Forum Activity for @enfp20

Enfp20
@enfp20
11/26/15 01:41:06PM
24 posts

Am I being to sensitive?


Empath

You are absolutely right. I often have to remind myself to give as much detail as possible when communicating to her. She requires instructions similar to a computer programming language. When I do this, she gets so happy and is eager to complete the task because she has no doubt that she may make a mistake. She actually smiles and hustles to help. I need to have a visual aid to remind me of this. Thank you so much Lily!
Enfp20
@enfp20
11/24/15 11:01:33PM
24 posts

Being such a sensitive empath, leading to addiction


Empath

I have been drinking since 14 years old. I did not do many drugs as a teenager into my early 20's. After an emotional break up, I starting going to a particular underground house music club where ousted mdma/ecstasy every weekend for about 5 years. This phase completely changed me. This is when I was awakened. My social anxiety reduced, I stopped caring what others thought, I allowed my harried emotions to one out.Currently I am using harder drugs, they medicate me, calm me down, allow me focus. I have in this phase of my life for 2 years now. if anyone knew, they would label me an addict. Truthfully, substances help me cope with everyday emotions.
Enfp20
@enfp20
11/24/15 10:36:48PM
24 posts

Am I being to sensitive?


Empath

Thanks I'll do that. I'm a YouTube addict. I constantly watch videos on relationships, mental illness, inspiration videos, educational, spiritual...My favourites are Ralph Smart "Infinite Waters Diving Deep" and Leo from actualized.orgAbout NT, it usually dawns on me a few minutes after an incident to not take her words or actions so personally. However, I'm still hurt by the energy she gives off during these times
Enfp20
@enfp20
11/24/15 01:59:20AM
24 posts

Am I being to sensitive?


Empath

Hi Sandie, thanks for your response. I completely see how your impression seems logical. The most difficult aspect of the situation is that, although it feels this way to me as well, the fact is that her actions and words are interpreted differently in her mind compared to the general population as strange as it sounds. She honestly believes she was only trying to help in the second example and since she could not physically help with the move, so her presence was unnecessary. NT sees the world in a unique way. Her perspective differs from the masses. Let's assume what I just said is true. In this case, I'm seeking help from the community to suggest methods I can implement to reduce the pain for me, understanding NT does not intentionally mean to hurt me.I do not feel right removing myself from this relationship as I care for her, and she truly feels the same. I have tried many ways to communicate how her actions and words make me feel, but unfortunately she simply does not understand why I feel this way. It's extremely complex and hard for others to get it. I don't blame people for not getting it, more reason for my frustration and pain. I pride myself in being able to communicate clearly by quickly understanding how someone thinks and how to phrase my language tailored to the listeners learning style. So far I have failed to execute this with NT also failed to explain our situation to those I reach out to.Peace and love from enfp20
Enfp20
@enfp20
11/22/15 03:05:47PM
24 posts

Am I being to sensitive?


Empath

This is where my confusion kicks in. NT is an undiagnosed Adult Aspy, if you learn about the symptoms of Aspergers or ASD, they have difficulty understanding emotions of others, lack mindfulness, suffer great social anxiety, cannot see things through the eyes of others. As a result, NT true lily did not understand what she did wrong. She truly cares about me, but she does not understand my emotions. I cannot blame her since she simply does not think or see the world as the general public does. When she feels shame, guilty, or feels dumb for not understanding, her instinctive response is anger and frustration. She constantly justifies her actions not realizing this only helps her. I know the caring girl that she is, I'm simply struggling to communicate how her actions hurt me and most of all why her actions hurt me.Over time I've learned the best method for her to relate to my concerns is to feel the emotions herself. I just find it hard to intentionally make her feel the pain I feel simply so I may benefit. Her whole life she has been mislabelled as being selfish, a narcissist, or heartless when non of this is true. I cannot abandon her for actions out of her control, even though she is an emotional vampire unintentionally. I'm emotionally drained but daily try new ways for our relationship to become healthy. I don't know if this is even possible, it's killing me but I just can't give up on us due to all we have been through together. She was there when family and my 'real' friends simply stopped caring about my hardships, but chose to villianized me instead.
Enfp20
@enfp20
11/22/15 08:04:49AM
24 posts

Am I being to sensitive?


Empath

The closest person to me at this point of my life (NT) seems to display symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder. She is in her early 30's but never diagnosed. Honestly, it has been very challenging for us to go a day without negativity, regardless, I care for her very much. I choose not to focus the discussion about her, rather my reaction to 2 of her actions today that really hurt and confuse me.

I was forced to move my belongings out of storage due to financial concerns. I have troubles asking others for help, especially lately as I have isolated myself from my friends and family for nearly 2 years. NT is the only person I feel comfortable asking to help/keep me company during the move.

  1. NT and I completed the move of the minor/light weight items. I was faced with moving heavy items (bar, poker table, glass/mirrors, coffee table, etc) I asked NT to just provide moral support as I would not want her to hurt herself to move some meaningless 'things'. After 4 hours of driving/moving, I was mentally and physically drained as I started to do the heavy work. Suddenly, NT recieves a personal phone call, and decides to attend to her business. I communicated that I would love for her to stay to keep me alert, but ultimatly the decision was hers to stay or go. I lied and said i'll be fine on my own. When she decided to leave, I literally was alone. I became extremely sad and overwhelmed with emotions as I stared into my storage stall. I know in my heart, if the roles were reversed, there is no way I would have lefther under these circumstances. I reached out to one other person, but was denied do to his obligations to attend a party... anyways.
  2. After the move, exhausted, I visited NT's place. Infact, both of us were really tired. I started working on a mini project sitting on the floor next to her bed as she was sitting on the bed, and somehow managed to get small pieces of glass in both eyes. I panicked a little, and excitedly asked NT to get me the spray water bottle that's always in her room. With blurred vision, I noticed her typical facial expression which translates as "I'm comfortable in my spot on the bed, and I really do not want to get off of it for anyone or anything". I became agitated by this, she then raises her voice and claims the spray water bottle is empty anyways (I knew this was not true because over the last 1 year 8 months, that thing has been filled up by her the minute it runs low). Meanwhile, I'm struggling to splash water into my eyes with the water bottle near me. I can feel the glass in both eyes and quickly splashing as much water into them as I can. NT jumps out of her bed about 15 seconds after I first asked for her help. She brings me the water bottle (full to the tits by the way) thenangrilyinsists I rinse my eyes in the bathroom. She must not have been aware that I was temporarily blind at this moment and would not be able to find my own penis let alone the bathroom. I had managed to wash out the glass for those who may have become concerned. This morning when we had a minor disagreement, I pointed out that I noticed her suck her teeth when I asked for the spray bottle as I cried out in fear. I told her I knew she hesitated because she did not want to get up off of her bed to walk 8 feet. To this she became defensive, "big deal, it took me a whole 2 seconds to get it for you. You should acknowledge and thank me for getting the bottle for you, not get mad at me for notimmediatelyget it.


Perhaps the community's feedback will better resonate with her. Or perhaps the community's opinion is that I am being too sensitive???


updated by @enfp20: 01/31/17 05:52:00PM
Enfp20
@enfp20
10/06/15 09:57:20PM
24 posts

XX:20


Empath

Sorry for its length. I just copy pasted from her site.
It is about 90-95% accurate describing me.PS: I was born Feb 4
Enfp20
@enfp20
10/06/15 09:55:50PM
24 posts

