Stunning! I wish I were that good with painting
updated by @kit-kat: 01/05/17 02:57:51AM
Thank you for the advice! Belief really is powerful.. My awakening was a lot like how you described yours, so I'm not sure why it wasn't enough to keep me seeing myself as an empath all the time. I'm starting to think this is a more unique problem than I thought
But yeah, believing that I have a "mission" as an empath has always inspired me and helped me to recognize my abilities as gifts. Thanks for the projected reminders That's so sweet of you!
ha ha I know, it's so much easier (less close). Wow, complimenting hugs isn't very common, I don't think.. yours must really be amazing; maybe ppl can tell that I feel awkward about hugs lol.
Are you an INFJ personality type by chance? Just curious
First, I can totally relate to what you said about people touching you who are even slightly narcissistic! For me, it definitely sparks all of the emotion of what I imagine they are trying to gain, and then I get (at least a little) perturbed. YEAH, it's almost like they need us for themselves.. such an awful feeling
It sounds like you're a lot like me with regard to physical touch. I -most of the time- feel awkward about it. Awhile back my grandpa (who doesn't know anything about empaths, and I would never tell him that I am one) pointed out that I gave 'half hugs' and tried to 'teach' me how to hug properly (as if it's hard). Ever since then I've been more careful to give full-on hugs, but also hugs have felt even more awkward for me. Anyway. That's just hugs. I've never been in a romantic relationship (INFJ, emotional empath <-- my excuses lol) so I can't speak with regard to those experiences, but I do really crave the touch of those whose love for me would be pure.
Sometimes the love of my family members is more pure than at other times, so at least there's that. And I think massage is one of the most healing things in the world, if it's given in selflessness.
I think that, with the person you talked about, who has the 'comfortable aura,' you've found a true friend. Touch communicates so much emotion, and those who have something to hide generally do not send out such peaceful energy (from my experience).
lol I just finished reading the last paragraph of your post and so I wrote what's above before seeing that you talked about "'real' hugs" too I do think that it's good for us, in seeking to be healers, to stretch by way of service. Touching others willfully is generally out of my comfort zone, too, but, having taken this time to think more about it, I think we could probably help people even more in this way.
Well I recently learned that the part of the brain that experiences physical pain is the same part that experiences emotional pain. So I say, confront the person like you're ripping off a glued-on bandaid (which I know is what it can emotionally feel like). The sooner it's over the less long you'll have to worry about what will happen.
I'm the same way - I hate confrontation/conflict of any kind... I suppose it's worse for me when I don't see it coming, when it comes from someone else. But either way it's hard! I once had to force myself to wake someone up from a nap (who I knew was in a bad mood) because she was going to be late for something. It was awful and it took me at least, like 10 minutes to build up to it :/ Also, I had to make a difficult phone call recently, so when someone dialed the number when I wasn't quite "ready" (to get me to stop procrastinating), it turned out to be a good thing. I think we, being empaths, just have to do this for ourselves when no one else is there to push out on "on stage" so to speak.
I feel your pain... Love & light to you, too Hope all goes well..
Sending you all the light I can <3 It's my belief that this earth life is a lot like hell, but that a fullness of joy is available to us in eternity if we endure it well. Are you religious? For me, believing in God and Jesus Christ has saved my life. I'd love to talk to you more about religion if you want--if maybe that might help.
And if your family really does see you as a disappointment, then that is a shame for them because even just from reading your posts on this community I can tell that you're are an amazing person. I'm not just saying that; you've really inspired me.
Have hope, everything will be alright.
H.O.P.E. (Hold On, Pain Ends)
Thanks for your reply Karen! I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling this way about social settings.. It feels like I see and feel everything, and yet I'm missing the big picture somehow.
Wow, that must be hard to be bus driver.. Very loud! I guess loudness sometimes reminds me that I'm an empath, but the most challenging social setting for me every week is church, which is relatively quiet.
