But we cant live like that we have to make the most of whatever good we have.

Im sorry you cant move to the country like you want to. I used to long for the country too but it would be impractical cos i need so much help from others i need to be near amenities and care agencies etc. So ive chosen a quiet street in suberbia. I actualy have like a mini wood on the green out the front of my house. With lots of lovely trees. It has made a big difference to me living here and ive improved since i came here and the quiet makes such a difference.

I really hope one day you dont have to be so close to hospitals. But i know recovery is a fairy tale for some people. I hope alternative medicine continues to help you.

Take good care of yourself

lilly
@lilly
02/21/16 08:15:39AM
30 posts

Empath


Empath

I think its about how you yourself percieve it if the person is suffering terrably i dont think telling them that they are just ecclectic would be helpful. Personaly my life would be a living hell without meds and i dont think that means i am surrendering to anything. I need them to function just like someone with thyroid problems or diabeties needs their medication or are you saying they shouldnt take their medication either or they are just surrendering to their illness. So basicly your saying its all a matter of how you decide to think about it. Like you can just control everything with your mind. How on earth can you judge someone elses expeirence when you havent lived it! I would say a bit of humility wouldnt go a miss. That you dont know everything and cant know another persons experience. Having a varied personality is not the same as being mentaly disturbed. Judging people that take medication. How do you know so much about mental illness anyway. I know why i got ill and yes i would agree that its because the world is disfunctional and people treat each other very badly. But i would say i was ill to me that means im not functional on my own without help. Its not a matter of how you look at things it a matter of what your experience is. You cant just will things away.

If someone told you that all your problems where a matter of what you beilieved and they werent really problems you just believed they were. Thats a nice way of saying 'its all i your head' Does that make your problems magicaly disapear?? No. Does that make your life any easier. And does it make you feel cared for and heard? Or does it make you feel belittled and being told your just making mountains out of mole hills.

lilly
@lilly
02/21/16 07:42:13AM
30 posts

Anyone with M.E. or Chronic fatigue syndrome?


Empath

Hi lotus fly yes this is where mine came from my dysfunctional upbringing. Its so hard to unlearn what has been a habbit for so long but we must try otherwise we are just giving into it and we might even be suprised how far we can come. I wonder how long have you had the symptoms of fibromyalgia cos im researching physical pain from my childhood and if it could have been FM back then even. Its so hard to suffer everyday and know its cos of the way you where introduced to the world and you have a lifetime of work to unravel it all. Im sorry your in pain. I dont remember a time i wasnt in pain emotional and physical. I know the two are link inextricably. I hope you find ways to be in the world without suffering and that you find a way to your true self.

lilly
@lilly
02/21/16 07:33:03AM
30 posts

Anyone with M.E. or Chronic fatigue syndrome?


Empath

hi karen how do you do this clearing the links. What do you visualise or say. I had someone show me that draw a figure of eight on a peice of paper one bit is you one bit is them an then to cut it in the middle and burn the two pieces she called that cutting the ties. How do you do it? I think it is maybe a good idea to do this but it will only be part of the puzzle for me. But thanks for this idea.

lilly
@lilly
02/20/16 11:58:27AM
30 posts

Empath


Empath

HI ive also had depression all my life and anxiety issues too. I had a full psychotic breakdown at 15. With halucinations and deslusions etc. Ive had several psychotic episodes, many actualy some small some big. Im on anti-psychotic medictaion i believe for life. Ive tried coming off them its horrific without them i dont believe i would be functional without them no one knows this but my doctor even my family. Im afraid they will judge me as crazy. For me it is alot to do with severe mood swings as well. I thought i had schizophrenia too. But i was just diagnosed by a psychiatrist with depressive psychosis and bipolar disorder. But ive done research and i actualy think i may have bordeline personality disorder. This is when you have all the moods in one day. And it stands for borderline psychosis. People with this personality disorder want it renamed emotional diregulation disorder. Cos it means you cant regulate your own emotions properly. It is other people that made me this broken. Thier hatred and their toxic emotions and thoughts. I developed this illness badly cos of abuse i was getting for being disabled and having to deal with emotional abuse from carers too. It was full on and i was trapped in the situation cos of physical health issues. If there is any stress in my life i am not functional and unravel. This is just the way i am i work very hard at self care and relearning ways to be healthy.