XX:20


Empath

NUMBER 2NUMBER 2ATTRIBUTES OF THE NUMBER 2Anti-thesis, dilemmas, ambivalence, polarity, good/bad, either/or, joy/sorrow, love/hate, rich/poor, ability to feel and use emotions, balanced judgement through intuitive awareness.Positive Traits:Diplomat, friend, artist, enduring peacemaker, gentle, kind, charming, insightful, sensitive, team-player, ambitious, spiritual, well-mannered, placid, just, unselfish, harmonious, sociable, supportive, attention to detail, co-operative, decisive, poise, intuitive, adaptable, agreeable, cautious, considerate, emotional, flexible, loving, understanding, consideration, grace, devotion, the subconscious, balance, mediation.Number 2 relates to pursuing your life purpose and soul mission.Relates to:The Moon Tarot CardThe High Priestess Tarot CardMondayColours: Orange and BlueCharacter:The silent-knower, calm, just, intuitively aware, social, peace-maker.Negative traits:Irresolute, indifferent, unable to take responsibility, fearful, weak-willed, submissive, pessimistic, dependent, indecisiveness, hesitation, indecisiveness, lack of balance, unsteady, unstable, insensitive, inflexible, disagreeable, stagnant, inconsiderate, unemotional, unloving, fears making mistakes, fears unplanned change, fears being alone, fear of the unknown.*The number 2 vibration is considered feminine and extrovert and relates to the star sign Cancer. The ruling planet of 2 is the Moon. The High Priestess Tarot card is symbolic of the energy of the number 2.The number 2 signifies duality - positive/negative, male/female, day/night, black/white, yin/yang. The number 2 symbolizes the principle of coming together with another, and people with this vibration are interested in partnerships of all kinds.Number 2 brings in the balance of energies so that the individual is not controlled by matter in the material world. 2 is the vibration and energy of balance, peace and diplomacy, intuition, emotion and sensitivity. This sensitivity allows a person with the 2 vibration the inner-strength to support their own goals, and to bring harmony into their lives. They are considerate of others although this consideration is sometimes interpreted as 'weakness' by others.Ultimately, a person influenced by the 2 vibration must always be true to themselves they must live their truths in order to feel authentic. Within this, they are also called upon to nurture and support others. The goal is to bring peace, harmony and balance to these experiences, and this will take tolerance, patience, co-operation and sensitivity particularly to the needs of others. The 2 energy is artistic, shy, thorough, analytical and magnetic.The number 2 signifies that a person is generally supportive and that issues of intimacy and diplomacy are at work. They are able to view issues from all angles and the 2 person is very aware of others' needs as well as their own. They strive to demonstrate friendliness, understanding and tact. The 2 person is very loyal, so when they say that they love you they mean it.The 2 energy is caring and loving, however, they are also sensitive and may have trouble with their self-esteem. They like lots of friends around them and any quarrelling is very upsetting for them.Nature, beauty and the nicer things in life are necessities for the 2 energy to feel harmonious. They are aware of the small niceties in life and will create these things for others.Groups, organisations, clubs and the companionship of others are necessary so that the 2 vibration can support and take care of them, and also so they feel that they are a special part of something. They like to make others happy, but must remember to look after themselves first. The person with the 2 vibration prominent in their life plays the role of the 'peacemaker behind the scenes', and this gives them an excellent diplomatic ability. Balance and equilibrium are the focus is everything for the 2 vibration, and their greatest success comes through playing a supportive role and becoming the mediator. In the relationship/marriage sphere, 2 energy people need a partner who appreciates this quality. The 2 person can, however, have a very painful relationship with a partner who is too dependent.People working on the negative aspects of the 2 energy are very indecisive and can become physically ill when having to make decisions on the physical level. hey can become so dependent that they won't attempt anything on their own and cannot tolerate their own company for very long. They will also use emotional blackmail to manipulate others. Some accumulate material wealth obsessively in an attempt to cover their feelings of inadequacy. They are often extremely difficult to live with.Negatively, they can be indecisive, pessimistic and live in a fantasy world. If a 2 person feels threatened or pushed to the wall they become the 'Terrible 2's'. Ultimately though, the 2 vibration avoids conflict where it can.Opportunities present themselves everywhere for the person with the 2 energy. Unfortunately, self-confidence is the hurdle (or test) for them to overcome to fully succeed. They must be aware not to fall into indecision for the fear of what others may say or think, as this leads to over-concern, worry and dependency.The 2 energy can be very charming and refined and is always is a gracious host. They are usually well liked by all and are an asset in friendships and relationships of all kinds. The 2 vibration has a desire for cleanliness, order and exactness in their nature, and because of this they must be careful not to become a 'nit-picker'. The 2 energy person likes to collect lots of things facts, figures and material things.The nature of someone with the 2 vibration is usually quietness. They seem to have a smooth sense of timing in life and this gives them peace and harmony at all times, which they share with others. Of their own free-will, they use tact, caution and discretion. By becoming the peacemakers they will heal many wounds of pride. These people will cultivate a peaceful co-existence and are constructive workers in the world. They are excellent observers and are drawn to anything regarding psychic ability and may often experience dj vu. They are also prone to prophetic dreams and are in touch with their intuition and the metaphysical side of life.NUMBERS ADDING TO 220 / 2 - The 20 / 2 energy can be a very negative vibration and can have a desperate need for security and companionship. This may, however, push a person into a hasty, ill-advised marriage. This person can have several emotional affairs, each being accompanied by heartache and failure - depending on the personality. The 2 will sometimes feel a sorrow that they dont understand, and it is simply the Spirit recollection of separation and a longing to return to unity. The 20/2 has spiritual insight and enlightenment.11 / 2 - The 11/2 is the 'Spiritual Light Messenger and Teacher, and are concerned with detail, and with others. They are a loving energy, with the powers of the Master Number 11 combined with the natural balance and beauty of the 2 vibration.29 / 11 / 2 - The words 'light' and 'wisdom' vibrate to 29/11/2. This number represents spiritual power, psychic abilities, inspiration and the insight to look beyond ordinary manifestations, and then use this wisdom and power for the fulfillment of others. These are very creative energies and can be implemented to achieve success in any inspirational, creative or business enterprise. They are a supportive energy with skills as the mediator and have the power to direct people. They are the 'Spiritual Light Messenger' and 'Teacher'.38 / 11 / 2 - The 38/11/2 vibrations can balance the Higher Consciousness and the lower energies, making them able to see different situations from different angles and perspectives. They are a supportive energy and bring balance to all situations. With the 11 Master Number, combined with the energies of the creative number 3, leadership of the number 8, plus the natural balance of the 2 energy, gives 38/11/2 people many positive qualities to work with. They too are the 'Spiritual Light Messengers' and 'Teachers'.47 / 11 / 2 - The 47/11/2 vibration are able to sustain their energy for as long as desired, giving them the capabilities to take on many tasks, successfully. They are a supportive energy and have brilliant mediator and balancing skills are love to work with others. Having the Master Number 11 energy, they are the 'Spiritual Light Messenger and Teacher'.56 / 11 / 2 - The 56/11/2 is an energy that often seeks freedom from service and responsibility, however, given the energies of number 11, these people are compelled to work on the behalf of others. Featuring the Master Number 11, this energy is the 'Spiritual Light Messenger' and 'Teacher'. The 56/11/2 represents duality and balance, and these people make wonderful mediators in all situations.74 / 11 / 2 - The 74/11/2 energy represents hidden treasures with honour and integrity. These people are supportive of others and feel a great need to work on behalf of the good of others. They are a brilliant mediator and use their sense of balance and discernment in all situations. Given the Master Number 11 energy in this number, people with these energies are the 'Spiritual Light Messengers' and 'Teachers'.2 DAY NUMBERSensitive, intuitive and passionate, you are more the 'power behind the throne', rather than the leader - unless your name begins with A, J or S, or you were born from October to January (then 'leadership' is part of your daily theme).In the science of Numerology, the 2 stands out as a very loving and harmonious vibration. 2 has a capacity to love deeply, sometimes more than they may want to.If the 2 vibration is in a relationship and it goes sour, and they vow to never love again, within days they find themselves getting hopeful as they have a strong romantic streak.2 DESTINYThe fate or destiny of the number 2 Destiny person is often fabled to be a life of slavish devotion to one particular person in a relationship that is so obsessive that they do not have time for much of anything else in their lives, including a career.To balance this vibration, when a 2 Destiny person realizes that they are prone to co-dependency within a relationship, they are able to combat this by making a conscious effort to develop their own individual personality.Positive CharacteristicsPeople born with the Destiny Number 2 are often skilled diplomats. They have a wonderful ability to compromise and negotiate.Those following a Number 2 Destiny Life Path tend to be diplomatic, sensitive individuals make great judges, mediators, lawyers counsellors or social workers as they bring harmony to all group situations.Number 2s are charming and considerate of others, which makes them popular. They tend to be peace-loving and are able to co-operate with others in order to maintain harmony in their lives.Number 2 people are often compassionate and caring with a strong sense of right and wrong. They tend to be selfless as they are focused on the greater good of all.It is very important for people with the 2 Destiny to get out and socialize with humanity.Your challenge is to confront, rather than avoid, difficult situations.Your purpose is to be a peacemaker.Negative Characteristics:Number 2's will naturally shy away from conflict, and this can result in issues not being resolved.People born with the Destiny Number 2 will often not fulfill their potential in their careers as they lack the motivation to pursue success even if they have the desire and the ability to succeed.Number 2s can lack confidence in themselves and their ideas, despite the respect of others. Self-doubt can often influence the actions of Number 2s, and they often do not act decisively.Number 2s should be wary of becoming pessimistic and cynical because this will hold them back unnecessarily.Relationships:Number 2s are committed and faithful to their partners and will expect the same in return. People born with the 2 Destiny Number will make every effort to ensure that their relationships are successful and will not be likely to make a break in any situation. For this reason, Number 2s should be wary of making a commitment to the wrong person and should consider a relationship seriously before settling down.Number 2's enjoy socializing and are generally well liked and are often noted for their sense of humour. Number 2's will find that they have many admirers, but should check their compatibility with a potential partner before becoming involved. Number 2s need security in their lives and should look for a partner who will provide this.Once a relationship, Number 2s are adaptable and open to change as long as they feel happy and secure within the relationship. Mutual respect and appreciation are of utmost importance to Number 2s in relationships. Without this, insecurity will begin to cast a shadow over them. Number 2s will react very badly to infidelity or betrayal of trust, and they may become bitter and jealous.Parenthood:Number 2 Destiny people, as parents, will ensure that their children are raised in a warm and loving environment. Their children will feel secure and supported by their parents, who will allow them freedom to develop independently but will always be there if needed. As the home is so important to Number 2's they will strive to create the most comfortable and secure home for their families.Number 2 parents should be honest with their children if there are domestic difficulties for they will feel inclined to try to cover up any difficulties to maintain the feeling of security and happiness. Children will be aware that they are being left out and may resent this.Home and Leisure:The home is an important place for Number 2s, and they will spend a great deal of time making the most of it. Many Number 2s have leisure interests related to the home, such as DIY, sewing, flower arranging, gardening and the like. Number 2s find a sense of reward from spending time on an activity that has tangible results.Number 2s enjoy socializing and will seldom find themselves short of invitations. People consider Number 2s to be good friends and will want to spend time with them.Number 2s are health-conscious and have an interest in alternative lifestyles. Many Number 2s are vegetarians and have an interest in aromatherapy, acupuncture, reflexology and the like.Career:The Number 2s temperament is well suited to the caring professions and they will often find themselves employed as social workers, doctors, nurses, carers etc. Success comes through using their gifts of teaching, healing and counselling abilities and musical and writing talents.Working for voluntary organizations will also appeal to Number 2s, who need to feel a sense of purpose in their work. Number 2s will settle well in careers where they feel they are benefiting others.Number 2s will not flourish in a competitive work environment as they will not respond well to wrangling and disputes. Number 2s who find themselves in such situations will become disillusioned and their motivation will evaporate.Colour:Destiny Number 2s will appreciate the colours orange and blue, with blue being a calming and soothing colour that reflects their personality.2 SOUL URGE / MOTIVATION NUMBERPeople with Motivation Number 2 usually do not have any desire to take the lead or be in control; they would prefer to follow others.Motivation Number 2 people desire harmony and balance in their lives, and they achieve this through negotiation and compromise at which they are extremely skilled. They need to be able to get on with other people and they prefer to avoid conflict and competition in their lives. People with Motivation Number 2 are easy-going individuals who are well-liked, but are occasionally taken advantage of.Your soul urge is to be admired and loved by all. The height of personal gratification for you is to be desired by a special someone. You have an enormous faith in other people and if they do let you down you tend to behave as if is the end of the world.One of your soul challenges is to realize that only God is perfect and others are not god-like in their actions.2 LIFE CHALLENGEThe challenges presented for a number 2 are oversensitivity and a tendency towards self-centeredness.They are to overcome their self-consciousness and fears of both the known and the unknown, and must learn not to hesitate.In your early years your lack of ambition, status consciousness and need for approval from others may cause you to have a poor self image.In adult life 2's are very prone to co-dependency, addiction and troubled relationships if they cannot learn to let go of their resentments and blame.2 INNER-SELF / KARMIC NUMBERPeople with the number 2 as their Inner-Self or Karmic Number seem to want to not be noticed and often make an effort to merge in with the background. They seem to be uncomfortable if they are the centre of attention. They want to avoid conflict and they project an image of being a diplomat and negotiator who seems to be able to find a compromise in any situation. They are approachable and friendly and willing to listen, and seem to be warm and comforting people who are trustworthy and reliable.2 EXPRESSION / PERSONALITY- The MediatorPeople with the Expression Number 2 are friendly and approachable in their interaction with other people. They are tactful and diplomatic individuals who are able to co-operate well with other people. They have valuable negotiating skills and are able to find ways in which to achieve compromise. They enjoy peaceful surroundings and often have an appreciation of the arts. They are sympathetic towards others and appreciate the support of others in return.People with the Expression Number 2 can also be indecisive and are sometimes guilty of dishonesty. In their attempts to keep the peace they will sometimes fail to tell the whole truth.The 2 Expression/Personality Number tells of one who is compliant with others, and who would prefer for things to run smoothly within all relationships and interactions with others. 