Exploring Who I am
Since I became an empath and embraced it.I have noticed I am a completely different person then I used to be.I feel like the things I did like were impressions from other people.Same about what I hated.Mainly what I hated.Like I used to like dresses but I never wore them.Now I love them and get every chance to wear them.Winter is coming and I am literally trying to wear a sweater dress with tights for most of that season.Easy to get on easy to get off....
It's like I am exploring who I am.Like for awhile when I was intermediate emotionally overwhelmed empath I didn't know what I like.I didn't have any hobbies, and I didn't know why.It's like I went through a transition strange of hating everything I actually liked because of the people around me.I loved to sing but I hated my voice and couldn't fine it.My ex was a singer and made me insecure about it.Now I just love love to sing and listen to music.The classics of course more soul.
Also I found a group Nightwish their songs from their new singer is hypnotic like a siren song.I have been wondering what it means.I don't even really like the group but her voice draws me in.
It's like an awakening of who I am I feel closer to my soul like I am one step from being who I should be.Like a calling my mission in life.I still don't know what that is,but I know I want to help people.
I had a dream and the word empath came up and watchers.It was very positive.I felt half aware and half asleep.It was weird although the watchers came up again.I don't know what it means.
I just want to know it all.I want to harness my abilities like and angel and a demon.I know bad but that's how I feel.Also I have wondered whenever I feel attacked by and unknown force or emotions I go on the defense.I go into attack mode I don't know why.I have wondered if it is normal for an empath to do that.I just get rid of all the spirits in the room.I don't try to talk to them.I have been tricked before.Now I feel like maybe I should help them instead of turning them into positive energy.Like my intentions are good and I am almost there but I am lost because I am going this all alone.The way I was taught by bad spirits.I have a new spiritual guide very good and he says I should be more trusting and let in the light.I shouldn't jump to conclusions like everyone and everything wants to hurt me.It's hard because I have been there where everyone was using me and taking me for everything.I went on the defense I was the taker.I need to return to being a giver.My body and mind are there,but my soul is still raw.
I control emotion and honestly if it's really bad and I know someone wants to harm me with it.I bring it back to the person.I know bad I should turn it into positivity or ground it but I wasn't trained like that I was taught that.I feel like I am not good enough to be an empath.A better person deserves this gift.I always wanted to be different but sometimes I just want to be normal.Or at least have someone who understands me right here.Not a spirits not a person online.A physical being right there guiding me.I am good at being an empath but I want to be a better me first.
I love this site and I hate it.I can't hide myself from any of you yet I need you.You feel everything through the screen all the emotions the lies the truth the pain.You understand like no one else can because you have been through or are going through what I am.I need that we all do.
updated by @soralei: 02/03/17 03:36:07PM