New with questions
Hello. I found this site while researching online. I have always been an empath, and as a child knew things or sensed things before they happened. I grew up not being aware, though, and I often thought something was wrong with me because I was so sensitive... to the news, seeing homeless people, roadkill; etc. I finally discovered there is a name for it, about five years ago.I had a rocky upbringing (adopted by grandparents, parents who aren't/weren't around), but in the end it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I somehow was able to be sheltered from having to deal with my empath status on a very high level. I went to a very small high school with very few people. Even when I became an adult, I met a serious boyfriend when I was 19. He managed rock bands, was older, and was also empathic himself. I began traveling with him on tour around the world. I did this for eleven years, until I left this past year and a half, hoping to find a little more love and stability for my future.The result of my years with the ex, though, is that I was very sheltered from having to face much of this. In spite of traveling the world with rock stars, and the stigma it might have, it was actually quite peaceful. The band was made up of very artistic, open minded, non judging, spiritually enlightened people. My ex was also very open and empathic. Yes we were around large groups and airports and all that goes with it, but we were all together in this little hive of positivity and happiness- at least that's how I felt when with my ex or his associates.If I wasn't traveling with the ex, I was spending time with him at his home, or quietly spending time with my small group of friends. I left and moved to a large city a year and a half ago, where I met all new people with varying energies. Leaving to be on my own has shown me how sheltered I was from having to deal with this.It's still very difficult discussing it with "normal" people.
I'm often looked at as if I need medication when I try explaining this to someone who's not spiritually/mentally open. I have great hope this is a place where I won't be pegged crazy, as it's a big step for me to outwardly discuss this on a forum.It's also difficult, because I know there are people out there who do actually have mental issues (severe paranoia, depression) and they may clump themselves into being "empathic", when truly their intuition isn't actually coming from a place which proves to be real in the end. This makes talking about being empathic even more difficult for me (as I don't want to be lumped in with the confused and paranoid, as I am aware enough to know mine is real). As a result, I have tried keeping it hidden and try my best to deal with it quietly. I've remained friends with the ex, and he's there to talk about this stuff, but the situation I'm going to discuss here, was not really ex appropriate.I came here, mainly, because I have a few questions; as I'm still new to accepting all this. 1.) Can an empath begin to absorb another person's negative traits? I know we can feel them, but can we eventually feel like we are possessed, almost?About ten months ago, during my newly single socializing, I met a man at a party. I felt his energy the night of the party, and he was truly this amazing man with an amazing heart, and he was very fixated on me. It's difficult for me to find interest in a man, because I can almost always sense what he's feeling, and it often does not appeal to me. I sniff out fakes and manipulators almost instantly. This guy was different though. I felt it immediately. He had love all around him.We began talking, and seeing each other, but a couple months later, things shifted. His energy shifted. It's as if the man I met no longer existed, and had been sharing his body with a completely opposite person. I could feel it in his presence as time went on.It was like he was bipolar or had a battle going in his head. He actually told me toward the end that he felt like he had a battle going on in his head. I actually truly began to think he was clinically bipolar, and I don't throw that out as an insult. I'm aware it's a real ailment and it's nothing I'd pass judgment or make fun of, but I truly think he had it.2.) Is it possible to be "tricked" (obviously not intentionally) by bipolar or split personality people when reading energy? Meaning, if they truly believe they are who they show you when you meet, is it possible to completely miss that this person has an opposing personality?I know when someone is lying, and this man was not faking or lying about anything when I met him. He was who he showed. But then he intermittently changed into someone different. You could feel this new energy when he was this other person. I know non empathic people could be fooled by the charms of a man, but I'm having a hard time accepting that I could have been fooled. Part of having this (what I feel to be a "gift" I'd rather give back) is supposed to involve the perk of being able to always see the truth.I usually feel people so easily. This threw me for a loop. I do believe this man has a good heart, but I also believe he is sharing his body with a mental illness (or maybe he himself is empathic and absorbing someone else day to day).Soon, after a month knowing this man, I began changing. I felt literally like I was possessed by something. I know that sounds completely crazy, but it's the only way to describe it. I've never had this feeling in me. I'm normally very positive, non judgmental, non assuming, open minded, and all loving. I suddenly started having feelings of a victim mentality, and became assuming, negative, persecuting, depressed, and judgmental. However, at the same time, I knew this was not me at all. I've never had those feelings in my entire life. They simply aren't part of my wiring.We eventually stopped seeing each other, but I still allowed a friendship and talking to go on after we ended things. All of this happened in about three months (meeting him to no longer dating). Almost immediately after we stopped dating (but still remained friends and talking), I soon began having severe migraines, and I still felt like this bad energy was inside me. I did not put two and two together or even think it was from him (as I'd been very sheltered from having to make such calls the last 12 years). Not knowing where this negativity in me was coming from, I worried if I'd ever go back to being myself again.I then had my very first panic attack. I've never had migraines or panic attacks in my life, but all of a sudden, within three months of bringing this guy into my energy, I was having migraines, panic attacks (where my heart would race, I could barely breath, and I would shake uncontrollably), and I had all these negative feelings which I could feel were not mine.After speaking with him in a friendly way during a routine conversation, I discovered he had actually been going through severe depression the entire year prior to meeting me. He said he had panic attacks and all these negative feelings and anger in him. I couldn't believe it because that is everything I was going through, out of no where, and only since I had met him.I have since stopped talking to him completely; and it is bizarre, but all of that negativity in me is gone. It finally hit me that all of that nonsense I went through was not actually my own. During those months, I saw a psychiatrist, a therapist, a psychic, and I read more self help books than anyone I know. However, none of it worked. I only felt better when this man was completely gone from my life.I had actually been so fixated on me being the one with the issues I needed to fix, that it didn't even dawn on me that all these issues entered my life only when he did. These weren't my issues. I didn't need to learn how to be open minded and non judging, because that's already the person I am- but he needed to learn those things and grow, and I feel like I was feeling what I'd feel if I were him. I would not be happy having those negative feelings in me. I'd insist on growing and evolving, and ironically I tried doing just that during those months. Only I feel like I was doing work that he should have been doing, because I myself have already evolved beyond that. I truly felt I had regressed spiritually and was no longer me, until this person was gone.3.) I am just wondering if this makes sense to anyone? Is it possible that I actually did absorb this man during all those months?I've always been so strong about not letting people influence who I am. I've never taken on another person's energy. I may feel their feelings for the moment when I'm near them, but I've never actual taken their feelings on as part of my personality. It's very unlike me to do that. I know non empathic people do this too, but it's more like people being influenced by other people's tendencies; like one friend will start mimicking the other. This was different, though. This man hid all of these things from me at first, yet I still took on these traits, even without knowing he had them.I'm just amazed and trying to learn as much as I can so that I do not allow this to happen again. I still know very little about this, and any help, from empathic or non empathic people, is greatly appreciated. I literally felt fried after my time with this person. It was like plugging my U.S. hair dryer into a European outlet. I'd like to reset my circuit breaker.
updated by @jess2: 03/20/17 11:00:52AM