2 gives the energy of balance and finding harmony, so with the number 2 as an Expression or Personality number, you would be inclined to be a friendly, approachable person, who takes others into consideration. The 2 Expression/Personality number denotes a person who likes everything to be fair and is compassionate towards those less fortunate. The 2 is a 'loving' energy.The number 2 denotes duality in all things, and within this context you would be able to swing from 'positive' to 'negative' very quickly, depending upon the mood.You express yourself best by relating to others. You are a diplomat and a peacemaker. Socially you make so many friends that you often develop the capability to pull strings behind the scenes. You work best in a team and success in general for you is often about "who you know." You also do well when you ally yourself with a person who is much more powerful than you.As you are so modest sometimes one of your challenges is to accept credit for your work.2 KARMIC LESSONSThe challenges and Karmic Lessons presented for the number 2 are oversensitivity and a tendency towards self-centeredness. It may be difficult for you to realize that you are not the centre of the Universe. This is one of your life lessons.In your early years your lack of ambition, status-consciousness and need for approval from others may cause you to have a poor self-image.In adult life 2s are very prone to co-dependency, addiction and troubled relationships if they cannot learn to let go of their resentments and blame.2 CAREER OPPORTUNITIESArtists, technician, psychologist, spouse, healer, accountant/bookkeeper, co-ordinator, diplomat, banker/finances, radio, computers IT, dancer, dance instructor, secretary, hostess, designer.2 PERSONAL YEARThis is a year during which the seeds of change you have planted during a Year 1 cycle start to grow. Ideas or attempts to change can be compared to seeds that are nurtured in darkness and just pushing their tendrils up through the soil.A 2 Personal Year is all about patience. It is a year that you should spend finding new allies and kindred spirits and making any necessary personal changes that might be acting as obstacles to your success. Many people find the year 2 to be challenging as it is often filled with obstacles and delays, but by the end of the year any trials you experience will only refine your best qualities.This is a year to find great love. If you are in a relationship, find ways to intensify the romance. If you are not happy, it is the year to end it. Love in all its aspects is key here. If you do not already support a charity or work for the betterment of the planet, begin to do so this year.The 2 Personal Year is one of tact, diplomacy and details. You will have the opportunity to work out the finer details of projects which were started (or plannd) in the previous year. Patience and tolerance will be needed in everything you do. Things will come to fruition if you are quiet and receptive, keeping in mind that it takes time for things to come to maturity and fulfillment.In this 2 year, you are asked to not walk away from the plans you began last year, as they will come to fruition next year, your 3 Personal Year. Your test here is to remain patient and to nurture and build your own plans. It will be well worth your while.Patience, tolerance, endurance and consideration for others are all attributes to be learned during this year. Spiritual development is a feature of the 2 Personal year, and cultivation of spiritual awareness brings inner-peace. This will be extremely important to you throughout this year.The 2 Personal Year will be a busy one with endless demands on your time and energy. It is a year of promises, even if they are not to be fulfilled just yet. Keep a cheerful and positive attitude and enjoy working with others. By the end of this year you will realize that a big need or problem has been adjusted to your satisfaction.A Personal Year 2 it is not about having a fun or frivolous time but is about nurturing ideas that are still in their youthful stage. It is also about waiting for the right time to act. In essence a year 2 is all about timing - good timing and bad timing.This year requires cooperation, patience and continued development of what you began last year. Time is needed to put everything into motion. Continue to focus on your motivations and step by step progress so that what you began last year can further develop.Relationships are also an area of focus throughout the year.2 DESTINY IN A 2 PERSONAL YEAR2 Destiny people in a 2 Personal Year will find an increased level of psychic awareness during this year, as the emphasis shifts from the physical and material, to the spiritual.2 IDEAL GIFTSThe 2 person loves sensual gifts. Men will appreciate aftershave, pure cotton underwear, a foot spa or a voucher for a massage. Women like satin sheets, sexy lingerie, romantic novels, good quality cookware, their favourite perfume or a voucher for the beauty salon. Tickets for a show or sporting even and family pictures enlarged and framed go down well with both sexes.2 FEBRUARYFebruary breaks down to the number 2. In the science of Numerology the 2 stands out as a very loving and harmonious vibration.The month of February is a month for the possibility of great love, and we all know Valentine's Day falls in the month of February, but oddly enough this day for lovers can go either way. Some women have a wonderful Valentine's Day because their partner did everything perfectly: flowers, chocolate, dinner, romance. Unfortunately, some people think it is simply a commercial holiday and don't want to participate at all. That is where a painful letdown can begin. It is no accident that Valentine's Day is on the 14th: 1 + 4 = 5, as the number 5 promotes unnecessary drama. The 5 is a master at enjoying and celebrating life, but the fun and games can spiral into the chaos of a soap opera.In the month of February make that special person in your life feel extra special. This goes for both men and women. Do get the card that makes them realize how important they are to you, do get the flowers; make the effort for the dinner. Even if you have been married for years and years, do something significant in the month of 2 to celebrate the love in your life.If you are single, get a group of friends together and go out to dinner and have fun celebrating your friendship. If it is the family, take the whole family out and make the family feel loved. This is the month to make an effort to let the people in your life know that you love them. February is a good month to let bygones be bygones and let go of old hurts and angers.Trust your intuition and go with your instincts about the people in your life,and you will tend to be correct. This is also true if you are in a situation that feels wrong, (you know it's wrong), leave the situation; do not double think it, leave the way open for better things to enter your life.THE LETTERS B, K and T = 2BB is the numerical equivalent of the number 2 and represents the emotions.A person with a B initial is friendly and is generally a homebody.On the negative side, B can be self-absorbed and a bit greedy at times.KK is the numerical equivalent of 2 and represents a person that goes to extremes. With K as your initial you must look for balance and harmony in all that you do.People with K as their first initial are strong-willed and influential.Negatively, Ks can be dissatisfied with life and often take their discontent out on others.TThe letter T is the numerical equivalent of the number 2 and represents growth.A person with T as their first initial is generally a restless person who often seeks answers to spiritual questions.Negatively, T can be overly emotional, indecisive and is often easily influenced by the opinions of others.2 NAME NUMBER2 Positive Attributes:Diplomat, friend, artist, enduring peacemaker, gentle, kind, charming, insightful, sensitive, team-player, ambitious, spiritual, well-mannered, placid, just, unselfish, harmonious, sociable, supportive, attention to detail, co-operative, decisive, poise, intuitive, adaptable, agreeable, cautious, considerate, emotional, flexible, loving, understanding, consideration, grace, devotion, the subconscious, balance, mediation.The mediator, peacemaker and the helper, you have the ability to work well with other people as you are co-operative, courteous and a very considerate individual. In many ways you are dependent on others an seem to function best in a partnership or in some form of group activity. You have a tendency to be able to sense the feelings of others, with the knack to be able to demonstrate certain mediation skills when handling complicated situations. You know how to organize and handle people with care and ease. Peace and harmony are of the utmost importance to you. You enjoy having a partner, and dislike being on your own for too long. A passionate lover, you are great at supporting others.2 Negative Attributes:Irresolute, indifferent, unable to take responsibility, fearful, weak-willed, submissive, pessimistic, dependent, indecisiveness, hesitation, indecisiveness, lack of balance, unsteady, unstable, insensitive, inflexible, disagreeable, stagnant, inconsiderate, unemotional, unloving, fears making mistakes, fears unplanned change, fears being alone, fear of the unknown.Too much of the 2 energy can tend to make you over-sensitive and easily hurt. You may exhibit signs of shyness and uncertainty. This could lead you to become indifferent and somewhat uninterested in the job at hand, leading to an inability to handle details hampering any way to resolve a situation successfully.*The silent-knower, calm, just, intuitively aware, social, peace-maker, number 2 brings in the balance of energies so that the individual with the name number of 2 is not controlled by matter in the material world. 2 is the vibration and energy of balance, peace and diplomacy, sensitivity, intuition and emotion. his sensitivity allows a person with the 2 vibration the inner-strength to support their own goals and to bring harmony into their own lives and into the lives of those around them.People with the number 2 as their name number are considerate and thoughtful of others although this consideration is sometimes interpreted as a 'weakness by others.Ultimately, a person influenced by the 2 vibration in their name must always be true to themselves they must live their truths in order to feel authentic. Within this, they are also called upon to nurture and support others. The goal is to bring peace, harmony and balance to all experiences and this will take tolerance, patience, co-operation and sensitivity particularly to the needs of others.The number 2 name signifies that a person is generally supportive and that issues of intimacy and diplomacy are at work within their lives. They are able to view issues from all angles. The 2 is very aware of others' needs as well as their own, and strive to demonstrate friendliness, understanding and tact. The 2 person is very loyal, so when they say that they love you they mean it. The 2 energy is artistic, shy, thorough and analytical. The 2 vibration is a very magnetic energy.The 2 name energy person is caring and loving, however they are also sensitive and may have trouble with their own self-esteem. They like lots of friends around them and any quarrelling is very upsetting for them. Nature, beauty and the nicer things in life are necessities for the 2 energy to feel harmonious. They are aware of the small niceties in life, and will create these things for others.Groups, organizations, clubs and the companionship of others are necessary so that the 2 vibration can support and take care of them, and also so they feel that they are a special part of something. They like to make others happy, but must remember to look after themselves first.The person with the 2 vibration as their name number holds the role of the 'peacemaker behind the scenes' and this gives them an excellent diplomatic ability. Balance and equilibrium are the focus is everything for the 2 vibration, and their greatest success comes through playing a supportive role and becoming the mediator. In the relationship/marriage sphere, 2 energy people need a partner who appreciates this quality. The 2 person can, however, have a very painful relationship with a partner who is too dependent.Number 2 name people can be indecisive, pessimistic and live in a fantasy world and if a 2 person feels threatened or pushed to the wall, they become the 'Terrible 2's'. Ultimately though, the 2 name number person avoids conflict where they can.Opportunities present themselves everywhere for the person with the 2 as their name number energy. Unfortunately, self-confidence is the hurdle (or test) for them to overcome to enable them to fully succeed. They must be aware not to fall into indecision for the fear of what others may say or think, as this leads to over-concern, worry and dependency.The 2 name number person can be very charming and refined and is always is a gracious host. They are usually well liked by all and are an asset in friendships and relationships of all kinds. The 2 name number person has a desire for cleanliness, order and exactness in their nature, and because of this they must be careful not to become a 'nit-picker'. The 2 energy person likes to collect lots of things facts, figures and material things.The nature of someone with the 2 name vibration is usually quietness and they seem to have a smooth sense of timing in life, and this gives them peace and harmony at all times, which they share with others. Of their own free-will, they use tact, caution and discretion. By becoming the peacemakers they will heal many wounds of pride. These people will cultivate a peaceful co-existence and are constructive workers in the world. They are excellent observers and are drawn to anything regarding psychic ability and may often experience dj vu. They are also prone to prophetic dreams and are in touch with their intuition and the metaphysical side of life.Ideal Occupations for the Number 2 NameWorking as part of a team, counsellor, anything in the healing fields, business partner.KARMIC NAME NUMBER 2Loving yourself and taking care of yourself will enable you to love and take care of others in this lifetime without sacrificing your dignity and self-esteem.Practice letting go of such toxic emotional habits as possessiveness, jealousy and obsession.Your biggest fear is abandonment.Others' first impression of you may be that of a needy or manipulative individual.2 ADDRESSA number 2 house is sure to be a very homely, comfortable and attractive home, with nice unpretentious people who are willing to share their hospitality with others. The sympathetic influence of the number 2 gives an affinity and feeling for the mass of average people, and there is often a real sense of community spirit present in this house.The number 2 house is often decorated with comfortable, cosy and tasteful furnishings, and has a loving and warm atmosphere. The 2 house has simple, nurturing foods in their cupboards, and share this with others freely. here is seldom any sign of ostentation at a number 2 house.Often children living here may not be your own, but other peoples who are drawn to your place. A number 2 house is not a fixed, stable influence and there may be many changes and alterations affecting people in this house.The number 2 address inspires sensitivity, so compliment its energy with pinks, whites and creams.2 CAR REGISTRATIONDriving a car with the number 2 registration indicates that you will always give way to others whilst in this car, as this energy dislikes confrontation. The 2 car must always be kept clean and well maintained, otherwise it will 'play up'. This car is great for attracting good 'love vibe
Enfp20
@enfp20
10/05/15 10:12:03PM
24 posts

