Want to introduce myself.
I wanted to introduce myself as I am new to all this and also get some feedback, as I am still questioning things and only came to the possible conclusion that I could be an empath because of some recent articles I have read that drew my attention to myself.
Hi, I am Lindsey. From England (Yorkshire) originally but am living in Texas at the moment. I have always felt kind of out of sorts and uncomfortable and couldn't really explain why I felt that way or what was wrong. My family (my teenage daughter, mother, aunt, grandmother and my cousins) all have very similar traits as myself, some to deeper degrees, so this must be a family thing as well. I am 44 years old and now just really realizing some things about myself - I think that is normal for most people as you mature and come to terms with some things. I have always had a love for nature, animals, the outdoors and solitude. I love to read and learn and get very bored when I am not challenged or learning - my husband says that I ask why all the time and need to know things. I am a Montessori Teacher (work with 3-6 year olds) and have always been drawn to children, animals, causes, charities, volunteering, caring about things etc, more than the average person does. I like to be involved with community projects, not just things that are for myself. I have always been very overly emotional and have always felt compelled to help other people.
When something distressing is on the news I find that I cry easily and then whatever it is plays on my mind all day and it bothers me that I can't do anything about it. Don't like to see cruelty to any living thing.From being young some things bothered and distressed me but they didn't seem to bother others - I never liked unreal characters on the television (Wizard of Oz, ET, Aliens, Charlie and the chocolate factory)and to this day cannot watch anything science fiction, horror or anything where there is violence. Even documentaries about real life situations that are horrific, like the holocaust upset me to a degree that I can't sleep after watching them and theydistress me. As a child (and still now) I didn't like the circus, especially clowns, loud music, crowded places, fireworks, bright lights and disco type lights etc. I have a sensitive digestive and nervous system.
I don't take medications as everything seems to react to me or I don't like how it makes me feel. My daughter was born naturally, as I didn't like the gas and air and after surgeries I haven't been able to take the pain medicine, even allergy medicine makes me act strange. I cannot wear anything but gold earrings as I am allergic, and have sensitivities to other things and certain foods. Alcohol isn't a good choice for me as only a small amount makes me tipsy. I have always been more aware of things than others around me - I can smell a gas leak hours or days before others, hear things others can't, more observantand remember details others cannot. Strong smells like perfumes/soaps/chemicals irritate me and give me headaches and I can smell them before anyone else. My family and I also have a variety of phobias (claustrophobia, heights, driving on the highway etc)and seem to suffer from anxiety.
I am a calm person, I don't like arguing, raised voices, anger etc. I am a teacher and even other teachers tell me how unusually calm and patient I am - I think this is why I have become a Montessori Teacher and am also drawn to peace and peaceful situations. The one area I have a challenge asteacher with, is being honest - I am too honest apparently and have got in trouble for telling a parent something that I feel they should know, whereas other teachers wouldn't say anything. I have issues with most people - meaning I have issues with their behavior, I don't like deceitful people or people who lie easily. I can tell when I am being lied to and even though I cannot say at that time what it may be they are lying about or doing that is deceitful, it comes out later and I was right. I have a good intuition about people and often others tell me that I was right all along about someone. At work I seem to be the person that everyone else comes to when they have problems or they need to talk and then I end up being a go between letting my Directors know about things that they don't notice orneed to know about.
I have been married for 18 years and I have to say that myself and my husband are opposites and its got to a point where a lot of things I cannot tolerate and I will probably end up leaving.I met my husband when I was here in the US workingand we married (probably too quickly) and I was very nave at the time and didn't ask enough questions and didn't get to know him like I should have first. Long story short, it wasn't long before I became pregnant before we married and even though I knew he was not really the one for me and I saw some things that bothered me, I married him anyway - fear I think of doing things on my own and I also believed that he would change and be more responsible. Anyway, I have kind of struggled through and have tolerated things that most others wouldn't have - he has anger issues, poor impulse control, has gambled and lied about things and he wonders why I don't fully trust him. He has siblings and a parent who are bipolar and I have felt for many years that he was also (this was before the others were diagnosed). He can bevery negative, putshimself first,I could go on and on.Myself and my daughter went back to England for 3 years and it was like my personality started to return, I felt free and able to do things that made me happy. I had lived here in Texas for 12 years but didn't really fit in here, was more used to the English way of life, didn't drive, liked train travel, being by the coast and countryside etc and missed all of that. Well, the job situation was not good in England I decided to come back, and convinced myself that things would be ok and that maybe I had exaggerated things a bit and maybe things weren't as bad. I have been back here with my husband for a 18 months and have been very unhappy and have bouts of depression because I am in surroundings I don't care for. It is a nice area, but I like the freedom to walk and to use public transport and to travel around. I miss the ocean and all of my interests are mainly historical/cultural that are not here, so I have been feeling like a bird in a cage. I like to travel and experience new things and I feel restrained here. I understand the need for routine and rules but like to break free now and again and just go off and do things for the weekend, pack my bag and jump on the train to visit a new place. Here I have to get in the car all the time, which others say is freedom and a privilege, but I don't feel that way - I feel that having to rely on a car all the time is not freedom at all.
My interests have always been in historical things - I like to visit castles, cathedrals, ancient ruins etc. I do like cities like London, Paris etc for cultural, historical reasons but don't care for the crowds and have to findpeaceful places like parks or gardens to visit in between. Literature and history are my main interests along with music and the theatre. Have always beendrawn to celticthings andlike to learn about medieval and ancient times.I am a Christian and have always been drawn to religious and spiritual things - have tried several different denominations but I have always been drawn to some pagan things, as I love nature as well as things from other religions as well.The religiosity and peoples rules have put me off going to achurch as such.I have always felt out of place in this time period, like some of my family also. I am competent with technology but don't really like it (would rather not have it)and like simpler things and a simple way of life. I am not into possessions at all and hate to shop and spend money. I am more interested in experiences and learning, than owning things. I also cannot understand religious people here who hunt animals - my husbands family are all fundamental Christians who like to hunt and to me it is profoundly wrong to hunt an animal unless you are needing food and cannot get anything anywhere else.
These are some of things I experience amongst many others. The only thing I disagreed with on the articles about Empaths, that I have read was about antiques. I like antiques and have always enjoyed looking around antique stores and finding old books, unique things etc and this has not really bothered me, as I am very nostalgic and long really to be in a different time and place. The 1940's England would have been an era I would have felt more comfortable in or going back a few hundred years. I feel that today there is a lot of negative influences and things going on in the world that I can't relate to or dislike and that I try to get away from.
Thanks for listening, I rambled on a bit more than I was going to.
updated by @lindseyann: 01/20/17 12:47:39AM