Forum Activity for @umar

Umar
@umar
12/13/15 12:02:24PM
72 posts

Major Trouble Loading Forum


Empath

Hi Everyone :)I have had a lot of trouble getting the entire Empath Community website to load for about the last four or so days. Today I let the page cycle for awhile and got lucky to get through -usually I get a "server timed out" notice.Nothing has changed on my end (running Windows 7 with Google Chrome or Fire Fox) and have tried changing devices (another laptop and an iPhone) -all jamming. This is the only site I appear to have issues loading -any advice or this happening to anyone else??Thanks! I'm super bummed!!Umar
updated by @umar: 06/10/17 01:29:27AM
Umar
@umar
12/11/15 07:02:32PM
72 posts

Bad Omens in New Home??


Empath

Thank you very much everyone; I have read all of your comments, and they have helped immensely <3 It is funny how going through some of what I have recently changes how your mind works: it has taken a lot of self-driven re-working to get me to stop seeing everything as a threat. When an ant finally bit me on the butt in bed though, I lost it haha. Now, it almost seems so silly how I snapped into "omg imma gonna die" mode over an ant. Thanks for helping me realize it is okay to calm down :) (and an ant exterminator comes Monday -yay!).
Umar
@umar
12/10/15 12:09:35AM
72 posts

Bad Omens in New Home??


Empath

To explain the paranoia some if it is helpful:

It is like I am hyper-vigilant about my hair touching me being an ant crawling on me, or one falling onto me while I sleep, or that there are more in my sheets (one got into my pants and managed to bite my butt when I rolled over!). Now I'm having a hard time calming down enough to feel "safe enough" to relax in my room.

Umar
@umar
12/10/15 12:02:45AM
72 posts

Bad Omens in New Home??


Empath

Hi Everyone,Any thoughts on this? I fled an abusive living situation into my current residence (LOVE IT here!), and had been settling in nicely.Then the wasps came. It was terrible. We are talking 20+ for two weeks would be dead daily in my kitchen -so bad that I couldn't eat at home. The situation was very soon after fleeing the first residence, and not feeling safe again did a number on my mental state as did watching the creatures die slowly from poison. However, with the help of my lovely landlord, some personal determination with a power vak, and the emergency call to an exterminator, I survived.Next came mice, which I humane trapped and released across town until my landlord could plug their entrances -maybe 8 mice relocated by the end. Luckily they remained stuck in one area.Now ants have come. They are found throughout my home: they have no apparent direction of interest and come alone to walk up a wall, get stuck in the bath, climb into my sheets... I will find one, kill it, search for others, (nothing), and then another pops up randomly elsewhere a while later. It is a bit creepy.You would never know I am actually a very clean person who keeps an incredibly tidy home lol The weird ant behavior (and again having to kill things in my home) has been upsetting -not to mention time consuming and leaving me paranoid. I feel like sucha nag to my poor landlords, and now I cannot shake the feeling that this is some bad omen? Another part of me thinks the world is helping me toughen up after the last living situation by dealing me a bunch of "disasters" I *can* handle. Do you guys have any thoughts on this stuff?? At least, the ants are tiny and don't sting :/Thanks guys, Umar :)
updated by @umar: 01/20/17 12:48:37AM
Umar
@umar
12/07/15 07:28:48PM
72 posts

I Can't Turn This Person Off...


Empath

I am happy to hear I could help at least a little <3 I hope others can offer additional guidance to get you through this.

Umar
@umar
12/07/15 07:24:09PM
72 posts

Visions Hault, Cannot Feel Down Energy Lines


Healers

Hi Everyone(:

Anyone ever hit a point where you could no longer "see"? It is like I am suddenly walking around blind, and frankly it is unnerving if not terrifying.

Recently, numerous bad things have happened in my life simultaneously (academic, career, personal, illness, death of loved one). It has not just been my sight: my dreams, ability to sense energy, feel the deceased, and experience centering in my own physical body have all taken a large blow.

