Forum Activity for @janeames

janeames
@janeames
02/08/16 05:38:16AM
10 posts

Not sure whether I am an empath or just a depressive.


Empath

This venue is open for fall to discuss and so you are not imposing. The reason I mentioned seeing people as "mentally Ill" is not like I really think they are mentally ill. In the Buddhist tradition, in which I have practiced, people are perceived as not being enlightened if they don't have right action, right thought, and meditation is a daily practice. The idea is to keep one grounded. It is also considered, in this tradition, that the mind by its very nature is scattered and the task is to keep coming back to a centered and more stable condition. It is a condition that everyone suffers from, and unless one is consciously performing right speech, right action, then one's speech and action can be inappropriate - the Buddhist regard it like being in a state of madness.

Meditation, on a regular, long term basis is a very powerful tool, in grounds you and you are able to deflect attacks, come to decisions more quickly, and speak your mind with careful language.

So in closing "mentally ill" was more of an expression on how to see others, when being attacked, it was meant as a protection to the one being attacked, and not as an excuse for the attacker.

Emails and written dialogue is always hard to communicate what a person means, I hope I have cleared things up.

It is safe to say that every human suffers in the same way, we are all trying to find a way to live - people here seem, although sometimes hurt are def more enlightened than their attackers. Regards.

janeames
@janeames
02/07/16 09:50:44AM
10 posts

Not sure whether I am an empath or just a depressive.


Empath

this is a good discussion and helps enormously. Karma - I would like to suggest that instead of thinking the human race "ugly" I try to look at them as though they are mentally ill - more like from a Buddhist point of view, If you hold this in your mind, it may help you to stay calm (this practice is for you not them). If you think that they have a mental disease then there is a conscious feeling that "they can't help it" gives compassion to them, but the best part is that it makes you feel more grounded. This has help me enormously, as I deflected my anger and sadness from my friend, back onto her "because she was not in her right mind" that is not to say that I am now ok with what she did, it just helped me to "let go" and "move on" and work on surrounding myself with positive people - I do, as I say, do not get too close now, I am happier involving myself deeply in me and my passions not other people. I think I big part of a healthy mind is to find your passion.

janeames
@janeames
02/07/16 05:10:11AM
10 posts

Not sure whether I am an empath or just a depressive.


Empath

Conny - not sure who you replied to above. But as I mentioned before, I have cognizantly tried to spread myself thinly over more people I have joined many "meetups" on meetup.com and meet up with people who share my interests, this helps not to get deeply involved with them.

janeames
@janeames
02/07/16 05:04:15AM
10 posts

Not sure whether I am an empath or just a depressive.


Empath

Thanks for your thoughts.One misinterpretation though - about the woman with cancer only telling me. She talked very badly about her friends and these were part of the neighborhood. I was in the neighborhood too, but had moved here later. Her kids were around the same age, mine were a little younger. She constantly said that she didn't trust her other friends and felt that I was her best friend. I was the only one she told about her cancer feeling, she said, that she didn't want people asking how she was doing, or talking behind her back and feeling sorry for her. In the end, although she said she didn't care for them, she really wanted to be part of their inner circle. I think she wanted to keep me and them at arm's length. A couple of these friends were surprised that I wasn't invited to the wedding and I felt very shunned. I decided not to attend her mother's funeral because she had been acting weird and rude about a month before, but I had not been cognizant of it until around her mother's death. I did not know her mother that well, so send card and flowers instead - it would've felt weird going. I go to a lot of "meetups", you might look into these on meetup.com. It must be difficult though not driving.

janeames
@janeames
02/06/16 10:21:29AM
10 posts

Not sure whether I am an empath or just a depressive.


