Joined this group as soon as I saw the line..."Feeling lost" in the description...I am hoping writing this can help me.
I am feeling increasingly disconnected; I have no desire to connect with the 'human' world, and feel as if it's unsafe. I have no 'friends' or people I feel connected to in my day to day life. I often am overwhelmed and put off by the way people live and the state of our world. If I am not at work, I often hold up in my home, watching reruns on netflix and shutting down, zoning out and avoiding the world as much as possible.
I have tried to connect, but people don't like me; (or so it seems) I have never felt a part of the general population and for a while thought I found a home in a spiritual community, but lately, even there all I feel is the falsehoods, the judgements and masks people wear. It too has became a place where I don't feel safe. I have a strong sense that people are not genuine and it saddens me to the point of exhaustion. Grounding works, but only for a little while; I can't spend a lot of time in public. If I focus on compassion it will help too, but also only for a short period.
These people here, on earth, do not feel like my people; I struggle to feel connection to anyone. I have a handful (literally less then 5) of people who I trust and feel connection to but they all live out of town. I feel as though I need to do something to 'fix' myself...so that I can be a part of the 'real world' but then I feel conflicted and think, no, I'm not wrong, the state of the world is not authentic and it pains me. It doesn't feel like I'm coming from ego, but maybe I am.... I have for a period of my life, ran by ego; I was 'better' then the rest of 'them' but that's not what this feels like. I can see and understand why people live the way they do. When I meet someone who is struggling in whatever way, I can show compassion, I can listen and support and send love. I feel though that I am alone in my view of the world. The daily grind is not something I'm built for. I don't care what 'stuff' I have or how to get more money to buy more stuff. I stopped paying attention to the news like 25 years ago because I knew instinctively that it was not good for me. But because of my lack of desire to participate in the way the general population thinks/acts I feel utterly alone.
I so wish some days that I too could not see what I see and feel. The sadness, the anger, the judgement, the overwhelming selfishness of the world. I know that others are doing the best they can, but I don't feel as though I can be or rather that I am a part of it. Therefore I often feel very alone.
Perhaps I need to focus on connecting to source; has anyone here have similar experience? What have you done that helps? I have 2 days off, with no responsibilities; so I believe I will meditate and potentially make another attempt to attend that spiritual community I am so disconnected from. or perhaps not...I am seeking guidance...any would be helpful.
updated by @kaolin: 02/28/17 09:34:42PM