God...the big question
God created this world with both destruction and evil and peace and love therefore I have concluded that God does not have any attachment to us in particular. Every day millions of lifeforms die and are born, and in ways that are evil, justified by justice or accidental. Right now most likely a child is being abused severely and traumatised. Somewhere else a child is being embraced in love. I personally appreciate the life God has given me and the lives of my loved ones, and the fact that I can experience love because God has created it, but I do not appreciate the disgusting injustice God allows. So, I am not sure if what I feel is hate toward God but I don't really like God, because of the predation God has made in nature.
I have experienced, and I am sure others on this forum have experienced future visions, synchronities, eerily lucky moments etc. but I have no idea if that points to some "fate" and even if it does, I do not know if this fate is "good" because it is bizarre to me that I could have a special fate when some toddler was wiped out for no good reason somewhere at some point this week. But I believe it is possible that this God is affected by our desires.
I believe there is a sort of "spiritual gravity" that changes reality to some extent, like in the concept of magick, emotion + intent creates manifestation. Which is to say "God" could be the ultimate expression of emotion, which is why there is hatred love malice and generosity abundant in this world, or rather this Universe.
I contemplate this stuff a lot because I want to understand, but I don't think God is sane by our standards, because God does not have a death. I believe we are all pieces of God, or rather that all that is, is an expression of God, aspects of God. And that ultimately and collectively God is only concerned with expressing aspects of itself in order to "experience", rather that is to experience despair, ecstasy, malice, envy, lust or righteousness. I believe the experience itself is the objective of God. If to be alive is to be biased in conduct and belief, then to be "God" is to be unbiased, unattached, apathetic, of no opinion. In which case, as Nietzsche put it, humanity evolves by becoming less of God, because by such a definition God is lifeless yet the provider of all life.
To survive, species kill each other or feed off of the produce of the earth, and essentially nature is either a battlefield or a utopia, though the latter is most often not the case. We are largely moulded by what is necessary to fulfill desires, and while survival can cost spiritual well being, the reverse can be true, or we may even die without a chance to protect ourselves. So to me a lot of words can describe God but a dualistic anomaly seems to be what God is.