That's good advice to withdraw; sometimes I even forget I have that option :/ haha And taking things more slowly I think might help, too.
Sending you all the positive energy I can <3 I wish I had more.. I'm dealing with similar difficulties. & depression. In other words, you're not alone
Looks really aren't everything. Sometimes movie stars even can seem "ugly" when they're playing the role of a villain. The most ugly-sounding person that you talked about is that guy who gave you a dirty look. That's highly unattractive to treat another human being that way. I'm really sorry you've been treated that way!
I think you may be right about people avoiding empaths. People are afraid of what's "different" but in the end confidence and kindness always will be some of the most attractive qualities, no matter what.
I think because we're looking for people like us as friends that friends are rare and hard to come by, despite being able to relate to others so well. It is hard for me, too... For me, though, going to church helps because at least there we're all meant to be united in the same purpose, which is a good feeling.
Common ground is the basis of any great relationship, but I just think sometimes we have to settle for "good" rather than "great." At least we can be "great" friends for others
I am sensitive in almost every aspect... Sensitive to color, sight, sound, touch, smell (I can't handle colognes and perfumes.. I prefer the smell of nothing lol), taste... you name it, I'm probably sensitive to it. It sounds like you're a very visual person - so am I!
Lately my hearing has been so sensitive that I've wanted to wear earplugs at night and throughout the day :/
On top of it all, it's kind of funny that I have a mostly-high pain tolerance
p.s. I can relate SO MUCH to what you wrote about pictures.. It makes me angry when people make me squint into the sun for a picture, and now I have a better idea as to why - I think I'm more sensitive to light that others are, like you were saying! I feel like the sun is burning holes in my retinas haha
Oh yeah - does anyone else have a complex about photos in general?
I feel like I look like a completely different person in pictures than in real life, so I've always tried to avoid being in front of a camera. It makes me so uncomfortable...
You're welcome I'm glad others have found it interesting, too! I know it can be addictive, though so watch out! Especially the "name compatibility" aspect of it.
I've tried my name with so many different guys names... & what's really funny is that it was completely accurate about what kind of relationship I would have with a "Jake". It described the relationship as "torrid," which has been the case with two "Jake"s that I have known in my life. It has been like there was practically electricity between us, & being an empath is kind of like that already, so you can imagine how overwhelmed I was being around them. Like getting an electric shock of emotional energy!
I really like your ideas about names! That's interesting because like I said, w/ my name it says "hypersensitive," but I feel less hypersensitive when I'm called by any of my many nicknames (I have like, 20 nicknames haha). So I think you're right that the names we're called by make the biggest difference in who we are.
The difference between a "Jacob" and a "Jake" (as an example) is profound, and I would go a lot better with a Jacob rather than a Jake, so that kind of goes along with what you were saying!
Hi C. Cat!
haha That makes sense then why you wouldn't want to go by your middle name! That's crazy that your husband's name didn't fit him at all.. Maybe he didn't like those attributes when he was young, so he chose to be the opposite of them?
I know - I've emailed the creators of the site, but they haven't gotten back to me. I have about 10 questions for them One being, "is there a way to submit names that aren't in the database"? I've thought of a handful that aren't in there. 'Phineas" for example isn't there, and I thought that one was pretty common.
Wow, this is so interesting that we've had such similar experiences.. Sometimes I'm treated like an angel, too! It's like people don't quite know how to respond to our lifestyle choices and who we are.
"Soul tired"... that's so true. So many people to help, but not enough time/resources/energy. I think being an empath is like having tons and tons of spiritual energy, but not enough physical energy to capture it all.
I always feel like I have lots of vibrational energy trapped within me, but that my soul is drooping at the same time. And I feel tired almost all the time.