The lack of visions is scariest of all though. I am at an unbelievable crossroad in my life that will decide my future: I want to walk a particular path, which I was on before those bad things all happened. I am working toward getting back on it, but my actions have no control over the final allowance. I am taking a major gamble, and I am not one to gamble. I am afraid, and I am more afraid because I cannot see... anything. Nothing. My entire energy line as close as tomorrow feels blank. All I can think is, 'what happened to me?! ...what will happen to me?" Do any of you know how to pull out of this blindness?


updated by @umar: 02/22/17 06:59:33AM
Umar
@umar
12/07/15 12:58:21PM
72 posts

I Can't Turn This Person Off...


Empath

haha don't worry, many of us, especially me, have the same "I don't need training" moments. It's like being trained how to hear; I hear just fine thank you :P

Have you spoken with your husband? Sometimes telling someone else allows me to let the energy start to fall way -like it isn't all my responsibility anymore. Maybe you can also both work together to get you slightly out of the picture: maybe like "PD2012's phone broke, you can call mine [husband's]"??

Umar
@umar
12/07/15 12:29:05PM
72 posts

I Can't Turn This Person Off...


Empath

I think you are very wise to say you want to claim you space. We all deserve our necessary physical and emotional space bubble, and we all deserve to define what this looks like.

I do not completely follow the situation you are in, but can you "cut the person off": block email, social media, phone number, texts, possibly a restraining order if needed or contacting her loved ones. As you say, you don't even know this person You owe her nothing. That sounds terrible, but you do not, and only very very special people are worth hurting ourselves over. If you are feeling a sense of guilt, realize it is there, and decide what to do about it: you can either act on it by doing whatever this woman wants or you can accept your decision as the right one (for you).

As for removing the negative piece stuck to you, have you tried something visual like cutting a cord. I wrote the following on another topic, and it may help here:

"Have you seen the Harry Potter movies? You know when Dumbledore uses his wand to pull a memory out of his mind; it comes out like a little wispy of light and energy, and he lets into fall into a pool so Harry and him can observe it? I imagine doing that. I recognize the energy signature not being my own, I grab onto it, and I slowly pull it up and out of my mind. It is similar to visualizing cutting a cord... like pulling out a thread of a sweater and letting it fall to the floor without ruining the whole sweater bc all the other threads shift to fill in the open space."

May you find peace :)

Umar
@umar
12/07/15 12:18:41PM
72 posts

How do you meditate?


Empath

Thank you, Goodenergyhealing :)

It is very interesting (not a good word... like, exciting) to me that many people use meditation to connect with a deity of some form, as I have never considered attempting this. I really appreciate your thorough explanations! I have just started incorporating an understanding of chakras into my meditations buthave never heard of the Earth energies you mention nor these divine energies; I will have to look into them further. Thank you very much for sharing! I only wish I knew more about it so we could discuss further <3

Umar
@umar
12/07/15 12:14:24PM
72 posts

How do you meditate?


Empath

Thank you for the lovey thorough description, Evolving! That is exactly what I am interested in: how people actually meditate :) I'm wondering if I could "meditate better" for say. I will have to look into some of those grounding type guides you mention to reconsider my foundation skills. If you recommend any in particular, please let me know.

I have never heard of a spiritual church?! Oh I am so excited that this is a thing?! I am very frustrated sometimes by not having a "church" to find faith in, get help / advice from, and form a family through, but I am just not [insert organized religion name]. I have considered joining a Pagan Coven (church), but I still am not sure that feels right either. I will have to look for a Spiritual Church!

Thank you, kindly, for sharing :)

Umar
@umar
12/07/15 12:00:22PM
72 posts

Picking Up Others Depression


Empath

I'm happy to hear that, karma! I realized I was doing it yesterday evening and laughed a little to myself: guess I do this a lot more than I thought :) I would be interested in how you did something similar for anxiety. I'm realizing I'm very visual.