Self care to me involves what i think what i allow in my head. I cant cope with negative thoughts like one other poster said you just have to say no to negative thoughts and not allow them in your mind space. They are like poison to us. WE can transmute others negativity with our minds too. This is something i am slowly learning to do. I have to go slow cos im up against alot of stuff and it takes time to unravel the mysteries of our personalities and find things that dont make it all worse. And actualy are healing. I wish you luck. If you havent looked already look into self healing techniques and try and nurture yourself as much as you can. Treat yourself as a scared infant and care for yourself as you would a child that was in distress.

lilly
@lilly
02/20/16 11:22:19AM
30 posts

Anyone with M.E. or Chronic fatigue syndrome?


Empath

Hi lavender& rose Thanks for the reply. I think its so important we learn to respect ourselves and our bodies. Im still learning or rather unlearning damaging ideas my parents gave me when i was young. Like basicaly ignoring how i feel and pretending its not there or being told its all in my head. So therefore ignore ever message my body is giving me. So many conflicts going on inside.

Im glad you have learned from your life important ways to keep yourself healthy. It does take a long time and a long and winding road. But its our lifes work isnt it. i hope you continue to learn good leasons and continue to keep yourself healthy and happy. I think for me apart from what ive said above it is about finding ways to switch off and not stay on the alert all the time and not be always still picking up information. But thats so hard to do. Finding ways to heal from the past and relax in the here and now and let the future take care of itself.

lilly
@lilly
02/13/16 12:35:20PM
30 posts

Anyone with M.E. or Chronic fatigue syndrome?


Empath

I feel like this is a beacon of hope for me this site ive just joined you all yesterday. I feel a bit overwhelmed by other empath forums. It can be all a bit too much for me. I want to say but dont know if this is the right place. I have developed physical illness's through i believe having this trait or personality. I have got so ill. I am now bedbound and have to spend my life in a darkened room cos everything in the world makes me feel desperately ill. I have symptoms that just come all day no matter what i do. I am continualy exhausted and can do so very little. Im in touch with other people with my illness, I feel alot of them are empaths too. I believe that being an empath has caused me to get ill with this debilitating and life destroying illness. I would love to learn some ways to learn to turn my nervous system down cos it has gone into overdrive and is hyper, hyper sensitive.

I dont want to scare anyone but please people be careful and work hard at turning down your sensory system and take messages from your body seriously. If something is overwhelming for you get away from it if you can. Dont worry about what other people tell you or what others will think of you. Listen to your body. I always wonder if id listened to my body more would i have got ill in the first place.

But i just wanted to put awarness out there that this can lead to very physical damage to the nervous system and that opens the doorway to alot of illnesses. Take time to rest and recuperate from the strains of life. If you are in a very stressful work or home life situation. Please dont just carry on valiantly hoping it will get better one day. You must make time for yourself to de-stress. Rest is so important to us. Please take me as a warning. And make time for your poor worn out and highly responsive body dont thrash it. I always thought i was doing enough to protect myself but looking back i did all the wrong things. I did alot that was sensable but also i could have been kinder to my body and listened to it, I think this is one of our jobs as empaths to learn to listen to bodies. Society tells us to ignore intuiton and push them Just look at the way we excersise...feel the burn! And to be productive at all costs. Like our bodys are machines. But they are so much more than machines, They need our help to look after them they are helpless and vulnerable almost like a child they have to do what we say and if you abuse them they will turn out broken. Its so hard when our bodys are a source of pain and overwhelm that we are used to just trying to ride through the rollercoaster of being in the world. But care is needed thats what my message is. Take care of your child like physical side.


updated by @lilly: 01/10/17 05:50:48AM