Forum Activity for @gigi-miner

Gigi Miner
@gigi-miner
09/12/17 12:39:53AM
7 posts

Please Take An Empath Poll...


Empath

I don't consider myself a night owl.  What is it when you need to go to sleep early but wake middle of the night?  

I only recently took to sleeping when my body wanted to sleep.  I've never slept well.  I dream all over the place.  Due to health issues, I get a few "quiet" hours upon first falling asleep...but once that wears off we're back at it again.  :)

Tossing & Turning is my norm.  My internal clock has its own idea of how sleep works.

Gigi Miner
@gigi-miner
10/04/15 01:34:41AM
7 posts

Am I going to be alone for the remainder of my life?


Empath

I am currently trying to rid myself of a covert narcissist. Seems empaths are quite susceptible to abuse, but especially we who were raised by similar personalities. I only say that to say to you, don't rush and don't worry. I'd much rather be alone than in a relationship that steals my energies and wounds my soul. It's easier to wait than to rid yourself of the damage that can be done in a bad relationship.

I understand the desire. Only too well. Maybe if you send out your wants you'll start getting some open doors that will lead you to where ever he may be. Just remember that you have a wonderful gift in your independence. Never settle - the aftermath is far too difficult and takes away a piece of you.

Gigi Miner
@gigi-miner
08/11/13 06:06:27AM
7 posts

What is your strongest connector?


Empath

I hear what you're saying about the eyes...but guess what? Very few will ever see in yours what you see in theirs. So no worries. I tend to stare, tho' I dont' realize it at the time. And it's because I'm looking thru the eyes and seeing whatever it is that I see. And, sometimes, I don't see anything because they don't want me to and I back off. You can do that...just look at their nose if you don't want to be rude and intrusive. And respect their need for privacy. Just because you see or know something doesnt' mean you have to tell them that you do. It's sort of like being a gracious host. You can only do so much to make someone comfortable - after that, it's up to them to either stay and relax or leave when they're ready. You're not going to put anything bad into them. If it worries you, that's when you start nose-looking. :)

Gigi Miner
@gigi-miner
06/19/13 03:47:34AM
7 posts



My first reaction is that it's not up to you to "Confront someone on what they're feeling". They have a right to their privacy. We forget that just because we have a gift does not give us the right to force it on anyone else.

Perhaps starting a conversation that is irrelevant to what you perceive and letting the other person gently slide into the subject would work better? It's their "stuff" and they should be allowed to address it or not as they see fit. That's not your job.

I understand you want validation, but you should not take it by force, so-to-speak. In this, we get to learn to be patient and allow the universe to show us in little dribbles. That's how you get to believe in yourself and use your gift. A full frontal usually is not well received, imho. Less trying to control and more acceptance will take you a long way. Not exactly easy, but none of this is easy. :)


updated by @gigi-miner: 01/21/17 08:07:32AM
Gigi Miner
@gigi-miner
04/10/13 08:17:40AM
7 posts

anybody else have this problem?


Empath

Addictive. Yep, let's go with that 'cause it's way good for our egos. :) The conflict is tough. Give yourself time to think thru the scenario multiple times and ways. I find that if I think about it long enough, a solution will present itself that is both kind to the other and easier for me to deal with because I am badly affected by any conflict as well.

Pausing to let some guidance come is always a good idea. We forget that we havea right to work things out inside ourselves before we share with someone else (if ever). Over developed sense of responsibility I guess.

And, yes, the loneliness is palatable. You won't find many of your kind IRL. You either take flawed humanity as it is, knowing that there won't be too many who will be able to give to you what you give to them, or you just separate. It's a rough road, but you can use your gifts to change how you walk the path.

I find getting off the main road (metaphorically or for real) works best...fewer people to bump into and deal with and the added benefit of some different perspectives.

Hang in there. This too shall pass. :)

Gigi Miner
@gigi-miner
04/09/13 06:22:01AM
7 posts

anybody else have this problem?


Empath

Why does it happen? I can only guess - that these people like how they feel in your energy and want more. Think of it like a drug. And it's human nature to manipulate the information for their own benefit. Wish I could say differently, but there are few...and I mean very, very few folks who will be able to separate their own desires from any truth in a situation.

Trust your gut. do what you feel is best for you and your own sense of honor. It is a lonely path when you walk it with integrity. Even fellow empaths will subconsciously try to control things. We're stuck in these vessels. You really have to take on some heavy self-awareness to side-step all the mess.

If you can use these moments to help those trying to use you to get them to see what they're doing, maybe that's part of the path. Most won't want to see the truth of their behavior, so be prepared for some ill-received behavior on their parts. But, one never knows if being a mirror might help another soul take a step forward.

Peace to you.

Gigi Miner
@gigi-miner
12/24/12 10:01:15AM
7 posts

Boundaries & Personal space


Empath

sparks - glad to be able to provide you with an "in tune" moment. We have so few of them. :)

Yes, fight or flight is rough. It's very much at play with us. And grace can be a tough one under such circumstances. You just want to run away.

