Forum Activity for @lavenderrose

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
11/10/16 06:37:54PM
82 posts

VENTING!


Empath

Renee:

If you speak up you are too loud. If you don't speak you are shutting everyone out. If you sit patiently and await your turn you are a wall flower and will be completely missed. If you interrupt you are just damn rude. If you dress down you get asked if "are you ok? You look terrible!" If you dress decent judgements are made as to who you are trying to impress. If you speak about it you are causing drama. If you vent to a confidante you are still causing an issue. If you don't speak to anyone you are repressing your feelings and should really open up more! I hate when people send loaded statements and expect that i cannot pick up the undercurrent, yet if you mention that undercurrent you are taking it too serious and it wasn't intended that way. If you don't mention that undercurrent you are allowing yourself to be walked all over. So many goddam rules!

^^This!

Every single word! Thanks for the vent, I so relate.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
10/31/16 05:37:46PM
82 posts

HSP - TED talk


Empath

There are Empaths who say they are not at all HSP. Hard to imagine, but that's what they say about themselves.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
10/29/16 04:34:26PM
82 posts

HSP - TED talk


Empath

Most Empaths are HSP. Not all HSPs (in fact not many) are Empaths.

HSPs are said to make up 20% of the population. Empaths are thought to make up less than 5%.

There is some overlap, but not as much as people seem to think. There are some common traits; but there has been a big confusion online about these two terms and Empath forums are often flooded with HSPs (confusing the two terms and assuming that as they are sensitive and empathic people they are Empaths) telling us more or less to just 'get over it', 'snap out of it', 'be positive', or just recognize we are all one, or similar guff that does not help anyone who is actually an Empath.

A lot of the ridicule and disbelief around such things as distance pickups comes from HSPs who think that whatever they experience is what Empaths experience, and that such things are therefore impossible or rare and only involve blood family in crisis, etc, when for some of us it's an everyday experience; and yet I've also encountered Empaths who refer to themselves as HSPs only, as they find online Empaths whiny special snowflakes and don't identify, and yet who clearly have psychic experiences of the feeling kind, such as Empaths have.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
09/19/16 06:11:50PM
82 posts

Why you shouldn't shield yourself


Empath

No-one is saying not to shield?

But the actual title of the thread is Why You Shouldn't Shield Yourself!

I would suggest people make up their own minds, but after considerably more experience. There is also the problem of what we mean by the world 'shielding'... and what we imagine it can do for us, and/or prevent. It seems to me we all mean different and often contradictory things by the term 'empath,' also.

(I am really struggling with the new fonts/quoting/everything! I just want normal print!)


updated by @lavenderrose: 09/19/16 06:14:40PM
Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
09/05/16 05:18:10PM
82 posts

Do people affect you remotely?


Empath

I get the physical symptoms remotely also. It is a real pain, as it interrupts my sleep a lot, and makes me think I'm going mad. Some of it is also very painful or uncomfortable.

It's most obvious with one particular woman who I want to shout Don't think of me! at... Maybe I should say something. She's in perpetual crisis. I don't know how you can stop people in moments of upset/pain/crisis bringing you to mind, it they think you are a kind, strong person and it soothes them to think of you. Argh!

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
08/30/16 03:29:26PM
82 posts

Why do I attract crazy? Do you?


Empath

It seems to go with the territory, attracting the crazy. The main usefulness of this repeat experience is it has taught me to learn about and maintain personal (as well as energetic) boundaries. But it's a repeat experience, hence a repeat lesson. Very tiring...

It's great you can set a boundary! I didn't have any, had to learn from scratch. But it is more about learning your own internal boundaries, I think. Solidifying the right to have them has taken me years of work and relearning by bitter experience what happens when I don't take my own needs seriously.

Personality disordered types see any boundary as a challenge. I have learnt to sidestep them. You lose too much energy trying to get them to see reason and behave decently and accordingly.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
08/26/16 07:12:26PM
82 posts

dark tirade-negative energy from a physical body


Empath

Maybe don't engage or interact? "Wall of Pleasant" style. Just kind of glide by smiling vaguely when around them as much as possible. Do a lot of cleansing when you get home, and get out into nature to recharge or have a bath or shower if that's more your thing.

