The first PhD thesis on Empaths?
Congratulations on this fantastic achievement.
I look forward to reading your work.
Hi there and welcome.
You are definitely not alone! I found it a relief to have a word for how/what I am... but that didn't change the daily challenges.
Over time, with deliberate practice, we develop our abilities to filter and moderate the energies.
I had developed some pretty effective techniques, many years ago, then I had an accident that pretty much fried all my filters, and it was like an energetic Hurricane Katrina tore through me.
Now I am back and re-learning. It can be done, so take heart.
Be well - and safe
Welcome. It sounds to me like you actually do feel other people's emotions... It might be happening in ways that you don't consciously realize, till later.
With me, I definitely pick up on a lot, but it's "pre-conscious". I'm tuned in to them in ways that my conscious mind doesn't process immediately.
As for being in love with your boyfriend, I have fallen in love with a number of people, only to realize that what I really loved was not them -- it was how I felt with them and their attention towards me. A lot of really messed up, hurting people have caused me a lot of pain over the years, and I always thought it was my job to help them, save them, make them feel better -- because I could. And they absolutely loved and appreciated how they felt around me, so I felt loved and appreciated like nothing else... which was the glue that kept us together.
It wasn't them. It was the dynamic -- how I felt when I helped them. Bottom line was, it was constant work -- and the paycheck was pretty measly.
People who are in desperate need will do desperate things to save themselves. Like people who are drowning will instinctively use those closest to them as "floatation devices", pulling them down into the water, so they can hold themselves up.
Our job as Empaths is to keep our own heads above water -- and preferably not let people drowning in their own drama latch onto us.
Be well. Take care.
Why yes. Yes, I do. The thing is, when I manipulate others, I end up with an even bigger mess on my hands. The problem with manipulating others is that I don't have all the information about their "trajectories" and all the factors influencing their lives and directions, wants and needs, etc. So my best-laid plans almost always backfire on me.
I learned this the hard way. Now -- as hard as it is, knowing how many other options and choices they have that would produce far better results -- I have to step back and let things take their course.
Kind of like the Prime Directive in Star Trek.
It's painful, but it sure beats having to follow up on some mess I helped create.
Yes to both. Fatigue makes it worse. I use my sensitivities as barometers for when I need to sleep or get more exercise. When every light looks like a Klieg light, and every sound is like feedback in powerful speakers, I know it's time to retreat to my bedroom with the light-blocking curtains, put in the earplugs, and check out for a while.
Getting plenty of rest and eating right makes a positive difference.
I enjoy being an Empath, because it makes life incredibly fascinating! So long as I take care of myself and keep my Empath nature in mind and don't get too caught up in judging what everyone is up to, I have a great view of the action! I also really like being able to soothe others just by hanging out. People have told me that I "clean the energy" of their stores/workspaces, which is pretty gratifying. Again, so long as I take care of myself, it's pretty cool.
Welcome! I'm new here, too, but since this is an empath community, I think it's safe to say you're in the right place.
I can relate to you not listening. I am the same way with not observing people. I have been seeing the same counselor almost once a week for about seven years, but I couldn't tell you what they look like. I also often have no idea what people are wearing, if they wear glasses, if they have a beard, or if they wore that same outfit the day before. It just doesn't register with me.
It's not that we're stupid -- we're just paying attention to other things. As far as I'm concerned, they're much more interesting things, anyway.
Hi everyone, I'm circling back around to the empath community after 10+ years away.
I've known I'm an empath for nearly 30 years -- and "back in the day" just mentioning that you're an empath elicited all sorts of interesting reactions from people. Most people pulled away, when they realized just how close I was to them, without them knowing it.
I did some active work with it in the late 1990s, with Jad Alexander's "Book of Storms". I have to admit, it didn't make a lot of sense to me, but I'm open to taking another look. I probably should.
Long story short, the last 10+ years of my life have been very eventful, with everything ranging from deaths in the family... to my partner having a series of strokes and seizures, followed by more serious chronic illness and ongoing degenerative cognitive impairment... to a mountain of debt, resulting from all the excitement...to having my own debilitating medical condition that totally fried all my defenses and neural and energetic networks I'd created to keep myself chugging along IRL.
I've been in lockdown mode since around 2003, which has kept me intact and surviving, but hasn't dramatically added to my quality of life. No talk of being an empath. No talk of even being an HSP or INFJ or any of those self-awareness tools -- just survival.
After 7 years of intensive rehabilitation (and a debt resolution program that I thought would kill me), I'm back and functional and able to put things together again. And my sensitivities and empath experience are coming back, front and center. I'm actually pretty stoked about getting my empath identity back online. It feels like I just remembered where I put my car keys, after having lost them for all this time.
Obviously, however, this poses some challenges. I'm way out of practice, and I need to rebuild the neural and energetic networks that will keep me from frying my system. I'm hoping to connect here with like-minded folks, vent a little steam here and there, and just remember that I really am not the only one in the world who experiences this.
It's good to be back.