cluster B parents
Yes, I believe I finally, largely have got them out of my head! It was very hard going for many years until this point, though.
Meditation, listening to my self-talk, lots of self-cleansing and just being aware of the awful messages I was getting from the parental introjects - and a load of avoidance of anyone I finally worked out was repeating or somehow triggering such messages, and hence hideous emotional and mental states - and a lot of reading, etc.
I am still very vulnerable to the old messages encoded in tone and manner (so disdain, contempt, disgust, shaming, anger, guilting, ridicule, etc, from randoms can set me off for days). That doesn't sound like much of an improvement, but believe me it is!
Reading every book on NPD I could find helped deal with my mother especially; I had to constantly revalidate what I was experiencing, it was so crazy-making. But since her death, etc, just not having the poison added in constantly has helped healing over time, along with the awareness of what I have experienced. I still read a lot now and then on Cluster Bs, and NPDs. (They seem to be breeding!)
Not much you can do with the required visits. I didn't have the heart once my mother got ill to boot her out of my life, so I just did a lot of self-care stuff around the visits. In my experience, whatever you do she'll get mad - so factor in your best options and a shitload of selfcare. I wish I'd known about and trusted 'light' work more fully in the years my mother was dying. It was hard to have boundaries at all, though very necessary, then. Draining, poisoning, crazymaking...