I had someone like this in my life and found I was always exhausted afterwards, regardless, but making a rule to only see the person when in company (never alone) helped a bit.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
08/23/16 04:01:03AM
82 posts

Attracting suffering people


Empath

I think having a BPD/NPD/HPD mother really sets you up to click easily with tricky types. They just feel right, and we know how to cater to them. Good luck!

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
08/22/16 09:34:05PM
82 posts

Attracting suffering people


Empath

I got a slew of autoimmune disorders c/- this thing and my wild desire to heal/help/rescue/save, including some truly awful people in hindsight! There is nothing like listening to your body. For years I didn't, and learned the hard way it wasn't going to stop sending me messages of distress.

Am now saving myself for people I canactually help, who actually want to help themselves (that sure narrows the field!)- and that includes myself these days...

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
08/22/16 06:34:46PM
82 posts

Attracting suffering people


Empath

So true. Same way a pedophile can spot and target an abused, emotionally neglected child.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
08/22/16 06:33:34PM
82 posts

Attracting suffering people


Empath

That seems to come with the territory. My body reacts really badly these days to anyone not ultimately good for me, no matter how likable they may be, etc. Manic people are the worst; the energy overrides my own and stays with me for days. Can't bear the dragging leg pains I get around certain illnesses, also.

Not quite 38... You are young! Don't panic and hand over your best years to some crazy man who lovebombs you on a first date and will burn you out in a short time. (I've picked the crazy/nasty ones, unfortunately, so look back sadly at that aspect of my life, but boy do I know a whole manual of red flags now!)

Sorry your date was a fizzer. It's not you. It's the condition - we are magnets for all sorts of trouble, and troubled souls. Some empaths seem to thrive on it and feel it is our noble duty, but it tires me right out these days.

Also: I am not big on the Law of Attraction. Don't think you need to 'improve yourself' and certainly don't think you should blame yourself for these peeps being attracted to you - but you do need to learn your own boundary, and what is good for you, and maybe slowly make some decisions around all of this. Once I got firmer, and clearer, I felt less of a terrible person for assessing that yet another sick person was not a good idea for me as a new best friend, etc. Long hard work to draw those lines and lose the guilt, though.
Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
08/03/16 02:26:21PM
82 posts

Best shield to block electronics?


Empath

It gives me a stinking headache!

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
08/02/16 06:27:38PM
82 posts

Best shield to block electronics?


Empath

Yes.I think if you are a sensitive person it can be hard to pinpoint what you're sensitive to.

I used to work in an office a few years ago, but only part-time and I would need to lie around for a day afterwards to recover! I just find being around people really tiring, not even from an empath perspective, but as an introvert.

But then there is also the horrible fluoro lighting, the travelling on crowded public transport to get to the office, etc, the place is overheated or too cold. In another place I worked years ago the airconditioning was really bad, using 50% recycled air they said, and it was a big public venue where I had to greet many hundreds of patrons every night. I used to think it was the airconditioning sucking the life out of me. I am better off as I am working from home.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
08/02/16 12:20:21AM
82 posts

Best shield to block electronics?


Empath

I keep a nice piece of fluorite on my desk in between the comp and me. Worth a try. Looks pretty, and it Is said to absorb electronic junk.

Also, can you have a potplant where you work? Spider plants are said to absorb well, and there are probably a bunch of others that will do the trick.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
07/30/16 04:31:01PM
82 posts

Anyone else deal with social isolation?


Empath

I can relate. Don't think I have any solutions...

Not being ill is a good bonus of not having the users, or the people I feel zero affinity with, as Cheshire Cat said, in my life. I tried so hard to be of service, of use, and to help my 'friends' for so long, and then when I couldn't take that anymore (got really ill) I was just floating about and people I didn't especially like were wanting to be friends so I went along with it. That wasn't good either. Now I am extremely alone. It's sad. I have no answers. The circles I do mix in on occasion only have messed-up people who are not good for me.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
07/29/16 08:47:26PM
82 posts

So I just found out


Empath

"So I guess my question is, did this really happen? Does it go that deep?"

Yes. For me, anyway. All the blessed time...