Oh my goodness YES!!! I knew I had to reply when I read what you wrote about being called "too nice" haha (Multiple people have called me 'too nice' as well! In those words exactly, too)
Also I can relate to feeling TERRIBLE if someone finds out they offended me in any way. I -strongly dislike- that feeling
I've noticed that the people who are most drawn to me are those with disabilities, those who are suffering, and those who are shy/fearful of being emotionally hurt. No one can cater to others' needs as well as we can, so I think that's why we're seen as "safe" people to talk to. Sometimes people offend me and I make sure they don't find out that they have...
I experience something similar.. I have to have at least 30 minutes by myself to unwind at the end of the day, or no matter what I will have too much energy to sleep! lol
Oh & also I know what you mean about getting into movies so much - Sometimes I'm so far lost in a movie that I experience it as though it were real (kind of like over-identifying with book characters). I heard once that this is an empath trait Sometimes the characters even feel to me like they're real. For example, Finny from the book A Separate Peace is real in my mind...
Cool analogy! I think that describes it really well...
I've also heard that - similar to the animal kingdom - there need to be a certain amount of 'highly sensitive people' in a society because these people (kind of like animals in a herd) can sense danger coming before anyone else can. They're far more on guard than the others.
In a herd of animals, the highly sensitive ones are the first ones to run if there's a predator, and the other ones follow after them.
That's really interesting.. You may be right! I actually haven't checked the description of my middle name to see if it describes me - I'll have to do that.
It does seem to me like words and names have intrinsic meaning. I think they're powerful somehow beyond the generally accepted understanding of "words having power."
So.. I don't normally post any discussions on here But I've been thinking about names a lot lately, and wanted to see what you guys think about how our names effect who we are.
There's this site (that I'm semi-obsessed with):http://www.first-names-meanings.com
I am amazed at how accurate this site is with regard to numerology and name interpretation... What I really wonder, though, is: would I be a different person if my parents had named me something else? It really seems like it.. especially since even the name descriptions for some of my nicknames seem to be accurate in describing me.
One of the first things that the description for my name says is "hypersensitive and emotional." Maybe this is why I am an empath?
I've always felt like I could be whoever I wanted to be, but that I couldn't change my sensitivity levels/empathic nature.
Anyway, I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on this!
Interesting. I tend to wake up on even times, especially "on the hour" and on the half-hour. I think it's because I feel better energy from even numbers than odd ones.
I can wake up at almost any time I want to, though, if I just say to myself "okay, I want to wake up at ___ time." I think it's amazing how we can have internal timers like that
Well I definitely don't have the best track record with wanting to give hugs. There are few times when I want to because it feels so overwhelming... Even if I really love someone and want them to know that. Sometimes it's overwhelming because it just feels too emotionally close, but other times it's overwhelming because of the other person's emotions/whatever they're dealing with at the time.
I'm not sure why I fear closeness so much? Does anyone have any ideas about that?
Anyway. Hand shakes are less difficult, but I try to avoid those, too :/ Other people's energies come through every time I'm around them, but with any kind of physical touch it's like I can feel way more.
Don't worry, I think most of us are fellow thinkers and wonderers too
As for your question; I do feel people that way as well, without trying to... It is strange how our perceptions do this without trying, whereas others are far more oblivious. I especially get a sense of who someone is if I look into his or her eyes, even just in a picture.
I can relate to the feeling of "invasion of privacy." But I also believe that we're meant to be empathic for various reasons, and that we are typically also gifted with being caring and kind (due to high levels of sensitivity), so that we can use these gifts for good purposes. It's not as though we choose to be this way, but I've never found a more "real" group of people than this community, so in that way these gifts give back to us. Our eyes are more open in a lot of ways, compared to the average human being
That's very interesting.. to wonder what you feel like. I wonder what I feel like, too.. I want to see myself the way that people see me, but I feel like that's impossible, since I am a chameleon type of empath.
Oh wow, I can't believe how much what you're dealing with is like what I'm dealing with..... I'm 23 and I've been on a very similar health issues journey, while my twin sister doesn't have physical issues hardly at all.
