Ahahahaha that is great! I did feel strongly that this web site was not a place for me to try to help everyone (omg, how exhausting) but a place for people to learn to help each other. I feel very blessed that we have so many "functional" empaths on the EC who can help guide the more novices in the right direction.
LOL! It's a good thing I come here regularly to peek at what's going on, otherwise I might have missed this!
I have been really touched by all the supportive email/messages I have received. Every one of them made a deep impression on me, and hopefully a lasting one .
At the end of the day, it's up to me to choose to pay more attention to the people who have been helped by my work than to those who are "still looking". I do hope they find what is a better fit for them. Thanks to all those who reminded me of that!
Yeah, that's what I expect when on for many us. I think realizing that not everyone does this is a major turning point. So is figuring out "what" it is .
Side note--I just finished my own Ph.D. last month, so I know what a huge task it is. Good luck and godspeed! I hope you enjoy the process. (And for those times when you are not enjoying it, the best advice I ever got regarding my dissertation was, "Done is better than perfect.")
AHAHAHAHA! Indeed, what great advise. It's especially hard to follow because this is such an interesting topic for me that I could probably keep reading for the next 10 years...But indeed, it needs to get done even if I don't have a reference to every single article on emotional sensitivity.
That's fine, as I do mean it as a mix of both question. Meaning when did you realize you could "feel the emotions of others", whether or not you called it empath. There was no such word when I was a kid, so the word does not matter
We've gotten hurt so many times, often unknowingly, that we're just "raw" from all kind of painful "emotional memories". It can also be hard to trust our own feelings, after having spent so much time feeling other people's stuff.
In this EFT coaching video (meaning you just tap along with me - or rather my cartoon spokesperson , you can start rebuilding your trust in yourself. It takes time, but every round on this video will make you feel better!
PS: Please leave me a nice rating or a comment (or both!). That's what makes it all worth it
As you may know (or not , I am writing my PhD dissertations on Empaths. I'm curious about something so I have setup a quick poll (just 1 question) on the Empath Survival Program facebook page. If you have a sec, pop over there and answer it!
This is the Empath Survival Program facebook page:
As you may know, I have been adding the Empath Survival Program to Facebook.
I'm always looking for new ways to reach more people who might be Empaths and seeing a link to this program in your friend's newsfeed might be just the discreet hint someone needs to figure out what's happening to them!
So while I was at it, I updated Technique 3 to use a brand new EFT video I just produced.
Here is the full post from my web site!
Being an Empath with family and friends
Family and friends are a very special kind of "crowd". We naturally pay more attention to the emotional state of the people who are close to us. Once you have mastered the anonymous crowd of the mall, you might still be struggling with Christmas and birthday parties.
Have you noticed how we seem to pay more attention to the information that we careabout, whether we love it hate it. For Empath that can make close relationships very difficult as it pile on the emotions of our husbands, wives, children, parents and close friends.
Empaths can get in trouble because they want to helptheir family and friends, even if no help has been requested. I can't tell you how many times it creeps up on me to inadvertedly tune into my son, even though I have excellent control over my Empath skills when it comes to everyone else!
Empaths with abusive family members also tend to keep them "on the radar" in an effort to protect themselves from an incoming wave of aggression. It acts as a sort of smoke detector. Unfortunately, that alarm can end up being triggered constantly.
These unconscious patterns can gives rise to a difficult inner conflict: We want to pay attention to their feelings but at the same time, it's overwhelming.
In the end, it's essential to resolve the underlying conflict before progress can be made. Whether you feel responsible for your family or you feel threatened by them (or both), learning to let go and feel safe will make a world of difference.
Technique 3: Resolving Inner Conflicts
The first type of inner conflict comes from a sense that we can help our close ones by always paying attention to their emotions.Trying to help relatives is both exhausting and likely to bring about conflict and frustration. In the end, you cannot help someone when they have not explicitly asked for help.
Here's a great exercise to this powerful desire to help: 1) Make a tight first with your dominant hand. 2) In this fist, imagine that you are holding your desire to help those you love. 3) Take a deep breath and slowly open up your fist very wide, releasing all this tension. 4) To anchor this in your conscious mind, say to yourself: "I release any control over this person's well being. Their happiness is in their hands". Next time you start to feel overwhelmed around your family/friends, just form a fist and release it. It's easy to discretely do it under the dinner table!
It's quite natural to pay attention to things that might hurt us. For Empaths, that can mean monitoring a criticizing or angry parent who might unexpectedly lashed out at us. However, it can bring about a state of "hyper awareness" where we're always on the lookout for negative emotions.
Feeling safe is such a powerful state of being for an Empath. But that feeling does not come from controlling the outside circumstances of our lives, but rather from nurturing a feeling a safety inside of our own psyche. If we can feel safe even when we sense that someone is angry, we have truly conquered this destructive pattern.