This is the piece from the movie for those who aren't familiar:

https://www.google.com/search?q=dumbledore+memory+pool&espv=2&biw=1600&bih=799&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi0wOOwxMrJAhXDVT4KHXe4DZoQ_AUIBygC#imgrc=l6d7EJ2SC4J7pM%3A

Umar
@umar
12/07/15 11:56:55AM
72 posts

Energy punch


Empath

Hi Mamooth888, I do not practice martial arts, but I have had similar experiences during yoga. There are positions or transitions that are very difficult, and I don't believe I can accomplish them, but suddenly my body has made one smooth fluid motion from position A to B. However, when I am very upset, or my energy is "off", the complete opposite happens -a few times I've even fallen over haha

It is all very interesting (: Like karma, I have also considered looking into Tai Chi and would be interested in hearing how you experience this.

Umar
@umar
12/06/15 07:46:28PM
72 posts

In a slump


Empath

... Just make the first step a teeny tiny one ;)
Umar
@umar
12/06/15 07:45:34PM
72 posts

In a slump


Empath

I write a list of very simple things: make bed, put laundry in hamper, pick up dish, fill dishwasher, run dishwasher. I like the immediate gratification of crossing off each item. When I fall into a slump, I focus all energy on making that list and doing the first item. Sometimes turning on a familiar song or tv show helps me break the slump cycle to get that first task started.You can get out of this! You just need to take the first step :)
Umar
@umar
12/06/15 03:10:39PM
72 posts

Dating Websites


Empath

My pleasure! I know I'm very descriptive and wordy -maybe ask someone else to read them for you?? Best of luck, Evolving! Lovely to meet you, too :)

Umar
@umar
12/06/15 01:10:01PM
72 posts

Dating Websites


Empath

You asked about how much to write: very very little.

My dad says, "people are busy and can only remember three things at a time." He wasn't talking about dating websites, but it applies.

Write no more than three sentences for three paragraphs, and bullet it if you can. You want to capture people's attention quickly so they can pin-point discussion ideas fast. (See what I did here ;) haha all in threes!)

Umar
@umar
12/06/15 01:03:16PM
72 posts

Dating Websites


Empath

Sorry for jumping in and totally not reading the whole thread, but I figured I would pop in quickly to share this link:https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1trda0/men_why_arent_you_guys_into_dating_female_doctors/

Around all the huff and puff from both sides, the key thing to realize is what men look for in a woman is *totally!* different than what women look for in a man. I used to think why aren't men attracted to my education status, determination, job type, etc etc resume etc... and I realized I was thinking in terms of what I would want in a man.

Men are triggered by visual interest (we call this "looks" but includes things that look cool like seeing someone hiking a mountain instead of reading about it) whereas women are triggered by ideas/emotions/theories (think reading; "his profile says he likes hiking, so he must like the outdoors, and being active, and so he must be fit, too").

This goes perfectly into this link: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/a48423/how-to-make-dating-profile-photo-look-good/

^it isn't so much about being attractive as it is looking attractive in life. Hear me out: like women like to *read* a man's profile and dream/analyze/theorize about it, whereas men do the same thing with pictures. That's why this lady in the second link talks about having photos with other people around, having a photos of doing something interesting like hiking, and showing your hobby (hockey in her case) through a photo. This woman does the same thing a profile's words would do but with photos. Genius. Pure genius. :) I hope this helps!

Umar
@umar
12/06/15 12:34:52PM
72 posts

How do you meditate?


Empath

Hi Everyone,

Many of us meditate to help process energy, and I would love to hear how/when/why you practice meditation? I know no one else who meditates, and I have no formal training (religious or otherwise); I am interested in trying new things.

Do you guys mind sharing who you talk or pray to (is it religion/spiritual affiliated or just something you do for yourself by yourself), how you meditate (yoga, seated, alone, in a special place, with oils or incenses), and what you do when you meditate (pray, physically move energy around, listen, breathing patterns).