Meditation is a great tool as an empath, in terms of knowing yourself and your own state v that of someone else. Discerning between the two is hard at first, and it may take some time to feel comfortable owning the 'realness' of these experiences (that will hopefully be lighter than that one).

Probably other tools like learning how to detach from others' intense energies, how to 'wash' the energies out of you, decording, etc etc will be necessary. Shielding seems to be a matter of personal taste, but you can use a meditative state to set some intentions around your personal boundaries and if you are a visualiser, also that might be nice to try for a while, different styles etc, to see how it helps you, or not.

A strong experience like that is certainly an eye-opener.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
07/25/16 04:40:59PM
82 posts

I found my place in the world


Empath

Oh, okay. Thanks :)

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
07/23/16 07:44:04PM
82 posts

I found my place in the world


Empath

What is ascension? Do you mean waking up to the fact that you are an empath and that explains a lot of stuff, or is it something else?

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
07/22/16 08:02:06PM
82 posts

Feeling Like My Chest is Being Crushed


Empath

Yeah, like electricity. Ground it out. Whichever way.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
07/22/16 04:29:24PM
82 posts

Feeling Like My Chest is Being Crushed


Empath

First, you need to calm your physical body down. Ground yourself. Do this in physical ways. Eat potatoes, rice; if you're a meat eater, eat a steak also; if not, root vegetables, lentils, are good. My go to is potatoes. Drink a lot of water, Have showers or if you have a bath lay in a warm salty bath for a long time. Table salt will do but sea salt is better. Breathe. In through the nose and then slowly out through the mouth making a wooshing sound with your lips. This breath will - it may take a few days - calm your nervous system down.

Try and leave all the esoteric and sensing stuff alone till this all calms down. Then you can review.

Watch dumb comedies. Go for walks, preferably with trees around you, a park, or just suburban streets. Keep doing the slow long breath out and try not to think about the pressure in your body but give your heart centre a soothing rub now and then. If you have a heat pack lay it on your solar plexus and hug it against your chest. Whatever you can do that you know relaxes your mind and body, do. Jigsaws, computer games, looking at picture of fluffy animals or roses? I don't know, but do it.

My chest is spasming writing this! Good luck with it all. It's a horrible state to be in. Ground yourself, young man! You can do some light visualising of unwanted energy leaving your system as you walk, say. Stomp it out into the earth. Sit with your bum on a rock or the grass, etc, and let earth take it, But I would stay out of the energy arena for a bit when things are this extreme.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
07/21/16 04:16:21PM
82 posts

How do I know if I am an empath?


Empath

Having empathy has nothing to do with being or not being an empath. Some empaths are very empathetic, and most empathetic people are not empaths.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
07/17/16 03:52:21PM
82 posts

Feeling certain people more strongly than others


Empath

I suppose we are all different - but when I pick up a person strongly like that they tend to be rather personality disordered, sometimes sociopathic, or just generally unpleasant emotionally disordered people. I have concluded this is due to the sensitivity of my receivers/antennas and also due to my personal history growing up with such types. I also pick up on people who use drugs very strongly, just in passing, at the supermarket, etc. It's not very nice.

I would very much doubt the person is another empath. There really aren't that many of us, and I for one do not live in a world where 'powerful empaths' impress upon or do battle with other empaths, although this sort of thing is very popular online. (This is all just my opinion, of course.) Needy and manipulative people, people with a degree of pyschic ability, psychic vampires (even rarer than empaths, but I've met a few), all can do what this man seemed to be doing to you.

A person with strong will and a sexual desire for you, or a desire to dominate and 'be better than' you, someone who envies and resents you, can do all this without consciously intending to have an effect, simply by bringing you intently to mind.

Beware of such types! Half of what my empath thing has given me, if not more than half, is an awareness of who to steer clear of.

"So my question is: Are there people that simply have stronger vibes and externalize their thoughts and feelings with greater amplitude or something and/or is it possible that I may be more sensitive to certain specific people due to a connection or something like that?"

Yes. Both. I don't think there needs to be a connection. Someone of stong will or strong force in their personality, can forge a connection like that by the intensity of their emotional body. You may be more sensitive to someone like that because of your personal history.