Negative energies


Empath

I've had a horrible past 2 weeks. Today was the climax where I got into a huge fight with the person I care for the most in the world

Enfp20
@enfp20
10/05/15 09:33:32PM
24 posts

XX:20


Empath

For about a year now, i've been seeing XX:20 on the clock, most times I look at it. It started with 4:20. I kept seeing it, but since, it's every other time. I'm not even exagerating. The person I spend most of my time with has started noticing it to. Everytime she's around me, her or I see 3:20, 12:20, 6:20...

Two days ago, I decided to leave a voice mail for my cuz who's wife is having a baby. I called to check on her status. Turns out his wife was in labour the same time I left the voice mail. My mother left me a voicemail letting me know they had a baby girl. The time of her message was 8:20am. I had left the voice mail at 6:20am when I looked back. My mom said they had the baby an hour ago...

Does anyone have any idea what this can mean?

My life has been really messed up the last year. I started seeing :20 around the time everything in my life went upside down.

You can read my profile intro post to read about what i'm going through atm.

Some say I just notice the time when it's xx:20, but it's more than that. It happens sooo often. I don't wear a watch and recently lost my cell phone, yet when I look at the clock, its almost always XX:20. I just peaked at my clock now, its 9:33.

It usually happens when i'm not thinking about the topic.

It is also the reason i have 20 at the end of my user name. ENFP is my personality type


updated by @enfp20: 04/22/17 01:06:12PM
Enfp20
@enfp20
09/25/15 07:57:59PM
24 posts

Good in small doses


Empath

Karen,

A rush of images just came to me, and it's really hard for me to not talk about them. I'm insanely persistent. I'm just afraid to phrase something that may offend, because I promise I do not intend to. This is my weakness, I don't have an off button once my mind gets going.

It scares people who meet me (old or new friends and family) when I finish their sentences, when I describe every thought that's in their mind but their too shy to speak up, When I show up with that item they were craving. When people spend a lot of time with me in public, they get a view of my world, the world where everyone seems to know me, well they act this way at least. The middle class, immigrants and authorities to the homeless and prostitutes seem to feel comfortable around me, often initiating conversation or just stare. I intern simply be myself, I don't follow the heard. I smile at people who seem intimidated by me or seem unhappy. I say out loud what people are feeling as they wait in line at McDonald's. I stick my tongue out to little kids and wave.