I like to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to release of negative thought patterns and develop new positive ones. I have created several EFT coaching videos to help Empaths. If you're not familiar with EFT, you can read a quick introduction here: http://www.EliseLebeau.com/eft
Follow me in this EFT coaching video: Feeling Safe
As most of you know, the Empath Community is hosted by Ning.com which charges us a yearly fee $239). I prefer to keep the web site "free" so I do not have a membership fee.
Sooooo, once a year(when Ning bills me , I hold a virtual fund raiser so that people who have been helped by the community can help us raise the funds we need to keep it going!
As you'll see on the web page, I have setup a "Chip in" widget which you can use to donate what feels good to you
PS: Every year, some members express the concern that I will be paying a fee for every donation because I will be using Paypal. Please don't worry about that as I consider it my own contribution to the EC
By the way, In 2010, we got everything we need in less than 5 hours!
After almost 4 years, I feel it's time for me to step away from the Empath Community. It's been quite an amazing ride and I would like to thank everyone who has made the site what it is now!!!
To carry on my "Janitorial duties" and also create new avenues for the Empath Community, I have chosen a handful of long time members to be the new administrators. They have chosen to remain anonymous so they their work can be done quietly, efficiently and with minimal disruption to their existing presence here.
You will see them clean up the forums according to the posting guidelines, handle the errrr unease that has been stirring the web site recently and also come up with inspiring ways to keep growing and expanding.
Please know that I feel I am leaving you in good hands and that I support their very difficult decisions.
It's not easy managing change. So I would ask everyone to please be kind and gentle towards those who bear this heavy responsibility. Having been there myself, I can assure you it's the toughest job an Empath could ever have and your continued support means a LOT.
I will not be receiving IMs or replies from the Empath Community web site anymore. If you have any questions or concern, please contact one of the moderators!
When reporting an issue, please send a private message to Admin including the username the person who is spamming/abusing you!
1) Spammers do NOT have your private email address. But they can post on your wall which will forward an email to you with the content of their message...Spammers thrive on the possibility of getting a response, so don't feed them.
2) When reporting abuse, please send a link of the offending post with the username of the member who is causing problems. I cannot ban anyone without proof! So make sure you have evidence to support your claim
The quicker you report the problem, the sooner it can be fixed.
That's awesome Roxy. I think there is great power in knowing that the EC is here for us, even if we're not coming to visit every day. Some members have come and gone but, most importantly, they've come back in their time of need!
Ahahaha, I actually changed this back. My initial intent was to get the swearing that comes from the Venting group off the main page (their titles show up in the latest activity) but I didn't know it would also whack out everyone's group activity on their personal profiles.
Sigh for me, but Yay for you guy's personal profile working again
Yeah Ning is VERY annoying in that i does not allow me to separate the group activity feed from the main forum activity feed. I have filed a feature request for this but who knows if they'll ever do it
Let me know if you ever find a way to magically make that happen. All I can say is that I have spent countless hours in the last few hours debating how to best achieve this. It is a very painful process at time to try to balance the need for self expression with the need for emotional safety.
I have had very long nights, unable to sleep because I felt I was failing in my effort to somehow get in the vicinity of that balance, knowing that I can never reach it because some people will always be displeased with my decisions.
And yet, I feel that the EC is often a springboard for its members. It is my most profound intention that *everyone* find what they are looking for here, even if that means spreading their wings and having to move on to continue on their own spiritual journey.
Empath are just regular people...and differences in opinions are inevitable. I have never in my 20 years of being on the Internet found a place that didn't have some sort of personal conflicts going on. So I do my best to make space for it (such as in the groups) while also keeping the main forums easily accessible to people who just need support, not "constructive criticism"
I have been seeing a LOT of discussions in the main forum about topics that have nothing to do with Empaths. By that I mean anything about religion, the paranormal or new age concepts.
Although those topics are fascinating, they violate our posting guidelines (#4 and #5)! I ask that the topics posted in the main forum be related to "being an Emapth".
Although we tend to get overwhelmed by the sheer number of posts, the moderators will have to close down discussions that are not aligned with our guidelines. If you want to have conversations about other topics, PLEASE post in our wonderful groups! There is a group for everything you can imagine!
You can be a HUGE help by following our posting guidelines and giving a break to our forum faires (and yes, there are guy fairies too!
Are you wondering why we have that posting guideline? Glad you asked! My purpose here on the EC is to take care of the "new" Empaths who have just realized what is happening to them. They are confused, wounded and usually scared.
As such, it is my mandate to create a soothing, inviting and informative web site about Empaths. Just the way it was when you first joined...!
I'm going to see it this weekend...I can't wait! I LOVE it when they base movie on actual people.I felt that way about the show Medium, when it first started. Although I don't watch it anymore because the gore/horror factor is too much for me, I cried through the few first episodes (in a good way) because there were so many details in that show that only a real medium could know. I felt like we were finally making a mainstream appearance on TV. They had actually *asked* one of us to describe how this works, as opposed to just make stuff up.:Din love,Elise
Welcome Wendy!Fortunately, you can take your time now, just taking in as much as is comfortable whenever you feel you need it!Keep things comfortable and enjoy the mind blowing ride of coming "home" in love,Elise