"I felt him so strongly that I eventually realized that I was even feeling his physical state (e.g. agitated and mind loopy on a morning after a night of doing drugs, later calmed down after having a smoke - I neither took drugs the night before or smoke cigarettes)."

Welcome to my world! I spend most weeks dealing with this sort of thing at some point, to one degree or another - and I can assure you I am not surrounded by empaths!

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
07/05/16 04:36:54PM
82 posts

In law clique draining me


Empath

I don't know. If there is a toxic person in the mix, others will often rally round them to do their bidding. It's all quite odd, and very hard to deal with being the target.

Is it your step-daughter? Because, if so, good luck with that! There is envy and resentment and a desire for power over you in there for some reason (in the instigator), it seems to me.

I would focus on making things comfortable for myself in this group, and that would involve a lot of retreating, and doing the necessary chores to make myself absent and expecting to be ignored - in fact hoping to be ignored. Go all beige and see-through! Just back right out and act like a pleasant skivvy until it's over, and go for long walks on my own. (Silently count the hours until they all leave. Smile big as they go!) That's all I can think of. Accept this is how it is, unfair as it is; regroup your own forces, and perhaps something will shift in the dynamic over time. Especially if you are not showing your hurt... People are weird.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
06/30/16 04:15:29AM
82 posts

From freakout to out of place


Empath

Is there a bath or a shower handy? Rubbing a tablespoon or so of salt onto the solar plexus and then either soak in the bath with it, or shower your whole body and head as you shower it off imagining distressing energies detaching and going away from you down the drain. Go for a long walk somewhere safe and with some greenery around if you can find it, or hang out in a cathedral, maybe? When in doubt, stomp and shower it out! And drink plenty of fresh water. :)

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
06/25/16 04:10:20PM
82 posts

What about non empaths?


Empath

Well, non-empaths can still feel the basics. Take the expression "You could cut the air with a knife." Most people, aside from the most obtuse and unobservant, the self-involved and insensitive, can walk into a room after there's been an argument and know that something has gone on.

The average person can often times get "a gut feeling"; they can get a warning about someone deep in the pit of their guts; they can listen to their intuition via body feelings: "I had a bad feeling about her/that house" etc. They can get "butterflies" around someone.

It's not that cut and dried, to my mind.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
06/19/16 09:55:58PM
82 posts

The great struggle


Empath

It sure is one weird trip! :)

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
06/19/16 04:47:06PM
82 posts

The great struggle


Empath

"The logical part of me says that metaphysical things are not real, however, the other feeling part of me says that they are real."

I struggled with this for a mighty long time, and can still go back into 'Gosh, how embarrassing, I made all of that up!" The last several years I am more stable in accepting this is going on, and hence take better care of myself and get onto things quicker to flush them out, disassociate from them, etc. But for me it has been a long journey just to get here.

I've hinted around this to a therapist I used to see, who was aware I had a very reactive nervous system and considerable past trauma and put it down to that without blinking too much of an eye - but expect most medical professionals would think I was delusional if I went into explaining it full-bore. So I can relate to your hesitancy. It is a dilemma.

"How do I reconcile the two parts of myself? Maybe I am crazy :)"

I think that is a healthy question to keep in mind. Too many people do some quiz on the internet and next thing it's "OMG I is empathy!" I think I finally wore my doubts down by collating so much evidence. I keep a journal recording various things anyway and am very much aware of my baseline state, and then the major changes that are care of miscellaneous pick-ups stand out (I still check I'm not conflating/imagining/projecting my own stuff). Sometimes I think, what if I die, whoever reads this will think I'm mad!

Maybe start acting as if this IS real - you can always change your mind at a later date...

I think daily grounding, centring and recharging of oneself is very important (for me, at any rate). Maybe introduce a care package for yourself that you do every day - whether that is a brief period meditating, showers or baths taken with intent to cleanse and rebalance, light visualisations, prayer, intention setting and affirmations, flushing as well as grounding and shielding, etc etc. Baths also help me with chronic pain - I add Epsoms, sea salt, and bicarb.