Thanks for sharing!
__________________

Me:
I meditate using guided yoga (I particularly like Rodney Yee), which I do in the dark in the evening before bed in my bedroom. I go through the motions, eyes usually closed, and allow the energy in my body to move freely. I can tell when my energy is off because I cannot easily follow the motions (e.g. I fall over :) or shake). Having my eyes closed allows me to focus on listening to my body and manipulating it through conscious thought -it centers me, for say. This is entirely something for myself by myself; I wish I had the feeling of a divinity involved, but I never felt connected with anyone except my deceased grandmother -and never in meditation.

When my energy is very bad, I follow a guided chakra cleansing deep mediation that I found on YouTube. I lie on my back on a yoga mat, eyes closed, and follow the breathing motions while visualizing the energy move around me. Sometimes, if very bad, I get physically upset, like shaking slightly.


updated by @umar: 01/20/17 12:47:58AM
Umar
@umar
12/06/15 12:15:13PM
72 posts

Picking Up Others Depression


Empath

Have you seen the Harry Potter movies? You know when Dumbledore uses his wand to pull a memory out of his mind; it comes out like a little wispy of light and energy, and he lets into fall into a pool so Harry and him can observe it? I imagine doing that. I recognize the energy signature not being my own, I grab onto it, and I slowly pull it up and out of my mind. It is similar to visualizing cutting a cord, but it helps me imagine not such a harsh response. It's like pulling out a thread of a sweater and letting it fall to the floor without ruining the whole sweater bc all the other threads shift to fill in the open space. This leaves me feeling still "whole" and connected to the person without that one icky piece.I hope this helps you find comfort. The first step is realizing it is not your depression, so you're already halfway there :)
Umar
@umar
12/03/15 06:37:56PM
72 posts

Connection to people


Empath

omg yes! It has been driving me insane recently. I swear it is like he is "energy drunk" and keeps accidentally poking me with his energy. Was just discussing how frustrating this is with a friend. I've mediated, looked at photos, thought about him, and I really don't think it is me. On my end, there is no cord: but something happens, and it is like I "wake up" to find he is there (literally, like near me). I wouldn't have noticed him otherwise, and he usually smiles and looks at me, and I cannot shake his energy signature off after that. And I have dreams with stories with him in them -not romantic or anything, just taking up all my "dream minutes." Makes me wonder if the other person is trying to grab onto my energy. Very rude lol but I don't think he realizes it.

It is possible I care for him subconsciously, but I don't think so, haha. He's cute and I asked him out before bc we have similar interests, but we cannot be friends for his religious reasons; we are very respectful toward one another, but nothing developed after that and I moved on. I'm wondering if he didn't -like if he is in some great mental struggle about what to do about it or frustrated about our lack of any relationship, or if he feels sorry for me, I just donno but maybe it is *his* feelings. I came on here to consider past lives: it is like I care about him like a brother I survived a war with -not a romantic thing, but ... but a thing, and not him, but like his energy. I so get what you mean, TigerLily.

Umar
@umar
04/26/15 08:01:51AM
72 posts

A little area of positive:


Empath

Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

Umar
@umar
04/21/15 09:54:29PM
72 posts



Hi LittleJumpingBean,

After years of fighting with the environment and myself, I have decided to go for the easy route: if something brings negativity into my life, I simply allow it to fall to the side. If this upsets you, you owe no one an explanation about that and have every right to avoid it.

