Forum Activity for @crimsoncoat

crimsoncoat
@crimsoncoat
07/15/15 09:39:09AM
12 posts

So this is new. Any advice for a unique situation?


Empath

It's not so bad now. I'm just kinda accepting that I feel strongly for this guy and letting the friendship/relationship/whatever it will become run its course at its own pace. It's funny. We'll talk about hard stuff we've gone through in life and it doesn't kill me like it does with other people. It's quiet and soft and almost comforting even when it breaks my heart to hear the awful things he's gone through. We've both told each other things and then quickly realize that we've never told anybody stuff like that before. He even had me fondly remembering playing silly creative games with my friends when I was a kid, and this was stuff I haven't thought about in years. I almost feel like I'm regaining that joy I had as a kid. This is nothing like I've ever felt for a person before, so I'm totally clueless as to what it means. It's like picking up where I left off with a best friend I never realized I had until now. Or maybe even like meeting a twin I didn't know I had.

crimsoncoat
@crimsoncoat
07/03/15 06:58:51PM
12 posts

So this is new. Any advice for a unique situation?


Empath

That's interesting. I never thought of that. I do know that I have weird things happen to me when I'm in a semi conscious state. I'll hear things being said or music, and I've also felt things. Two instances that come to mind are seeing someone I had a crush on telling a story to a bunch of people, as well as an instance where I only heard a woman scream and then I felt somebody touch my leg that wasn't there. Both instances freaked me the heck out. This may be a side effect of once being able to astral project though. I don't know. My family doesn't like this stuff, so I don't really know all that much about things other than what I've learned myself. Is there things I should read about this?

And don't worry about me when it comes to meeting people online. I don't normally meet people unless I really get to know them. Besides, most people wouldn't dare try something because I'm actually a pretty burly guy. Yeah, I know. My words don't make it seem that way. I've been told that before. My empathy actually allows me to read people through pictures and text too, so I'd be surprised if somebody was able to pull the wool over me. Then again, I am human and empathy isn't an exact science. I'll be careful.

crimsoncoat
@crimsoncoat
07/03/15 12:58:41PM
12 posts

So this is new. Any advice for a unique situation?


Empath

It's kinda nice to hear somebody say that. I always feel so weird admitting to people the kind of stuff I feel and the stuff that just comes to me. And that's one of the really strong ones.

crimsoncoat
@crimsoncoat
07/03/15 09:17:51AM
12 posts

So this is new. Any advice for a unique situation?


Empath

Oh, I've met a friend who is a technical reader. I know what it feels like. They generally do things to elicit a reaction so they can build a working model of a person. He tried to anticipate that I would say that I read minds when I told him I had a gift. I told him that I don't. My gift is just connection. Totally got flustered when he realized that I'd already gotten him to talk about his girlfriend and their issues without even forcing him to.

No I haven't! At least I don't think so. What's it about? Aww. That's a shame. Hope is sometimes the only thing that keeps me going despite everything else. People oftentimes think I'm a cynic because I generally prepare for the worst case scenario, but I'm secretly a total optimist. And yeah. That's scarily what I'm kinda feeling about this situation. I'm doing my best to quash it down, but it's so strong. He's so damaged, and he's not ready to move on, but... Augh. Men. Anybody I've talked to since meeting him is just ending up in a dead end. Sneaky fate, stop doing this if you ain't gonna commit!

Okay, so I was joking quite a bit at the end there but seriously. You do what your heart is telling you to do and forget about anything else. Even if it doesn't work out, you're still learning something important. Might even be preparing you for the intensity of the next one. It's kinda fun in a way too, these experiences.

crimsoncoat
@crimsoncoat
07/03/15 08:55:24AM
12 posts

So this is new. Any advice for a unique situation?


Empath

Admittedly I'm feeling that the guy I'm talking to is an empath. There's too much he says that fits so perfectly with it, though he thinks he's just good at reading people. I can't blame somebody for being scared though. It's so bloody hard to deal with. Sometimes it's easier to run and hide.

