Forum Activity for @tracie

Tracie
@tracie
11/03/15 12:59:33PM
16 posts

Encountering resistance when trying to help people


Empath

I find that using force always meets resistance. I don't mean physical force, but far subtler than that. If we give advice or even suggestions and we are invested in the other person heeding them, then they are far more likely to resist what we say.

Can you think of a time when someone told you what to do, and you immediately didn't want to?

Show me a 'Keep off the grass' sign and I'll be dancing in the middle of the lawn before you know it ;-)

There's a verse in the Tao te ching (10) which contains the lines

Giving birth and nourishing,
having without possessing,
acting with no expectations,
leading and not trying to control:
this is the supreme virtue."

There's nothing wrong with giving advice when asked, but then we have to step back and let go of caring that our advice is taken. :-)

Tracie
@tracie
07/07/15 01:04:31PM
16 posts

How to connect?


Empath

If you find conventional meditation difficult then something like Tai Chi or Qigong might be easier for you as both are 'moving meditations'. Mindfulness in which you give your attention fully to what you are doing/ experiencing in the moment is a useful practise too. Any of these (and there are others I haven't mentioned) help to quiet the incessant chatter of the mind.

For the record, in my experience, everyone finds meditation difficult at first. If you manage 2 minutes the first time then that's a great result. It takes practise and gets easier the more you practise.

Dunno if you've heard of the book 'I had a black dog'? It's a book about depression. I recently bought my other half another book in the series- 'Quiet the mind' by Matthew Johnstone. It's about meditation but written for people with depression who have notoriously busy minds.

Just a few ideas in case they are useful :-)

Tracie
@tracie
06/05/15 03:24:22PM
16 posts

Am I still an Empath?


Empath

I think you said it yourself Ryu. You're trying to connect with someone's mind, rather than with their emotions. The two are connected of course (thoughts tend to kickstand emotions) but manifest in different ways. If you try to connect with someone's core rather than mind you would have more chance of feeling the emotions present.

Hope this helps :-)

Tracie
@tracie
06/05/15 03:00:28PM
16 posts

Martyrs


Empath

I trained and worked as a nurse for a while and still work in learning disabilities area now. My mum has dementia and she came to live with us last year.

Martyrdom? No.

It's just seeing what needs doing/ where your skills are best used.

What we give out, we get back (a pagan would tell you threefold, but I'm not sure how you'd measure it ;-) )

If we choose to do it then the control/power is all ours.

People get attached to all sorts of images of themselves and some of those images could be 'powerless', 'victim', 'caring'.

They're not real. They're just thoughts we have about ourselves and if we repeat them enough we start to believe that they're true. "I'm this sort of person".

We always have the choice to say no and walk away.

Just my take on it :-)

Edit

Just adding to that, that if you want thanks/ appreciation and don't get it, then again the power is all yours. You can stop wanting thanks and just give for the sake of giving and then thanks or not won't matter at all :-)

Tracie
@tracie
05/06/15 01:51:38PM
16 posts

New to the community


Empath

No similar experience but I am interested in the thread. I find that there is a lot of truth in words and often the words people use tell you a lot about their physical state.

Tracie
@tracie
05/06/15 01:46:08PM
16 posts

How do you deal with feeling sad for situations you can't control?


Empath

Oh this made me laugh, I'm the idiot who aged 20 took her pre-teen niece and nephews to see teenage mutant ninja turtles and was the only fool in the cinema who cried at it. I cried a bucket at Marley and me, the book.

Only the other night I went out of the room during Gogglebox because I didn't want to go through the ordeal of watching the Bear Grylls bit.

You're not alone lol.

On a more serious note 'compassion' has it's root in com (with)+passion (to suffer), and when we willingly suffer with other people/animals it genuinely helps them. So while it's worth avoiding upsetting fiction and TV shows/films we can do nothing about, far better to stay soft of heart when it's real. :-)

Tracie
@tracie
05/04/15 02:31:29PM
16 posts

positive/negative-what's the difference? It's just emotion.


Empath

Life is brilliant lol, it always gives us what we need (which might not be the same as what we want) :-D

I'd agree that outside circumstances always change, but the stillness I was referring to can be found within us underneath any emotion that may be going on, and is unchanging.

Taoists and some Buddhists I believe refer to the lower dantian which they describe as being 3 fingers width below your navel and 2 fingers inwards. If we focus on this area we might be able to feel a vast stillness, sometimes described as bliss or joy, or the bubbling well.

