Forum Activity for @christinab

christinab
@christinab
04/10/15 12:09:45AM
3 posts



Hi Storm09

Someone may have already said this to you but there's soooo many comments I couldn't read all of them!

I'm VERY new to all this - literally no clue what I'm doing. But I can say without shadow of a doubt that I have been doing that my whole adult life... I know how to make situations better and get such a good read off people that I how to make them feel better, so I use it as a tool... its not malicious its actually coming froma good place trying to help others.

In reading more about it thought I think I will have to try my hardest to stop doing it, because in trying to help and protect others may do them harm in the long run...what if they needed to make a mistake/learn a lesson/feel bad about themselves for a reason and I prevented it? Its meddling with things that shouldn't necessarily be meddled with. ALSO, my friends use me now as a tool to make themselves feel better as they know I have the ability to make them feel good, so its confused who are genuine friends and who aren't....

I don't know if that's the case for you but I just wanted to write and let you know you're not the only one!!!

We have to make mistakes in order to learn :) cant help being new and not realizing our behavior has an effect :)

xx

christinab
@christinab
04/10/15 12:01:43AM
3 posts

Newbie


Empath

Thanks soooooo much for all your comments and thoughts everyone :)

Its all still abit ofa muddle to me, I'm hoping everything will start to make more sense over time, especially as I am now more aware of what's going on, so can try to channel my feelings more and make sense of what emotions are actually mine and try to control the ones which aren't! And block out those energy drainers!!!

For the comments about my boyfriend, I should have been a bit more specific - he wasn't a drug addict, he was a party boy out every weekend (for a couple of years) going to all the raves and house parties etc, and he decided he was getting too old for about 18 months ago, moved to Spain and changed his life - relaxed and stopped going out. He came back to the UK about 8 months ago he lives right out in the country and has no hint of his party boy life at all, BUT the drugs have had an effect on his mind which is why he's going through a lot with anxiety and paranoia etc. He's going for counseling and tries his hardest not to project it onto me - in fact he spends the majority of his time trying to make me happy and my life better. Obviously this doesn't always work as being around him does make me feel what he's feeling but I know he's trying to get past his issues so that's good enough for me!!

ALSO it kinda makes me think that I met him and experienced all this for a reason.....as I wouldn't be here without having met him, feeling what he feels is whats made me question all this about myself.

Alison I can definitely relate to what youre saying - I've always been drawn to helping people and lol yes always taking them on as my own!!!

Johanna - I hadn't considered a career in counseling but in all honesty I am basically a counselor for ALL of my friends so really something like that would make sense... thank you for your words about looking at the situation differently, I think I can use that as a tool to make healthier boundaries!

whats making my life so hard as well is that since I've been with my boyfriend I haven't seen as much of my friends and the energy drainers are giving me such a hard time about it, the way it makes me feel is that they need their "fix" of my energy and are angry theyre not getting it... am I being used? Do I cut these people out or try to create better boundaries and take it from there?

theres a lot going on in my head atm lol!

Honestly though - thank you all so much for your kind words of welcome, and the advice you have given! it definitely helps to know there are people out there who have experienced similar situations! Emmy Long - I have always never been able to say no to people! WHY is it so hard??

love and best wishes xxx

christinab
@christinab
04/08/15 01:26:55AM
3 posts

Newbie


Empath

Hi guys!!

So this is all a bit strange for me and just wanted to chat to some people who might be in a similar boat.

For the lastfew months I've been feeling really strange within myself.

I've always drawn animals tome but Iseem to have starteddrawing very needy, problematic peopleto me. Its draining as every single one of my friends (bar the ones I've been friends with since school) come to me with any problem they have, expecting me to resolve it/make them feel better. One of my friends has told me a few times she likes to be around me as she likes my energy and feels refreshed after spending time with me. She is very a very dramatic and angry personand feels that I bring positivity to her and chill her out a bit. But I leave feeling drained and mentally fatigued.

My boyfriend, who I have been with for 3 months, is going through a lot mentally - due to previous substance abuse and generalinsecurity problems from past relationships. He is going through paranoia, anxiety, depression, and a lot of confusion. I have also been experiencing this for the last couple of months and have had no idea why I've felt so low.

He commented the other day that he feels a lot more chilled out around me, then separately commented about how I seem to draw people and animals to me - he said its like I'm a magnet that people just want to be around me. The combination of what he's said and how I've been feeling led me to google....a lot of research later I have ended up here.

Now what I'm not sure about is that a lot of what I've read I can 100% relate to, I felt like I was coming home when I read it. But on the other hand there are a few things that don't ring true - I don't get overwhelmed in large crowds and I don't necessarily 'feel' other peoples emotions, I can tell how people are feeling and I know aspects of their personality without them saying anything but I don't think I feel what they are feeling.

I have always blocked people and my own emotionsout - since I was a child, I have never let anyone in or let myself feel emotions. I have always drank quite a lot as a tool to block things out but there's no real reason why - I had a lovely upbringing and have a lovely family.

The conclusion I'm slowly reaching is that I may be an empath and have blocked all of this out for years and years. The difference now is that I am truly in love (for the first time) and my boyfriend loves to talk and 'go deep' and has really encouraged me to open up....hence the shift in my brain.

But - I'm not sure ifI'm clutching at straws and am finding answers because I want to find them, if that makes sense... I'm not sure that it is though as reading all of this yesterday made me feel like I wasn't actually going mental lol!

Also - it scares me slightly.

Any thoughts at all on this would be greatly appreciated :)

Christina xxx


updated by @christinab: 10/23/17 10:57:46PM