I, too, don't want to exercise because of physical symptoms, have chest-tightness and breathing issues, have muscle tension, anxiety attacks (where it feels like energy is built up in my body), reactions to bananas and carbs (TONS of food sensitivities), acid reflux issues, and problems from talking too much (mostly jaw issues, and sinus problems). I also have lots of digestive problems. Being sick is such a difficulty.. I really feel for you!
The best things I can recommend (that have helped me) are:
Eating all organic food, cranberry juice, exercise (as long as it's not too rough), chewing slowly and being relaxed while eating, music therapy, healing frequency music, eating less grains - especially wheat and corn, taking B Vitamins (but not too much), taking vitamin C (but not too much), Maca root powder (for hormonal imbalance), positive affirmations (e.g. telling myself that "everything will be alright" as much as possible), spending more time outdoors, eating less sugar (including fructose), going to sleep earlier/getting more sleep, and keeping my diet sufficiently alkaline (should be 80% alkaline, 80% acidic).
Hopefully some of this might help! I hope it does
<3 I can really relate to so much of what you're dealing with, including PTSD (such a hard thing to overcome). I feel like a major misfit in society
But I think that on the other hand I haven't wanted relationships a lot of times because it's "too much" too feel, since I already feel a lot of emotions on a daily basis. I get so overwhelmed. On the other hand, loneliness is terrible.
I hope that you find more people in your life who are more kind-hearted and understanding. We all need people like that!
I do think that since we're empaths we experience boredom differently than others. For example, I'm so multi-interested that I can very easily start something without finishing it. I get bored, so I move on. This isn't always a bad thing, though! Sometimes it pays off because I do end up being somewhat productive, and I still grow in my overall abilities.
That's sad that your parents never learned how to have fun.. My mom says the same thing, too, but she still let's me (try to) teach her how to have fun It seems like everyone needs to have fun, even if they say they don't.
For me, in order to have fun I need to be with others who have the same intention, or I need to be alone doing whatever sounds the best to me at the time. "Fun" is sometimes a hard label to place It seems like I never stop planning my life around others, which makes it hard to experience fun as deeply as I want to. I think "fun" is when I decide to include myself more in the plans, or when I can find more joy in the plans, and not be so afraid of others' negative feelings.
Can relate.... I think it's because we can feel that they are the way they are because they have been mistreated, too. The best case scenario is probably to feel sorry for them! But if I do anything to hurt them (like they've most likely hurt me) I just feel guilty, even if it's just an accident.. :/
Great discussion topic!
The question I would've said before tonight was: "How can we forgive ourselves?" But I received (at least part of) the answer tonight
I was thinking about it and I determined that validation is more important than I thought. When we look back on the past and validate the things were were going through at the time that we did __ whatever thing wrong it was __ then it becomes possible to feel compassion (love and mercy) toward ourselves.
It was a cool discovery for me, since I've been wondering about this for a long time...
That sounds frustrating.. Complaining definitely gets tiresome. As far as advice goes:
"Example isn't another way to teach, it is the only way to teach." -Albert Einstein
-Set an example of being assertive and honest, without complaining.
-Maybe point it out to them, depending on how willing to change they are. A lot of people complain without realizing it; maybe they don't see how bad it is.
Hope this might help
Have you heard of S.I.B.O.? The symptoms you mentioned are similar to what I had/have... I had multiple G.I. doctors write my symptoms off as IBS and "psychological issues" like anxiety, so I did my own research for cures, and now things are better (not perfect, but 1000X more manageable).
I recently found out I had SIBO (Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth) For anyone suffering from IBS - this may very well be the answer for you It is one of the leading causes of IBS. I would love to help anyone I can by sharing this info. - especially since I suffered for about two years with terrible symptoms before I found out what was really wrong. Also, this condition can be treated homeopathically, which is amazing I still have a finicky digestive system, but at least the pain is going away...
-Organic cranberry Juice
-Turmeric (the more Curcuminoids the better)