Forum Activity for @kit-kat

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
08/13/15 08:47:31PM
230 posts

Feeling Dirty


Empath

Journaling is awesome; I should do that more...

You're welcome! I hope it helps :)

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
08/13/15 07:19:40PM
230 posts

Just joined


Empath

You're welcome! Yeah, I'd love to share some things...

So I moved recently from a dorm room back home, and I feel like this is much of the reason why I'm doing better. Here are the differences in lifestyle/environment :)

DORM

Stuffy, cramped living space

2 roommates (one was my sister, so that was awesome, but the other one had major issues. She lied to us and stole our food, for example..)

Hardly any time alone

Stressful workload

Lots of sitting, and not much time outside (with hardly any time in nature)

An okay diet, but with not enough fruits and vegetables

HOME

A huge contrast...

Free, open living space, with lots more light coming in

High level of cleanliness - my Mom cares about this a ton, which I love

My own room

Time alone in the morning and before bed (I find that not sleeping in the same space as someone else really helps me - because it's possible to absorb their energy throughout the night, which can lead to waking up feeling drained)

A much lighter workload, which is temporary, but I'm really grateful for it

Plenty of time to be creative and to spend time in nature

No toxic energy anymore - since that one roommate is out of my life

A much better diet - with more variety and produce (I actually try to keep my diet mostly organic, which helps a lot, but it's totally understandable if that's too expensive. I have a reaction to nonorganic food that is not pleasant, so it's a big priority for me)

A way more active lifestyle - getting exercise almost every day and walking around more

These are the things I think have helped me the most. Hopefully there are a couple suggestions here that might be helpful for you.

Also, here are some more general tips:

I'm not sure what your health problems are, but if they relate to your back and digestive system, this is really common with empaths.

One of the best pieces of advice I've received comes from Trevor Lewis' articleThriving as an Empath. It basically says that if we focus on sending out positive energy then we will be far more protected from negative energy. So far I think this is really true! And I think that by taking care of ourselves physically, having a healthy environment, seeking out the best and most uplifting entertainment..etc. we can fill our souls with light, which can then be shared.

And lastly, I think you're right to not try to block your empathy. We have these gifts for a reason, so that we can help others in the world who are suffering. The most happiness I've found is from using my abilities to help other people.. It doesn't get better than that :)

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
08/12/15 08:27:55PM
230 posts

Just joined


Empath

Welcome to the EC! I hope you find all you need here :) I know, being an empath sure can be hard on us physically... but I hope this site is helpful for you. My health problems have gotten better already, and I'm still pretty new to understanding what being an empath means, so never give up hope!

(sorry, I'm not sure about the answer to the cat's eye question)

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
08/12/15 08:19:45PM
230 posts

Ahh my


Empath

Cloie,

Wow, I think that's so cool that your mother was an empath and your sisters are too! I come from a family of "highly sensitive people" but as far as I know I'm the only empath (my grandma might have been, but she's passed away).

I wish I had a better answer to your questions.. But first of all, I think the answer to determining how rational emotions are will be different for everyone. For example, I'm still learning how to tell if emotions are coming from me or from others, but I think for the most part, my feelings are reliable once I figure them out :) In the situation you describe, though, I think if it's a regular occurrence for you to have a lot of intuition about the future, then the worry was probably rational, but if you're like me, and you mostly have feelings about the immediate or near future, then it might be a result of your imagination, or the nurturer in you.

It must be a little bit challenging to be around other empaths, and not be able to hide your feelings when you need more time to think... I definitely rely on having time to figure out what I want to share, and what I want to process more. But I hope this is at least somewhat helpful! :)

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
08/12/15 08:05:47PM
230 posts



Hi! Welcome back :)


updated by @kit-kat: 01/15/17 05:02:12PM
Kit Kat
@kit-kat
08/12/15 08:04:18PM
230 posts

out of control. .