I find Caroline van Kimmenade's videos and articles helpful and calming. If you don't know her site, here is a link:

http://thehappysensitive.com/being-empathic-versus-being-empath-crucial-differences/

Where she goes into Empaths and Worldview further down the piece, I think is really important. She doesn't give any answers, really - unless you shell out for her expensive coaching! I am not sure there are any real answers for this, but we figure out our own way with it, eventually, amassing information and little tips and tricks; some work, some don't; slowly, slowly, I think.

Good luck with your employment. Getting calm and centred in your (painful) body, day by day, and looking after it and you is the best advice I can think of from my own experience. Courage! :)

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
06/18/16 06:16:28PM
82 posts

Channelling


Empath

I think so. I have cracked and once broken in half some perfectly good rocks/crystals that way! Why not channel the energy into the earth? She's big enough to handle it. Trees can be helpful, also. Ask permission, though.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
06/18/16 03:48:10PM
82 posts

Cleansing and dealing with different energies and feelings


Empath

I would say the converse is true, DemiPanda - if you are so proud and arrogant regarding your own abilities, without guides you may become truly misguided and destructive to others and ultimately to yourself.

Guides...guide. There are plenty of blank areas to learn and quest and colour in for oneself. You may well be working with guides and not know it, in any case. (I sort of doubt it.)

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
06/16/16 02:52:15PM
82 posts

Types of people


Empath

I call them apaths. I think they are the bulk of the population. Apath doesn't have a very friendly sound, but it seems to some up the situation.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
06/14/16 06:10:56PM
82 posts

What is this???


Empath

Empathy is a big thing in academic circles currently - but mostly they are not discussing being an empath or anything much regarding what an empath experiences, just normal human empathy or the lack of it, where it is located, as such, in the brain, why some people seem to have none, the role in the rise in clinical narcissism and sociopathy, in psychopathy, in mass murderous movements, genocide, etc etc.

A lot of empaths are quite low in empathy. You do get burnt out. :)

I shouldn't worry about what he is saying, it's just a point of view and part of the general global interest in empathy as a trait.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
06/14/16 05:32:53PM
82 posts

Energy body restoration/ soul retrieval


Healers

Thanks! Will load in the gold.

Usually I use whatever I am guided to or intuit to use, mostly pastels, or occasionally a vivid cobalt blue or purple for specific areas. A lot of the old-time healers use pale blue only, they are dying off or dead now I guess; emerald green is not something I use much, even though I love green, but I was reminded of it listening to a cd in the car.

This is true about the immune system, I hadn't thought of that; but for some reason I feel v bad about these guys who are on their way out, though. It's so funny! Thanks for your encouragement.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
06/14/16 04:26:22PM
82 posts

Energy body restoration/ soul retrieval


Healers

That is very interesting about the Olive Leaf Extract. I wrote if off as yet another thing that people take, but have heard some specific responses to it recently and now your experience with clients, etc, and am intrigued.

I don't know about Soul Retrieval - am so shattered I'd be hoovering bits back forever, I think. But I am interested in the role that foreign entities play in using one's body as a host - whether they be viruses, bacteria, or these mycobacterium, that I've not heard of before (or dark and disturbed energies, or entities). Very interesting.

Have had a cascade of autoimmune problems and at least one was posited to be abacterial (as well as incurable), and I have worked on them/it in particular with coloured lights. I use my hands and light (seen with the interior eye) and bathe afflicted parts, as well as taking a lot of baths in the physical. It is vastly improved, or gone, after a very horrible decade; I am quite surprised.

I tend to think of all foreign energies, of whatever source or type, as in need of returning to sender (transformed by love and healing, ideally), or returning to Source for transmutation, recycling, or whatever it chooses to do!

Am clearing out something at the moment (physical) with the aid of newly developed drugs, and I feel so guilty!! Really, I am killing it - so I have to see it go, aided by emerald green light and I say sorry, goodbye, so long, farewell, we've been together so long but you must go now, but I feel so guilty... What comes in its place, what remains in its place... emptiness!? I just envisage the entire body flooded and bathed in the emerald green and ask for healing in its place, so maybe new growth, and space for health? I pray for it as it goes. Everything dies, but it is sad to think of it dying. Out of death, new life.