I believe communication is comprised of speech, body language, hygiene, the eyes, tone, rate of speech, volume, words chosen/words avoided, and the energy they give off. This along with spending time with someone to get a feel for their values, their personality, honesty, fears, desires, and regrets allows me to make quite accurate assumptions and interpret how they really feel or what they really think. Without all of these, I would not generalize, assume, or interpret ones psyche or true feelings. I simply wouldn't have enough information to base my conclusions upon. I crave information, i'm greatfull when i'm corrected or given advice that may help me. I become a more well rounded human being as a result.

I suddenly got the urge to break my rule in your case. I don't know why, but I think I know what makes you tick. Admittedly, I could be way off but none the less, here goes...

You have basically called me a liar twice with your responses. You imply that the words I use are hiding my true feelings. As if I need to fake my state of mind to the internet. You doubt the integrity of my posts. This is no shock to me, I've always been misunderstood. I have yet to meet someone who takes me for face value. I do and will always say how I feel and what's on my mind without apologize (with respect of course). My natural instinct is to trust people. I give them the benefit of the doubt until they have proven otherwise. If I have no reason to doubt their word, I will have faith in what they say. This faith is lost by subtle gestures that I pick up on and I somehow 'feel' when someone is fibbing. I tend to avoid calling them out, since all this would do is insult them or make them feel ashamed/guilty/embarrassed. There is nothing to gain from this, so just play dumb over little dishonesties. I would have to be betrayed or wrongfully accused to react, and when I react it's not pretty.

Forgive me if this is far from the truth, but I feel your responses to my posts are self serving rather than for my benefit. It seems as though identifying your gifts as an empath and your clairaudience has brought you great happiness. It has given you an identity that you may have lacked in the past. From my experience, those who interpret me as hiding my true feelings of unhappiness or low-self esteem are reflecting their own emotions. If you had been right about me actually being unhappy and in pain, your skills would be validated by those who have read our posts. I'm the oldest of 6 kids in our childhood household, my passion is creativity and knowledge. I believe I have a greater purpose in life, my goal is to identify this purpose, in the meantime, I'm exploring every avenue that spikes my interest. I think outside the box, I welcome information from all sources and welcome constructivecriticism. I do seem to attract 'broken' people, but when I do, I love thechallengeof making a positive impact ontheir life. Bringing a smile to someones face is the most rewarding gift of all. The philosophy I promote is positive thinking, self confidence, being humble, give rather than take, and defend those who cannot defend themselves. This last one must be due to my Sikh heritage. In reality, I don't have time to feel unhappy or in pain, I have naturally put the happiness of others ahead of my own. When I see my friends and family succeed in defeating their fears and achieving goals they never thought they could, a smile on their face is what will make me happy. It may sound corny, but its the truth. I don't even like being thanked, I'm happy to help anyone who I feel deserves it.

It's great that youhave found something that makes you happy and feel good, but please when it comes to me, don't expect me to feed your ego. I'm simply being real, this is how I feel. If it offends you then perhaps ask yourself if its possible that i'm right. If i'm wrong, then your theboundariesyou have established for yourself will not allow me toeffectyour emotions.

I choose to stop replying to anymore posts of yours Karen, nice to have gotten to know you. I want to speak with the responders who made me smile rather than someone who didn't.

ENFP20

Enfp20
@enfp20
09/25/15 05:34:43PM
24 posts

Good in small doses


Empath

If only you could meet me in person, you'd see why I confuse and frustrate people. Only they don't see my words, they see my circumstances. If they were in my shoes, they'd be in therapy, but the look at me without a care in the world. They don't get it because they could never handle the issues I face as I can.

I was always the popular guy in elementary and high school. We had little street gangs back then, I would always be appointed leader. I was too humble, so I would deny their request. My friends and I got into a lot of trouble, I attended 6 funerals by the time I was 21 all gang/drug related murders. I could have so easily chose the wrong path, all I had to do was say yes. But my parents raised me in a manner to have a limit to my craziness. I was an angry guy around my family. I despised authority. I think you get the picture...

I used to drink every weekend from age 14 to 30. Always for fun, socially, never to dull my emotions. I never understood why someone would drink if things were going bad for them. I drink to have fun, period. I still managed to finish my engineering degree despite my partying. Anyways, I had an anger, an attitude. I guess it was being the oldest of 6 kids whose parents moved to Canada from a small village in India. I was the first to have a gf, go to high school, drive a car, get a tattoo, etc. I learned that if I wanted to make it, I had to hide any signs of weakness and most of all my emotions. This was very difficult because I am highly emotional. I have always hidden them from everyone, in fear of looking weak.

My emotions are what brought on my anger and rage. I alienated a lot of people who were close to me. Yet I would be the coolest, chillest guy to people I just met. One day, I was having some beers with friends at a park in Vancouver. I excused myself and puffed my cigarette and drifted into a daydream. I started thinking about my youngest brother. I bullied him his whole life, I was really cruel to him. I was this way because he is stubborn, doesn't listen, blurts out gibberish, takes all advice as personal criticism, the only one who didn't like sports in our family. Instead he liked comics and toys. I know my bullying destroyed his self esteem. As I thought about this I burst out in tears. I was so sorry for doing this to him. I immediately called him to ask him what he was doing and that I loved him. I can hear in his voice that he was so happy to hear me say that because I had never said it to him before then.

My coping mechanism to hid my emotions was to block things out of my mind completely. Any thought that made me emotional was simply deleted. I couldn't look back or forward, I had to just live in the now. This is how i'm programmed. This is why my words may seem like i'm unhappy, but honestly, I don't think about anything that brings me feelings of guilt, sorrow, etc. I choose to only think about things that make me happy, or the project i'm currently working on (cars, woodworking, electronics, painting, CAD, etc). I guess I'm always into a project because it detracts me from real world issues I may be facing. I'm addicted to feeling good. I crave excitement for that Adrenalin rush.

Sorry, I tend to ramble as there is always soo much going through my mind, the images hop around every second. But the 'bad' images get filtered out.

Enfp20
@enfp20
09/24/15 09:49:26PM
24 posts

Good in small doses


Empath

I come in peace...I love a good debate, i'm glad you are strong enough to participate without your emotions interfering (hard for most from my experience). Like I said, for some reason I cant keep my emotions in check when I feel someone labels me incorrectly, especially if the characteristics of this label are things I strongly oppose. It reads like you compared me to your friend. I didn't think I was angry, simply pointing out how I differ.

I wear my emotions on my sleeve, I guess i'm transparent that way. I'm terrible with words and it's difficult for me to retain information when verbally communicated to me. I am a visual thinker and learner. My preferred method to communicate is through writing. This way I wont leave out anything (plus there's a cool button that allows me to delete words that may have come out impulsively).

Bonjour,

Enfp20

Enfp20
@enfp20
09/24/15 06:16:13PM
24 posts

Good in small doses


Empath

"....one other thing...your energy is quite loud....I've been trying to answer this for the last 2 days and keep having to leave the page....so...energy wise...u overwhelm...."


This really impacted me when I read it. I think I know what you mean. I seem to overwhelm people. I feel noticed everywhere I go, all eyes on me if feels.

Would you mind expanding on this? In what way did my energy overwhelm you, i'm very interested to know...

Enfp20
@enfp20
09/24/15 06:08:49PM
24 posts

Good in small doses


Empath

"....you say people end up being angry at you for something you said...well...I have a freind who kinda does the same thing....it's how he words things...and he's confrontational....even when the subject has been closed....he'll go over and over it..."

This statement is one of my biggest petpeeves. When someone acts this way, it enrages me. This is so far from being me its not funny.

I believe people get upset at my words because I don't beat around the bush. I don't meander around to get to what I really want to say. People are too sensitive it seems. I do not like fake people, I believe beating around the bush before getting to your point is being fake. The issue is that this sort of thing is expected. When I just get to the point, it feels as though I give off a sense ofarroganceor rudeness. In my mind, it's rude to waste someone's time with B.S. before getting to the point. I respect someone who can come out and just speak their mind. Low confidence and easily offended people I feel are those who generally require a build up to real reason one is talking.

It seems I cannot "bend the knee" and give in to society's expectations. I communicate that i'm not being rude, i'm just being me, and please do not take offence (really I have no clue why it is offensive to simply say, "Karen, do you want to come with me to run a few errands?" rather than "Hello Karen, how are you doing? How was your weekend? Boy, the weather sure sucks eh? Anyways, I was going to hit the mall to pay some bills and maybe shop around, if you're not doing anything, I'd like it if you can join me. If you can't its no problem, but if you're bored, I thoughtyou'dlike to comealong.")

"....telling people THEY need to change something without it being hurtful is really not possible...."

I just want to be me. I don't want to change just because society says so. I encourage those around me to just be you. If the person i'm with outwardly communicates that they want to change something about themselves, then I offer my advice based on my experience. I make it clear that my advice is simply information they will have. They are the ones who will choose to use it however they see fit. And if they choose not to, that's fine too.