Empath

I totally have these moments, too... It's especially difficult when it's uncontrollable. Definitely hard to explain to people! This recently happened to me while I was in a public setting, and it was awful.

My advice is to let the emotions come out - holding them in will most likely feel like self-betrayal. Does this bother your husband and family because they don't know what to do? I'm just curious about what you mean by "damage control"..

Anyway, if you have to explain to people who won't likely understand, I would say just be honest about your feelings. Sometimes I just say, "I feel really over-emotional" and I think that can potentially be a sufficient answer :)

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
08/12/15 07:55:40PM
230 posts

Newbie


Empath

Hi Allison,

It's nice to get to know you! Welcome to the EC! I can really relate to what you said about finding out you're an empath. For me, I just wasn't satisfied with the description, "highly sensitive person," so I was really grateful to learn about the pieces of the puzzle that were missing :)

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
08/12/15 07:46:09PM
230 posts



That really is a good question.. I've been thinking about this concept lately.

The closest I can come to an answer relates to physical wellbeing. And I know that emotions and thoughts affect our physical wellbeing tremendously, but what I'm referring to is physical stamina that's built up over time.

The more physical stamina I've been able to build up within my body (mostly through eating right and exercising), the more resilient I seem to be regarding the emotions of others. Meaning, I'm still understanding and perceptive, but I'm less physically affected by others' emotions.

Oh and one more thing: I think that examining how we're doing on a personal level (rather than what we may be absorbing) is important, because it can help us determine how susceptible we are. For example, when I'm depressed or anxious, it becomes really hard for me to channel positive energy to send out to others - one of the greatest ways I can protect myself from negative energy.

Hope this helps :)

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
08/12/15 07:36:27PM
230 posts

I need an empathetic friend


Empath

I definitely know what you mean.. Sometimes just having someone get it sounds like such a relief. It sounds like you really have to hide out from the friends in your life right now, and that's never good.

Is there anyone in your family who is more like you? Even just highly sensitive? From my own experience, I'm really close with my family members, and they make up for the lack of close friends in my life.

Why do your friends think that you don't give chances?

I hope more people come into your life who are accepting and kind. And at least you'll always have friends here on the EC! :)

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
08/12/15 07:26:41PM
230 posts

Feeling Dirty


Empath

Yes, I've definitely had experiences like this. I think it's pretty common, so you're not the only one!

It's good that washing your hands helps - Taking a shower can definitely help, too. But I know what you mean.. I restrict how many times I shower, and not just because of the drought where I live, but because I don't want to go the OCD route either :)

Maybe visualizations could help, like imagining that the dirt can't stick to you - that it just falls off (back to the earth).

Oh and I've found that it really helps for me to be completely alone for at least an hour every day. It's like my own thoughts and feelings purify my soul from others' energies. Hope this helps!

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
08/03/15 08:40:58PM
230 posts

Last Night


Empath

Thanks! I really appreciated your write-up by the way. I only read it last week, but it's already changed my life for the better! It's helping me a lot with overcoming anxiety and depression..

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
08/02/15 10:03:25PM
230 posts

Last Night


Empath

That is funny :) And you're so welcome! It's nice to get to know you

Yeah, I would certainly use the words 'rewarding' and 'overwhelming' to describe being an empath, too!

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
08/02/15 09:50:36PM
230 posts

Finding Myself


Empath

Hi Steve,

Welcome to the EC! Yes, you're definitely in the right place :) I can really tell you have some powerful empathic abilities - probably stronger than mine. But I can totally relate to what you said about feeling rather than thinking.. I know exactly what you mean. My family doesn't get that concept, but it's so great to hear that I'm not the only one who intrinsically "thinks in feelings" - as I put it. (for example, if I were to be talking about what the world would call 'social anxiety,' my family would say, 'well, can't you just change your thinking?' and I have to say 'no, I need to change my feelings!') Kind of funny...