This is not really much of an answer to your interesting post. I am not a practising healer. I only took up healing studies to shut up all the healers I know who kept telling me I was a healer, and to (I hoped) halt the flow of other people's physical pains and problems, and for the last several years with an eye to healing my own. My sense is I must heal myself first. So far, so good.

I think foreign energy can really clog a person up, affect their mind, their emotions, their worldview and outlook, and very much their bodily health. I do daily cleansings for such and feel calling for grace and protections from such is important and I feel I would most likely not be alive today if I had not begun and persisted with this energy work.
Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
06/12/16 04:01:03PM
82 posts

Feeling the Love


Empath

nvm

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
06/12/16 03:55:57PM
82 posts

Feeling the Love


Empath

You may be qualified to say that - but that is not what you said.

Thank you for the further put-down.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
06/11/16 04:02:15PM
82 posts

Feeling the Love


Empath

Okay. Spend a bit of time in a supermax prison, a drug detox, or working on a mental health team and get back to me about the amazing powers of 'love' as a block to negative and disturbing energy! And isn't that 'love' your form of a shield, in any case?

Why you have bought into the false dichotomy of 'love' v 'fear' - which was 'channeled' by a woman who later disavowed the work and rued the publication of it, and died depressed and some say insane - beats me. But that's another question; it has infiltrated the social psyche pretty thoroughly by now, at any rate.

It also bothers me that you have to put down others' beliefs and practices, and yet remain so steadfastly ignorant of what those practices may be, or why they were instigated in the first place.

Jesus Christ, who was no slouch himself when it came to emanating and understanding the power of love, used the form of protection we call prayer.

If you want to not shield, not pray for protection, not visualise the light of the Holy Spirit surrounding you, etc- that's fine. If that works foryou, that's good.But please afford others the same respect and courtesy of allowing them their beliefs.

I know many people I respect who no longer shield. Good for them. I am ancient, long aware of my empath thing, and reasonably well-versed in various suggested practices, and haveheard both sides of the shield/not shield discussion many a time. And yet I have still not 'moved on from it' - after an experimental yearwhere I was shamed into not using my light protection, and really learnt why it is better for me to protect. And if you went into some of the environments I visit, you (unshielded) would most likely keel over and die on the spot, with stark white hair!

To each their own, Bruce. Perhaps be grateful you are less...er...sensitive, than some.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
06/01/16 04:19:46PM
82 posts

Why do I feed bad for not helping someone?


Empath

Like you said, he's you coworker. He's not one of your chosen friends. It's sad he's having intense personal issues, but you are not his paid counsellor. If he was a close friend you might be prepared to be supportive, but even then you'd be wrecked by it and have to have your limits.

The fact that we get physically affected by their stuff would be incomprehensible to someone in his state. I find myself in this position a lot, where I feel mean and they're telling me I am mean, for not getting involved and 'helping'/dying for them - but I just can't do it to myself any more.

Keep up your own happiness and protective energies. Tell him to talk to a counsellor, or if it's a big company do they have an HR person or something? His stuff is not yours to fix.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
06/01/16 04:03:57PM
82 posts

Narcissist Blindside


Empath

Oh, that sounds awful. Chalk it up to a nasty learning curve. It took me ages to listen and fully trust the rumbles I felt - I thought for a long time it was all me and I was either imagining things or it was my post Narcissist PTSD, or I was too sensitive and a bit nuts, or something.

It's great you'll be out of there in a few days, if I understand correctly. Some people are just bullies, and institutional bullying occurs, and Narcissists tend to be plausible out in the world, and also to develop cohorts of supporters.

Be kind to yourself now. You will recover your equilibrium. And don't beat up on yourself for not listening to yourself. It's how we learn, most times, unfortunately. :)

(I also think that urge to 'fix it' comes from a child place. "This time I'll make it right." For me it just keeps coming up. It's really sad on one level, but also really valiant, that child lingering inside trying to make their living conditions and the crazy people around them come good and finally treat them right.)
Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
05/15/16 06:36:15PM
82 posts

Conversation problems


Empath

This describes almost everyone I know! There are a rare few who are interested in me, and interested in a mutual conversation. I seem to attract or allow these other types - even after years of working on not getting into this situation.