"...my own senses are finely tuned thanks to a mother who has a short fuse....so I pay attention to EVERYone....facial expressions...tones of voice...body language....energy....so if you want to avoid the blow ups...you gotta start paying attention to the person your talking to...."

This is my greatest gift of all. I notice everything in my environment. I sense subtle changes in temperature, I notice when something has moved in the room even an inch. Even when not looking at the person i'm with, myperipheralvision notices their bodylanguage, posture, facialexpression,rateofbreathing, direction of their gaze... I often sayout loudwhatever it was that theywere thinking. It freaks them out.

If there is one thing that I am sensitive to, and become upset by (actually I rage and become furious, it is something i have trouble controlling) is:

  • being told what I am thinking/how I feel/or my motive behind an action
  • being accused of something I was not guilty for (I highly value my integrity and character, if i'm accused of something that violates my beliefs or what I stand for and/or i'm against, I cannot allow this image of me to be believed by others without making it clear with facts that the accusation is false.)

Anyways, I was not trying to attack your response. I am grateful that you took to time to do so. A lot of what you wrote is exactly how I feel. I may have given the wrong impression of the way I act in situations that offend others. Perhaps this response will serve as an example of my communication style.

I wonder, did you feel offended by the style in which I wrote this response? It would be interesting to hear your feedback. Please respond Karen.

Thanks.

Enfp20
@enfp20
09/24/15 05:27:57PM
24 posts

Good in small doses


Empath

There are 3 categories of people in my life; family & old friends, people whom I've just met, and general acquaintances.

My family and close friends know that i'm a weird guy at times, someone who loves shock humour (say or do the opposite to what is expected. For example, people politely ask, "Can you pass the sugar please" when someone has it in their hand. For fun, i'll say "Give me that" and snatch it out of their hand. I do this purely for the shock humor. Those who know me, realize this and chuckle. They'lle often say, "you're hilarious dude". Clearly I can only do this with a choice group of my people. I am weird, I find that so funny, i'm a child at heart.

With the last 2 groups, I would never do this sort of thing. I act polite, act the way one is 'supposed' to act. As I become more comfortable with the person, and we get to know each other, I slowly become my self. I tell them that I have a strange sense of humor. There are some who get it, and there are those who don't. The one's who don't share a common personality trait, Low Confidence and Self Esteem. These people are easily offended and are extremely spiteful. Why they are this way is typically due to their past. If I become close friends or spend a lot of time with this type of person (lets call this type "Boonga"), I start to act like my self. If I pull a shock humor joke, they constantly take it seriously, they get upset. I remind them that i'm just being myself and don't take anything I say or do personally, but the message doesn't seem to stick.

I do tone down my natural personality, but it's difficult. I think, the Boonga are the people I have the most trouble with as it pertains to this topic. My friends & close family have certain expectation of me. Most see tremendous potential, but feel I lack the discipline to become what I truly can become. This makes them furious. I get their lectures and mostly get tough love. They look at me and I can sense their disappointment. It is so easy for me to become overwhelmed by their true feelings about me. On the outside they smile and act as if everything is OK. But I know what they really feel about me, I can sense it, I can hear their inner voice. It hurts.

Enfp20
@enfp20
09/22/15 09:29:42PM
24 posts



My whole life, electronic equipment would seem to malfunction when I would use it. I would get so upset, and the problem would get worse. Often, I would bring someone over to see the problem, then suddenly there wouldn't be a problem anymore. People would think I was making it up, it happened way too many times in my life to be a coincidence. TV, internet, new electronic toys, email & text messages disappearing, etc

When I found out about empaths (perhaps 6 months ago), I read that this is common. I was blown away, I still don't understand it, but I was so satisfied that I wasn't alone.

Enfp20
@enfp20
09/22/15 09:13:07PM
24 posts



East Vancouver BC, Canada

Enfp20
@enfp20
09/04/15 12:31:28PM
24 posts

Empaths and Fast Burn Relationships


Empath

I would like to share my relationship trend. My experiences closely follow your description with slight variances.

I would like to describe the pattern that occurs in my relationships. They are as follows:

  1. Every relationship goes through the honeymoon phase. In my case, the honeymoon phase is the most intense, emotional, and powerful experience. It feel like pain when we are not together. Typically, we become extremely attached, rarely leaving each others side as the journey begins. There is passionate sex and intimacy. We learn everything about each other as we spend all of our spare time together. I have gone through this phase 7 times to date. I am addicted to the feelings we share, I can't think of a better emotion, even though it feels like pain when we are not together. Each time, the girl i'm with has not felt such an intense connection before. They truly fall in love extremely fast, as do I. I end up neglecting my responsibilities and cut out all others from my life. This is one part I regret, but at the moment, there is nowhere else I would rather be than with this person. This phase typically lasts for a few months, but since we are together so much, it feels like much longer. I communicate with her how much a despise typical relationship bickering/fighting/arguing. Inevitability, all of this rears it's ugly head...
  2. There comes a point where I feel guilty for neglecting others in my life. Or projects and commitments that I have. I start to bring balance to the relationship by have some time apart to see to our responsibilities. At this point, there is no way I would even consider looking at another woman. My personality is best described as a social butterfly. I love interacting with people, male and female. I expect my partner to have trust in our relationship and to allow me to be myself in her presence and out. For some reason, my girlfriend is hurt by me wanting to share my time with others. She tries to hide it, but I can sense her insecurity in our relationship. She assures me that i'm free to spend time with my female friends (as I have many in my life). But I know this is not really how she feels
  3. This insecurity typically results in false assumptions creeping into her head. She starts to demand I tell her my every move. Who I was with, where I am going, why I would "rather" spend time with someone other than her. She loses trust in me, without me giving a reason to be mistrusted. She starts to get upset when I choose to keep some parts of my life to myself. I am naturally a private person, especially when it comes to gossip. I choose not to participate in gossip, and I feel if I tell her everything about the people I spend time with, i'm gossiping. When I do not share everything, she loses trust. She assumes I don't lover her like I used to. She thinks that i'm out potentially cheating on her when this is the furthest from the truth. I usually can't stop thinking about her when i'm away, and often brag about her to my friends and family.
  4. Here is when the arguing and fighting begins. I can sense her emotions when we are together. I ask her to let it out, so we can get past it. She is usually unable to do this. Fighting, screaming, accusations are directed at me. I start to feel trapped, I hate being trapped. This is my biggest fear, I love to be myself and express what I have to offer to the world. I try to stay patient, but I end up fighting back, but with deep anger, frustration, and rage. This is not me, it feels like I take on her emotions and project them back at her.
  5. There comes a point where I just don't care anymore, I tune out. I communicate that I don't want to feel like this, and that if it does not stop, I have to remove my self from the situation. My warnings go unheard, by this time it is too late. Once I lose my feelings toward someone, their gone. When she realizes that she is losing me, the type of girl I attract react very similarly. They rage, then cry and cry. They promise to change and that they love me. It's hard for me to leave someone in this condition. Due to my sympathy, I stick around. By doing this, we are both unhappy. I am no longer the person I was. It is obvious that I just don't care to put in an effort any longer. This is devastating to her. Emotions and rage continue for a while. The end is typically a physical outburst on her part because she feels abandoned. I have had girlfriends punch me, scratch me, throw scissors and knives. Destroy everything in my room including the sentimental gifts I had made for her. I end up taking it, and feel as though my heart was ripped out of my chest.
  6. I decide to move on, but she continues to contact me in hopes to start over. I know in my heart that this is not possible for me. I still hear from ex-girlfriends to this day from as far back as 2000. Any attempt to try the relationship over always fails. The memory of the honeymoon phase is what lures us both back to give it another shot. In each other's presence, reality sinks in that that feeling will remain in our memories, and will not return in reality.

i'm really happy to have a forum to discuss these sort of experiences in my life. I am a reserved person, and tend to bottle up my emotions. I do not like talking about my problems because I do not want to burden others, yet I happily take on anyone else's as my own. This forum is allowing me to finally share my experiences. I have never met like minded people. It's a great feeling to know there are others out there like me.

Enfp20
@enfp20
09/04/15 11:25:34AM
24 posts



Alcohol is what helped me lose my social anxiety and get to be myself. I don't see drinking as a bad think as long as one can handle it. I started drinking at age 16, always for fun, I've never grabbed a bottle because I was sad or upset. People always comment that they can't tell that i had been drinking. I used to get jealous of people stumbling and acting they way drunk people are portrait on television and movies. It doesn't matter how much I drink, I am not capable of being this way (I guess that's a good thing). I become very aware of my surroundings. Often, I take a step back and observe myself and my surroundings when i'm drinking. I watch everything that's going on around me and smile. The couple arguing, the drunk guy looking to hookup, the girl completely bored by a conversation with some guy, the shy girl in the corner who feel ignored and alone. I typically find myself approaching this person who seems to be uncomfortable and not having fun. I love helping them break out of their shell and let loose.

I'm curious if you mind expanding on your comment about knowing things you shouldn't...

Enfp20
@enfp20
09/04/15 10:42:15AM
24 posts

Good in small doses


Empath

Chay, thanks for your reply.