My standard "no" goes something like, "Thank you..." or "I'm sorry..." "I'll think about that" or "I'm not comfortable with that right now." I try to lean toward the thinking for the sake of others, but then there's that weight of knowing you have to deal with things in future tense...so usually, I just can't do that right now is how I go. or simply, "no thank you". Most people are so shocked by those words they don't often know what to say.

Thanks bluemoon for answering the question. :)

Gigi Miner
@gigi-miner
12/21/12 05:36:59AM
7 posts

Boundaries & Personal space


Empath

Thanks, all. It can be all of those things and more. One example, if someone pushes their way into contact with me without my permission...that can be by touching or by showing up unannounced.

I'm all for helping others and do put my own comfort on hold when I can for someone else. But there are times when people who know better try to push me into a situation they want and if I have not agreed to it, it's violating.

Think manipulation or maybe just pushiness that I guess for "normals" isn't all that noticable. For me, it's very disconcerting. and yes, sometimes the blocking needs to be done and I suck at it. I've taken to asking my guardians to attend to it since I seem unable to keep up any kind of energy field.

My husband, my cats...they have free reign. But in a way they've already been given permission to get in close to me any time they want. It's when others insist on coming into my space uninvited that it gets me.

I've always kept a space between me and anyone else. If they open the space, initiate contact (in whatever form that takes) then I choose whether to give them what they need or if it's not something I can do. And I know to most this will seem an over reaction - but I think too many don't respect the other's physical, emotional, spiritual space and violate them because "it doesn't make sense" to them.

If I were describing a man putting his hands on certain areas of my body, the reaction would be intense and very much predictable. But when its subtle and not as obvious, we tend to overlook it and not think of it as violating the other person. imho.

Gigi Miner
@gigi-miner
12/19/12 04:29:14AM
7 posts

Boundaries & Personal space


Empath

I'm an HSP and an empath. So, maybe this isn't going to gel with as many but I have a question.

How do you establish your boundaries? How do you make it clear to non-empaths/hsps that there is a line and they do not get to cross it uninvited? I've had this problem most of my life and I've made the adjustments assuming since I'm the odd one out that I need to alter my life to fit the world.

Yesterday, I got the message that I do not need to do this. The line exists because I get to establish it. It is crossed when whatever it is makes me feel uncomfortable.

I get to have my safe space and no one gets to cross it withoutpermission. That seems simple enough. But there are so many who don't understand that line, that space bubble.

How do you all deal with such things?


updated by @gigi-miner: 05/16/17 05:41:38PM
Gigi Miner
@gigi-miner
07/26/12 12:13:42PM
7 posts

I have a question


Library of Light

Basically, and I'm sure someone else can give a much better explaination than I, we use our gifts to feel the other person and help them understand what's going on in their life. It's really just tuning in and sharing what you sense.

Gigi Miner
@gigi-miner
05/26/12 12:16:20PM
7 posts



I feel for you. First, take all the advice you can get and then leave it all. You'll have to work out what helps you since it seems to vary from person to person. Don't let it get you down if a few things you try don't seem to work.

If you can get away, splashing water seems to help. If you can't get away, talking to yourself as inconspicuously as possible and telling yourself that "you're okay", "you're doing well", anything positive as I saw already posted. Sip water if you can. Sing to yourself. Again, all this is only helpful if you find it will work for you...and if you can do it without feeling like everyone's watching you while you do it.

Mundane things are good...at home I find that brushing my hair, teeth, something totally routine helps bring me back a little. So, if you can fiddle with an object you have with you, examine it, maybe a worry stone? I wear a lavendar jade pendant quite often when I go out and I'll touch it and run my fingers over the carving.

Unfortunately in my own case, if I'm going, I'm not getting back easily. When I drive I sing to a CD. When out in public I prepare myself by thinking about it before hand and finding where the restrooms are immediately. If nothing else, it gives me a place to go to escape for a few minutes. I'll sit at the outside of a room rather than in the middle. so, get your back against a wall if you can. If you can find a locket to put some lavendar oil or something else soothing in it to smell, that's good. You want to activate anything that is other than the anxiety and stress.

Lots of things from everyone to try out. If you discover something that works for you that no one else mentioned, I hope you'll share. :)


updated by @gigi-miner: 01/21/17 07:44:15AM
Gigi Miner
@gigi-miner
04/22/12 04:35:24AM
7 posts



I have to agree with Anna. What you describe seems like energy vampires. At least on my path, as seems for Anna, this is violating another person. A big No-No in my book.


updated by @gigi-miner: 12/25/16 12:49:33PM
Gigi Miner
@gigi-miner
02/07/12 04:20:19AM
7 posts



For me, the first steps are/were just being. First, we need to get comfortable in our own skin and about what we are. That alone can take time. Reframing your life with this new knowledge helps too...for example, take a moment in your life that was traumatizing or memorable. Think about what you felt. Now, with the new understanding of who and what you are, rethink those moments and try to see yourself in a new light - hopefully a more understanding and kinder light.

There's no rush to DO anything. For a time, it's important that you just be and learn what that means for you. I find journaling works well for me to sort things out. Maybe for you, talking to friends or composing a song or...or... :)


updated by @gigi-miner: 01/05/17 10:45:55AM