Empath

Cheshire Cat - I have had a couple of long term friendships that I thought would never end, after some very small insignificant incidents. It is extremely painful when you have invested all that time and emotion with someone. The last occasion for me was two years ago, when a close friend invited all the people she didn't care for to her son's wedding and left me out. I had taken this friend to her cancer treatments, dropped everything when she needed to talk, (she didn't tell anyone else she had cancer). Looked after her house when she regularly went on trips to her cabin etc. I did not talk to her about it because her mother died at the same time and I felt I could not talk to her about it then. Straight after she moved away. However, alone in my pain, I thought about the friendship and realized it was one sided, and I feel it is her loss, not mine. I also think that being so close for such an extended time and then shutting me out was a problem with her not mine. It seems to me such a long term problem with her (she said herself that she had never had close friends, but me) that I would not be able to fix her, and I have always believed that you can only fix yourself not other people, so have let the "friendship" go. I bought a book a long time ago on friendships and breakups, you might want to check it out. Lastly, you have to consider (like I did) why you need to have such deep friendships. I guess I had an unconscious want for those close friendships that other people seem to have - I am beginning to think that these kinds of friendships are unique and you are lucky if you come across them, MOST people don't have these in their lives. I decided instead of having few friends, to have more but spread myself thinly, and I have been much happier.

http://www.amazon.com/Best-Friends-Forever-Surviving-Breakup/dp/1590200403/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1454781908&sr=1-3&keywords=best+friends+forever

Take care.

janeames
@janeames
02/05/16 01:51:10PM
10 posts

Not sure whether I am an empath or just a depressive.


Empath

the reason I went to past life regression was because I have returned to doing art - photography and I found that as I had been away from art many years, I did not have as many creative ideas as I had when I was younger and thought that my imagination would help me to composite some images in photography. I have meditated for a number of years.

I had been taking this thing very lighting, as many participants had over explosive imaginations, ie "I was a princess in Russia" etc.

Anyway, the invigilator takes you from 20 to 1, when at one he tells you to imagine where you are - on the occasion of seeing my mother I literally closed my eyes at 20, and there stood my mother in front of me. I have very few photographs of her, and have always had a problem bringing her physically to mind - I am 55 and she was bedridden when I was 14 years old. She started talking to me, and said "silly bugger, he's at 20 and I am already here" we had this mind to mind conversation in which she told me that she had a message. It was to talk to everyone but listen a lot more to what they had to say, that I didn't listen enough. She said she was very busy and was on a journey and had tasks to do, so couldn't stay long. After a few back and forths of thoughts between us, I realized that I was at a place that words were inappropriate, that it was enough just to be there. You might ask what I believe, well either I had unlocked a part of my brain and I was remembering something quite vivid, but if so this was as vivid as I had ever experienced or it was another dimension. I don't quite well. To add further to this, the next day, without my phone having the music playing it started up playing with a favorite band called James. It is a song about someone that had passed away and it said, "im talking to you, Im only talking to you. Ill see you at the seance tonight.

Do I believe in past life regression - not sure. I certaintly didn't go again, because I thought my experience needed some space. Will I go again some day, yes.

janeames
@janeames
02/05/16 08:10:02AM
10 posts



I think when confronted with negativity you do not verbally react ( or if you do, do so in a nonchalant way, neither agreeing or disagreeing) and say over and over again that this is not about me but about you, this may help. I find that meditating every day keeps one grounded.

janeames
@janeames
02/04/16 02:54:10PM
10 posts

Not sure whether I am an empath or just a depressive.


Empath

From an early age I thought I was different and although I liked the feeling, was at the same time lonely and didn't have true friends. As I grew up I had many opportunities pass by and even when I jumped on them, they didn't turn out well.

I have a compelling urge to help other people with their problems, but not being able to solve my own. I feel that I have to have a discussion with everyone I meet because unconsciously I am there to give them a message or answer to their problem.

My personality gets often misinterpreted as manipulation. this makes me feel very bad because I feel that I am being authentically compassionate.

I have had an experience with past life regression where I saw my mother (who passed 20 years ago) at the very beginning of the session. We shared out thoughts in conversation and after a while thoughts felt worthless it was enough being there. This def was not my imagination, it was an experience.

I try to steer away from negativity now that I know it makes me feel drained. I wish though that I could have more energy.


updated by @janeames: 01/09/17 01:20:23PM
janeames
@janeames
02/04/16 02:19:20PM
10 posts



Try to hold yourself as a mirror and reflect the negativity off. Other peoples negativity makes me feel tired. Sometimes we are picked out for targets of this negativity, when others think we are good listeners. But negativity has to go somewhere, and if they feel better, it is often passed on to the listener.

Perhaps instead of giving advice, you could try just being present to the negativity and have language that is non intrusive in the situation but consciously see the negativity and block it.