If it helps, I think you're probably not bipolar. It's probably just that when doctors don't know how to explain physical or emotional symptoms they sometimes jump to conclusions, especially with empaths, because we're not as understood by western medicine. I'm sure they would label me with anxiety, depression, OCD, and lots of other issues, when that's not me at all.

Anyway, I hope you can find the answers you're looking for, too!

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
08/02/15 09:34:29PM
230 posts

Last Night


Empath

Hi Cloie,

It sounds to me like you have some really amazing abilities! I agree with everything Trevor said, and while I haven't had empathic experiences as strong as the ones you described, I do feel an inexplicable, emotional connection with most people, so in that way I can really relate to what you wrote.

I'm not sure what that feeling is called... However, I do know that emotional pain highly effects the abdomen because of the many, many nerve connections between the abdomen and the brain.

Also, I just read this online, and it might be helpful:

"An Empath heals instinctively, usually by drawing the pain or ailment out and accepting it into their own bodies. For obvious reasons, this is not recommended for anyone who doesnt know how to keep from becoming ill in the process."

Empathic gifts can be so incredible. They become challenging, though, when we can't stop them from hurting us. You may have had the headache because you took the waitress' emotional pain upon yourself, in which case I wouldrecommendlooking into healing without taking pain upon yourself.

Anyway, welcome to the empath community :) I hope you find everything you need!

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/31/15 02:54:18PM
230 posts

Is anyone else feeling lost?


Empath

that's so sweet <3 So do you!

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/30/15 10:56:23PM
230 posts

Is anyone else feeling lost?


Empath

Oh good I'm so glad that what I said helped :) And that's so great that you have your mom to be a support in your life - we all need people to be there for us (even if they don't fully understand)

Thank you :) I definitely believe we will find greater clarity with time

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/29/15 11:11:26PM
230 posts

Tears


Empath

Hey everyone! I just wanted to share this really interesting article I found about the structures of tears from different emotions. I thought it was AWESOME :)

Here it is:http://sploid.gizmodo.com/tears-of-joy-and-tears-of-sadness-look-different-under-1468602557

And if you want to see more:http://rose-lynnfisher.com/tears.html

I guess the reason I like this is that it helps to validate the reality of emotions - how they're not just manifested within ourselves, but from ourselves.

I love symbolism so much..


updated by @kit-kat: 02/20/17 01:42:07PM
Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/29/15 11:02:45PM
230 posts



Thanks! I think that's way cool :) The breathing exercise was really relaxing.


updated by @kit-kat: 03/19/17 04:22:41AM
Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/29/15 10:51:01PM
230 posts

Is anyone else feeling lost?


Empath

I know what you mean.. there are a LOT of times when I feel lonely, too. And being a part of this site does help, but I believe what we're looking for are deeper connections in our everyday lives. I'm really blessed to have a family that is very understanding, but there are still times when I wish people would understand me on the deep level that I seem to understand them (including my family)

I think, as you also mentioned, that making a difference in the world is at the heart of fulfillment for people like us. I feel this constant desire to be helping people. For me, it lessens the everyday loneliness because I can better see the beneficial aspects of these gifts. I hope something comes along for you, and that you keep looking for ways to make a difference, because I know there are lots of ways, especially if we get creative. Also, if you're like me, change is hard to adapt to, even if it's positive and necessary, but I guess the best way to look at it is that change makes room for new opportunities and better experiences.

Anyway, I hope this helps at least a little bit :) and that things get less overwhelming soon..

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/28/15 08:03:19AM
230 posts

Toxic People


Empath

That sounds to me like sexual harassment.. which I guess they don't take very seriously where you work? I don't know. It might be good to investigate your sexual harassment rights and bring them up with your boss, as well as set boundaries for this coworker. Medication or no medication, he doesn't have the right to treat you this way. It really would be too bad if you had to leave your job; but at least you have that option in case things get out of hand.

Oh and with the other guys you've been dating cutting things off - maybe this guy is doing more to sabotage your relationships than you can see, like threatening the men that you go out with. Is that possible? It might be better to not bring up anything related to your love life in front of him...