I fully understand what you are talking about. Here is my method of communicating to people who reach out to me for help. I typically start of with, "I can only talk about something I have personal experience with, here's what I did in this particular situation...". I then go on to describe the event, my reaction to the event, and the outcome. I'm good at figuring out what the person will be able to relate to. For example, if I try to explain a situation to my cousin Vik, I would give an analogy related to hockey since he is a hug hockey fan. I have another friend who has trouble seeing things from another's point of view. In her case, I make her experience the emotion first hand. I then tell her the feelings she is feeling at this moment are what I felt in the situation I was describing. I then provide various options, and leave it to them to try one. If they choose not to, I do become frustrated but do my best to leave it up to them. You and I seem to approach this situation similarly.

The person I spend most of my time with is the type of person who prefers to complain and point fingers rather than be solution oriented. I find it difficult to leave the situation unsolved since I have to constantly hear her negative thoughts, especially when I find the issue trivial. Her anger/frustration typically gets channeled toward me. I often feel like a punching bag whose leather is about to tear.

I recently learned the difference between masculinity and femininity, male vs female mind. According to Leo, a woman wants to let her feelings out and to be listened to, understood, and told that everything will be OK. A man is more solution oriented, he does not like to talk about his feelings, rather be left alone to evaluate the situation and come up with a method to avoid the issue in the future. Here's a link to Leo's video from Actualized.org on YouTube, if only I understood this concept earlier in life, I may have avoided 100's of arguments with past relationships.

Masculinity vs Femininity - The Male and Female Mind Fully Explained

I guess my real issue when originally starting this post was how to think before I do. I tend to be impulsive in all aspects of life. I don't let problems, that I consider trivial or petty, bother me. I don't dwell on the negatives and put things in perspective to "real" problems. If someone spills juice on my new carpet, it sucks for sure, but I realize it was a mistake and shit happens. Currently in my life, my cousin (who was more like a sister) passed away, I lost my job, I cannot afford to repay my debt to the bank, family, and friends, most of my family is upset with me, I stay at friends' houses as i'm currently homeless, I'm single at age 35, I may be developing a substance abuse problem, I have no real close friends anymore,... the list goes on. Clearly these examples are not trivial/petty matters but despite all of this, i'm content in life if not happy. People don't understand how I can be smiling in light of all of this. They tell me that I 'should" do this or I "should" worry about this. I typically reply, "why worry? who says I "should' do this or that" etc. This does not sit right with people. In addition, I blurt out comments or commit actions perhaps at the wrong time. Sometimes I hate people, it seems general society worries about everything, anxious about everything, stressed, unhappy, and takes life too seriously. People do not like something they do not understand, and I seem to be this something.

I just want to be myself, but it's hard to find people who accept me for who I am as I accept them for who they are.

Enfp20
@enfp20
09/03/15 11:37:54PM
24 posts

Good in small doses


Empath

I am a happy person, carefree, love to laugh, learn, non-judgmental, positive, seem to be easy to be around (according to feedback from others).

When I first meet someone, they often tell me how they're comfortable around me. Most of the time, they tell me their life story. A lot of times, i'm told intimate details that are usually reserved to be shared with a longtime friend. I really enjoy hearing people's stories. I only give advice or feedback if asked for it. However, a trend seems to develops that troubles me...

It seems i'm good in small doses. As I spend more time with someone, things change. I end up getting yelled at, or told I need to change this, or that. The person tends to get angry over something I did or said. My intentions are always good, I do not do or say things to make someone upset intentionally, but it seems as though i'm the cause for my companions misery.

I do not follow social norms. I do not worry about problems that happened in the past or may happen in the future. I live in the present. I've noticed that the source of anxiety and negativity seem to be the result of people having a though outside of the present.

I was wondering if this happens with others in this community. If so, do you have any advice on how to reduce the chance of this happening. Is there something in particular that I could be doing to induce this reaction from others?

All feedback, comments, and advice are welcome. I look forward to hearing from you.


updated by @enfp20: 04/26/17 12:39:43AM
Enfp20
@enfp20
09/03/15 10:35:08PM
24 posts



I feel the same way. Drugs and alcohol do not have the same effect in me as they do to others. My tolerance is really high. When I have drank a lot, people say they can't tell I'm drunk. Because of this, I have always been the guy who takes on the responsible role. If police show up, automatically it's me who deals with it. I was researching this fact online, this is how I learned about empaths and that I am an emotional empath.
Enfp20
@enfp20
09/03/15 02:16:36AM
24 posts

My Journey


Empath

I"m happy to find a forum hat I can open up to. I'm a 35 year old male from Vancouver Canada. I only recently identified why I am the way I am. I've been the 'popular' guy my whole life. From 16 years old to 30, I had hundreds of acquaintances that I called friends from all over the Lower Mainland. At 16, I basically met the world. This was the age I started drinking. Alcohol did not affect me like it did others, I would drink as much if not more than all of my friends (and we all drank a lot!). I became hyper-social, it allowed me to socialize like I was never able to before. Nobody would ever know I was drunk, I did not get sloppy, puke, get violent, etc. I would just talk and have fun. My true personality was allowed to shine. I drank for fun, never for anything else. I always had female platonic friends in my life, yes usually feelings would develop between us but it tended to ruin things. I consciously avoided letting this happen. I have always been able to relate to women and children, I enjoyed their company a lot more than my male friends.

I always was in the 'bad' crowd. On the outside, I'd portray a rougher image. This was to hide my sensitive side as society considered that weak. Back then, I cared what people thought of me, I took this to an extreme. Even my closest friends and family never knew the real me. To this day, it seems I where a mask. The mask changes depending on who I am with. Truthfully, I really didn't know who I was either.

I always felt different than everyone else. Nobody understood me. They just saw the funny, educated, responsible, party animal. I learned early to keep my emotions hidden, I perceived them as weakness. Even though i had many friends, I have a history of choosing 1 person I choose to spend most of my time with. Somehow my interest in this person would dwindle away, and i'd move onto someone else. To this day I do this. I do not allow anyone to get too close to me. I start to feel overwhelmed by someone I spend a lot of time with. I start to feel suffocated, and eventually begin to resent them. This is especially true when it comes to my relationships.

My first girlfriend was at age 10, I truly did love her as hard it is to believe. I have never had a relationship for more than 2.5 years. I have had 21 girls i've dated continuously, of these 9 I would consider serious relationships. Everyone of my relationships has had the same pattern. The honeymoon phase is alway extremely intense and passionate. I allow all of my emotions to be shown. I am an emotional empath, so I feed off of others feelings. I always want to be happy, laughing and carefree. But the most powerful emotion is love. In the beginning, I give everything I have to the girl i'm with. Everyone of them to my memory has commented that they have never felt the way they do with me. Of course, honeymoon phases come to an end. When I start to feel smothered, I start to spend a little more time with either the friends i have neglected or on a personal project that I am working on. when this happens, the girl feels rejected, becomes jealous, and then the arguing begins. Fighting drains me like nothing else. I always feel like i'm on defense. I am a private person at heart, I do not judge others and I do not gossip. When I choose not to tell my girlfriend every detail about my life, they feel like i have something to hide. In reality, i'm a loyal boyfriend, and wouldnt think of cheating on my woman. In my mind, if i need to cheat, then why am I with her?

When this phase of the relationship is in full force, I never understood until recently why I would become as much a part of the fighting and arguing as my girlfriend. I truly hate feeling anything but happy. But for some reason, I would be constantly angry and start to rage. Eventually I would end the relationship. When this would happen, the girl would completely change, she would realize that it was over. Something often comes over them, they cry non stop, want to get back together, promise to change. But to me, it's to late, I cant ignore the hurt, fighting, and bad feelings. After learning about what an empath is, i realize I would be feeling their feelings. I would bottle my feelings as long as I could, then I would vent. I would become enraged, and furious, mean and hurtful. When I would calm down, I wouldn't know what came over me.

I have never been diagnosed with any mental health problem. Until recently, I never thought this was possible. All I know is every article and video i've watched about and Empath and Indigo Child/Adult completely describes who I am and what I go through daily.

I have always had an easy time making friends, male, female, coworkers, strangers, family, in all walks of life. I just understand people and what makes them tick. I know when someone is lying, when someone is hiding an emotion, or when they are being fake. It requires no effort, this ability has been with me as far as I can remember. Friends i've had that are insecure would seem to have a 'man crush' on my. They would do what I wanted to do, eat what I ate, listen to music that I listened to. It was very embarrassing. It would make me feel uncomfortable. It has always been hard for me to maintain a platonic relationship with a female friend. They will often develop romantic feelings for me. Often I did not want this, as it always ruined the friendship. Eve, n though I attended many parties (hosted a lot), was a club rat for a while, etc I would never feel comfortable. It was overwhelming. I always disappear to be alone, to recharge and breath. One coping mechanism would be to choose 1 person to spend the majority of my time with. I could be in a room with hundreds of people, but i would block it all out and connect with the person I was with (90% of the time this person would be female). To this day, I still suffer from anxiety during family functions. When family would visit my parents house, I would hide in a room and lock the door. If I did not great the guests as soon as they walked into the house, I would get extremely anxious. I just wanted to disappear, or sneak out so I would have to say hello to everyone. My mother would have to drag me out of the room to join the family. Even today at 35 years of age, I feel like this. A unique phenomena has always occurred with me. Strangers on the street open up to me unprovoked. I recall many instances of sitting at a bus stop, looking over at someone, smiling and nodding in acknowledgement. This would be enough for this person to engage in a long personal conversation with me. I have heard intimate details of strangers lives, whom I have only known for 10 minutes. If they were feeling down, I often hear the following, "I feel so much better just talking to you, I feel like I've known you my whole life." I love the feeling I get when I hear these words. Usually I just listen to the speaker and relate to their story. I do not give advice unless asked for my opinion. I i'm extremely non-judgmental. I have had random conversations with all types of people from policemen, CEOs, and religious persons to addicts, prostitutes, and the homeless. There are times when I'm sitting in my friends room, without a sad thought in my head, then all of a sudden I become extremely emotional and start to cry. It was so confusing, I wouldn't know why this was happening. I would hide my face from whoever I was with to hide my tears. I would feel embarrassed. If they noticed, I would brush it off as if nothing happened.