There is something good about this month, isn't there? I've been feeling it myself. Part of the reason why I've been so much more talkative with people than usual. I feel like it's time to move on and be who I really am. That said, I'm really hoping for you that you're right. They do say that hope and belief can do some pretty crazy things, so maybe more people hoping will help you out. :)

crimsoncoat
@crimsoncoat
07/03/15 08:47:54AM
12 posts

So this is new. Any advice for a unique situation?


Empath

It really is. I've had many things happen in my life that taught me something. That's why I don't really hold a grudge. Now this may sound weird, but I've also had dreams many a time where I've been shown lives where I made a different choice and found love. Except there's always something wrong with it. Usually something with me. I'm not as strong, or I've completely cut myself off from my abilities as an empath. While it's sad to see something that possibly I could have had, I also feel glad that I've walked the path I have. I wouldn't have been the me I need to be if I'd followed those routes. I would have made sacrifices that would have changed me for the worse. Does that make any sense?

crimsoncoat
@crimsoncoat
07/03/15 08:42:58AM
12 posts

So this is new. Any advice for a unique situation?


Empath

Augh. Sometimes it's awful being an empath. You love so easily because you see all of a person. Honestly, how can you help but love a person when you see all of that beauty? But then it's so hard to know when it's real love. So often we love people and others just... Don't. I'm not saying it's wrong. We're just different. An empath is made of love.

Finding mutual love with an empath must be crazy. You'd fall into each other so easily that it'd be hard to find where the two of you separate. But something about that sounds so right. Totally not saying that you'd stop being two different people, but at it's best, it must be... So nice.

That's really rough though, him just running. I've had that happen many a time. Because of my experiences with low self esteem, I am utterly blind to other people's feelings for me if I have feelings for them so I tend not to pursue people anymore. I don't really know how. I also draw a line in the sand with my friends and don't allow them to cross it for my own sake. What I've felt with empathy is that the more you love someone, the deeper you go, and I just don't allow that. Had somebody beg me to go the distance once with healing them and I outright refused.

Sorry. Got off on a bit of a tangent. Anyways. I hope you're right about him coming back to you. It's not fair when a strong connection isn't realized.

crimsoncoat
@crimsoncoat
07/02/15 06:03:54PM
12 posts

So this is new. Any advice for a unique situation?


Empath

Thank you. I'm not used to a connection being this intense, so I'm just sitting here and trying not to have any expectations. The conversations though... I can't help but smile just thinking about it. I think so long as it's just talking online, it won't get too intense, but I'm also not afraid of it getting worse. In truth I worry he will run, but I've always been the brave type. If it turns out that this is a chance for something more... I'm gonna take it if it's offered and see how far it goes. If not, well, I have a good friend that I enjoy talking to and that can be enough for me.

crimsoncoat
@crimsoncoat
06/27/15 11:31:33PM
12 posts

So this is new. Any advice for a unique situation?


Empath

Oh gosh no. I'm 31! Agh. Feel like a total kid in this situation though haha. But yeah. Apparently my heart's having none of my old nonsense. I'm kinda flying in with no idea what's in store, but my heart is telling me that it's what I need to do. Kinda liberating actually. I don't know what it means, or what the end result will be, but I know without a doubt that I'd be an idiot to run on such an important chance.

crimsoncoat
@crimsoncoat
06/27/15 02:40:27PM
12 posts



This is rough. I don't have any answers for you on this, but I did want to at least say something. This society often times seems like it wasn't made for us at all. We hurt for it, and we try to do everything in our power to make people feel better and soothe the wounds we see. We feel lonely, and scared and so very often exhausted.

But you know, one thing that is so cool is the fact that it seems like more and more each day I meet people who understand. I see places like this where people are gathered to talk and share about their experiences with being empaths. Almost like we're all being drawn together so the burden isn't so bad. So maybe what I want to say is this-- remember that you aren't really alone at all. We're all out here, flickering and fighting against the darkness and refusing to stop shining. I think that's pretty awesome.

crimsoncoat
@crimsoncoat
06/27/15 02:29:16PM
12 posts

So this is new. Any advice for a unique situation?