You mentioned fear of ghosts: I am a very spiritual person and believe in free energy (ghosts, spirits, etc). Watching horror movies is terrifying for me, for I cannot tell myself "it is not real". I don't care what anyone else thinks, I just avoid any interaction with scary movies. Similarly, movies that are high emotion in say rape, kidnapping, stalking, or abduction also very much upset me, so I similarly avoid them. I hope this reply helps you feel better :)


updated by @umar: 01/07/17 10:44:24AM
Umar
@umar
04/21/15 09:46:18PM
72 posts

Being a guy


Empath

Hi Abhay,

Coming from such a different perspective than your situation, I am not sure which method would be best for you. Like I tried to describe above, I am very open about everything -but I am not sure that will work for you. I hope one of the other replies here can supply you with better guidance. :) Best wishes <3

Umar
@umar
04/21/15 09:44:31PM
72 posts

Am I an empath or just oversenstive?


Empath

You are most welcome. I sincerely hope it helped you :)

Umar
@umar
04/20/15 03:32:38PM
72 posts

Being a guy


Empath

Of course, Abhay.

For me (an American Female young professional) I made the choice to be exactly whom I am. I don't believe I owe anyone an explanation or that it should be a bad that I am very open, loving, communicative, and emotional with a strong spiritual faith. I express this without restraint, and have formed deep friendships through my behaviors. My atheist, none-empath-label friends have such an understanding of how I work that they include comments regarding such while giving advice -this, for me, is true friendship.

Sometimes I will say something that is shocking to people (e.g. I have a very close relationship with my dead [not dear, dead] grandma). They may inquire to better understand, but if that person is insulting in their inquiry or treats me inappropriately after, I don't want someone like that in my life. I do not pass judgement on people who are Christian, or Hindu, or Lutheran -a good person, for me, is a good person. I allow anyone who brings negative energy into my life to fall to the wayside. However, I do not know the "social laws" in India well enough to know the repercussions of such behavior where you live. I can say, I would rather by happy with myself and alone than unhappy being not myself around many people. :)

Umar
@umar
04/20/15 09:31:16AM
72 posts

Am I an empath or just oversenstive?


Empath

Hi Schemz and welcome :)

In my opinion: regarding your question, does it matter? I don't think so. The label doesn't change a single thing about who are you today at all. If you experience the world a certain way, it doesn't matter if you are doing it the right or the wrong "way" or in a means aligned with a particular label. Reflect on yourself and your experiences. If there are things you wish to change, start seeking resources; if there are things you want to explore, do it; if you want to feel accepted, be open and honest with yourself and others to allow acceptance into your life. "Empath" is a label that cannot define you, because you are your own special unique person <3 :)

Emotional experience is on a spectrum: some people are very hypersensitive and some people just have some of Mamma's Intuition -I am of the opinion that all people are empaths, the difference is some of us can use the skills better. For example, we can all hold a drawing utensil and draw a puppy, but with practice using that skill, some people can draw a puppy very well. If you align with the label of empath and that makes you feel good, then you have every right to use it without needing permission from anyone else :) I sincerely hope this comment puts your mind at ease <3

Umar
@umar
04/20/15 09:19:39AM
72 posts

Being a guy


Empath

Hi Abhay, and welcome to the group :)

I think men in my culture (United States) are culturally trained to not recognize that they are hyper-sensitive to things. It is like saying men cannot cry: of course they can physically cry, many just don't due to social constraints. Being an empath is just a normal biological skill / function in my opinion; men and women can develop it no different than both see or hear. Women however are culturally more talkative and self-reflective than men, so they are more likely to seek out groups and write blogs to express themselves.

In short, it is totally and absolutely normal :)

Umar
@umar
04/19/15 08:00:36PM
72 posts

Your Younger Self


Empath

I was taught from a young age that you never hit first, but you hit last. There was one bully that targeted me, and he tried to fight me physically only one time -by standing up to him, I earned respect and never had to fight again.

I would tell myself nothing changes when you get older. Adults and "big kids" still fight, in the same way, for the same reasons -it may just look different through passive aggressive actions and FB harassment instead of fists, but you have to fight the same way you did when you were 12: head on.

Umar
@umar
04/19/15 11:19:28AM
72 posts



That is very beautiful. I do not experienced the world in that way. My apologies, but why was this note directed at me? Did you have a question about something I had written?