When I am interested in a subject/project/idea etc, it takes over my life. This thing is always on my mind day, night and in my dreams. I will study the topic and learn everything about it. I got extremely obsessed with poker in my university years. I purchased 15 books on the subject and studied the game intensly. I loved the fact that it is a people game. The most important skill to have or develope is reading peoples manurisms, tendancies, thinking, and body language. I naturally had this skill but by playing poker for hours in the casino and reading literature on the subject I became an expert. I had strong fundamentals in the game. I was able to adapt my game to the table i was playing at and the people I was playing against. My specialty was No-Limit Tournament Texas Hold'em poker. I played in the high stakes games with up to 600 people entered with buy-ins of $500-$2700. My biggest weakness was my emotions. It wasn't that I would tilt and be unable to let go a bad hand, or become emotional towards someones table image. My problem was acting on instinct and feel at the wrong time and end up eliminated from the tournament. I would be confident that I was the most skilled player at the table. The last hand was very often lost due to an error I committed. I would spend hours prior to the tournament reviewing my game. My emotions would get the better of me, and I would make a play without analyzing the information I had at hand that would have guided me to make a specific play. Instead I would neglect this, fall for my opponents deceit and be eliminated. I decided to place extra emphasis on my reading abilities and patience. I read multiple books, watched videos, and researched to subject meticulously. I made a conscious decision to practice my reading abilities during day to day activities. I would try to guess what a stranger would order from McDonald's based on their appearance and affluence. I would observe people on the street and analyze them based on their body language. I started focusing on all the activity around me on the streets, at work and at home. It became a part of my life, it was like breathing. I was not aware of my empathic abilities then, but realize now that I had self taught myself to heightened a natural skill I possessed.

After an emotionally traumatizing relationship, I began partying a lot while experimenting with party drugs. I enjoy stimulants. They have a calming effect on me. I transitioned to harder narcotics. I currently use certain drugs as self medication. Again, I want to emphasize that alcohol and drugs do not affect me like they do others. My tolerance is really high, and I is very rare for me to lose control, become paranoid, or any other negative side effects associated with these drugs. I met a girl who works on the streets. I have spent the majority of this past year with her at her house. She has been an addict for 13 years. According to her, i'm the only person in her life who has actually cared for her well being, first person to give her the attention that a best friend or boyfriend would give a woman. I know her inside out, yet she still does not know me. As I mentioned, my intuition is highly developed. I noticed there was something different about her. She had multiple symptoms that I will not get into. I recognized this difference when I was telling her about the passing of my cousin.

I recently had a tragedy in my family. For the first 12 years of my life, my parents and 2 brothers lived with my dad's brother and family. Our house had 4 adults and 6 kids, 5 boys and 1 girl. My cousin passed away at age 30 due to complications with Multiple Sclerosis. She was diagnosed at age 20, we watched her deteriorate in 10 years from a healthy beautiful young woman, to a paralyzed adult incapable of moving any muscle in her body voluntarily and unable to speak who weighed 52 lbs at the time of her passing. The family was forced to pull the plug after her heart stopped while in the hospital due to complications with pneumonia. I only saw her 3 times in the last 2 years of her life. The rest of the family constantly visited her and sat by her side while she was at home in a hospital bed. The last time I actually spoke to her was at my aunt's house. I hadn't seen her in months before this day. I asked about her all the time, but I was a coward, I couldn't handle seeing her in the condition she was in. Her condition had progressed rapidly from the last time I seen her. Prior to this day, she was in a wheelchair. She had lost a lot of weight, and had uncontrollable tremors/twitches, but she was able to communicate fine. When I visited, she was bedridden, she was shaking continuously, and had bid difficulty speaking. Her eyes would rotate uncontrollably and she was skin and bones. She is the bravest, most positive person ever to walk on this planet. She always smiled and made sure to compliment you on your clothes, haircut, or just your looks in general. I kept my composure when in her presence, but when I walked out of her room, I couldn't help but scream cry uncontrollably. I couldn't take it, there are not words to describe how I felt seeing her like that. She was the most innocent sweetest girl. She was aspiring to be an elementary school teacher as she loved children. She never hurt a fly or ever did anything wrong. She did not deserve what happened to her.

While I was telling my friend about my cousin, i noticed she wasn't really paying attention. She interrupted me part way through my talk to attend to some meaningless task. It was so insignificant that I don't even remember what she wanted to go do instead of hear me pour my heart out about the death of my cousin that had just happened days before. When I displayed my anger toward her for not caring, she genuinely didn't understand why I was so upset. It was clear that she actually did not understand what I was going through. I tried to explain what reaction I would expect from her, instead of understanding me, she became enraged and began to yell at me. I became obsessed with figuring out why she reacted this way and why she didn't show any sympathy toward my cousin's passing. I mentioned earlier that I hide my emotions even though i go through a roller coaster ride within. I gained the courage to talk about my feelings and I was greeted with anger and blame for forcing her to listen. For 2 months day and night I read articles on the internet on mental health and psychology. I was first convinced she was a narcissist or had borderline personality disorder (BPD). I have a tendancy to attract sociopaths, narcissists, and women with BPD. I had recently gotten out of a relationship with a sociopath. Her symptoms fit those of BPD, except for one big sign that I was accustomed to experiencing. She did not seem to have wildly unpredictible emotions. I was as though she did not have any emotions. She was unable to put herself in my shoes. It turned out that she in all likelihood has autism spectrum disorder (ASD). While researching her symptoms, I learned so much about myself.

I learned that I may also have a form of ASD and ADHD. Eventually I learned what an empath was, a highly sensitive was, what an intuitive was and what an indigo was. It was like all of the questions, concerns, and unknowns I had about myself were all answered/explaned after 35 years. It explained my emotions, explained why my emotions change ubruptly without reason or thought. It explained why strangers at bus stops would pour their life story out to me. Why people constantly told me they feel comfortable around me. Why I have always felt like I have a greater purpose on this world. Explained why my tolerance to alcohol and drugs was so high. Now I knew why i need alone time when I feel overwhelmed by people. Why I enjoy the company of women and children more than my male friends and family. Explained why I secretly enjoy romantic comedies (keep that one on the down-low). It explained why I have a hard time handling the Sun's light, why i'm very sensitive to small temperature changes, why the tags on my shirts drive me crazy, why bunched up clothing makes me scream. Explains why my whole life electrical equipment acts up/fails constantly. Explains why I prefer intimate sex with foreplay and emotions involved as opposed to a two minute BJ like most guys. Explains why I hate watching the news, reading the paper, watching commercials during Christmas about starving children in Africa. I have always been a giver, i choose to give even when it comes at my own expense. I have been taken advantage of for this character trait. I seem to attract sociopaths often who feed off my giving nature.

At this moment in my life, Im facing a lot of challenges. I am in financial ruins, I am unemployed, the relationship between my family and I is the worst it has ever been, I may have developed a substance abuse problem, I have distanced myself from all of my friends except for one friend. I am struggling with setting boundaries between myself and those I surround myself with. The people closest in my life are extremely negative. I am lost in life, Im struggling to discover my calling as man. I studied engineering after high school. I have been laid off by the three engineering positions I have held, much like my relationships, I cannot hold down a job for more than three years. My performance is never the issue, Im accustomed to being a top performer at work. Where I get in trouble is with my emotions. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am vocal in meetings, I am not afraid to challenge the powers that be in a respectful way. I am able to think of solutions to challenges at work from different points of view, I think outside the box. Unintentionally, I may make my managers and bosses look stupid in front of our peers. The workplace is filled with office politics which I despise. The job its self I love. I do not like rules and authority figures. I dont like the fact I cannot be myself. I hate that I cannot express my creativity freely. I would like to pursue a career where I help people, make a difference in someones life.

Despite the above, Im content in life, if not happy in life. Over the last 6 months, I dont care what others think. I choose to be happy in life, and I will not sacrifice my happiness to please others. If they dont like what they see then theyre free to move along. I choose to focus on the positives, life is too short.

I hope to meet like minded people on this forum board. It would be amazing to finally chat with someone who relate to me.

RS


updated by @enfp20: 03/13/17 11:27:08AM