Passed my Expiration Date
I think I am done!
I just can't deal with the anger and pain in this world anymore. I feel it all too much. More & more less & less makes sense. Everything seems so primative. I have removed myself from as much as I can. Even family are hard maybe even harder to endure. I don't understand life choices and values. Life in general seems pointless. I mean really, why? What purpose does it serve. Every aspect of human life seems so primal. Human functioning is becoming hard to relate to. I have filled my life with caring and sharing, achievements and accomplishments. I have been a good helpful person. I just feel like I have done all I can do.
I can't perceive what could be next but this just isn't it
I never felt like I belonged here. I used to think maybe I was some alien dropped off in the wrong place. LOL
I don't know if all this was enhanced by being tossed into a paranormal world I had never believed in and still don't understand. I don't know if it is because of excelerated unexplained failing health or the failing health is caused by a paranormal force. I am driven to explore but held back by a feeling of a less than trustful presence I can not be rid of and even with currently being on the upper end of the power struggle it's still incorporated into my life. It is a viewable matrix that surrounds
I was ignorant to "Empathic" most of my life. I thought everyone had the same feelings as I did and couldn't understand why others were not relating.
Fibromyalgia finally explained so much of health problems from earlier on and I embraced it; happy not to have to search for cures anymore. Although not connected I have lived with pain ever since I can remember starting with migranes and expanding. It wasn't until long after I was diagnosed that I realized that feeling some sort of pain constantly wasn't the norm. I still can't imagine what it would be like not to feel pain somewhere for even one day.