Umar
@umar
04/19/15 11:09:21AM
72 posts

Is my energy making crystals crack?


Empath

Thank you, Krosskelt!

Umar
@umar
04/19/15 11:08:05AM
72 posts

A little area of positive:


Empath

Oh I love this! Thank you for sharing, Sirah!

Umar
@umar
04/19/15 11:07:25AM
72 posts

A little area of positive:


Empath

She is beautiful, Emmy :)

Umar
@umar
04/16/15 07:50:04AM
72 posts

Is my energy making crystals crack?


Empath

Hi Krosskelt, this is really interesting to me. I am new here and not yet familiar with using stones, do you have any resources you could recommend? Thank you!

Umar
@umar
04/16/15 07:46:13AM
72 posts



Okay let me think: for me it is like trying to describe the color green to someone who cannot see -hard to put into words.

*intense thinking ;)*

When I say chemicals, I mean literally the natural way the body works, nothing fancy. I am a medical professional, so if something I say doesn't make sense, let me know.

When the a person or other animal is frighten the body reacts. The sympathetic nervous system kicks in and prepares the body through cascades that release lots of chemicals (i.e. hormones and neurotransmitters etc) that tell the body's parts what to do: dilate the pupils, protract the eye ball from the sock, increase the heart and respiration rate, divert blood from the internal organs to the muscles, start preparation of energy for muscle use, etc -all these things prepare the body for either fight or flight. For a complimentary example: hormones are released during every second of the woman's life and which hormones dictate what part of her menstrual cycle she is in, and there are effects from that we can observe in the physical body such as menstrual bleeding. Same thing.

When the body is in a state of normalcy (emotional contentment) the body I would say is running at "cruise control" -the normal everyday quiescence needed for normal locomotion, respiration, normal hormone production, digestion, etc.

However, when the body is frightened, that sympathetic nervous system starts many different things in motion: I believe that as a person who is highly sensitive to other people's emotions, I can feel the very tiny vibrations (i.e. like a machine with lots of moving parts you could hear in a factory) made as the body "restructures" itself for the fight or flight response.

I cannot see auras, so I have never really thought about it; however it makes sense to me. The body is tuned to take in stimuli around it and process them. It makes sense to me that people who see auras are processing vibrational theory through sight instead of sound or touch.

When I refer to out of body, it is a totally different thing than personality. Out of body, in my words, means removing or expanding the energy (soul) out of the physical body. My faith believes that when someone dies, the physical body dies because it is aged organic material, but the energy (soul) remains. Some people think of this as spirits, guardians, ghosts, or angels depending of their faith.

For me the people easiest to feel don't necessarily have an intro or extroverted personality; it is more about a person's energy. So when I cannot feel someone as well, I believe they either 1) don't have major emotional shifts that set off the body's cascade of defenses, or 2) they project their energy out into the world less. It is kind of like people who talk very softly are easier to tune out than people who talk very loud -some energies (I call them a person's "energy signature") are easier to tune out because they aren't so obnoxious ;)


This is simply how I experience the world. If you asked someone else "how do you experience the color green" they may reply differently. I hope it helps you work through some of the answers you were looking for all the same :) Have a lovely day!

Umar
@umar
04/16/15 07:19:24AM
72 posts



I am happy it could help, Gunter. It isn't the level of the issue that is important, but our own experience with it -bad is still bad. I think it is good to have examples of "yes, it is possible to get through; I made it" :)

Umar
@umar
04/15/15 08:53:13PM
72 posts

A little area of positive:


Empath

Although the birth has already happened, you may enjoy visiting with this newborn giraffe and her mama by watching live :) As I posted this: the baby just work up suddenly and fell back asleep :D

http://www.apl.tv/giraffe-birth-live.htm

Umar
@umar
04/15/15 08:51:01PM
72 posts

A little area of positive:


Empath

Thank you :)

Umar
@umar
04/15/15 08:50:53PM
72 posts

A little area of positive:


Empath

This is a beautiful and inspiring story. Thanks for sharing! I hope she finds a loving home soon!!