It seems that many people find it briefly when confronted with stunning spectacles of nature. Maybe a sea view or a sunrise. The sense of stillness seems to remain until the habitual thinking mind kicks in and they start to analyse it (you try to grasp it, you lose it).

I do wonder how other people experience empathy. It's something I'd be interested to learn here in this forum.

I define emotion very simply as 'energy in motion'. If someone is anxious I may feel their churning stomach, if they're nervous it might be more fluttery, desires I usually feel around my (physical) heart. People with depression feel heavy with stagnated energy in the pit of the stomach.

Any views welcome, I'd love to know other people's experiences. :-)

Tracie
@tracie
05/03/15 02:45:28PM
16 posts

positive/negative-what's the difference? It's just emotion.


Empath

Hey Kate, I'd agree that trusting your guts is paramount as an empath.

You misunderstand me, I think. I'm not saying that people should be apathetic. I just meant that emotion is just emotion whether it flows towards what is desired or away from what is feared. They're 2 sides of the same coin.

In stillness, which always lies beneath emotion whether we feel it or not, we don't need to make personal judgements. We're open to inspiration which may tell us that we should preserve the planet, or we should protest at a political demo, or we should leave a relationship.

You said "in essence it feels"- that for me is what lies beneath emotion.

Tracie
@tracie
05/02/15 02:37:40PM
16 posts

anchors


Empath

Hi Jamie, Can you feel below the sadness? Underneath it, if you like? What's there?

Tracie
@tracie
05/02/15 02:24:59PM
16 posts

Grounding quickly in a pinch. How do you do it?


Empath

Qigong for me. When I get in a mess I do qigong exercises that focus on the area that I need rebalancing.

Tracie
@tracie
05/02/15 02:15:47PM
16 posts

positive/negative-what's the difference? It's just emotion.


Empath

You may be right Crownite in that most people want to feel good, but isn't the wanting an emotion in itself?

Tracie
@tracie
05/02/15 02:08:15PM
16 posts

positive/negative-what's the difference? It's just emotion.


Empath

Trevor, what a beautiful post. I completely understand your phrase of human sadness and spiritual joy. My dad died a few years ago and at the cremation I felt total peaceful joy. I was able to hold the whole room within me beneath the sadness of saying goodbye.

The great lie is that life is the opposite of death, and it's not. Birth is the opposite of death. And we never mourn birth.

Your paragraphs in italics are completely right. Adults do tend to store emotion, whereas children just express it and then it is done.

I tend the think that all emotion comes from either desire or fear (in one form or another), and when people talk about negative emotion they are usually talking about fear (which may be in the form of anger, anxiety etc), when people talk about positive emotion it is usually related to the accomplishment of a desire or hope that a desire might come true.

This is why I view them the same, and prefer an approach of eliminating both desire and fear :-)

Much love at this difficult time for you :-)

Tracie
@tracie
05/01/15 03:28:31PM
16 posts

positive/negative-what's the difference? It's just emotion.


Empath

I've been reading lots of posts since I joined and seeing a lot of classifying emotions as positive or negative.

Aren't emotions just emotions? And positive or negative is a judgement our part. It's just energy in motion.

I like to work from a base of stillness and meditate that I maintain that base.

Just wondering if anyone feels (ha!) the same?

As an example of what I mean, I give you the story of the farmer:

http://truecenterpublishing.com/zenstory/maybe.html


updated by @tracie: 01/09/17 02:18:12AM
Tracie
@tracie
05/01/15 03:05:35PM
16 posts



The word 'remember' works for me. When I remind myself to remember I immediately reconnect with that which Lao Tzu called the Tao :-)

Tracie
@tracie
04/28/15 02:31:39PM
16 posts

Just a hello


Empath

Just saying hello. I joined a couple of days ago and have been reading round the threads. There's a lot of us huh?

Nice to not be the only freak in the village for once :-D


updated by @tracie: 01/14/17 09:31:09PM
Tracie
@tracie
04/28/15 02:24:32PM
16 posts

Quantum Physics and Empaths


Empath

Ha! Love this.

First time I realised I was an empath (didn't know the word) I was throwing a total strop because my other half was really depressed and I couldn't help. I was thinking if only I could swap paces with him, but I can't be in 2 places at once!!!! Tantrum. Tantrum.

Then I realised that the 'I can't be in 2 places at once' is just another falsehood we're taught.

Got to love scientists. Spend all the time looking out and forgetting to look back to see where they're looking from. :-)