To a degree, I don't mind it in small doses, as I don't really want to talk about my life etc, but it is really insulting at times - and these types are usually only bothering with me because they want to be calmed, or do a dump. An emotional/energy dump. And then I leave energetically disturbed as well as knowing I am 'beneath them' in their minds, in some weird way.

We do seem to be like candle flames for the more self-obsessed moths!

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
05/06/16 06:17:36PM
82 posts

One of those days...


Empath

I feel I have had one of those lives... my entire life I have had people come up to me and dump their jangled emotions on me, as if I'd be thrilled to perform that service - even when I was a tiny little girl.

It really is exhausting. I also find it very inappropriate, but on it goes.

I think you have to protect yourself and take care of yourself as best you can. I got really ill when I didn't do that (beforeI knew much about how, and also after I was shamed into dropping it for a while as 'who needs protection!'). Now I trust myself more.

Still have to work like the blazes to not be made ill, and still no matter how disinterested I grow have these random others bolting up to me and doing a big dump. (It does not flush out of me easily, I can tell you. Sorry for the imagery!)

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
05/04/16 05:35:48PM
82 posts

How important is your diet


Empath

I think diet can help with grounding - lots of water (always) to keep things flowing,and roots vegetables when ungrounded are helpful.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
04/16/16 04:48:10PM
82 posts

Any empaths have digestive problems?


Empath

There was a woman who used to post on the old Empath Tribes site who I found helpful in a lot of ways - and she used to say that we needed to resize our Solar Plexus chakras, that they should be no more than five inches across,I think it was.

Mine was blasted wide open until recently which was nice for everyone else, but no so nice for me. I have made some effort since then to resize mine by gently drawing a small clockwise (digestive system direction) on my solar plexus and encouraging it to close down a bit, just gently tracing the circle when I am out in an emotionally charged situation, etc etc, or when I feel alarm, if I think of it, and telling it to be smaller now.

I think mine got that way through trauma. Good for survival - but no way to live a life.

I also rub my abdomen in that clockwise (if I was wearing a clockface, clockwise facing out ie) direction and use heat packs to soothe it if need be. Hands on stuff for an empath can be very healing as we (or I do!) tend to have healing hands.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
04/13/16 05:17:31PM
82 posts

Any empaths have digestive problems?


Empath

Any Virgos who don't have digestive problems?!

When I was younger, from childhood strongly and into my thirties, my empath expressed itself through my digestive system, very painful. The more I've got to understand it and listen to it and learn to look after myself, the less problems I have in this area, thank god.

I have noticed if I sit next to someone with say wind problems, I will instantly pick up wild wind! People with eating disorders really set my gut off, also. But it's clearly not mine and leaves with a bit of awareness and healing attention from me before I get home, usually. Learning to recognize this stuff - not mine - and clear it, is a wonderful thing.

If I'm distressed or anxious, I experience my own set of symptoms in this area - but it has all got a lot better with age, and learning self-care, I guess.

In answer to your questions - I think it can be a combo of all three, and it all works in an interactive way - the gut brain, the empath antennae (largely centred in the gut areas, in my view), the nervous system - all interplaying and relating messages to one another. The sooner you can get your physical gut soothed, and this needs emotional and psychological soothing to occur, the sooner you'll feel better on all levels, and also start making room in your gut over time for greater clarity.

For me it took many years to get any clarity, so I worked on the physical and emotional aspects of my painful digestive tract issues(a lot of anxiety)- but really it was a godsend for me as it all got so bad and sent me such strong messages about who was okay for me to be around and who wasn't in my personal and social life, I made some good life changes as a result of it.

Good luck with your situation.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
04/13/16 05:01:25PM
82 posts

Problems with attending spiritual events


Empath

All the time. People who attend 'spiritual' events are often highly disturbed individuals, I've found, who are looking for solace or healing or fixing, with no idea how to balance or heal themselves, or a lot of wrong ideas; also a lot who are scammers or naive idealists, looking for a quick way to increase their 'psychic powers,' so they can set up a stall somewhere... A lot of disturbed people with unaddressed drug and alcohol issues attend these sorts of things, I've found, also (and some others with a level of entity contamination, though those are more rare, and very horrid to be near) - as well as a lot of fine and benign people, gifted people, and slightly misguided people, etc. I have attended a lot of these things over the years.