Best of luck!

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/27/15 11:22:51PM
230 posts

Toxic People


Empath

Wow, what a situation... this is a tough one! I wish I could do more to help, but here goes:

First, I would say ALWAYS trust your feelings. This guy sounds really toxic to me, too, so if you get the vibe that he's dangerous in any way, you need to get yourself away from him immediately. In that case, if they won't transfer you soon, my advice is to leave however you can anyway.

Also, if you can talk to anyone who knows this coworker better than you do, then that would be good to get more info. But I think that if you have to stay around him for longer, some things to keep you grounded would be positive affirmations, such as "I receive energy that is of the highest good for me, and I am protected from all other energy," as well as looking for other relationships with other coworkers so you'll have more of a support/defense system. You might not have to talk to him as much if you have other people to talk to more often.

Be strong, and I hope that everything works out :)

p.s. It's important to remember that you don't owe him anything. I find that I often forget this, but I hope you always remember that you have every right to be yourself and to stand up for yourself whenever you need to, no matter what happens.

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/27/15 11:00:59PM
230 posts



I have this happen to me all the time, too.. it's probably because we don't have enough validation of the accuracy of our abilities, because we can't always ask people if we're right about what they're feeling - especially if they're strangers.

I'm curious as to why you second guess yourself pertaining to things that are positive. I think I usually second guess myself about negative things more than positive ones.

Anyway, what I think might help is to remember times when you could see your own abilities shining through. It really helps if you have someone else to remind you (example, when I'm doubting myself my sister sometimes reminds me of when I told her what everything in her room meant to her without her telling me anything about it).

But I mostly recommend that you always act on the positive feelings that you have, while reminding yourself that you haven't been wrong in the past. The best thing to know is that doubting yourself will lead you away from being able to use your abilities for the highest good, and also that your feelings won't lead you astray - as long as something feels right, it probably is right.

There have been times when I thought I was wrong about what I was feeling, but then it turned out that my feelings weren't wrong, just something had recently changed. So we can't forget that everything is always changing around us and within us (nothing is absolute), which is a lot to take into account.

Hope this helps! :)


updated by @kit-kat: 02/28/17 07:52:05PM
Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/26/15 10:55:57PM
230 posts

Good thoughts and prayers!!


Empath

Sure! I hope things go really well :)

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/26/15 10:34:18PM
230 posts

Feeling Tired All Of The Time


Empath

I'm still learning about this, too.. but I think that one of the causes of our low energy levels is the sensitivity of our nervous systems. If you're like me, you're an empath and also a highly sensitive person, which means that you not only feel other people's feelings all day, but also your nervous system is more easily overwhelmed by your environment. This happens to be very draining, because we're hyperaware of everything going on around and within us.

I've heard it said that, despite getting a good night's rest, we use up our energy for the day too quickly and it doesn't last the full day (like it would for someone who wasn't an empath or highly sensitive person).

My best advice is to take a nap in the middle of the day (if you can), to make sure to do at least some exercise that gets your heart rate up three times a week, to keep eating healthy, and to keep sleeping at least 8 hours a night. Oversleeping has never helped me, but sometimes I do need 9 hours.

Also, I haven't tried this yet, but I heard eating more protein, especially before interacting with people, can help with energy.

Hope this helps! Wishing you the best :)

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/16/15 07:56:02PM
230 posts

Cornmeal Mush


Arts

Great poem! Made me smile :)

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/16/15 06:44:53PM
230 posts



Thanks for this post; I can really relate. I wish we could have a land of our own, too - and maybe that's because I'm an idealist, but being free from greed and corruption sounds like the best thing ever! I'd be interested to know more about your idea to take it to the next level.

