Empaths & Divorce
Gem: I've always been connected to spirit and had that faith. I only realised I was an Empath during my awakening following a lot of trauma in my marriage 18months ago. However I diligently went to counselling to try to recover from my husbands porn addiction. At first it felt he was genuinely in recovery. I opened up to him again..then things felt wrong. My intuition was screaming via recurring dreams, a knowing, you all know how it goes. When someone repeatedly tells you that your instincts are wrong..then cries because 'he feels so bad he caused you this trauma you can't get over' you begin to doubt yourself and your sanity. Well my instincts have been proven right. He's been lying since around Feb. Its hard when one side if them seems/feels warm, caring, funny etc but then you see all the sordid & twisted dark side that is devoid of all feeling. Our 3yr old see's him as often as prior to kicking him out but keeps saying 'daddy's gone' 'I've lost daddy' he panics within minutes of him leaving for work after seeing him. He feels everything. I always knew little one had taken after me with all he feels & I don't know what to do. I can't explain adult things to him. No amount of explaining daddy will see you tomorrow helps because that's not what he means and I know that. I'm now having sever panic attacks (luckily little one hasn't witnessed them) but he sure as hell will feel it. How the hell do I get my Empath 3yr old & myself through this mess? I've smudged us & the house. I've asked our angles, teachers,spirits & guides to surround us & protect us. I've carried out Soul Realignment work on both of us, I've cleared us. What more can I do? Sorry for the rant and for those of you who may feel the pain reading this.
While you was still living with your husband and other than your instinct , did your ever see and shadows in the home? Dark or black shadows moving around the house, maybe at night? Maybe something out of the corner of your eyes but you ignored thinking it was nothing ?
I smug my house also but it seems to me, and after some research, smudging is like a lock on your door. A lock keeps only the honest criminals out and sometimes smudging only remove the less aggressive spirits. I have heard that some spirits and or entities can be stubborn.
I have a friend who's husband is addicted to porn, gambling and cheating on her. She has seen the shadows on her wall moving though the house and she is very religious and prays hard for him to stop. He is also a violent narcissist and she is afraid to leave him. I know, that sounds strange in the day and time but she is scared of him. Personally, no one can keep me anywhere I don't won't to be. I would put the fear of God and the universe up the side of his head with a ball bat but she isn't as fisty as me.
As much as I would like to think people with these problems like your husband and my friend husband have, something evil or low energy has either attached or has entered their body and is in control , I think sometimes they are just bad seeds.
My friends husband has befriended his demons and doesn't won't them to leave. It's become a game to keep secrets, lies, infidelity (I consider porn watching a secret infidelity but that's just me) gamble. she has notice is he's not gambling he is cheating and if he's not doing them two he's watching porn. He will not pull away from that thrill for anyone or any thing. She tells me she has put it in Gods hands and he will take care of it. I tell her God has taken care of it, He has...he put Louisville Sluggers bats on sale at Walmart. In prayer, when you ask God or your higher power or powers to "fix" a situation, that don't mean your going to like the fix, just that the doors of opportunity will open, He/they seldom pushes you though.
I'd often wake in the night (husband was a sleep talker) I'd wake feeling he was being unfaithful then not be able to get back to sleep. I've not been on here a day or two because I had a huge panic attack and actually passed out at my therapy session. It's weird but since then I feel I've moved from anger/rage to deep grief & I can't stop crying..I'm crying now.
He asked for a Soul Realignment reading but I told him I didn't feel able to do his. I did my own & my boys but didn't feel able to be grounded enough to do his (plus he's never professed to believe in spiritual matters much so I was dubious).
Anyway the lady who did it, delivered his reading yesterday & it was spot on right down to his controlling parents & damage they caused him. Apparently he's travelling to negative astrals both at night & in the day which accounts for his zoning out so often. He had a negative guide running a program of despair. Lots of negative stuff which has all been cleared but as all of us here know...clearing is only part of it...new conscious choices have to be made.
I don't know if I'm supposed to help him, leave him or what. I don't feel I can trust him ever again - yet this reading confirmed things I suspected. My therapist actually called me an empath which surprised me (her being a traditionally trained trauma specialist) she keeps identifying emotional transference where I'm processing emotions that should be his. She calls me a 'rescuer'.
You know I thought I had my Empath skills under control, seems I did with most everyone but him. I suppose that's common in husband & wife relationships. I think I need to start cutting cords more regularly.