Umar
@umar
04/15/15 08:49:02PM
72 posts

Is my energy making crystals crack?


Empath

I know nothing of this subject, but I find this very interesting and would like to follow. :)

Umar
@umar
04/15/15 08:47:54PM
72 posts



I should have elaborated: because of this, I experience empathism internally. My energy (some people may call it a soul I guess) *feels* the energy of another that is communicated through their vibrations. So, when someone is upset, I feel that very strongly as their body goes insane preparing to deal with the problem; however, when someone feels physical (stubbed toe) pain, I don't experience that myself. It is only the emotions of the energy (or soul) that I feel, not the body.

Umar
@umar
04/15/15 08:44:55PM
72 posts



I believe in something I call vibrational theory, so different emotions make the body react in many different ways (chemically, etc) that change the very slight resonance of its molecular make-up. I believe that I am hyper sensitive to those vibrations that travel in the air similar to how I hear sounds.

I started forming my understanding of this as a child way before I knew of the "empath" label. Through such I developed a spiritual-type of faith and believe that the energy or soul can exist outside of the body. Sometimes, when people feel very passionately, they radiate more ("louder"), and I can feel that more if I am "out of body."

For me, my spirituality and empathism is just another means of living life that I grew up with; it is very natural for me to live in a hypersensitive state "out of body" during moments of fear or when experiencing something enlightening. Fear because it is my natural flight/fight position: a good solid standing.

I am not sure if that is at all what you were looking for, but that's what being an empath means to me :)


updated by @umar: 03/24/17 06:04:32PM
Umar
@umar
04/15/15 08:33:24PM
72 posts



Thank you so much :) I did a lot more fighting these last few days, and today is the first day I knew it was okay to stop fighting -I figured out every possible thing and it was time to stop.

It is amazing because your story did really touch me at just the right moment, and today -just like you said!- I just landed an interview that would have me house and pet sitting for someone for two weeks. It isn't a perfect fix, but it could be such a blessing for me because I would move into their home for those two weeks! Don't get me wrong; I am still in a "fighting to fix this" mentality, but I am trying to suppress that ;) Thank you for being like a little voice in my head helping me to get through this <3 <3

Umar
@umar
04/15/15 08:31:19PM
72 posts

Re-grounding When You Can't Remove the Issue


Empath

Thank you again everyone for your comments and support. In the last week I took steps to involve others, learned about my resources, and reflected on all of my options regarding the situation. Thankfully, it has not gotten any worse, and hopefully the steps I have taken will help keep the waters calm until I can move. If things do escalate, I know what I can do, and because of this, I feel in control again and much of my anxiety has decreased (kind of)... and with that, my ability to keep my energy, and those of others, has relaxed out of fight or flight mode as well.

I have started listening to music even more, do a mediation-type yoga once to twice a day, and am implementing the survival techniques. Thank you everyone for helping me get through this. Today I received great news about an opportunity to be gone from my current residence for about two weeks to house and pet sit out of town -praying this goes through!

Best of wishes to you all <3

Umar
@umar
04/15/15 08:22:39PM
72 posts

Re-grounding When You Can't Remove the Issue


Empath

Thank you Mona; I just started using the turning down the volume technique. It is such a silly little thing, but it has helped immensely especially in times when I am in public!! :)

Umar
@umar
04/15/15 08:20:30PM
72 posts

Re-grounding When You Can't Remove the Issue


Empath

Thank you for sharing your experiences, Kate. This piece in particular was especially helpful to me these last few days: "Otherwise it is like a stone on your heart. There is a difference between running away from obstacles and understanding how to hop or instead of turning away, avoiding them." Nea also mentioned stones; this is something I plan to look into soon.