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/16/15 06:34:11PM
230 posts

Need help about whether to end a 52 year old friendship


Empath

First, I'm so sorry to hear about all you've been going through. My heart especially goes out to anyone with health challenges, since I've suffered with them for a lot of my life... And I believe it's true that as empaths we are more likely to have health problems, since our thoughts and feelings (as well as the sensitivity of our nervous systems) have a dramatic impact on our physical well being - these things are usually heightened for us.

Secondly, from what you wrote, my best advice would probably be to distance yourself from this person. Maybe she used to be a good friend, but based on what you wrote, she is now emotionally hurtful and not a true friend anymore. It's hard to let go of friendships, especially ones that have lasted so many years. But maybe if you distance yourself for awhile, she will one day wake up to the hurt she has caused you and want to be friends again.

This is one of the hardest things we face as empaths - relationships that are unhealthy for us. With family especially, the distance that we need can not only be hard to obtain, but can be seen as a personal attack to those who maybe don't even realize that they are being narcissistic, negative, or emotionally demanding. But cutting these people out of our lives completely would probably be a bad move (unless they are doing serious damage), so what I think is best for us is to still be there for them, but to also set boundaries for them, maintain the space that we need to survive, and keep our distance emotionally. I believe there's a reason why we feel apprehensive about opening up to others emotionally - it really does protect us in a lot of cases - and I think it can actually be a good thing, as long as we don't shut people out of our lives, and as long as we find ways to have meaningful relationships with those who are (at least mostly) emotionally safe.

I hope this helps :) Hang in there!

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/13/15 12:41:42PM
230 posts

So this is new. Any advice for a unique situation?


Empath

Just wanted to say that I definitely can relate to saying "I don't know" when someone asks me something personal. It's terrible - I want people to know me, but it feels so dangerous...

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/13/15 12:31:53PM
230 posts

New Here


Empath

You're welcome! I'm really happy I could help :) (I hate that feeling - that I've hurt someone's feelings.. I'll do almost ANYTHING to avoid that, too)

Yeah, for some reason, we're really prone to abdominal problems and back problems. (I have both..) But despite the health problems, I still see these abilities as gifts - I read somewhere:

"Discovering oneself can be like having the numbers for this week's lottery; it's a moment of pure bliss for many highly sensitive souls"

That definitely describes how I felt when I found out I'm an empath. I already knew I was highly sensitive, but I still felt like there was something else that separated me from everyone else. Also, it's kind of cool to think we're so rare - like 1% of the population! (5% are highly sensitive)

I think the more we can take care of ourselves emotionally and spiritually, the more we will be healthy physically. And I'm really thankful for this site, too! Who knew it would feel so good to talk to people who are like me...

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
07/13/15 09:54:59AM
230 posts

New Here


Empath

Hey!

I'm new as well :) And it was pretty recently that I found out I am an empath, too. I have to say that your description of anxiety, feeling drained, and feeling overwhelmed fits the description of my life right now. As empaths, we take in lots of sensory experience, and that's why we need time to recover. I've found some really good tips on this website, and so far the best ways I've found to cope are:

Make sure you have some alone time every day

Value your abilities as gifts, rather than burdens (this can be done with positive affirmations like "I am willing to feel the energy that is mine, and I let go of all that is not mine" and "I receive energy that is of the highest good for me, and I am protected from all other energy," and "I attract only healthy relationships into my life.")

Sleep in your own room - it helps to have some distance from others at night, since we are prone to absorbing energy in while we are asleep

Spend time in nature (it's called "earthing," and it really helps!)

Use your gifts to help others

Use energy blocking (there are different techniques for this online)

Distance yourself from negative, narcissistic people, if you can

Remember to do the things that will keep you healthy, rather than putting others always at higher priority (after all, you can help them better if you are stronger)

View yourself as someone who is more sensitive than others (I picture myself as a glass vase, while others are made of steel) - this helps me a lot, because sometimes I tiptoe around people, thinking they're as sensitive as me, when in reality, they're ignorant to this high level of sensory sensitivity, and most of them don't mind if I need to set some boundaries.

I hope this helps.. Wish you the best!

 
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