Empath

Wow. That was really nice. Thank you! It's funny because you're pretty much giving me the advice that I already know in my heart. I guess I just needed to hear somebody else say it. I'm just such a nervous bag of emotions when it's something out of my comfort zone and this is totally out of my comfort zone. This may sound totally silly, but this feels like I'm gambling more than I ever have before. I usually play so carefully too. This is totally unlike me to jump and do something on a hunch. Especially when I don't even know what the end result is. It's like my guts were like "Bam! Do this right now. Don't think about it. Just do it."

crimsoncoat
@crimsoncoat
06/27/15 01:17:33PM
12 posts

So this is new. Any advice for a unique situation?


Empath

Of course I decide to post this as my first post. Of course. Hi! I've been poking around here for a long time, but I've never taken the plunge and actually signed up. I guess because I'm shy, but also because talking about it made it a bit too real. I was in denial for a long time.

I've been pretty sure I'm an empath for much of my life, even if for much of it I've pretended it was just really good guesses and analysis. I've always been really good with people and knowing their emotions, though admittedly I've had a lot of trouble dealing with the side effects. Used to be that I couldn't enter a public place without headphones and not feel absolutely overwhelmed by... I guess the best way to describe it is noise? Not a sound in my ears, but still loud. That's the only way I've been able to describe it to my friends. I'm pretty good at handling it now by focusing on people that I'm with, but sometimes I still feel a bit sick depending on the place. It also seems like the closer I am with people, the more potent the connection.

I've never really wanted to put much stock in the whole thing. Oftentimes I felt like I was a fraud gaming everyone, including myself because I couldn't just make it happen on command. In fact, the more I struggled to control it, the further it got away from me. Seems like I can only really use it properly if I just let it happen. Stuff like this apparently runs in my family though, so I guess it got harder to ignore the older I got. Not been too good with relationships, mostly because I could never meet anybody I connected with. I mean, sure, I can connect with most people to help them, but it was never two way, which I secretly was craving. It's like other people have a compulsion to seek us out and share all their pain, but are utterly blind to the effect that life has on us. I'm not complaining. It's just lonely when nobody gets you. I have never been in love for these reasons.

I guess the reason I am here is because of a situation that's come up recently. While I was browsing a dating site (oh god. I'm so bad with these), I came across somebody that I immediately felt compelled to stop on. Something about his eyes told me I had to message him. After talking to him a bit, I know he's a lot like I am. I like talking to him. A lot. But then I come back to the fact that I'm terrible with opening up enough to be in a relationship. And yet somehow, oh hey! This guy's exactly the same! I've told him I just want to be friends for now, and I mean it, and yet somehow... Ugh. This is so embarrassing to say. I feel like I'm being lead along? Not by him of course. I just feel like I'm being compelled to do this by something. I've even had a situation before I really started talking to him where I was half asleep and somehow focused on the tv, which said his name and the words "You need to talk to him one on one as soon as you can." which made me jump out of being half asleep.

Like, don't get me wrong. I've had situations where I hear something and I swear it's like the words jump out at me in that moment in time. Usually something comforting and telling me to stay strong when I feel bad. But this is different. And I have no idea what it means. I'm perfectly content to just have a like minded person as a friend, but there's a part of me that's incredibly nervous. I'm seriously wondering if it's just because I don't normally feel anything other than the normal gentle yet powerful love for everybody that I've always had. This person has me twisted up in knots and confused, and wanting to run away but not at the same time. Is there a precedent for something like this? I can't talk about this with my friends because they don't really understand. I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense. Gosh, I feel like such a little kid haha.

EDIT: Okay, just a little update. I've just been letting the flow go as I've been talking with this person, and this is getting a little weird. There's so many parallels of thinking and experience that it's starting to feel like I've met a living breathing mirror. Not saying the personalities are the exact same, but it's getting really eerie.


updated by @crimsoncoat: 05/10/17 02:17:20PM