I also loved, "One of the worst things a being can have is not having a place to call home. Every bug and snake and bird has a hiding place to which they can safely return. One should ensure that this little place they have provides them a piece of rest as the world is messy enough sometimes and we need our solitude." You described how I feel in words perfectly!

Umar
@umar
04/15/15 08:15:37PM
72 posts

Re-grounding When You Can't Remove the Issue


Empath

Hi Nea,

I had never considered using stones. Thank you very much for sharing your experiences; I will certainly have to look into this option. <3

Umar
@umar
04/15/15 08:10:05PM
72 posts



Hi Gunter, I am excited for the new opportunities that will be coming in your life -even if you don't see them now :) Do you follow Humans of New York on Facebook? A recent post about a woman in a similar situation who developed this amazing spiritual life was shared, which you may like.

I am also really bad at waiting :D

Here is the link to that post:https://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork/photos/a.102107073196735.4...

Umar
@umar
04/13/15 09:32:02PM
72 posts

Does anyone ever see you for you?


Empath

Love this!

Umar
@umar
04/13/15 09:30:28PM
72 posts

Does anyone ever see you for you?


Empath

Nope girl, imo you had it right before the epiphany. Some people believe they are entitled because of x, y, and z. In my book, no one is more entitled than the next person -everyone deserves the best possible and everyone needs to work hard for it. A person who deserves it and receives help from you will be thankful and repay you in kindness, repayment, gifts, words... a person who takes advantage of you will come back to the vending machine of Emmy to see what else comes out.

Don't waste your energy hurting for others who don't hurt for themselves -again, just my-very strong ;)-opinion!

There are many people who would welcome your help with love, prayer, kindness, hugs, tears, gifts, repayment (and paying if forward!) or whatever else they have; these are the people I hurt for because in their hurt they are trying but not succeeding.

Umar
@umar
04/13/15 09:22:49PM
72 posts

Does anyone ever see you for you?


Empath

Hi Emmy,

I have been working on "purging" the negativity recently. I find that I cannot change others, but I can change my surroundings and whether to keep them in it or not. I always (try lol) to stay true to who I am; I don't hold back my empathism, I don't have any issue showing my love nor my fight when threatened, and I am very open and honest about everything -very communicative. I put my best self out there and see what is reciprocated.

Sometimes it works out great! I have one very new friend for example (male, I am female) who, one day when I was very upset about my interaction with another, told me he totally understood why I was upset: because that was just me, to care and love everyone and never draw judgement against good people -he said that's why so many people like me (which I didn't know :) My relationship with people like this friend is stronger because I give 100% of my self to them and they get to really know the core of me. My friend knows I am empathic, and to have him console me--in such a new relationship--with that in mind made my soul just sing!

Conversely, when someone "screws me over" I give them the benefit of the doubt (usually twice, two shots only): I express to them exactly how I feel and see how they react. They either have to convince me they are sorry, are understanding, or can show me with I was wrong by articulating their perspective -otherwise, I'm done. When I say done, I mean that quite literally: I block (not unfriend, block) on FB, delete phone numbers (or move them in my phone to a different area until I am ready to delete), move photos to a new folder hidden on my laptop; I completely cut that person and their hate or negativity totally out of my life (because ain't nobody got time for that crap!).

Then I take the situation to a current friend. I explain what happened, why I was upset, and we reflect on it. This helps build a closer friendship with this friend and strengthens my choice to move forward without the "bad person" in my life. I think validation from our friends helps with the grieving process because we don't second-guess everything then.

I think there are lots of people "like us" who don't identify as empath but hold the same "good person" core-values. I believe that every time I let a bad one fall out that I am making room for a new good one to move in. The best way to find good ones is to show you, well, are a good one :)


I don't believe I owe anyone anything. Anything (period). However, I would give the world to numerous people who deserve it. <3 I hope my rambling helps in some way.

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