I tend to pick up the emotional energy most of all, and anyone who is disturbed rings loud in my body. It's very unpleasant. And really the last thing you expect or want from attending a so-called spiritual gathering.

Healing events are a no-go for me as I already pick up random physical pain and conditions from whoever sits next to or in any sort of proximity to me. A meditation group, which I like to do, can be very disturbing, therefore, so I am careful where I sit if that's possible.

The gym - I'd expect bad energy - aggro, anxiety, inchaote rage, etc, insecurity, panic. The general population are pretty stuffed, and go to such places to release, consciously or unconsciously. Balls of rage and/or panic - not nice.

People in general these days are carrying a lot of stuff and it tends to unload into people like us, like a bloodstain in a nice white sheet.

The cathedral, I can't say really - unless (from my p.o.v.) some really creepy person had sat there, and glumly pondered their evil deeds, etc! Maybe a crime world family funeral the day before!

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
03/26/16 09:18:44PM
82 posts

Empath as a Filter


Empath

I thought it was an interesting review. I wasn't suggesting you or anyone else should shield, or give up shielding, or anything else. I didn't think the review said that either!

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
03/26/16 04:32:36PM
82 posts

Empath as a Filter


Empath

I think this is a thoughtful review of that book:

http://www.greenheartguidance.com/blog/review-of-the-reluctant-empath

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
03/20/16 12:26:30AM
82 posts

to feel or not to feel?


Empath

I think one should feel one's own emotions, and then let them go, in the natural course of things.

But other people's energies/emotions?! No! That is one sure way to get them to hang around and become difficult to cleanse/shed, in my experience. I take enough time to discern, not mine!, and try not to dwell at any great length on whose/how/when?, these days.

I tend to get stuck with stuff if I pay too much attention to it before poofing it out. If it's mine (it usually isn't) I trust it will come back!

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
03/05/16 05:59:18PM
82 posts

figuring out if i'm an empath or not


Empath

For what it's worth, I think you are an empath. And your English is fine.

I very much related to your self-doubt and questioning is it this or that, and not wanting to jump in and make assumptions that is is something out of the ordinary human range; or that it is not, perhaps, just some hyper-alertness c/- past trauma. I think it is helathy doubt. One doesn't want to fly off with the fairies and become entirely delusional, or ascribe paranormal explanations to things that have simple everyday explanations, or are in the normal human realm of discernment. It took me a long time to accept this thing was real, a very long time. I still wonder if I've just gone mad...

I don't particularly consciously 'read' people over the internet. I just pick up the overall feeling-tone and decide if I want to engage or not. What came to me was an immense but light sadness. Perhaps it is the sadness of not knowing if you fit in or not in the world. That's how it felt, a tired sadness. Life is very lonely and tiring, sometimes, particularly when you are doing other people's feelings for them against your own will,

Anyway, welcome. Hope you find some answers or verification for yourself here.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
02/29/16 03:26:37PM
82 posts

Being an Empath is truly a gift :)


Empath

Not to be argumentative, as that seems to be how you read me, Lotusfly, but I do feel it necessary to point out the following:

Jesus took an unknown amount of time to become the greatest healer the world has ever known - not to become 'awakened'. I think you've sold the Buddha a bit short, also.

The 'awakening' of an empath (which I find a dubious concept) is not in any way the same as the great enlightenment, sudden or gradual, of a realised master.

Back on topic: My personal take on 'being an empath is truly a gift' is that it is a gift one cannot give back.

For many of us it is not all sunshine and rainbows and dolphins. I think there is a lot of confusion about what 'the gift' entails.

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
02/23/16 01:48:35AM
82 posts

Empath or Profiler?


Empath

Er...

'I think the reason why adults dont get traumatized from verbal abuse is that they don't have to be around the abuser.'

'Another reason why adults won't be traumatized by verbal abuse is that they won't internalize it, because they will usually have other people to go to to talk about it and get an objective opinion.'

I see no 'most'.

'Jesus christ, can you address what I actually said for once and stop putting words in my mouth?'

This is starting to sound more and more like crazy talk. I have put no words in your mouth. We have no relationship. There is no 'for once'. Please contain your rage here.

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